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Mutamarki Oslo Norway 5 4 2012 How To Love You Wife And Be A Super Husband

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Said Rageah

Channel: Said Rageah

Episode Notes

Episode Transcript

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The corneal mukalla Xabi with

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Lolita by that one and

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then Cheetah, the cheetah,

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army

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army

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ma,

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ma,

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ma ma,

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ma,

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ma ma.

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Why should

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Why should you

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to have a quick

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look at

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a CD and he mentioned the title of the talk

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the title that was chosen for this night

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Hello baby

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a lot of you

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have seen

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the lecture

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about Hello. So, this is not going to be exactly the same lecture we would assume that this is going to be part two.

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say first of all

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the perception and understanding of dating in a Western society.

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Now, baby

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in a society

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is completely different than the window we know

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dating in the world.

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You go and you find this person that you're attracted to.

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Background checking is necessary.

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information is provided about the person because the whole idea of to begin with is a temporary thing. It is not a permanent thing. If you want to try this person like you, I will say they try this first as they may try the a shoe a pair of shoes

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So it's not like a long term planning is no like, I want to look into this person, I want to study their personality, I want to know how they think they like and dislike, because I really want to have a relationship long term relationship with the person. It's not like that in the Western society. So Western society is about quick.

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That's what it is about. So what do they do when they go out for

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a walk come to the house of the God

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of course, the family the parents permit

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and most of the time they vote so they use public transportation, they can afford cars.

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So they will go somewhere, he will take at McDonald's for dinner.

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And we will go for me before after.

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And of course, and this is a beautiful initiation of a relationship to them

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over talk about

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the concept of dating Hello.

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I would assume all of you already missed the first lecture so I'm giving you now says establish how to find a suitable match and meet a person that you want to be with for the rest of your life. Not Today we want to go on to the second level, which is when you find that person, how we treat that person.

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Right.

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So all of you are single

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wife sitting in the back.

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I just want to know could be anything.

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Now I'm gonna see

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you as we assume, we will have you single

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going to tell you some tips that you have to listen to the first lecture. When you find that person.

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They say something called honeymoon.

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honeymoon.

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honeymoon because nothing goes right in that moment. Because everybody's thinking

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but I'm gonna tell you something from

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when you find that suitable person.

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And this

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I want to tell you secret.

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This is perfect for you.

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This is excellent for you. If you

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don't want to get this

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somewhere else.

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Now

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you want to maintain that low, right? You want to maintain that feeling. You know you love her she loves you when you see her every smile she sees she smiles. I want you do certain things. So you can maintain this look because a lot of what Allah says in the Quran.

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Today I have perfected your religion, which means disease has everything that we needed under Western society cannot offer anything because we have it perfect.

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So what is the first thing if you love someone or you like to maintain that love? What is the first thing that you should do?

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You give that person

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your undivided attention.

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You're dating someone right? When we are like

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you know

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the sister she said you know you call her every single day. You go to your better and the phone was in your ear.

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Come on, you get on this site is already darker than usual, you know, inheritance because you talk about loan.

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But as soon as the efficiency of the

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cabin is a big deal.

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So

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I want you to maintain this relationship. So he is the person, your undivided attention, and never, ever take that person for granted.

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They never say, she's my wife.

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He's my husband was he gonna do

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they take advantage of the situation, and they will undertake

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what is needed, they follow the law. Now, let me tell you something, you boys and the girls, we maintain a relationship with your friends, more than human relationship with your parents and my wife.

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We call your friends, you tell them what happened every single day, he told me this, I talk to this person.

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Because we took them for granted

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forever for the rest of their life or for the rest of your life. So

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in the relationship,

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the

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exact same thing.

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wife and her husband, difficult to maintain the relationship and this is the problem.

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Ever, ever take that person for granted? So what do you do you start with this? Number one after this? Give your spouse a gift?

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Get

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right

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over here.

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No, no, no.

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One thing

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that your wife, your spouse, especially I'm going to tell you 30 things that you should do brothers, to make sure your wife will always appreciate you, I will love you. And I will say this is only 20 things to do. And they will always be on point is give them gift. What are the Messenger of Allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said,

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honor to huddle to have. He said exchanged gifts. And you will love one another. So with this person that you're dating and dating, she's your wife at this point. When you give her gifts,

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then she will always love you. Okay, what kind of gifts?

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What kind of gifts.

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For example,

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you cannot give your wife a flower. You cannot give your wife flowers. If she doesn't like flowers, and she allergic to the flowers.

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If she has issues with flowers, don't give them flowers.

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If you don't want them allergic to chocolate, don't give her a chance at

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all give her not give you a something that she would enjoy.

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This is what they said. It gives his wife necklace. What does it mean?

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It means

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our loan is forever together like that necklace is around your neck.

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It alone gives his wife a ring.

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They said it means remember me all the time. As much as I remember you.

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If a man gives his wife and this is this is human psychology. This is the human psychology. If a man gives his wife

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a cell phone, what does it mean?

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Don't call me.

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No means call me all the time. I want to know where you are. You know, I'm missing you so much that this phone is yours.

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If a man writes a poem for his wife, what does it mean with one of the two things

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First, he saw romantic and he can express his feelings. And he puts everything on people and gives it to his wife to his broke.

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Not

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Not a penny. So he can only afford to write a poem.

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Every gift that you give your wife to

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it means something.

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But what happens with especially with the older generation, they don't do this. No gifts, no exchange and a lot of them they take

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each other for granted. And this is the problem that a lot of people have.

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Second thing that you can do

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second thing to maintain this love and this relationship as

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they call hugging, you know what hug you

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hug me. You know we when we see each other,

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we hug each other right?

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Now in human psychology, they said

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when a man has his wife

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Now look, this scientific tools is not nothing to do with me. They said that would lower the stress in women

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and that will protect them from any future heart attack. And the lower than the what he called a blood pressure will go to the normal stage.

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But what does he do for men? Nothing

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out why our sisters especially the older generation,

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they don't know something called hugging.

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I don't even think they have a word for hugging.

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Hugging.

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I don't even know.

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It was this couple in my office.

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Unfortunately the man he's from the west he was raised

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from the west

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and he went back home and he married a sister from Remi Mashallah fresh.

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Emily's man, he was raised right underneath Hollywood. All he knows about kissing and hugging and holding hands.

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And then they come to my office.

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And of course, she had heard my anchor, he can't because she's shy. And we need to see email for counseling. This is not normal.

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Soccer.

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city, the city getting's good

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in her mind,

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why is he hiding me so much?

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How can loose cargo?

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You know, because from first day, she never she was never, she never saw someone hugging each other as her father, her mother never hugged each other.

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She never saw her father smiling, perhaps in the face of a mother. You never

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saw, she said, saying who you got donia and his wife, and so on. But in reality, it shouldn't be like this. In reality, it should be it should be

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between the husband and wife. And they said, If a man has his wife for five minutes, five minutes.

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If she's angry, she will calm down. If she's stressed out, she will come to the normal, unnatural state.

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if she has any purse, or we call them psychological problems, what is the thing that we saw the all this probably in the last panel.

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Now this is something that a dating cover in the Western society, they will do a lot.

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They will do

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Allah. And this is why a lot of young people especially have law, especially girls, they are more attracted to know so many guys, because none so many guys, they've never, ever learned first hand experience in terms of loving compassion, showing affection between the spouse never have never seen that.

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The more the biggest thing that a child may see his parents doing is holding hands.

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And we're not seeing you know, is that somehow I do a French kiss in front of your children. We're not saying that. But there are some affection some level of, of compassion that the child must see. For him to be able to have a life that is full of love and affection.

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This is very important.

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A lot of young Somali sisters, they will go for Somali guys because they say in so many not romantic, not romantic, not because they know most of the net romantic because the Somalis and they don't know how to do this. Now, the only way that we do is the only way we can learn is through the TV on So one

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other thing number three that you should do, brothers.

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When you see your wife

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you know look at her

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with

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eyes or looks of admiration, Maya this person

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and you look at her like she is the only one that is there.

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Only one and this is a Panama the Messenger of Allah What did he say? What did he say?

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To sorry, he said the righteous women, the righteous wife

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is the one that when you look at her, she pleases you. So islamically you should look at your wife and you say Masha, Allah, Allah. She's so beautiful. She's so gorgeous, and hamdulillah nun like in Nigeria who were in a larger home. And you look at the other way. Or you say I already let him in a shape and

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she looks different than whatever you see outside. It shouldn't be like this, you know, from the cellar, from the aroma of the cellar.

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This unique couple

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has been a wife that why she was sitting in front of the mirror. And now look at this. She was sitting in front of the mirror, and she was admiring her beauty. She was licking herself. And what she was looking at herself. She saw her husband looking at her

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looking at her.

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So she said, dear husband,

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do you know both of us are in Jannah

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insha Allah, how do you know that? She said,

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Because Allah gave you such a beautiful wife like myself, you know really be considered

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and grateful. And a shackle is from the people of gentlemen.

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And Allah gave me such an ugly husband like yourself.

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And I'm a sabia.

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I have some

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so the subnet and the shakin both of them will be in general.

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So the husband should admire his wife.

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You know, and your wife

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should also appreciate that she should appreciate

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I always make fun of the older generation. I'm talking about the older generation no disrespect but the American way of life is very typical, very typical.

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There was this old Cup

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and the old man

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Mashallah colada cola.

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He said, I don't want to mention him and he said now I'm

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just the name.

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He said

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this is this Did I just just that you were so beautiful.

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Say to the

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color boys, it was like more like, you know, making dragons don't get my data either. I

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don't don't i don't want to lose it.

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But from the dean, you know, if you're wanting to see outside, we told them put me on put it up on put this on, put that on. And then when she comes home, and she dresses nice, and the husband, he doesn't want to see anything. Then what was she beautiful her smile. I shouldn't be the case. The man should appreciate everything that a wife does. And he should common in everything she does for him is very important.

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And this is one of the things that really missing in a lot of marriage.

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They really don't appreciate each other. The other thing that you do as a husband

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especially when you come home and when you come from the messed up come from work you always always

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Do not forget to see that some greetings are sent Amani as set up Why? Because shaytan is outside waiting for you waiting to cause chaos and problems in your life.

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So as soon as you say Salaam Alaikum or you read it you're out in the house, then the sheets on would lead now you have your wife to deal with alone. She's got shape on the summer they can be caused to shape on you know, sometimes. So what do you need to do the handler get rid of that and need to do out for your wife, Marsha,

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how's everything my DIY and do a lot of things.

