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Coping With Hardship

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Umm Jamaal ud-Din

Channel: Umm Jamaal ud-Din

Episode Notes

Episode Transcript

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una Tsuboi when Rubina Himanshu re and fusina will say as Dr. Molina manga de la salaamu mobila one a

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Ilaha Enola who wants to Who woulda de Cana was shadow, Mohammed Abu Musa law who Allah He was salam o price upon law with painting. We thank Him, we asked him for his help. And we asked him for his forgiveness, with the graffiti, the love of Allah from the eve of ourselves and the evil directions. Whoever is guided by law, then no one can guide them and whoever is misguided then no one can guide them except for level Tyler. I bear witness that there is no god worthy of worship except Allah. And I bear witness that Mohammed law one day he will send them his final missing Gemma bad festival SLM why they come, what happened to why would I care to

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welcome to all of you in sha Allah, and May Allah pantalla relieve the suffering of every Muslim in this earth in sha Allah And may Allah Subhana Allah reward them with the agenda to name the genetic results that Allah for all of their hardship and suffering that I enjoyed in this life, the evening lakita.

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So the power loss, this is the topic that I wanted to speak about today is a topic that

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was a very important topic, because sooner or later, every single one of us has to face it. And that is the topic of hardship. You know, this dunya is full of hardships and Parma, anybody who thinks that you can get rid of Jr. Without hardship, then they basically, you know, deceiving themselves.

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That's the kind of law. You know, the reason I chose to speak about this topic is because usually when you go through a hardship, you know, we're told how we should be patient. And so many people will say to you, you know, where's your Eman and all of these things like a lot of people who don't understand what you're going through, would say to you comments like, Oh, where's your Eman and things like this. So, you know, it's one thing for people to be patient but sometimes you don't even know how to be patient, what are the skills we can have, that can help us to be patient? This is why I chose this topic to speak about like how what are some of the methods we can use, inshallah, to

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help us to remain patient be easily lucky to Allah.

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So, the most, you know, first of all, you know, before a hardship comes in, very wise to put a plan in place. Because the worst thing you can do is just, like, think that the hardships going to come and you're going to get to cope with it. You know, Pete, most people going along in life, thinking everything's fine and lovely. And then the minute the hardship hits that I know what to do, it just knocks them it knocks them but he just throws them off, you know what I mean? And they have no clue what they should do. So if we can think about a plan, an action plan to have in place, some ideas to have in place to help us to know what to do if whenever that hardship does strike. So from the first

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day we think the system is we should expect hardship. This is this is a very important point before you know before anything else, we should

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expects hardship to befall us. As indicated in the IR alongside it says, well, another one that comes alongside us land attack he that he used the land of emphasizing that it's definitely going to happen, it's surely going to happen that you're going to be tested in yourself in your wealth, you know, in your real, you're going to be testing and all of these things, it's certainty that it's going to happen. So we should not be surprised. And one of the mistakes we make, as I said before, is we just think we're gonna get through life, and everything's gonna be all fine and rosy and nothing's gonna touch us. And that's why when it happens, we get so shocked. But, you know, I

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believe part of the reason for us not coping with a lot of our trials, is because the pain of life, you know, we live in a time, like, and we live in a country where the Panama we are very blessed. We are very blessed the panel, like we don't say, we don't say, um, you know, we rarely see we're really exposed to death, we're really exposed to disease, we're really, we're rarely exposed to real poverty. Whereas if you look at the path, you go back, say, 100 years, you know, even in Australia, or any of those countries, like the Panama, it was normal death, with all around you, you know, if you live till you're 20, you are very blessed because of how much Todd but you know, children would

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die from childhood diseases and, and in stillbirth, and all of these things, and people used to die from all kinds of diseases that, you know, we don't, you know, and sicknesses upon a lot, and then the poverty as well, like the poverty was, you know, and even now, if we look at overseas, you know, can we do to Panama, this is the kind of that they living like this every day. So what happens is, when you're living a life of hardship, as another game could be later on, it does make you more resilient, it does make you more resilient to, to coping with hardships, but the fact is, it's basically like, we've been wrapped up in cotton wool, in our lifestyle that we're in. And, you know,

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if you think about, and this is part of the reason why, whenever anything just suddenly hits us, it's like, oh, my God, you know, and we think of hardship is something unusual, that's happening to us, we have realized, actually, it's the opposite, that what we're living in, is an unusual state, that the day of the wearing of having, you know, blessing and everything not, you know, that that's the unusual state, the actual normal state, is in a state of hardship upon a law that most people are going through in this world.

