Happiness is a Choice!
Channel: Sulaimaan Ravat
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amount of Ramadan
now after Ramadan to continue reciting the Quran, Allah subhanho wa Taala instill the love of the Quran in each and every one of our hearts.
Now we come to the main program, Briana
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Salam Alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh
Hello, we learn how to get I mean, while it
was salatu salam on official Colombia you will mousseline so you're gonna want to begin our mowlana Mohamed while he was happy as mine
will be led you into shape honorable Jean, this new learn and walk learning
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VEDA VEDA nefs hokum aka la Salatu was salam, honorable Allah, Allah, respected brothers listeners. Let me begin this morning by asking you a question.
What is the most elusive thing in the world?
What is the one thing that everyone is looking for? But very few people seem to find? What is that one thing with regards to which 1000s of books have been written, universities around the world are lecturing on it.
Scientists have been studying it for ages, governments are appointing cabinet positions to oversee it. The UN has declared an international day after its Google Analytics prove that people are searching for it actually has become so rare that everyone wealthy, talented, powerful achievers, leaders. They all seem to be searching for it. But most seem to have failed in finding it. What is this most elusive thing that I'm referring to? The answer is happiness. Yes, happiness. We judge everything in terms of how happy it will make us. We often hear people say to what makes you happy. Your happiness is most important. Every human yearns to lead a happy life. Happiness is the only
goal on earth that all people are seeking without exception. It is perhaps the most encompassing and common goal in our lives. Now since everyone is searching for happiness, yet it is so elusive. Very few are able to find it. I thought it would be appropriate on this happy day to talk about happiness to touch on this topic.
Because brothers, if we can understand what is true happiness and how to achieve it, if we can understand what is true happiness and how to achieve it, then every day in our lives will be a day of eat.
If you can lead a happy life, every day in your life will be a day of me. My talk will revolve around answering four questions. The first, why is happiness to use it? Why is it so hard to find? The second, what is happiness? The third, what is happiness comprised of? And the fourth? How can we choose to be happy? So in the course of this discourse, I will attempt inshallah to answer these four, four questions. Let's start with the first one. What is happiness? so elusive? Why is it so difficult to find? Why so many people failing to find happiness? The simple answer is, our approach is wrong. We are searching for happiness in the wrong places, we are looking for happiness in the
next purchase, in a better house, in a better car, in cooler technology, the most fashionable clothing in a better job, in the next holiday, we are looking for happiness in the next person, we are chasing the next and the next and the next. And we think when we get that next day, then we will be happy. But then happiness continues to remain elusive. We need to understand one thing, material possessions, material possessions, will give you a temporary boost of pleasure. But it will never bring you through happiness. Because after a while you will start longing for the next thing. Once you get the first day, it will bring you temporary superficial happiness. And after a while you
start adding you start yearning for the next thing, you start becoming bored with that thing which you have acquired and you thought initially would bring you happiness doesn't bring you the happiness. unhappy people are unhappy. Why? What are happy people unhappy, because they focus on what they don't have. They focus on what they don't have, they feel the need to have something they don't have to become happy. And only a tiny focus of their lives is narrowed down to what they don't have. And they don't appreciate what they do have. So their lives become boring. What is already granted them does not bring them any satisfaction. And happy people are unhappy because they are
always looking at the negatives in life. They are always living in either the past or worrying about the future, but they don't focus on the present. And as a result, happiness continues to remain elusive. So that's the first question, why is happiness elusive? The second question, what is happiness, we all talk about it, we all want it We are all searching for it. After all, what is happiness? When you study the teachings of the scholars, and you study the findings of psychologists, it boils down to this happiness is the consistent mental and emotional state of well being. Happiness is the constant mental and emotional state of well being. Happiness has more to do
with your internal condition than your external circumstances. When you have a general feeling of contentment and satisfaction in your life, that you are a happy you will be a very nice quote. They said, happiness is not a destination that you arrive at. It is a matter of travelling.
Happiness is not a destination that you arrive at. It is a matter of delivery. Your happiness, progress is based solely on your decision to be happy. And this could be the most important decision that you take in your life. We need to stop searching for happiness. The search for happiness is the main reason why we are happy. You don't need to look for happiness, because happiness is not out there it is in here. It's in your heart, in your soul in your mind. Happiness is a choice. You have to choose to be happy. This is my catchphrase for today's discussion.