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Number five

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praise your wife and mother.

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And let's

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talk about your wife. Talk about you know, little things you may think is nothing is not important talk about little things like

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her eyebrows. And you say Masha Allah, your eyebrows they look like hello Ramadan but to Ramadan Mashallah your hair are so nice. They could be silky hair, you may need a gloves to touch her hair, but you comment on that. You say Masha Allah,

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they don't have your hair. And inside it says Sahaja last Allah,

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whatever you can to make sure that she's happy with Why? Because this is what the Messenger of Allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam used to do.

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He used to praise Khadija de la. And we used to say,

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I was giving her love. And he used to say, from her last panel with Allah blessed me with children, no one else gave me that. And I shall be along. And I used to say, I never felt jealous of anyone as much as I felt jealous from Khadija and I have never met her. Because messenger overload used to praise her all the time. And also the likes of the Lord. He was telling us to praise it in everything that she does. And we used to say,

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in comparison to the rest of women, is it like a certain type of food, like the rest of food, he's saying that that in comparison to the rest of food, our issue is the top. So for husband, he has to do this as much as he can to praise his wife. And I'm sure a lot of last panel with Allah will give them on the love that the

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other thing that you need to do in terms of holiday dating, if you really want to establish a relationship that lasts forever

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is sit with with your wife.

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Sit with your wife, and let her talk to you.

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According to some of the writers of some of that psychologists and psychiatrists,

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they said women talk

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more than men.

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Some of us is three times more than men, some of those two times more than men. Some of them they said women only 20 with the US 20,000 words

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and then use only 7000 words.

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So according to this study, you have 13,000 words to deal with.

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So you come from work, and she wants to talk. So what do you do?

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What do you do? Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam would sit and listen to Dr. Eyes. He would sit and listen to have some he will sit and listen to Sophia or the Allahu anhu or Jemaine.

00:29:11--> 00:29:39

So from the Sharia, or from the son of Maria sallallahu alayhi wa sallam is for the husband to sit and listen to his wife. And of course, when you listen to your wife, she will feel relieved. She was saying silly things because she has to tell you everything but as a husband, you must honor whatever she says and respect from the hell out the recipe.

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Is

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that the husband never, ever compared his wife. to any anyone.

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Not to the mother.

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Not to your sister.

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Not to fans.

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Not to anyone.

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Because women are very sensitive,

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and when you compare her to your mother, you just letting her know that I was more happy, more happy with my mother than I am with you.

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So what did she do?

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Of course, she will always hold that against you and women, they don't forget anything when they learn.

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Women will never ever forget anything that you did to them the wrong things good thing they forget all the time Mashallah

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wrong things. She has a mental, you know, capacity of storing all the data, all the information she can caught on December 19 1994.

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You left me and you were late for anything on the line.

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And we have nothing but to accept whatever they say. So when you say to your wife, that my wife or my mother or my sister is better than you in her cooking in your cleaning in the way they raise your children. You just put a dagger in her heart.

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Data Thing

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number seven on number eight, that you need to know or need to do in this case.

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as

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men always compare women to themselves, and they forgot a very important thing which is gentleness. So you have to be very gentle to your wife

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and an alias Allahu Allah He was Salaam. He says the hygiene So hey, either

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a holiday thing.

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If a loved one paid for a family,

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he will introduce gentleness to them.

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He will bring gentleness between them.

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A lot and the messenger over last set you live on bill Aryan kamati Hadith in Bukhari. This can be kawari mean Be gentle women be gentle with women.

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In a hurry, send me someone while it was send them come if you Sorry, I'm Muslim, Carla, McConnell Rico fishy Illa Zanna wanna Luciana Shane Illa, shall we say, gentleness cannot be an anything except that it beautifies. And it cannot be removed from anything except that you will look it would make it look ugly. So as a husband,

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you have to be extremely gentle. When you have a date with your wife,

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you got to be extremely gentle, even if you want to correct your wife. If you want to correct her, you have to bring the subject in a way that is so easy, so gentle, so that she can deal with it. Because women cannot deal with criticism, especially when it's coming from her husband, their husbands, they cannot deal with that. So a husband cannot say,

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you know,

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to say he will

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never work like that husband cannot say work. How can you to put the kids to bed early? No. If you want to make a change, you got to do two things. One,

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make a change at the right time. For example,

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make the change when you return from a trip.

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Don't make a change. You see a mistake you want to change. No, make a change when you come back from a trip.

00:33:59--> 00:34:18

So Panama is hikma. Because when you come back and you say you know, I want this this this, she will see you as a man who gained any who gained something who gained wisdom through this journey. And when you come back, you have something new to bring to the house. So she will say okay,

00:34:19--> 00:34:20

but if you go to the

00:34:22--> 00:34:32

kids how to be in bed by seven o'clock? No, it's not gonna happen. It's not gonna happen. So the change, you have to do this second way.

00:34:33--> 00:34:36

You You saw do the work.

00:34:39--> 00:34:49

Again, the house is not clean. Instead of giving a lecture, how to clean the house. No, you should clean the house.

00:34:50--> 00:34:59

Now women are very smart. And they observe everything. They see everything as soon as you do this.

00:35:00--> 00:35:04

She will know something is wrong unless she is little bit slow.

00:35:05--> 00:35:06

She's done.

00:35:07--> 00:35:10

She was all about I couldn't get it.

00:35:12--> 00:35:31

No, this smart wife, you will know my husband. All of sudden he cleaned the house. That means he's not happy with the way that the house is. I have to do it which is smarter. Yes. Listen to your overlock he used to come and clean the house. You know it's true.

00:35:33--> 00:35:44

But there's a hikma. So you got to do this. So the change has to come from you. Through gentleness, through gentle not through hardship.

00:35:47--> 00:35:52

They are excellent in this which is they go for a picnic.

00:35:54--> 00:35:54

picnic,

00:35:55--> 00:35:57

the Toronto mark.

00:36:00--> 00:36:07

So they take them out. Take your food, your lunch, you know, and go to a park.

00:36:08--> 00:36:08

Go to

00:36:09--> 00:36:11

eat with your family.

00:36:13--> 00:36:13

You know,

00:36:14--> 00:36:17

one of the Somali brothers has to be so mad.

00:36:20--> 00:36:22

He took his wife and the kids to the zoo.

00:36:25--> 00:36:30

While he was in the zoo, he got a phone call Kaka sada

00:36:35--> 00:36:36

he told her

00:36:40--> 00:36:41

he went

00:36:42--> 00:36:44

and he left them in the zoo.

00:36:46--> 00:37:04

Now he went Michio Kaku tikka, he went with the seventh art. And of course, you know, when when you have different levels, and especially in Canada, the car is not legal. So when it comes fresh means you don't want to miss that opportunity. You know, he gets very busy in your

00:37:07--> 00:37:10

city before you know it was three four hours

00:37:12--> 00:37:14

he went

00:37:15--> 00:37:19

to the zoo and the zoo is cold

00:37:21--> 00:37:24

and his wife and the kids outside

00:37:26--> 00:37:27

she's upset

00:37:29--> 00:37:30

well my

00:37:35--> 00:37:38

shampoo girl You're the one I really

00:37:39--> 00:37:40

didn't know we're calling you are green.

00:37:44--> 00:37:47

You know, he said your cousin's also got into accident.

00:37:48--> 00:37:53

She said seriously, the kids the only thing the only reason the the outside.

00:37:54--> 00:37:55

The zookeeper wouldn't take them.

00:37:57--> 00:38:00

They look like monkeys but he they will not take them.

00:38:01--> 00:38:05

And we'll like that could leave them inside to teach you a lesson I would have left them.

00:38:07--> 00:38:11

So take your wife out. Don't leave them in the zoo.

00:38:13--> 00:38:13

Monkeys

00:38:15--> 00:38:18

go and enjoy your family.

00:38:19--> 00:38:44

Especially in Somali culture. You see them? The mothers I don't know about Norway. But in Canada you always see the mothers alone they come into the picture the mystery holes with the children alone, you know they bring the children to events and the husband Mashallah Tabata karma. They praise Elijah ginoza while he was

00:38:45--> 00:38:46

useless husband.

00:38:48--> 00:39:01

No, the husband should take the wife to a park, tennis for serial killer. Enjoy the nature and enjoy your and the other thing that a lot of husbands don't do.

00:39:03--> 00:39:04

Especially so many husbands.

00:39:05--> 00:39:13

And I'm talking about I know that a lot of young people, a lot of people are changing, but I'm talking about the older generation except to some of the middle America

00:39:15--> 00:39:17

taking family vacation,

00:39:20--> 00:39:23

take your family and travel somewhere to a different country.

00:39:24--> 00:39:28

The only time that a man would take this family

00:39:29--> 00:39:34

to a trip that requires flying is when he's taking them back to Somalia.

00:39:36--> 00:39:36

Am I right?

00:39:38--> 00:39:43

Imagine the kids who were born and raised in Oslo, Norway.

00:39:44--> 00:39:47

And you took them one way ticket to Somalia.

00:39:51--> 00:39:55

You put them in the middle of kids that they cannot understand them.

00:39:58--> 00:39:59

But that is the ultimate

00:40:00--> 00:40:10

Their father usually nowadays they would do rather it when you look psychologically we look at human behavior. Children love to spend time with the parents

00:40:11--> 00:40:24

and the wife the most pleasing thing to that I always have a wife is when he sees children had been good time with their father.

00:40:25--> 00:40:39

But the only time we take our children out is when we taking them back to Somalia, no, go travel somewhere. Go to Muslim country no Muslim country is spend quality time with the family.

00:40:41--> 00:40:46

But you also must give the time for your wife.

00:40:48--> 00:40:54

If you can really find time and take her alone for

00:40:55--> 00:40:55

kids

00:40:57--> 00:41:19

you know, let the kids stay with the neighbors let them stay with relatives. Take your wife for actual Hello dating. I know what's your concern is when you know when you're trying to get you know, I'm trying to to hustle within you know try to get to know her. You were ready to do anything but after marriage, you nobody wants to do anything with them.

00:41:21--> 00:41:28

Nothing she's we treat our women somehow as though they are part of the house like a furniture.

00:41:29--> 00:41:31

Masha Allah, Allah will he

00:41:32--> 00:41:34

or she is a sacred place.

