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Islamic Marriage Are You Ready

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Said Rageah

Channel: Said Rageah

Series:

Episode Notes

Episode Transcript

© No part of this transcript may be copied or referenced or transmitted in any way whatsoever. Transcripts are auto-generated and thus will be be inaccurate. We are working on a system to allow volunteers to edit transcripts in a controlled system.


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Men who want to study and who want to sell film.

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wonder who the winner he mysuru Leon fusina woman say, Dr. Medina.

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Maria de la palma tedwomen Yorba Linda Ferranti Geeta who Wadi and murshida

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Why should you Wanda Illallah? Wa hola Sheree Kara

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wash Mohammed Abu hora solo

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yeah you had Latina Armand otaku Maha Pato party he was in LA one two Muslim moon

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yeah you anassa Taco Bell como una de hakomi nevsun wahida

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wahala caminhar Zaha

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y but the main humare Jalan kathira, one Isa

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what taco la la de de Luna v one or ham. In aloha Canada eco Marathi Eva

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Johan Latina Manu taco la hora de de de la cama Malecon,

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way of camino Baku woman

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on a whim,

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ameba.

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alamanda failed Columbia Columbia Law

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widen howdy howdy Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam

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was Sharla no more data to her wakulla 13 better work better at in Walla Walla Walla TV Now

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usually, in a similar setting.

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When we talking about marriage,

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we usually like to talk about it from a different angle,

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which is encouraging young people to get married.

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And I remember the statement of my beloved brother, Allah

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when he said but by the end of this session all of you will be get would be married. I don't know what after my session, you know, all of us have had some divorce or whatever.

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Now, I'm not going to sugarcoat

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I'm going to give it to you as there is

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also honey

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with Hardee's if you say hello how are you a Muslim otaku nanny

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with unkempt hair

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came to the city of Medina on a cam

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and then when he reached the mercy of the Nabi sallallahu alayhi wa sallam.

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He got off his camel.

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And he released the camel.

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And he walked to the mercy and he stood at the door of the mystery

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for her and even harsh

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words, this man

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he's talking about Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam,

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the Sahaba out of respect.

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They look towards the messenger over loss on the last one he was sending them.

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And the messenger overload was reclining.

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And he said,

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Look, I'm right here. I respond.

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And then a man came

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walking over the shoulders typical of the shoulder of the Sahaba.

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And he started from the messenger over law.

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And he said to him,

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Are you the one that I'm looking for? He said yes.

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And he said,

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For in nissa t Look, I'm asking you a question

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when we shall be done, but I'll be very stern, very harsh.

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When I'm asking a question when I'm addressing you, I will not speak softer to you.

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So do not find anything in your heart towards me.

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So the messenger over life smile. And he said proceed. Go ahead.

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So he asked questions.

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The reason that I quote this hadith is

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I am not going to issue a call today.

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And I'm going to be harsh. And I'm going to be hard and I'm going to be realistic about marriage. So if you want to cry, or if you want to complain, or if you're too sensitive Lee, if you are mad and you can handle it. Then be seated and keep smiling and keep taking it in

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now

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the time of

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This lecture is are you ready? Am I right?

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You're not ready, I'm telling you that you are not ready. For those of you who are single, you're not ready.

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Most of you are not ready.

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being ready, what does it mean?

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Yeah, so you guys,

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all of you, number one,

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you see this marriage thing as a fairy tale

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happily ever after, in one of those movies, you know, or Disney World, which shows that all he will fall in love with her, and then she will fall in love with him, and the little problem happens, and then they will separate from one another, and then she will cry and he start writing a poem and boredom, Mohammed will be off the list, and then all this and then later on, he comes and they meet once again and they you know, live ever, ever happily ever after. This is not married.

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This is not how marriage is going to be. I am telling you.

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I have been married over 17 years. And whatever Hollywood tells you is a lie. So take them.

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Number one.

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Are you ready?

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See how do you know whether you're ready or not?

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You will know if you are responsible.

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And you are responsible of yourself. Then I will say perhaps you can take the responsibility of someone else. Because marriage means you are self sufficient first. And then you go out of your way and you take a responsibility of someone else and you will be able to handle the responsibility of yourself and the responsibility of someone else. If you only take one I take one wife. If you want to take four wives alone, what do you say Vidya Don't call me when you're drowning, you know,

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now

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the Sahaba of the Messenger of Allah, messenger overlocking and the people who are running the messenger overlong they were all young

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Zubaydah Manawa

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Zubaydah now

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when he accepted when he was next to the messenger overlock he was 15 years old.

