Habits & Addictions #04 Tips & Tricks

I am depressed. And I wanted to end up my life. These were the first words I've heard from an 18 year old boy back then, in Hong Kong city where I used to live, who confessed to me his addiction to pornography. He came to my office and he wanted to kill himself 18 years of age, I want you to think about it for a second.

Salam, Alaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh. My brothers, my sisters, and Stan Welcome back to habits and addictions. This young boy, when he came to my office and told me that he want to kill himself, I thought to myself and I reflected over the days when I was 18. I thought back then that we used to own this world. We didn't we didn't want to end the day we wanted to play in order to be always out and we wanted to enjoy life. Life was all what we understood. There was no Jana, there was no hereafter it was this dunya we were clinging into it. Why would this boy at that very young, tender age, wanted to kill himself. When he told me, I'm addicted to pornography. And I actually literally

I remember that day very vividly. I laughed.

Because I remember growing up in the 90s, pornography used to exist on VHS tapes and magazines and whatnot. And we we used to have them around them, exchanging them and so on, so forth. But we never thought that they were addictive. But this boy actually woke me up to the reality and brought flashbacks to my memory back then. It used to affect us badly. It used to make us worry, wandering, a hiding, not not being able to focus during our studies and exams. And all these flashbacks will always run whenever you do something essential to distract you to take you away from that which is real, that which is essential in your life.

And subhanAllah this was the man who got me to start the research about pornography addiction, its harms and so on. Because I got worried about my own kids. Have a teenager children now that I constantly talk to them about the harmful impact of pornography. Some people do say Are you mad? Are you crazy? Why you talk to children about this? I say you know what, if a six year old seven year old can access this one in 10 look at the statistics, one in 10 Porn users on the internet is under the age of 10. So when are you going to talk to your children about the harmful impacts of porn? If it is super prevalent like that, it is an obligatory duty on every Muslim to speak about it that's

that's my my take. If it is super prevalent like that, we should talk about it we should address it. Because the prophets Allah Allah Allah wa sallam told us a lie, no testimony was in AHA another eyes commit adultery, eyes commit Zina, and the Zener of the eye is the stare. And this the literal understanding of pornography today that people are committing Zina of the eyes on a daily basis, if not on hardcore websites, it's on social media platforms

will lie my brothers and sisters, I like to be blunt and straightforward. Sometimes you feel is too much to bear to hear and all that but we have to bring the reality to you as it is so that you can pay heed. There are many people are suffering from this for life, and they're still you know, brushing the dirt under the carpets. Until when, until when so my brothers my Sisters in Islam today, I wanted to give you a few tips and tricks Inshallah, to help you cope with this addictive behavior.

And I wanted to make a disclaimer, this is very important. Not everyone who's addicted to pornography gaming on or any of those vices will benefit from those tips and tricks it might work with some it may not work with with others. So those who feel like those tips didn't work with them. Don't Don't ever despair them

Remember, Allah subhanaw taala in the Quran Kalia i Daddy Alladhina Astrov wala unforseen Loretta canneto millrock Mattila, don't ever do not ever my brothers and sisters give up on Allah subhanaw taala don't despair in the Mercy of Allah subhanaw taala in Allaha de novo Jamia, Allah is capable and able to forgive all sins, major or minor doesn't matter. So don't give up on yourself. Don't give up on Allah subhanaw taala if any of these tips didn't work for you, but reach out, reach out to receive maybe more detail programs, you know, recovery programs, addiction is not an easy thing to get rid of. May Allah subhanaw taala protect us all amenable Amin but tip number one never give

up on Allah. Again. I'm repeating that again. Why? Because many people have left Islam listen carefully. Many people have left Islam because they can't get rid of the addiction. They think that Allah is not there. Do you think that Allah is not listening to the DUA they say Brother, I've been addicted for years and years and years and every night I repent every every time I relapse, I repent again, I repent and I go back to Allah and I'm still in the cycle of addiction. That doesn't mean that Allah did not listen to your DUA but it means that you're not doing something else important. That is needed. You know, if you have what I had the black cancer may Allah subhanaw taala cure our

