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Happy Muslim Family
Channel: Sajid Ahmed Umar
File Size: 25.23MB
Episode Transcript ©
Transcripts are auto-generated and thus will be be inaccurate and at times crude. We are considering building a system to allow volunteers to edit transcripts in a controlled system. No part of this transcript may be copied or referenced or transmitted in any way whatsoever.
Bismillah R Rahman r Rahim hamdu Lillahi Rabbil alameen wa VENA studying Allah or doing a lot of volume in salat wa salam ala nabina Muhammad Ali Abdullah Saleh Allahu alayhi wa sallam of praise belongs to Allah subhanho wa Taala. We praise Him and we seek his assistance and we seek His guidance and we seek refuge in Allah, from the evil of ourselves, and the adverse consequences of our deeds. We testify the room serve Allah guides, none Canvas guide, and whomsoever He must guides, the nun can guide and peace and salutations be upon the final messenger, Muhammad Ali Abdullah Saleh Allahu alayhi wa sallam, I bear witness that there is no one worthy of worship besides one Allah,
and that Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam is His Messenger. Brothers and sisters in Islam. From the outset, I greet you with the greetings of Islam Salaam, Allah He alikum warahmatu over a cat.
I think uncle Adam didn't do such a good job teaching you guys how to respond to the Salah. Just so you know, when the Salaam is given
you get 10 rewards for saying a Sarah Molly and 20 for saying a Sarang aleikum wa rahmatullah and 30 for saying Assalamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakaatuh.
And also, if someone greets you, it's compulsory for you to respond. I'm not sure if that lesson has reached Bracknell to give the solemn escena but to respond to it is compulsory is wider. So once again, let's
participate in the greetings of Islam. Assalamu alaykum warahmatullahi wabarakatu
barakallahu li calm. It's a great pleasure to be here with you all this evening. As
half of Eman Ibrahim mentioned, the idea of coming here has been something discussed a long while before.
And it required the father of Allah subhanho wa Taala. No doubt, for it to become a reality. For one reason or the other in previous trips. scheduling a visit to Brattleboro was impossible. So being here today makes it all the more special. And seeing you all here, in this community, with your children, in a event run by family events, in an evening dedicated towards the topic of the happy Muslim family. All this collectively makes my attendance and the attendance of the family events team. All the more special. I ask Allah subhanho wa Taala from the outset, to make us a people that he is a good word and follows it. I mean, and ask Allah subhanho wa Taala Allah to make us a people
forgiven upon our departure. I mean, your
brothers and sisters in Islam, Allah subhanho wa Taala in the Quran,
which is the best revelation. He referred to the oma of Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam as the best nation.
So in the best revelation, the home of Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam has been referenced as the best nation. But we know brothers and sisters in Islam.
A nation is nothing but a collection of communities. And the community is nothing but a collection of families. So when Allah subhanho wa Taala, in the best Revelation describes the home of Muhammad Sallallahu, alayhi wasallam as the best nation, then this is reference to the Muslim family, being the from the best families on Earth. Or when we look at families, then the best of families has to be the Muslim family. And that is why it is imperative that whenever we reference a Muslim family, that family is referenced as a happy Muslim family, because the honor of Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wasallam will always be part of the solution, and should never ever be part of the problem. And if
that nation is made up of families, then the Muslim family should always be part of the solution and never be part of the problem. And this is why I highlight that whenever we reference the Muslim family, we never ever remove or dis associate that reference from the term happy. It's not strange, that Allah subhanho wa Taala describes the Muslim nation
The Muslim family as the best of all nations and the best of all families, for Allah subhanho wa Taala has made the Muslim family aside from the signs of Allah subhanho wa Taala on earth, and not just a sign of his existence, but a sign of him being the only one worthy of worship. Many a time of marriage takes place, or boys looking for a potential spouse, or a girl is looking for a higher potential spouse. Never ever do. The Elders of society highlight to them, that they actually looking for a spouse to engage in a process that will make them a sign from the signs of Allah subhanho wa Taala existence for us and assign that he's the only one worthy of worship. My evidence for the
Muslim family being assigned from the signs of Allah on earth is an ayah in Surah, to room in which Allah subhanho wa Taala says, amin
II, and holla
letus kulu li hua
