Children & The Holiday Season – Friday Night Lights

Waleed Basyouni


Channel: Waleed Basyouni

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Milan hamdu lillah wa salatu salam ala Rasulillah, whether it be women, well that said Amati kumara rahmatullah wa ala careto.

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I apologize for starting late, I actually had a flat tire. So I was like, hard to put in and stuff like that. So it was late. But to him, the love for everything from the lie had Omar to help me.

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Today, I would like to speak to you about

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a topic that I cover in one of my courses, the course is about the fifth ruling relating to children. And I don't mean by children, babies, but also young men and a woman, that teenagers go to school. And I would lie in this course, I address several areas. But the area that I would like to share with you tonight, is related to

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celebrations and holidays, especially as the

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holiday season is about to start, you know, October is starting. And from now all the way until the end of December or January, there's a lot of holidays, a lot of occasions, a lot of no breaks. And this will cover all type of celebrations old type of holidays. And I will talk about it in a little bit more academic approach, and also practical. So I want you to understand

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the flip the Slavic ruling and perspective

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of the rules as we learn the rules themselves. And I will I will make my lecture to you tonight in the form of questions and answers. So these are the common questions and they get about celebrations. And I rank them based on how often these slumps question I received. It also I will open the floor for you guys to add your own concerns and questions as well. One of the most common question that I get is about celebrating birthdays.

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Any year to know how many times every maybe week or month, people asked me and people look online and people want to know, is it permissible to have a birthday parties and to give birthday gifts? Okay,

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celebrating a birthday of someone? Okay? Is something new in Islam? Yenni. If you look at traditional books of pet and Islamic ruling, they don't talk about that because the whole concept of

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the cat.

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It's okay. Because the whole concept of celebrating a birthday is a new concept is a new concept. So the contemporary scholars, the modern scholars have a split. Some of them said it is allowed and permissible. And some of them said is not it's not permissible for someone to celebrate a birthday and you might find this as you might some of you sounds weird, strange. But you know what, that's actually a very common opinion and online and in many people who make a quick research that the first thing that they might land on. So let's see, those who see say it is permissible and those who say it's not permissible. The one who said it's permissible they said it is permissible because

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celebrating birthday is a cultural practice who am in allowed that and we have a rule in Islam. I'll also fill it in fill out that I'll EBA the default rules that anything that has to do with culture not religion is permissible.

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I don't need a proof to tell me that you know what it's allowed to wear black and white.

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It's a cultural thing I want to wear this type of clothes, I want to wear shirt, I want to wing long sleeves, all in aware, this type of the style of hijab these are all culture thing is not part of the religion. So what to eat games you know, I don't need a proof to tell me basketball has had on the default rules, all these colors all these games all these kinds of activity things part of our culture part of we do not as a form of religious

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practices. The default rules is halal unless you prove otherwise. Unless the practice of them says no, this thing is recommended.

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Like for example, it's a culture to grow the beard

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Islam came in Ibiza Salam said Grow your beard he made an order. So this is not culture anymore it became a religious duty

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it's a culture to cover and certain culture the cover, but it is then came my woman must not show there out you see some became the hijab is not a culture anymore it became a must. So here we say that these are those elements that it is that its product of the customer or the culture of the people. And it become a commonly accepted commonly practice between Muslims. So it isn't built anymore anymore. Celebrating birthday is not anymore. Something that that distinguished to belong to a certain group.

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Any it's not something that only Christian do, or only Jews do or only Hindus do. It is cross cultures. Okay. And Muslims celebrate birthday today, as many as the non Muslims in the Muslim country, it became so common.

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So they said, that's basically number one.

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Those who said no, it's not allowed. And that's the argument those who sit is not allowed. They base their argument or position on three principles.

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Principle number one, they said that this culture came from the practice of non muscles, Muslims through history, never knew birthday celebrations. It's only became from non Muslim culture they brought it and that's why they put all these candles make a wish. Blah, blah, blah. So the cert in Nabi SallAllahu sallam said, Whoever imitates someone, he is like that person. And that's why we're not allowed to imitate those who are not Muslims in their culture. Okay, so that's why we should not do the celebration of birthday. That's number one. Number two, principle number two, they said in the be Salam SallAllahu sallam said there is only two aids in Islam, two celebrations in Islam

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to what celebration Islam

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which is a then filter and Adel Al, what's the end? What's the word read means aid, it means something comes back comes from the word the ad which is returned. So Alene is something that you do and every time you go back to it every month or every week or every year, okay? or something or a place that you have to go back every time you want to do that. So Mathematica is the eighth why out of his eight why because every time you have to make hedge you have to go back to the same place.

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So that's a lead it's a place a McCann

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or a time every time Ramadan. We do this every time on Friday we do this every time and in return for the of the end of Ramadan we celebrate so that's why you call that eat. So they said in Episode Salam said there is only to read in this now.

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What are they? He said he said April 5 would agree that and he said look why the process of him said this hadith if you had it Anasazi Allah and that didn't be so solemn came to Medina and he found the people of Medina celebrating the young kids celebrating and playing he said what's the celebration for this and these are two days the people of Medina celebrate like happy days but you know, then in Nabi SallAllahu sallam said Allah have replaced you with better which is legal football and read and other reports. I mean they will so they said if celebration in general allowed in Ibiza Salam wa wouldn't tell the people of Medina don't celebrate these days two days and replace them with a

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little further Rahila and it's sufficient for you. So they said the same thing for us should be sufficient only to celebrate rhythm

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number three I was instead also because if you celebrate too many reads read that often in the photo became something not special anymore.

