Taimiyyah Zubair – Taleem al Quran 2012 – P20 200C Recap Al-Qasas 22-28

Taimiyyah Zubair
AI: Summary © The speakers discuss the importance of trust and faith in helping others, as well as the success of helping others through their work. They stress the need for practice, determination, and hard work to develop these qualities and give people the choice of working for eight, ten, or twelve years. The speakers also emphasize the importance of privacy and acceptance of marriage, as it is necessary to achieve everything. The conversation is difficult to follow and the speakers emphasize the need for people to accept and love one another.
AI: Transcript ©
00:00:01 --> 00:00:50

The sudo is a colossus and we are learning about the story of Musa alayhis salam. And previously we learned about how mozarella salaam when he was in Egypt accidentally, he murdered a man and the following day, he was advised by somebody to leave. Why because for Owens men were coming to seize Him in order to punish him for what had happened. So Musa alayhis salam, he left Egypt, he fled from there. And he ended up in Medina. When he reached by the end, he saw as he was resting near a watering place, he saw over there to women who were in need of some help. And what was the help they needed? That the shepherds, the men, of course, they had their flocks in the watering area. And

00:00:50 --> 00:01:30

these two women were keeping away. So Musa Salam, he went and inquired about their situation. And he found out that those two women, their father was old. And they did not like to take their flocks into the men, so they waited for the men to leave. But Musa alayhis salam in his concern for others, what did he do? He, although he was tired and exhausted himself, he was in a very difficult situation, he helped out those who were in need. So he had these two women, and he made dua to Allah, that rugby in the Lima and Zelda ilium and Hayden faqeer. And this is a very, very important dua, that whenever we find ourselves in a situation where we see that the doors are closed, we don't

00:01:30 --> 00:02:08

know where to go. We don't know what to do what step to take next. Just put yourself in Musa listen, I'm situation, where could he go? He didn't even know where he was gonna get his next meal from where he was going to sleep that night. Right? If he was ever going to go back home or not, he didn't know what was going to happen. So many times a person finds himself in a similar situation where you're looking forward to something and all of a sudden, that option is no longer there. Right? Like, for instance, you apply to a particular program, and you are looking forward to starting school the next week, and then what happens you find out, you have not been admitted into

00:02:08 --> 00:02:49

that particular course. In fact, you haven't been embedded in any of the courses. And so you think there is no hope for you? Right? So you wonder, what are you going to do next? So in this situation, what do we see is the Prophetic way. First of all, we see that if a certain door has been closed, if an option is no longer there, it doesn't mean that you have no other option left in this world. If you cannot do one thing, certainly there are other things that you can still do. husana sam didn't know where he was going to get his next meal from where he was going to sleep that night. But he could help these two women in need. And when he found that door open, he took advantage of it. And

00:02:49 --> 00:03:35

this is what we need to do that when we find ourselves lost and confused in a certain situation, stop looking at what we can no longer do and start looking for things that we can still do. And when we take advantage of such opportunities, Allah subhanaw taala will create more opportunities for us. And secondly, we see over here in the character of Musa Sana, that when he helps out others He also asks Allah for help that Rob be any Lima and Zelda Illa Yemen Hayden fucky that even if every door is closed, the door of Doha is always always open, always open, no matter how difficult the situation is, we can always make draw, right? And look at this drop that Oh Allah, I am fucking I am

00:03:35 --> 00:04:20

needy. I am desperate for any good thing that you can send my way. Only you can send something good my way. Nobody else can provide good for me only you can so I place all my trust all my hope in you. I am needy, I am desperate before you I spread my hands out before you and when a person seeks Allah subhanaw taala with so much hope and with so much trust and faith in Allah in such a desperate situation than Allah certainly response and that's exactly what happened with Musa sunnah that immediately help was sent his way in which form that we learned that for the Houma timeshare I listed here that one of the two girls who Musa they said I'm helped one of the two girls came