Allah says, from the signs of Allah on earth, is that he created for every male, his pet, his spouse, Allah made for every male, his pair and spouse, a pair and a spouse, that he may retrieve serenity and tranquility from a pair and a spouse that he can create a home with. This is what Allah subhanho wa Taala mentions. And then he says, in a physiological area, indeed, in the marriage is a sign for those who contemplate for those who ponder is a sign of what is a sign of Allah's existence is a sign of what is a sign of Allah being the only one worthy of worship? As someone might say, it's clear that the marriage can be a sign of Allah's existence. But how is it a sign of him being
the only one worthy of worship? When in another Ayah? Allah says woman cliche in Harlequin, so Jane Lana, come to the Quran. Allah says, we've created everything in pairs. So you can remember
and know, remember and know what that Allah is one. How can everything being created in pairs teach us that Allah is one, we know that everything has its opposite. The male has a female, the female has a male, tall, has its opposite, which is short and short, has its opposite, which is tall, cold, has its opposite, which is hot, and hot, has its opposite, which is cold. And like this, you can apply the paradigm to a whole range of phenomenons and realities and you will find that each phenomenon has its pair. Allah says we've created everything in pairs. So you can no no what that Allah is one how you Allah, because you cannot have to accept that it comes from one that every two
that you have, you know exists because of one one Allah subhanho wa Taala one creator, one Lord, one nourisher one sustainer Allah azza wa jal, Allah, Allah,
Allah had a summit and led me led me led me akula Haku. And so coming back to the initial point, brothers and sisters in Islam, Allah describes, in some way, the Muslim family as the best family. And it's not strange because the Muslim family is a sign of Allah's existence and assign that Allah subhanho wa Taala is the only one worthy of worship in this ayah in Surah, two room, Allah says, or Jain, Albania kumada Tawana that Allah placed between this husband and wife, two elements, important elements, love and mercy and the scholars of the sea. They explain love as the human element that grows within a marriage. And I highlight it as something that grows within a marriage because love
is something substantial is not something shallow and that's why I always mentioned to the youth whenever they request glass that they marry somebody says yes please make dua you know, I marry this girl with the girl say chef, you know make do I marry this boy? I say no, I'll make dua that Allah makes you marry him or her if it's good for you to share. Please mentioned the name. He said Why? Why mentioned the name. It cannot be that you cannot live without this person Lucius I love her or she has I love him.
How can you love him or her? But I do? say Okay, tell me what you know about them.
And they know very little, how can you love something you don't know.
You can't love something you don't know. Love is something substantial. Even with Allah subhanho wa Taala, Allah revealed as the first revelation ikura, which is to read and learn. And then the first thing he told us to learn about is who Allah for Allah said for lm Edna who La ilaha illa Allah, learn and know that there's no one worthy of worship besides one Allah, why learn about Allah, because the more you learn about Allah, the more you learn what Allah has done for you, and the more you understand what he's done for you, the more you love that Allah and when you love that Allah, you want to worship that Allah, you want to obey that Allah. And that's why we have the levels of
Islam and Eman and a sense that as you grow your relationship with Allah, your love for your Lord grows, and when your love for your lead Lord grows, your desire to worship him increases and grows as well. So Allah places the important element of love between the husband and the wife. And I highlight it as the human element that grows doesn't exist from the beginning. It grows within the marriage. Because as the marriage develops, the husband learns new amazing things about his wife. And as the marriage develops, the wife learns new amazing things about her husband, and with this knowledge, does love begin to sprout. And with that sprouting, do we find a palatable relationship,
which exists between them, and this internal desire for them to take care of each other's rights in the least. And as the love grows, they live with each other upon the realm of responsibility. And that's, that's where love is, when a husband and wife can live together upon the paradigm of responsibility. It's not a case where each and every one is only asking about their rights, but it's my right and the husband says, Where is my right now it's a case whereby, even though it's your right or not, your right, it will be done because that's the responsible thing to do. Right? This is when there's love. So a lot of places love between the spouses, and it grows with the marriage, and
then a lot of places Miss.