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Number three they said celebrating birthday always contain haram stuff. Like what mixing between men and woman music's you know, making a wish you know, and that's like bad luck, good luck, wasting money and all this waste and food and all this kind of stuff. Like they said

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some people will even take loans, credit card debt, just to celebrate birthday and to keep up with birthdays.

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These are the three principles that the builder argument synthesis like I don't attend into a class but it's a good sometimes to entertain a stimulate your your FIP skills

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your your your ability to understand and analyze the rules how the scholars look at the rules.

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What do you guys think? Let's, let's analyze what the third fifth second group said. Okay, second group set

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number one,

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claiming that this is an imitating to non Muslim. Imitating non Muslim. We don't agree with you Why yes, it started in non Muslim country, but it became so common in a Muslim country. It's like somebody's telling me today wearing pants is haram why pants jeans and stuff like that that starts a non Muslim country

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I bet you anything crypto. So my brothers don't get mad at me. Yeah, maybe it started in Hindu culture

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and Chinese culture

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and it became so common among Muslims.

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I can tell you so many things like that.

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That did start among the Muslim and became common among Muslims.

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So nobody will say Oh, is haram, the site you agree with me? So to claim to this is imitating is not imitating actually, it is something so common. Number one, number two, we say that if you sing it's emitted. It's imitating the non Muslim and things which is not religious. And it's allowed. It's like me taking iPhone Yeah, and the iPhone.

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Mr. Tim Apple, if somebody knows what that joke means, you know, Tim, or Apple or Steve Job is a Muslim

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company you know, I can say millions of things that we do every day and we use and we basically imitate them and it which is halal 100% Because it's not a religious things what's not allowed what's not allowed is to imitate them into area one and religious spirit not allowed to call for Salah using the bell

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like the church do

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not about not allowed to for example to for the Imam let's make our shoe distinguish

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what do you suggest I suggest we give you a white collar like the priests and Catholic

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that's not allowed.

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You see so anything like that also not allowed to imitate non Muslim in something non religious if it is only known to them

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I can give you another example about religious things like the Himachal foetida juice the little hat that they put that's very distinguished the nun the way they dress not allowed for Muslims to wear that Hindu priests you know you got like the ashes or the you know the duck the red dot these are religious things clear not allowed to do they What about non religious things they said if it is very only then doing it or only then and the facade of the Muslims do that the bad door wrong doors Muslims like for example if there is

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I don't know if I will, I should say

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let's assume

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there is a certain type of clothing

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let's say

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it's a Lady Gaga dress

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Yeah, that's her dress hairstyle.

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Side don't know anything about that there's I'm making this up. Okay, just for the record. Okay, I'm making this like this is only something that you know what that's Oh, that's this non Muslim woman guy that's her and a Muslim aware that will be haram for her

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are a Muslim. You know what, this is the only one person in the world you know, only then you make a spike here

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it's my Allah which is never gonna happen because his hairstyle is not the same as my son would say. I'm going to have a spike here Baba isn't allowed. Like in the middle like punk like you

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can't do that Oromo yet out. I mean, we're not allowed. Why? Because that's only known to be practiced by Muslim or a Muslim who is doing it to imitate them.

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You following

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okay. So, when it becomes sub some things, certain things are

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enclose certain styles it became in the beginning now a lot and after it became so commonly practiced it became allowed the Remus okay

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what can be some countries different than others some culture but I'm talking about us here in the west. So we say it birthdays numbers case birthday is a very common practice for a good Muslim Muslim around the world. They they said what about the process and said no to eat in nebi Salah was talking about religious eats

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but you might say how did you know chef what he does religiously? Because the argument didn't the process and until the people of Medina don't celebrate this story two days

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maybe these two days in Medina were not religious yet and maybe so Salam said no, that's possibility but also there is another possibility that the people of Medina celebrate these two days as a form of their rituals on a bad diet that they used to do before Islam. While we have a rule a delivery that doesn't work in a in a man bipolar behaviors tiddler.

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When we have an ambiguous delene Proof evidence not clear you can take it as a solid evidence so that to tell me that yes there is possibility that these two days in Medina were just a cultural thing and also there was a possibility they were religious things so you cannot use it this way or that way.

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Also in the case of Solomon he said to Reed's in the midst of Saddam has another meaning which is no need in a general sense. Yeah. And he celebrated in a general manners Yeah, and he wouldn't be so Saddam said only to read in Islam and and for the better of her question. Isn't Friday eight?

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Yes, this is alpha eight Yes.

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They now we have four

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shukan is Accola. Now we have four eggs

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and maybe some securities now I just mentioned do four eighths

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isn't Ramadan? A? Yes.

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They will. So that means we have to be understand. We have to rethink what it means to celebrate when in the business are two reads. So some of the scholars said he meant by to eat Yeah. And he to eat that celebrated in a general sense by the Ummah at large by the Muslim ummah at large and that's true because out of us not celebrated by everybody Jomar every community by themselves but eat ramen and photo something all of us come together around and he said birthday is not something general it's a very personal so does not even is not related to the Hadith when he said to leaves because he talks about AIDS is celebrated in a larger skills by the Ummah as a whole is that clear?

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So that's how they basically answer this

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another point they meant that it was mentioned be said because it contained haram stuff and I'll teach us something important and fifth which the common sense

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this haram stuff that they talk about have been in in celebrating birthdays

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or the integral of the celebrating of the birthday or became being separated from each other

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and he can we have birthday without all this haram stuff without music without ens mixing between men and women and dancing without the kissing without them making a wish. Can we make the absurd method without that? Yes, I'm Muslim Muslim, don't do this. Don't do that. Actually, a lot of Muslim do that without this.

