Wasim Kempson – Fiqh of Janaza – Session 3 – the Mourning & Grieving Period

Wasim Kempson
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Smilo Al hamdu lillah wa salatu salam ala Rasulillah Salam aleikum wa rahmatullah wa barakato.

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Okay, our next session we're going to deal with,

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as mentioned, there's some permissible actions by those present,

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to do with the mourning or the grieving process,

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first and foremost, and that no one dies or no one leaves this life. In fact, anything that happens,

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anything that happens or occurs in this world, the life is by the permission of Allah subhanaw taala. There was nothing that any one of us

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can do to avoid what Allah Allah Allah has decreed for us.

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So if somebody is

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or somebody has passed away, and it could have been if they got to that place a little bit earlier or a little bit later than that wouldn't have happened. Allah Allah Allah decreed it that way.

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So we must accept. And it's part of our Eman is part of the fundamental beliefs of our Imen to believe in a cuddle. And that everything happens by Eliza just permission by his limitless wisdom, and power and ability. subhanaw taala.

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Now, Allah subhanaw taala

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causing people to die

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part of a part of living. The part of our existence if you like on this earth is that we die.

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And no doubt it is a great test. But it shouldn't come to any sort of come to a surprise to anybody because Allah subhanaw taala didn't tell us or we don't find anything from the sunnah to say that we will die or every person should expect to live to one particular age. We do know that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said your own middle mighty Medina said Tina was their inner center

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that the approximate age of my OMA will between be between 60 and 70 years average.

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A person may live younger than that, or pay a person may go over them. But death doesn't know any particular age. So it shouldn't come to any surprise or a surprise to anybody that if a person passes away, but there are expected behaviors from us beliefs that we should have. And we should have patience. Allah azza wa jal tells us in Surah Al Baqarah in verse 155

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that allows the panel to anuses Wallah number one Nakum the shade in mineral healthy will the jewelry one Aqua sea mineral and worldly will unfussy with Femara to oversee the soybean we will surely try you test you with hunger, danger, loss of wealth and lives, which is the purpose of using this area. Allah azza wa jal tells us he's going to test us with the taking of lives. So give glad tidings to the patient.

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So required to be patient.

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Anna signal Malik Radi Allahu anhu, that verse sort of Bukhara one 155 And the verses continue about the reward or the status of those who are patient or Bashir, disobedient under the Unity Vasa Tomasi were to call in early Allah who were in Rajasthan, those who say or when a calamity befalls them, what do they say? They say Verily We belong to Allah and to whom we will return. When an ally him Salah were to lobby him Rama upon them is blessings and mercy from Allah subhanaw taala. What will go home we'll move to dune and they are the rightly guided people, rightly guided people who demonstrate patience.

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Also, the importance of patience is we find in the hadith of Annecy, bumalik Radi Allahu Anhu This is a Hadith found in both Bukhari and Muslim

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that Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam passed by a woman who was crying

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next to

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and he told her it

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was very to fear Allah and to be patient.

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not recognize him, she replied, leave me alone, that you have not been struck by an affliction. Like mine. You'll have been tested how I've been tested. She didn't realize who she was addressing

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me she was dismissed. Shortly after she was told that this was in fact the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam who advised her

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she became upset and agitated so she went to the Prophet salallahu Alaihe salam to

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To apologize and she stated that I didn't recognize you. The Prophet Elissa Sam said a very important statement he said in a Sabra endo Willis dogma or sadhna.

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That indeed patients is when is right at the beginning of the affliction, patients can be demonstrated and shown a time after the affliction. But the real time when you need to show patients is right when you at the strike the first striking of that

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calamity or affliction that comes to you

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so that's the first state we should have is to be patient and to seek also, Allah azza wa jal is reward at sub

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c colossal pinata Allah's mercy, forgiveness during this calamity.

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Allah subhanaw taala Allah says in surah Turabian Surah Turabian

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as chapter 64 first number 11

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Allah subhanaw taala says, ma Swami mostly but in the evening Allah,

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that no disaster No calamity, you know affliction strikes you except by the permission of Allah.

