The Example Of Women In Islam By 2 Of 2

Tawfique Chowdhury

Channel: Tawfique Chowdhury

Topics: Women

Episode Notes

share this pageShare Page

Episode Transcript

© No part of this transcript may be copied or referenced or transmitted in any way whatsoever. Transcripts are auto-generated and thus will be be inaccurate. We are working on a system to allow volunteers to edit transcripts in a controlled system.


00:00:00--> 00:00:08

That was giving you better than I said no, not even better than her. Verily, Allah has blessed me with Allah.

00:00:09--> 00:00:10

Allah,

00:00:11--> 00:00:13

we also find from the manners of

00:00:14--> 00:00:56

being with your wife and being good to her, is to actually overlook her mistakes, because everyone makes mistakes, human beings, you know, they're human beings. And as we know, that have been states that women were created from, from a crooked grip, and the most crooked of all of a crooked grip is the top part of them. So we know that the women are actually more emotional than men. At the same time, you know, just that women are more emotional, they are more softer and gentler as well, in many ways. So just like they have a deficiency in one part of their emotions, they make it up with a greatness or perfection, another type of emotion. And so in the same way, as men, for example, could

00:00:56--> 00:01:36

be logical in their understanding, and more and less emotional about certain topics. At the same time, they make it up a bit by actually importing other things such as in controlling their desires, or controlling their hands, or controlling their eyes. And so we find that in reality, men and women, they have different different emotional dispositions, we find that most of them used to forgive his wives, I used to overlook the mistakes that we used to do. In fact, in one generation, we find that that actually love it on one's own sentimental level, she actually bought a plate of food for schools, and his companions. So I showed them the

00:01:37--> 00:01:59

Muslim in Bali, she came with a hatchet with a big stone, she saw that plate. Remember, this is in front of all the companions. Or imagine if your wife did this in front of your, your mates, and he's had a lot. And he came with this big stone sub plate of food, and went back and brought the brought the plate in half. So

00:02:03--> 00:02:03

I

00:02:04--> 00:02:09

was amazed at this, at this, this thing that I showed a lot of it. And so

00:02:10--> 00:02:12

he went into it.

00:02:14--> 00:02:18

He took her plate, her plate, and told the companions kulu

00:02:21--> 00:02:29

say, he said, even your mothers have have even your mother's of jealousy, mother's of jealousy. So he took that plate and he went to

00:02:31--> 00:02:35

you know her plate, take her plate because she will broke your plate.

00:02:37--> 00:02:39

So if I'm forgiving, I

00:02:41--> 00:02:43

will also find also some joking with her and telling her

00:02:45--> 00:02:50

telling her when she used to get angry telling her how she gets angry. So someone's inauthentic.

00:02:51--> 00:02:56

He said, Well, I know when you get angry at me, this is also some telling, I should

00:02:57--> 00:03:06

I know when you get angry at me. So I she said, How do you know how you get in? Tell me how I get angry? What is it that I do? So

00:03:07--> 00:03:17

that when you get angry, when you're happy with me, you say we swear by let's say I swear by the Lord of kindness. But when you get angry at me, you say I swear by the Lord.

00:03:21--> 00:03:37

It's amazing. And another another narration which is not effective, but the companions use it, but scholars use it as a witness. They said they say that sometimes I used to say that you're doing this, and you call yourself a prophet.

00:03:38--> 00:03:39

So sometimes

00:03:41--> 00:03:47

you do this Muslim, you do this, you call yourself a chef, you do this and you call yourself.

00:03:49--> 00:03:54

You do this and you think you're religious, you just you do this and you think you're knowledgeable.

00:03:55--> 00:04:08

Sometimes, they say, so learn to forgive them and overlook this mistake. It's no big deal. Also something that and he taught us how to do it in Java, so we can, we can also overlook it. And also forgive them

00:04:11--> 00:04:33

by another way that was sold as a seller is to be with his wives was to actually joke with them as well. So you would joke with his wives. In fact, we find in one of the narrations in necessity, again, a third generation male 50% of the value is that little solar system once was going on a travel trip with his

00:04:35--> 00:04:59

arm. And he was in this in this trouble with going to a battle. And on the way on the way. He told some of his companions go forward, keep going forward, go for me go forward in front of me. Then he said that he states that he took I showed the lever down from the camel. And she said Run with me. Maybe let's have a race. So he actually had a race and I should have been

00:05:00--> 00:05:00

actually

00:05:02--> 00:05:08

came first. So she actually did the services a couple of years later the same thing happened.