And the scholars have seen from the explanations of mercy is that mercy refers to the children, for the children are a mercy, and the child comes as a result of the marriage. And I'll explain a little bit more why the child is considered and referred to as a messy, but before that brothers and sisters in Islam, consider this, that between the husband and wife there is this phenomenon of love and mercy that governs them being together. And with this collectively, they celebrate the existence of Allah, they celebrate the fact that Allah subhanho wa Taala is the only one worthy of worship. They are a celebration, a physical testimony of La ilaha illAllah Lam Abu Dhabi, hockin illa Allah
there is no one worthy of worship besides one Allah. This is what Allah subhanho wa Taala has taught us from the outset of the Muslim family. Now on a lighter note, some someone said that Jared avena, kumada Tawana, we placed between the husband and wife love and mercy, love during the honeymoon period, when the marriage is new, and everybody wants to do everything irrespective and mercy when the love dries up. The love dries up, they still remain together, tolerating each other, being merciful to each other. Allah subhanho wa Taala knows best, no doubt, the marriage upon responsibility entails great tolerance. But coming back to the point that Allah subhanho wa Taala
highlights the children as a form of mercy that Allah blesses this marriage with.
With the children, many of us realize the term family.
But the reality is brothers and sisters in Islam, the family comes before the children arrived.
For from an Islamic perspective, a family is a family after the kneecap is complete, it's the spouse, the female spouse, it's the woman, the wife
that makes a man complete and creates a family situation for him. To the extent that in the Arabic language, which is a language of great character, the Arabs when they ask someone about his wife, they never ever say Kay for soldier to come. linguistically they can say that, but this lacks adverb and lacks character. They never say How is your wife? They will say Kay for a look. How is your family, even if they newlyweds and it's well known that
They have no children. When they ask someone about his better half, they will refer to her as his family. This is the adverb and character of the Arabic language. And it recognizes a reality that Allah subhanho wa Taala has set for us in the Quran and in the Sunnah, that it is really the wife that creates a family situation for her spouse, even before the children arrive, for because of her, his house becomes a home and because of her, he now has the Hillel means to gain mercy into his life in the form of the children. The children, brothers and sisters in Islam are a mess you no doubt. And Allah subhanho wa Taala highlights for us exactly why they are a mess. Allah subhanho wa Taala
says, When levena Amman with Tibet react to whom be email and how can I be him to return Homer and Athena whom when I met him in a columbarium de Mikasa Rahim. Allah says, As for the people of Eman and belief,
if they live upon Eman and belief, and inspire the children to live upon imagine belief and die upon imagine and belief. Allah says in the Hereafter, Allah will gather that family together in gender.
Why will he gather them together in gender, because a home upon belief and attachment to the sinner is a home that builds gender on Earth, a family that collectively adheres to the son of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam is a family that builds gender on Earth. The promise of Allah is that if we live in our happy families, true to the reality of a Muslim family, as taught to us in the Quran, and the Sunnah, you and your children will become gender builders on Earth. As a gift for you and your children being agenda builder on Earth, Allah will gather you and your children in a better agenda than the agenda you tried to build whilst you honor. So Pamela, this is a message from the
message of Allah. Now, what does this mean? This means that if the people have entered into gender, and the parents are at a lower level, and the children are at a higher level of gender, allow will raise the parents to the rank of the children. So they can be united as a family in the highest gender, as they lived their lives collectively trying to build gender on earth. And vice versa. If the parents are at a higher position in gender, and the children are at a lower position in Jannah, Allah subhanho wa Taala will raise the children to the level of the parents so that they can be united in gender together, as they will united building gender on earth together, so Han Allah, this
is from Allah upon the Muslim family, and no doubt, when you are united with your family in the highest gender, you indeed will be a happy Muslim family. This is the reality of our tour. We've been moving around only speaking from the Quran and the Sunnah. No riffraff no intellectual thoughts, everything left behind in the inheritance of Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wasallam, about a reality from the realities of the Muslim family, and what is really, and truly a happy Muslim family, a reality that many of us perhaps know. But we forget to realize, or we have,
we just don't realize in the first place for one reason or the other. No doubt the 21st century setting. The hustle and bustle of living as a Muslim minority in the UK sometimes causes these realities to go over your head because you're so busy with the micromanagement of the family matters, making sure the bills are paid. The school fees are taken care of making sure the heating is paid for making sure the out you know the children have clothing, and so on and so forth. we're so busy with the micromanagement of the family that we forget the macro values that the Muslim family enjoys, or should be enjoying. And as a result, perhaps we fail to put the necessary checks