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Wa mejor. Miller, he did convert that to have whoever has Eman belief in Allah, Allah azza wa jal will guide their heart

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while Allah will be equally che in Allen and Allah azza wa jal is no of all things.

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This is an important area, in that Allah subhanaw taala tells us a number of important things number one,

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and I'm not restricting to what I mentioned here the only benefits you can take from it. But some benefits are number one, that nothing happens no calamity or trying to be fooled as you except it is by Allah's permission.

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Allah azza wa jal, this is by Allah Subhan Allah has decreed that this happened

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immediately after Allah subhanaw taala talking and addressing informing us about a calamity a test or trial.

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Allah subhanaw taala says And whoever believes in Allah, now what is the link? What is the link between Allah azza wa jal telling us about a difficult trial calamity, then talking about Amen.

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That there is a direct link, because Allah subhanaw taala is saying that first and foremost that nothing happens except by Allah's permission. And

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and that is part of our Eman to accept that and to believe in that and that whoever believes in Allah and part of believing in Allah is believing in the color of Allah is that Allah azza wa jal will guide you.

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Now, if Allah subhanaw taala guides you what does that mean Eliza gel is guiding you to what will Allah subhanaw taala guide you to if you have Eman in Allah, what Allah is which will guide you to Allah is a general guide you to goodness, Allah subhanaw taala will guide you to that what is beneficial for you.

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So if you look at it very carefully, Allah subhanaw taala is talking about calamities, and that if you believe in Him, you accept and you understand what is happening concerning this calamity. Allah will guide your heart.

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Not that Allah azza wa jal mentioned, he mentions that he says that he will guide the person, He will guide your heart. Because

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whenever you are struck by any calamity, or you find any difficulty, where is it that you feel that

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you feel in your heart? And somehow

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they'll call E and just

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without thinking about it, you do that? Like when you forget you go, I forgot? Or when you said your brother, Would you like something to eat? He says, No, thank you. It's just something that you do.

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So it is your heart that fields is your consciousness is in your heart, the consciousness, you remember, you memorize in your mind, of course, but your consciousness

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is in our house. So Allah subhanaw taala will guide your heart to that what is best, if you believe in Him subhanaw taala and have an understanding of that masiva that isn't sort of a problem. And it is these kinds of

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every area. In fact, we should try to ponder over to think that Allah Subhana Allah says no disaster strikes except by Allah's permission and whoever believes in Allah, He guides his heart and Allah is unknowable things. And then we go to the next verse without really pondering over. It's good to ponder over times, and really the last panel is telling us

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so to have it set to seek ALLAH subhanaw taala is reward.

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Also, as I mentioned in the verse in Surah, Al Baqarah, in verse 155 and onwards is the case. The same is true to say in early law he were in

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Now you lay here on your own,

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that Allah subhanaw taala talks about the rightly guided people who are the they are ones who are patient or partially disobedient, those when a calamity befalls them call in early Allah he were in LA he Raji on the you say that statement and that you understand what that statement means in the law, that we belong to Allah,

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that we belong to Allah so the fact that we belong to Allah, that Allah azza wa jal is the owner of the Dominion and everything that is inside the Dominion everything inside the universe, Allah azza wa jal created and owns it.

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And the fact that Allah azza wa jal owns everything his for iron Dima, you read that he does as he pleases. He gives and he takes as he pleases because he's a pinata and is the owner of everything.

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So if

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Allah subhanaw taala sends medical mod to take the soul of that person is it because because Allah is sort of has the right to do that? Because he owns everything within the universe, we belong to Allah.

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We're in LA he Roger own unto Him, we will return and we will face him with our deeds

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the hadith of Selma Radi Allahu anha reports. We're talking about grieving, how to behave at the time of hearing about this, and to mourn, to show our sadness how we're going to depth now. On selamat er the Allahu Anhu narrates that Allah's Messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, Whenever an affliction strikes a Muslim, and he or she says, As Allah commanded, in early LA, he was in LA he arrived your own this the verse in Surah, Al Baqarah. And this isn't the meaning to to Allah, we belong to Him, He will return Oh Allah reward me for my affliction, and replace it for me, that which is better,

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then Allah will surely replace it for him with that, which is better.