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So this is this is an important point to think of, and, you know, like, if you think about how much we are protected, from even viewing hardship, like look on the news, when a tragedy occurs, like look at that young boy, May Allah give patients to his father, you know, like that, I didn't want to show us the picture. Because we're too We're too We're too soft to be able to handle it. You don't mean like, we're always protected from seeing anything at all we get to see is the beautiful people, the rich people, the Healthy People like we're shielded, we're shielded from seeing the true reality of life that out there, there are hundreds and 1000s, you know, around you who is sick, who is

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suffering, we don't get to say that we're shielded from all these things. So this is the most important part to start off with to know that the reality of this life is it's a life of hardship, they will be hardship all along the way. And allowance Allah He called what why did he call the dunya dunya. Because it's a it's a lonely life. It is. It is a deficient life, the dunya with called the dunya, because it's a life of deficiency. It's a life that no matter who you are, no matter who you are, always there will come hardship to you. No matter who you are, you cannot escape it. No one is always happy in this world. It's just it cannot happen. So it's upon like only in the AP euro,

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the dollar AP euro, that's upon law, that's the true life of happiness and peace, the life where there's no pain, no sadness. You never hear something somehow that disturbs you or makes you sad, the Panama May Allah subhanaw taala bless us all, and they are saved from the agenda, you're allowed me.

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So that's the first point, then the second of the point in preparing for hardship or knowing how to cope with hardship is it's very easy. What can really help you is to study about alcohol even further to study you know, the, the, you know, the subject of a lot of pantallas predestination, if we study this, it can really help us to be able to cope with hardship when it heats up. So for example, if you, for example, know that a lot from a local dahlias, beautiful name is and Hakeem has, you know, a lozada from his beautiful names that he is the most wise that Allah does not command anything to happen whether in the heavens or the earth, except they happen but a huge wisdom

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is always a huge wisdom and reason behind everything that a lot of times Allah has allowed to exist, all that he has destined to happen. So we have to always remember that no matter what happens to us, there is a huge reason behind it upon Allah, even if we can't understand it right away.

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That moment, the other thing from from studying and forgot you will further is to know like as for example, that you know that how the Messenger of Allah and Allah when it was done, he told us that whatever, you know, the parallel whatever was destined to happen and to Yokoyama was written 50,000 years before the, the creation of the heavens and the earth 50,000 years, so, whatever, whatever your need is gonna happen, has already been written, and it was, you know, once it happened, it can never, it can be never changed, what is written with a loss can never be changed. So, therefore, whatever, whatever they tell you, you know that it was always going to happen to you, no matter what

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you do, no matter what you do, or whatever you did, whatever befalls you, you know, it was always going to happen to you, and whatever does not happen, where the whenever you do not attain in your life, it means you're never going to get it. So, this puts the heart at rest, you know, so that you don't say to yourself, or only I did that, that wouldn't have happened to me, because you know, that everything was written 50,000 years before the creation of the heavens and the earth. And what's the use in saying, or when you add to it I did that didn't come up, it was written, if it happened to you, it means it was written for you. So that's, that's part of our, you know, acceptance of, of

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hardships when they befall us.

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And

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also, from, you know, we study as a valuable part that some of the other lessons we can learn from it to know like to know in your heart, like when the hardship befalls you, for example, that alone is a debit. He is the manager of the affairs, he's so far that he is the one in control of the affairs. So don't feel that everything's out of control. No, a lot is controlling it in the way that maybe you can't understand why, but he's in control of the affairs. That's what we should turn to him for our hardship to follow because he is the one who everything is in his control. The panel was Allah, he's the one who can remove the hardship, if he will. And if he will, then if he he and he

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knows what's best for us. That's the other thing we will always keep in your mind that Allah is a caddy. He is our hands. You know, He is the Most Merciful and he is a lovely, along with a playful be a baddie that allows Allah He is the most kind and he is the most Rahim so he's a bad he's the most merciful to his servants. subhana wa, Asana serene, remember, that's a ton of money, a lot doing it to you, he's getting in some sort of hardship, that a lot of times Allah is from his rough mother, he's doing this to you. And as a lot of data signifies what asset was there and Sakura, who shaped and what was quite who was there and to hateful, she was shoved back home, maybe you maybe

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you don't like something, but along those that he is something very good for you. And maybe you don't like Danny and the opposite way, maybe you love something, maybe you would love to have that help. Or maybe you would love to have that will or whatever you're missing, you'd love have such a winner as if you were to have the Panama you wouldn't have been able to reach the state that says you know the status in Ghana, that Allah wants for you to Panama Listen, we have to remember that it allowed us to do something that alone is best. What is you know, he knows best, you know, as Allah says, Allah, Ya Allah May Allah, Allah, Kobe just means that we she has created what who was our

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people Javier He is the only way and that you know, the most subtle and all the way to Panama because this is some of the things that we have to keep in our minds. inshallah, that helped us and you know, sometimes people will say, you know, they'll say to Panama, for example, they'll say you know, how chords to conflict.

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Sometimes people will say, how could a lot of times Allah

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This is something that is not like people don't like, why did Allah destined things that we don't like, you know, how long what, what Yanni, but suppiler you think about yourself, think about this for yourself, don't you, except sometimes painful things to happen even to your own child, because you know, something good can come out of it. For example, I guarantee you any of you had a child with a heart problem. When you take your child to the hospital to get operated by the doctor and the doctor is going to cut open your child with a knife and take you in and operate on the heart and that's painful to your child, your child's going to suffer. Isn't that

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so at the time I think we have to realize that alongside is a big hikma and a wisdom behind why he did certain things happened to us. And remember that Allah is Rahim. He is a Rahim to me and he is the merciful to the meaning and we have to never lose hope of that inshallah.

