Tom Facchine – Riyadh al-Saliheen and Women’s Q&A #24

Tom Facchine
AI: Summary © The historical context and meaning of Hadith's hadith are discussed, including his wrath, mercy, and charity. The warrior's wrath is seen as a son of God and his mercy is seen as a son of the earth. The speakers emphasize the importance of laughter and treating one another. The speakers also discuss the historical significance of prophets and the use of god in people's minds, including the requirement to handle people from advice to relationship. The importance of marriage and divorce is emphasized, along with the need for a new marriage contract to avoid abuse and exploiting women. The speakers emphasize the importance of complete information and a legal process for divorce, and end with a brief advertisement for a class and a class after.
AI: Transcript ©
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This 100 electronical Alameen wa salatu salam ala Ashraful and the most serene venum of the Latina Muhammad Ali of little Surah Oscar Tasneem Allahumma Island that'd be Megan founder when fatten and be my ilm, Tina was even arraignment the out of the army.

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So today we have the last Hadith in the chapter that we're in we're in the second chapter of the book on Toba.

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Hadith number 24 for the book,

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I will who writer on the Allahu Anhu said that the messenger of allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, Allah azza wa jal laughs

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about two men,

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one of whom kills the other. And yet both of them end up in paradise.

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One fights feasable Allah in the way of Allah and as killed

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then Allah turns toward the killer

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who then accepts Islam

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himself and is later martyred.

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That's a Friday that's agreed upon.

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In both Sahih Muslim and Sahil Bihari

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what are the lessons from this hadith

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as that is in the first

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sentence, Allah laughs

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whatever the Prophet salallahu Salam, or Allah tells us something about Allah tells us some information

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about either who Allah is

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or what Allah does.

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It is significant.

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It's not just filler. It's not just small talk. It's not just, you know, incidental information. Everything that's mentioned, is extremely purposeful.

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So this hadith begins with something interesting, that Allah laughs laughter is something that allows power to Allah does. It's part of his activity. It's part of who he is.

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That he would laugh at something.

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What that teaches us about a lot of one of the things that this teaches or even better yet symbolizes about Allah's power to Allah

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is something that he himself said in a hadith glitzy that My Mercy outstrips my wrath.

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That allows power to oughta. Yes, he's merciful. And yes, he has out martial law, there's color.

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And yes, he has wrath. He does. He needs both of those qualities. Right, he has to have mercy.

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If people a certain type of people are going to be treated fair, the people who are sincere the people who believe the people who tried their best bla means to have mercy if he's going to be fair to those people.

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But Allah also means to have wrath. He needs wrath to be able to deal with the people

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and justly take care of the tyrants the people who

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make life impossible for other people who oppress other people.

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So he needs both of these qualities. However, Allah is found to oughta.

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Everything that he tells us is very intentional.

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A lost power to other didn't mention the fact that he's merciful with the same frequency, for example,

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as he did

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or he didn't mention His wrath with the same frequency as he did his mercy. Allah spouts out I chose to begin every single chapter in the Quran except for one of them. That's 113 out of 114 with Bismillah R Rahman Rahim in the Name of Allah, the Most two different types of Mercy Rahman Rahim

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if Allah is repeating over and over and over again Rahman Rahim, ramen Raheem Muhammad Rahim.

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And once in a while he slips in. Yes, he also has wrath. Which do you think is more important than

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For you to meditate upon, which do you think is more essential? Information? Which do you think Allah is telling you? is more important to keep in mind?

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Do you think the last patata is telling you that it's more important to keep his wrath in mind? Or is it more important to keep his mercy in mind?

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Yes, His mercy is more important.

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His mercy affects everything, even his wrath.

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Because honestly, the creation deserves a lot more wrath from Allah than I will ever see.

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And even Allah's wrath and punishment for the tyrants and oppressors

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is a bomb

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is justice and mercy for the oppressed and the people who are wronged.

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So Allah wants you to know that his mercy is far greater than his wrath, and as far greater than his anger and is symbolized in his activity here of laughter. Almost Pousada laughs

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Allah subhanaw taala is not this big, mean guy in the sky, which regrettably, is often the image that mainstream culture gives to a deity, God monotheistic religion.

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He's not this Zeus figure, right? This is kind of inherited from Greek mythology, this Zeus figure who's just watching over ready with the thunderbolt and hand to strike you down. The second that you slip up.