00:04:20 --> 00:05:00

walking to him and she was walking with extreme shyness, meaning she wasn't walking you know, as if attracting attention or seductively nothing like that. In fact, she was almost shy because she was walking alone. She was going alone to a non Muharram man. So as she's walking to him, when she comes to him, she says that in a vida de ruca Lea Zika a doula Massa catalana my father is calling you to pay you back for the fact that you watered our animals. And this shows the nobility of this family also fell in merger a Huso and Musar. Listen to him he came he accepted that offer because

00:05:00 --> 00:05:44

He didn't help the girls expecting a word from them, did he? No, he didn't, he didn't do a favor to them expecting something in return, he did it for the sake of Allah. So, when he is given something in return, all right, without him expecting it, he accepts it. And this is something that we need to understand also, that when we do good to others, let us not expect anything good in return from them. Rather, let us expect good from WHO? Allah subhanaw taala. You see many times in life, we have these complaints that I have always tried my best to be good to others. But they have never been good to me in return.

00:05:45 --> 00:06:32

Like I have always helped out financially, I've always, you know, given preference to other people, I have supported them, but I haven't received that support in return. So what was the benefit of the good that I did? Well, our thinking is wrong over here. When we are doing good to others, we should not expect them to pay us back. We should expect Allah to pay us back. So Musan is sunnah. That is what he expected also, and this is the reason why he made dua, and then when he's offered help from this family fund manager who were Casali Hill castles, when he came to the father of these two women, and he told him his old story about his old background about the accidental murder. What was

00:06:32 --> 00:06:56

the response of the Father? Allah Allah to half he said, Don't worry, don't fear Nadella terminal Comilla mean you have been saved from the wrongdoing people. Meaning now you're no longer infant, our own territory. You are out of there. You are safe, you are in a safe place. So you don't need to worry about fit our own. He's never going to reach here to find you.

00:06:57 --> 00:07:45

Then what happened on it if that humor, one of the two girls, she said, Yeah, Betty. Oh, my father is that Jill, who you should hire him? Is the job, like I mentioned to you earlier, from the word agile Hamza, JIRA, is a wage and is the job is to hire someone on a wage. All right, meaning you hire them to do something in return for a wage that you're going to give them to engage on fake. So it's that dude who she said, Father, hire him. This guy, he's good enough. He's got nowhere to go. Why don't you hire him? You yourself need help. And you have enough money that you can hire somebody. And this man is trustworthy. So why don't you hire him? And she says in the indeed Kira

00:07:45 --> 00:08:42

best man who meaning the best person whom is that Jota, whom you can hire is a way you will Amin the strong person, and also the one who is trustworthy, meaning you or father are in need of someone who is strong, capable of doing this work. And also trustworthy, reliable, meaning someone who's not going to cheat you. So it's as if she's studying her father, don't lose this man. Okay, recruit him recruit this talent. Don't lose this opportunity. All right. Now, this sentence, it really shows the intelligence of this woman of this lady. That how based on one interaction with Musallam, she understands when mozarella Salam is based on one interaction. She recognizes the strength in Lusaka,

00:08:42 --> 00:08:53

Sana and the Amana the trustworthiness in Musar. Listener. First of all, the strength, how does she see his strength? From where does she see his strength? How?

00:08:54 --> 00:09:18

How is it that she realized that he was a strong person? Yes. Okay, there were other shepherds also who were watering their flocks. I mean, taking the animals to a watering place and then returning them. It's normal. Even little kids can do that. By the way. I mean, two women were doing it right. So how does she sense or how does she perceive his strength? Good.

00:09:20 --> 00:09:21

All the way?

00:09:24 --> 00:09:39

Exactly. I mean, walking from Egypt to meridian is not something easy. It's not something that every other person can do. It's something that only a strong person can do. All the way from Egypt to Medina.

00:09:40 --> 00:09:43

All right, go ahead. He probably made his way through that.