00:05:11--> 00:05:25

Yes, he told his competitors go forward go forward, and to actually learn down. And I should say, this is when I had actually put on more weight. So I actually ran with it. And this time he defeated me. And he said, he smiled at me and said, this is for them.

00:05:28--> 00:05:47

To joke with, as well. Also another direction, we find that, that I should have allowed her once she had cooked something she had cooked the same salad again. And she wanted to actually give Sophia the wife also some some of that some of that food. And at that point,

00:05:48--> 00:05:56

again, remember a lot of the things I'm saying from the side, because you want to really learn about how to be with your, with your wife, properly, look at also

00:05:58--> 00:06:31

living with your wife in the public sector living with your wife in a say, because it contains a lot of authentic ideas, which are very unique and very amazing, beautiful. In this in this happy? I'm so delighted that she was sitting down in a house, she had made a coupe somebody and Sophia Villanueva had come in and actually said, eat from this food. She said, No, I'm not going to eat. So I said, What are you going to eat? Okay, so what are you gonna do? And Sophia said, No, I'm not. So I should cook some food like this, have a snack and through

00:06:32--> 00:06:35

and through it on an actually hit

00:06:37--> 00:06:39

on our head that we're gonna have a food fight here, right?

00:06:41--> 00:06:42

It wasn't a food fight.

00:06:43--> 00:06:49

At that point, at that point, he looked at it. And he took the food off Sophia,

00:06:50--> 00:06:51

head and neck on.

00:06:53--> 00:07:10

Okay, so any love any job. So this is this is how they were joking and laughing. Obviously, please don't have food fights. It's not right. I'm sure when they were throwing everything around, eventually. But don't, don't steal food, don't waste food, please.

00:07:11--> 00:07:12

From the things that

00:07:15--> 00:07:26

also used to do for his wife, as well is that he would help out in the house, as the ninth thing that I mentioned is that he would help out in the house. And this is something which is specific

00:07:28--> 00:07:35

to all the difficulties that he went went on. And after looking at The Omen would come back home, and also look after

00:07:36--> 00:08:12

the house. This does not mean that the wife should or should not start expecting from their husbands or their husbands that need to do all the housework. No, I'm sure our respective sisters and honorable sisters understand that that what we mean here is that they should not really visit their husbands with housework, but at least they should know that their husband should also still help them and that they should expect their husbands to help them in whatever little way that they can. And the husbands must have the medicine Sharla to actually helped us the wives in the housework each other to the best of their ability each other any if the dishes need to be done sometimes, or the

00:08:12--> 00:08:41

you know, the army needs to be done sometimes or watching needs to be done. Sometimes you should, you should go ahead and go ahead and do it. And we want you expect your wife to go on with the with the pressure of the closer something which the husband should be doing. Okay. Another point that also was so nice to do when he was with his wives is that he will actually take their advice, you will actually take the advice in the mechanism phase one. And this is an important point. Allah says, What shall we

00:08:42--> 00:09:21

take advice? Does anyone know to whom this verse was revealed? This verse was revealed through a solar system, meaning this verse was revealed to someone who is not so permitting error is someone who cannot make a mistake or someone slipped in the beam, you cannot make a mistake indeed. So this verse has been revealed to someone who cannot make a mistake to take advice from someone who can make mistakes, the companions or sources. So this therefore shows the importance of someone like us who can make mistakes, to take advice from other people as well. Who can make mistakes as well. Because someone who is now so is ordered to take advice, that indeed someone that just as as well,

00:09:21--> 00:09:33

who is full of mistakes must also take advice. This is one of the sources that you should seek the advice and counsel of his wives as well. We find that authentic hadith in Muslim in a Muslim

00:09:34--> 00:09:36

serve at the time of freedom.

00:09:37--> 00:09:46

When the companions were disappointed that they could not complete their obrah. At that point it was your system went inside the tent, and at the end, we looked disappointed.

00:09:48--> 00:09:59

Also load is a matter and also said I've told them that a lot of scientific data and they are not they're unhappy. customers aren't happy about this, even though a lot of

00:10:00--> 00:10:03

Panama Canal revealed reverse at that point, you know what verse infields

00:10:04--> 00:10:05

in

00:10:06--> 00:10:18

Cambodia, very we have given you a tremendous victory, Allah had called the Treaty of davia in which the Muslims in western sources will agree to give up.