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Allah has reminded reminded us he's a rock man, and Rahim.

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He laughs He's a dude, and you carry.

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He's not out to get you, he's not going to hold you.

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Or label you, according to the worst thing that you ever did.

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Allah says in the Quran,

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he says for the people who believe he will reward them according to the best that they did.

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This is something that people cannot possibly practice in a way that a law practice is it if you have a relationship with a human being

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10 years, 15 years, even if the majority of that relationship was you know, milk and honey was sweet was fun was peaceful. If they make one horrible mistake,

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if they do one extremely hurtful thing to you?

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How are we going to treat that person?

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Are we going to treat that person according to all the great things that they did? Or are we probably going to have that one really painful thing that they did to us affect how we treat them? Yes, that's human nature. And it's not necessarily wrong. Don't get me Don't get me wrong here. This is a difference between people and Allah.

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We can't possibly sustain that sort of mercy and charity.

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Somebody betrays our trust, they go behind our back, they do something that hurts us. And that's going to color the way that we treat that person for a long time. It's going to take them a long time to build that trust back up.

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However, last pound, the other told us in the Koran that he's going to treat us he's going to brand us and label us according to the best that we ever were. The best version of ourselves, the best things that we ever did.

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And all those times when you weren't your best self when you failed to live up

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to a previous high standard that you had set.

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As long as you were earnest as long as you were sincere, Allah is going to overlook that

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his mercy outstrips His wrath.

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Allah laughs

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Allah also said in the Quran, that for the people who believe

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he's going to this is something that floors me every single time. He's not just going to overlook we know a lot is that I feel and one of the particular shades of I feel as opposed to elbow fall, or elbow for or Alafaya is that I feel is an overlooking, right? So overlooking is is again, one of these practices that's very hard for people to live by.

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Think about your spouse's, right. Think about your children.

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You know, it's funny because it's true. Like, if, if your husband's job is to do the dishes

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or to

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whatever to fold the laundry, or to take out the trash. Okay?

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The one time that he doesn't do it, are you going to let him hear about

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okay, maybe you're a saint.

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And though if he just slips up once, you won't let him hear about it. MashAllah tomato Cola, you're the elite. What if he does it twice? Three times he forgets.

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You're gonna let him hear about it. You're gonna be in his ear. And oh, if you did your chores, and he didn't do his will, he's gonna really hear it.

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That's how we treat each other as human beings. Is that how Allah treats us?

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Subhan Allah.

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Allah overlooks he is an awful which is why we petition Allah with this particular name and this particular dua so much in Ramadan.

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Allah Houma indica and said, to hit that awful fight for Anna, you say certainly you are the overlocker. Right?

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You love to overlook so overlook our sin. This is how Allah treats ups. But this is something so that was just a build up to this something which is even more merciful than that.

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Allah promised us promised us in the Koran, that if we believe if we're sincere, and we try our best, he's not only going to overlook our evil deeds, he's going to transform our evil deeds into good deeds.

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What can we possibly think about in this life that's equivalent to that?

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That's like, catching your husband's, you know, totally not doing his chores. Totally dropping the ball, maybe even making your chores more difficult, right? He's leaving dishes everywhere. He's a wrinkle on the clothes, whatever he's doing. Right?

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And then you not only you not only overlook it

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but you find a way to praise him about it

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we're gonna make

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Mashallah. We have some. We have we have a full house today.

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That has no precedents. I don't know anybody who acts like that. And that's not a human trait. To be quite frank. This is a divine treat, to be able to do to be able to have so much mercy and so much forgiveness and so much love. That he does that for the people who try. That's Allah He laughs He's a fool rocking. He's a rock man, Rahim. He's a dude. Okay.

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the last two things that Allah Allah is laughter reminds us of and a fulfillment of His promise that his mercy outstrips His wrath

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is that He promised us I believe in sorts on the SAT, that whoever avoids the major sins, talking about big stuff, the big bad since then Allah will automatically take care of and wipe away the minor sins, the things that we do every day, every single day, none, not a single one of us doesn't commit a minor sin. I'm confident and if that's not true, if one of you does Masha Allah,

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we need to find out what you're doing. And we need to learn from you sit at your feet because

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I'm the first one.