00:09:45 --> 00:09:59

Wasn't mild mannered or anything? Okay, that's a good point. That's a good point. So first of all, the fact that he made it from Egypt to Meridian. Secondly, the fact that he had just reached and without even taking much rest or finding a new

00:10:00 --> 00:10:43

proper food or anything, he is willing to work and help. And thirdly, the shepherds are already crowding the area. All right? And so he brings in a flock, in the midst of the shepherds in the midst of that whole crowd, making his way through the crowd to the watering place, watering the animals and then bringing them back. I mean, this shows the strength of a person. So if there's a person who's constantly asking for breaks, oh, I'm too tired. No, I'm too tired now. I can't do this anymore. Oh, you know, last week, I went to the gym and I'm still hurting because of that. While you got no strengthen, right? If a person is complaining two days after they fasted that I'm still, you

00:10:43 --> 00:11:02

know, suffering from the effects of my fast Well, there's a huge problem. Right? So the strength of Musar is and I'm it's quite evident over here. Secondly, she says that he is Amin. How does she see his Amana? From where does she understand that he is trustworthy? He's not going to cheat. Go ahead, sister.

00:11:04 --> 00:11:15

Yes, that he took the flock watered the flock and then brought the flock back. If he wanted, he could have taken the flock away. Right? cheated. But he didn't go ahead.

00:11:17 --> 00:11:27

Yes, also his trustworthiness from the fact that he didn't hide anything from his story. He mentioned the whole story. He told him about his mistake. Okay, go ahead.

00:11:31 --> 00:12:19

Yeah, his Amana also from the way that he dealt with the two women. He didn't harass them. Right? He didn't demand any weight from them. He didn't chase them. Nothing like that. No, he just watered their animals return them went back to the shade. All right. And then when the girl goes and calls him, he comes without even harassing her. I mean, this really shows someone's good character, how a man is dealing with a woman. All right, this shows his character, his Amana his trustworthiness. So she says that, Oh, Father, the best person whom you can hire is someone can we and I mean, so we see that this woman based on one interaction with Musar, listen, um, she understands who mozarella Salam

00:12:19 --> 00:12:48

is. And she overlooks his unknown past. I mean, yes, he had told them about his story. But who knows, it could have been worse. Right? How can you trust a stranger like that. And even the past that Masada Saddam did tell them about his criminal record. They don't mind that, because based on this interaction, they recognize his honesty, they recognize his sincerity, his well wishing the goodness of his character.

00:12:49 --> 00:13:02

Now, this aisle also teaches us that when selecting a person for a task for any work, look for these two skills, first of all, strength and secondly, trustworthiness

00:13:03 --> 00:13:42

or strength, their capability and you see each work requires a certain kind of strength, all right, some things they require physical strength, other things they require mental strength, others they require emotional strength, right. So, whatever work it is, accordingly, what kind of strength is needed, the person whom you are selecting? Do they possess the strength to perform the particular task properly? Do they possess the strength for the work that you want them to do? Can they handle it?

00:13:44 --> 00:14:28

Can they handle it? So the strength first of all, secondly, trustworthiness honesty, how is their commitment How is their loyalty. And this also shows to us that if we want to be of service to others, if we want to do some work, write some good work, we need to develop these two qualities in ourselves also, which two qualities strength. And secondly, trustworthiness and strength comes from practice, right practice, I problem is that we try something for a few days, then we get bored of it and we switch to something else. And we do it for a few days. And then we get bored of that also, then we try a new option. And by the end of five years, yes, we have jumped from one thing to

00:14:28 --> 00:14:34

another to another. We have tried like six different things, but we have developed zero strength in any one field.

00:14:36 --> 00:14:48

So strength is developed with practice, determination. It doesn't come magically. It doesn't come in one day. It doesn't come by just trying things out. It comes by hours and hours of practice.

00:14:49 --> 00:14:59

We learn that Abdullah bin was Rudra de la RN who he said that the people who had the most discernment were three meaning people who were really farsighted. There were three

00:15:00 --> 00:15:09

First of all Abu Bakr Radi Allahu Anhu. Because he chose remodeled Allahu anhu, as Khalifa after him, right?