and balances the necessary paradigms, the necessary processes in the management of the family that keeps us as that family that collectively builds gender on Earth, aiming to be a family united in general in the hereafter. Brothers and sisters in Islam, one law he will be law he was a law he, I swear by Allah, there's no one. No one on earth who is more sincere than you as a parent to meet your child on the day of pm as a believer. There is no one who will care more
Then you, for your child to pass away as a believer and not just a believer, but a believer upon the Sunnah. I can tell you now, that is every parent's dream, when they on their deathbed, passing away, knowing that very soon, they will say goodbye to their progeny. Those who they raised, a mother will look at those who were in her belly were part and parcel of her for so many months. There's no doubt that on the deathbed, they look at their family wanting and longing to meet them very soon, they have this wish that I hope we are united soon way on the day of karma, but that union and unity cannot happen unless those children pass away as believers as well. And that is my brothers and
sisters in Islam. Whenever we talk about these matters, it's important that we move into important action points that we need to take away. A lecture is not a lecture for the sake of being a lecture, it has to be transformative in its value, we realize that all these realities exist with the Muslim family. And indeed, I want to meet my child by the Hadith of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam as a believer, so we can drink together, maybe we can be united underneath the Arusha philosophy Anahata, Allah taala, together, maybe we have no doubt, we want to be gathered in the highest genda together, then we need to understand that we need to do that which is necessary on Earth, before we
depart this as to ensure that the vision is understood by the entire family. And the strategies are in place by the entire family. And every member of that family has a clear understanding of the world they seek to create, and the hereafter that they wish to see, the husband has to be on the same page, the mother has to be on the same page, the children have to be on the same page. And one of the action points that I'm sharing with the different communities that we are visiting in the UK, is the importance of using the festive period where people who are not from the family of Islam are doing all sorts of sorts that really don't benefit them in this life or the next, the fact that we
are all on holidays, we should use these moments for reflection. These are reflective moments, while others are busy with festivities. We need to be busy with reflection, the husband and the wife need to switch off their mobile phones to keep the door locked, need to get someone one of the family members to look after the kids. And a great meeting needs to take place between the husband and wife whereby collectively they ask each other and they answer for each other important questions such as? Are we a husband and wife for the sake of Allah? Are we parents for the sake of Allah? Are we signs from the signs of Allah on earth? Do we live that reality? are we celebrating in our marriage? the
testimony of faith La ilaha illAllah are the first portion of the testimony of faith? If not, what can we do to do something? And let us recognize why we're not doing so? What can we put into place to ensure that we can lift ourselves off the situation before the next moment for reflection arrives? These are important conversations that should happen. Because brothers and sisters in Islam, this life is not a dream. It's a reality. And we better not live this life as if we dreaming. And then when we die, we suddenly wake up rather than live in the reality. And when you pass away get given glad tidings of Jenna. So you can sleep in your grave dreaming about the gender? Right? So
this is not a dream. We need to have the real discussions with each other. Just like the parents get together to discuss the School Matters. Which school are we going to put them in? Which job are we going to take all the dounia we work the matters, we take it seriously. We sit together we make sure that you know the wife is present, the husband is present. We need to have this meeting we make time for it. We got to do what we have to do right? What are we doing with regards to us looking after La ilaha illa Allah in our marriage, that we are signs from the signs of Allah being the only one worthy of worship? And then ask yourself the next question. And the next question is, are we
celebrating Muhammad Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam which is the second part of the Shahada. How do you celebrate Muhammad Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam by being a couple for the sake of Allah upon the student of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam for if you are a husband for Allah sake, and a wife for Allah sake, and a mother for Allah sake, and a father for Allah sake, then you better live for Allah how Allah wants you to live, and you will only know how Allah wants you to live from where from the life of the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam for Allah described him as our best example. Look at the Candela config Rasulullah he was in your messenger is
the best example in your messenger is the example of how Allah wants you to be on earth in your message.