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Okay, the third thing we need to do in order to cope with hardships if this is his is to practice patience. Patience is not something that comes naturally. The prophet SAW a lot while he was 17. He told us that that patient comes to being

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patient that who ever woman who has a sub u sub zero who law like whoever tries to be patient alone will make them patient, the patient doesn't come back, it's not a natural thing that you're born with, you have to practice it. And when you put it into practice, the Panama, Allahu Allah can bring some, some things are a few that you never knew you had, he makes you cope with situations, you never would have dreamed that you wouldn't be able to bear it. But you wouldn't set yourself the Panama I would never be able to cope with that. But then Allah gives you that test. And the Panama hell, if you turn to Allah, you're able to bear that test in an air, that's the that's the amazing

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thing about you know, being inshallah with a lot of hands, Allah. So.

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So the other thing, you know, even though these hardships they're very hard to cope with, right hardships are very hard to cope with waiting, they're called hardship. Right? They're called hardship for a reason, because they're hard. You know, and then you know, that that can allow to allow to tend to hit you in the things that hardest for you.

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Like, whenever it's hard for you, alone, like the hardest, your weaknesses, all of his doing that. That's what I like, I don't know, three kids, I've been through it. And I've noticed that that's what I find that a lot of hits you in things, it's hard for us.

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But for Panama, if you you know, there's so many huge, there's so many experiences, there's so many are huge learning experiences, that you can gain through these hardships, if you truly reflect, we should always reflect on these hardships, and ask ourselves what is a law trying to teach me through this hardship.

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So this is why I'm

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one of the practical methods you can use to help yourself cope with hardship is actually right, get good at pen and paper. And actually, when you're in the middle of the hardship, sit down and write out your feelings. This is so beneficial in so many ways. You can learn so many things through that time. Because

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you know, for example, look at your life, you know, when you're going through that hardship, ask yourself as well what is a law, when we learn from its hardship? There's always weaknesses in ourselves that we need to fix and the Panama through that hardship by a lot of rough math, he wants us to learn things. So reflect upon it, ask yourself, What am I learning about myself that I didn't realize about myself before? What am I learning about my relationship with the loss of Hans Allah, that I didn't? You know, I didn't realize before or you know, the dunya What am I learning about this dunya the reality of this life, there's so many learning experiences that can be gained through

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hardship.

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And then also you need to reflect, take a very good look at yourself without, you know, destroying yourself not saying destroy yourself through to some people like shoot like a fishing lady that can be very hard on themselves, where they get themselves very depressed by, you know, putting themselves down where they don't, you know, they that's not that's not positive, we're doing it as a positive approach, not as a negative to, to like, be so critical of ourselves that we basically hope to take on No, we're not talking about that. We're talking about having a look yourself. And, you know, without emotion, have a look at where we've been going wrong. There may be things we've been

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doing wrong. And this is the this is the reason that a lot of pantalla has brought this hardship upon us to wake us up, to bring it back to him to realize the reality of his life. So we should reflect on these things, look at things maybe we possibly things we've maybe fallen into make Toba for those things. But right these lessons down I honestly urge you write these lessons down because the pain of loss, you can keep them and look back on them years later when the when the hardship passes. And you're and it's a very big reminder to you of the things that valuable lessons that you learn when you're going through that hardship.

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So remember that if a lot hits you with certain hardship, there's a reason why Allah has chosen you for this hardship. So reflect upon that and you know, try to get closer to a loss of pantalla through that hardship. Okay, then, the fourth point in coping with hardship

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is

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don't try to overcome the hardship.

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Nobody is strong enough to cope with a hardship on their own. You know, it's a panel we are not strong enough like we we are, you know, what is the insect that the human being is by

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the human being, the human being on the earth is very weak, we are very vulnerable and weak. And a lot that's what a lot says, When there's several camps in Lebanon, like that. You cannot have patience, except with Allah, except with Allah helping you. So don't try to carry that burden all by yourself. Don't think that nobody is a no person is able to carry the burdens of this life on their own. You need to turn to Allah to you know, to Panama, turned to him to relieve that burden for Panama from your heart. So this is why we need to turn to a lot of pantalla you know, and have to work on on

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Have dependence upon him. To help us to get through this tip, we cannot hope to get through this hardship on our own. We need the help of a loss of counselor to help us to get through this hardship.

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So it's apparent that what everybody should do when they're going through a hardship is to put their trust in a loss of counselor. And then leave your problem with Allah, like you do your best in what you can do to solve your problem. But then leave your problem to Allah because Allah as we said, is that via Elmo, Elmo, like he is the he is the manager of the affair, his image the para la and allows Allah He says, in a plan, what will we do me? No, wha, and I leave and delegate or relegate my, my affair to Allah. So we should, you know, you know, of course we feel sad for a hardship when it befalls us. But you know what the action plan of action is to turn to Allah subhanaw taala asked

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him to help us to be patient. And then seek the means to try to solve our problem. But then leave the matter with Allah and know that Allah is you know, if you know, as Allah says, We're Mejia to Western Allah, He for what hospital who ever depend on Allah, He is the most efficient for him, you don't need anything else for Panama.

