Channel: Tahir Wyatt
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What are ways to support your husband? When work slows down? And it messes with his confidence? Now? Well, this is a very important question, because
Further now Salatu, Salam ala,
he was happy human, what am I, the first thing is important to know
is that it is solely the responsibility of a man to care for his family. Even if he has less money than she has, even if his assets are less, even if his income is less, it's still his sole responsibility to take care of her, and the family.
And our profit it is someone who said I mentioned that digital with that during the the last hij, it's those who've been nice. And he hailong, the province of light, it was said, I'm saying, you know, he's commanding us to take good care of the women. And then he says, in applying you is an F of culture, when that or kiss, what you wouldn't have been able to find you to maintain or provide for them and close them in a manner that is my roof, and my roof comes from the root out of fun or under oath, which means what is customarily acceptable amongst your particular people. So that's the first thing and I it's important for us, because in this particular society that we live in is very
common for people to split the bills. That's not a slam dunk.
So if you hear people like at a, before they get married, and they start talking about, you know, well, how are we going to split up the bills, that's, that's the wrong person, they need to be educated, because the bills are not going to be split
your man, you pay for the water bills, and the gas bill and electric bill and every other bill, that is pertaining to the needs of the family. However, what does happen sometimes, and this is often the case,
in certain communities where there was a war on men, and that happened in this country, it shouldn't be denied.
There, there's a war on certain nationalities, I don't want to sound nationalistic. So I'm not gonna say certain things, I already know how stuff gets cut up and slice and dice.
But the reality is, is that certain people were incarcerated.
Their women were encouraged to
seek government assistance. And only way they'd be able to get that assistance as if they were not married. And so it just kind of led to,
you know, basically women going in one direction, men going in another direction, in a split of in a split of families.
And we live in a society where a lot of people based on how they live, and it's not necessarily a bad thing, in terms of how they live. But in terms of standards, where one income just isn't enough for the family to survive, or to to have to meet their their needs. One income is not enough, it depends, obviously, depends on what kind of gainful employment the brother is able to have. So what do we do in a situation like that?
What was the question again? How can a woman support a husband? Yeah, so that's confidence. Yeah, for the last conference. So so in this in this situation, it reminds us of the Haji the Masoli alongside an angle where his wife was going to give the cat and he said, I have more right to that Duquette than anyone else.
understand what's happening. Why is this white Givens again?
Because she has surplus wealth.
He's saying he's eligible to receive the cat because his income doesn't meet his needs. And so they went to the prophet Isaiah solanco sin, and he confirmed with Miss Hussain. And so that's because the right wife doesn't have a responsibility to take care of her husband, therefore hers the cat can actually go to her husband whereas the husband has the responsibility to take care of his wife so he can't give the cat to his wife or his children or something like that, because he's responsible for them. And so in this type of situation, a man has to
A man has to swallow his pride. And that doesn't mean that we don't work towards what is most pleasing to a lot of parents in the sense that we have to take care of our families. But if you happen to be in a situation, where you just really don't have those means and your wife does, that you need to communicate. And that's why it's very important. So that you can explain to her, you can talk to her about how it makes you feel it Look, I don't like the situation I'm in right now, this is not something that's pleasing to Me. But this is where we are. And she can say, Okay, this is what I can do. And I'm willing to do this, let's say let's put it let's try to put a six month
timeframe, you know, time period on so that she's not the one thing that she definitely can do that will help his confidence is not make him feel that he is less of a man because he's not providing or he doesn't have the ability to provide that particular tag.
And, and to avoid what is known in Arabic And men, which is to which is to remind somebody of the favors that you've done for them because this is this is also from bad character and we talked about the importance of good character and maintaining a healthy and happy marriage. So avoiding that constant reminder what I'm doing for you and me even if they may disagree about something the first thing she can't you know, she can't just come and say wait a minute, what are you telling me you want all your rights? Are you paying all the bills and you know, then it goes into why those things and now again, that's going to you know, make him feel like less of a man because we do well as
Muslims we have a higher standard for ourselves and for our men than anybody else in this society. And because of that, and because of that they can come a point where if we're not able to live up to that ideal, right that standard, then we may lose that confidence but a person should never lose confidence in Allah subhana wa tada and his ability to bring them out of the difficult situation that they're in. Oh man, tequila, Johnson massage and whoever and suffer the loss of my dad. Allah will make a way for me to make a way out for them. Well, Zuko maintains that he will provide for them from places that they never expected to live and sometimes some of the work and let me know how