00:41:35--> 00:41:46

Rather, we should give them time romantic time, take them out, whatever you want to go. Remember the Nabi sallallahu alayhi wa sallam

00:41:47--> 00:41:49

when he used to travel

00:41:50--> 00:41:56

he used to throw a lot between his wife which one's coming on he had this trip

00:41:58--> 00:42:27

in the house the next trip, you know Zane of this trip, Sofia next trip. They used to voting why because they also need to change the environment. They need to change that the city the location the people, it's good is healthy. And it is good for your relationship because when you do this, Masha, Allah, Allah, she will love you more. Number 11. The other point,

00:42:29--> 00:42:29

husbands

00:42:31--> 00:42:32

This is very important

00:42:37--> 00:42:38

for your wife,

00:42:41--> 00:42:48

for your wife, what is they say you need beautified yourself? For your wife?

00:42:50--> 00:42:57

How many Somali husband? How many Somali husband has a special outfit for his wife?

00:42:58--> 00:42:59

I'm not talking about the honey.

00:43:02--> 00:43:08

No, I'm talking about outfit for your wife. No one else sees that outfit.

00:43:11--> 00:43:16

We don't the non Muslim, the Kufa they have it.

00:43:17--> 00:43:32

When these young girls when they talk to their non Muslim girls, girl girls, and then these men Muslim girls, they talk about their boyfriends. They tell them what they do for them. And then she's like, hmm, can

00:43:33--> 00:43:38

we ever do something like this? For me? And the answer is no.

00:43:40--> 00:43:44

No. Modi in the last hour can imagine a second

00:43:46--> 00:43:47

I'm serious.

00:43:48--> 00:43:49

Or see California

00:43:51--> 00:43:52

every single day.

00:43:54--> 00:43:55

No. Yeah.

00:43:57--> 00:43:59

Yeah, nothing against

00:44:01--> 00:44:02

guys. Don't take it personal.

00:44:04--> 00:44:05

Don't take it personal.

00:44:07--> 00:44:09

Well, what I'm saying is

00:44:10--> 00:44:23

Yeah, listen, um, the sooner listen to the sooner. The sooner you saw the long story that I was asked the IE Shay in Canada, yet the debt when the use of the law when he was seven, either data data.

00:44:26--> 00:44:52

What was the first that he would have stopped when he entered his house on the law and he was telling him? She said Miss wha why because he just enter a romantic room. He's no longer the Prophet overlock like he was outside only. He's not the Imam of the community. He's the commander of the community. He's not this is not that unusual. He is a husband.

00:44:53--> 00:44:59

And that role requires the demands of different things. So the house

00:45:00--> 00:45:02

We have to have a special thing for his wife.

00:45:05--> 00:45:08

And I said all the along she said

00:45:11--> 00:45:22

he was a little bit of magic. She said I used to put the best misc best sleep that I have for Rasulullah sallallahu when he was young he used to get him ready

00:45:23--> 00:45:36

away from the Sun is for the wife to take care of her husband getting dressed, you know if you use a cone and this you know Masha Masha Allah in the let him put all that her put that for him and so on.

00:45:37--> 00:45:42

And this is from the setup your own in ABA therapy alone.

00:45:43--> 00:45:54

In the lead up as a newly Emirati comma ketogenic Lee, he said, I beautifying myself for my wife, let she purify herself for me.

00:45:56--> 00:45:57

It's not that very

00:45:59--> 00:46:21

non Muslims, you know, they shed unnecessary hair, you know, they go to the barber shop, they, you know, they buy, they put the best that they have she Mashallah she's in a room for six hours, you know, grooming for style, you know, cutting this and doing this appointment makeup, so she can be with her boyfriend. Now.

00:46:22--> 00:46:43

The law is saying this is your holiday, no, this is lady, this lady is handled for you, and this man is added for you. So you'd better do the same thing that they do for each other and better. Because if a boss is saying, This is what I do for her, because I want her to look nice for me. And then he said, This is what she likes.

00:46:45--> 00:46:53

And when I do this, she loves and I find that in the book of Allah because Allah said, when a hoonah miscellania Allah when

00:46:54--> 00:46:56

they have exactly equal rights.

00:46:58--> 00:46:59

Listen to this story.

00:47:01--> 00:47:13

A man and a woman came to him a man and his wife came to America. And she said, law, law and law vie, you know, I don't want him I don't want him. I want divorce from this man. So

00:47:15--> 00:47:22

he said, What is his problem? She said, I don't want to talk. I don't want to talk about our own divorce. He looked at this man.

00:47:23--> 00:47:24

And Omar who was

00:47:26--> 00:47:29

cool, he said, Take him out. He took the manner.

00:47:30--> 00:47:40

He told his assistant, go give him a haircut. You know, let him take a shower. Let him take shower. Let him get ready and bring him back.

00:47:42--> 00:47:44

Then he got a haircut.

00:47:47--> 00:47:54

He dressed differently. He smells nice. Doesn't it seems like Mashallah, flies dies, no, no, fly dies? No.

00:47:55--> 00:47:59

So, he came back and he stood right next to her. So she

00:48:01--> 00:48:04

thinks thinking that this is not her husband.

00:48:06--> 00:48:08

And then when he spoke, she looked at him

00:48:09--> 00:48:12

as you realize, this is her husband.

00:48:13--> 00:48:17

And she said yeah, I mean, I don't want a divorce.

00:48:18--> 00:48:21

I don't want to divorce or keep this guy.

00:48:23--> 00:48:31

What changed her mind? Not because I talked to her not because he said he's not the man to

00:48:32--> 00:48:34

ask him out to take care of himself.

00:48:35--> 00:48:38

So this is what women or wife would like.

00:48:40--> 00:48:40

And

00:48:42--> 00:48:45

this is what he said on the first night.

00:48:46--> 00:49:22

He said such do for them. For one lie in the hoonah like we said what? They love what you love, what do you love? What a men What do men love? Imagine if you're if you come home and you're feeling all romantic, Mashallah. And you've been listening to this machine by Hamad bahagian and you know, all of a sudden you you know, you love is there and you come back and here's like Masha Allah revealed that she did not take care of herself and you come closer, she smells like onions and garlic. And Mashallah, what what do you do?

00:49:24--> 00:49:26

You will say a lot of a whole family.

00:49:27--> 00:49:31

Right? You want like your wife to look like that.

00:49:32--> 00:49:40

You want your wife to look nice and to be ready for you. So how come is handled for you, but it's harder for them.

00:49:42--> 00:49:44

Is that fair? thing, double standard.

00:49:45--> 00:49:49

So this is important. Now listen to the other story of

00:49:50--> 00:49:56

this is it's a story of Mohammed bin Hanafi and Mohammed didn't have any his son of

00:49:59--> 00:50:00

these competitors.

00:50:03--> 00:50:04

He said, I came

00:50:06--> 00:50:30

I was walking with Him and I realized them Hamad bin hanafuda he has like got shadow color has overcome on himself as being the best Liske So I said to him, man, what is this? Or this overdone my wife put it on me. Or whether it be please What in

00:50:31--> 00:50:48

a minute my mistake he made when he said, she put this on me because she likes on me what I would like on her mean, somebody smells nice. So a husband have to take care of himself for his wife.

00:50:51--> 00:50:55

point for the married brothers, and this is the important

00:50:57--> 00:50:58

point number

00:50:59--> 00:51:00

three,

00:51:01--> 00:51:02

the good

00:51:03--> 00:51:06

to have fun.

00:51:08--> 00:51:09

Be good to have fun.

00:51:10--> 00:51:13

Not to your funnel, beaker to have fun.

00:51:15--> 00:51:24

I'll tell you something. And this is not I'm not bragging. I'm not bragging v. But it did work for me. And I think it can work for you.

00:51:26--> 00:51:27

my in laws,

00:51:29--> 00:51:34

they are Christian. Now any Christian is strong, Catholic.

00:51:35--> 00:51:44

You know, though that my mother in law, she goes to church every Sunday. She goes today, we just weaken. She's in the church.

00:51:45--> 00:51:48

You know, Christmas, everything is Christian.

00:51:50--> 00:51:56

You know, she gives donation, fixed donation out of her salad. Her husband, Mashallah.

00:51:59--> 00:52:00

Now,

00:52:01--> 00:52:06

they hate this. They hated Islam. And they hated black people

00:52:07--> 00:52:12

coming to propose to the doctor, I'm black. And I'm Muslim.

00:52:14--> 00:52:17

Now, I did one thing.

00:52:18--> 00:52:44

I said being good to them. And of course, my wife she loved that. Have you been good to them? But not the only she loves it? They then saw they change their attitude towards Islam and black people, especially Samana. And he says, No, no, no, no, you're not black. I say man, I'm black. is a no, no, no, you're not black. You know, his mother. She says

00:52:45--> 00:52:47

My son is darker than you.

00:52:49--> 00:52:51

Before I was black, and I was no.

00:52:53--> 00:53:11

Then the father said before I met you, I used to be racist. He was a racist. He was all white. And I used to hate Islam. He says because of the cost you treat us differently. You know, my daughter loves you. And we love you.

00:53:12--> 00:53:20

So the best thing that you do for your wife is one of the best things, be good to her family.

00:53:21--> 00:53:23

And hear Mashallah.

00:53:25--> 00:53:47

She sent them a For example, He sent them $200 or $100. If they alive, are they still have the need. Even if they living with you in the same area. You go and you're good to them, you visit them. Your wife will respect you. And she will love you and even she has albums with you. She will never complain about you.

00:53:48--> 00:53:49

She won't

00:53:51--> 00:53:59

because you doing something. That's the thing. She thinks that is not part of your responsibility, but you didn't for your wife.

00:54:00--> 00:54:03

I remember that he said he was telling him

00:54:04--> 00:54:05

when he did die

00:54:06--> 00:54:36

to every time that he killed a goat or ran. He will give some of the meat to the Friends of ninja for the respect and honor Huggy and that's how I used to be jealous. She used to be just now when your wife sees your date when she sees that you love her parents and you always are there to help them will lie. She will overlook a lot of your right a lot of hair rights that you're not delivering.

00:54:38--> 00:54:46

Number 13 appreciate what your wife does. At home and outside of the house.

00:54:47--> 00:54:57

Appreciate one lie. Women what they cry for is nothing but a symbol of appreciation.

00:54:58--> 00:54:59

JazakAllah Hello my

00:55:00--> 00:55:04

Allah, Allah, Allah with Chi sama

00:55:06--> 00:55:11

is tasteless food. But you show your appreciation.