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Okay. So we say all was this is the rules. If there is two things we can split them from each other either Cannington jamun FATCA can come *a

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if we can split this to two site, this is how the rules this has little so we say the mixing the music The wish is not a lot. But this is not doing that celebrating in itself.

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Is that clear? So we say if you're going to do a Brit nation free from all these things, but if you cannot do the celebrator without this, in this case became part of it. So it became haram make it which is not the case here. type check any it looks like you lean towards it's halal.

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I say it is allowed with the following guidelines. Not I don't give any free credit check. I think celebrating birthdays is allowed with the following guidelines. Number one

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You're not allowed to celebrate it in the same manners, the way we celebrate either of Heineken football, not only in a general sense now, but also in a religious thing there is people religiously have to have a birthday. And if you don't celebrate the birthday in the same exact day, as if you're any This is international COBOL.

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And if you had a little question, yeah, I need some unbeli i This is became like a major sin

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ngulia. That's why sometimes one year I purposely make a show with there's no birthday on when you're at that scan, so you don't feel like it is must and have to.

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Because we can say you know what, 2024 no hidden photo. Can we do that?

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Because I understand that those who said, a general sense and more private matters. That's one area but also another area to bar. Another area that an EAD is something must happen, no matter what happened, we have to have individual even when COVID had we had either forgotten it at all.

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That's right.

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Don't treat your own in it. And you're all celebrations in the same manner, we treated the rainbow from February. That's part of what I understand from the process I'm set to it means for us at least not yet. I need to we need to have that level. Untouchable unchangeable, must be exist. And you cannot treat any occasion like the we were treated for the order religious aids in Islam. Another guidelines I have for that

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is in relation to the same concept. To get out of this problem, one of the thing that I recommend for you, you don't have to be in the same exact day. And it's sometimes you might celebrate the ain't the birthday a day before on day after some years doesn't matter. For me, sometimes I do the kids, hey, what if we do TGT calendar

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I get you guys older a little bit faster. But sometimes they get greedy. They want to do it in history and Google Gregorian calendar. So they doubled the gifts with the Zork. So you know, sometimes you might change a little bit, so they don't feel it is the exact same day every time. And he and I recommend that but I'm not saying it as must also, there is another guidelines for me very important.

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Don't treat your kids don't teach your kids that birthday is more important than eat.

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And a lot of Muslim kids birthday for them is more important more fun than reading of an ADA photo. I make this as a point. I never give my kids the big gifts in their birthday.

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Their big gifts and eat it off honey, the photo. So the always looking forward for a little open ended I'll have like sometimes kids said, I'm gonna have this for my birthday. No, you're gonna have it in your Aiden photo.

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Because it's *ty, I want that status of read the photo of her in a very high level. And we have to keep it that way. We don't want anything to take them away from this that special occasion either for them either. That's why something so important even for yourself in your own birthday. Make sure that you all the celebration rate

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is much much higher, much bigger, more rewarding than any other ones. Another guidelines, please, I don't think he should do the Excel. The issue of limitation we can reduce that by either need to do the exact same way they do it you have to put the exact same number of you know candles and blow the candles and all this kind of stuff. You don't have to do that everything. Just you know birthday and there's a number of the number of years whatever. Sometimes you do it sometimes you say you don't be very strict about it. It will be a better than there is also another thing I want to cite is

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which is something I don't know how you guys feel about that.

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I think it's important for birthdays for us as a community to take a break a little bit.

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Shift. It's a budget

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is not about your own kids. It's about the kids in the schools.

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The kids and neighbors or relatives.

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Yet how many cousin's birthday? How many kids in the school have birthday your invite every time you're invited to birthday? We have to bring what

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a gift. It became a budget.

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And I'm serious. This is became an M many parents have told me that it became a burden sometimes

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Majan if there are five kids, yet Oh,

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their birthday Mashallah. And they come in different months. So if there is a budget for every month, then not only that their cousin not only that their friends and their friends and schools and and it became you know what they came in to give me a gift, I have to give them a gift and it became something that of burden. So one of the thing I want to say that let's do some practices of some way where we can make it these I know nobody asked for a gift, but don't expect when you invite someone that they will feel like I come empty handed, most of the people I will see say no gifts, or no gifts more than $20

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or $10, whatever it is.

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Any let's tell each other a little bit about that. And we don't make it to feel like it has became an obligations or gifts and because I can tell you that it became a little bit of a burden for people.

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another issue. Before we move I know it took too much time. But another issue I want to talk to you about

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what about if I have non Muslim family or friends or neighbors

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who's celebrating birthday?

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A mile allowed to give them gifts and their celebrations of birthdays.

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See, this is much easier than the first one why?

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Because both groups those who don't believe in celebrating birthdays. And those who believe it is a lot to those who believe it's a lot to celebrate birthday will tell you what it's allowed to give a gifts

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to each of those are two numbers by but those who said not allowed to celebrate birthday also fit from fifth perspective.

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They should not have a problem with you giving gift to your cousins or not Muslims or in laws or non Muslims, you know, or your friend was not Muslim in their birthday.

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Why? Because our Islamic rules don't apply to them.

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And what the doing in itself inherently is not sure could cover

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it's part of their culture. So it's allowed for you to give them a gift. Give them a gift and it's actually something could be and good manners and something make you more acceptable from the make you are a person that they love and they respect and they listen to and we might be even open for a conversation about Islam. Okay, they chef

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Am I allowed to let my kids go to a non Muslims birthday parties.