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I'm Selma, what are the Allahu Anhu

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was married to Abu selama.

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Now, when Abu Salam he passed away,

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are on the line.

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She stated that who is better than Abu selama who is better than him?

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And he is the first from my family that migrated to Allah's Messenger Salallahu Alaihe Salam.

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Yet I said it in nearly la he were in LA theological. Allah whom Jordan NiFi most mostly buddy work. Luke was literally Kira Mina, that, Oh Allah, replace me or replace this calamity with something that is better for me. She said this application

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and that she has a daughter to take care of.

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Who did she end up marrying? None other than rasool Allah SallAllahu Allah.

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So it is important to upon hearing any calamity, not just death, but calamities in general, you make this statement.

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Now permissible acts of of grieving how to grieve, if you find there's a close relative, and it's permissible for you to see them. Especially with Muharram. This is of course it takes these rulings are still applicable. This, the fact that the person has passed away doesn't mean that not Muharram from you now, anyone can see for example, a woman that is not permissible. Only her Mahadevan would be able to see her

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close relatives.

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When I say close relatives, I don't mean you know, cousin was close relative No, I mean that the permissible close relatives are allowed to see a woman for example, like her son, brother, or father and people like this. Uncle, grandfather.

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When the Prophet salallahu alayhi wa sallam when he passed away, that Abu Bakr Siddiq karate Allah one

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that he he came into the house of Isha came off of his ride. And the Prophet Ellison was covered with the sheet as we mentioned in Hadith earlier.

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Abu Bakr Radi Allahu Allah, that he removed the sheet from the face of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam and kissed him. So the Rasul Allah tip the Hi Ian will my heat and that you were pure and beautiful, when alive and when did so shows the permissibility of those who are allowed to see the deceased before they are buried, and to kiss them to show love to them, to show that you love them and you care for them.

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The fact that the soul has been taken by Allah subhanaw taala and there is no life in that body anymore.

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They still have great rights over us.

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And we over them

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so it is permissible to kiss them. And as a shallot the Allahu Anhu reported that when the Prophet salallahu Alaihe Salam came to see Earth Monday with them of their own or the Allah one, after he had died, he uncovered his face bent over and kissed him.

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And maybe some cultures This is not permissible we can't do this it is allowed. It is allowed and is permissible.

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It is also permissible to, to actually cry to show tears to shed tears.

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the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa salam

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as narrated in the hadith of anastomotic, or the Allah Juan,

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is that the last of the Prophet NSSM children to be born was Ibrahim, the last of his children.

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he was born in Medina, around

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seven for eight fear of the Hijra.

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And the Prophet alayhi salatu salam U placed Ibrahim in the care of a woman who was on the lived on the outskirts of Medina, as was practice amongst the Arabs that they wouldn't be bought up in the center like in Makkah, you know, you know, the story doesn't you know, happens with the Arabs, they would place their children in the care of a witness and they would be brought outside.

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Not in the middle of the city. This was done with the son of the Prophet alayhi salatu salam and the Prophet sallallahu, I would visit his son very regularly, often because Medina is quite small, he had the opportunity to visit his son regularly.

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Now, on one occasion, it came to the attention of the Prophet salallahu alayhi salam that his son had fallen very ill and they didn't look good.

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It was likely that maybe his son was going to die. So the Prophet salallahu Alaihe Salam went there, and he managed to

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find his son barely life, barely alive. He didn't go there and find him that he'd passed away but I found him barely alive, and that His breathing was extremely shallow.

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And the Prophet sallallahu wasallam held his son while the rule while the soul departed from his son's body.

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So upon this happening that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam began to cry,

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and Abdurrahman, nibbana, alpha the Allah one, upon seeing this, said, even knew your Rasul Allah even you that you shed tears like this.