And you'll hear me repeating this on a regular basis throughout the talk. Happiness is a choice. You have to choose to be happy. So that's the answer to the second question, what is happiness? Let's move on to the third question. What does happiness comprise of? What is happiness made up of? psychologists tell us happiness is made up of three things. The first part brings you 50% of your happiness. The second part brings you 10% of your happiness. And the third part brings you 40% of your happiness. What is the first part? It comes from a generic
setpoint it means that some people are naturally more happier than others. Some people are naturally more happier than others. So your genetic set point gives you 50% of your happiness, the 10% that comes from your circumstances, your wealth, status, your career, your demographic factors, all those things that apply in your life. And the 40%. The remaining 40% is as of as a result of the actions that you do, or you do not do. The actions that you choose to do or not to do is what brings you 40% of happiness. Now, if we unpack this, the first 50% is genetic. So there's nothing you can do about it. Either you have it or not, you have no control over that. The next 10% is circumstances. And we
have very little control over circumstances. So the 60% is pretty much beyond our control. So what does this non teachers teach us, you apply the principle of law, the law, and happy with the degree of law, when it comes to natural happiness when it comes to happiness as a result of circumstances, I'm happy with the degree of natural law 1400 years there is a lot of talk to us about this concept of happiness. Today, researchers are saying that the psychological immune system works the best when you don't have a choice, when the decision has already been made for you. Because when you have too many options in life, life becomes complicated. What a beautiful two hour binary has taught us with
regards to 60%, which is beyond your control. Our evolution is in Pokhara Allahumma ne ne Pema has up to three, or whatever sustenance we are given me, Grant me contentment daily,
weekly fee, and whatever little you have given me, my Allah put Baraka in it. And the last sentence which is relevant, more relevant to our discussion, was loosely adequately VA, if you leave behind Allah, Grant me something better for each thing that you have decided not to give me over for everything that you didn't give me which I want, Grant me something better. So the 60% of happiness, we have very little control over it, we apply that when we apply a lot, we take in direct control of the situation, because we are happy with the victory of Allah. But our focus should be on the 40%, the 40%, which is the result of actions that we choose to do or not to do, because that is within
our control. That will tell you one thing, happy people don't wait for life to be perfect or even to be near perfect. Happy people don't wait for life to be perfect before they are happy. Happiness is a choice. Happiness is a choice. You have to choose to be happy. That's the third question. Now we move on to the fourth question, how do you choose to be happy? That's the crux of it. How do you choose to be happy? And the answer is, by embracing what I am telling this morning, that happiness portfolio are the recipe for happiness which comprises of four parts. And that's what I want to discuss now. There are four parts to being happy. There are four parts to the happiness portfolio,
faith, family, community, and yourself. faith, family, community and yourself. Let's start with faith which is the most important up to now brothers wherever I told you the background, setting the foundation for the discussion. This is the most important points. The crux of being happy is your Eman. Your obedience to Allah your opinions to the pursuit of Allah your opinions to the deen of Allah. If you don't remember anything I say this morning except this one statement. I will consider myself successful. And what is the statement? Yeah, this for me what is imbibing in your hearts engraved in your minds and absorbed into every fiber of your body. If Allah is happy with you, you
will be happy. If Allah is happy with you, you will be happy. It is as simple as that. Now modern day research is backed up say that those who believe in a religion are generally more happy than those who don't, because they acknowledge a greater pain. Now today, Western writers are writing that the greatest reason for suicide in the West is that people don't believe in a greater pain whereas Islam came the day altomare Salatu was Salam tend to planet earth, teaching us this eternal lesson. If Allah is happy with you, you will be happy. It is critical for us to remember something as humans, we are a combination of body and soul. We are not body only. That's why when the when the
soul departs the body at the time of death. That very body that has so many functions becomes a course. The eyes are still there, but you can't see the ears are still there. You cannot hear the limbs and the organs
not functioning, the body does not own anything. It's not in the nature of anyone. So, as humans we are made up of both body and soul. But soul is more important because the body will disintegrate in the in the clay, the root of the soul continues with the journey into the after. But the irony is, if we analyze our lifestyle, most of our time and our effort and our money is focused on fulfilling the pleasures and the desires of the body, and by and large, we neglect our soul. And when you neglect your soul, it becomes a major factor in you becoming unhappy. Researchers is still on top this non Muslim doctors talk about soul loss. They say soul loss is when a human becomes
disconnected from their soul. They become disconnected from the soul. And then they say we as doctors, we mislead them, we give them medication, it's a physical illness, but in reality, they have become disconnected from the soul. They need to reconnect with their souls. Otherwise life will become meaningless life will become task driven. What is Islam taught us? Islam has taught us that if you need if you want to be happy, you need to connect your soul with a law.