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When his best friend accepted his snom though having obeyed the law, he was 16 years old.

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When sad may not be workhorse, son, then everyone counts. When he came and he said, I am supporting your messenger overlong he was 17 years old.

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Keep that keep that in mind. I mean?

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I mean, I will.

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Now everybody we know when we're studying the seal of the messenger overlock

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that the Messenger of Allah did not trust hands him

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did not go to the hands of a backer Cydia

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did not take his student to the house of our party. But he trusted our company outcome. And he took his students the Sahaba to the house of alchemy outcome, because he knew this young man is responsible. And guess how old was our company? I mean 16 years old.

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When the messenger overlaps, and I'm bringing the whole oma to you to your house, and no one should know about it, and no one should speak about and everything that we say stays in this house, and your house is the shelter that will protect the oma in a wooded II trust 16 years old kid, and

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then I will come because he was responsible.

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He was a man.

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Imagine that now 16 years old kid nowadays, what do we do with them? We babysit them.

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We babysit them.

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Right?

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We tell them did you do your homework?

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video, or I didn't do it. Why not? I was busy.

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What is their concern? The biggest concern that they have is BlackBerry's

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You know, I'm text messaging someone.

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I'm busy with my friends.

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16 years old,

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when an outcome and the outcome was responsible for the oma, and you want to call his house was the CIA of Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wasallam. I mean, there was the Intelligence Center of all the information used to come to the house, and our common habit. If the Messenger of Allah wants to do something, it would happen in the house of this young man who's 16 years old.

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Because he was, he was responsible in that

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segment.

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They'd been assigned.

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You know, he carried his sword.

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And he, you know, put on his arm.

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And he went to the Messenger of Allah, and also lies talking to them who died in the Battle of Babel, before they need, and he's getting everybody ready. And they been stabbed. He says, I'm ready on messenger over law. And he looked at him, were you thinking you're going, he said, You're the sort of law I cannot be missed today. I want to be part of this.

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He said you only 13 years old.

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Go to your mother.

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And then they comes leaves, that field leaves the messenger of a law, you know, in his head is dangling between his shoulders, is you know, dragging his sword in one hand. And the other hand, his armor is dragging his feet walking towards his mother feeling that he's disgraced because the messenger over law did nothing that he is responsible enough. And then he went his mother crying. And I say, Mom, you know, my mother said the messenger overlord rejected me.

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She said, Son,

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there are other ways that you can support and help this

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isn't like what? She said, Can you write what can you do is I can write a read. She said, what you should sit under the messenger over law and write down the one

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thread 13 years old.

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Was he ready to write down the Koran

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coming from a law degree, a man in the hands of 13 years old kid responsible. This is responsibility.

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He's a you know what, I can also learn language. And he learned an Iranian here and the Syrian ear. He said, I don't want anyone to tell the messenger overlock or to translate information from the other people incorrectly. I'll be there. And she said the day that you ready, young go

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13 years? What do you feel

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now? As a 13 year old kid? Is You ready?

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Is he ready to write the Koran that is already preserved? There is no mistake. If he asked him to copy one page from the other side of him. Is this a child abuse? You know, one page of reassign him is a child abuse?

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mentality a completely different

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than being

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14 years old? His brother, no 13 years old. They were big. They came he said where are you going? He said, I'm going to messenger Allah. He said Where do you fit enough? Come? Who do they kill?

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Who have who gentlemen? I mean, that was the

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hero of the oma. It wasn't like you know, I'm gonna simple guy

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was a Campbell by himself. I mean, the guy was huge. It was big. And then when they realize and in the call, obviously, this is on my side, and I'm thinking, oh my god, I need someone more stronger. You know, as soon as I turn my face away from this case, somebody is going to come from this side to attack me. I need someone to protect me. And I'm saying this to myself. And this one of the cases Yeah.

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Do you know

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I sent him your sob. young boy. When you come from Abuja. He is the chief of the horse. He's the owner of this oma, you know, what do you want from him?

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He said, I wanna kill him.