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And then the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said he had been out in now Rama, that oh son of elf, that this is a mercy

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This is a mercy from Allah subhanaw taala that he allows us to, to express our feelings in this manner. Imagine that you had all of this within yourself or this emotion and that you were unable to cry that we didn't know how to do there wasn't it would be inside us shedding tears as a way of you know, us dealing with it of course emotionally but somehow is almost

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how you want to explain it allowing the emotion to come out of ourselves and natural way. So it's a mercy from Allah subhanaw taala that we have we react in this way? Have a difficulty? Does crying show displeasure? Does crying show that

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you're not happy with what Allah subhanaw taala decreed? No does not. Because the fact that the Prophet alayhi wa sallam cried and said it was a Raha Rama it was a mercy. It's a natural reaction natural.

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But there are of course lines, there are boundaries, what we have to bear in mind as to what is acceptable and what may show what might constitute

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a person not being pleased with what Allah azza wa jal has decreed.

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So the Prophet salallahu Alaihe Salam said that the eyes they shed tears and the heart feels sad, but we only say things pleasing to our Lord. And we are indeed saddened by your departure. Oh, Ibrahim.

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This hadith is in both Bukhari and Muslim and the Hadith here

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that the Prophet salallahu Alaihe Salam on the occasion of sin of manubrium or the rune or the Allahu anhu, that he SallAllahu eyeson cried tears until they flowed from his eyelids. So weeping and crying is permissible.

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Also Abu Bakr Radi Allahu Anhu upon seeing the Prophet salallahu Alaihe Salam, as I mentioned briefly earlier about kissing the Prophet, Allah says I'm kissing the deceased, if it's permissible for you to see them

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That Abu Bakr Radi Allahu Anhu upon seeing the Prophet alayhi wa sallam uncovered him kissed in between his two eyes on his forehead.

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And he said, I will sacrifice both my mother and my father for you, oh prophet of Allah. And Allah will surely not combine for you two deaths, you have died a death after which you will never die. And upon saying this, that he is he Radi Allahu Anhu was, was also crying.

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So, what you have is the weeping which is permissible and then you have something more, which is called in Arabic recode al hate that which is like official mourning, official grieving for the deceased.

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in this issue, the the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam addressed the women folk on this issue, specifically.

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And that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi salam said, it is not permissible for a woman who believes in Allah and the Last Day to mourn over a dead person more than three days, except for her husband, where she moans for months and 10 days.

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This is the hadith of ohm Habiba about the Allahu Allah

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which is found in the body. Now, it doesn't mean that you cannot shed a tear, because tears is not something that you have control over.

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But it is

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like a time set aside of I can call it structured or intended mourning, open morning and showing grieving for a person. If it's not the husband, it shouldn't be more than three days. And if it is the husband, this is just to women.

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Doesn't mean it's not applicable to men, that they can just mourn as they like, no it doesn't. But the Prophet alayhi salam addressed women because the woman is more emotional in this in these things generally.

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So we have the permissibility of crying, because there's a natural reaction, we have understanding what is mourning.

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But then there is another step after that which a person may go into which is coup, Nia, wailing, screaming, shouting,

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this is not permissible at any time.

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The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam

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totally prohibited this form of

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showing one's emotions.

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First of all, this wailing is an act of Jay Lee is from the actions of the people prior to Islam.

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The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, and this is a Hadith which is found in Sahih Muslim, that there are four practices of Rajah Helia that my Alma will never leave.

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My alma will never leave, leave four things.

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One of them is

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this wailing,

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the screaming after hearing a death. The other one is boasting about social status, defaming the kinship of relations, saying that my tribal my people is better than your people, and seeking rain by means of the stars.

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And as for the wailing of a woman who is in the Hadith, that if he doesn't repent before death shouldn't be raised on their day of resurrection wearing a garment of liquid pitch like top and a shirt of scabies.

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So, the Prophet salallahu Alaihe Salam prohibited this whaling. And in fact, when the Prophet salallahu Alaihe Salam was receiving BIA, receiving like a covenant and agreement with the believing women, he told them that they would have to fulfill their covenant in that they would not wail and scream.