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City, Panama, a lot of people when it comes to hardship, they look in every direction trying to get help, and they don't realize that the main gates upon a lot, they don't realize that the best way and the ultimate way is just to turn back to a lot of hands a lot, you know, pour your heart out to Allah like to allow your problem going your sajida cry out to a lot of pantalla in your sajida complain to him, there's so many problems sometimes that we feel too shy and embarrassed to share with anybody else. We feel even too shy to tell people what's really in our heart, what's what's going on with ourselves, but the panel on no one should be shy, to turn to rob banana mean, and call

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upon him with a call Sure. And you know, true humbleness and a loss of fear call upon him cry to him in your in your center.

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Because he is the only once upon a law who can take away that, that that that hits from you and that that that that misfortune panela and if you look at the if you look at the NBA, and also if you look at the the prophets and messengers, sisters, you'll see this is the exact action they took. Look at them in the midst of the hardship. Look at them in the midst of the hardship you see straight away they turned to Robben Island mean, like, for example, look at your code the way he poured his heart out to a loss of hands Allah and he says in a school bestie was with me, you know, law, that fairly I school, in a school verily I complain, my hardship and my misfortune and my sadness to Allah

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subhanaw taala. This was the way that he dealt with his severe trial that he's going through, you know that a trial that he is, it was so heartbroken. They lost his eyesight from the loss of his dead son not knowing what's happened to him when he gone. So he says in a school but he was with me in a loss. I love this. So much the power sisters, and this is something to remember when you're going in the midst of that hardship. And then if you look at Eunice alehissalaam, when he's in the the whale, the darkness of the whale in the darkness of the sea, and how does he cry out to a loss of Panther La La Ilaha Illa and Topanga in niku manabadi mean, and the Messenger of Allah sallallahu

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alayhi wa sallam, he told us that there is no Muslim who's afflicted with a hardship and they say that ilaha illa and suparna can in economy not by any mean if there's a lot of times Allah will relieve them from that hardship the panel law so this slide is not just from you know, it's for all of us have had a lot to learn from keep on saying it in your drawer. If you're going through a hardship, keep on repeating this over and over again. It will it will bring relief inshallah, to your heart be the lady Tada.

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If you look at the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, when he's in a very critical state, you know, he's in the cave with other buckets Cydia radi Allahu anhu and the mystery kena outside the cave, any moment they can look inside and find them. What is the Messenger of Allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam say that then in no la Hama, Allah, do not be afraid and Do not be sad, in no la hermana Verily, Allah is with us.

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So this is what we have to remember that a lot. You're not alone in your trial. You're not alone in your trials. Don't try to bear it all on your own. Turn to Allah subhanaw taala and from the blessing that a person get in being patient for the sake of Allah and turning to Allah, is you tell me what's caught you come under what's called the nyaya of a loss of pantalla that Allahu Allah He says in the law of mass obedience, for example, that Allah is with the patient. So part of this is called the mayor of a law where a lot

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Allah, when you when you turn to Allah Subhana Allah, you know, to help him to make your patient Subhana Allah Allahu taala he puts you in a state of Maya which is a safe way along you can feel the rhythm of the law surrounding you you can feel a lot of comfort in your heart you can feel a lot making your your affairs easy opening up the affairs for you and for Paula bringing comfort to you bringing some relief to use the parallel that's why as I'm gonna you know, as we've talked about in the as well alongside us is to say in early last he was in LA he Raji Rouen, you know, we should say at the time of the motiva, like it is a time of the misfortune hearing the misfortune, if you say in

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de la, he was in LA, he wrote your own and you turn to Allah through that hardship, that Allah subhanaw taala from the from the blessing Allah gives that person who does that and says these words, but Allah subhanaw taala he brings comfort to that person and makes it makes them able to bear inshallah beanie now with that, with that fall that they're going through. And not only that, there's another narration that says that if the person has gone through a trial, every time they remember that trial later on, and they say in a Lackey, were in Nigeria, he was your own, that a lot of times Allah will give them the same reward as they were getting while they were being patient

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with the initial receiver. Okay, so now we come to the fifth point, inshallah of some of the coping strategies.

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And that is, when you're going through a hardship and cholatse says, focus on what you can change, instead of make unsettling yourself become frozen. But what you can't change, okay, because, obviously, what happens is when, and we'll be back before you when it when a misfortune comes down on you, okay?