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Subhana Allah, you 13 years old kid. And he said, Why? He said, because I heard nothing that I saw. Now that I know for a fact, I heard that he used to insult the Messenger of Allah. When he was in Makkah Salama when he was done. I want to do this for the messenger or

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Long 13 years old kid.

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I said as soon as that boy was dumped with me, the other boy did the same thing.

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Our kids

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are they ready for responsibility? The answer is no.

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Are they ready? Are you ready for marriage? The responsibility is heavy The answer is no.

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Do you know that? Um, Robin asked when he had his first baby born his son, you know, how old was he?

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How old was he? 11 years old.

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He was a farmer by the age of 11.

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Ha, you tell these kids, why don't you mind your little sibling, your brother Take care and I'll be back.

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If the boy is not being you know, put in a microwave or in the dryer of the world and Chinese now that we should say on hamdulillah that he kept his sibling a life.

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See and hamdulillah

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see kids nowadays, you know, they got aged 2018 1925 they know ready for marriage.

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They're now ready. Look at the girls look at the sisters.

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Masha Allah,

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she's willing to dress up for the occasion.

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She's willing to come out dress like a full grown lady. You know Mashallah red lipstick, if lipstick is not available, you know chapstick, chapstick is not available, Vaseline from dollarama is available and hamdulillah if none of that is available, she come up you know all makeup and all this and she she she goes and she buys you know, high heeled shoes from Payless shoe price and he comes? No.

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She physically she may be ready. But is she mentally ready?

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The highest divorce nowadays in the Muslim countries and in the West is worse.

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You know, in Kuwait is 79% 79% do you have the lowest, you know, percentage? Saudi Can you imagine that?

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You know, everyone was trying to be like to be westernized. They're the percentage is high in the wealth, Mashallah sisters and brothers, they got married a year or two, a lot of awkward, she's recycling someone else, and he's recycling another lady.

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Why? Because the responsibility is not there.

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That day that we think the responsible you think you're responsible is the date number one, that you take care of yourself, and those who are around you.

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That day, that you don't have to, you know, you don't need someone to say you know, clean your room. Fix your bed, do your homework. Oh, by the way, get cut your hair, this Afro of yours. That Mashallah, if you hide if you want to hide a wild cat, you can hide a wild card, there will lie if you want to smuggle marijuana or something marshadow the perfect place. If you want to go ahead.

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You know, the day that you become responsible is the day that you say to yourself, the day that you say to yourself, I can take care of my family. I can you know, my father is getting old. He's been driving, you know, taxi, you know, 12 hours a day. You know, I finished my school, and hamdulillah you know, I am going to work full time. I'm gonna say to my father, just relax. You've been working for 18 years, for 20 years for us for 25 years for us. today. I am the man of the house. today. I am your son. today. I'll take care of you. I'll take care of my mother. I'll take care of my siblings. I'll be the first one that you will be proud of. I'll be your son that you always want to relax. Do

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they do that today?

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No.

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As a matter of fact, you know at the beginning of the month, dad, where's my you know, bus pass?

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Are you 29 years old? Go get a job. You know, who's gonna hire even more than one hire you 29 is what they were expecting. Do you have well I've been watching all NBA Finals. I've been doing this you know?

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No. So

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See, only then you'll be responsible.

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If you're a man, women are funny, guys. Women are strange. You know, women he can never, you know, they they had this book, they came up with the book.

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And the book is 124,000 page. And they called perfect book for women.

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If you want to understand women, you right you read this book 124,000 page, you can never understand them ever. So if you think marriage is what you see in Hollywood, and everything is sweet and nice is not as a man, you need to be wise. You need to have hekla you need to have, you know, enough

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or hikma that you're able to do see us?

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You know, you need to be able to do okay, she's mad. I don't know why she's mad. But on hamdulillah she's mad, you know? And you said, Honey, you mad? Why are you mad? You know, you should know. Okay, I just came back for more. I don't know why you mad? Would you please tell me? And then she'd be more mad at you a rookie. And you don't know why she's mad? Simply because you will know why she's mad, then you get in more trouble. You standing on a quicksand. So what do you do the best policies? And I always say, What are you doing? I

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apologize first, honey, how was my fault? How can I do this? You know, I am so sorry. What did they do? Just tell me? You know, what did I do? Well, you didn't do this. So you say I'm sorry.

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young guys.

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They don't understand.