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So this is something that is prohibited as whaling

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another issue

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that hadith, Abu Huraira Rhodiola and that there are two practices found amongst people both of which Indigo cover with the killing ancestry of others and wailing with the dead. There's no cover that takes you out of the fold of Islam.

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But rather is like a cover do not cover

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in that. It is a minor form of cover.

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Talk doesn't take you out of Islam.

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But for example, wailing over the dead is a person not understanding and interacting or in control of their emotions.

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And we should behave in a particular way and that this is by the color of Allah azza wa jal.

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Now, a person in fact, maybe the dead, the deceased, that is maybe punished for those wailing and screaming

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at his funeral, or who funeral or the time of burial.

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The deceased maybe punished for that.

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the correct view is that, because you might say, well, that's the disease is not their fault. Why are they being punished for the actions of other people? Doesn't Allah subhanaw taala tell us and so little and I'm in verse 164, no person shall bear the burdens or responsibilities of other people.

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In bringing these texts together, many of them they say

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that the person or the deceased person will be punished by the crying. The interpretation of the crying here is the wiggling screaming

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by the booker led by the crying and wailing of his family that is a person who instructed his family that when I die, you know show that you're really upset and scream and shout

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or that he is aware or she is aware that they will do that but doesn't tell them You shouldn't do that don't wait don't scream okay. So that's how you will bring the

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texts together

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it is permissible to

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be before we go into the actually some other prohibited acts is the striking of cheeks and tearing of clothes.

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The whoever slaps their face tests their clothes or invites others to and it's not slogans is not from us.

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And therefore, you find from one culture to next people behave differently

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all of this is prohibited because it shows that the person isn't in control. And it goes is contrary to what we mentioned earlier that patients should be demonstrated at the very striking at the very beginning of that calamity.

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And by behaving like this not saying in law he will Enola here are doing shows a form of displeasure by that what I lost planet Allah has

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other acts that people do is maybe shaving their head, does shoveling the hair,

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about hearing the death of people?

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Okay, that's what the issue of the announcing or the announcement that somebody's deaf

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and night, Mona in Arabic.

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the origin is that it is okay to inform people that so and so has passed away. So to encourage people to come to the janazah to keep it secret, maybe when nobody will know and nobody comes to the funeral prayer.

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People come in to the funeral prayers, something good is rewarding that. But the point is that, to what extent it is allowed for us to say that so and so's passed away, and where is it not permissible?

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It is not permissible, for example, for us to start announcing the death death of people

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were, and this is where this statement of how they didn't know the man or the Allahu Anhu used to say do not proclaim His death to anyone. For I fear that it may be a death of announcement that I heard Allah's Messenger SallAllahu and with my own ears forbid, the death of announcement

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i that

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the type of announcing, which means going from one door to the next you're going around finding individuals so and so died, so and so died, and you're going around finding looking for people, things like that, that's what you shouldn't do. You shouldn't, for example, have obituaries. You don't have that you don't put this in the newspaper. This is wrong is incorrect to do. So what happens? Now advertising the death of people doesn't work like this informing people normally, that's fine.

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But making a statement of it. This is something that is prohibited using loudspeakers, for example, to inform the whole of the community in the area that silence has died and there's something you shouldn't do

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which may involve then people excessively behaving excessively excessively in one way or the next

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is also recommended to

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console on show condolences for the, to the family who have lost

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one of the members of their family

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the Prophet sallallahu esims Hadith, which is recorded by an evil Baghdadi,

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which that the Prophet sallallahu wasallam said, Whoever consoles his brother in an affliction,

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Allah will close him with a green suit with which he will be delighted on the Day of Judgment.

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Narrated by Annecy. bumalik.

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says good to console the family shows brotherhood sisterhood,

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Sunday important

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aspects of outcome that we show unity at times of difficulty as well.

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Cora and Moosonee are the Alon reported that when Allah's Messenger Salallahu Alaihe Salam used to sit in the masjid with the companions

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that they would come and sit around him, the companions or the Elian home and then there was one particular companion, who would come with his son.

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And he would sit behind the Prophet lacs and his son would at times, climb over and sit then at the front of the Prophet alayhi salatu salam.

