Channel: Waleed Basyouni
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hamdulillah Hina Ahmed who want to stay in or who want to study who want to stop Pharaoh, when I would allow him and surely I'm forcing him and say yeah Marlena Maria de la la medulla Alma you will follow her de la Hua shadow Allah Illa illa Allahu la sharika wa shadow under Muhammad and Abu rasuluh Allahumma salli wa sallim wa barik ala Nabina Muhammad wa ala alihi wa sahbihi wa salam Allahu Mehta, Sleeman kathira. About all praise due to Allah and His praise and blessings and peace be upon our Prophet, Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa alayhi wa sallam, his family, his companions and his followers until the day of judgment. I bear witness that Allah is the only one worthy of
worship, and Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa salam, his last and final messenger, my dear brothers and sisters, as the summer getting hotter.
And we're getting deeper into the summer a lot of things. One of the things that commonly happened during the summer is marriages. And marriage is such a beautiful concept started with humanity from day one. When Allah subhanaw taala created Adam, he created for him, his spouse, which is Hawa or Eve. And that's how Allah Subhana Allah define the relationships between them. Marriage is simple. It was never ever complicated until recently. But marriage is simple is a man married to a woman. That's it. And that's how it is since the beginning of humanity no matter how people try to reframe that or re
define that it will be something
became change history. And also, that's where the fifth Allah that Allah subhanaw taala have put under people's hearts and minds until human beings change their own fitrah which is possible the corrupt themselves. And with this case, when you corrupt yourself, corruptions will be something of a normal, it's like it's the the fitrah is to recognize Allah as your as your Lord is to worship Allah alone, but people corrupt that concept and corrupt their mind and heart and that's why the worship other than Him Subhana wa so it is very possible for people to corrupt what Allah subhanaw taala have made to them. In any case,
in marriages, there is so many things to be this concept is a big concept to be addressed. But almost 100 Allah told us that this marriage became the Sunnah the way of the best of his
servants, which is the Prophets and Messengers Welaka darsena Rasul Allah min Kubelik, our Jelena Allah whom as Raja with Ria, we have sinned before Mohammed, many messengers, who then have the had spouses, they have wives, and they have children. And that's also the way of Muhammad Sallallahu Sallam that's why he said, how they were in the episode what UniSA or Mareeba uncertainity for the 70 I am married man on a marry and whoever leave my way leave my son that does not belong to me. I'm saying this because this notion of oh, I don't want to get married this notion because I'm not going to be married. I'm not going to get married. You know, it's something fundamentally go against that
way Allah Subhan Allah created us and also the legend. That's why tomorrow the Allahu Allahu Allah kind of era Roger and Ka dieren Allah Zod, Tala imagism Imahara Fado, he said if somebody's capable have Elva means to get married, find the means and everything to get married the right person to get married, but they choose not to do that shows that this person either had a problem or he is fulfilling his desires in the Haram way in the wrong way, especially in a life that we have today and lifestyle that we have today, which is sexualization is something that that is so hyper sexualized over everything and that can have a two different reactions either the people will be so
into sexuality or the people will turn off by it it can be also get the opposite impact. In any case, Allah subhanaw taala also praised the good people have a servant and Lavina coluna Rob bene hablan I mean as far as you know, with react in a Kurata among the the supplication of the believers, they all bless us with wife bless us with a spouse blessed us with a husband and a children will be cool to arise. And also Allah Subhana Allah give that order well thank you hello, I am Minko masala Hina minibar de como email you can eat
Akufo Cara ugni, whom Allah whom infallibly marry, from the woman, and young or older, unmarried, what marry those who are unmarried, and also married from the righteous among Your women and among your men, and even if they are poor, Allah subhanaw taala well provide for them.
A woman came to the Prophet SAW Salem with her father, and her father was upset. He said, Yeah, Rasul Allah, how do you fit in to say, he said, My daughter, this daughter of mine is giving me a hard time. Then in the piece of Salam said, Why are you giving your father archetype? She said, he said, The man didn't even wait. He said, yada. So I brought her so many proposals. And she keeps saying no, no, no to them.
forgotten the visa Salam Kalia, born at Lima, ratatouille back, why didn't you listen to your father? Then she said, Well, ya rasool Allah, I would not marry anyone unless I know exactly what I'm going into. I need to know about marriage. I didn't know what my rights and his rights and how that will work. I need to be aware of it. Because Because I, before I get into this relationship, she's really smart, because they say the last decision you make by yourself is the decision of getting married. After that, everything is joint decision mainly. So she wants to know, then then there'll be someone explained to her. Then he said to her,
listen to your father, but listen to your father doesn't mean whatever he says. He has to be correct. He said to him, without his or would have been at Eternia and do not marry her without her consent. without her consent. Without her approval. He said salatu salam Yeah, mashallah Shabaab, Minnesota, I mean, Kumala, utter failure to zellwood and it will hurt you muslim, the process what I'm saying young men and woman, whoever can get married, be married, or get married.