Ginger is the example of the Father that Allah wants you to be in the messenger is the example of the mother that Allah wants you to be in the messenger is the example of the son that Allah wants you to be in the messenger is the example of the mother, that of the daughter that Allah wants you to be. This is the next discussion that the husband and wife needs to have an important discussion. One thing that helps is for both the husband and wife to write down
what they would like to see the day they die. This is something I've met different people, different families, different age groups. And this is a process that I put into place to assist. transformative
processes after advice is shared, because we must know something and then grow from knowing some people say she has, you know, you spoke all this while la hamdulillah. And we really want to, but we don't know where to start. Well, you start with the meeting, then they say, Well, what should we do in the meeting? Well, one of the things you must do in the meeting is take time out, let the husband contemplate when he is on his deathbed. When he looks at his wife, what does he want to see? That will please his heart? When he looks at his children? What does he want to see that will please his heart, let him write it down. The wife must do the same. She must think when I'm on my deathbed
about to breathe my last. When I look at my husband, what do I want to see? When I look at my children? What do I want to see? And I want you to add an extra question. Because Muslim families, makeup communities and communities make up nations and Allah described the Muslim nation as the best nation at this question. When I look at my community, what do I want to see? When I look at my community? What do I want to see, write all this down, hand your paper to your husband, and you take his paper, right? The spouses must exchange the papers and they should read it sincerely. Not jokingly, sincerely, because this is a serious writing. Think of it as your will. It's a form of
wills that you've put down. So the husband understands the world the wife seeks to create, and the wife understands the world the husband seeks to create. And this assists in the relationship moving forward, the decision making moving forward, the husband and the wife find themselves upon the same page. Now some people
will lie. from experience, some people have gotten back to me and they say, we tried the process. But we really didn't know what we want to see the day we die. We didn't know what we wanted to see.
So what should we do? One thing that I found, which helps is, if you can't write what you want to see, write down what you don't want to see. Because in my experience working with people, I found out that a lot of the times they don't know what they want, but they know what they don't want. So start with what you don't want to see. It happens, right? You're going out for a meal, which restaurant? Should we go to? Anything? I don't know, I don't know what we I want to go, whatever. Then someone says Chinese you say no, no, no, I don't want to go for Chinese, too. But you said whatever. So yeah, I don't know what I want. But I know what I don't want, right? A lot of us know
what we don't want. So maybe stop there. If you have difficulty writing down what you want. Start with what you don't want, then that will paint a clear path for you to understand, or have an understanding of that which you possibly want. And then work that way forward. When you then the husband and wife meeting is over. Bring your children into the fold. sit down with them. Explain to them this vision that you have explained to them your desire to be with them in general, explain to them the reality of Muslims living as Muslim minorities in the UK and explain to them certain strategies and process that you want them that you want to implement, and that you need their help
with and also get from them their ideas because the Muslim family is considered functioning when there's a two tier
flow between between the members of the family is not a case whereby the T of the parents are only giving demands, and the T of the children are only receiving demands, let the children understand what their worldview both seek to create as parents, and then tell them to speak their minds. At least you can assess their level of maturity, you can assess their level of understanding in terms of where they came from, and where they going, and how they need to get there successfully. And you might find that they come with amazing ideas, implement those ideas, let them feel part of the bigger picture of the family. This is the description of a family that builds gender on Earth,
seeking to be united in a better gender than the gender that they built in the hereafter. This is the process brothers and sisters in Islam. Now you might say well, why are you making life sound hard? You're making family life sound hard? Well, in answer to your question brothers and sisters in Islam
This is life
This is the agenda.