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It's normal to be frozen in the beginning, because you're in shock. You don't know how to react, you weren't expecting it, it always comes in ways you don't expect, isn't it? It comes in ways you least expect, normally. And

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it's normal to be frozen for a while, like you don't know what to do. But at the same time, you also need to allow yourself to heal for a while. It's like a wound, like if I, if someone, like if someone hurt me in my arm, and I've got blood coming out, it takes time to heal, right? Similarly, when I'm tested, with the misfortune to dislike, it's a win, it's a win for myself, and I do need time to heal. So don't be so harsh on yourself, even the prophets that a lawyer has done and he got sad when you know, for example, His son died when his wife died, he got that hairline, he he even used to shed tears. So it's not we are human beings. And it's normal to feel sad and to have, you

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know, human emotion. When we go through a hardship, allow yourself to go through those processes, right.

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But then, you know, the thing is not to let that hardship

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ruin the rest of your life. No matter what's happened to you, there has to be a time when we move on. We cannot stay like some people what happens is when a hardship befalls them, it just,

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it just takes over your whole life. And they don't even enjoy their life anymore. They don't allow themselves to enjoy their life anymore. So what you have to do is process the hardship. But then make a date for yourself or time where you're going to you will allow yourself a certain amount of time to great, you know, and to heal. But after that time, you're going to pick yourself back up and start becoming proactive about your situation, whatever that situation is.

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And to try to move forward in your life, we cannot just keep saying as a prisoner of the past, or what's happened to you can't say the prisoner of that you have to just learn to adapt, learn to adapt to whatever hardship you now have. And one of the amazing things the sisters about the believer is they make the best of their situation, no matter what it is. They make the best of their situation, no matter what it is, you know, whatever situation they're in, don't make the best of it. And this is why the Messenger of Allah, Allahu alayhi wa sallam he said, I did then the embryo what means that Subhanallah amazing is the effect of the movement. We're in and Rahu kulambu five doctor,

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all of his affairs are good, no matter what happens to him, he's affairs are always good. But the neighbor is never a loser. So whatever the situation is they're in, they will find that we'll find the good out of it. And we'll find the good out of that. Okay. If we look at some examples of the sukkah, shefali Stan even told me about him a lot.

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Okay, when he looked at how productive he was in jail, now he was thrown in jail, he was oppressed. And he was thrown in jail. Okay, and he couldn't just sat there and wasted his time and being sad because he was thrown in jail for what he already did. He came in jail. He found the people in jail wasting their time playing cards and stuff like that. So he says he's out to them. He says telling him about you know,

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You know, enjoying the good being the voice and teaching them until the Panama the jail became a center of seeking knowledge, a sense of seeking knowledge. And he spent his whole time you know, he did writing books, you know how many books he writes in jail? The power law, he writes books, like a hammer was written in jail, for example, you know, books of knowledge, he wrote, revising for an, you know, praying and making a better. And we all know that famous statement from 70s, and even taymiyah. When he says, What can my enemies do to me, you know, if they imprison me, it'll be haleiwa, you know, I'll have our you know, it'll be like I'm with it, it will be isolation with a

00:30:39--> 00:31:17

lot like I'll have, I'll be going with a loss of data. And if they exile me, in another place, you'll be tourism, I can go and look at the creations of Allah and praise the Lord for His beautiful creations. And if they kill me, I'll be Shaheed. So whatever the case is, for the morning, they can never be, they can never be a loser, they'll always find the good in whatever, whichever way Allah turns in his life, they'll find the good whichever way they go to Panama. And, you know, I remember hearing a story about this lady, she was completely paralyzed, completely paralyzed, she couldn't make anything except Hurley. And for Panama, this just came to visit her, you know, what he found,

00:31:17--> 00:31:18

he found when he walked in, she got

00:31:19--> 00:31:30

on her front door. So So she's doing she, even though she, she kind of knew she's being proactive in her situation. So katene at the front door, he's got

00:31:31--> 00:31:56

a perfect fourth hour, when you walk into the whoever comes in, they're going to get down. You don't mean whoever comes in, they're gonna make saga she's gonna get the real reward for that, you know, she comes in, when they come to visit her, she's constantly making dinner and reminding people of a lot of times on a medic flight. So no matter the age, we can see that no matter you know, whatever, whatever her situation, she's that she's making the best of it, whatever Allah has given her, right.

00:31:57--> 00:32:21

So this is why we have to learn that, yes, a hardship is not easy for us. But we have, we have got the choice to take responsibility of our life and to move on, we have a choice about how to react to that hardship, we can let it we can let that hardship flatten up, and, and we can ruin the rest of our life. Or we can stand back up and we can find the best way we can to live a meaningful life inshallah after that.

00:32:22--> 00:32:22

So

00:32:24--> 00:32:49

even if you can't change something, maybe there's something you can't change, something happened, you cannot change, someone passed away, you obviously cannot change that, that hardship. Okay. But you can ask yourself these two questions. There's two questions. And again, write these down, because I'm trying to give you a perspective, I'm trying to give you a practical lesson here, not just like a This lesson is not mainly, I haven't focuses mainly on the rewards. I'm focusing as less and more on practical,

00:32:50--> 00:33:17

practical methods we can use, right? So right down to it and ask yourself, How can I improve my situation? This is my situation, what can I do to improve it? All right. And then the other thing to ask yourself is, how can I turn this misfortune into a blessing? How can I turn this ebook me fortune into a blessing, there's always a way of turning a misfortune into a blessing.