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And they won't be they won't. They won't understand why. Because, number one, the response that I'm not talking 100% I'm talking about most of the young guys, their responsibility concept is missing.

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Young ladies look at yourself. And your mother is still cooking, cleaning. You know, getting your siblings ready for school. You know, mining, the chores are doing the chores of the house, then you are not ready for marriage. You're not ready for marriage. If you don't know how to put your kids, to your siblings to bath time to feed them time to help them with this school time. You are now ready for marriage, you know.

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Now,

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I understand it's not your fault.

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I understand the society and your parents. You know, most of the parents, you know we neglected you is true. But it's never too late. You can always redeem yourself, you can always come back and be a decent young person. If you want to do this, then you can do the following brothers, I'm going to give you five tips. This isn't giving you five tips as well. First,

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if you want to prepare yourself

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understand the mirror is a bad

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and the nature of a bad It means is a hardship involve.

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You want to perform Salah five daily prayers, they're all there is a hardship that is involved. You got to get up early in the morning. You got to you know, leave your house or Salatin, you got to dress up you got to drive to the masjid and pray a bad marriage is also a bad because it's a bad. Everything that you do is should be something that you do for the sake of a law. And your wife is not in a good mood. You don't say she's not in a good mood and who cares? You should say you know, if I put a smile on her face is a bad for me. Is agile for me. So take this project as a bad project. Not you know, it's her turn to make me happy. I meant happy. No.

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Number two, understand the psychology of women.

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They say color is completely though is not the way we think. For example,

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if you are married

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and you go and you buy, see the way they count things are different. The way they count things are different.

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You go out of your way and you Mashallah you borrow 10,000 you say brother, sorry, can you lend me 10,000? I will say no, because I don't have it but

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Then you go to the next guy, and then you say can I have 10,000? He said okay, Mashallah. And then 10,000 Boehner Mashallah 15,000 and hamdulillah you know you go there

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and then you say you know what? And you buy a nice you know 2011 Lexus and say honey, the license plate says I love you

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the keys now as a man you think you did something great my right i mean you you what you bent backwards You did your best but for them there's only one

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if you buy her Lexus with all that hardship and buy a flower that is one and this is one

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no this is this is reality. That's our human that's how they think for men. If you buy me you know Mashallah some nice car. I will remember you even in my grade.

00:26:01--> 00:26:12

I will remember you just give me that Lexus and I'll tell you it's a mannequin you know, Mulliken, Modi, Allah forgive him. What about your hand? Yeah, later on in Sharla. You know, I will remember you for women is different.

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Their mentality is completely different.

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So if you think this is how they work, then you wrong because in her calculation, you did one good thing. Car one more good thing flower. One dinner three. So you have three points. You have three points. They don't look at the size

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number three,

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we only have four minutes not 10 minutes for me.

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Number three

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what the other thing is, don't ever shoot it like a man

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don't expect her to be like your friend. Like you me and we can you know get into an argument distribute with certain things. Mashallah, what do you like from Tim Hortons? We still brothers, then is Palestine and you hold

00:27:08--> 00:27:30

they don't get along he you need peace conference, you need, you know, settlement, you need all us to bring everything to the table once again. So, don't never ever treat them. Like they are us. They are different. They're different creatures. different species different. Mashallah differently. Complete.

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Number four.

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Whatever happens is your fault.

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Now, I'm not gonna lie, I'm not kidding. Whatever happens is your fault. If you if she gets into accident,

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then in somewhere in Mississauga, and you here working is your fault, because you didn't drive her there. It's your mistake.

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Last but not least, and this is important. So again, everything that happens is your for the sandwich ship lunches, I lost our you know, I'll leave you with four things because the fifth I forgot I swallow. And I have how many minutes left?

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I have two minutes left. Now.

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The five for the sisters.

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Sisters, number one. I will say a bad marriage is a bad

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number to your husband is nothing but a big baby. So shooting like a big, fat, ugly baby.

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Babies are cute, you can kiss them, you can hug them, you can cuddle them. You know, men are not like that, you know, all hairy and all that, you know.

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The mentality of men is different than the mentality of women.

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And in based on the human psychology, would they tell you men are different? 20s What do they look for?