00:10:20--> 00:10:25

And it was the came from marketing media to give up any any any any

00:10:26--> 00:10:40

character that wanted to take refuge with the solar system from from, from Croatia, you give them a brochure, something of so many things, he also said that they will go back they will not complete already this year. And they agreed with the correction then that is

00:10:43--> 00:11:04

zero, he gave up I think, and he gave up many, many things, which are from the rights of the Muslims, yet Allah has called this a great victory. Why because truly, it was a great victory because couple of years after that, because of the piece that they haven't seen themselves is that wasn't allowed to spread. And it shouldn't overtook the numbers that they were able to take over in a shorter amount of time.

00:11:07--> 00:11:33

So this is the reason why we're supposed to enter into the house and you found the people not doing it. So instead of a Savior soda, you go out you swallow a camel and you shave your head is wondering camel initiated in it. And at that point, inshallah, unless I'm sure that people will follow you. So this is what he did. He went out, he shaved his head, and he saw the camel and people follow the advice, by the way, just as a point of what the benefit everybody. Does anyone know how to start a channel?

00:11:36--> 00:11:46

Yeah, then there are three ways in which you can you can you can do in Islam, the first way is by actually putting the animals to the ground and actually cutting them that

00:11:47--> 00:11:53

this is this what you do for anything, the size of a cow and anything smaller.

00:11:54--> 00:12:10

The second thing is that you do with the animal the size of the giraffe, or the size of size of a camel and above to the giraffe, for example, because you're allowed to eat, how do you take, we take a dagger you come from the side, this is the neck,

00:12:13--> 00:12:16

neck of the camel, right? You come from the side

00:12:17--> 00:12:27

and stab it where the neck meets the body. And you started over here and then the blood, the blood will flow. And this is the second way of actually

00:12:28--> 00:12:55

slaughtering a camel. Of course you should be doing that. Because why is that the case because of the camel is so huge. And some of the veterinarians are small peoples they couldn't put the put the camels down that you need 20 cows, the camels are really really strong funky creatures, Mashallah. And the third way is when they are wild, this is all domesticated stuff. When it's well then all you have to do is throw a spear or shoot an arrow or use a gun. But since

00:12:57--> 00:13:42

these are three ways of the animal, that's the point. That's the main topic, main topic is take the advice another way and the 11th way to take the 11th way that we talked about today last week. And that is our solar system would be with his wives by guiding them instructing them. And this is a point which is truly very, very important that our solar system used to wake them up at night. And as heavy state that there is not a single husband and Muslim, that there is not a single single Muslim, that wakes up in the night that he sees his wife asleep. He tries to wake her but he should doesn't want to wait. Then he takes a little bit of water and he sprinkles on her face that she gets

00:13:42--> 00:13:48

up and prays with him, except that it is written for both of them that they have that feeling that

00:13:49--> 00:13:57

they are from those who remember Allah that men and the women will remember Allah Allah. Also another direction in Mojave prosumers.

00:13:58--> 00:14:36

The Apostle panatela is amazed with the husband who gets up in the night and wakes his wife up and they pray together in the middle of the night. Allah is amazed with them truly amazing stuffs, Grace with them. Why? Because they're a team. They're functioning as a team together and they're worshiping together. And this was the whole purpose of marriage, to be together as a team working for the religion. My brothers and sisters in Islam, Allah subhanho wa Taala does not want our marriage to become a holy matrimony. Allah doesn't want our marriages to become like we have made it these days which is a ww character type marriage so we can just have a honeymoon and have a nice

00:14:36--> 00:14:59

time and go to you know the Lake District or something and go and have a cup of tea or you know have a nice nice nice day or garage Australian Have a good day at the beach. No, this is this is not exactly what is intended Islam to be American reveling in marriage. Allah Xhosa wants a partnership to worship of God. And this is the whole purpose of marriage if a marriage is not achieving these goals

00:15:00--> 00:15:16

worshipping Allah subhanaw taala. The marriage is not achieving its stated purpose. And it is at that point that the husband and the wife become enemies of one another. Allah says, you're a human being in the world, as well as

00:15:17--> 00:15:25

the room, for you believe verily in your wives, and in your wealth is an enemy for you. So be wary of them.