00:15:10 --> 00:15:13

Secondly, the companion of use of

00:15:15 --> 00:16:01

the Aziz when he said to his wife, that a creamy Messiah who that this boy whom I have brought in our house as a slave, treat him well in our house, perhaps he will benefit us he noticed talent in use of our lesson and which others did not. Remember the people who picked him up from the well they sold him for a party price right and they were Jaeho concerning use of our listener, but the man who purchased him he saw some good qualities and use of our listener and thirdly of the Levin was a little lower and who said that it was the daughter of this man when she said yeah, but this that her father, don't lose this man. Hire him in the hiring minister, gelato Khalil me, the best person whom

00:16:01 --> 00:17:00

you can hire is someone who is strong and trustworthy. Now what happens? The father likes the advice. But he's got two girls after all. And here is a man whom he can hire who would be of a lot of benefit to him. But does it make sense to keep two girls and a man in a house? So what does he do? The father is even more smart. Okay. The girl is smart and the Father is more smart. What is he said Allah He said to Musar listener in the UI do I want indeed I want. I'm that own Kihara that I have married to you. I give in marriage to you is the one off even at a year, my two daughters, even a three year even at a two daughters. And you see the year has shut down because there's two years.

00:17:00 --> 00:17:10

One year the first year is off Destinia even at all right? And the second year is for me. So even a Teja my two daughters.

00:17:11 --> 00:17:51

how tiny these two dating these are the only two daughters I have. And I want to wed you to one of these two daughters of mine. Her tiny, her tiny This is a new word. Her tiny is basically dual off heavy, heavy. She All right, this meaning she and her attorney her tiny. Her attorney is also used for dual feminine, and her tiny is also used for dual. Alright, so he said that I wish to wed you one of these, my two daughters. Why does he start with marriage?

00:17:52 --> 00:17:56

Because why would he keep a young man in his house while he had two girls.

00:17:57 --> 00:18:08

It's unrealistic to expect young people to remain chaste and pure, while they remain unmarried. And people from the opposite gender are always in their face.

00:18:09 --> 00:18:21

Seriously, it's unrealistic. It's low on people to prevent them from marriage. And also have them face people from the opposite gender constantly.

00:18:22 --> 00:19:12

So the father is making a marriage proposal over here. Isn't that interesting, by the way, the girl's father is proposing. Generally this is considered very wrong. All right, that no one on the girls side never proposes they can only wish and hope that somebody some Prince Charming is going to come and propose, right. But we see that there is absolutely nothing wrong. If the girl's family also proposes this is similar to how a little Dylan Lauren who when his daughter Hafsa, well below her and her her husband died in one of the battles. And she was still very young, he was worried about her. So he went to respond with Lauren who are a little below her and who have a bucket of

00:19:12 --> 00:19:38

Allahu Anhu. And all three of them said no. Basically they said yeah, you know, we'll think about and they didn't really give him a straight answer, which meant a very polite, no. Okay, so a lot of the line who is taking the proposal, you see as the father of the girl, he's doing that, and there's nothing wrong with that. All right. And then what happened eventually the Prophet sallallahu Sallam he married how settled in the war and

00:19:39 --> 00:19:48

yeah, we also learned about Khadija a little more and how that how she sent a proposal through her friend it was indirectly so basically the proposal came from the woman's side.

00:19:49 --> 00:19:59

And also we see over here that he says one of my two daughters not both, because two sisters cannot be married to one man at a time.

00:20:01 --> 00:21:01

However, he sets a condition. Okay. He says either upon meaning on the condition on that, that journey, that journey, you are employed by me. All right. You are hired by me, meaning you work for me that draw several times at Gmail for how long Semenya eight. Hey, Judge yours. Hey, Judge Florida the word Hijjah. All right. Hi, Jean. Jean Hijjah means year. And this is from the word hedge. All right, hedge is an annual event, right? So it comes after one year. So this is why the word Hijjah is also used for a year. All right. So he said that on the condition that you work for me for eight years, for in, but if

00:21:02 --> 00:21:51

at Manta you complete from it, man, tell me mean, if you complete ashram 10, meaning instead of eight, if you end up working for 10 years, famine or Indic, then from you, meaning then that would be a favor from you. So basically, he is saying that it's up to you, I want that if you marry my daughter, you work for me for eight years. But if you end up working for 10 years, that would be ideal. But I'm not asking that you work for 10 years, eight is what I'm asking for. And it's up to you, whether you do it for eight or 10 or more, that's totally your choice. Well, not what do you do, and I do not want, I'm that a Sherpa that I make difficult, I put in difficulty. I Lekha on you.