sick I mean our blood I mean,

with the dua that Allah subhanaw taala definitely encouraged, which is the process and have made it the center of our worship. A Da Hua li da da da is worship with that da you need to go to a doctor, you need to take the necessary treatment to get better, not just by Doha, right? So make dua make the necessary DUA and that's very, very important to notice, and don't give up on Allah subhanaw taala as we mentioned earlier, Allah subhanaw taala told us in the Quran called Outubro Bill Phillip, mean shad, Rima Haluk, we are advised to seek refuge and protection from Allah subhanaw taala from the evil consequences of that which he created. Allahu Akbar, look at use of alayhi

salam, when he was seduced by a beautiful lady, beautiful lady. She seduced him, she locked him inside a room. She put guards outside, no one enters, no one exists. And she invited him to Zina bluntly and plainly hate her like she said, I'm all yours come, Paula ma the law he said I seek the protection of Allah subhanaw taala this number one wrong to Allah subhanaw taala. Number two run away. Run to the opposite direction of what of where the Haram is being committed. If the Haram is being committed in your bedroom, run away, leave the room, or leave the door open for take all your devices outside and tell your parents don't allow me to take my devices inside the bedroom. Tell

your husband tell your wife tell your family members. And if you're living alone, my brother's sister Be careful. isolation and loneliness is number one enemy to sobriety.

Full stop, there is no explanation needed. If you are living alone, and you're addicted to those behaviors, there is no way you're gonna get rid of it unless you live in the company of some righteous people who will advise you to do that which is right. But once you're alone, a shaitan Malwa had shaitan is with the individual. Well who I mean Al is Nene about and he's farther away from the two.

So now when you are alone, you have shaitan and you have your addiction. Two against one, you're definitely going to be broken. May Allah subhanaw taala grant you strength run away like Yusuf alayhi salam, Allah subhanaw taala told us in the Quran festival combat the race towards the door use of our SLM he knew that the door is locked.

I always wondered why reading so choose where was he running to? I don't care wherever the sin is committed. I'm not there. I have to run away I don't know it all. I'm either law number one he Sault you know protection from Allah subhanaw taala second, and he ran to the opposite direction. And he even said, Call her up be sigil, a hub Bhulaiyaa Mima, the owner and Eli, your Allah prison is way better for me much beloved to my heart than what they are inviting me to commit. Look at this. So even if if life is not as easy as you dreamt or as you wished for doesn't matter, so long as you're not doing that which is haram. So run away as far as you can. Look when the Prophet SAW

Use of Islam run away from the lady she ripped off his shirt from behind. For star some Allah Subhana Allah Allah says in the Quran, he remained firm even after this.

Even after this, Abdullah had Mahadeva sent me a lot the Allahu Anwar, though one of the companions, who was in one of the battles, were a Christian, I think Roman Empire or something, they called him and 300 of the companions of the Prophet SAW Selim the prison them, and he was the leader of the ship, the chief of that army at that time, they brought him to convert them to Christianity, and he resisted, and he stood firm. And as a result of this, they brought a prostitute. They asked her to seduce him in jail, and he ran away from from her in the cell. She went on and said, he is a rock law Akbar. He is a rock. That's what we need to do. Some people they they say self pleasuring is

mcru is disliked, is something that we can do every now and then look, my brother's instance then. If you want to know anything about addiction, talk to those who studied it. Talk to those who studied if a if there is an opinion, from the Phil key perspective,

says that masturbation is mcru That's absolutely absolutely respected. However, if we can prove that masturbation could lead to addicted to an addictive behavior that can impact sexual performance with one's wife, then we need the scholars to come and tell us what is the fatwa about this, or what is the ruling about this? So we don't want to just throw Unicode people from the past and say, look, they say it's my crew. They say it's this like, it's not in the level of haram. Look, I don't want to argue about

that's not my area. My area is addiction. And I know for sure that masturbation can become absolutely addictive to a point that many men they prefer masturbation and pornography over their own Halal wives. Don't become like Sara, that's not her real name by the way, person who called her uncle doing something shameful. And as a result that led her to an addictive lifestyle for 25 years 25 years her future her husband and family members don't don't don't go into that cycle. Fight hard, reach out for help. I will I will keep on saying that again and again until you get it inshallah Tada my brothers and sisters and feel confident and comfortable. To reach out and seek out help May

Allah subhanaw taala cleanse us all, from any haram from any vices of that nature. I mean, I'm gonna mean see you next episode insha Allah As Salam aleikum wa rahmatullah wa barakato.