00:15:27--> 00:15:54

Imagine this, and for the ones as well, in your money, my sister's and also in your husband's is an enemy for you. So be wary of them. Why are the enemies they are your enemies, of course, is the takeaway from above, but they're your friends, they bring you close to their enemies, if they make you think about wasting money, but they're your friends, if they make you think about the challenge. They're your enemies, they're making sleep a lot and have a nice time. But they're your friends, if they make you wake up at night.

00:15:56--> 00:16:37

This is the point of the verse that we must understand, we must work together to be good teacher, the wives must do as we have talked about in the first lecture, which is to be truly and take examples of those role models from the past, to try to truly take the examples and to improve their lives and distinguish between the husbands and themselves and also between themselves and their and their kids. Whereas the husbands need to really understand how to be with their wives so that inshallah they can live together. They can live in harmony, they can live in peace, and they can truly be helped as long as Allah says that on that day, everyone will be a killer

00:16:40--> 00:17:00

in them. On that day, the acid lab, the very beloved brothers and sisters, the very beloved that she got. The close brothers and sisters were brothers to each other, close brothers to each other, in one in one of the worst from the setup. This means many close brothers who are Blood Brothers in slack.

00:17:01--> 00:17:27

I was intending them, or Allah means people who are really close friends, they will be enemies for one minute of the day of judgment except for the team, except for the believers, those who fear Allah subhanaw taala so if you feel alone along with your wife, you will be friends with her on the Day of Judgment. However, if you surveyed with your wife, then you enemies a wonder of the day of judgment when you were running away from each other. So

00:17:29--> 00:17:35

with that, I thank Allah subhana wa tada for this opportunity to be here once again and

00:17:36--> 00:17:40

organizing this I know the trouble I put you guys through several of them.

00:17:41--> 00:17:51

ask Allah to bless your small budget inshallah and to give you Baraka in it and allies mercy on the people who know their limits, I asked the brothers and sisters over here to make sure you give charity

00:17:52--> 00:17:57

and have mercy on yourselves by giving charity inshallah, charity will only increase your wealth.

00:17:59--> 00:18:04

Southern has also said the charity never decreases well. And also as soon as as soon

00:18:06--> 00:18:09

as asked the people are you commando? Where is he?

00:18:11--> 00:18:12

Who amongst you

00:18:13--> 00:18:36

who amongst you is the money of his inheritors mobility and then his own money there was the companions that your soul is not anyone amongst us who are all money is more beloved to us than our than the money of our inheritance. So Susan said that which you have given a charity is your money and that which you leave behind is the money of your inheritance is the money of

00:18:40--> 00:18:41

kinda like a level of

00:18:51--> 00:18:52

collecting questions.

00:19:59--> 00:19:59

You

00:20:55--> 00:20:56

Okay,

00:21:04--> 00:21:08

so I think the brothers are all writing questions so that I don't know who they are.

00:21:11--> 00:21:11

That's funny.

00:21:13--> 00:21:15

What happens in a sisters talk or something?

00:21:16--> 00:21:19

Instead of putting their hands up? Hilarious.

00:21:21--> 00:21:28

Okay. Let me just answer a couple of questions. It says how can we encourage women to give more charity?

00:21:29--> 00:21:30

In the authentic

00:21:31--> 00:21:32

sense said, yeah.

00:21:34--> 00:21:44

So gathering of women give charity For verily, I saw that the majority of the people agenda are women. And so so

00:21:45--> 00:21:54

why are the majority of women? Why are the majority of people in Japan are women, and sort of said this is because, because

00:21:56--> 00:22:37

Because you see, you get good, you receive good from your husbands, but then you see one thing of bad from them. And you say that you never saw anything good from them at all, because of that one single thing. And this is a problem, which in general women have, in general, women have the I don't know why they jump to conclusions, or just because of one thing, Pamela, all the good that the man has done to them is usually forgotten. This is true, isn't it, but also is mentioned in this. So it must be true, even if the woman say it's not true, but having said this truth, it has to be true. So please, it is true. The reality is women do say that and this is not like a loss of power. In fact,

00:22:37--> 00:22:44

it is serious enough for lots of panel data to put you in Jannah as well. And this is something which you have to realize