00:55:12--> 00:55:39

You said she does something you say Masha Allah, just by showing appreciation. You're giving her a reputation to live up to. She wants to impress you every single day. She wants to improve her game as they say every single day. She wants to make sure that you're happy and she observes you when you walk into the house she she would observe you should observe it to see if you notice anything different.

00:55:40--> 00:55:47

So do not be stingy with appreciation. And remember the handwritten letter is on the long run. He was Sanofi

00:55:49--> 00:56:03

Malaya nurse latest promo if you're not grateful to the people, you're not grateful to Allah and the first person who deserve this appreciate other than your wife. So you should have that as it Mashallah

00:56:05--> 00:56:06

I should appreciate anything that she does.

00:56:08--> 00:56:10

The other thing that we good at it

00:56:13--> 00:56:14

and I'm saying sarcastically,

00:56:16--> 00:56:22

a lot of men have good which is mentioning have faults in the past.

00:56:23--> 00:56:27

mentioning her fault, we could bring that up.

00:56:28--> 00:56:29

We can

00:56:30--> 00:57:12

which is a very negative thing. Imagine let us assume you're sitting with that young lady in a restaurant. Keep in mind in the Western society dating, you're dating this young lady. What do you bring her past? What do you say you did this, this this this this? You would never do that. None of us would do this. Why? Because you want to impress her. You want to show her that? Hey, I appreciate you. And I'm not gonna I'm not gonna talk about your past. But when it comes to our wife, we really we bring it to them. And we say look, this is what you did. This is your fault. This is your fault. It's your fault and this is your fault.

00:57:14--> 00:57:30

That is not how should we be treating our wives. Now that maybe some of what he was telling said men should not turn away should not be ha should not disrespect a minute.

00:57:31--> 00:57:38

If you dislike something that she does, let him look into something that he likes about her.

00:57:39--> 00:57:51

you dislike the way she does certain things. Concentrate on the things that you appreciate the things that you like most not other way around, not the other way around.

00:57:56--> 00:58:08

The other thing here 40 filler and I want to conclude as soon as I can, I can't. The other thing that we have is if you really want this to work then

00:58:11--> 00:58:14

increase the number of surprises

00:58:15--> 00:58:24

surprise surprise your wife. surprise your wife we're doing things that out of out of you know why

00:58:25--> 00:58:32

you come home the food is ready on the table you ready to eat? You say no? Put your job on.

00:58:33--> 00:58:35

We're gonna go somewhere and eat outside.

00:58:36--> 00:58:40

You may say it's a waste of food. No. Women love these things.

00:58:41--> 00:59:19

Even though she cooked she will surprise her better he said okay, what do you do? Masha Allah come home with a gift. Surprise anyway something else Mashallah come home and do something or go if she goes if she has, she works and so on. Pick her from work, bring new things spice up your life, your life your marriage, your life should not be you know, somebody does something that is in a in a predictable you did the same thing last week. And this week and the week before and the week now it should be like that is full of surprises.

00:59:20--> 00:59:22

The other thing that you do in particular

00:59:25--> 00:59:39

you should also work on her in and you should work on her email because when you work on the email of the person, she will never ever run out of love that she has for you.

00:59:46--> 00:59:47

What time is

00:59:56--> 00:59:59

the other this is one of the points I was talking about. Which is

01:00:00--> 01:00:25

Bring something that increases her email like bringing lectures or DVDs for example, if she listened to Somali lectures, lectures from chef Mustafa huddle lecture from chef Adi, you know lectures from the shield that will increase her Eman And because see what we're missing nowadays is not information well missing is lack of

01:00:26--> 01:00:48

so if you want your wife to be a righteous way that will deliver your rights to you and that would be beautiful obedience loving what you're wise that you always want to Morocco, Sania then bring something that would increase her Eman And through that inshallah your life when you will live a life, you know, that you would enjoy.

01:00:50--> 01:00:53

The other thing is, and I know this is a taboo thing.

01:00:55--> 01:01:12

You know, you bring something that spice of your marital life, and I'm not talking about massage. I'm not talking about buying her genband I'm talking about some of the more intimate, more intimate, increase the level of intimacy between you and your wife.

01:01:14--> 01:01:15

Like, what

01:01:18--> 01:01:19

is he saying? I don't know.

01:01:26--> 01:01:29

He should know what his wife likes.

01:01:30--> 01:01:30

See,

01:01:31--> 01:02:14

there is a difference between the husband and in the mind of the wife, the husband, her brother, her father, all her male relatives just said something different. What is it is that relationship that you have with her that she cannot have with anyone else. She loves her father, but at the same loan. She loves her, but is not the same lover. She loves you. She loves all her members, including her children. It's not the same love. So you got to maintain that type of loan is something that's so special, so unique between two people.

01:02:15--> 01:02:16

Two people.

01:02:18--> 01:02:21

And I remember and I know I mentioned I remember

01:02:22--> 01:02:39

the first time that I mentioned Have you Canary sallallahu alayhi wa sallam that the messenger overlock You know, he was a romantic man, some of the lohani he was setting them and that him and Arusha used to take shower or bath together.

01:02:41--> 01:02:46

Imagine, you see, and then it started and the whole game Coca Cola, you know?

01:02:48--> 01:03:03

What is he talking about? Because he never heard that the messenger overlock and she could never imagine messenger overlock taking shower or bath with his wife.

01:03:04--> 01:03:05

Because this is a

01:03:09--> 01:03:10

which is not a

01:03:11--> 01:03:27

really, this is from the son of newness of the law while he was suddenly and this is something that a man and this is why a lot of young Muslim girls, I'm not talking about Somalis. A lot of Muslim girls, they, you know, some kind of law.

01:03:28--> 01:03:31

I was reading one of the situation.

01:03:34--> 01:03:37

The lady, she was next summer.

01:03:39--> 01:03:42

This lady she was married 15 years.

01:03:43--> 01:03:44

15 years.

01:03:46--> 01:03:57

She's married to this man for 15 years. She was never married before. So she doesn't know anything about intimacy other than what this man introduced to her.

01:03:59--> 01:04:01

So he came to the west.

01:04:02--> 01:04:03

She went to school, I want to go

01:04:05--> 01:04:10

do something. So she went to school. She met this white man

01:04:11--> 01:04:13

by Captain America.

01:04:14--> 01:04:21

And she thought you know, I can practice my language with this man. You know, we we are just friends and they were not practicing.

01:04:23--> 01:04:25

Next thing that, you know,

01:04:26--> 01:04:27

this man

01:04:28--> 01:04:31

committed Zina or she committed you know this man.

01:04:33--> 01:04:39

But that the sin of Zener is massive. It's It's huge.

01:04:40--> 01:04:47

It was bigger and worse than that, as she never wanted to go back to her husband.

01:04:49--> 01:04:49

No.

01:04:51--> 01:04:57

She said I didn't know that marriage could be this enjoyable.

01:05:00--> 01:05:05

can never be because in her mind, the man does what he has to do them customers Asara.

01:05:08--> 01:05:10

For her, this is what she knew.

01:05:12--> 01:05:17

Now look, this man, of course is responsible.

01:05:18--> 01:05:31

A lady came to me to go and listen to this is very unique. lady came to me to go hop on T shirts and she said, your ameerul momineen. She said, Oh Amira, meaning

01:05:33--> 01:05:36

my husband, my husband.

01:05:37--> 01:05:38

So one

01:05:39--> 01:05:49

my husband Masha Allah, a one every single month is praying for your family, which is excellent. And he passed every single day.

01:05:50--> 01:06:00

He said, When nearly said, this is an excellent man, a righteous man that he married my own boss and the lady. She felt shy. What can she say?

01:06:02--> 01:06:03

to do his job?

01:06:05--> 01:06:18

So one of the she came complaining, not praising her husband. She said What is this call? He said what she's complaining about? He said, she said her husband does not give her her rights.

01:06:19--> 01:06:20

And almost said

01:06:21--> 01:06:24

Is it true what he said? She said yes, of course.

01:06:26--> 01:06:27

So the man

01:06:29--> 01:06:30

he judge

01:06:32--> 01:06:38

that this man should give his wife her rights once every four days

01:06:39--> 01:06:54

once every four days even a Tamia Sarah himolla it's not true all the time. He said because they need that the spouse have is like the appetite that we have for food.

01:06:55--> 01:07:16

My right for food for sleep for Western we are different. We are different. Some of the people for three hours is still three hours a night, Mashallah all full of energy, energetic, energetic, and so on. Some people they need eight hours, nine hours, some people they have to this month, some of you this month and this is the same thing

01:07:18--> 01:07:55

is not equal there is no fixed measurement. So the status thing is a lot of people do not concern themselves with this and they assume the doing the best for their wife. We're going to start here because they said I have to give time for question answers and inshallah we will talk a lot more thing inshallah, when we have, and I know that much more is the Judgement Day. But perhaps maybe I should talk about the rights that we have over them. Agree.

01:07:57--> 01:07:58

Do we agree?

01:07:59--> 01:08:03

Yeah, I shall everybody say Yes, Mr. IP said he didn't

01:08:04--> 01:08:06

buy one of the questions.

01:08:24--> 01:08:51

If you can kind of sit down or if you want to leave me quietly I know you have to go I think the brother said we all have to pray. So lots of motherhood here and we shot a lot in the salaat there's a lot of waiting for Salah. So if you have to leave you can leave but leave quietly. Otherwise, please be calm because there are those who are sitting who like to listen to the answers or the questions.

01:09:05--> 01:09:09

You can certainly make your phone ring duplicate. So color scheme is special.

01:09:12--> 01:09:14

Is it a secondary topic thing in

01:09:26--> 01:09:29

microphones and other lung learning? So this was a small

01:09:50--> 01:09:51

Of course.

01:09:53--> 01:09:58

When chef, musty is here is more suitable to ask

01:10:00--> 01:10:04

Have Hargeisa especially to benefit from the sheer

01:10:06--> 01:10:08

the sense of Bertha jela Kelly stepping in as

01:10:10--> 01:10:16

it depends on the title The job of the person who does according to the some of the fatality of

01:10:17--> 01:10:17

others.

01:10:19--> 01:10:30

If the person is dealing z, lottery idols, these things, then he is not permitted to work in a similar environment.

01:10:31--> 01:10:42

If he's dealing other department that sells MOBA or other things, in this case, he is allowed. And Mashallah would be no problem.