If you want to be happy, you need to connect your soul with the law. And once you've made that connection, you need to sustain that connection. How do you sustain that connection was Salam which is Food for the Soul will declare which brings contentment to the soul will abstention from sin. Word abstention from sin because sin brings temporary pleasure. It can never bring true happiness. Self will always make a sinner restless. A person whose life is underpinned by sin will never be happy. A person whose life is underpinned by sin, He will never be happy. So that's the first part of the four parts in the portfolio of happiness, the recipe of happiness, faith, our relationship
with Allah our relationship with our Deen brothers. Islam has the recipe for happiness. Islam has the recipe for happiness. I'll just give you a few examples of the concepts in our Deen which are ingredients for happiness. One example. Islam teaches us that we should practice optimism, the famous Hattie Coca Cola and aloha to sell them. I definitely am really looking at how wonderful is the affair of a believer something good happens in a trip or
something bad happens in itself.
It's a win win situation. Imagine if more people in this world align themselves with this with this. How do you align their mindset with this? How do you have more optimistic people? This world needs more optimistic people.
The other day he said, the quality of your life is connected to the quality of your thoughts.
The quality of your life is connected to the quality of your thoughts. There is always reason to be optimistic, the greats are happier to learn in a burst of the alarm on the moment he lost his eyesight. You know what a setback it is for a human to lose your eyesight, perhaps one of the biggest setbacks, physical setbacks, but when he lost his eyesight, he started to pick up lips which translate along the lines, people literally moves the light from my eyes, my tongue and my ears still have light in them. If a law removes the light from my eyes, my tongue in my ears still have light in them. My heart is intelligent, and my mind is to sound
in one faculty, but there are so many other faculties. So that's one example. We are teaching of our genius ingredient for happiness, that we need another example. Our team teaches us to adopt them to develop an attitude of gratitude, develop an attitude of gratitude, we have so much to be grateful for these eyes, which Allah has given us. We won't trade it for a mountain of gold. Yet, we always feel deprived, why that is a lot harder to sell them except us bahaman come in and be silly. If you wake up in the morning and your properties, secure milestones, we just said you have three and
you have your food for the day.
It is as we've always given you the whole world. You have no right to feel deprived. You know, there was a sailor who was lost at sea for 21 days, 21 days, and then miraculously, they rescued him. So when he had come down and once he had recovered, they asked him a question in an interview. He said when you were alone for 21 days in the middle of the sea, and you were fearing death. What was the greatest lesson that you learned? He said the greatest lesson I learned. If you have fresh water and sufficient food, you have no right to complain. If you have fresh
What is sufficient food, you have no right to complain, we complain too much. That's why we are not happy. And other teaching of our team, which is an ingredient for happiness. Our team teaches us how to compare. If you want to compare your life with others, this is how you compare the result. In letters of D look at those who are higher than you. But in letters of dunya, this worldly life
look at those who are lower than you. Otherwise, the boundaries of Allah will start to become insignificant in your eyes, you will never be happy. So if we can stop looking at those who don't have what we don't have, who have more than us, then we will be having another teaching of our D which is an ingredient of happiness. Our Deen teaches us to forgive that no matter how much someone is hurt you, the more you carry that pain and the hurt is like a thorn which is in your shoe as you're walking, it continues to prick you and to aggravate you. Let it go, let it go. Forgive for the pleasure of Allah and you will be happy. One more example are the brothers of how our Deen and
the teachings of our Deen actually provide us with the ingredients for happiness. Our gene teaches us have expectations in Allah alone, have expectations in Allah alone. One of the main reasons that people are happy or happy is that they have expectations in others, especially those who are close to them. We expect people to appreciate to return the favor, to reciprocate to understand that they go to for Allah alone and expect alone for only from Allah and you will be happy to only follow and expect only from Allah and you will be happy to conclude this first point.