And that's an order from the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam to people. That's why I always advise every parents here. Always tell your children if they reach the right age, if they understand the concept of marriage, prepare them for that and help them if they ever want to get married.
Also Nabi sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said to So would you marry and he said I'll be proud and boosting
off you and the day of judgment by the Lord number a few in the Day of Judgment
name about him become disabled we'll do the loser for any mobile him become an omen or McCarthyism become a PM. Also Nabi SallAllahu sallam said either documentary volna Dena who will Hello Oh, hello. Oh, so we do in Latifah router config net to fill out your facade on Aryan for Tirmidhi rodeada Hassan SallAllahu sallam, he repeated this statement three times. He said, If someone who are you pleased with their Deen with the religion and their character, with their character, marry them. If you don't do so, there will be a great deal of corruptions on Earth. And we see how a great deal of corruption in Earth today. And we can see that link to some how or to certain degree to the
declining of rates of marriage. In our society today. The rate of marriage is ridiculous. Ly low and getting lower, not only in our community here in America, but around around the world.
And the more people stay away from marriage, the way they're going to look to fulfill their desires and other ways, and the Haram way. Or you will have all these weird type of marriages that we hear about a marriage with a distance relation and marriage with a temporary relation and marriage only for the summer, or marriage for travel, and all this kind of concept that just the loopholes and you know, as a way to justify for themselves, adultery.
Here are some points that I want to
raise attention to it because a lot of people hamdulillah get into marriage during the summer, either, especially if you have children about to get the age of getting married. I want you to remember these issues because they are very common misconceptions about relationships when it comes to marriage. Number one, people when they look at the Hadith and maybe saw Salam, Tonka Hallmark actually are bad. People marry a woman for four reasons. He's you mentioned among them, her beauty and her wealth, her lineage her status, social status, and her Dean her basically her
of righteousness, how good she is,
religiously. Then he said, so careful to the one with that religion.
The most. Some people read this hadith others had applied to the men too. So a man will be married because how handsome he is, how coffee is how much money he makes, or his status in society, or his religion, how religious he is, then and maybe some will also recommend that religion should be the most important point. This hadith some people have misconception about this hadith, thinking that the other points are dismissed and the only point that you should take in consideration is the religion that's not what this hadith saying this hadith saying that the final decision should be made based on the religion so for example, you might like someone how they look like but if they
don't have religion, you know what No, somebody might very good wealthy have a good income good career. He makes so much money she makes so much money but you know what, someone who do have no regard for religion? No, thank you. Larry. I suddenly let Barbara Barbara mean demon in LA asterik indicate Abby idea naughty fella de yo Adela he helped consolidate con India Otto suka wazifa for V Jannetty. So here we say that no matter what you know quality the person has the legend is the final thing no matter how handsome he is, but no religion No thank you. So that's what the hadith is basically putting the emphasis on and from this hadith Karlovo Kahuna learn him out of him Allah
said when someone proposed a woman don't ask about religion first. Interesting when you want to ask about a man or a woman proposal don't ask about the religion that's the last thing you ask about. What Yes, because that will make it or break so for example, if I'm interested in someone who have high education, I asked Is there a person has a high education yes okay good check is this person you know I like to marry someone with certain feature physical features. You know, this like let's say this person dark skin? Yeah, it's dark skin. Excellent. Is this person a good Muslim? You know a person who religious No, okay cinematical.
But if you say if you say this person religious mashallah super religious
he is in the masjid he pray all the time. Excellent mashallah, that's a good proposal for my daughter. What do you do for living?
I mean, financially can McMullen live in Santa Clara so Luke koulamallah
just have no money. No, no job nothing? Oh, new see? No. Can Nicola that the Dean for
Academic Dean, if you say no, as if he said no, even though after he said the sole religious, and it not be appropriate. So that's why they said the religion come the last point to check. Another misconception quickly, which is please parents, listen carefully. Please. Young men and women listen carefully. Even though people like my kids here are not maybe getting married any soon.
But you know what, listen to this as you grow up older.
There is a big misconception call he she will change.
The mother the father telling the children don't worry, he will change. Don't worry, she will change. She will start wearing hijab after marriage. He will start praying after he will stop doing this he will do that. And you fool yourself. You see all these red flags about the person and you keep telling yourself oh, they will change Oh, they will change though I have bad news for you. People don't change.
Very, very rare for people to change. People change only if they really really determined to change and there are certain things that character per part of who they are. Somebody is lazy. He's lazy. Somebody is an indoor person couch or couch lover hugger. He will be like that. He's not going to be an outdoor tomorrow if you marry him or you marry her, and so forth. So that concept Oh, somebody like for example, many times I have to counsel a chef, she's not wearing hijab, but when you when you marry her, she was not wearing a hijab while you're now making a big deal out of it. I thought she was going to change.
That's not fair.
He doesn't pray type hefty hefty. D you know, don't my daughter my ne Binti, did you know that he wasn't praying before he married him? Yes, but I thought he's going to change.
You know he's mentally out
As a mental problem type do you know I thought he's going to change.