01:11:08--> 01:11:09

I had

01:11:10--> 01:11:10

to

01:11:13--> 01:11:14

numerously Listen, I think

01:11:16--> 01:11:16

this

01:11:17--> 01:11:26

one is from the previous lecture, we heard the other time and then one for you. Just the lecture we have right now. Yeah.

01:11:27--> 01:11:29

The other one is this one for you is

01:11:31--> 01:11:35

you met the girl, you just heard information about her, and

01:11:36--> 01:11:37

you don't have

01:11:38--> 01:11:43

a lot of potential information that you can marry her with? How are you gonna?

01:11:49--> 01:11:58

is a good question. I mean, as is very good question. It happens. It happens a lot. A lot of boys, they want to talk to girls

01:12:00--> 01:12:16

that they can afford to get married. They so poor, they have no job, you have no education, their parents can get afford to get them married, but they still want to talk to girls. And the girls are entertaining this, which is worse.

01:12:39--> 01:12:40

So

01:12:42--> 01:13:03

in this case, what do you need to do is chill, relax, until you are ready for marriage, then you start looking and remember how long it was in the same Muslim, that everything is written before the completion of this earth 50,000 years before the creation of the earth, so nothing would miss you. Now

01:13:06--> 01:13:12

the other question is, when she was talking about Reba, and

01:13:13--> 01:13:28

in this years, you know, we use cards and stuff. And they sometimes when you buy stuff from the shop, and there is little, you know, one two cones down, go buy with the card that is that we were to or

01:13:34--> 01:13:44

I think the best question would be more suitable for the CFO talk about the subject inshallah. So if you wait for the chef, because he's the one who cover the subject. Now

01:13:48--> 01:13:51

Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh.

01:13:54--> 01:13:59

Because there are a lot of sisters they kept here long without

01:14:02--> 01:14:03

a lot out.

01:14:06--> 01:14:07

There rather

01:14:10--> 01:14:15

he asked the question, there are a lot of sisters who who came here without a Muharram.

01:14:17--> 01:14:20

And is that alone?

01:14:22--> 01:14:45

Well, I don't have any evidence, any proof from the sun from the Quran and the Sunnah. That is clear, decisive, indicating it is permissible. All the evidence that I know that I have is not allowing them to travel without a Mahara.

01:14:46--> 01:14:50

And there is a reason why this area was strict about

01:14:51--> 01:14:54

not allowing women to travel without a Muharram

01:14:56--> 01:15:00

because there's a lot of risks. A lot of

01:15:00--> 01:15:42

risks are the risks that this young lady is taking by traveling by herself. And trust me, I know enough stories that happen that I dealt with. And the reason that all this fitness started is because girls sisters were allowed to travel to a different city to a different country without a Muharram. So we would encourage her with sisters and not to travel without a Muharram. And I know you some of you may come and pull that photo out of your pocket, according to the groove of a shaft a coral into the groove of a hub according to the groove of hamady. But I would say at the end of the day, according to the Hadith that we have, is not permitted Allah Allah.

01:15:46--> 01:15:59

Next question is, I was married before six months. I have a lot, of course, a lot of long experience that can I, my wife? Oh, for sure. We kept on Good job.

01:16:01--> 01:16:04

Can I sit with McDonald's? My wife

01:16:06--> 01:16:07

says McDonald's.

01:16:09--> 01:16:11

You say before you can go without.

01:16:29--> 01:16:35

We all know we all know. McDonald's is a cheap restaurant.

01:16:36--> 01:17:16

Right? However, however, it has nothing to do sometimes with how much money you have. Right? It's just as something to do with your taste. If you feel like a fish play, or fries, or have a cheeseburger if you can find that, you know, then it's a different story. Take your wife, your mother in law. Take them on to McDonald's for the Langham, but I use it because one of those cheap restaurants so don't do not be offended if it's your wife, or your husband at McDonald's. just lick your fingers. They're Mashallah delicious. Don't worry about it was good. Mashallah.

01:17:22--> 01:17:24

I want to ask you this question about

01:17:26--> 01:17:35

you mentioned, a lot of wives would be grateful to first is your wife. And I want to know with the sisters come the mother

01:17:38--> 01:17:39

was the wife of one?

01:17:42--> 01:17:44

No, mother right? decision.

01:17:48--> 01:17:57

The question is, which of the two had or which one has the more wife, your wife or your mother?

01:17:58--> 01:18:10

Of course, when it comes to choosing between the two, and I'm talking about a normal situation, of course, the mother has more whites.

01:18:11--> 01:18:28

The reason that I didn't talk about mothers is because the time was had on dating, it was not about the race of the parents. But yes, the mothers have over you know, they overrule the rights of wives are strong. The mother's not asking for something that is hard on the law.

01:18:43--> 01:18:52

There's a written question, it says, Is it good? Is it good for the relationship to have a long distance relationship?

01:18:53--> 01:19:25

I do not encourage and I don't think it's a good idea to have long relationship, this relationship or two, I mean, you also have to understand if the situation dictates and you have no choice and say in the situation, and they have to be apart is one thing. But if you can afford to be together, I would say you shouldn't be together because long distance is never helpful in any relationship or Lalalalala.

01:19:28--> 01:19:30

Last question, last two questions inshallah.

01:19:32--> 01:19:50

This question is connecting to the other one. The wife, what is her like duty upon her husband? We'll come to in concert to the Father. Should she appeal her father first are the men right? There, right. Okay. This is the right

01:19:51--> 01:19:59

husband has more rights over the wife than her father. So if the husband says one thing

01:20:00--> 01:20:03

The father says one thing, then the husband should be obey,

01:20:04--> 01:20:13

in the case of wife and mother, and the mother has more authority and more wife over the wife. Now, next question

01:20:23--> 01:20:34

I want to ask the question about me and my friends we were concerned about, if you want to date, another date, but I want to get know,

01:20:35--> 01:20:55

a potential future. And then if you go here to help parents, and you want to ask the Father, permission to talk to the lady, but if you do that, the lady will think you're loser, because of the Western scarcity and the father will also laugh at you and say, we'd say

01:20:57--> 01:20:58

Donna San Diego.

01:21:00--> 01:21:03

So what do you do in that situation?

01:21:04--> 01:21:07

In this situation, I would say listen to

01:21:08--> 01:21:09

the dating part one.

01:21:12--> 01:21:26

However, it is a dilemma. It is a dilemma. Young people wants to get to know one another. But the parents are making very difficult and the society is making very difficult.

01:21:27--> 01:21:43

And again, if the young lady, this is her mentality, I would say you must reconsider the situation of being with that girl because if she is, this is the way she's thinking. Then this is another Islamic way of thinking we're long Allah Allah, Allah.

01:21:53--> 01:21:54

Allah.

01:21:56--> 01:21:56

Allah, Allah.

01:21:59--> 01:22:00

Allah,

01:22:01--> 01:22:03

Allah, Allah, Allah

01:22:07--> 01:22:09

Allah Allah Allah you across a moto sobre

01:22:11--> 01:22:12

la the Corolla

01:22:29--> 01:22:29

then

01:22:30--> 01:22:31

in

01:22:32--> 01:22:33

silico sir

01:22:37--> 01:22:40

bc Monte

01:22:41--> 01:22:45

how the rocky and with Tamaki Ocelot,

01:22:46--> 01:22:47

Allah tala.

01:22:49--> 01:22:54

From their husbands, they cannot deal with that. So a husband cannot say,

01:22:55--> 01:22:55

you know,

01:22:57--> 01:22:57

he will,

01:22:58--> 01:23:10

he can never work like that has become a stay at work, how can you to put the kids to bed early? know, if you want to make a change, you got to do two things, one,

01:23:11--> 01:23:15

make a change at the right time. For example,

01:23:17--> 01:23:21

make the change, when you return from a trip,

01:23:22--> 01:23:28

don't make a change, you see a mistake you want to change, no, make a change when you come back from a trip

01:23:30--> 01:23:31

to Panama.

01:23:32--> 01:23:49

Because when you come back and you say you know, I want this, this this, she will see you as a man who gained any who gained something who gained wisdom through this journey. And when you come back, you have something new to bring to the house. So she will say okay,

01:23:50--> 01:23:51

but if you go to the

01:23:52--> 01:24:02

kids how to be in bed by seven o'clock? No, it's not gonna happen. It's not gonna happen. So the change, you have to do this second way.

01:24:04--> 01:24:07

You You saw do the work.

01:24:09--> 01:24:19

Again, the house is not clean. Instead of giving a lecture, how to clean the house. No, you should clean the house.

01:24:20--> 01:24:29

Now women are very smart. And they observe everything. They see everything. As soon as you do this.

01:24:31--> 01:24:35

She will know something is wrong unless she is little bit slow.

01:24:36--> 01:24:36

She's done.

01:24:38--> 01:24:40

She was all about I couldn't get it.

01:24:42--> 01:25:00

No, this smart wife You will know my husband. All of sudden he cleaned the house. That means he's not happy with the way that the house is. I have to do it which is smarter. Yes. Listen, you're overlock he used to come on.

01:25:00--> 01:25:02

clean the house. You know it's true.

01:25:03--> 01:25:14

But there's a hikma. So you got to do this. So the change has to come from you through gentleness, through gentle not through hardship.

01:25:18--> 01:25:23

They are excellent in this, which is they go for a picnic,

01:25:24--> 01:25:25

picnic.

01:25:26--> 01:25:26

They were they were.

01:25:29--> 01:25:29

They were there.

01:25:31--> 01:25:37

So they take them out, take your food, your lunch, you know, and go to a park.

01:25:38--> 01:25:39

Go to

01:25:40--> 01:25:41

eat with your family.

01:25:43--> 01:25:44

You know,

01:25:45--> 01:25:48

one of the Somali brothers has to be so mad.

01:25:50--> 01:25:52

He took his wife and the kids to the zoo.

01:25:56--> 01:25:59

While he was in the zoo, he got a phone call.

01:26:05--> 01:26:06

He told her

01:26:10--> 01:26:11

he went

01:26:12--> 01:26:14

and he left them in the zoo.

01:26:17--> 01:26:35

Now he will measure cosmetica human with the seven art and of course, you know when when you have different levels, and especially in Canada, the car is not legal. So when it comes fresh, it means you don't want to miss that opportunity. You know, he gets very busy in your

01:26:37--> 01:26:40

city before you know it was three four hours

01:26:42--> 01:26:44

he went

01:26:46--> 01:26:49

to the zoo and the zoo is cold.