00:33:19--> 00:33:21

Okay, another point

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of coping how the way another method of coping

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is to, that's proven to bring happiness to a person, right? these are these are two methods that are proven to bring happiness to anybody, whether you're going through a trial or not, especially be going to trial try to focus on me. The first one is, get busy, but trying to do something to help others and bring happiness to others. It's proven that people who try to bring happiness to others are the most happy people.

00:33:54--> 00:34:28

So try your best to find something, anything that you can, you know, do something to help others because why when you're busy helping others that takes your focus off yourself. When you go into a hardship, you fall into a pattern of feeling very sorry for yourself. Right? You're constantly feeling sorry for yourself all the time. But if you can focus your energy on helping others, you start to your focus goes off yourself onto others. And not only that, by helping others, you start mixing within and you're seeing that a lot of people have a lot of other problems and some of those problems are far worse than yours. And you think Allah that Allah didn't hit you with that tip?

00:34:29--> 00:34:40

Right? So that's one thing and you know, make your goal every day to try to bring happiness to someone. Even if it's just a smile in someone's face. We know this a soda,

00:34:41--> 00:34:58

soda calm the message of a loss of a loved one insulin, he told us that even a smaller soda, right? Not any that acquaints words. Just saying kind words. When you see that person smile. You made them happy by complimenting them, saying something nice to tantalize. You feel happy. It brings happiness to you.

00:35:00--> 00:35:13

making other people happy. So concentrate, try to push your energy instead of focusing on yourself so much focus on others in trying to make them happy. And then the other thing, the other thing that goes with this point here is to focus on

00:35:14--> 00:35:25

all the blessings you've been given, and not what and what you haven't been given. What happened from the nature of incense from the nature of incense is that we whenever a hardship befalls us, as Allah tells us, for example,

00:35:26--> 00:35:38

that whenever hardship before the person, they just forget about everything that all of this and we and all they, they, all they're focusing on is the hardship and the misfortune and feeling sorry for themselves. Right.

00:35:40--> 00:36:20

So this is why it's very important for us to when a hardship befalls us, we try to turn it rather than to focus on what you've lost. Try to focus on being Shakira to Allah being grateful to Allah and thanking Allah, for whatever he you know, wherever he best you read in the past, thank him that he didn't make this trial work for you. Thank you for helping me Be patient in this trial. This is something we should be thanking and thanking him for the best thing that you've suddenly best things around you that you've been given like a law says we're indebted, do namrata law he, that if you were to be if you were to try to think so if you try to count the best things of a loss, you need to

00:36:20--> 00:36:26

be able to count them because it's so count the countless, the blessings of the law upon each person is countless.

00:36:29--> 00:37:06

And this reminds me of a story I want to share with you as well. today. panela recently, I was reading, for example, a story about the disseminating microphone named Naima Roberts. She writes the sisters magazine. Some of you might have read that magazine. Actually don't read it myself. But I know that she does. She's in UK. And she she writes, she publishes a new magazine for sisters called the sisters magazine. So Panama, I happened to find out that recently her like she's got five children. And she's, I'm not sure she could be in her 30s. But the Panama suddenly, her recently her husband passed away.

00:37:08--> 00:37:15

I think I'm living in Egypt at the time. And what happened was that suddenly out of the blue like this is how many fortunes are out of the blue, the Panama

00:37:17--> 00:37:18

have been suddenly had a stroke.

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And within one week, he passed away.

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Now, the Panama what happened was that someone when she was visiting, her husband told her a story about a couple who their child died. And they had agreed with each other that if a lot has willed to take the soul of their child, they're not going to focus on the misfortune, rather, they're going to make sagittis joke, they're gonna make a prostration of thankfulness to Allah, and thank him for the years that they had with their child. So the minute their child died, they looked at each other, they both went down into Santa, Santa just shook to Allah. And they said, Alhamdulillah, Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah that you bless us, with his child for the views that we had, and they

00:38:03--> 00:38:36

focused on the gamma that Allah has given them. So Nina said that the part of the quality story affected her so much that when, you know, when the when the doctor called her to tell her, I'm sorry to tell you this, but we couldn't save him. You know, he's passed away. She said the first thing she did, she went down into sajida to Allah. And she said, Alhamdulillah Europe and handler that you blessed me with five children and handler, your best people to geek out with my husbands. And she focused her energy on thanking obasa pantalla.

00:38:37--> 00:38:42

They then after that, you know what she needs to Panama mela mela except her suffer from her and Sharla.

00:38:44--> 00:39:00

She was productive. Okay. Yes, she allows us to have time to grieve. But part of her way of being proactive in her grief. She set up a blog. You can find it on you can find it online. It's a blog for people for sisters who are going through mourning their husbands.