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If you're gonna do that you have to watch out you have to educate your kid depends. Like if you have a son who's 1516

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Okay, you or for 10 is different age 1819 29 A 20 is like an ask you or 19 But let's say 17 in a 16 Gotta go to birthday you make sure that you educate them for example about drinking

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about you know, the issue of mixing and then like issue of you know, if there is like party content haram stuff, food which is not allowed for you to eat and all these things you have to educate your children about the what if there is a drinking there

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if it is a drinking there and they are not relative to you you're not allowed to go period

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the what of this is my cousin would have this is my you know my first cousin or my uncle

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and that is a drinking drink wine the family you know what if this is my brother's birthday, what I do I say you go and you limit your participation number one you're not allowed to serve alcohol. Number two, you're not obviously to consume it or to help and providing it or to sit on a table on it unless it is a big table let's say they have a dinner or something about and this is like an immediate family a father a mother a brother a sister and you think that is a must lahat there is a benefit for your existence there that it might open the door for them in the future. Hopefully that they see you as someone that we can trust we can talk we can consider even Islam consider what you

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believe in in the future.

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But if you think you know what makes us another exists that I can come on another day. In this case don't go there is no benefit of MIKO at all. No muss lot don't go because that's a something haram to be witness. What Levine and ash had was Zoo. They will not witness a zoo which is the Haram okay. So I differentiate between these two. That's why if your friends invite you, but be drink

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what should I do?

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If you're going to be with your friend and backyard playing in the room and you're not going to be mixing with them sitting with the people who are drinking let's go back to the other that muscle had the benefit and it's safe yes it is allowed. I'm talking about an interactive like you you're on brother you're on mom you're on birthday and they have wine and stuff like that. This is where I basically say you can participate but you don't serve the alcohol you don't participate in buying it or gifting it to them and also the same time you can you know, just avoid being like in the same give the drinking or saliva you can wait until the finish then after that you can have a

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conversation on them. Like

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is it allowed for us to wrap the gifts put them out for display and exchange them on the screen just like people doing Christmas

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wrapping the gifts apart of the cultures I don't see any problem with it.

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But the only problem will that I that as as a concept the only problem I see with it is wasting money

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some of these robbing gifts can be very expensive

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you can assemble that robbing gift can be 678 dollars and it only takes with my kids one seconds two and a half seconds

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done on his trash. So at least if you're going to use this Don't waste your money

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we are Muslim have more value we have we values not about being stingy but value that and if you're going to use it make sure to recycle it

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also so it's a please there is a benefit of of it. Okay, so that's something that I will consider Yes, there is a benefit of wrapping it make it more excited more happy, you know more respectful to people but you're not allowed to do it in a manners which is like the non Muslim that Christian like what you put one when the Christmas decorations not a lot even if it's insanely heavy after Christmas. You're not allowed to bite

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cheap I'm gonna go Santa Claus and all this kind of stuff in a you know or like Halloween stuff. You don't know how to do that.

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Okay, don't buy that one too. I was seeing some pictures when I was teaching. Some people show me Muslims. They bring all the gifts and they bring a palm tree and they put it underneath the palm tree or a Christmas tree. Danny Lee estimize it they put a palm tree. Yeah, that's not a lot.

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That also not a lot that's clear imitation of thing that only because even believe somebody's going to come bless it or something like that. That's not allowed to do that. You got it. Is it permissible to decorate the house with lights and others decor for eat or when they are happy celebrate Yes, almost as long as this not wasting time and wasting money. Any that is overdoing it and wasting a lot of money for it. But showing the happiness of aid and putting lights and specially like you know, led very cheap like when it comes to electricity. It is something that showing happiness for eat is something that is recommended in a snap in nebi Salah salem said let them

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celebrate let them have us the doof which is some instrument making noise he's in ye so the people around us know that enroll in our religion. There is also celebration in Nephi Dean in office. So it is meant to show happiness to show celebration to show joy. That's something that Islam wants us to show it to others. So I will never forget our brother lives on the other side of town.

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In sign that area, you know in Sugarland area, actually, in his neighborhood, every IT people know it's how he bring moonwalk in front of his house, you know, and his wife makes a mixed very good use of barbecue and she makes a lot of good cookies. So what she does, she put a very big this one, walk outside and invite all the kids in the neighborhood to come. And she makes cookies she makes bird dogs burgers free. Man, the whole entire neighborhood celebrity with her, ya know, and decorations and bring clown and shows and the burn frontyard. She's really spent so much time and effort for it. Everybody loves it.

00:34:30--> 00:34:42

And I think what she will be doing what we've been asked to show us muscle in Episode Seven said to the Sahaba show the non Muslim universal Medina that we celebrate eight. It is fun.

00:34:44--> 00:34:52

So this is something that we can learn from and think about, you know, to show about celebration.

00:34:53--> 00:34:55

When you give gifts and eat

00:34:56--> 00:34:59

and eat and or in happy occasion to your children.

00:35:01--> 00:35:09

What's the ruling on giving different gifts to children based on their age? More expensive valuable for older children? For example?

00:35:10--> 00:35:14

What if I want to give money? Do I have to give all of them the same?

00:35:15--> 00:35:31

Not sure if my daughter summer here. And I should have said Yes, Mama. Absolutely. Yeah now, or we based on their age like, do I need to give like $100 for someone in high school, I should do the same to elementary school, what do they got going on?

00:35:33--> 00:35:38

When you get a gift, like if your dad give you $50, he shouldn't give you you have you have younger or older.

00:35:40--> 00:35:43

Both, they should all the same, or you think

00:35:46--> 00:35:47

like your little one

00:35:48--> 00:35:51

little sibling should be getting the same amount of money you get.

00:35:53--> 00:35:56

Now you should get more. I'm very okay.

00:35:58--> 00:35:59


00:36:00--> 00:36:00


00:36:02--> 00:36:21

some of that amount like Heidi Rahimullah. And pa who's admitted in one ration and remove theory and a grid skabe Sofia 13 grid scale called Power walls. And this happened not only in some Malkia said, when you give a gift you must give equally to kids.