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Then the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said to the face head to head boy said you love him, you love your son. He said, the apostle Allah may Allah love you.

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Like I love my son.

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So, the

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immediately this Sahabi reacted that the strongest love that I can think of another love that I have my son, may Allah love you like that.

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And a very intense love.

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After a while, the this young boy that he that he passed away, and then the Sahaba, he stopped going to the Hanoch he stopped attending,

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sitting with the Prophet alayhi salatu salam, after a while, that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said Westfalen was so and so used to attend and they said, what he was afflicted by mercy, but he was afflicted and that his son passed away.

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So he said, if you can call him to come to like to console him to speak to him.

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So this is one of those examples. That was mentioned earlier, what do you say to a person is, you know, panel at the losing of their child.

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So the man he came, he said, Yeah, foolin. He said, so what? What is more? Beloved, what would you prefer?

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Enjoying your child, that your child remains with you just in this life, the spine of this life, or that tomorrow, that you will not reach the gate of Jannah.

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Accept that you find that he is preceded you and that he is there waiting, opening the doors agenda for you? What would you prefer?

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Either you demonstrate some form of patience.

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And the anti Serb and seeking allies reward was more preferable to you that you have this short life you have a few years with him.

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Because the fact that he's dying, he passed away when he was young, when his smallest the mercy with the calamities maybe that much more. Not that we are comparing a parent losing a child whether they are five or 10, the parent losing a child as they will see them as small. We're not comparing. But the prophet Ellison did mention that if a parent loses children when they are young, and that they are patient, that they will have a great reward in that the children be waiting there for them opening the doors agenda for them.

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And he replied to immediately, I would prefer that if the fact that he's passed away now, I you know, I demonstrate patience, and I will find my son, that he will be waiting for me at the doors of Jana. And that

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we entered together.

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This is what I would prefer. So the Prophet earlier and said,

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Veronica luck, that's for you. That's what you'll have.

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So Subhanallah then one of the unsolved one of the other Sahaba say Ya rasool Allah, is that something has is that something special for him? Or is it for for all of us?

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The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said Bell could look on this for all of you. That's not just specific to him. That's what any one of you that if this happens to you unusual patients, you show this up, then this will be for you.

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Now, in this is just just pondering over this particular Hadith and this scenario, the

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You know, the love that he had for his child, what he said to the Prophet sallallahu is and shows his intense love for his son. And Allah azza wa jal tested him with the loss of his child.

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You can't imagine what that parent must be going through.

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However, the prophets, Allah loves him, turned it completely, and gave him and gave all of us so much hope.

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All of us so much hope that if a person wants to be afflicted with that, that you can have that reward, that you meet your son or your daughter, and that they will be opening, holding the door of Jannah that you will go in together.

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Not just for the husband or the father, I should say, but for the mother.

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This is something that

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when you ponder over you think how.

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How merciful?

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How eloquent? How kind, how consider it.

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All of these words that you can think to describe the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam he was that in the most perfect way that a human being could be.

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So what do you say to people is very important when consoling them.

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also Matip news aid

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mentions another incident where the daughter of the Prophet salallahu Allah save himself Xena.

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Her child was very ill very sick,

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shallow breathing the she called for the Prophet salallahu Alaihe salam to come

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and he responded saying return my salaam to her and tell her in early in Manila Hema has

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what hola Hema alto welcome Lucia in endo li agilely mucem filter spirit will tell you

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that, firstly, say in Manila he will in a yard you own everything belongs to Allah and to Him we will return

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and everything

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belongs to Allah. He can take what he wishes and he can take what he wants, and everything has an appointed term. Everything has an appointment.

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So therefore let her be patient and seek Allah's reward.

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This message came back to her and she again asked for the Prophet Elisa to attend. The second time he sallallahu alayhi wa sallam he went to there. And the child was put in the lap of the Prophet alayhi salatu salam.

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And it's breathing the breathing of his grandchild. And they described it it was like the breathing of the echoing inside the vessel, very light. You could hear it

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like this very, very shallow.