00:39:01--> 00:39:40

So she set up a blog, a blog, on the on the internet, for sisters who support sisters who are going through mourning their husbands because how many people out there morning husband and they don't maybe get support for panelizer. And then by doing that she started helping others this thing too. They have problems sharing being with other sisters. So you see how she turned this misfortune into a blessing. Imagine how much has been actually getting for that blog that she's set up. And yeah, she also writes, she also she writes some Islamic poetry as well, you know, reminding people and stuff like that. So, but I'm just trying to show you that how the mean is proactive.

00:39:41--> 00:39:53

You know, they of course and what mean gets shaken by the trial, but at the same time, they can say you can use that to become proactive. So if you're hit with a trial, you know, start get involved with a charity game board with sisters get involved with

00:39:54--> 00:40:00

a group that cooks assistance or help sisters or you know, anything that you can be proactive to help

00:40:00--> 00:40:36

Other and you will see the happiness a lot of hands on inshallah will bring to your heart, the evening lights Allah. Okay, so I'm looking I'm nearly finished inshallah. So I just want to talk quickly about what to do when things get totally out of control. What do you do when things are so dark and sad? So out of control, you're struggling just to get through life. Okay, so this is just a few points. Firstly, when you're, when you're in such a low that you're struggling just to get through life, what you have to do is focus on taking one day at a time. Just focus on getting through one day at a time.

00:40:37--> 00:41:13

Try to block off the price of sheep, like try to suck out the past for now. When you're struggling at that level, block out the past sought out the past. And try not to think about the future just focus solely on getting through each day, and achieving some very small and simple goals for yourself every day. What are these goals. So these are the things you should be focusing on. So if you go through a hardship, if you have these goals written down for yourself today, take these goals out. If you guys ever go through a dark day, which you don't know how to cope, take these goals out and just stick to these goals and tick them off as you do them. It will help you to get through

00:41:13--> 00:41:47

inshallah, first of all, of course, you'll find at least your five, five prayers, even if you don't have the energy to do this sooner, but you don't leave the fight because they are your lifeline. They are your lifeline and if you let go of that lifeline for how long a person would drown. So never let go of your lifeline back to a loss of hands Allah, as Allah says was dying or be somebody was gonna seek help in being patient to seek help for being patient and through the Salah it is it is one of the main keys of a patient. Then the other thing is,

00:41:48--> 00:42:13

no matter how crazy life is getting for you, but make sure you always had some quiet time every day. No matter how crazy life is at the moment, you take some time out even half an hour, to have some quiet time to be alone with a law to cry to Allah to read Quran to make draws to him. But you have to have that quiet time to be alone with the loss of pantalla it's very important to be able to continue on.

00:42:14--> 00:42:15

On top of that.

00:42:18--> 00:42:31

Look out for yourself. Like some people, they neglect himself when they're going through a trial. But this is not wise. Try to get as much sleep as you can eat well, because you're so be kind to yourself. Be kind to yourself that you can cope better with the trial.

00:42:33--> 00:42:40

And then, besides that, try to teach yourself to enjoy the very simple things in life. The taste

00:42:41--> 00:42:43

of an apple

00:42:44--> 00:43:18

just hates the apple, take the bite and say a hungry law, your law that you blessed me with being able to taste this apple, how many people in the world did not even have a chance to taste in this beautiful fresh apple that you're taking right now. You know, you go outside and feel the winds and hungry now you're up. You know like the sun through the sun on your skin. Pay attention. Try to teach yourself to pay attention to very trivial things that most people overlook. And say and hungry laugh for the very small blessings that you know people overlook. And you'll find it'll bring happiness to your heart somehow by being by being grateful to Allah for the very small things

00:43:18--> 00:43:29

causing your son, you know, causing your child to highlight whatever that small thing savor, savor those moments, try to savor every moment that you have during that day. inshallah.

00:43:30--> 00:44:10

Finally, it is my last point and I'm going to have our special guests come and speak inshallah. Finally, inshallah, no matter how you don't, no matter what happens, no matter what happens, no matter how dark things get, but never, ever lose hope. Never, ever lose hope and know that nothing is wasted with Allah. Like we said, the believer is never a loser. Nothing is ever wasted with Allah. Allahu Allah says, In Allahu Allah, you'll be radical. Allah does not waste the reward of those who who do good. He does not waste your whatever you're going through is always you're always gaining you're never a loser.

00:44:11--> 00:44:26

And amongst Allah he he promised huge rewards for that person who he hits them. But we know in the Quran, Allah says in the sabi Runa de vida, he said that Allah, you know, he,

00:44:27--> 00:44:30

he rewards the person who's patient without measure.

00:44:31--> 00:44:54

But the Panama one of the two things that you know, to think about the most is how much things have been extended, like we look at our beautiful sister here to my left, my Allah subhanaw taala poor patient upon her supine, and you know and reward her for what she's going through while she's sitting there. Like, you know how hard we have to work to achieve the amount of reward she's getting right now.