00:36:23--> 00:36:32

Some of them said you must give equally that it is given. And if you don't give it equally, okay, if you don't give it equally,

00:36:33--> 00:36:34

that gift is invalid.

00:36:37--> 00:36:39

You shouldn't go back and make them equal.

00:36:42--> 00:36:48

Abu Yusuf which is the suit of Abu Hanifa said, You must give it equal,

00:36:49--> 00:37:00

oh only Yanni in the case, if you don't give equally for the purpose of punishment, Yanni and I'm not happy with my son EUSA

00:37:01--> 00:37:13

so I want to punish him dizzy. So I give my other son 100 And I gave him 50 This is because you're not doing good. Because I don't because you're not been behaving by good you cannot do that.

00:37:14--> 00:37:26

Hello Africa Abu Yusuf when he said that because you know what, the Eid which is supposed to be a source of happiness now became a source of what pain and anger and you know when I said that with REITs

00:37:29--> 00:37:37

and also in general he said you not allowed to do that, you know, because you you want to harm them.

00:37:39--> 00:38:16

But if not, this is the intention you're allowed to give different gifts based on the age and I agree with that. You cannot tell me that someone was like two months old getting the same amount of money that somebody who is 10 years or 15 years or 18 1716 cannot make it it's not correct doesn't go with the with the principles those sort they the vast majority of the Muslims jurist the mudroom Lord said give the kids equal amount of money is only recommended is not must

00:38:18--> 00:38:21

only it was I finished this tablet only recommended

00:38:22--> 00:38:29

what the proof that the people used to see it must and what's the proof of the Senate it's recommended the same proof

00:38:30--> 00:38:39

the same Hadith both used to establish their position. What's the Hadith for Buhari yo Muslim and Nabi sallallahu alayhi wa sallam

00:38:41--> 00:39:04

one of the Sahaba and in Bashir came in he said Yara salah I have given a gift to one of my kitchen. He said did you give them all the same? He said no. in Ibiza Salam said I go back in Nila eyeshadow, Allah Joel. I will not witness over unjustice This is unjustified This is not just not fair, which he did get out.

00:39:06--> 00:39:21

Okay, so they said since then they'd be so solid and refused to anything this unjust and this and we know unfairness our arms act to do something unjustly or not just are not fair is not allowed. So that's the proof those who said you must make it equal.

00:39:23--> 00:39:35

Those who said they not have to make equal. They said didn't be so solid when he said I will not witness this. He said in the oven or if it took military wire. He said Sal Allah the audio Salam.

00:39:37--> 00:39:40

He said, Kyla ash in the La Jolla. He

00:39:42--> 00:39:46

said I'm not going to witness that. See someone else to witness it.

00:39:47--> 00:39:53

So since the process of them said, see someone else to witness it, but I'm not going to witness it. It's allowed.

00:39:54--> 00:39:58

But I'm not going to be part of that because that's not the best way.

00:39:59--> 00:40:00

If it's

00:40:00--> 00:40:04

Tom he will set don't do it no all shouldn't witness it at all.

00:40:05--> 00:40:18

The C word of the debate is based on how you basically this narration they said and maybe sell some of them a mentor prevented to prevent him to just hit the annual bill. He didn't mean to say It's haram.

00:40:19--> 00:41:05

By if we say equal what do we mean by equal boys and girls the same thing? Something random that said no, it is the same way male off so the boy is double and the girl is one, the only one to two. But this opinion okay mentioned by Mohammed bin Hassan che Barney and US HOPWA one ratio, but in my opinion, this opinion is weak. And the other opinion, which is Maduro too convenient for Bala Hamel Allah said no, boys and girls out of the same. I'm not just saying that for the sake of being like a cool chef or like no, because it'd be so awesome. So we'll be now now you can fill out the year.

00:41:06--> 00:41:14

And they'll be so some said, make the gift your children equal. And he said children he did not say boys, girls, all children.

00:41:15--> 00:41:23

And Vichy when he said that he said have many kids is of 10. He said did you give them all of a sudden he said no, I did not differentiate between men and women selasa

00:41:24--> 00:41:35

or boys and girls. So they shouldn't be giving all the same. They sometimes you give gifts that it is suitable to the type. Like for example.

00:41:36--> 00:41:49

If now, me and my son were talking on the way here about cars, what if my son tomorrow, I hope he doesn't get this idea. In his head. He comes to me and said Baba, I need a call.

00:41:52--> 00:41:55

You know one of the things that I try my best to delay

00:41:56--> 00:41:59

that my kids have this My advice to you.

00:42:00--> 00:42:02

Don't let them get driver license.

00:42:04--> 00:42:07

Because driver license is not a license to drive.

00:42:09--> 00:42:10

It's a license for car.

00:42:11--> 00:42:13

That's what it says

00:42:14--> 00:42:17

they get a license. The girls get a license means I want to add

00:42:18--> 00:42:30

a car. What are driverless for what for a car is not to leisten drivers. So be careful. Anyway, so he said come to you. And he said you know, Bob, I want a car.

00:42:32--> 00:42:35

But what about my daughter? serine do I need to get on a car now?

00:42:37--> 00:42:37

She doesn't.

00:42:39--> 00:42:43

I hope so. You she you know she's 13 She doesn't drive?

00:42:45--> 00:43:00

What I do, how can you make it equal? When your daughter became in his age and became eligible to drive and she asked you and you have the ability you should also make sure you get in a car.

00:43:03--> 00:43:04

You be fair with all of them.