What is it important that we understand? Islam did not come to restrict us? Islam did not come to deprive us to burden us to make life miserable to make life boring. No. The teachings of Islam are designed to make us happy. The teachings of our Deen I'm meant to make us happy. Islam does not advocate sadness. There is no teaching in Islam that you must walk around with a permanent phone and you must be constantly grumpy. Islam wants us to be happy. But once again I remind you happiness is a choice. Happiness is a choice, you have to choose to be happy. So we talked about how to be happy the portfolio of happiness. The first part out of four, three, the most important part, the second
part, family, the most neglected part, it is so sad for others. In this age of the rat race, instant gratification, material progress, we have sacrificed our greatest assets, and there is our relationship with our family members. Relationships are a commitment, a commitment that we have neglected. Our homes have become like hotels,
we live under the same roof. We eat around the same table. But we are living separate lives emotionally disconnected from each other. Husband and wife are sitting on the same day
that each of us put his or her phone what setting another person they sitting under the same roof on the same day in the same room, but they are emotionally disconnected. And emotional neglect is what is killing our relationships. And what's the consequence of that. Firstly, it deprives you of the genuine and long lasting happiness which relationships provide. And secondly, it puts a strain on the relationship. Once there is a strain on the relationship automatically Your happiness is compromised. In order for others listen to this very carefully in order to harvest the great happiness that relationships can provide. We need to invest in our family relationships. If we want
to enjoy the dividends of happiness, you're telling you it is more important to invest in your family then it is important to invest for your family. It is more important to invest in your family than it is to invest for your family. How do you invest in your family? Firstly, by giving time everyone is busy. This modern life is so hectic that people say well, I'm so busy. Sometimes I have to delay going to the bathroom to relieve myself. I've got this urgent email and I've got the urgent meeting and another urgent phone call. But listen, the person with the most responsibilities was the surgeon he made time. Nobody has got time but you have to make the time. Again I give you the
reference of a coach so beautifully. They say being in a relationship is a full time job. Being in a relationship is a full time job. Don't apply if you're not ready. Don't apply if you're not ready you have
To be there for your family, that only are you investing in your relationship, you have to be there to listen to what they have to say. You have to be there to interact with them. How often brothers do we have meaningful conversations with those who are close to us meaningful conversations face to face conversations on WhatsApp, how often we neglect our families. You know what experts tell us, they say if you want to be happy, spend five minutes extra with someone you love. spend five minutes extra with someone you love. And if we look at our lives, we are always robbing those whom we love from the fight.
You need to invest in your family by not marrying your job by not marrying your job. This is a very sad part in a very safety of our lives. The number one thing that company is all about the company's not about you, decisions in the company that you work for, or the organization that you serve, will always be made in the best interest of the company and organization, not your best interests. You work there for 30 years, you slow Can you slave, and after 30 years, when a younger, more talented person knocks on the top, they give you three columns. There you will feel dejected. You feel used, you feel betrayed, but it's too late. By then your children would have grown up, they would have
grown up with the money that you learned from their job, but then have very few memories of connecting with you. Your wife will be living in the same house that you bought with the money that you secure from the job. But you and your wife will be emotionally disconnected. Your marriage would have lost the spark. You know, they did a survey where he surveyed men who are in their mid 50s. And they asked him one question, what is your biggest regret in life? All men who are in your 50s What is your biggest regret in life. And you know what the majority of them said, we spent too much time focusing on our career and too little time with our family. But at the age of 55 your children have
their own families, it's too late to reverse the clock, the great irony of our lives. The great irony of our lives, we treat the people we love the most the worst.
The people we love the most we treat them the worst, we reserve our best behavior for outside the house. And then we bring the outside stress into the house, the people in the house we neglect, we don't sufficiently sufficiently invest in them. So to wrap up the second part in the portfolio of happiness, nurture your relationships, brothers, your relationships are vital for your happiness. Once again I remind you, happiness is a choice, happiness is a choice, you have to choose to be happy. So two of the four paths in the happiness portfolio, the happiness recipe we have discussed the most important phase, the most neglected family now we move on to the third one the most
misunderstood community communities the third part in a happiness portfolio, how so you will never be happy unless unless you live your life in a way where you make others happy. You will never be happy unless you live your life in a way where you make others happy. selfish people are the most unhappy people. Again, research has shown these teachings are 1400 years ago and our research has shown that those people who volunteer their services to the community I'm more happier every single day.
