Channel: Sulaimaan Ravat
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Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh
hamdulillah Al Hamdulillah Milani il Allah, Allah The Hanako for so work, Olivia Katara Heather shadow and hula Allahu la usma will Hausner or shadow Anna Mohammed and I will do humara solo saw Ebola Camila mala Amma bad vow to Billahi min ash shaytani r rajim Bismillah R Rahman r Rahim Alif laam Meem a has been a youth Roku, Roku men for whom law afternoon wirkkala Tyler wasa and Takahashi Oh hero lecom sakalava Nadeem, honorable scholars, respected brothers mothers listeners,
it is impossible to live without failing at something.
It is impossible to live without failing at something unless you live so cautiously that you go nowhere and you fail by default.
Failure is part of being human failure is something that everyone goes through. But if you can understand failure, and if you can learn how to respond to failure, and if you can understand the benefits of failure, yes, the benefits of failure. That's my topic today. So if you can understand failure, you know, learn how to respond to failure, and develop an understanding on the benefits of failure, then you can fail your way to amazing things. Haven't misspoken, you can fail your way to amazing things. There are many of us who are being held back because of a fear of failure.
So let's let that be the first part of our discussion this afternoon. Why do we fear failure, they actually have a medical term for it.
It's called a Tiki phobia.
I'm not joking, a Tiki phobia at yc hai phobia. It's known as the fear of failure. There are many reasons why we fear failure, but central is the ego.
We are afraid to fail because of the hurt that the failure will cause to our egos.
We look to our future. And then we envisage the emotional pain that we will suffer if we fail in what we are trying to do.
Sometimes we have a social standing a social status, and we are worried that people will laugh at us. What will people say? That is what is at the center of the fear of failure. You see the ego. And it's something interesting. They say the ego is a closet pessimist.
It shows a lot of bravado and confidence to the onlookers. But in reality, it's a very scared and downbeat thing at heart. Ego is very fragile. So the ego doesn't want you to try. It doesn't want you to explore because of the fear of failure, the ego will avoid any risk to avoid any chance of being hurt and embarrassed.
Failure presents a major potential threat to our egos. So the ego fears failure. And the ego has a hold on the mind. And that's where our entire being starts to fear failure.
We don't want to be embarrassed. That's the primary reason. So why do we fear failure? Sometimes they are actual consequences, reasonable consequences. Maybe you want to undertake a business venture, you do your means test. You do your pros and cons and you realize No, a they could be a genuine problem. Yeah, that's fine. That's where you are doing proper sober, calculations, assessments and you come to a conclusion. But most of the time, the fear of failure is not related to that. Most of the time. The fear of failure is short sighted. It's not based on our experience or our knowledge. It's based on the fear that we won't get it right the first time.
Many of us we fear failure because we fear we'll get it wrong the first time. And what we fail to realize
hardly anyone in the history of humanity has achieved by getting it right the first time.
They had to try try and try again before they eventually got it right. It is for that reason that the experts tell us that the fear of failure is the number one block to success.
says most of the time, to such an extent that it has become a societal norm.
it's acceptable now, to just fear failure. I want to share with you a quote, which I found to be very profound Listen to this. They say, Don't fear, failure, don't fear failure, fear being in the exact same position one year later.
Don't worry, as much about failure as you should worry about being in the same position one year later, not making any progress, because you are handicapped by the fear of failure.
The only way that we can overcome our fear of failure is by developing a comprehensive understanding of what is failure. So that would bring us to the question about the definition of failure right? Now, you'll read all sorts of definitions, but after reading, many of them, I'll give it to you in a nutshell. Technically, failure is when you have been unsuccessful at something. But this is where the beauties
This is where the beauties if success is the opposite to failure, then you have if you have failed the first time, you haven't truly failed until you give up.
Because if you get it, right, the second or the third or the 100th, time, you succeeded. So if the definition of failure is being unsuccessful, it means that you never really failed until you have given up. Some have given an alternative definition. They say success is the state of living according to your values. And failure is when you live in contradiction to your values. So as Muslims, we have a set of values, you put in a tender, you stuck by your values, no son who says on the side,
no greasing of the palms, you didn't get it. by somebody else's definition, you didn't get the tender, you fail by your definition, you stuck by your values you succeeded.
Another definition of failure is one that I like they say failure is part of a process. Failure is the first part on the road to success. So if you look at it, there's no such thing as absolute failure.