00:43:06--> 00:43:21

You for you follow the concept. That's what it means to be fair with your children. addley member Hamid Rahim Allah have mentioned that specifically a new Kuhlmann UNESCO based on your type Yaffe, one of my one of my kids love

00:43:23--> 00:43:24


00:43:25--> 00:43:29

And honor my kids allergic to cheese.

00:43:31--> 00:43:33

No cheese cake with Benadryl.

00:43:35--> 00:43:45

You have to read it because it's fairly active. Yet it is not like the same everybody has an indifferent interest. So based on the interest

00:43:47--> 00:43:47


00:43:49--> 00:44:02

how can you explain to me Yes. Did I answer your question? How can I teach my explain to my kids the concept of Christmas and how he shouldn't deal with it in school and with friends.

00:44:04--> 00:44:04

Number one,

00:44:05--> 00:44:44

I want to make sure that you understand Christmas no matter what people in my opinion, at least until today is still a very significant leap seen as a religious celebration is not a culture yes that is part of its culture but it is still a religious celebration. So we don't celebrate it as Muslim and it's such a shame when you see Muslim putting a tree and you know celebrating Christmas and stuff like that. Let's know that I mean I know that that is haram Allah smart Allah says Wilma and Amina and mushy keen I'm not from the machine again I don't do when they do they don't practice like they made a worship Allah like that. I don't do my religion the way they do urge in me so Psalm

00:44:44--> 00:44:59

said you are doing them and how that digital community Valarie whether you are doing them and had the law also that he cannot ever show that love and support to anything that Schofer like the concept Jesus son of God or Buddha is God or anything of that nature.

00:45:00--> 00:45:16

They what I do what tuition Adams saying this because there's young people on this gathering and also this apply by the way to Halloween apply also to any religious Easter it inhibits Christmas is very distinguished very different

00:45:17--> 00:45:25

one thing we need to learn and we need to look to teach our children and I want young Muslim to hear me out all young brothers sisters Hear me out.

00:45:26--> 00:45:30

Be proud of lecom Dino Camillia de

00:45:32--> 00:45:38

you have to understand and to memorize this you have your religion and I have my religion

00:45:40--> 00:45:42

it is you and me

00:45:44--> 00:45:46

I'm not you versus me.

00:45:48--> 00:45:51

Now it's an it's not you on Well, it's not me on me.

00:45:53--> 00:45:55

You have your religion on my religion.

00:45:56--> 00:46:16

You celebrated you do it he this is part of your practice this part of your culture, this part of your deen it's not part of mine. And I have to stand firm into this. I can't lose my dean over this I can't just you know became a blurry line that asserted things you would lie in his drawl. And one of them is still heat.

00:46:18--> 00:46:36

I came to accept the concept that you know what I celebrate in any form of race shape or close to that the concept of Jesus son of God? No, but you know what? I respect your religion. I respect your celebration. I suspect you this for you. And but this is not something I celebrate.

00:46:37--> 00:46:38


00:46:39--> 00:46:51

it is important at this point, especially with young children. Please talk to them about the content of their hate. Why eternity is not a slight why treat is wrong from our previous Muslims.

00:46:52--> 00:47:00

excellent time to speak about the concept of tohave and Trent. Hear it from me. Take it from your brother.

00:47:01--> 00:47:02


00:47:05--> 00:47:08

Don't take the heat for granted.

00:47:09--> 00:47:57

Don't think your children like you. Many parents have risen and grow up in a different time where their Eman their foundation of Eman is unshakable. No matter how much they fall no matter how much they send, that is safety net. The young generations do not have a safety net no matter how religious they are. Now, realize how religious you are or your or your parents are. There is no such critical safety net and most of the cases it's a freefall of the fall we freefall. So make sure you inserted taught from an early age about the dough heat about Allah, that Allah is not a human being Allah has no son, Allah has no partner. I don't need to hear that. I don't need to be reminded of

00:47:57--> 00:48:03

that. That's so part of who I am. It's part of my DNA. But that's not the case with my kids. I know that

00:48:05--> 00:48:09

the kids will tell you why God cannot have a son. Don't get too angry.

00:48:11--> 00:48:12

Explain to him why.

00:48:15--> 00:48:20

Why do we don't believe in turn, why we don't believe that Christianity today have changed.

00:48:22--> 00:48:30

That's an excellent opportunity for you. Also, please, let's teach our kids to respect other people's

00:48:31--> 00:48:34

and to respect what they have.

00:48:35--> 00:48:41

Let them do my religion. And that's it. And that space kept when it comes to the religion

00:48:42--> 00:49:09

because sometimes, especially in circles, we became more locking using language was not respectful about others. That's not correct. And we should not teach them that to be disrespectful to other in Ibiza Salam when hear from people not Christian to Jews, people pagans. He treated them with respect. He listened to them. He talked to them. Ha ferrata a bit worried you let you finish from what you want to say. Can you hear me up?

00:49:10--> 00:49:12

And he explained to him what he believes it.

00:49:14--> 00:49:19

They also make sure that our kids

00:49:20--> 00:49:24

don't turn out not in Bukit not supposed to be Ahmed Deedat at school

00:49:26--> 00:49:30

or Zakir Naik at school debating everybody.