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But the last one to Allah if we avoid the big stuff, if we avoid the big stuff, Allah is going to take care of the small stuff. And a corollary of that Allah has placed ritual worship in our lives to automatically take care of that. So from Federer to over and over to answer and asteroids and Margaret and mothering to a shark. And from July to Joomla, and from Ramona, Tamra. All of these sorts of things, Allah has placed so many automatic restarts right system updates, if you will, to use a technology a technology metaphor that once a certain sort of devotion has been completed, Allah wipes the slate clean, without you having to do anything, wipes it clean, wipes it clean,

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wipes it clean, to the point where if you were a sincere believer and you try your best on the Day of Judgment, Inshallah, you're going to get to the reckoning, you're going to stand in front of Allah. Your book will be open and you're going to look for certain things.

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that you thought were going to be there and they will have been erased because the last file to Otto has taken the liberty of erasing them for you.

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So, that's one of the main lessons that we learned from this hadith the Mercy of Allah subhanaw taala symbolized in his laughter. Okay, we don't need to think too hard about Allah's laughing It shouldn't pose this theological problem for us. The prophets of Allah, Allah has told us that he laughs He laughs We don't need to think about how he laughs We don't need to think about is his laughter like our laughter, all of that stuff is missing the forest for the trees. Right? It's not getting the point. The point is that allows pilots out there laughs and he laughs because of his goodwill towards us and because He loves us, and because his mercy outstrips His wrath.

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So we can compare this hadith to a hadith that we had studied earlier, there was another scenario where two people were each in the hellfire, right in the chapter on intention, both of them trying to fight each other.

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Does anyone remember why they were both in hellfire? You can either use the chat or unmute unmute yourself. There was an earlier Hadith that we had studied not too long ago.

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Yes, exactly. They were both Muslims. And they wanted to kill each other one of them killed one. And so he was guilty of killing his Muslim brother.

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And then the other one was intent upon killing his Muslim brother. And so since actions are by intentions, then they both have the same punishment.

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And just because by the way, just because they went to the Hellfire doesn't mean that they're going to stay there forever. The majority view in Anisimova Jamaat is that the believers, even the worst of them, will go into the Hellfire for a limited amount of time, until they have paid their due, at which point they will be removed and put into paradise in sha Allah.

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But this is a different scenario. This is somebody who's fighting with a pure intention. They're fighting in the way of Allah, there's a tyrant. He's not allowing people to practice Islam. He's punishing the people of faith for no good reason. And they're fighting army to army, like, you know, combat into combatant. And then what happens, what happens is

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the believer is killed.

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He's in paradise, because he's a martyr, then what happens? A lot turns tab.

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A lot of turns to the killer.

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Who then is guided along turns to him forgive some guides him.

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And he accepts Islam and also, eventually, is martyred in a similar way. So Allah laughs because he were these two people, they were enemies, and look at how quickly

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the situation can change with a loss pounce on being the agent of that change.

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This is why Ali or the Allahu Anhu used to say, don't hate anybody too much.

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And don't love anybody too much.

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Because the person you hate today could be your best friend tomorrow. And the people the person that you love today could be your worst enemy tomorrow.

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Allah subhanaw taala

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he does something. Again, that's completely divine here. And we don't find it among people.

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We would expect that a lost power to auto would be angry at the person who who killed his servant who killed his slave. Somebody who is fighting Jihad according to all of the conditions of jihad, it's a perfectly just war. They're a believer, the other person is fighting against belief fighting against the Muslims.

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They've committed such a horrible crime.

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And what does Allah do? Does Allah strike them down immediately with a thunderbolt? Does he cause the earth to quake underneath of his feet and split and swallow him up?

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Tab Ani,

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a lost power to ALLAH turns to him and guides him

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and ends up creating so much blessing and good because of that, instead of punishing what would have what would punishing him have accomplished compared to guiding him and making him an example and we have so many stories like this in the history. Exactly the prophets of Allah holiness Salam Rama was one of the big ones definitely, even others such as Abu Sofia, such as Hynde, people that in common parlance, you know, like we all see the movie.