00:29:05--> 00:29:12

physical appearance. Men at the age from 20s they looking for a lady who's half

00:29:13--> 00:29:15

lady does my gorgeous

00:29:17--> 00:29:55

30s they look for someone who's intellectual, someone that they can sit and talk to someone that they say, you know, I have been having this problem. You know, with my boss. I'm having this problem with my father. You know, what do you think they need someone you know, he's the man is like concerned and he's worried about his job. He's worried about the family. And he wants to talk to her and she's peeling potatoes and saying you know the baby You know, he in it day I changed 15 diapers that age 30 or after 40 that's not what they hear. They want to hear someone who can they can conversate with

00:29:56--> 00:29:59

40 and or men or

00:30:00--> 00:30:03

looking for someone who will take care of them?

00:30:04--> 00:30:14

Who cook for them? Who will feed them, who are clean for them? Who will make sure someone who makes sure that he is enjoying his life?

00:30:15--> 00:30:26

These are the things that how men and women things shala I supposed to be doing more inshallah, but my time is up so superantispyware as I tell myself almost 100 a day

00:30:32--> 00:30:34

if you say hello, how are you a Muslim Matata finale

00:30:36--> 00:30:38

with unkempt hair

00:30:40--> 00:30:43

came to the city of Medina on a camel.

00:30:45--> 00:30:49

And then when he reached the mercy of the Navy, he was telling them

00:30:51--> 00:30:52

he got off his camel.

00:30:54--> 00:30:55

And he released the candle.

00:30:57--> 00:31:00

And he walked through the mercy and he stood at the door of the masjid

00:31:02--> 00:31:03

for her and even harsh

00:31:05--> 00:31:06

words, this man

00:31:08--> 00:31:11

he's talking about Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam

00:31:12--> 00:31:15

the Sahaba respect.

00:31:16--> 00:31:20

They look towards the messenger over loss of the law, and he will send them

00:31:23--> 00:31:25

and the messenger over law was reclining.

00:31:27--> 00:31:28

And he said

00:31:29--> 00:31:33

adaptiq on right here, I respond.

00:31:35--> 00:31:37

And then a man came

00:31:38--> 00:31:43

walking over the shoulder stepping over the shoulder of the Sahaba.

00:31:44--> 00:31:46

And he started from the messenger over law.

00:31:47--> 00:31:49

And he said to him,

00:31:50--> 00:31:53

Are you the one that I'm looking for? He said yes.

00:31:55--> 00:31:56

And he said,

00:31:57--> 00:32:00

for me, sir. Look, I'm asking you a question.

00:32:02--> 00:32:06

What should they do? But I'll be very stern, very harsh.

00:32:07--> 00:32:12

When I'm asking question when I'm addressing you, I will not speak softer to you.

00:32:13--> 00:32:16

So do not find anything in your heart towards me.

00:32:18--> 00:32:22

So the messenger overlying smile. And he said proceed. Go ahead.

00:32:24--> 00:32:25

So he asked questions.

00:32:26--> 00:32:29

The reason that I call this howdy is

00:32:30--> 00:32:32

I am not going to shoot a call today.

00:32:33--> 00:32:56

And I'm going to be harsh. And I'm going to be hard. And I'm going to be realistic about marriage. So if you want to cry, or if you want to complain, or if you're too sensitive, Lee, if you're a man, and you can handle it, then be seated and keep smiling. And keep taking it in

00:32:57--> 00:32:57

now,

00:32:58--> 00:33:03

the title of this lecture is are you ready? Am I right?

00:33:05--> 00:33:12

You're not ready, I'm telling you that you are not ready. For those of you who are single, you're not ready.

00:33:14--> 00:33:15

Most of you are not ready.

00:33:17--> 00:33:19

being ready. What does it mean?

00:33:20--> 00:33:22

Yeah, so you guys,

00:33:23--> 00:33:25

all of you, number one.

00:33:26--> 00:33:31

You see this marriage thing as a fairy tale

00:33:32--> 00:34:00

happily ever after, in one of those movies, you know, or Disney World shows that all he will fall in love with her and then she will fall in love with him and the little problem happens and then they will separate from one another and then she will cry and he start writing a poem and bottom of the list. And then all this and then later on he comes and they meet once again and they you know live ever, ever happily ever after that this is not married.

00:34:02--> 00:34:07

This is not how marriage is going to be. I am telling you.