I recently read something which I found to be very interesting, one lady was divorced, said, I refuse to refer to my marriage that didn't last as a failed marriage. I refuse to refer to my marriage that didn't last as a failed marriage. Because that marriage by design was meant to teach me certain things, which will help me to succeed in the overall life story.
So I refuse to see it as a failed marriage. Let me ask you a question that will help you unpack your understanding of failure.
They say, you must ask yourself the following question. Ask yourself the following question.
What would you do differently in your life, if you knew for sure that you wouldn't fail?
If you were to analyze your life, that 30 4050 years, you know, whatever your age is, and say, What would I have done? If I knew for certain I wouldn't fail? And if there are multiple answers, that I would have done a lot of things, if I knew for sure, I wouldn't fail, that it means that you are suffering from a fear of failure. There are many things that you shouldn't have done, you should have done. But what held you back was your fear of failure. Many times in life, if we study our lives, we put up something that will really improve our lives. without really any concrete or substantive or solid basis for it, we just putting it off, even though we know it's going to benefit
our lives, we're putting it off because of the fear of failure.
The fear of failure, like many other fears, is a self created one.
It's because of our perceptions very rarely are those fears are real, very often they are perceived fears. I share with you another quote, they say
everything you want is on the other side of fear.
Everything you want is on the other side of fear. You just need to overcome your fear of failure to be able to achieve it.
One important element in understanding failure is to know the difference between rational fi irrational fear of failure and irrational fear of failure. Rational fear of failure is something real, something that can actually happen. So if you don't know how to swim,
and you have a fear of jumping off a ship in the middle of the ocean, that's a real fear.
You're going to drown.
There is something that is very likely to happen. And that's a good kind of fear. because it keeps you it keeps you in check. It helps you not to do foolish things. How
irrational fear is a fear of something which is very unlikely to happen, or a fear of something that is likely to happen. But your fear is exaggerated, or disproportionate. So there is a possibility if you want to do something, you'll get it wrong and you'll be embarrassed. But that fear of embarrassment is exaggerated and disproportionate. So that's an irrational fear of failure.
The crux of it of is this, listen to this point very attentively.
When there is a reasonable prospect of success. When there is a reasonable prospect of success, and your fear of failure eclipses your motivation to succeed, then it's a problem.
When you want to do something, and there is a reasonable prospect of success, but your fear of failure overpowers your motivation to do it, then you have a problem. Otherwise, each one of us will have some degree of fear, some degree of anxiety, that's normal. That's the kind of energy that you need to tap into. But what you need to be careful about is to ensure that your fear of failure does not overwhelm your motivation to do the action, your motivation to succeed.
on a on a lighter note, let me share something with you.
if Plan A doesn't work, if Plan A doesn't work, there are still 25 letters in the alphabet.
And then if you speak Japanese, there are 204 letters in the alphabet.
Let's talk about the benefits of failure.
Now we come to the to the core of what I want to discuss. You may be thinking what is this man going on about even when the topic went out, people are asking benefits of failure. It sounds like an oxymoron. Like a contradiction in terms No,
psychologically and islamically, I will outline to you in the brief time that I have left, how they are benefits to failure. First, I can list all of them and missed some of the primary ones. failure and defeat is the greatest teacher in life.
failure and defeat is the greatest teacher in life. Many people like to play it safe, fly under the radar, they repeat the same safe choices over and over again, they don't realize the true potential. They don't discover a lot of what was reasonably possible for them to discover how else will you learn if you don't try and if you don't fail, every now and again, if you don't stumble, you know, that's part of life, it teaches you failure as a teacher. The second benefit of failure is that it helps you to reach your potential. you embrace possible failure and make it a key to taking on a variety of challenges, which will enable you to reach new heights. Embracing failure is a necessary
step to unprecedent unprecedented success. You want to reach greater heights new levels, you have to embrace the possibility of failure. Another benefit of failure is that it teaches us creativity. Many of us would have heard about Thomas Edison, he created the light bulb, he failed 1000 times before he discovered the right material to make a light bulb.
So if he succumbed to the fear of failure on the first time,
I don't know if he would have had electricity to do you'd have red lights
1000 times he failed before he found the right material. So never underestimate the magical properties of failure. It rewires your brain and it gets your creative juices flowing. So it teaches creativity.
Another benefit of failure is it redirects you in life, sometimes we lose our way a little bit. So failure shows you where you shouldn't be. Failure gives you an opportunity to reevaluate to come back stronger with a better strategy.
