Taimiyyah Zubair – Taleem al Quran 2012 – P02 031C Tafsir Al-Baqarah 229

Taimiyyah Zubair
AI: Summary © The speakers discuss the limits and hesitation of Islam, including the use of words like "has" and "hasn't" and emphasize the importance of following specific rules and avoiding violating limits. They also discuss the positive impact of men being sexual with and the importance of men protecting privacy and desire for sexual satisfaction. The speakers advise avoiding sexual satisfaction and emphasize the need for men to establish sexual relations, finding a wholesaler, and waiting until the woman has completed divorce before deciding whether to continue with the relationship.
AI: Transcript ©
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felucca hadoo de la these are the limits set by Allah, this rule that Allah is giving you with regards to follow up with regards to holer these are the hurdles the commands that who has given Allah subhanaw taala has given.

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Allah says filata artha do her, so do not transgress a do not transgress these limits, there are two dues from mine who are the one to cross the limits. It's all to enmity because in enmity people transgress.

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So Falletta do have these boundaries, these limits that Allah has said, do not violate them do not transgress them.

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Whatever dude, I told you, they are the shadow air the commands that Allah has given

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and heard others also use for prohibitions, those things that Allah has prohibited.

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So it includes two things. Hadoop includes two things, what first of all, the commands the do's and secondly, the prohibitions the don'ts,

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if it is said, flat or third, do head do not transgress them. That it means do not disobey the commands that Allah has given

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that what does it mean do not disobey the commands that Allah has given?

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But if it says fella taco Guha, do not approach them, then what does it mean? The prohibitions don't commit them.

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What did I just say? Who can repeat it?

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Who can repeat it? What I explained concerning Hadith

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good mashallah, Baraka lo Viki, that if it says with regards to the Hadith, that filata artha do had that it means the Hadith are the commands that Allah has given that do not disobey them, rather, fulfill them, obey them, observe them, follow them? And if it says Fela, Takara, booyah, then what does it mean? These prohibitions don't commit them?

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You don't just like a private property.

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Okay. Does it have a boundary wall? does have a boundary wall? Yes. Those who are outside are not allowed to go inside.

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So what does it say? No trespassing. Don't even approach this boundary wall stay away from here. So it's like prohibitions, stay away from them. Okay.

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And then there are some other places where you are supposed to be confined within a certain area.

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So for example, in this classroom, if you want to attend the class, you have to be in the classroom, you can't be sitting in the washrooms you can't be sitting in the cafeteria, you can't be sitting in the hallways, where do you have to be? Where do you have to be within the bounds of the classroom? So do not transgress the bones when you don't go outside of them Don't disobey the rules?

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Okay, so over here, Allah says, still gotta do the LA fenetre. Gotta do ha.

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These are the commands of Allah don't transgress them meaning, observe the commands that Allah has given to you.

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But if you want to observe the commands that Allah has given to you, then what does it mean? You have to use your mind, right?

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You cannot just follow your desires and your emotions, but at the time of divorce, what happens typically, what do people follow the heart or the mind?

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They follow the hearts.

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But Allah tells us use your brain

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filata duha be conscious, because the decision of divorce is a very, very serious one. It should not be an emotional one. But rather, it should be one that is deliberate, that is conscious that a person is his mind and heart are into it. He deliberately makes that decision.

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So for that artha do her woman yet or do the law and whoever transgresses the limits that Allah has said, Whoever disregards the commands that Allah has given for Allah eco who was on the moon, then those people are who they are lonely Moon florala vollem. There are unjust they're actually unjust.

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Who are the unjust stewards? They're committing injustice towards who?

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They're committing injustice against themselves. When a person harms another, who is he harming? He's actually harming himself, because he is presenting himself to Allah for punishment.

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Whenever person harms another, it's as though he's saying Oh Allah, punish me.

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This is what he's saying.

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So Allah says, Allah equals Ali Moon

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Then such people are as well him.