00:34:08--> 00:34:18

I have been married over 17 years. And whatever Hollywood tells you is a lie. So take them.

00:34:19--> 00:34:20

Number one.

00:34:21--> 00:34:22

Are you ready?

00:34:24--> 00:34:27

See how do you know whether you're ready or not?

00:34:30--> 00:34:32

You will know if you're responsible.

00:34:34--> 00:34:59

And you are responsible of yourself. Then I will say perhaps you can take the responsibility of someone else. Because marriage means you are self sufficient first. And then you go out of your way and you take a responsibility of someone else and you will

00:35:00--> 00:35:15

Be able to handle the responsibility of yourself and the responsibility of someone else. If you only take one I take one wife, if you want to take four wives, Allahu Akbar, do you majority cebelia Don't call me when you're drowning, you know?

00:35:16--> 00:35:17

Now

00:35:20--> 00:35:31

the Sahaba of the Messenger of Allah, messenger overlocking and the people who are running the messenger overlong they were all young

00:35:34--> 00:35:35

zevalin our

00:35:37--> 00:35:38

Zubaydah now,

00:35:39--> 00:35:46

when he accepted when he was next to the mission over law, he was 15 years old.

00:35:48--> 00:35:55

When his best friend accepted his snom bohemian obey the law. He was 16 years old.

00:35:56--> 00:36:08

When sad when Abby was sad, when Avi walkins when he came and he said, I am supporting your mission, your Overlord, he was 17 years old.

00:36:10--> 00:36:12

Keep that keep that in mind. I mean,

00:36:14--> 00:36:15

I mean, I will.

00:36:16--> 00:36:21

Now everybody we know when we studying the seal of the Messenger of Allah

00:36:23--> 00:36:27

that the Messenger of Allah did not trust Penza.

00:36:28--> 00:36:31

You know, go to the hands of a backer is Cydia

00:36:32--> 00:36:38

did not take his student to the house of our party. But he trusted our company.

00:36:40--> 00:36:55

And he took his student the Sahaba to the house of alchemy, I will come because he knew this young man is responsible. And guess how always are coming. I mean, I'm 16 years old.

00:36:57--> 00:37:18

When the messenger overlaps, and I'm bringing the whole oma to you to your house, and no one should know about it. And no one should speak a bomb. And everything that we say stays in this house, and your house is the shelter that will protect the oma, you know, what did he trust? 16 years old kid, and

00:37:19--> 00:37:23

then I will come because he was responsible.

00:37:24--> 00:37:25

He was a man.

00:37:28--> 00:37:34

Imagine that now 16 years old kid nowadays, what do we do with them? We babysit them?

00:37:36--> 00:37:37

We babysit them.

00:37:38--> 00:37:38

Right?

00:37:40--> 00:37:42

We tell them did you do your homework?

00:37:44--> 00:37:47

Then you are I didn't do it? Why not? I was busy.

00:37:48--> 00:37:53

What is their concern? The biggest concern that they have is BlackBerry's

00:37:54--> 00:37:56

You know, I'm text messaging someone.

00:37:57--> 00:38:01

I'm busy with my friends. 16 years old,

00:38:02--> 00:38:28

when an upcoming outcome was responsible for the oma and you want to call his house was the CIA of Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wasallam. I mean, there was the Intelligence Center of all the information used to come to the house and our common habit, as the Messenger of Allah wants to do something, it would happen in the house of this young man 16 years old.

00:38:31--> 00:38:33

Because he was, he was responsible now.

00:38:34--> 00:38:36

Zegna Samet.

00:38:38--> 00:38:39

They've been a fan.

00:38:40--> 00:38:42

You know, he carried his sword.

00:38:43--> 00:38:46

And he, you know, put on his arm.

00:38:47--> 00:39:09

And he went to the Messenger of Allah, and also lies talking to them who died in the Battle of Babel, before they need, and he's getting everybody ready and say, when he says, I'm ready on messenger over law, and he looked at him, were you thinking you're going, he said, yada, yada lon? I cannot be missed today. I want to be part of this.

00:39:10--> 00:39:13

He said you only 13 years old.

00:39:15--> 00:39:16

Go to your mother.

