Halal Intimacy #04 – Essentials

Salam alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatu Bismillah R Rahman r Rahim Al hamdu lillah wa Salatu was Salam ala Rasulillah he sallallahu alayhi wa sallam brothers and sisters in STEM and everyone who's watching Welcome back to Halal intimacy.

In sha Allah Allah Allah today we will delve into the first chapter of the book and that is marriage in Islam, we will be discussing essential elements that must be knit for the marriage to be accepted in the sight of Allah subhanaw taala as local things that cannot be neglected things that must be conducted under the Sharia of Allah subhanho wa Taala as revealed to His messenger Muhammad salatu salam. So what are these essential elements that are absolutely needed for the marriage to be valid, accepted and lawful in the sight of Allah subhanaw taala number one, we need two contracting parties the male side who made the offer to marry the female and of course the females family side, this is

known as E jab and kaaboo The person who made the offer who initiated the idea of marriage that's the male side usually and the female who obviously need to accept the offer in order for the marriage to be valid. This is the first and most important steps in marriage because there is no force you cannot force your daughter or your son for that matter to marry against the will so the first step ie jab and offer being made and Cabul acceptance from the female the daughter and of course her family members because the second condition for the marriage to be halal is for a guardian, a protector, someone in charge of that daughter to bless and to approve of this marriage

because without the consent of a guardian for the marriage to be established, the entire relationship becomes haram because Allah subhanaw taala says in the Quran, for n k Hoban et ne li hain, and marry them with the permission of the family members. You can't just marry someone without even seeking a permission from her guardian. This is very, very important because some people when the parents don't approve of the marriage, they have the idea that all right now, I did my part I talked to her father, I talked to her brother, I talked to her uncle and they refused me for no apparent reason. Therefore, I'm going to take that girl and run away and marry her against her

family's will. This is a big mistake that many people fall into sometimes I'm aware that there are a lot of family members out there who are unreasonable in their rejection when someone come and request for their daughters in marriage. But that doesn't give you the right you males out there does not give you the right to take the daughters out of their homes, marry them against the will and desires of their own family members. Notice what you have done here you have destroyed the relationship of another family member to establish your own. So do what you can to convince them to approve of the marriage, but do not marry against the will because above anything else, their

approval, Guardians approval and consent is required for the marriage to be valid. This is very, very essential. Please remember this and bear in mind on the other hand, this is a message for parents out there. Please my brothers and sisters in Islam Do not force your daughters to marry against their own will let them make that choice by themselves. Let them choose their own future husbands do not let them blame you later on for your own choice. Don't let them make a dua against you. I don't have oppression that you have oppressed them that you have committed injustice against them for choosing their own husbands whom they did not desire, guide them all you want. Teach them

all you want, but do not force them against the will because love this emotional connection between spouses is absolutely necessary for a successful marriage. So do not force your daughters or your sons for that matters against their own will. Another very essential condition for the marriage to be considered valid is what's known as dowry or Maha and that is something to be given as a gift and a symbolic gift from the groom to the bride. In most cases, it's an amount of money some scholars differ over whether it's material or non material gift. Sometimes people say your Maha is me memorizing the Quran within this period of time or your Mahara is that I will take you to Hajj and

so on and so forth. But the bottom line is it is something to be given from the groom to the bride either at the time of the contract or in an agreed upon later time. What we need to know at that stage is that marriage cannot be considered valid unless this gift is fulfilled or unless this covenant is made and that covenant is witnessed by yet another condition for the marriage to be considered valid and they say

as minimum of two witnesses in other words, my brothers and sisters in Islam there is no such thing in Islam as secretive marriage that you know my intention I know your intention and Allah subhanaw taala know our intention so don't worry in sha Allah Allah when things become easy we will get married and everybody will know there is no such thing as Allah subhanaw taala the list of all witnesses No, no, Allah Himself revealed the way in which we must conduct ourselves when it comes to marriage and when it comes to everything else, so we can't override that and halide is that which is haram Allah, Allah may Allah subhanaw taala protect us all witnesses are required to see that the

wedding ceremony is being conducted in the presence of the Guardians in the presence of the couple only then marriage is valid. Not only that, but publicizing the wedding ceremonies even highly encouraged to let people in the area aware that some people are getting married, oh, who are they then when later on they see them walking down the streets Nobody will have any shameful thoughts running through the minds in the book here or start. Abdul Latif is quoting Sheikh Mohammed a toy Dre saying that it is part of the Sunnah of the Prophet Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam to publicize the wedding party by means of singing and beating the duff and inviting people for walima

for eating. And of course, all of that should be done in a manner that is acceptable, that is lawful and not encouraging what I added to the intermingling of the sexes and the like. And what is the reason for all of that to let people know that this couple is now lawfully married. Now in the next paragraph that I'm going to read to you, sir Abdullatif brought something very, very important, I want you to really pay attention to it. He said that in the Sharia of Allah subhanaw taala marriage is haram for a man or for a woman who does not have the required tools to fulfill marital responsibilities. So if you don't have the ability to fulfill any of your roles and responsibility,

then marriage is not for you. It is as simple as that. So don't get into something that you cannot bear later on. Don't destroy the life of someone just because you want to enjoy some fun with them for a short period of time. Marriage is not meant for a short period of time. Marriage is for life. So that should be the intention that you are marrying someone so that you can spend the rest of your life with her or with him to establish an Islamic family so that you can insha Allah to Allah continue this relationship, but in Jannah together in the light Allah that should be the intention. Then Sourabh Latif continuously said, for instance, a man must have the means with which he would

cater for his wife's needs. If you cannot cater for your wife's needs, then step back don't approach it is the duty of a man to provide for feeding clothing and decent accommodation. That's your responsibility men out there who are listening to me, that's your responsibility. If you don't have the means, step back fast, and ask Allah subhanaw taala to open doors for you. And the accommodation that men must provide should be also suitable somehow to the background and the standard of his wife. And of course, also based on your ability and capacity and something very, very important here we must bring into the discussion. If any of the couple were aware of any sexual dysfunction prior

to the marriage, this information must be made known to either of the party so that they can make a decision whether to proceed with the marriage or to say sorry, I cannot bear because if you do not have the capacity and the ability to engage in sexual intimacy with one another, they more problems will arise in the future. So these things must be made known or sub Latif also brought something very important about the fifth he opinion on hermaphrodite. hermaphrodite is a person who was born with both male and female sex organs. What is the legal opinion on such people to get married Imam ignore thymine mentioned that it is prohibited for such an individual to get married until his

sexual status is made known. So according to medical research, some people will run tests to determine whether that individual should live as a male or as a female and then later on can consider marriage in the next episode in sha Allah, Allah Allah we will discuss the second chapter of the book and it is about early marriages. Let's see how Islam had guided us and guided the young people on getting married as earlier as possible to protect themselves from any vices in the society that may lead to one of the major sins in Islam and that is Xena. May Allah subhanaw taala protect us and our children I mean there's I can log on for watching don't forget to share the video

subscribe to the AWARE Academy YouTube channel and we'll see you next episode insha Allah Allah stay connected, keep it halal, Salam Alaikum Warahmatullahi overcut