So does not, there's no such thing gonna change in real good look for the right person. So please stop saying that just because you want to push someone on the throat of your daughters and just give them that deceive them by telling them or your son, Ill they will change now because the one will suffer later on, or the couple who married each others. Also another misconceptions I found a lot about you when it comes to choosing the person. I want to choose someone different than me.
What do you mean? You know, I'm not religious, I'm looking for a super duper religious woman.
You know, I am a person who is very, very bad with money. I'm very stingy. You know, I know you're like I'm so tight. I go marry someone who's super generous woman. I can tell you, that's a recipe for failure.
You need not a spouse, you need a therapist.
Your spouse, not your therapist. Okay, go look for a therapist, to help you to fix yourself. Not look for a wife or a husband. So believe me the more compatibility the more successful your marriages. Any big huge difference between you guys in these areas? It's a recipe for failure. Or at least a very hard marriage. Struggle.
No other misconceptions a lot of people only focus on the outs.
Sight. The beauty how handsome he is how beautiful she is. Some people build their muscles burned their body build this build the carrier but what's really mattered the oldest unimportant marriage by the way, that's another misconception people don't think look matter no look matter a lot for men and for a woman.
Okay, that's absolutely 100% But what's more important than that, my dear brothers and sisters is what is this person from inside looks like?
As much as he tried to polish yourself from outside you need to develop yourself from insight.
Because then what really mattered the most when you grow up old when anything happened in the marriage.
I still love you for who you are not because how you look only or what is your career is money and beauty can go away.
But love for the person will always remain. May Allah subhanaw taala and founder or yo can be manhood started Allah honey welcome pistol fuel.
And hamdulillah who the host salatu salam ala Milena V about the who have had. Final point I want to make today is there is this concept, especially in the time of engagement and before marriage, that one person fall in love with someone and obsess with that person will always tell themselves this is the only one young love. Young men and women always have this idea. Oh, she's the only one He's the only one I can live with. I'm gonna die if I lose this person. Even though there are so many signs showing the person that this marriage or this not a good match. And it's often ignored just because of that obsession because that excitement.
I know some of you are older and such chef
it's too late now.
But it's never too late. That's number one. Number two, and I'm not suggesting anything but you have children you have young cousins, you have family that you can reach out to and you share this these are important crucial information conversation to have with your children. And as early as you can let them hear this from you talk to them about this make sure you raise them they understand don't wait until it's too late.
So this concept of he or she the only one is not true logically by own means. It just an emotional thing. So start to ask an interesting questions. You know and a smart question to the person to widen their horizon because that shows just how narrow the person is thinking. I do believe she is the only one
which is you know my wife because I'm married to her.
He is the only one because he's my husband after a marry him. That's That's right after he married the person. This is the only one I'm going to focus on developing the relationship with but before marriage No, he is like
ain't even on many people like him, I'm better than him, I can guarantee you that there is many woman better than her, unlike her.
But he or she the only one only when you marry. But before marriage don't have this attitude, because it will block you from seeing these red signs and clear signs. And I remember we have a Friday night specifically about this topic.
And finally, my brothers and sisters,
this message for young men and one young woman out there,
your parents are sincere advisor to you.
Please don't fall on to the notion that they don't understand me. They don't know what I am or what I want, you know, or they have nothing to do with my marriage.
You know, no matter how you think they don't understand you they do.
You might not fully 100% but they do a lot. They know way more than you think they are.
Many young men after I became in their 30s, they said,
Now I realize how smart my father was.
He was always smart. But to you that wasn't when he went when you're young, you just can see it.
You know, unfortunately, so as you even look at your age, and now you're 20 years 18 1416 or 13 Look at how you think when he was when you're nine when you're 10 or 12. When you're 15 1719. And as you grow, you see how things different so it's gonna continue like that. I'm not saying parents are perfect. I'm far from being perfect or close to that will make it
but I know that I care so much like all fathers here about my children. I will give you the best advice. I can make you do things but I must give you the advice. So whenever to come to listen to them. Don't just close the door.
Not because this addition come from their side it means it's wrong. Or it's backwards or not not the right person. Just give it a chance. Give it a try. Listen with them with with sincerity.
May Allah subhanaw taala give all of us a happy marriage and grant our children a happy marriage and ask ALLAH SubhanA wa Taala to bless us and our children and our offsprings and to bless our community. I think this is the one thing in our this is one of the things that we should be celebrating and proud of is to be married and to be in the halal lawful relationship.
We ask Allah Subhana Allah to forgive our parents and to forgive our children alone more often than our reality in order to react in a problem as far as you know the reality and Kurata ion Allahumma and then Muslimeen animals to life ENFP my shadow could all do a malati be her Allah my fellow Michelle and Phaeton la Marblehead. I'm in Houma. Butlin, and now I know that you know Eugenia or hamara mean, will Yanina? Fionna sharara nya Gerardo Ekrem also Lila homosocial Amanda and Amina Muhammad Muhammad Salah