Failure teaches you to learn from your mistakes and to change your tactics. This is a key point. When you embrace failure doesn't mean you do the same thing over and over again. That's the definition of stupidity. stupidity is when you do the same thing over and over again expecting different results. It teaches you to try and discover where you are going wrong, what you are doing wrong. Change attack stick tactics try differently to achieve the same outcome.
Another benefit of failure and this is perhaps one of the most important ones. It keeps you hungry and humble.
Failure keeps you hungry and humble.
One of the greatest threats to success is complacency. And if you don't take failure every now and then you become complacent. You rely on your past success. But past success does not translate necessarily into future glory. Failure has a way of motivating us keeping us hungry keeping us humble. It gives you a perspective on success. When you taste failure. Then when Allah grants you success, you will be grateful. You will be humbled
You will be empathetic at the time of success. Otherwise you'll become arrogant. You'll become overconfident. Failure strips you of your notion of invincibility makes you realize that you human, that you dependent on Allah, you won't get it right every time. Another benefit of failure is that it's the most valuable T, it makes you a valuable teach and mentor. How will you teach your children or your subordinates if you haven't failed at some point or the other, because and listen to this, they say, you will learn more in a single failure than a lifetime of success. You will learn more in a single failure than in a lifetime of success. Lastly, I mentioned in terms of the benefits of
failure, if it makes you tough,
it creates resilience. The experts say if you fail, feast on your failure.
Some of them I'm not saying must bring in some of them. So you must actually have a feast
to celebrate that Allah has given you an opportunity to learn. But even if you don't have a physical feast, because people will think you're about to screw short. You failed and you're celebrating, celebrate the opportunity faced on your failure by making the most of the moment to learn so that you don't repeat the mistakes. That's the meaning of feasting on a failure. Let me quickly give you some examples of people who have failed only too late to achieve great success.
How many of you got iPhone?
Pick up your hands. Okay, now I'm not gonna embarrass you, you know.
Steve Jobs was fired from Apple.
Later on, he came back he became the CEO of Apple and then they created the iPhone and the MacBook. He said he would never have been successful in his second tenure as CEO of Apple. If he wasn't fired in his first period as an employee of apple.
He failed in order to achieve Einstein. He did not speak until he was four years old. He did not write until he was seven years old. His teacher described him as mentally slow.
Henry Ford, many driving Fords. He went broke five times five times on grot. Before he eventually succeeded, Churchill,
he failed the sixth grade.
It failed the sixth grade. So what's the lesson? Somebody so beautifully said Don't say I failed 99 times. Don't say I failed 99 times say I have discovered 99 ways that credit failure
Don't say I have failed 99 times say I have learned 99 ways that will cause me to fail.
Let me give you in the end we are all Muslims, right.
What is the Quran and Sunnah say about failure.
There's a hadith mineral karoui hiren Wahab Boyle Allah him in a minute life
of equal inhale, hurry Salah. My info was time below will attaches. In short, that's how he tells us make an effort. Be strong, not only physically but mentally and emotionally. Be courageous. Don't be overwhelmed by the fear of failure. But seek assistance from Allah and don't become helpless. The fear of failure will make you helpless. But you see this is the beauty of being Muslim. The Hadith tells you be courageous, right? Go out there and try your best. But in the end, the khadim What a beautiful belief. What is the deal? Don't become despondent of your failures. Don't become arrogant of your success attribute both to Allah.
You rely on Allah, you go out to give it your best shot. If something goes wrong. The Hadith says don't say low. If I did this, if I that did that say that Allah wa Masha Allah. Allah knows best Allah decreed. Allah knows why he made me fail.
Before you do it, you rely on Allah. After you do it. You reaffirm your belief in Allah, that sometimes the outcome will not always be according to my expectations, according to my intentions, according to my logic, because when you go down the route of saying I should have I could have then you opening the door to blame to panic to regret and grief you do to the best of your ability, then the outcome is in the hands of Allah that's we as Muslims believe in.
The theater is not meant to be make you passive. It means it means it's meant to make you active. Back to keep that balance. You don't control everything. Why sir and Takahashi and Lacan, sometimes you will not like the outcome, but the outcome is best for you. In the long run, the world will see that outcome is a failure, but failure is a sign of one who's making an effort. Otherwise you won't fail or you won't succeed. If you don't make an effort, you won't fail you won't succeed.