00:22:46--> 00:23:26

that reality this is something which is which is disliked. And it is filthy. And it is really disgusting that you should they should represent you go to your father or your mother and say give me nothing for me. Is that true? That is great. That is great to say that what your husband who also has a huge racket perhaps even more right than your parents in one way or the other. So Pamela So, this is why limit yourself, it says you have to encourage them to give more charity. First of all, women may not have cash but they have other things which they do not really use like gold, what are you keeping the gold for? For example, the all that trouble of gold and you can give him at the time

00:23:26--> 00:24:02

of marriage? What are you using the gold for? are you just saying Okay, my husband every time it's time for the cat, please could you give us a cup, my cold, which is usually what a lot of women do, this is not right, inshallah you should play this on your own, at least my advice to you is to actually give that gold away to give that charity as much as possible. If you do not have money, then there are other ways in which you cannot get help as well. Perhaps help in our projects, perhaps helped by cooking a cake for example, or baking a pie, or making some curry for example, and then selling it or making a day in which you have to sell that food to raise money to give for

00:24:02--> 00:24:26

charity, but as you can help out in a Islamic course. So that so that you could look after the expense that they would have been saved that would have been spent in actually trying to hire people to do that job. Perhaps you may have it skills. So you can do a website and save someone money in actually doing the website. Perhaps you have some other sort of skills, perhaps you have good English so you can edit

00:24:27--> 00:24:59

articles for for websites or you can edit articles from newspapers or Islamic our programs. There are many things you can do charity is not limited to only money, but it is and it is truly a very large and very widespread word. Charity is everything that can be deemed as charity, anything that is of value that we may require. If you have money, my advice to you is to give that money away as much as possible in 75% of having said that the first few will follow me after after I die.

00:25:00--> 00:25:12

would be the one who was longest hand. And so, all the ones also submitted their hands. And they found that this was not not the real criteria, because the one of the longest had been in the dining room several

00:25:13--> 00:25:59

times the first and was the first why because in reality, the person who gives charity why because what was also really meant was, you have a longest hand meaning that you actually gave more charity or you had reaches up to more people than to I have is longer this is what also was truly intended by them. Also, when you give charity Allah subhana wa tada has, you know, we mentioned all those things, allows mercy in you unless you are looking to more. And plus, in reality, what the solar system was saying in this verse in this hadith when he said, the first of you will follow me will be the one who's more charity is is what he's really saying is the one who will fully Follow me. First

00:25:59--> 00:26:01

is the one who loves me the most.

00:26:02--> 00:26:09

Because remember that it states that if you truly love me that poverty, or poorness, will reach you faster.

00:26:10--> 00:26:27

Why, because you will give so much it because you will divorce this world, and you will embrace the iPhone. And this is why truly poverty will reach you because you truly love me so much. So you give more charity, and this is why you deserve to be the first to meet because you love him more.

00:26:30--> 00:26:55

indirectly. So this is something which you must understand what sisters is that if you truly want to be for those women who are righteous, and footings to protect yourself and to remove the sins that you do, then you must give charity must give charity. In fact, after the statement, our sole assessor wherein he actually told women to give charity and he said that he saw that most of the women agenda to be cheap to be was to be women, all the women as it was reported that

00:26:56--> 00:27:05

came with the scope and actually put this stuff out like that and all the women said take the police and to take the bangles off and all the necklaces and throw it at without meaning through

00:27:06--> 00:27:12

all of that for charity. So you must be a charity and fear Allah subhanaw taala as much as possible.

00:27:15--> 00:27:19

It says here, who are the women that we should learn about?

00:27:25--> 00:27:31

To learn about is first of all, first of all, try and learn about the women of the price the women around

00:27:33--> 00:27:34

if it's

00:27:35--> 00:27:36

a book about the women,

00:27:39--> 00:28:05

the women around them this is a good book inshallah in which you can learn about who the who the women were, what they excelled in what they were great at what they what they're amazing, you learn about them also learn about the mothers of the great scholars such as the mothers of the scholars for the for events, and I'm sure if you look into a deep biography of the four events as a brother was mentioned to me, Dr. Sham I think our D

00:28:06--> 00:28:45

Yeah, he has his tapes, I think 12 tape series of the four emails and he has a discussion of the parents or the mothers of the of the photographs that will be interesting to listen to inshallah, please try to benefit from them also try and read about the women of the great heroes of Islam, such as a UB and read about what they used to do, and why they were so righteous, why they were so pure, because they they will give you more practical examples of how they were actually how you can also actually be with your husband, also read about the the women of our times, let me tell you about this, this woman.