00:49:32--> 00:50:00

You don't go to school to debate everyone on him became a debater. Make sure he knows how to carry a conversation, but I'm not looking for to debate people to stop by them. And I'll tell you many kids, I asked my kids this a lot, especially the older kids, they told me Baba, you know, the moment we start interacting and the see how, you know, we we practice and what we do the

00:50:00--> 00:50:11

Is this a curious okay what about this? What about that they asked you and he explained to me that you knew it you need to know how to explain to them but if he never taught your kids they still hate the not gonna be able to explain it so he does

00:50:14--> 00:50:31

and it's Paola this create curiosity from them to add even sometimes they copy what you say in sha Allah Ma sha Allah you know my son use of give you guys some he was asking me about Friday Night Lights in a he's he he moved to us as period short period of time to Spain

00:50:33--> 00:50:37

so he was telling me you know the school that he's in all of the board isn't

00:50:38--> 00:50:46

is it most of the kids now say all this is how long? Why because there's like four or five Muslims in the group some big slick

00:50:47--> 00:51:21

it's a soccer academy. So most of the kids there they keep saying you know then awesome majority but there's four or five Muslim there so they learn Nate Oh, that's haram we don't do that. That's halal. You know so he said he really became funny like when they won the play FIFA and you know somebody can do like something like follow someone he said that's around it now they became like involved that culture Muslims wrap them quickly. So what I'm trying to say here you know so many sisters they didn't even start the conversation

00:51:22--> 00:51:56

it just people to watch while you were to conjure up oh what's Islam What's this? And a lot of people became curious on what many people will make kids will come to the messages to pray to see how Muslim pray so make sure that you basically I had them come out how many times I'm gonna come in and tell you I mean the brothers here telling me so many times about how just friends and people and colleagues became interested because the way b but when the CEU distinguish but if you became a me and do the same thing I'm not curious to know what you have

00:51:58--> 00:52:02

vi do everything you do what's the point? That is no different between me and you?

00:52:03--> 00:52:09

But what get people curiosity Wouldn't they know the job principles and breaks and now I don't do that I'm Muslim.

00:52:11--> 00:52:12

Also I want to say

00:52:14--> 00:52:32

celebrating Christmas that doesn't mean that you don't wish for example any many times when people especially have some people relevant or related to me you know muscles when you celebrate Christmas what you can do you know what are your neighbors? I really wish you a very happy time with your family

00:52:34--> 00:53:03

a phrase like this there is nothing wrong with it at all. Because what you are most people in America today when the Christmas for them it's a good time for family to come together not about that religious concept. So you specifically mentioned this and if that's what you mean by say I wish a very good time with your family you know have a happy holiday with your family you know wishing to kind of any words in that concept that is allowed it is allowed?

00:53:05--> 00:53:06

I do have

00:53:08--> 00:53:12

I'm not comfortable with using the word Merry Christmas

00:53:14--> 00:53:21

I'm not comfortable with using this terms for Muslims because it has a religious connotation to it.

00:53:22--> 00:53:38

You know, so I think you should replace it and we have an M Jaffa to adolescence so you can say Happy Holiday happy this somebody's telling you hey Merry Christmas you don't get you don't need to give him a lecture by the way I don't celebrate Christmas I don't believe in heavy it's it's a drive thru in Starbucks.

00:53:39--> 00:53:46

Okay, yeah, it's just a cashier and you know, Marshall there's a long line here now I don't need the lecture have

00:53:48--> 00:53:50

to turn it to me and debate like hits.

00:53:51--> 00:54:04

But you know, somebody's telling you that they think you you didn't need to be on the routes that item celebrity crush was even ask you to celebrate his slim in episode. No problem. Thank him. There is a time for you. Oh, he gets a request for $9

00:54:06--> 00:54:07


00:54:08--> 00:54:14

because somebody will feel that there is less duty that I have to do someone tell me Merry Christmas. I have to tell I don't celebrate Christmas.

00:54:16--> 00:54:32

Thank you for you being nice. Thank you any interesting as a compliment. He's not trying to convert you to Christianity. So don't take it any too. Too much too far than what it is really is. That makes sense. Okay.

00:54:33--> 00:54:35

Also what have you give me a gift?

00:54:37--> 00:54:49

Any religious gift to not allow somebody give me a Christmas store as a cross or not allowed to accept you see, kindly you're a candidate. But what if it's not only somebody gives you a gift on Christmas?

00:54:51--> 00:54:59

I do believe you're allowed to receive it. Because receiving it. It does not mean to me that you are actively participating in it.

00:55:00--> 00:55:02

The celebration of it like your

00:55:03--> 00:55:06

mother in law father in law somebody gives you a thank

00:55:08--> 00:55:17

you know they know they don't celebrate but it's a gift for them it's a happy occasion for them that's why they give it to you. And there is no religious significance in the gift in itself and its nature

00:55:18--> 00:55:40

to what about me giving them a gift if you give them a gift during Christmas that's participating in celebrating Christmas and I don't believe it's allowed but what you can do you can give it before or after you know around the holiday you know, hey, the holidays come end of the year happy new year I want to give you a gift

00:55:41--> 00:55:45

and you know what? I tell my son My in laws

00:55:46--> 00:55:51

you know, you guys give us a gift and Christmas we give you twice any photo at all ha.

00:55:52--> 00:55:59

So we're more generous I mean, we give you two times mentioned it giving them gifts and eight so they know also

00:56:01--> 00:56:09

and you might be lucky and they start giving you a gift and you're late to so you get three gifts. They so so I hope that explain it.