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What is it we Santa? You know where

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Oh hidden sends wagashi to kill assassinate Hamza right and then we're kind of left with this Oh hand oh like oh man she's the the villainous she's the bad guy right him accepted Islam and died as a Muslim

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right and so did I will Sophia

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so did the acronym ah, even Abby Johanna the son of Abuja and Khalid even I will need and all these other companions. Alright, that took some time, Allah did this same thing that he says in this hadith, he did it with many companions, they fought and fought a fight against Islam and then Allah instead of causing them Yes, Allah cause some of them to die. Because the last battle is Allah knew.

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And always knew who was going to be guided and who wasn't going to be who was sincere and who was insincere.

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And so some of them, he struck down at better. Some of them he struck down a hood, but then others, others, he chose to turn to them and guide them and accept their repentance and forgive them.

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Guidance is part of a laws provision. And frankly, it's some of the best provision that we can get. Because whether we have the things that we want the material things we want, or the success that we want.

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All of it comes to nothing. Without the day without guidance. It's all a waste. And it's all put to waste.

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The last comment before we move on to Kitab Pollock is that from this hadith, we see that Islam wipes away sin, right?

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If somebody becomes a Muslim, if somebody accepts faith, then it wipes out the sin of their previous lives

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to something that's well known, and something that you know, Hamdulillah, we have two converts, and in attendance tonight, one of them me.

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But one thing that doesn't get mentioned, and this I think is important to keep in mind, when you're dealing with converts, and Hamdulillah, we have a surprising amount of converts in our community is that accepting Islam yes erases the sin of what has passed, but it doesn't erase habits.

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It doesn't by itself transform

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that individual yet, that individual might have certain things that are carrying over from their previous life and things that are going to take time to struggle and deal with. Let's throw out a dramatic example. Somebody is addicted to drugs.

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They accept the snap and hamdulillah the sin of all the past has gone 100% No doubt.

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But that person is still an addict. That person still needs help. That person still needs patience. Right? And every other sort of habit and lifestyle and even ideology thing, habits of thought, habits of the heart. They're all there.

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And so people need to be treated with gentleness and patience. And people need to be befriended. Somebody asked me the other day,

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a question along the lines of, you know, how do you think that older converts?

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or older Muslims, Muslims with more experience can best advise new Muslims?

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And I thought about it. And what I ended up saying was that Well, I think that it might be helpful to shift our relationship or to shift our framework

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to dealing with new Muslims from advice to relationship.

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Because conference, they are bombarded with advice, some of it good, some of it bad. And they don't really know how to differentiate between the two. Whereas what they really, really, really need and really crave for the most nourishing thing that you can give them is a loving friendship

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and loving relationship, feasts of vanilla in the way of Allah. They don't have to be your favorite person. You don't have to have a lot in common. Right.

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But if you're befriending somebody for the sake of Allah, you're not doing it for what you're going to get out of it anyway. You're doing it to please Allah subhanaw taala.

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Any comments, questions about the Hadith before moving on to divorce?

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Not a fun topic but unnecessary one.

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Last class, we had kind of just talked in broad strokes about the book of divorce, how it's kind of structured.

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We talked about the points of scholarly consensus.

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Some of those bear repeating, and they're going to have an effect on a couple of things that we're going to talk about tonight. So I will repeat them. And they also clue us into

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Will you talk about em?

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I think you hit the enter enter key.

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No problem. Yeah. I'm just like with

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marriage, where are we talking about marriage? We had

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larger purposes. Okay, behind certain institutions, we have the institution of dowry, and the institution of Allah Wilaya, right. Guardianship, we have the institution of witnesses.

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we discussed the wisdom

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behind those institutions, about how they were there to secure rights.

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We're going to see a very similar thing in divorce. But first, we'll deal with Dana's question, defining major sin Yes.

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No, no problem. A major sin is a sin that requires a specific act of repentance in order to be forgiven.

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Okay, that's looking at the result.

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Whereas a minor sin is something that can be forgiven without you even asking for it. All those automatic things.

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devils in the details. Yes, exactly. How do we tell?

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How do we tell this is a more useful question for our purposes. What's the difference for which which category the sin fits in?

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Even the scholars disagree about that.

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Many scholars say that

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if a sin

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is assigned a specific punishment,

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either in the Koran or in the Sunnah,

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then it is something that is a major sin.

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Similarly, the WHO dude punishments, right, like the sins that have punishments within Islamic law,

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criminal law, I mean, these are also major sins, you're fornication, adultery, burglary, highway robbery, or banditry. I don't think any of you have to worry about that.