00:28:46--> 00:28:50

This this shift that I know about. He was a student of central planning.

00:28:51--> 00:29:10

His name was abusive. And he came to came to Australia for a Doubletree. Stay with us for about three months or so. And then on his way to Sydney, there was a car accident and he died on the way to see this panel and was a great scholar actually is one of the top students of shareholder value.

00:29:11--> 00:29:32

We used to say at least you remember his wife who had passed away and you say well, not emotionally. I have never seen a woman like that. He said look, I've never seen a woman like that. I would enter into the house and she would run and leave everything that she was doing. Run Run to my feet throwing herself at my feet to take my shoes off.

00:29:33--> 00:29:59

is amazing. I have never seen a woman like that. She would run to my feet to take my shoes off. Then she would take my socks off. And then she would bring a piece of cloth with with with it with water and she would rub my feet with it. And he she and she would do this every single time. Every single time. And he Amazing, amazing in our sisters, our brothers to be princes that truly you need to be the prince the princess verse each other

00:30:00--> 00:30:10

Do it each other do that be the better person, be the better person in relationship, you will find your husband also being pleasing to you. After the talk today, don't go and say, hey, you're here with us.

00:30:11--> 00:30:17

Don't do that. Why don't you be good to each other and you'd be that nice person. So then inshallah your husbands

00:30:18--> 00:30:19

and brothers are worried.

00:30:29--> 00:30:33

I like better all my friends over here. So I joke around a little bit here, please don't take offense to anything they say.

00:30:38--> 00:31:01

stuff, okay. So please, try and be the be the better person, Chelsea husband will be your principal. Okay. It says here, my husband claims to follow slab laws have been praised also dow dow programs However, he cannot control his anger, and therefore treats his wife very badly, when angry, please give me some advice of how to deal with this.

00:31:02--> 00:31:09

So parafollicular the anger is a problem, which a lot of the competitors or the solar system also has, such as

00:31:10--> 00:31:49

he was a righteous man, but when he got angry, he would be angry. And when you be angry, you don't want him to be anywhere but on the battlefield. And suppiler was well known as they had tremendous anger, and he will take all this anger on his women. And this is something which is really disliked. Allah subhanho wa Taala permitted us to hit our women in a manner which is available in a manner which does not hurt them in a manner which is only to bring them to the to, to cause them to understand that matters serious, but not in order to cause them any physical harm, or to actually cause them any pain. In fact, some of the durations of the of the companion state in the state of

00:31:49--> 00:32:01

this verse, that to actually hit them with a with a small tweak, or to hit them with a small swap, for example, like that, of their hands, like this, meaning, you know, like this

00:32:03--> 00:32:25

was already done a little bit roughly the wives over here, we do this, more than just like that. But this is the extent of how much you can actually hit them. And this is amazing. So it's not really hitting even is it this is so this is why perhaps even when you translate this verse in the West, you should be should be careful to actually translate the world as hitting, but rather you should translate to be closer to

00:32:26--> 00:32:46

causing them to pay attention, or in other words, similar closer to that meaning where it because if you told them hitting this is what they understand. These days, husband and wife, they depend on each other like this, like very hard, this is considered hitting this level. Whereas in our culture in our time, it's not considered at in the West, through it over here hitting his passion.

00:32:47--> 00:33:26

This is what we should not be doing. So don't translate that verse in that way. Kind of back to the question, what advice can you give this this this Brother, why my advice to this brother, his sister, if you can tell when the brother does get angry tenant, first of all, you're getting angry, angry, frustrated. And if it is, indeed in a vacuum, which is permissible, then it is frustrated, then go and make do and and sit down if you're standing and sit down, if you're sitting, the larger, and if you don't have to go and make me do anything if you have voted, so go ahead and make this will bring the anger of the shutdown down the poison of the shutdown in your head down. These are

00:33:26--> 00:33:34

the ways that our solar system for the stuff to stop our empathy. Also, if the weather is actually being physically violent, that this is unacceptable behavior.