00:44:55--> 00:45:00

You know how much we have to work to achieve rewards she's getting right now by her just being in her state that she is

00:45:00--> 00:45:36

In how much how much things are being expended like the Messenger of Allah for a while what else and he told us that Allah continued to test the believer that the sin for often just like leaves for off the tree, until a person could be walking on the earth with not one thing left. Not one seniors on their bodies upon law by their trial. And we don't know like somehow a person yet, like we said before I send zakra who say and when we're fighting back home, that a lot by his rosmah. He shows you for his misfortune, that you could reach a level in Ghana, that you would never have been able to reach it by your rabada.

00:45:37--> 00:45:50

Because we said in the manual saw the Rona as wrong, BYD, he said, who can read and that American bad that it takes to reach that level that as a submarine has, somehow it's not easy to be able to do that much data.

00:45:51--> 00:45:57

And we all remember that beautiful story about that black lady upon a law who was afflicted with

00:46:00--> 00:46:00

epilepsy,

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and epilepsy upon a law like in a time of the harbor, this is after the time of the Prophet sallallahu sallam.

00:46:09--> 00:46:15

Even at best, he said to a thought one of the second, he said, shall I not show you a woman of paradise.

00:46:16--> 00:46:56

And she's still walking on the face of the earth. He said, shall not show you a word of paradise. He said, who he said that lady over there, like you might think she's insignificant. She hasn't looked at anyone special. But he told him to Panama, that this lady, she has epilepsy. And she came to the Prophet for a long while instead of asking him to make a security how to cure her. So the Messenger of Allah, that a lot of what was said, and he said, if you wish I can make to offer you to be cured. And if you wish I can, you know, or if you wish, you can be patient. And you're rewarding. Jana. So do you think you're on to law, I will be patient with my misfortune, because she wants Jana that

00:46:56--> 00:47:35

kind of she's ready to sacrifice her comfort, she'd prefer to have the sickness than to be deprived from Jana. Right? And to Panama. So she just did that yada yada so low because of her hair yet, because of her shyness. She said, but just make to offer me that when I have the epileptic fit, that a law covers me and doesn't allow my body to become uncovered. Because once upon and after that, they said every time she had an epileptic fit, she never became uncovered for Panama. So So this is, you know, this is this is the patience upon bar. And this is the reward. But I want to finish off by mentioning a story that I saw that really impacted me, which was a family member, which was actually

00:47:35--> 00:48:03

my brother in law, Elijah Hamill. I mean, somehow, just to show you what the amazing effect that these trials can have the rough Marvel law on a believer that my brother in law is the panel law, let me say from the beginning that he was not a patient person to begin with, okay, at all. So just shows you what a person can achieve when they come back to a law. So he wasn't by nature as a patient person at all right? But then when a lot of times Allah afflicted him with a brain tumor,

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he got a city with a brain tumor. Now this tumor, he had a number of operations on his head to remove this brain tumor sisters.

00:48:12--> 00:48:51

In the end, he said, I don't want any more operation just leave me to Allah. I can't he can't take it anymore. It's too much for him. This men history it is all sisters, over six foot, a strong man. Okay, a strong man in the prime of his years. It's still the you know, the prime. And the paralyzed. This is what happened to him is slowly, slowly, slowly. A lot of times I took away his sensation, it started in his face. And until it reached up to his head, so he ended up he ended up as one and a half years, something like one and a half years he was paralyzed, lying in a bed, pantry, anything. Right? then not only that system,

00:48:52--> 00:48:53

he went blind.

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So he couldn't even think for seven months. He couldn't even say,

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the Panama system, this man the transformation, I thought it was incredible that how he started off and where he came from that trial that Allah blessed him with and I'll say it was a true blessing. What he It was a true blessing that Allah bestowed upon him. Because if you see the patience that he he came into a state of patience, which was, it was it was truly like a miracle to power to see the patients that he had. The level that the brothers went towards the end of his life, the brothers went to go talk to him, remind him to try to make him patient. They none of them could ever meet a client because when they come in the room, he's just lying there saying the hell no luck with the

00:49:38--> 00:49:59

HoloLens. And he's got he's coming down to his eyes and saying that whole roller coaster over and over and over again, just saying that and for Panama that the brothers that were so affected by his his complete, you know, how can I say, the admission to this trial, and then the power loss how his life ended was my husband's reading CPS

00:50:00--> 00:50:07

For him as he's dying, and he says the Panama what happened was, he saw like, he was just breathing and then just like,

00:50:08--> 00:50:43

just like that the soul came out so easy and so gently to Panama, you didn't even feel it. And then my husband said to Paula, he went completely white in one minute, he went completely white, just like that. They said to Barack Obama, he looked like a like, like, he looked beautiful, and I'm gonna show love to Barack Obama. And when I watched him, even check out the plan. He said, he couldn't believe how like this man was, he was so like, despite he's over six foot. So so I think they took that on as LMS and all I can show signs of good but I'm just showing you that what patients can do per person and how their child can be a blessing even though you might not like it,

00:50:43--> 00:51:00

that Allah loves, you know, as as messenger of Allah, Allah, Allah is more merciful to a person than their own mother. Alive, more merciful to you than your own mother, you don't realize it. You know, what would you do for your child you know, it's Panama. So this is what I want to end up my my speech today, these sisters