01:26:52--> 01:26:55

And his wife and the kids outside

01:26:57--> 01:26:57

she's upset

01:27:06--> 01:27:08

she's the one I really

01:27:14--> 01:27:17

you know he said your cousin so once I got into accident

01:27:18--> 01:27:23

she said seriously the kids the only thing the only reason the the outside

01:27:24--> 01:27:26

zookeeper wouldn't take them.

01:27:27--> 01:27:30

They look like monkeys but he they will not take them

01:27:31--> 01:27:35

and will like that could leave them inside to teach you a lesson I would have left them.

01:27:37--> 01:27:41

So take your wife out. But don't leave them in the zoo.

01:27:42--> 01:27:43

Not monkeys.

01:27:45--> 01:27:48

Go and enjoy your family.

01:27:49--> 01:28:14

Well, especially in Somali culture. You see them the mothers I don't know about Norway. But in Canada you always see the mothers alone they come into the picture the mystery holes with the children alone, you know the bringing the children to the event and the husband Mashallah Tabata comma, they pray Sahaja ginoza while he was

01:28:16--> 01:28:17

useless husband,

01:28:18--> 01:28:31

know, the husband should take the wife to a park, tennis, for serial killer. Enjoy the nature and enjoy your fun. The other thing that a lot of husbands don't do.

01:28:33--> 01:28:34

Especially so many husbands.

01:28:35--> 01:28:43

And I'm talking about I know that a lot of young people, a lot of people are changing, but I'm talking about the older generation except to some of them in America.

01:28:46--> 01:28:47

Taking family vacation,

01:28:51--> 01:28:54

family and travel somewhere to a different country.

01:28:55--> 01:28:58

The only time that a man would take his family

01:28:59--> 01:29:05

to a trip that requires flying is when he's taking them back to Somalia.

01:29:06--> 01:29:07

Am I right?

01:29:09--> 01:29:13

In urging the kids who were born and raised in Oslo, Norway,

01:29:15--> 01:29:17

and you took them one way ticket to Somalia.

01:29:19--> 01:29:19

And

01:29:21--> 01:29:25

you put them in the middle of kids that they cannot understand them.

01:29:28--> 01:29:41

But that is the ultimate thing that a father usually nowadays they would do. Rather it when you look psychologically we look at human behavior. Children love to spend time with the parent

01:29:42--> 01:29:54

and the wife. The most pleasing thing to the eye, or life of a wedding is when he sees children had been good time with their father.

01:29:56--> 01:29:59

But the only time we take our children out is when we taking them back to somebody

01:30:00--> 01:30:09

No, go travel somewhere. Go to Muslim country, Muslim country is spend quality time with the family.

01:30:12--> 01:30:17

But you also must give the time for your wife

01:30:18--> 01:30:24

if you can really find time and take a loan for

01:30:25--> 01:30:25

kids

01:30:27--> 01:30:50

you know let the kids stay with the neighbors let them stay with relatives. Take your wife for actual Hello dating. I know what's your concern a SYN you know when you're trying to get you know, I'm trying to hustle within you know, try to get to know her. You were willing to do anything but after marriage, you nobody wants to do anything with them.

01:30:51--> 01:30:58

Nothing. She's we treat our women somehow as though they are part of the house like a furniture.

01:30:59--> 01:31:01

Masha Allah, Allah Willie.

01:31:03--> 01:31:04

And she is a sacred place.

01:31:05--> 01:31:16

Rather, we should give them time, romantic time, take them out, whatever you want to go. Remember the Nabi sallallahu alayhi wa sallam.

01:31:18--> 01:31:19

When he used to travel,

01:31:21--> 01:31:27

he used to throw a lot between his wife, which was coming I had this trip.

01:31:28--> 01:31:57

I mean, in the next trip, you know the pain of this trip, Sophia the next trip, they used to voting why because they also need to change the environment. They need to change that the city the location of people, it's good is healthy. And it is good for your relationship because when you do this, Masha, Allah, Allah, she will love you more. Number 11. The other point,

01:31:59--> 01:32:00

husbands,

01:32:01--> 01:32:03

this is very important.

01:32:05--> 01:32:06

has a union.

01:32:07--> 01:32:08

For your wife.

01:32:11--> 01:32:18

For your wife, what is they say you need beautifying yourself for your wife.

01:32:20--> 01:32:27

How many Somali husband? How many Somali husband has a special outfit for his wife?

01:32:28--> 01:32:29

I'm not talking about the honey.

01:32:32--> 01:32:39

The honey? No, I'm talking about outfit for your wife. No one else sees that outfit.

01:32:41--> 01:32:46

We don't then then Muslim, the Kufa they have it.

01:32:47--> 01:33:08

When these young girls when they talk to the non Muslim girls, girls, and then these men Muslim grocery talk about their boyfriends. They tell them what they do for them. And then she's like, Huh, can go Sarah. we ever do something like this? For me? And the answer is no.

01:33:10--> 01:33:15

No, Matt Modi, in the last hour can imagine a second

01:33:16--> 01:33:17

I'm serious.

01:33:18--> 01:33:23

Or she can achieve that. Are you more of a headache? Every single day?

01:33:24--> 01:33:26

No. Yeah.

01:33:28--> 01:33:30

Yeah, nothing against

01:33:31--> 01:33:33

guys. Don't take it personal.

01:33:35--> 01:33:36

Don't take it personal.

01:33:38--> 01:33:39

What I'm saying is

01:33:40--> 01:33:44

Yeah, listen, um, the sooner listen to the sooner the sooner.

01:33:45--> 01:33:54

You see that I was asked the IE Shay in Canada, yet the only use of the law while he was seven either data data.

01:33:56--> 01:34:22

What was the first time you would have stopped when he enters his house on the lawn? He was telling him. She said Miss wah. Why? Because he just enter a romantic room. He's no longer the Prophet overlock like he was outside only. He's not the man of the community. He's not the commander of the community. He's not this. He's not that he is a husband.

01:34:23--> 01:34:33

And that role requires the demands of different things. So the husband has to have a special thing for his wife.

01:34:35--> 01:34:39

And I said all the along, she said couldn't talk.

01:34:41--> 01:34:52

He was a little bit of magic. She said I used to put the best misc best sleep that I have for Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. Yanis used to get him ready.

01:34:53--> 01:34:59

away from the Sun is for the wife to take care of her husband, getting dressed.

01:35:00--> 01:35:06

You know, if you use a cone and this you know motion I shot a lot in the left hand put all that hurt put that for him and so on.

01:35:08--> 01:35:12

And this is from the setup your own even ABA therapy alone

01:35:13--> 01:35:25

in the law says they generally in Marathi commoditisation Lee, he said I beautified myself for my wife, she beautify herself for me

01:35:26--> 01:35:27

is not that very

01:35:30--> 01:36:13

non Muslim, you know, they shed unnecessary hair, you know, they go to the barber shop, they, you know, the, by the way they they put the best that they have she Mashallah she's in a room for six hours, you know, grooming her style, you know, cutting this and doing this appalling of makeup, so she can be with her boyfriend. Now. Rahm Subhana, Allah is saying, this is your holiday know, this is lady, this lady is handled for you, and this man is added for you. So you'd better do the same thing that they do for each other and better. Because if not a boss is saying, This is what I do for her because I want her to look nice for me. And then he said, This is what she likes.

01:36:15--> 01:36:23

And when I do this, she loves I find that in the book of Allah because Allah said, when a hoonah mithila de la hinda when

01:36:25--> 01:36:27

they have exactly equal rights.

01:36:28--> 01:36:29

Listen to this story.

01:36:31--> 01:36:36

man and a woman came from a man and his wife came to America. And she said,

01:36:38--> 01:36:44

No, I don't want him. I don't want him. I want divorce from this man. So

01:36:45--> 01:36:52

he said, What is his problem? She said, I don't want to talk. I don't want to talk about our own divorce. He looked at this man.

01:36:53--> 01:36:54

And Omar who was a

01:36:56--> 01:36:59

co he said take him out. They took the manner.

01:37:00--> 01:37:11

He told his assistant go give him a haircut. You know, let him take a shower, didn't take shower. Let him get ready. Um, bring him back.

01:37:13--> 01:37:15

Then he got a haircut.

01:37:17--> 01:37:24

He dressed differently. He smells nice. Doesn't it seems like Mashallah, flies dies No, no, fly dies? No.

01:37:25--> 01:37:30

So, he came back and he stood right next to her. So she Joan

01:37:31--> 01:37:34

thinking that this is not her husband.

01:37:36--> 01:37:38

And then when he spoke she looked at him

01:37:40--> 01:37:43

as you realize, this is her husband.

01:37:44--> 01:37:47

She said yeah, I mean, I don't want a divorce.

01:37:49--> 01:37:52

I don't want a divorce. I keep this guy

01:37:53--> 01:38:02

what changed her mind? Not because America Haha, talk to her now because he said he's not the men took her or

01:38:03--> 01:38:04

asked him to take care of himself.

01:38:06--> 01:38:09

So this is what women or wife would like.

01:38:11--> 01:38:39

And they said, listen to what he said. Well, first of all, he said such do for them. For one lie in the hoonah like we said, what a lie. They love what you love. What do you love? What do men What do men love? Imagine if you're if you come home and you're feeling all romantic, Mashallah. And you've been listening to this machine by Hamad bahagian and you know, all of a sudden you you know,

01:38:40--> 01:38:44

he's there and you come back and here's like, Masha Allah,

01:38:45--> 01:38:53

she did not take care of yourself, and you come closer, she smells like onions and garlic. And Mashallah, what what do you do?

01:38:54--> 01:38:56

You will see a lot of a whole family.

01:38:57--> 01:39:01

Right? You want like your wife to look like that.

01:39:03--> 01:39:10

You want your wife to look nice and to be ready for you. So how come it's handled for you, but it's harder for them?

01:39:12--> 01:39:15

Is that fair? Oh, thing double standard.

01:39:16--> 01:39:19

So this is important. Now listen to the other story of

01:39:21--> 01:39:27

this is it's a story of Mohammed bin hanafy and Mohammed didn't have any his son of

01:39:29--> 01:39:35

these companions yet had been Abdullah manhandle. He said, I came.

01:39:36--> 01:39:59

I was walking with Him and I realized them Hamad bin hanafuda he has like got shadow color has overcome on himself as being the best Liske So I said to him, what is this color this overdone? My wife put it on me. Color was the hannity bill, please.

01:40:00--> 01:40:03

What are your stay here in a minute my mistake he he.