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One of the other major ones,

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hurting others can yes can be in major sin, especially if it is gossip.

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Right? Remember, recall all the Hadith you've heard about with the prophesy, Saddam is walking with jabariya.

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And they're passing through kind of this preview of the afterlife. And the Prophet SAW Saddam is seeing people experiencing horrifying torments and punishments. And the prophesy said, I'm asks, What did this person do? What did that person do, and to real tells them, this is the person that was the gossip, this is the person that et cetera, et cetera, these are sorts of these are major sins, because there's a specific, there's a specific punishment attached to them.

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And that's the most useful kind of

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technique for categorization that I have found if you're coming across a hadith or something from the Quran. And you see a specific punishment attached to it. So and so we'll be doing this in the afterlife or this and this awaits them then that is a major sin. So hurting others can can be included in that depending on the type of hurt and the any intention. But the type of hurt something like gossip and slander, yes. 100% major sin

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Allah set compares it to eating the live flesh or the dead the dead flesh of your brother or sister and sorrows of herds at odds, which is another indication that it's a major sin

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does that

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I know that's not completely satisfactory. But is that somewhat satisfactory?

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I mean, what Yeah.

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And the Prophet SAW is Saddam had a technique for kind of saving himself from

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Of course, he didn't commit any major sins. But He taught us how to pray, and how to partition a lot. And he taught us certain formulas that are specific and have important uses. So the prophesy said, I'm used to ask for forgiveness for sins that he knew about and sins that he did not know about. Right? Because it might happen, especially some of the more

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the trickier, more subtle, major sins such as gossip and slander, that you could commit one and not even remember that you did it. And this is something that's yeah, that's a little bit scary. And so the prophesy, Saddam instructed us to make this type of dua, where you're asking Allah to forgive you for the sins that you've committed. And the ones excuse me for the summit, the sins that you are aware of and the sins that you're not aware of.

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Okay, so, back to divorce.

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Divorce happens,

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according to the Sunnah.

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Okay, back up one step further. If marriage if the point of marriage is to create the optimal atmosphere for raising children, that's the point of marriage. Yes, it is. It's not just about staring into each other's eyes for eternity. It's not about, you know, love is love. It's not about all these slogans we have it is, and this is statistical, you can, you know, like it doesn't have to do with faith necessarily, to create the optimal situation in which to raise children.

00:31:35 --> 00:31:45

To make each party have enough skin in the game, have enough of a stake in the relationship that neither of them can just run away at the first sign of distress or difficult.

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This is the point of marriage, balance of rights and obligations, all those sorts of things.

00:31:52 --> 00:32:03

If the point of marriage is to provide the optimal situation or environment to raise children, then it admits or implies that there might be a situation

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where there is a marriage in form, but not in substance, that there is a marriage that does not meet this intended need.

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That is not in the best interest of the children and actually is more harmful to the children

00:32:23 --> 00:32:46

than the absence of this marriage. Yes, that is possible. It happens. That doesn't mean that's the rule. That doesn't mean that's the majority of the time. But it is possible. And since it is possible, then there needs to be an escape valve, there needs to be a way out of this contract, there needs to be a way out of this relationship. And that's why we have divorce, the son of divorce,

00:32:47 --> 00:32:49

the right way to do divorce,

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is to make a announcement of divorce

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when the woman or when the wife is not on her period, not pregnant. And when the man has not slept with her since her last period.

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Those three things.

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Any one of these things is violated? You're talking about the DA, you're talking about an innovated divorce practice. And the scholars have differing opinions as to whether it even counts or not as a valid divorce depending on which one we're talking about.

00:33:30 --> 00:33:34

Why? Why these sorts of conditions.

00:33:35 --> 00:33:49

Because people are hasty. Because people say things that they don't mean. And because people don't always realize what they have until it's gone.

00:33:51 --> 00:33:56

So because of that Allah structured divorce in a very particular way.

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It must be done.

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When the woman is not on her period when she's not pregnant.

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And when she is

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she has not been slept with in that period since since her last period.

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Once the vorse is announced,

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then a clock starts ticking.

00:34:26 --> 00:34:34

It is a three month clock. Okay, that is calibrated to her menstruation cycle.