The minimum we can do brothers is smile with people. They say when you smile, your facial muscles contract, it sends a rush of blood to the front part of your brain, which then releases dopamine which is a pleasure chemical in your brain. When you smile with people regularly you will be happier men will be sacrificed for you another sort of law 1400 years ago you taught us not
to fish a do not do any good at this insignificant wallow until our key words guiltily even though if you can only meet your brother with a smiley face. Nowadays, researchers are telling us that to spy will make you happy to spread happiness. Our nappy taught it to us 1400 years ago. So the third part in the portfolio of happiness. If you want to be happy, you have to live your life in a way that makes others happy. Again, happiness is a choice, you have to choose to be happy. Let's move on to the fourth part of happiness. And this is the interesting one, the first part in the portfolio of happiness and the recipe of happiness.
The first part, faith emaan the second part, family, the third part community, the fourth part yourself, yourself in our obsession with material progress in our machine life daily routine, we have neglected ourselves in the pursuit of everything else. We have forgotten ourselves. You know a few months ago I read an anecdote, and it hit me so hard to share it regularly since then, they say there was a man who secured a job is over
data and he tried to impress his boss on the first day, he worked hard. He took 50 threes. The boss told him nobody has taught 15 threes in one day and I'm very impressed. The next day he worked hard he managed 30 The day after he worked even harder only next very steady until it came down to three will create embarrassment because before it's possible, I can understand and working harder and harder but the real results are diminishing. This was a true leader. It wasn't just a boss. He asked him a profound question he said, When last did you sharpen your axe? you're chopping and chopping and chopping when lost if you sharpen your axe, brothers, take a break from the rat race. Look after
yourself. If you want to be happy, get adequate rest. It freshens your mind and soul organize your life.
organized and proportion his time I bother family time community time personal time, a person who is more organized is more happy, each healthy. A healthy body results in a healthy mind, it will have sickness, your happiness is compromised he today doctors tell us that exercise is the best antidepressant. If you take only a 10 minute walk is an immediate boost of chemistry in your body which results in happiness, connect with nature. Today, we live in concrete jungles, we are surrounded by technology and machines. It has an effect on our state of mind, we need to take a break from the rat race. We need to break the monotony of modern lifestyle, bring variety into our
lives, bringing new experiences into our lives, you need to take care of yourself. That's the fourth part of the four parts to the happiness portfolio. Again, I emphasize happiness is a choice, you have to choose to be happy. Before I conclude on this. Let's just summarize quickly we have answered four questions. The first question, why is happiness so elusive? Because our approach is wrong. We are looking for happiness in the wrong places. We focus all the time on what we don't have. We live too much in the past and in the future. We don't live in the present. That's the first question that we answered. The second question What is happiness? Happiness is a consistent, mental, emotional,
spiritual state of well being happiness is not out there. It's in here. Happiness is not a destination that you arrive at. It's a manner of traveling. The third question, What does happiness comprise of happiness is a choice. You have to choose to be happy. The fourth question, how can we choose to be happy by embracing the happiness portfolio? The four things that we choose we spoke about faith, family, community and you Faith Family community and you let me leave you with this incident brothers. On the day of faith. Omar bin Abdulaziz referred to lolly sees his son was old etc clothes, he starts crying. He starts crying. So his son asked him about why he cried. He says
when I see when the other children will see you in old clothes on each day. They are going to mock you and he's going to break your heart. Look at the response of this young boy. He said above our hearts shouldn't break because we are very close with each day. Our hearts should pray. If Allah is not happy with us. If our parents are not happy with us, my father, I hope that my Allah will be happy with me. If you are happy with me almost broke down. He embraced the boy he kissed him on his forehead. This young boy understood what was happiness and where to find it. May Allah grant us to such children. Most importantly, may Allah make us such parents. I'll leave you with this quote
brothers. Do not wait to be happy. Do not wait to be happy. Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. I'll conclude with this verse of the Quran. What is the Quranic formula for happiness? Allah says in the first which I recited in my introduction, when having a solid handle indicating
whoever does good deeds, male or female, and you are a believer, Allah says Paul and not
Eva, I will give you a good life, a protected life of your life, a wholesome life, a happy life is simple. The formula for happiness in our game is simple. Be obedient to Allah, you will be happy not only in this world but in the yard as well when you will be addressed with these words. Yeah, yet enough soon enough. Oh contented soul welcome
come to your law in a condition where your allies happy with you and you are happy with your law firm the holy spirit body enter into the company of those servants of Allah with whom he is happy, wonderfully nutty and empty gender with his eternal happiness. true happiness in this world. We all keep us happy now grace and May Allah bless us with us.
ultimate happiness in the after was
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