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And with regard to Islam, the Prophet sallallahu sallam said that Allah subhanaw taala says he, everybody in the have run to Walmart, Allah and I've seen all my servants. Indeed, I have forbidden injustice upon myself that Allah does not do, Lord. And so what does it mean? We also don't do what you're allowed to who Boehner can Mohammed fell out of Orlando, and I've made you haram for you as well. So don't do loin on one another.

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When do people do learn on each other? When do they commit injustice against one another?

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When they're fighting, when they have differences, when they're selfish, right? Yes.

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To get revenge, yes. Out of arrogance, out of anger out of jealousy, out of pride, right? There are many reasons behind why people commit injustice, Who do people commit injustice towards typically?

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Obviously, others, but who are those others?

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Sign up.

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Sometimes the people who are closest to you.

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Because when it comes to strangers, when it comes to people whom you don't know, then we have been taught in schools, that you have to be courteous, you have to be nice. You have to be polite, right? If somebody's coming, you open the door for them. But at home, if your brother's coming, you hit the door in his face, and it doesn't matter. Right? Outside, if you're at a restaurant, and and the person who was actually being paid to serve you food, if they bring your food to your table, you say, well, thank you so much, could you please get me this as well. But at home, where your mother or your older sibling, if they get food for you, you say, Why is it like this? And why not like

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Right? We think that it's okay, to be unfair, to be rude to be harsh towards those who are closest to us. So we see that the closer a person is to us,

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the more chances there are of committing injustice towards them.

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But at the same time, there are also more chances to do your son towards them. You can either do it yourself, or you can do so it's up to you.

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Right? So the relationship, the husband and the wife. Right? They live together very close to one another. They have duties, they have obligations, they have rights. Can they do one on one another? very easily, very easily. How does the woman dissolve on her husband? Let's talk about ourselves first. Yes.

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Okay, not fulfilling his right, his needs. And this is something very major, that many women don't give much importance. So they're like, Yeah, so what? What's the big deal? And they ignore his desires or his right to have intimate relations and think it's not a big deal. It is a very big deal. Do you realize the place and the time that you're living in the kind of fitna that is out there these days.

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I remember, there was a discussion that some women were having about sexual relations after having children. Because after having children, especially when children are younger, when many women, they are more focused on their children, and they tend to ignore their husbands a lot.

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So one of the men, he said in that discussion, that if you want to protect your husband, that you better give importance to him as well, and you better take care of his needs as well. And these are not Muslims. By the way. He was saying that if you want your husband to turn towards incorrect ways of fulfilling his desires, then go ahead, ignore him.

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If you want him to what we call haram, what we call forbidden, then go ahead. If you want him to indulge in *, and having friends outside of marriage, then go ahead, ignore his rights, ignore his needs and desires.

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Many women don't even understand how men are, what their desires are, what their needs are. And they get married thinking, Oh, it's okay. Not a big deal. It is a big deal.

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It is a big deal.

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So not fulfilling the right of the husband, this is actually one.

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This is actually one and a woman will be answerable to Allah subhanaw taala for that, what else is against the husband on the part of the wife?

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Yes, being ungrateful

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that the poor guy is working all day long and he comes home and the woman angry and frustrated Where were you all day and we have to do this and we have to go there. And you don't even do this and you don't even call that person.

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He comes home after a whole day of work, only to see his wife upset and angry.

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What else is, is

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wasting his money? Doing piano, he earned money, he brought it home, gave it to you, you go for groceries, you buy all that food and you waste it. You buy all those clothes and you never wear them.

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You waste his money. This is not fair. Yes.

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Backbiting him,

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talking bad about him, when he's not there with who, with your friends, with your siblings, with your cousins with your co workers. This is not right. This is injustice. Your husband is actually a more sin? Yes, he's not perfect. But after all, he's done a lot of good towards you. And if you start talking bad about him, this is not fair.

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So one is not allowed. On the other hand, how does the husband does work on his wife, when he does not

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financially support her when he does not take care of her needs when he disregards her feelings, her preferences, right? That he doesn't care if she has an exam the next day, he doesn't care if you know his family is treating her in a bad way. This regarding her completely this is something that is low.