So as Muslims,
who Maharajah we have Allah, you don't be reckless, you do your due diligence after that you have reliance on Allah. Another important Islamic angle to this concept of the benefits of failure is that many times according to material or worldly norms where if you would have failed, but in the court of Allah, you didn't fail how sometimes Allah makes you fail in this dunya because he wants you to turn and come back to him and become a better servant of ease.
Sometimes you losing the way and then you wanted that promotion, Allah didn't give any give it to you. You see, there's a failure. But Allah says, sometimes we deprive you in order to strengthen you to prepare you for something bigger and greater. Sometimes we deprive you we give you material failure, because that material success would have taken you further away from Allah, and you would have been a failure in that era. So if you fail in this world, but it was designed by Allah to make you succeed in the accuracy, it can never be a failure.
Another thing, look at the story of Adam and Eve police. They both failed to follow the commands of Allah.
But other Mali Salaam said vellum and fusina Allah we have wronged ourselves. A please blame the law for Bheema avoid any because of his failure, Adam alayhis salam was elevated and because of his failure, he believes was denigrated.
Failure is not a failure in itself. It depends on how you respond to it. Many times failure is a test the verse which I decided in my introduction, Allah says, A has been nurse to a youth Rocco a polo Amen. Now homelife the known Do you think that just because you Muslim, we won't test you? What happened on those Sahaba failed to stay on the hill. And as a result, the Muslims fail to defeat the economic 70 martyred, what is mutilated, when they going back? Allah says Allah you know, Allah has no not time to grieve, to your soul yourself a sob party, a pity party, or entomol. Alona in can mean you will achieve if you become the true servants of Allah Baraka with Allah will kill a
Yamanaka will have been a nurse and let's say his life is such you win some you lose some. But what you lose should be a stepping stone for you to win ultimately at life in this world, as well as in the aftermath. So let's quickly recap. We discussed you can truly live without failing. Why do we feel failure? The ego doesn't want to be embarrassed, it doesn't want to be hurt. We want to be fearful of failing the first time. What is failure? failure is just success that is postponed. The only time you truly fail is if you give up. Many of our fears are self created. They're not real. What are the benefits of failure? It teaches you it humbles you. It develops resilience it generates
creativity it helps you to reach your potential. It makes you a good teacher and a good mentor Steve Jobs failed Henry Ford failed even Einstein failed before they succeeded. The Quran and Sunnah tells us Allah will make you taste defeat sometimes as a test sometimes to bring you closer to you sometimes because Allah wants to show you that you may think it's a failure, but it's a stepping stone to something much greater. how you respond to failure will determine whether you succeed or not. We've seen the story of a police and other money stolen. Let me conclude with these few thoughts. The purpose of this talk is not to make you reckless not to create a false sense of
bravado that could do whatever you want and don't fear consequences. No. Muslims are balanced Amato wasa The purpose of this talk is that don't let the fear of failure hold you back when there's a reasonable chance of success. Don't let it hold you back from growing and reaching new heights and fulfilling your potential because failure as they say should be a stepping stone to success. No failure is fatal. No matter how hard it may be in the short term, because you always get another shot to try again, no failure is permanent. Because the real failure is when you don't make the most of the situation you don't learn the most. They say when they throw lemonade, when they throw lemons
make lemonade. There is no crisis in the corporate world. They say no crisis should go wasted. Every crisis provides an opportunity. The greatest failure is when you don't use the opportunity to become the best version of yourself. We all fail from time to time. But truly successful people are the ones that are not afraid to fall, get back very fast and try again. Through the successful people are the ones who don't fear falling. They say if I fall I'll get back quicker than others. And I will try again. share with you one more coat. They say success is going from one failure to the next with no loss of enthusiasm.
Success is going from one failure to the next with no loss of enthusiasm. There are some profound words with which I want to terminate. Listen very carefully to this. Failure should be our teacher, not our Undertaker.
Failure should be our teacher, not our Undertaker. Failure is delay, not defeat.
Failure is a temporary detour, not a dead end. Failure is something we can avoid only by saying nothing doing nothing and being nothing.
In Arabic They say, root by letting a Maldon can at Subbable say. Sometimes illness is the cause of cure. Sometimes failure is the cause of success. You need to have a heart attack to catch a wake up to look after your overall health. If you didn't have that heart attack, maybe you would have continued to be complacent. So life is like that sometimes. Sometimes you have to fail your way to success. You have to fail your way to success. May Allah grant us the understanding or sell along with selling robotic Allah Nabina Muhammad Welcome to Darwin and 100