00:21:52 --> 00:22:24

We didn't I don't want to put you in difficulty. In other words, I'm not forcing you here. It's totally up to you. It's your choice, a shock. From the letter sheen, cough, cough, shock. Shock is to tear apart. And from this, the word is also used for putting someone in hardship to be heavy and forceful, hard and burdensome. So I don't want to force you into this. If you don't want to marry my daughter, you don't want to work for me, that's perfectly fine. But this is my offer.

00:22:25 --> 00:23:08

You can marry my daughter on the condition that you work for me for eight years. I'm not imposing this on you. It's your choice, no pressure. And if you were to accept this offer, I won't make your life difficult for you. Well, that will lead to an issue, Carly, this can also be understood as I don't intend to make your life difficult that I'm going to control you then. All right, Saturday Dooney. Soon you shall find me meaning if you do agree to this, then you will find me in sha Allah who if Allah wills Mina, sila hain, among the righteous in sha Allah, if you do agree to this, and you stay with us, and for eight years, you're working for me, I'm not going to make your life

00:23:08 --> 00:23:15

difficult and miserable. Inshallah you will find me as a righteous companion. What do we see over here?

00:23:16 --> 00:24:06

First of all, we see that the father of these two girls, he is giving Musala Sam a choice, right? He's making an offer. And in that offer, also, he's giving a choice. It's not like one option, only he's giving him two options, eight years, 10 years, your choice. Right. So basically, he's letting massages and I'm feel that I'm not putting any pressure on you. And this is a very important thing to do. When asking someone to do some work, give them some choice so that they feel like they have some control over over the situation. All right. Like for example, if you want somebody to let's say clean something in the house, all right. You can either go to them and say Do the vacuum. Vacuum. Or

00:24:06 --> 00:24:13

you can say would you like to vacuum the carpets upstairs or would you like to broom? The floor is downstairs.

00:24:14 --> 00:24:21

All right. You understand? So if you say go vacuum, mothers, please listen attentively. Okay.

00:24:23 --> 00:24:54

And older sisters also, that if you just say to somebody vacuum, doesn't know who are you to tell me? I'm not doing it. I'm busy. All right. Don't try to be my boss. Right? And if you say would you like to do this, or would you like to do that? Then what happens? The person has been given a choice. They're being given some control over the situation. Trust me. It works really well with little kids. Really well. Okay. I read this in the doctor's office. The STIP and 100 allied works almost every time almost go ahead.

00:25:00 --> 00:25:37

And finally I, you know, I made them to say like, they want to be homeschooled. They want to go to school, lots of times, I really blackmail them. Okay, I'm gonna send back to your school No, Mama, we don't I got a choice to be homeschooled. So because they were having a choice, I didn't want to go where they're gonna stay home. Yeah, you have to give a choice to other people, right, and they should always have a way out. So Musa Sam, first of all, he's been given a choice, you can either accept this offer, or you can reject it completely. And secondly, this offer also has two options, eight years, or 10 years. It's totally up to you. All right. And he's clarifying himself. You know,

00:25:37 --> 00:26:20

it really shows the nobility of this family. They're not greedy. They're not people who want to have control. And this is something that's very important, especially at the time of marriage. When proposing somebody, this is extremely important. And also, when accepting a proposal. This is also very important. You know, yes, the father is setting a condition over here for Nikka. And that's completely fine. It's completely fine to set conditions at the time of Nica. So for example, a woman can set a condition that this is my condition that, for example, we have to live in such and such city, for instance. All right, unless it's impossible.