00:33:35--> 00:33:36

Unacceptable. I mean,

00:33:38--> 00:34:19

what a weak person, his brothers would be to actually hit his wife when he's angry, and to actually make him feel that he's actually a much, much a mature man, you know, that, that he has to take his anger out on this woman, rather, this is a weak person, and this person should be ashamed of himself, something that you should not be doing. You cannot abuse his wife. And if he does abuse his wife, then it is permissible for the wife to seek a divorce from their husband. Is it permissible for a husband to to harm or in any way even to even forcefully stupid that would be incorrect as well in the team that would be considered to be a force to be to be forceful.

00:34:21--> 00:34:43

And over here is this. Islam consider that to be a reason to actually seek a divorce, a permissible reason to seek divorce because remember, you can't seek divorce for any reason. Because if you were to seek it was for any reason that you would receive now gentlemen, this is for the wives for the for the for the sisters, but if your husband is like this with you that you can see divorce from them a

00:34:45--> 00:34:46

couple of other things.

00:34:47--> 00:34:52

What advice to give to a husband constantly teases his wife about taking a second wife.

00:34:55--> 00:34:59

This guy was teasing his wife, a second wife is not going to do

00:35:04--> 00:35:06

It is a serious, serious

00:35:08--> 00:35:08

escape.

00:35:10--> 00:35:15

I mean, if he's truly seriously go ahead and do it. Yeah, go ahead and do it.

00:35:16--> 00:35:45

Right now, go ahead and do it. The point is, the point is that these sort of brothers are being foolish. They're teasing their wives in a way, which they should not. And you know that women are jealous creatures, and Allah has made them jealous. I mean, you would be jealous, you know, beyond beyond Imagine, if she sees you, for example about this. If she teased you about, for example, how many brothers had actually proposed to her before before you got she got married to you? Oh, man, that would that

00:35:47--> 00:36:27

that would be it. And he mentioned the, the jealousy you'd have at that point. And so try and have empathy with your wife, and understand the jealousy that she can have when you choose with her as well. Don't tease explain to her, if you really serious about it, explain to her that Listen, I think I need to do I need to take another life. So please do not be unhappy about it. I understand it's difficult upon you understand that there is some sort of harm that may come to you from it, but I'm not coming because of that would not have permitted it if there was this difference between harm and go zone is to do something in other than its place is to actually decrease the amount of benefit

00:36:27--> 00:36:48

or or Baraka Is that a thing has here in this in this in a second marriage, there isn't a decrease in Baraka, but there is a decrease in the amount of time the husband spends with the wife and that is why there is some sort of harm brought to the first one that does not mean that there is any sort of pressure at all sisters must understand this and inshallah appreciate the reason why the husband

00:36:49--> 00:36:52

and the husband should shall stop joking about this series.

00:36:55--> 00:37:04

Okay, it says their husbands these days focus on wives negative rather than positives. Example, rather than calling one or white one or pretty one.

00:37:05--> 00:37:08

They call us by our shortcomings example. Oh, fatty.

00:37:10--> 00:37:11

Please advise.

00:37:13--> 00:37:13

I'm sure

00:37:14--> 00:37:18

that is a joke. I'm sure that saying that as a joke, I'm sure.

00:37:23--> 00:37:25

It's embarrassing. I don't know why husbands would say that.

00:37:29--> 00:37:36

In fact, I remember our chef was telling us about, about how we should lie to a wife sometimes

00:37:39--> 00:37:46

your wife sometimes and and of course you need to you need to, like sometimes actually make a feel good, right? Sometimes you don't feel really good about

00:37:47--> 00:37:48

the food, for example. It's

00:37:56--> 00:38:09

something to do that. I remember chef was saying, you know, what's so funny, that he was saying that, you know, sometimes, you know, a friend of his, you know, used to get up, get up in the morning. And his wife had poofy hair, you know,

00:38:10--> 00:38:15

she'll get up in the morning, and she'd have all this bouquet in the morning. And, and he would

00:38:17--> 00:38:19

have never seen anything more beautiful.

00:38:25--> 00:38:32

Nothing wrong with that. See, because I'm sure the wife understands that. He's just trying to be polite. It's being polite. And

00:38:33--> 00:38:34

it's not a joke, but

00:38:36--> 00:38:39

yeah, thank you. I think the word was very nice, thank you.