01:40:05--> 01:40:19

He says she put this on me because she likes on me what I would like on her mean somebody smells nice. So a husband have to take care of himself for his wife.

01:40:21--> 01:40:25

point for the married brothers and this is important.

01:40:28--> 01:40:28

Point number

01:40:30--> 01:40:30

three

01:40:32--> 01:40:33

the good

01:40:34--> 01:40:36

to have family

01:40:38--> 01:40:39

Be careful

01:40:41--> 01:40:43

not to your funnel. beaker terrified

01:40:45--> 01:40:55

I'll tell you something. And this is not I'm not bragging. I'm not bragging v. But it did work for me and I think it can work for you.

01:40:57--> 01:40:58

my in laws.

01:40:59--> 01:41:04

They are Christian. Not any Christian is strong, Catholic.

01:41:05--> 01:41:15

You know, my mother in law, she goes to church every Sunday. She goes today we just we can choose in the church.

01:41:16--> 01:41:19

You know, Christmas, everything is Christian.

01:41:20--> 01:41:27

You know, she gives donation, fixed donation out of her salad. Her husband, Mashallah.

01:41:29--> 01:41:30

Now,

01:41:31--> 01:41:36

they hate this. They hated Islam, and they hated black people.

01:41:37--> 01:41:42

Now I'm coming to propose to the daughter, I'm black, and I'm Muslim.

01:41:44--> 01:41:47

Now, I did one thing.

01:41:48--> 01:42:17

I said being good to them. And of course, my wife she loved that. I've been good to them. But not the only she loves it. They then saw they change their attitude towards Islam and black people, especially Samana. And he says, No, no, no, no, you're not black. I say man, I'm black. He's a no no, no, you're not black. You know, his mother. She says, No, no, no, no, no. My son is darker than you.

01:42:19--> 01:42:22

Before I was black, and I was no.

01:42:23--> 01:42:41

Then the father said before I even met you. I used to be racist. He was a racist. He was all white. And I used to hate Islam. He said because because you treat us differently. You know, my daughter loves you. And we love you.

01:42:42--> 01:42:50

So the best thing that you do for your wife is one of the best things be good to her family.

01:42:52--> 01:42:53

And here Mashallah.

01:42:56--> 01:43:17

He sent them a For example, He sent them $200 or $100 is their life or they still have the need. Even if they living with you in the same area. You go on you good to them, you visit them, your wife will respect you. And she will love you and even she has albums with you. She will never complain about you.

01:43:19--> 01:43:19

She won't

01:43:21--> 01:43:29

because you doing something that she thinks she thinks that is not part of your responsibility, but you didn't for your wife.

01:43:31--> 01:43:33

Remember that he said he was selling him

01:43:34--> 01:43:36

when he did die,

01:43:37--> 01:44:07

too. Every time that he kills a goat or RAM, he will give some of the meat to the Friends of Khadija for the respect and honor and that's how I used to be jealous. She used to be just now when your wife sees you Hello, date when she sees that you love her parents and you always are there to help them along. She will overlook a lot of your right a lot of her rights that you're not delivering.

01:44:09--> 01:44:16

Number 13 appreciate what your wife does. At home and outside of the house.

01:44:19--> 01:44:27

One lie women what they cry for is nothing but simple appreciation.

01:44:28--> 01:44:34

jazak Allah, Masha Allah, Allah, Allah with Chi sama

01:44:36--> 01:44:41

is tasteless food. But you show your appreciation.

01:44:42--> 01:45:00

You said she does something. You say Masha Allah, just by showing appreciation. You're giving her a reputation to live up to. She wants to impress you every single day. She wants to improve her game as they say every single

01:45:00--> 01:45:09

Today, she wants to make sure that you're happy and she observes you when you walk into the house she would observe you should observe it to see if you notice anything different.

01:45:10--> 01:45:17

So do not be stingy with appreciation and remember that on the long run, he was Sanofi.

01:45:19--> 01:45:34

moleska nurse lawyers calm if you're not grateful to the people you're not grateful to Allah and the first person who deserve this appreciate other than your wife. So you should have that as it Masha Allah, Allah, Allah,

01:45:35--> 01:45:37

I should have everything that she does.

01:45:39--> 01:45:40

The other thing that we good at it

01:45:43--> 01:45:45

and I'm saying sarcastically,

01:45:46--> 01:45:52

a lot of men have good, which is mentioning her fault in the past.

01:45:53--> 01:45:57

mentioning her fault, we could bring that up.

01:45:58--> 01:45:59

We can

01:46:00--> 01:46:43

which is a very negative thing. Imagine let us assume you're sitting with that young lady in a restaurant. Keep in mind in the Western society dating you're dating this young lady, what do you bring her past? What do you say you did this this this this this? You would never do that none of us would do this. Why? Because you want to impress her. You want to show her that hey, I appreciate you. And I'm not gonna I'm not gonna talk about your path. But when it comes to our wife, we really we bring it to them and we say look this is what you did this is your fault This is your fault This is your fault and this is your fault.

01:46:45--> 01:47:00

That is not how we should be treating our wife now that maybe some of what he was selling said men should not turn away should not be hot should not disrespect a minute

01:47:02--> 01:47:08

if he dislikes something that she does, let him look into something that he likes about

01:47:09--> 01:47:22

you dislike the way she does certain things. Concentrate on the things that you appreciate the things that you like most not other way around, not other way around.

01:47:26--> 01:47:38

The other thing is 43 now and I want to conclude as soon as I can I can't The other thing that we have as if you really want this to work then

01:47:41--> 01:47:44

increase the number of surprises

01:47:45--> 01:47:55

surprise surprise your wife surprise your wife we're doing things that out of out of you know why

01:47:56--> 01:48:02

you come home the food is ready on the table you ready to eat you say no? Put your job on put

01:48:03--> 01:48:05

we're gonna go somewhere and eat outside

01:48:07--> 01:48:10

you may say it's a waste of food No. Women love these things.

01:48:12--> 01:48:49

Even though she could she will surprise her better he said okay. What do you do? Masha? Allah come home with a gift. Surprise anyway something else Masha Allah come home and do something or go if she goes if she has she works and so on. Pick her from work, bring new things spice up your life. Your life emergent life should not be you know, somebody does something that is in a in a predictable, you did the same thing last week. And this week and the week before and the week No, it should be life that is full of surprises.

01:48:51--> 01:48:53

The other thing that you do in particular

01:48:56--> 01:49:10

you should also work on her Eman. You should work on her email because when you work on the email of the person, she will never ever run out of love that she has for you.

01:49:16--> 01:49:17

What time is

01:49:26--> 01:49:29

the other this is one of the points I was talking about which is

01:49:30--> 01:49:55

bringing something that increases her email like bringing lectures or DVDs for example, if she listened to Somali lectures, lectures from chef Mustafa hodel lecture from chef Adi lectures from the shield that will increase her Eman. And because see, what we're missing nowadays is not information while missing is lacking.

01:49:57--> 01:49:59

So if you want your wife to be a righteous wideout

01:50:00--> 01:50:18

We'll deliver your rights to you and that would be beautiful obedience loving what? Why is that you always want to Marotta Sania, then bring something that would increase her Eman And through that inshallah your life when you will live a life, you know that you would enjoy.

01:50:20--> 01:50:24

The other thing is, and I know this is a taboo thing.

01:50:25--> 01:50:42

You know, you bring something that spice up your marital life, and I'm not talking about massage. I'm not talking about buying hair genband I'm talking about something more intimate, more intimate. increase the level of intimacy between you and your wife.

01:50:45--> 01:50:45

Like one

01:50:48--> 01:50:50

at a time, I don't know.

01:50:56--> 01:50:59

Listen, he should know, when his wife

01:51:00--> 01:51:01

sees

01:51:02--> 01:51:45

there is a difference between the husband and in the mind of the wife, the husband, her brother, her father, or her male relatives just said something different. What is it is that relationship that you have with her that she cannot have with anyone else. She loves her father, but at the same loan. She loves her, but is not the same lover. She loves me. She loves all her members, including her children. It's not the same love. So you got to maintain that type of love is something that's so special, so unique between two people.

01:51:46--> 01:51:47

Two people.

01:51:48--> 01:51:51

I remember and I know I mentioned I remember

01:51:52--> 01:52:10

the first time that I mentioned how definity sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, but the messenger overlock you know he was a romantic man. So the law while he was setting them, and that him and Arusha used to take shower or bath together.

01:52:11--> 01:52:17

Imagine use it and then it started and the whole game Coca Cola, you know?

01:52:19--> 01:52:33

What is he talking about? Because he never heard that definition. You're overlock you know, she could never imagine messenger overlock taking a shower or bath with his wife.

01:52:34--> 01:52:36

Because this is a

01:52:39--> 01:52:41

which is not a

01:52:42--> 01:52:57

really, this is from the son of nebulous Allahu Allah, he was sudden, and this is something that a man, and this is why a lot of young Muslim girls, I'm not talking about Somalis. A lot of Muslim girls, they, you know, some kind of law.

01:52:58--> 01:53:01

I was reading one of the situation.

01:53:04--> 01:53:07

The lady, she was not from

01:53:09--> 01:53:13

this lady, she was married 15 years.

01:53:14--> 01:53:15

15 years.

01:53:17--> 01:53:28

She's married to this man for 15 years. She was never married before. So she doesn't know anything about intimacy other than what this man introduced to her.

01:53:29--> 01:53:31

So he came to the west.

01:53:32--> 01:53:41

She went to school, I want to go, I want to do something. So she was in school. She met this white man

01:53:42--> 01:53:43

by Captain America.

01:53:44--> 01:53:52

And she thought you know, I can practice my language with this man. You know, we we are just friends and they were not practicing.

01:53:54--> 01:53:56

Next thing that, you know,

01:53:57--> 01:53:57

this man

01:53:59--> 01:54:01

committed Zina or she can do with this man.

01:54:03--> 01:54:09

But that the sin of Xena is massive. is good. It's huge.

01:54:10--> 01:54:13

Paul was bigger and worse than that.

01:54:15--> 01:54:18

She never wanted to go back to her husband.

01:54:21--> 01:54:27

She said I didn't know that marriage could be this enjoyable.

01:54:30--> 01:54:35

It can never be because in her mind, the man does what he has to do them customers Asara.

01:54:39--> 01:54:41

For her, this is what she knew.

01:54:43--> 01:54:47

Now look, this man, of course is responsible.