00:56:10--> 00:56:31

And what about work I know this little children work if they give you the work gifts and stuff like that it's the same thing you can accept it as long as not a religious or haram gift and it's somebody gives you Jack Daniel like whiskey for Christmas now you can take that to whatever they give it to me share what I do with it

00:56:34--> 00:57:10

and the drainage but it is shift can I carry it to my house to drain it? Yes you can. was not allowed to carry it to drink it or to serve it to someone but to take it to destroy it or to basically get rid of it it's a lot can I give it to non Muslim as a gift? Somebody give me a wine can I give it to non Muslims the majority of Divakar said it's not allowed the vast majority of people got a heck of a lot others and it's a lot but I don't lean toward that opinion at all. They make sure that you teach your kids to be okay to be a different kid to be

00:57:12--> 00:57:24

it's been two minutes and we start just any other number religious holidays none of his holidays the default rules in general it is on up Martin Luther King Mother's Day Father's Day

00:57:28--> 00:57:38

New Year okay it is allowed all these you know as a form of recognizing to their Halloween still is a religious holiday

00:57:39--> 00:57:40


00:57:41--> 00:57:44

I was talking to someone earlier about the Halloween

00:57:46--> 00:58:05

Am I allowed to go gather like candy and stuff like that I do believe it's not allowed because it isn't a religious holiday even if people today don't do it but still have religious connection and Dylan is connection to it is to a pagan belief to those who worship and these still exist today is not something I'm making it up

00:58:07--> 00:58:40

actually when I teach a course about demons and angels I talk about a little bit about what's called demons and how people until today they're very active actually in worshipping devils and calling for the demons and stuff like that if this concept does still exist and I don't believe that it is allowed for a Muslim to put a costume and go outside the street or collect you know or without even cause them to go collect candy This is a very this is even if we don't say it's a religious it's a culture that is only exist among non Muslims

00:58:44--> 00:58:46

Okay, that's number one number two

00:58:47--> 00:58:54

and Halloween as well the concept some What about like on Halloween just the scary things and

00:59:00--> 00:59:05

it I have so once a post that really caught my attention

00:59:06--> 00:59:22

a poster for kids wearing like you know the Halloween costume with like you know how it's all about blood and like knife and stuff like that and killing many of them scary stuff. And somebody said if this how the needle filter looks like

00:59:23--> 00:59:25

what would you think

00:59:26--> 00:59:29

the Western media will say about missiles

00:59:36--> 00:59:39

you're there your goal is all walls terrorist.

00:59:41--> 00:59:59

Extremist blood thirst thirst. You know all the vein can engineer if you get 10% of what we do. Oh, in that what you gotta look at, as it's very interesting comment actually. I never thought about it before.

01:00:00--> 01:00:06

Also I want to say and all the way in we don't want to teach our kids on information about demons about Jim.

01:00:07--> 01:00:17

In Halloween, this also concept of witches and magic. And as if it's a cool thing, we don't want to teach our kids wrong, awesome preaching about what's magic really is.

01:00:20--> 01:00:23

Magic is crucial isn't Islam should

01:00:25--> 01:00:32

not a cool thing. Also, we don't want to teach your kids to go on the street and ask people for things.

01:00:35--> 01:00:40

And also, yeah, he had the any, let's teach our kids do you have yours we have ours.

01:00:42--> 01:00:46

It's not about the candy. It's about what's more than the candy, which is the concept.

01:00:48--> 01:00:52

The final point and one of the most important point of tonight's talk.

01:00:53--> 01:00:57

And I want you to hear me out with full attention.

01:00:59--> 01:01:01

Brothers and sisters, old and young.

01:01:03--> 01:01:05

When it comes to the issue of

01:01:06--> 01:01:09

celebrating Halloween, Christmas, and all this kind of things.

01:01:11--> 01:01:14

For many of the young people who asked this question, they talk about it.

01:01:16--> 01:01:28

It is something it's not about information. It's not about you telling your kid It's haram is not allowed. It is a aid in which we can it's just a short book of this donor process.

01:01:29--> 01:01:32

For them all would be here to the one thing

01:01:33--> 01:01:35

you guys don't like fun.

01:01:37--> 01:01:49

For them, that's the only thing come to their head. You guys don't like fun? You guys don't like good time. You guys kill any opportunity for you know, for a good break.

01:01:52--> 01:01:57

That's That's how it's processed in the house in the mind of many of the young people and kids.

01:02:00--> 01:02:21

So if you understand that, you need to strategize how you're going to approach them, because that's idea in their head is not going to go away by telling him that's to Sheboygan, Kufa, that's imitating Michael fall that CNL should religious this satanic worshiper I don't see so I'm just going for fun

01:02:24--> 01:02:37

so what do you need to do we need to do as a community as family we create a portunity and a space for fun a space for having a good time in that day without being involved in the Haram

01:02:40--> 01:02:50

that's why I'm surprised that some of my community member gets so angry when she'd come out or we'd say we put together a bid you know click and treat

01:02:52--> 01:03:03

it up we put that not because we try to know because we want to answer this question when the kids say why we don't have fun. No we can have fun without all the Halloween stuff.

01:03:05--> 01:03:19

That's why sometimes even it gets out of hand became a little bit you know rough and sometimes strict with people like the way we turn away people come in with costume no costume nothing like that. So no solid no imitating

01:03:23--> 01:03:26

you can have fun without the whole entire package

01:03:29--> 01:03:40

okay, if you're going to meet with your friend and you have just a nice gut no going outside sick Engrish Can I can get you the candy that you want. I'm not gonna be gonna ask him for candy

01:03:43--> 01:03:45

Why Do We Go Go shopping after

01:03:46--> 01:03:52

for candy after Halloween. That's a smart thing to do. Because their own sale is cozy.

01:03:53--> 01:03:54

We click

01:03:55--> 01:03:57

off sanman

01:03:58--> 01:04:11

sandbanks I'm thinking okay, so anyway, so basically what you need to look at is to make sure that you think about it this way how I'm going to talk to them about it's not enough just to deliver an information

01:04:14--> 01:04:18

thank you very much. There's still many things I have and my

01:04:20--> 01:04:27

points related to other celebrations and you know stuff like that. But hopefully shallow whenever the course goal.

01:04:29--> 01:04:29


01:04:30--> 01:04:34

Come to Houston or go online whatever you guys think