S7E10 The Middle Is the Riskiest Part.. How to keep momentum going

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Tarek Kareem Harris

Channel: Tarek Kareem Harris

Episode Notes

The Reinvention Series

Episode Transcript

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If you've ever heard of primacy or recency, then you'll know what I'm talking about. But if you haven't listened on primacy and recency are two things which describe the effect of motivation and memory.

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When you remember something, if it's long a long list, then you tend to remember the first thing. And the last thing.

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The same thing happens with motivation through different phases of a project. So when we're talking about reinvention, a program of trying to transform something, people find that their motivation is high in the beginning, and it sort of drops and then picks up again, like towards the end for whatever reason. Either they're becoming

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excited towards the end, or they feel the pressure. But the middle part is hard. So what do we do to keep going? What kind of things can we use to help ourselves remain focused in those middle days when things are not quite showing the results we want yet, but we know we're on the right course.

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Well, listen on.

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First, firstly, know and reflect. Remember why you are doing what you're doing. You're a Muslim who is doing right by Allah in a new an immensely empowering way. Keep these thoughts in your da, and keep this commitment close to your heart and mind. It will help you forge through with ease. Focus on the meaning of your effort, the greater purpose and aspiration behind it.

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This is a very powerful motivation, possibly the greatest motivation of all

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steps that you can practically do alongside this are to keep a diary or a written record of your reflections, or even make audio notes on your phone. Anything which helps you to recount the day's experiences. And keep a note of how you feel about your progress and what your plans are in the coming days.

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Consider sharing your daily reflections with Allah in a dua as you pray your Salah, or as you head to bed. Feel free to talk to Allah about what your plans are and what your intentions are. And just laid out for him, the things that you found easy and hard and just be thankful. This is an immensely powerful exercise on its own because putting your emotions and feelings into words, you hear them and Allahu ism. And lo will of course grant you your dua in some way that is a benefit to you.

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Share your progress with a supportive loved one, or someone who's making the same changes. If somebody is joining you on this, then keep tabs on each other. See how it's going. Maybe go shopping together and share ideas.

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seek refuge in Allah. Don't let things get too serious or heavy hearted. Take it all with a cheerful and optimistic approach. Now that every second you spend in making this effort is noted and loved by law breaker on regularly, the Quran is the ultimate refuge. And it is a healing in itself.

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saith us be which help you especially when you've got difficult emotions or when you're trying to be patient. We're just in the calmer, quieter moments when you're driving along or walking on your own.

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If you're feeling particularly tempted, consider focusing on the doers which are focused on refuge. I was below him in a shakedown in regime.

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temptations are part of the knifes but shaytan tends to exaggerate them, ridicule his efforts. And consider it just a blip when you do fall for temptation in a minor way. defend against Satan by seeking forgiveness and preferring the company of Allah's hand. Allah knows what you're going through. And he knows if you're putting the right effort in.

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Just put the effort in and the results will be up to Allah and inshallah they will come.

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And remember to practice self acceptance and kindness. I can't emphasize this enough, because too many people who are overweight struggle with this idea of self acceptance. accepting yourself as you are does not mean you agree with everything that you are all the bad parts of you. It just means that you understand that they're part of you. And you treat yourself as if you were your own employee. How would you talk to that person, if you were truly in all of them and the efforts they make?

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Don't fall for useless, harsh self talk. Treat your mind and all its faults and strengths with the kindness as much as Allah commands you to do so.

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So imagine you were coaching someone else. Someone very precious to you to do what you're doing.

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Talk to yourself, the way you would talk to them.

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And it's fine to feel regret if you make a mistake.

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And know that regret is for something you do is not for character failure. regret that knowledge is that you want to move and find a change. But it doesn't go so far as to say that you are a person who is inherently faulty.

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punishing self criticism and endless self accusation have little place in the hearts of people who wish to have a more contented and peaceful life overall.

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Guilt is unhelpful. Guilt is when the neffs is simply obsessed with self blame.

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Share and seek support. Sharing your goals and plans with people close to you really helps because it engages that social side of you. And explain it in a way that makes sense to people who are not involved with you, but who matter to you.

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Explain to your loved one, while you're aiming to do explain the numerous benefits that you're hoping for maybe your targets, and involve them if you need to make slow changes which affect them to be at your shopping or your routine.

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If you have a spouse, look for their agreement at a minimum, but seek that active involvement if you can, we have enough to deal with for all our lives, no matter how noble or pious we are. And enough is helpful. It's a part of you, but it can get carried away. And nobody is beyond their emotions and impulses. Sure, it's true. Some of us have the more intensely than others. And that's part of our particular burden, our particular test, whatever it is, bear it gladly. Knowing that no difficulty is unknown to Allah. And you're never given difficulties that you can't bear. Even if you feel overwhelmed,

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and reach out to the online communities for support if you'd like. In particular read the stories and the prophets own trials and tribulations, to give yourself perspective and consolation.

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And finally, accept when it doesn't go perfectly. There is no failure in life. If you admit that you're only human, and you take some feedback from it.

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Never lose hope in yourself because of one little mistake, or even a big one or five of them. Be kind to yourself and treat yourself with a million chances of regaining composure and pride. Because of the simple truth. Getting up, dusting ourselves off. And trying again, is the true lesson and honor of a life well lived.

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It's a way of life, not a phase.

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appreciate every tiny inch you move forward and acknowledge there will be times when you slip back.

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optimism and hope are your allies in any effort. When you're setting out to live a life that pleases Allah