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So then the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam. Upon seeing this began to cry as well upon his

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own grandchild.

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And again, they said yes, well, how is it that you are weeping? Again, he informed them in the app key Rahmatullah that I cry out of mercy for her.

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And in her in NEMA heavy rock, mutton Yaga Allah Hafiz vehicle Lu, Mejia Sherman, a bird that Allah subhanaw taala puts this mercy in the hearts of whom He wills were in NEMA yada, yada humble law, whom in a birdie head will hammer

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that indeed Allah does not grant mercy except to the merciful amongst his believers.

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And in another narration, which is found in Sahih Muslim,

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that if you show mercy to those who are on this earth, then Allah azza wa jal will show mercy to you.

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So, here the prophets Allah is and taught us what to say. Because, you know, maybe your last four words, what would you say if a person has lost somebody who's beloved to them? I'm sorry for your loss.

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is there anything I can do for you?

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Yeah, maybe you can think of some good things to say.

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Maybe it is. Maybe it's of benefit. I mean, that's a good thing to say just I can help you and if there's anything you need me to do, or to help you in any way, these are good things as well. But following what the prophet Elisa said, mentioned, and saying it to them,

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is very important, because mentioning Eliza Dilek times of calamities at times of difficulties is fundamental. Because if a person takes Allah azza wa jal out of the equation, then it becomes you dealing with the situation and you won't be able to do anything on your own.

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So reminding ourselves of Allah subhanaw taala is very important at this particular time. So you have personal Muslim, the fortress of the Muslim, memorize know what to say

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When consoling and speaking to your brothers and your sisters at times of have difficulty

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the last thing I want to mention concerning

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in terms of helping them consoling the family

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is that

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and the example that is given from the sooner we find which is found in tsunami node, that

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Jaffa even ABI Taalib or the Allahu and when he was martyred.

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He said, It's not only early a Jaffa in Tirana, that make food for Jennifer's family, because a matter has occurred which is diverted them from normal living.

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However, culturally, many times it's the other way around. It is the family who has been afflicted with the death that they are expected to provide food you go there and you eat food at their house, that's clear for sunnah.

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They shouldn't have to do anything. That is the family of friends, brothers and sisters, they should make things for them to make life easier for them. That you go there. I owe them bill

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that you go there and this didn't give us any not even a cup of tea.

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Business, you people it's crazy. Subhanallah how people have twisted

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what the Sunnah has or the Prophet LSDM gave to us to say we should help them not expecting people and also expecting but people have like this is what we're going to do but we're going to do deceased family we're gonna have kind of like, come over on certain Sunday we'll meet and we'll eaten that's not how it should be.

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Rather, it is

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for the relatives and

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more distant relatives if you like and others to make food for them and to make the situation easy for that offer whatever help you can for

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the family of the deceased.

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Now there are some I'm gonna mention very, very quickly because we're gonna have a short break, inshallah.

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Some forms of bidding, or innovations that people do.

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Things like people believing the deceased's soul begins to roam around the place until it's buried is not true.

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Okay, people lighting candles is an invasion into the deep

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things like putting a green branch in the room with a deceased body or reading Quran continuously over the body until it's washed.

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Placing a Quran on the deceased chest

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all of this letter says Allah has no foundation should be avoided.

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Things like a person will abstain from eating until the person is buried.

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That every time that is a meal time that we remember the deceased

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and we start mentioning the name every time we have something to eat. Even things like their favorite food, that that the you know the dead person they used to like their favorite food, let's make it we'll give it amongst a football up. Give it amongst the poor people. Again, there's no basis in this.

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Things like

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we will not eat good food or lavish, nice food we really, you know, simple food because we feel guilty. No, this is hasn't again, no.

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No basis hiring people to come. You hire a person to read the Quran to come over and house three occurrences again, no basis, commemoration, commemoration, remembering the deceased after the 40th day again, or annually.

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No bases were in particular types of clothing. Again, no basis preventing a woman for example, who is maybe pregnant or is on a monthly cycle. She can't come near the deceased is not allowed. It may affect her in some way. Again,

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no basis.

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