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If three menstrual cycles pass

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without any intimacy, no sleeping together without any verbal, taking her back or taking each other back or reconciliation.

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Then by the expiration of the clock when she is finished her third period. The divorce is final

00:35:00 --> 00:35:02

What we mean by final

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is that it requires now a new marriage contract in order to become husband and wife again

00:35:15 --> 00:35:24

this entire process of waiting three months and divorce, and then doing a new marriage contract can happen.

00:35:26 --> 00:35:27

I should say, two times.

00:35:29 --> 00:35:46

And then the third time, let's say for example, there's a valid divorce, and then it's finalized, like three months, after three months it's finalized, then they have a new marriage contract, they get back together, then another divorce three months, it's finalized, then

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they do it again, we'll get there good question.

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The third time that they come back together, if they announce a divorce, then

00:36:02 --> 00:36:03

in that case,

00:36:04 --> 00:36:06

then there is

00:36:07 --> 00:36:14

no possibility to come back together with a new marriage contract until

00:36:16 --> 00:36:19

the woman marries somebody else first.

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Why did Allah do such a thing? What's the point of this within divorce law, it's so that men will not abuse

00:36:30 --> 00:36:34

the institution of divorce, to keep women on a string

00:36:35 --> 00:36:37

and exploit them or control them.

00:36:38 --> 00:36:47

Right. That's also the reason or the wisdom behind the one of the pieces of wisdom behind the three months to give you time.

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Allah says Allah, Allah, Allah, you have to go back to that camera, Perhaps Allah will bring something good out of it.

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Three months is a long time, reconciliation can happen within three months.

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In three, the another purpose is to ascertain whether the woman is pregnant or not. Which is why a simple act of intimacy

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is good enough to completely wipe away that announcement of divorce.

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Because what Allah doesn't want that to have happen

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is if

00:37:28 --> 00:37:33

a divorce is made, and then a couple separates, and then they find out that she's pregnant.

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A lot does not want that to happen. And so he gives people three months to think about it. If they stay away from each other for three months, if they haven't reconciled or taken each other back,

00:37:45 --> 00:37:54

then, okay, the divorce is finalized. But everybody needs to have complete information before they decide to go along with this thing.

00:37:55 --> 00:38:08

And so you're given time to see what is in the womb, you're given time to think it over, you're given plenty of opportunity to make up and reconcile Allah would prefer

00:38:09 --> 00:38:14

that there are weak Hadith from the province. I said, I'm they're not authentic, but they are weak,

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that indicate that divorce is a necessary thing to have. It's there for a reason. But it's not the best. Obviously, if it's possible to reconcile if it's possible to fix and mend the relationship, that is going to be the preferable thing 99% of the time. And so a lot of the way that the divorce law is structured, it facilitates that process of reconciliation. Another point, which we'll come to later is that the wife has to stay in, except in exceptional cases of abuse and things like that. The wife is required to stay in the house with the husband, he can't go to fly somewhere else and or send her back to her parents through this what's called the waiting period, when they're waiting to

00:39:05 --> 00:39:25

see if reconciliation is going to happen or not. Nope, they have to live together as long as there's no physical or emotional abuse, because it's going to give them an opportunity to come back together. And Allah would prefer that they come back together in earnest, not in a manipulative way, but in earnest, then to go their separate ways.

00:39:27 --> 00:39:28

That is pretty much

00:39:31 --> 00:39:44

taken taking us to the end of our time as for menopause, they have a different waiting period. Same with pregnant women, pregnant women have a different waiting period to we're going to get into all that inshallah next class or the class after. So

00:39:46 --> 00:39:56

obviously, women who are pregnant, even though okay, we said that if you're not allowed to divorce someone while they're pregnant, or while they're on there.

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They're there they have their period.

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If they do, does it take place? Does it Is that a valid divorce? And if so, what's the waiting period? These are all issues that we're going to get into inshallah soon enough.

00:40:12 --> 00:40:19

But I often go over time in this class and so I want to respect your time. Does anybody have any other questions about what we covered?

00:40:36 --> 00:40:44

Okay, everybody have a great night in sha Allah, and I'll see you next time. A lot of data on it. I said I'm like

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no worries about your pick. I'm sorry for this office. I have the very when I was anything I apologize about it's, it's this mess behind.

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00:40:55 --> 00:40:55

said I want to

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