00:38:42--> 00:38:48

This has been polite inshallah. And I think logical people, the way that you guys are watching

00:38:50--> 00:39:08

us here, we all understand each other. There's a difference between line and difference between each other. So when you're saying these sort of statements, and shall you be polite, not you're not being bad. I urge that brother who says, you know, things which are not pleasing to the wife, to refrain from that and shall actually say beautiful things.

00:39:10--> 00:39:16

To say beautiful things. I know sometimes, you know, the beauty of a woman goes away sometimes when they have kids for a husband.

00:39:17--> 00:39:56

And, and, but, but the point that that must be made, is that that initial beauty is replaced by the inner beauty. And the inner beauty is that you have seen how this woman is raising your child and the difficulties that this woman is going through raising a child at night when she can't sleep when the child is crying when you are snoring. And she is trying to calm the child down. And you think about all of that. So this is why even though the initial love and attraction maybe lost a little bit, because of her having children or whatever, because the physical appearance goes down in a beauty, but yet it is replaced by something stronger than that. And that is a love built upon

00:39:56--> 00:39:59

respect to the true love. The first was lust in reality

00:40:00--> 00:40:09

But in reality, the second one is a true love, which is inshallah stronger and much more stable and much more authentic than the first one.

00:40:12--> 00:40:38

It says here, there are many examples of role models for Islamic history, but what who would you recommend, as contemporary role models for females are not many sisters were following non Muslim female role models, it is very difficult at this point for us to think about role models in our time Now, why because we are at a crossroads in the Muslim world at the moment, we are at the crossroads, we are at the stage in which Muslims are living

00:40:40--> 00:41:19

a new chapter in history, that which has never been repeated before never been met that which will probably not happen again. And that which is happening for the first time now. So it's very, very difficult to to really find out what what we should be doing, rather than the situation is that every person is is a role model according to his circumstances and according to his situation, and according to the way that he sees how things should be done. The scholars of the past they used to take two types of teachers, the first teacher they will take is a teacher to gain knowledge. And the second teacher that they will take or the second role model they will take is a teacher in magnets.

00:41:20--> 00:41:21

And this is why

00:41:23--> 00:41:24

I said it

00:41:26--> 00:41:32

was shaken when I took one shift from knowledge to another show, for other format

00:41:33--> 00:42:08

represented this way. And instead of searching for a person, or one sister or one brother, who is completely everything, rather rather search for one person who is stronger or more complete in one thing, and search for another person who is stronger or more complete in everything, that will be the best way that that is my advice to you to see first a person who is for example, very, very good at knowledge. So seek knowledge from him. Someone else was very good man. And so then managed from him someone who is very dedicated in the tower. So learn how he is dedicated the tower from him, someone who's very good with his wife, so learn from him how he's good.

00:42:09--> 00:42:19

But if this way, you could truly be multifaceted in your role model and you make up your own role model. And in that way, you become the role model for the for the for the youth.

00:42:23--> 00:42:24

Okay.

00:42:40--> 00:42:43

Okay, just a couple of small questions, which I'll answer quickly.

00:43:04--> 00:43:07

Just a couple of questions. We don't have time to answer them all apologize.

00:43:09--> 00:43:09

Apologize.

00:43:12--> 00:43:17

To them says Could you explain the concept of wedding rings? Yes, wedding rings

00:43:18--> 00:43:41

to be put upon your wedding, your your ring finger. Because as as the legend says that there is an option or a vein that actually runs in that thing that actually goes to the heart. You know what, unfortunately, we have to disappoint all the romantic people and tell them that all the veins of the head run to the heart.

00:43:44--> 00:43:45

There's nothing called winning reason.

00:43:47--> 00:44:20

And it is a practice of the of the disbelievers and I advise my sisters to not use that practice. In fact, there are a couple of nonischemic practices we do it in weddings, which are encouraged from them as a wedding ring. First of all, so do not there's nothing called engagement ring there's nothing called a wedding ring. So just because you don't have a ring on your finger people say oh you're single post, you know, that's incorrect. That's not the way you know a person is married or not, you know a person is married or not by actually finding out about the person rather than seeing what sort what sort of finger what sort of rings she has on her fingers. And by the way, there used

00:44:20--> 00:44:42

to be a musician in Bangladesh and she used to have so many finger rings, you know, rings on her fingers. And she saw this dance like this right? And the people used to say that that she was married but then you know, they found out later on that she wasn't married. And so they actually told her that when she gets on the on the TV, she should take all the all the rings of that