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Now, one more thing that we must all remember, supporting zone is also zone.

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Supporting loan is also learn

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that if for example, your brother is being unjust towards his wife, and you as a sister can see that what is your obligation that you stop him, you speak to him, you make him understand? Or if you see that your mother is being unfair towards your sister in law, what is your obligation that you defend your sister in law, you explain to your mother, if you see injustice happening within your own house, it is your obligation to stand up?

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It is your obligation to stand up many times it happens that there's the daughter in law, she may be expecting she may be having young children, but still it is expected of her that she will do the dishes while the sister in law sits in front of the television and flips all the channels away.

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That is alone.

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It isn't justice. Likewise, it is expected that the daughter in law, she is going to cook she is going to clean while nobody else will help her. Why is it expected of her? Is she not a human being? Would you do that to your own daughter? Would you like that to happen to your own self? Never.

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So don't treat another the way you don't want to be treated.

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If the husband does not give any importance to the wife's family does not even respect them. That is also injustice. Okay. Both are obligated to have respect for the families of their spouses. Okay? And if they're unfair, that would be

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if you see your parents doing zoom upon one another, then what are you supposed to do?

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What are you supposed to do? You are supposed to talk to them you are supposed to stand up, especially if you've become adults. Allah subhanaw taala has given you knowledge of the deen some understanding, you can see what's happening in the house, then it is your obligation to stand up. So for example, if you see that your father is being treated with unfairness that your mother is always yelling at him, Your mother is always demanding from him, or that your mother is being abused by your father that you have to stand up.

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You have to take care of your mother, you have to take care of your father, you have to support the one who is being abused who is being treated with unfairness with injustice.

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Okay. And many times it happens that a girl

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if she's having problems with their husband, they could be not that such major problems. But if she's having problems, she talks to her family.

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And her family supports her like anything.

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And because of that, the marriage could literally break apart.

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And because that girl has the support of her father of her brother, she demands whatever she wants to find the husband she says whatever she wants to do the husband, this is also

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you're not helping that marriage, you're actually ruining that marriage, you're actually destroying that marriage more. It happens many times that husband and wife they have problems. And you know what? Friends even have fights the best best friends also have fights. You know, Best Friends Forever also have fights and arguments.

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So the husband and wife it's only inevitable that they will have fights

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And you're angry one woman, the next moment, it's okay.

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One day you were upset, and the next day, you're fine. One week you're upset, but the next week, it's okay. You get over it.

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Correct. But if you get your family involved in it, it's going to create more problems for you. And I've seen this many people, they're good people, a very happy couple, and all of a sudden you're surprised what's happening to them. What's happening, their families are now involved. The girl's father is saying, you get a house of your own, and you do this and this and this and only then I will send my daughter back.

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And the husband, his family saying change your doorstep, change your doorstep, change your doorstep. You know, that means inshallah you learn about that those of you who know, know, and those of you don't, it's a long story. It's about Ibrahim alayhis salam, and it's Merida.

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When Ibrahim Rolison and figuratively sent a message to his son is married, that divorce your wife, but he didn't want to say directly. So he said, Change your doorstep meaning because door sent me know the first thing that you see when you come to somebody's house. So your wife, not a good person, divorce her. So that's what the family of the boys saying gender doorstep again and again, and you feel oh, my father, if he knows the story, or my mother knows the story, their religious, their bias, they know what they're talking about, okay? Divorce.

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So, solve your problems yourself.

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So all of your problems yourself, many of you are young over here. And this is the one advice that I can give you from now, whenever you get married, please solve your problems yourself with your husband, whatever is a private matter between the two of you, it should not go outside of your room, even, it should stay as a secret between the two of you, and have that confidence to talk to one another. Don't shy away, discuss matters openly. Don't keep grudges in the heart and then eventually break apart after like three, four months and get everything out and then be at the verge of breaking up No, this is not correct. Discuss solve problems yourself and only if the matter becomes

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extremely serious, then involve other people. Otherwise, there is no need to create a scene in front of others. And to make matters worse for yourself and for others.

