Channel: Tarek Kareem Harris
TAYYIB Book, Foward by Mufti Menk
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Chapter 21 reexamining our attitudes to weight
regardless of what your body weight is, in order to fast successfully as a Muslim, you need to start making some changes to the judgments you make about yourself.
You are loved and accepted by Allah, and you are valuable, just as you are. You need not do anything at all to prove it. The fact that you are alive is evidenced in itself that alar created you with great love and care, not as a forgettable being or as a coincidence, and certainly not to be ashamed. You must try to regard yourself as a person of inherent value, because it is an inherent truth.
You may not find it easy to accept, but your value is there. Nonetheless, your value exists regardless of how you feel about it. Regardless of your successes or failures.
You are also loved by Allah for the efforts you make, not for the results. We make efforts. But the results.
If you do your reasonable best at anything on any given day, living within the limits of the things that you can't change, then that is what Allah is immensely pleased by. You can help yourself by setting goals because goals make it easier to know what you're aiming for whilst you make your efforts. But the efforts are workout.
self acceptance means you understand that even when you don't like something about yourself, you still accept it.
Acceptance doesn't mean agreement. It just means acknowledgement. It's like someone who doesn't like the weeds in their garden, but accepts that the weeds are part of their garden. There's no use feeling ashamed of things which are yours. Many of them are the very things that lead you to make good changes.
self acceptance takes away unnecessary misery, and frees up energy to make changes in a calmer and more sympathetic way. success comes more easily with self acceptance.
Do not associate happiness with weight. Because this is simply not true. Other than in a very superficial and temporary sense.
Once you find your ideal weight, if you're a worrier, or a people pleaser by nature, your enough's will find something else to worry about just as much.
True contentment lies in appreciating your worth at any time, not tying it to weight or anything else other than your constant high worth. In the eyes of Allah.
It's fine to feel more confident and pleased with yourself if you change your weight. But it's not truthful or correct to imagine that happiness is only available if your way to appearance or other things are sorted out.
Feelings are not facts.
That's worth writing again,
feelings are not facts. They are merely guides, sometimes helpful, but often exaggerated, often wrong, and sometimes just purely random and irrational.
To manage weight, or any other part of our life in a sustainable way. We deal with facts and targets and plans. These things come from the heart and intellect, not from the knifes the knifes must certainly be kept satisfied and listened to. But it doesn't get to lead us. We are Muslims. We think and decide things from the wisdom that comes from facts and emotions together. And deciding what is best according to our experience, our ideas of what makes a good person and our religion. We are people of the heart. We are people who reflect.
So let's look at what the Islamic mindset that the way really offers.
First of all, its completeness. The third way is a lifestyle, not a phase. It's fully integrated with a way of thinking and living life. That's not only long term, but it's also pleasant and positive. It's neither absolute, nor is it vague. It's something to aspire to, and to keep gently trying to move your life towards.
It's medically sound. It's closer to the way the body actually works. The most beautiful form of fasting according to our Prophet peace be upon him. Was that shown by the prophet David, or doubt at a salon who fasted on alternate days. If you think about that, it absolutely makes the most sense. It's a perfect switching between being in a buildup state and a fat burning state.
But we are granted a favor by Allah, and invited only to fast in Ramadan. And if we wish to twice a week, it still works.
The third way is universal and free. It's compatible with the whole world. It doesn't require special foods or recipes, it's far less wasteful. It's also free of charge. It saves money for most people doing it. Processed foods and snacks are more expensive in the long term, particularly if we over indulge in them. buying more foods may be a little bit more expensive in the short term, but the savings are made up in terms of eating less overall, and spending less on junk food. Put simply, in the end, quality is cheaper than quantity.
Finally, the third way is of course close to Dean and well being.
It's connected deeply to teachings and practices that helped to build positive character and good mental well being, fighting mental and physical disorders related to poor weight management, and difficulty controlling impulses.
When it comes to motivation, and keeping going, remember that emotions come from the knifes it's fine to feel bad if your weight is far away from what it should be. But you must accept yourself as you are. You're a decent person who listens to moderate feelings and uses them but doesn't listen to extreme emotions because those just cause paralysis and hopelessness. Feeling bad in a measured amount is a natural emotion. It's a motivational force, meaning it helps you to feel uncomfortable enough to start making changes.
That's good motivation. It's also useful towards the end of any task when you are trying to get close to your goal, and we've just got a few hard yards left to go.
And of course, when you reach your goal, emotions of celebration and happiness are totally appropriate in helping to reward knifes and give yourself joy and celebration as a result of your efforts. However, motivational emotions are not so useful in the middle part of any long term task. It is better not to rely upon emotions on their own to maintain your efforts. What's more useful commitment. Maintenance of Effort is a common process, better served by commitment. commitment is from the heart and the intellect. The heart is your center of wisdom and judgment. And the intellect is where you can calculate and plan and compute. The heart keeps the bigger goals and higher purpose
in mind. And the intellect keeps focus on the practical steps to take setting goals and making decisions on an everyday level.
Commitment doesn't go up and down because it comes from stable parts of the mind. It's a steady and humble servant, which is there for you every morning. The more you remind yourself and keep clear what you're hoping to do.
Keeping track of your results is useful, but don't become obsessed with him. Otherwise, you're serving the knifes rather than the intellect.
Allah asked you to do your reasonable best to honor your commitments. So rely on your commitment. When things go wrong. Make karma adjustments, no dramas, commitment is independent of how you feel
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