01:54:49--> 01:54:59

A lady came to America and listened to this is very unique. lady came to me to go hop up on T shirts. And she said, Yeah, I mean, she

01:55:00--> 01:55:02

Sell, or Amira meaning?

01:55:03--> 01:55:06

My husband? My husband

01:55:07--> 01:55:08

how one so one

01:55:10--> 01:55:21

my husband Masha Allah, a one every single night his bank family, which is excellent. And we pass it every single day. And we're gonna Harvey said, Well,

01:55:23--> 01:55:30

this is an excellent man, a righteous man that we've married my blessing. And the lady. She felt shy. What can she say?

01:55:32--> 01:55:33

to do his job?

01:55:35--> 01:55:48

So one of the she came complaining, not praising her husband. She said, What is his quote? He said what she's complaining about. He said, she said her husband does not give her her rights.

01:55:50--> 01:55:50

And almost said,

01:55:52--> 01:55:55

Is it true what he said? She said, Yes, of course.

01:55:56--> 01:55:57

So the man

01:56:00--> 01:56:01

he judged

01:56:02--> 01:56:08

that this man should give his wife her rights once every four days.

01:56:09--> 01:56:24

once every four days in a table taneous Sara Hema hola it's not true all the time. He said because they need that the spouse have is like the appetite that we have for food

01:56:25--> 01:56:47

my right for food for sleep for Western we are different we all different some of the people for three hours there's still three hours a night Mashallah all full of energy energetic, energetic and so on. Some people they need eight hours, nine hours, some people they have tea this month, some of you this month and this is the same thing

01:56:48--> 01:57:25

is not equal there is no fixed measurement. So the status thing is a lot of people do not concern themselves with this and they assume the doing the best for their wife. We're going to stop here because they said I have to give time for question answers and inshallah we will talk a lot more thing inshallah when we have and I know that much more is the judgment day but perhaps maybe I should talk about the rights that we have over them agree.

01:57:27--> 01:57:28

Do we agree?

01:57:30--> 01:57:33

Yeah, I shall everybody say Yes, Mr. IP said he didn't

01:57:35--> 01:57:36

fight for the questions.

01:57:54--> 01:58:21

If you can kind of sit down on your call if you want to leave me quietly I know you have to go I think the brother said we all have to pray so lots of negative here and we shot a lot in the Salah. There's a lot of waiting for Salah. So if you have to leave you can leave the lead quietly. Otherwise, please be calm because there are those who are sitting who would like to listen to the answers or the questions.

01:58:35--> 01:58:41

You could stop me microphone real typical soccer team a special soccer player or

01:58:42--> 01:58:44

is it a soccer playing in

01:58:55--> 01:59:00

between microphones and other lung learning? So this was a small

01:59:20--> 01:59:21

Of course.

01:59:23--> 01:59:34

When chef musty is here is more suitable to ask the Mufti of Hargeisa especially to benefit from the sheer

01:59:36--> 01:59:39

the since the birth of Java Kelly stepping in as

01:59:40--> 01:59:46

it depends on the title The job of the person who does according to the some of the fatality of

01:59:47--> 01:59:48

others.

01:59:49--> 02:00:00

If the person is dealing with z, lottery, idols, these things, then he is not permitted to work in a similar

02:00:00--> 02:00:00

work environment

02:00:02--> 02:00:12

is dealing other department that sells mobile or hidden things. In this case, he is allowed a new shala would be no problem.

02:00:35--> 02:00:37

Salam Alaikum.

02:00:38--> 02:00:39

I had

02:00:40--> 02:00:41

two questions.

02:00:47--> 02:00:57

One is from the previous lecture we had the other time and then one for you. Just the lecture we have right now. Yeah.

02:00:58--> 02:01:00

The other one is this one for you is

02:01:01--> 02:01:05

you met the girl, you just heard information about her, and

02:01:06--> 02:01:07

you don't have

02:01:08--> 02:01:13

a lot of potential information that you can marry her with? How are you gonna?

02:01:19--> 02:01:28

Is it good question? Very good question. It happens. It happens a lot. A lot of boys. They want to talk to girls

02:01:31--> 02:01:46

that they can afford to get married. They so poor, they have no job. They have no education, their parents can get afford to get them married, but they still want to talk to girls. And the girls are entertaining this, which is worse.

02:02:08--> 02:02:10

Think about her. So

02:02:13--> 02:02:33

in this case, what do you need to do is chill, relax, until you are ready for marriage, then you start looking and remember how long it was in the Muslim ban everything is written before the creation of this earth 50,000 years before the creation of the earth. So nothing would miss you. Now

02:02:37--> 02:02:42

the other question is when she was talking about the Riba, and

02:02:43--> 02:02:59

in this years, you know, we use cards and stuff. And they sometimes when you buy stuff from the shop, and there is little, you know, one two comes down, go buy with the card that is that we were two or

02:03:04--> 02:03:14

I think the best question would be more suitable for the CFO talk about the subject inshallah. So if you wait for the chef, because he's the one who cover the subject. No.

02:03:19--> 02:03:21

That's allamani Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh.

02:03:24--> 02:03:30

Because there are a lot of sisters, they can't be here long without

02:03:32--> 02:03:33

a lot out.

02:03:37--> 02:03:37

There brother.

02:03:40--> 02:03:45

He asked the question, there are a lot of sisters who who came here without a Muharram.

02:03:48--> 02:03:50

And is that alone?

02:03:53--> 02:04:15

Well, I don't have any evidence, any proof from the sun from the Quran and the Sunnah. That is clear, decisive, indicating it is permissible. All the evidence that I know that I have is not allowing them to travel without a Mahara.

02:04:16--> 02:04:20

And there is a reason why the Sharia was strict about

02:04:22--> 02:04:25

not allowing women to travel without a Muharram.

02:04:26--> 02:05:00

Because there's a lot of risks. A lot of risks are the risks that this young lady is taking by traveling by herself. And trust me. I know enough stories that happen that I dealt with. And the reason that all this fitness started is because girls sisters were allowed to travel to a different city to a different country without a Muharram. So we would encourage her was this is enough to travel without a madam and I know you some of you may come on that foot

02:05:00--> 02:05:11

Two out of your pocket, according to the group of a chef, according to the group of 100, according to the group of families, but I would say at the end of the day, according to the Hadith that we have, is not permitted.

02:05:16--> 02:05:30

Next question is, I was my before six months, I have a lot, of course a lot a long experience with that. Can I, my wife? Oh, for sure. We kept on Good job.

02:05:31--> 02:05:34

Can I sit with McDonald's? My wife

02:05:36--> 02:05:38

says McDonald's, Ghana.

02:05:39--> 02:05:42

You see before you can go without

02:05:46--> 02:05:47

any of those.

02:06:00--> 02:06:05

We all know we all know. McDonald's is a cheap restaurant.

02:06:07--> 02:06:46

Right? However, however, it has nothing to do sometimes with how much money you have. Right? It's just as something to do with your taste. If you feel like a fish flay, or fries, or hallel cheeseburger if you can find that, you know, then it's a different story. Take your wife, your mother in law, take them all down for the Langham, but I use it because one of those cheevers show so don't be don't be offended if it's your wife or your husband. diagnose just lick your fingers there Mashallah. Delicious. Don't worry about it was good. Mashallah.

02:06:49--> 02:06:51

So I want to go on to Russia.

02:06:52--> 02:06:54

I want to ask you this question about

02:06:56--> 02:07:05

you mentioned a lot of wives would be grateful to first is your wife. And I want to know which decisions come the mothers and

02:07:07--> 02:07:09

oil was the wife and

02:07:13--> 02:07:14

mother, right?

02:07:18--> 02:07:28

The question is, which of the two had or which one has the more wife, your wife, or your mother?

02:07:29--> 02:07:40

Of course, when it comes to choosing between the two, and I'm talking about a normal situation, of course, the mother has more rights.

02:07:41--> 02:07:59

The reason that I didn't talk about mothers is because the time was had on dating, it was not about the race of the parents. But yes, the mothers have over, you know, they overrule the rights of wives are strong. The mother's not asking for something that is hard on the law.

02:08:13--> 02:08:22

There's a written question, it says, Is it good? Is it good for the relationship to have a long distance relationship?

02:08:24--> 02:08:56

I do not encourage and I don't think it's a good idea to have long relationship, this relationship or two, I mean, you also have to understand if the situation dictate and you have no choice and say in the situation, and they have to be a part is one thing, but if you can afford to be together, I would say you should be together because long distance is never helpful in any relationship Allah Allah Juana.

02:08:58--> 02:09:00

Last question, last two questions, inshallah.

02:09:02--> 02:09:20

This question is connecting to the other one, the wife, what is her like duty upon her husband? We'll come to in concert to the pub to appeal the first minute, right there, right. Okay. This is the right

02:09:22--> 02:09:34

husband has more rights over the wife than her father. So if the husband says one thing and the father says one thing, then the husband should be obeyed.

02:09:35--> 02:09:43

In the case of wife and mother, and the mother has more authority and more wife over the wife. Now, next question.

02:09:53--> 02:09:59

I want to ask the question about me and my friends. We were concerned about

02:10:00--> 02:10:04

If you want to take another date, but want to get know

02:10:06--> 02:10:28

a potential future girl, and then if you go here to help parents, and you want to ask the following permission to talk to the lady, but if you do that, the lady will think you are loser, because of the Western Saraswathi and the father will also laugh at you and say, would say, how Donna Celica.

02:10:31--> 02:10:33

So, what do you do in that situation?

02:10:34--> 02:10:37

In this situation, I will say listen to

02:10:38--> 02:10:40

the Herald dating power one.

02:10:42--> 02:10:56

However, it is a dilemma. It is a dilemma. Young people wants to get to know one another. But the parents are making very difficult and the society is making very difficult.

02:10:57--> 02:11:12

And again, if the young lady, this is her mentality, I would say you must reconsider the situation of being with that girl because if this is the way she's thinking, then this is not an Islamic way of thinking we're long.

02:11:23--> 02:11:24

smilla

02:11:26--> 02:11:27

sala

02:11:30--> 02:11:32

de la de Sala Salam

02:11:38--> 02:11:39

ala cusabo.

02:11:41--> 02:11:42

Alia koralia

02:12:02--> 02:12:03

Hello sir.

02:12:07--> 02:12:10

How are you the BC AI or Monte?

02:12:11--> 02:12:18

hotkey, and watanuki Ocelot is shallot Allah Khuda Mahdi