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So in desire, we see many things First of all, we see the permissibility of breaking a marriage where and when there is a need to do so how is that going to happen the man he can give the divorce and the woman she can take the

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she can take the color

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but this divorce this holler should not be used as blackmail. Okay, that the husband says, you know, I could give you a divorce, you know, you better do this. Or he's upset and, and he mentioned indirectly, he talks about divorce indirectly. There is no need to do that again and again, this is something serious and it should not be used to just hurt other people's feelings. Likewise, the woman should also refrain from such things. Like some women, they're crazy. They keep saying to their husbands divorce me divorce me divorce me, why do you want trouble for yourself?

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Another important thing that we learned from this versus that divorce,

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it is only valid when it's pronounced once at one occasion.

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Meaning if divorce is pronounced more than one time, at one occasion, okay? That means that divorce is only once because Allah subhanaw taala says a fella called Murata and Milan bar de mer meaning one occasion, divorce and then another occasion divorce.

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So if a man he's very angry at his wife, and he says, divorce, divorce, divorce divorce, and he doesn't stop at the speed of saying palapa Pollock, okay, he goes on and on and on.

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So is that 1000 divorces? Is that a million divorces? Is that three divorces? Is that two divorces? How many divorces is it? One because it is one occasion because Allah says a Falco mud water in two different instances, two different occasions because it's very common amongst people that they will fit well after law Pollock. Three times or they will write the law palapa luck. I divorced you I divorced you I divorced you and they think that colors it's done. No, it's not done. It's only one divorce. Yes.

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In terms of sending papers, giving divorce and writing, even if you send three documents at one occasion, it will be considered one divorce because it's one occasion and if that

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instance repeats, then it will be the second divorce. Okay.

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There are two opinions concerning this. Some scholars have said that if a person gives divorce multiple times at one occasion that it will be considered only one divorce regardless of how many times he pronounces the divorce, it will be considered how many divorces one because Allah says in the Quran

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and the Hadith of the Prophet sallallahu Sallam in which we learned that once a man, he divorced his wife three times at once. Okay, so when the Prophet salallahu, salam, he found out about that he stood up in anger, and he said, is the book of Allah played with while I'm amongst you, that what are you doing? You're playing with the book of Allah and I'm amongst you, there's something that's not permissible.

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So if it was valid, the Prophet sallallahu Sallam would not have become angry,

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you understand he would not have become angry, if that was a valid way of giving divorce.

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But we see that this started happening quite frequently,

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that people would get upset and they would set the lock the lock the lock, okay? And it became very, very frequent. And it's very difficult for a woman to use such words again and again, you know, one bullet after the other, like three bullets in a row, three arrows in a row. It's very hard,

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even though it's considered one divorce, but still, it's very hard. So remodel the lower and when he was Khalifa. He wanted to set some consequences for saying this. So what did he do? He said that people are being hasty with regard to a matter in which they should not rush, let us counted as three and judge between people accordingly. So he said he made the rule when he was a Khalifa, that if you get divorced three times, at one occasion, it will be considered as three divorces. But he was the Khalifa. So he made this as the law of that time.

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Okay, but it doesn't mean that this became the law of Islam. Do you understand it became the law of that time, but not the law of Islam?

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So this is the reason why the stronger opinion is that if a person pronounces divorce more than one time, at an occasion, it will still be considered only one divorce.

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Another thing that we learned from this idea is that

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of Polacco Murata on two different occasions. So this means that the luck cannot be given to a woman when she is in her ADA.

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So, for example, the man says Talak and now she's inherited the three menstrual cycles, right? She has to wait for like we learned yesterday.

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So she's inherited the after her second period, they had a fight, and the husband says bollock. So now does it mean that this is her second divorce and now she has to start her again three months? No, it doesn't carry any importance, but it is a word of lieu of injustice on the part of the husband. So he will be answerable to Allah because of that, he will be sinful because of what he said. But that for lack will not take any effect. Because Allah says medulla tan there are two different occasions and Ebola is followed by reader

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is a clear? Yes.