00:26:21 --> 00:27:09

All right. Likewise, there could be another condition that you can't marry. In other words, okay, I'm just giving you examples, these conditions can be set, all right. So over here, the father is setting a condition, but remember, these conditions should be maruf, they should be any acceptable, not crazy conditions, that you have to pay off my entire student loan, which is by now $60,000, accumulating this much interest every month. All right, so you have to pay it off. And the man is saying that, Oh, should I pay off my interest loan or yours? Hi. Likewise, you know, a woman cannot say that you have to provide me with an apartment and such and such place, and you have to come up

00:27:09 --> 00:27:27

with a job that brings this much money every month, and you have to give me such and such clothes and such and such stuff at the time of marriage. You know, conditions can be set, but they should be my roof. Because if these conditions are not my route than marriage will be

00:27:28 --> 00:27:34

possible or impossible. Impossible, you won't ever be able to find Mr. Perfect, never.

00:27:35 --> 00:28:30

And his marriages are delayed. That also causes more problems. Now, another thing we see over here is that the Father is setting this condition that Mozart isn't I'm work for a period of time. Why? Because at the time of marriage, the man must give something to the woman something mod is necessary. The man has to give something now, we saw his son, what did he have to offer? Did he have money with nothing, his hands were empty, he had nothing with him. Right. And the only thing he could offer was what his services his work. So the work that the gray was doing up until now, if she was to marry Musa Lisanna Musa, listen, I would have to do that no.

00:28:31 --> 00:28:50

And not just for a day or two or, or anything, the father said a condition eight years, that fine, you cannot give any gift to my daughter, if you were to marry her. But you can do this work instead. And that's okay for us. So this teaches us that the Mohawk can be something like this also.

00:28:52 --> 00:29:08

Instead of demanding $25,000, for example, at the time of marriage, a girl can say that I would like to go to school, I would like to complete my education, and it will cost up to $20,000. So my condition is that you pay for that.

00:29:10 --> 00:29:18

For example, okay, she could say that. As long as it's not that she's saying, I want to go to law school, and you have to pay for my entire law school.

00:29:20 --> 00:29:59

He's like, My pockets are empty. I caught nothing. I'm almost the same age as you. Right. I'm also just freshly out of school. I don't have the money. So it has to be my roof. All right. So what I want you to understand over here is that the girl is not being bought here, because this is what some people say, oh my god is like buying the girl. See the father is setting a condition. So the father is receiving benefit. No, it's not just the father who's receiving benefit. The daughter had to do this work. Wasn't she doing this work? Wasn't she taking the flock to the watering place every day? wasn't that difficult for her? It was Didn't she have to wait for a long time, wasn't it so

00:30:00 --> 00:30:12

awkward for her and difficult for her to do this. So now if Musa cinemas marrying her the condition is that okay? You have to do that the girl is off the hook now now she's free you understand

00:30:13 --> 00:31:07

okay. So what happened Who says and um Does he accept this offer kata he said that Lika that is benei ouabain. UK, between me and between you meaning I accept this is established this is confirmed between me and you I accept in a like indica, the man says Kaabil to I accept. So, this is another form of saying COVID to I accept a UML or Delaney. He says a Yemma, whichever, allegedly, any of the two terms of I do I complete, meaning whether it is eight years or 10 years, whichever term I complete, fellas or not, or the one I lay here, or the one injustice, I layer on me, meaning it's very fair deal. I don't see any injustice over here, eight years or 10 years, both are fine. Let's

00:31:07 --> 00:31:33

see how much I am able to do. Well Allah Who and Allah is Allah upon minor Oh no, that which we say, what Keelan a witness, Allah is a witness over what we say. So basically, the contract was agreed this was the marriage proposal and its acceptance, the Mahara was set. Hijab and Qubool was done. And Musa al Islam is, is married? Aren't you excited?