You live in life after all. easiness is only in gentlemen. In this world, we have moments of ease and moments of necessity and over moments of difficult. If you think that you engender you in the wrong place, I have news for you. If you think you don't have to do this, because it should be a given you in the wrong place, will love your brothers and sisters in Islam. For those who follow my data, and my teaching since 2005, or 2006. Everything that I do, every decision I make, including the decision to be here with you all, including the decision to be a part of family events, including the decision to latch on to this topic and discuss this topic is based on a vision which I
have. And that is a vision of ignited communities that benefit humanity, communities ignited to be part of the solution. Because after Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, there is no prophet that came, and there's no prophet to come, the legacy of prophethood was not to be transferred from the shoulders of one man to the shoulders of another man, rather, the legacy of prophethood was to be transferred from the shoulders of one man, to the collective shoulders of Muslim families. Understand this brothers and sisters in Islam, if we don't do our bit, in raising our families, as we should, celebrating La ilaha illAllah, celebrating Muhammad Rasulullah we will not be that happy
Muslim families, irrespective of how much financial standing and material well being the family has, irrespective of the spacious home that the family has, irrespective of the great results that the children have and the qualifications they've achieved. Irrespective of all of this, the true paradigm, the only paradigm is the Islamic paradigm. And the question every family member needs to ask himself or herself. does Allah consider this family a happy Muslim family? And that is what counts brothers and sisters in Islam. There is the answer, which counts brothers and sisters in Islam ignited communities that benefit humanity, humanity, we collectively carry the legacy of
Mohammed, Abdullah sallallahu, alayhi wasallam, if one of us, or a family from amongst us chooses not to be part of carrying this legacy, we are only making the weight of the legacy heavier upon those families that choose to that's what we're doing brothers and sisters in Islam. When I traveled to places people complain about the Imams about the olema, about the duet, they look at all the voice going around, look at the drugs, look at you know, the curriculum changes in school, look at the intermediate intermingling between the sexes, and so on and so forth. All this gender agenda issues, and what are the moms doing? Our children are suffering, who's gonna take care of them? And
I say, you know what, to our parents in society? Take a deep breath. Take a deep breath. Yes, the moms have a role. Yes, they carry the legacy of Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wasallam. With us parents carry that legacy as well. When you point a finger, there's three fingers pointing back at you.
The question you should be asking is what have you done to raise a mortal husband who won't abuse his wife tomorrow? So your child doesn't become a burden to society and the moms tomorrow? What have you done to raise a daughter who will be a model mother and wife so that the marriage she gets involved in doesn't become a burden for the moms and dads tomorrow? What have you done to do your part I used to attach to the cultural parts of your life. Are you still all about? What will society say? What will happen to my name in society? Or are you a servant of Allah? And everything about your being is the pleasure of Allah subhanho wa Taala that before you speak you ask yourself, Is
this beloved to Allah or not? If it is, I will do it and if it isn't, I will leave it. Where are you at? With regards to your understanding of the legacy that you collectively carry with the rest of the owner of La ilaha illAllah Muhammad Rasul Allah, so brothers and sisters in Islam as I end Alhamdulillah we have highlighted what the topic is, we've highlighted why it's important and we've highlighted how to go about achieving a truly happy Muslim family. We shall have left you with sound bites that are effective, I've left you with a plan inshallah that can be implemented and you will make me the happiest being if I visit you next time in Bracknell, and inshallah you must it will be
up because everyone here is part of the solution, you part of the whole and I find Muslim families collectively building Jenna, aiming to be united in a better gender in the hereafter. I love you all for the sake of Allah and his lack of love here for your wonderful listenership and attendance, everything correct sir is from Allah alone and he's perfect.
any mistakes are from myself and shavon and I seek Allah subhanho wa Taala His forgiveness will not forgive our past and inspire our futures. And may Allah protect us and our families. And may Allah only cause us to die while he's pleased with us. And may Allah preserve our families after our departure. And may Allah raised us with our families as believers on the day of Emma and Gather, Gather us underneath his arch, and grant us the gift of collectively drinking from the Holden basin of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam after blessing us with lives upon the sinner on Earth, may Allah
is our standing in front of him and gather us with our families and loved ones in the highest genda with Mohammed bin Abdullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam had Allah Allah, Allah Allahu wa Sallim wa barik ala nabina Muhammad, Allah Allah He was a big man