00:39:17--> 00:39:45

And then Jake comes leaves that field leaves the messenger over law, you know, in his head is dangling between his shoulders, his you know, dragging his sword in one hand and the other hand, his armor is dragging his feet walking towards his mother feeling that he's disgraced because the messenger overlock did nothing that he is responsible enough. And then he went his mother crying and I say mom, you know, my mother said the messenger of alarm rejected me.

00:39:47--> 00:39:48

She said Son,

00:39:50--> 00:39:54

there are other ways that you can support and help is

00:39:56--> 00:39:59

is there like what? She said? Can you write what can you do? Is it

00:40:00--> 00:40:04

can write a read. She said, Well, you should sit on the messenger over law and write down the

00:40:07--> 00:40:09

13 years old.

00:40:10--> 00:40:13

Was he ready to write down the Koran?

00:40:15--> 00:40:17

Coming from a law degree

00:40:18--> 00:40:25

in the hands of 13 years old kid responsible. This is responsibility.

00:40:27--> 00:40:41

He said, You know what, I can also learn language. And he learned an Iranian here even and the Syrian ear. He said I don't want anyone to tell the messenger overlock or to translate information from the other people incorrectly are be there.

00:40:42--> 00:40:45

And she said the day that you ready your goal.

00:40:46--> 00:40:54

13 years, what do you feel now? Now as a 13 year old kid, is you ready?

00:40:55--> 00:41:11

Is he ready to write the Koran that is already preserved? There is no mistake. If he asked him to copy one page from the other side of him, is this a child abuse? You know, one page every other side of him is a child abuse.

00:41:14--> 00:41:16

mentality a completely different

00:41:17--> 00:41:19

man. When I'm

00:41:22--> 00:41:40

14 years old, his brother, mo 13 years old. They were big. They came, they were sold. So where are you going? He said, I'm going to messenger overload. He said what do you fit enough come? Who do they kill?

00:41:41--> 00:41:42

Who

00:41:44--> 00:41:51

I mean, that was the fear of the oma Hero's Journey wasn't like, you know, I'm gonna symbol guy

00:41:53--> 00:42:21

was a camel by himself. I mean, the guy was huge. It was big. And then when they realize and in the call, obviously, this is on my side, and I'm thinking, oh my god, I need someone more stronger. You know, as soon as I turn my face away from this case, somebody's gonna come from this side to attack me. I need someone to protect me. I know. I'm saying this to myself. And this is one of the cases Yeah.

00:42:22--> 00:42:23

Do you know

00:42:25--> 00:42:37

searched him Yahoo Nam sabi. youngboy. When you come from Abuja, he's the chief of the Horace. He's the owner of this oma, you know, what do you want from him?

00:42:38--> 00:43:03

He said, I wanna kill him. So Han Allah, you 13 years old kid. And he said, Why? He said, because I heard Not that I saw. Now that I know for a fact, I heard that he used to insult the Messenger of Allah when he was in Makkah. salamati he was, I want to do this for the messenger. overlock 3013 years old kid.

00:43:05--> 00:43:08

I said as soon as that boy was dealt with me, the other boy did the same thing.

00:43:09--> 00:43:10

Our kids

00:43:12--> 00:43:17

are they ready? For responsibility? The answer is no.

00:43:19--> 00:43:26

Are they ready? Are you ready for marriage? The responsibility is heavy. The answer is no.

00:43:27--> 00:43:37

Do you know that? Um, Robin asked when he had his first baby born his son. You know how old was he? So?

00:43:40--> 00:43:43

How old was he? 11 years old.

00:43:45--> 00:43:47

He was a farmer by the age of 11.

00:43:49--> 00:44:08

Ha you tell this kids, why don't you mind your little sibling, your brother Take care and I'll be back. If the boy is not being you know, put in a microwave or in the dryer of the void and Chinese now that we should see on hamdulillah that he kept his sibling a life.

00:44:09--> 00:44:11

See and hamdulillah

00:44:12--> 00:44:24

see kids nowadays, you know, they got aged 2018 1925 they now are ready for marriage.

00:44:26--> 00:44:30

They're now ready. Look at the girls look at the sisters.

00:44:31--> 00:44:32

Man, Masha Allah.

00:44:33--> 00:44:37

She's willing to dress up for the occasion.