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Exactly. During the reader, the woman is still in the house of the man. Okay. So at that time, the man cannot give divorce.

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Another important thing that we learned in this verse is with regards to the wholesaler, the wholesaler that when a woman takes holler, then her Aida is one month. It's not three menstrual cycles.

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When it comes to the lack of luxury, when it comes to Tanaka luxury, the revocable divorce the twice the two chances, okay, there is there for that is three menstrual cycles. And where's that? Spent? It is spent in the house of the husband.

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Okay, where is it spent in the house of the husband? Okay. Why? Because the husband still has the chance to take her back

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after a month because he's seeing her, she's still in the house, she's still cooking, and she's encouraged in fact, to adorn herself to be extra good. So that the husband is more inclined towards her so that the relationship can continue.

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Okay. So if after some time the husband says I regret what I said, and he wants to fix things, then he can reconcile, but that will be done by Re establishing sexual relations. Once that is done. Then there is the is over, and they continue with their happy life.

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But if that three months are over, the three menstrual cycles are over, and the man did not do to joueur

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Then the divorce is complete and the woman goes back to wherever to her family to wherever. But if let's say after some time does Ben says it was a mistake, and inshallah we will learn about that later as well. And he wants to get back with her then what do they have to do Nick?

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Okay, they have to get married again. But how many times can they do this only twice? Okay, the third divorce the bat in divorce, where will the woman spent they're not in the house of the husband because there's no Doer after that she will go away from there and she will spend there that elsewhere okay, but still there it does, how much three menstrual cycles. Why do reveal the pregnancy when it comes to holiday? However, how much is there?

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One menstrual cycle? Why?

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Why do I reveal the pregnancy? But why not three months, because there is no desire on the part of the husband or the wife who are now separated who are now divorced to get back together. The woman was seeking the divorce. So there is no reason why they would get back together. And if they do want to get back together than what has to happen afterwards. Nikka

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okay, just like to any other people get married, they have to get married as well. Yes.

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So then she will take holler, okay, so the case of the hula is what how much is there to repeat one month where will that either be spent?

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No, not in the house of the husband. It will be spent elsewhere because both are not Maham to each other anymore. When it comes to the lack of luxury in there a dove both are still maharam. But if there is no doer, no sexual relations between the two in that period of data, then after that has finished, they're not Muharram anymore. They go their own ways.

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So in other words, what is new for you over here is that Allah does not happen just like that.

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What do we think for that is divorce, everything finished? Woman Goes her way. Does bond goes his way. Both never see each other again. This is not the way divorce happens in Islam. It happens in stages.

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There is a three month period in which the husband has time to think to re evaluate that do I mean what I said? Is it really what I want? Am I serious about this? And if he is then he will not do the jeweler? But if he's not then he will do to somebody raise their hand from you? Yes.

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Because the woman is taking divorce. Okay, the man is okay. He doesn't mind abusing. Okay. So he's very happy with that setting. Okay, but the woman she's not happy she's like I can't stand this I'm walking away. I don't want anything of his and besides I don't think she's going to want to have anything that he gave her anyway. She's walking away from that marriage you know there was a an article once on BBC they did survey of what people did with their wedding rings when they got divorced

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and what did people do some threw them in lakes some in oceans some bury them some just threw them in the garbage some just you know discarded them. I mean, they're things of value maybe made of platinum or silver or gold with diamonds in them but people got rid of them. Why? Because someone whom you were married to before what they gave you or what you gave them you don't want to look at it again. Because every time you look at it, it reminds you of your past

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so it's actually good for a woman to give back what the man gave her yes

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yeah, like for example if a person is living in Canada, okay and if they go through divorce, then what do they have to do they have to follow the Sharia law as well as the local law so for example the Sharia law they have to wait the process and everything but legally also they should be declared as divorce okay recitation

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whole thing

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time to move

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in love

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gamer who do the more interesting

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Do you do the long you

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didn't do the long

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