00:31:35 --> 00:31:39

Who saw this I was married. Now he has a family

00:31:40 --> 00:32:05

where he was basically homeless. Now he's got a family, a father in law and a wife, Sister in law, he's even got a job. He's even got some work. Right? Look at the blessings of marriage. Okay. Either we think marriage is a solution to all of our life's problems. Or we think that marriage is going to be the beginning of all our life's problems.

00:32:07 --> 00:32:09

It's to extremes that we exist in

00:32:10 --> 00:33:00

marriage is difficult, but it also has its blessings. Right? You know, it's amazing how literally, a person will get married. And very soon they'll even find a job. They'll even find work. You know, seriously, I've seen this in so many people. They have a child. All right, and they're worried. How are we going to afford everything the car seat and the diapers and the clothes and whatnot? How are we going to afford all of this and all of a sudden the man he even gets a promotion? Right? For example, all of a sudden, the money is just enough hamdulillah so the thing is that our provider is not we ourselves, it is not a certain job that we're doing. Our provider is Allah subhanho wa taala.

00:33:02 --> 00:33:11

So, if we have to take care of ourselves, or two people or from two to three, or from three to five, how many ever Allah is their provider.

00:33:12 --> 00:33:16

The job is a means a person is a means.

00:33:17 --> 00:33:25

So as the family grows as responsibilities grow, Allah subhanaw taala will also give risk accordingly.

00:33:26 --> 00:33:37

So Musa Saddam, he accepted this marriage offer. One thing that we see over here is about most artists, and I'm that for the next eight years, where's he going to be living?

00:33:38 --> 00:33:41

Where is he going to be living in Medina, but with who?

00:33:42 --> 00:33:43

His father in law,

00:33:44 --> 00:33:46

generally don't we see the opposite,

00:33:47 --> 00:33:59

that the girl has to move in with the husband's family. Here we see that the husband, the boy, the man is moving in with the wife's family.

00:34:00 --> 00:34:06

That means that is also okay. There's nothing wrong with that.

00:34:07 --> 00:34:16

As long as we respect other people's privacy and their space and also their lives, right? We don't try to interfere and whatnot, this is

00:34:17 --> 00:34:39

fine, there is nothing wrong with that. Because the man Yes, he is supposed to provide for his wife for his family, he is supposed to provide the accommodation and everything. But provision is not always in the form of a house money, etc. It can also be in the form of service, it can also be in the form of support.

00:34:40 --> 00:34:50

See, the thing is that we now think that I have to be independent we have to be independent. But Allah subhanaw taala has not created us independent.

00:34:51 --> 00:34:59

He has created us dependent on who on him, and also on one another on each

00:35:00 --> 00:35:55

Other and this is Allah's mercy because as human beings, we cannot survive by ourselves, we need one another, we need each other. And Allah subhanaw taala has created a healthy dependency, all right between people, that the needs of one person, the fulfillment of the needs of one person have been kept in the other, meaning one person cannot fulfill all of his needs by himself, he needs somebody else for the fulfillment of his or her needs. We cannot survive alone. We cannot live by ourselves, we need people with us around us. And if we try to do everything ourselves, we're only going to harm and destroy ourselves. We are the ones who will feel alone, we will experience loneliness, no

00:35:55 --> 00:36:38

friendship. You know, those moments when we are desperate for companionship, those moments when we're desperate for just somebody on our side to listen to us. So when Allah has created this healthy dependency between people, we should accept it. And we should look at the positive side of it instead of complaining about its difficulties. Remember, the Prophet sallallahu sallam said that a person who lives amongst people tolerating the hurt that they caused them is better than a person who is alone cut off from others, and he does not tolerate anything that people do to him. Who's better the one who's doing subpar, or the one who's not doing sub, or the one who's doing sub, he's

00:36:38 --> 00:36:39

always better.

00:36:40 --> 00:36:52

So Lisa has some he doesn't feel any shyness over here in accepting this because it seems, okay. He's getting in fact, another opportunity to help somebody.

00:36:53 --> 00:37:04

You see all this think this way, I have an opportunity to help someone, I am now going to be on the giving side, not just on the receiving side.

00:37:05 --> 00:37:14

One more thing we see here, but most artists Anam is that he accepts the marriage proposal. He's marrying someone who is from his native land.

00:37:16 --> 00:37:19

Is he marrying someone who's from back home?

00:37:20 --> 00:37:21

Who is it?

00:37:22 --> 00:37:28

Who is it? Who is he marrying a foreigner in which land in a foreign land?

00:37:30 --> 00:37:33

Why doesn't he just wait for somebody from back home?

00:37:35 --> 00:37:44

They would have their culture to share and the language to share. The foods will be the same and everything will be similar one that'd be nicer.

00:37:45 --> 00:37:51

Why does he accept this marriage to a foreigner? Why?

00:37:53 --> 00:38:05

Because this brought him the blessings of marriage, a family of companionship of work. So he's overlooking the differences over here. And he's focused on the hair

00:38:06 --> 00:38:35

that is going to come about from this union. Right? So this is also something that we need to get over. Right? That even though people from two different backgrounds, they've been born in the same country, same country, they've gone to similar schools, they're working in similar places, they've been brought up in a very similar way. But just because the skin color is different, or the mother tongue is different, which neither of them speak really well. Marriage is not possible No way. Why not?

00:38:37 --> 00:38:45

It would be better to marry somebody who was, you know, from your local area instead of back home, because you might have better understanding with them.

00:38:47 --> 00:39:02

I'm not saying that's always the case. I'm not saying that. That is the reason why you should reject a proposal. I'm just telling you know that this is also an option that should be considered. Remember the Hadith the Prophet sallallahu sallam said that a person is married for one of four reasons.

00:39:03 --> 00:39:04

What reasons,

00:39:05 --> 00:39:32

beauty, wealth, or nessa lineage, and we think, Oh, why we don't do that we do that. Of course, we do that, because we want the person to be from back home also. Right? And all of those conditions that we have set, they are helpful, but they're not essential for a marriage to work out. They're not essential. Now over here, don't you want to say anything about marriage? It's such a hot topic.

00:39:33 --> 00:39:33

Go ahead.

00:39:36 --> 00:39:59

So recently, an anthropology class we learned that there was a tribe of aboriginal tribes, and every time it was it came to marriage. They would make sure that who their daughter or son was being married to had to be of a different tribe and they had to speak a different language so that there would be a diversity of language and you are not allowed to marry somebody from your tribe. Interesting. It has its pluses, right. It has its benefits.

00:40:00 --> 00:40:06

There is more diversity. And that is healthy from vanilla. And else. Any questions?

00:40:08 --> 00:40:34

So, he said that you can put in a condition for marriage. And then he gave the example of some people do it. So they say that you can't marry another woman. Is that allowed? Because you're making something that I mean, technically, technically because a man is allowed, okay? So he shouldn't be forbidden from something that he is allowed to do. Just be good to him so that he doesn't even consider marrying somebody else. Okay?

00:40:35 --> 00:41:20

Just remember, it has to be Marouf meaning acceptable, culturally doable for the man and something that's not forcing him to leave something that Allah allows him or forbids him from doing something that Allah has ordered him to do. Right? Like, for example, girl says, My condition is that you must must go for Fajr Salah to the masjid every day. Okay. And then she's the one who's watching movies at night with him. How is he going to wake up in the morning and go for pleasure? All right. So in the understandable conditions, and this alters teaches us that really, I mean, the fact that based on one interaction they understand who musalla Salaam is, they're not digging into his past. They

00:41:20 --> 00:41:41

don't send somebody to Egypt and find out really, is this true or not? They accepted scientists in arms word, because they have seen his trustworthiness, they have seen his strength. And they accept that. Our problem is that if we find out about somebody, we have to dig into their past, like past like 20 years or something, and not just their past the past of the entire family.

00:41:42 --> 00:41:49

All right, and then we find something very strange and based on that shutdown, shutdown, shutdown. I mean, everybody is rejected.

Share Page

Related Episodes