00:44:38--> 00:44:59

She's willing to come out dress like a full grown lady. You know Mashallah red lipstick. If lipstick is not available, you know chapstick, chapstick is not available. Vaseline from dollarama is available. And hamdulillah if none of that is available, she come up, you know all makeup and all this and she she goes

00:45:00--> 00:45:05

As he buys you know high heeled shoes from Payless shoe price under he comes now

00:45:07--> 00:45:11

she physically she may be ready, but is she mentally ready?

00:45:13--> 00:45:22

The highest divorce nowadays in the Muslim countries and in the West is worse

00:45:23--> 00:45:36

you know, in Kuwait is 79% 79% do you have the lowest, you know percentage Saudi Can you imagine that?

00:45:38--> 00:45:55

You know, everyone was trying to be like to be westernized their the percentage is high in the wealth Mashallah sisters and brothers, they got married a year or two Allah laquan she's reciting someone else and he's recycling another lady.

00:45:57--> 00:45:59

Why? Because the responsibility is not

00:46:01--> 00:46:12

the day that we think the responsible you think you're responsible is the date number one, that you take care of yourself and those who are around you.

00:46:14--> 00:46:40

The day that you don't have to, you know, you don't need someone to say, you know, clean your room. Fix your bed. Do your home. Oh, by the way, yeah, cut your hair, this Afro of yours. That Mashallah, if you hide, if you want to hide a wild cat, you can hide a wild card, there will lie if you want to smuggle marijuana or something marshadow the perfect place. If you want to go ahead.

00:46:41--> 00:47:32

You know, the day that you become responsible is the day that you say to yourself, the day that you say to yourself, I can take care of my family. I can you know, my father is getting old. He's been driving, you know, taxi, you know, 12 hours a day. You know, I finished my school and handed in law, you know, I am going to work full time, I'm going to say to my father, just relax. He'd been working for 18 years, for 20 years for us for 25 years for today. I am the man of the house. today. I am your son today. I'll take care of you. I'll take care of my mother. I'll take care of my siblings. I'll be the first one that you will be proud of. I'll be this your son that you always want to

00:47:32--> 00:47:35

relax. Do they do that today?

00:47:36--> 00:47:37

No.

00:47:38--> 00:47:43

As a matter of fact, you know, at the beginning of the month that dad, where's my you know, bus pass?

00:47:44--> 00:47:57

You're 29 years old. Go get a job. You know, who's gonna hire even Tim was one iE 29 is what they were expecting. Do you have? Well, I've been watching all NBA Finals. I've been doing this, you know?

00:47:58--> 00:48:03

No, see, only then you'll be responsible.

00:48:04--> 00:48:15

If you're a man, women are funny, guys. Women are strange. You know, women, you can never, you know, they had this book. They came up with the book.

00:48:16--> 00:48:23

And the book is 124,000 page on the called perfect book for women.

00:48:24--> 00:48:50

If you want to understand women, you right you read this book 124,000 page. You can never understand them ever. So if you think marriage is what do you see in Hollywood and everything is sweet and nice is not as a man, you need to be wise. You need to have hekla you need to have you know enough

00:48:52--> 00:48:55

or Heckman that you're able to do see us.

00:48:56--> 00:49:31

You know you need to be able to do okay, she's mad. I don't know why she's mad. But on hamdulillah she's mad, you know? And you said, Honey, you mad? Why are you mad? You know, you should know? Okay, I just came back for more. I don't know why you mad? Would you please tell me? And then she'd be more mad at you a rookie. And you don't know why she's mad? Simply because you will know why she's mad. Then you get in more trouble. You standing on a quicksand. So what do you do the best policies? And I always say what do you do?

00:49:34--> 00:49:46

Apologize first, honey, how was my fault? How can I do this? You know, I am so sorry. What did they do? Just tell me. You know, what did I do? Well, you didn't do this. So you say I'm sorry.

00:49:48--> 00:49:48

young guys.

00:49:50--> 00:49:51

They don't understand this.

00:49:52--> 00:49:59

And they won't be they won't. They won't understand why. Because, number one, the response and I'm not talking 100

00:50:00--> 00:50:06

percent. I'm talking about most of the young guys, their responsibility concept is missing.

00:50:08--> 00:50:41

Young ladies look at yourself. And your mother is still cooking, cleaning, you know, getting your siblings ready for school, you know, mining the chores or doing the chores of the house, then you are not ready for marriage. You're not ready for marriage. If you don't know how to put your kids, to your siblings to bed, time to feed them time to help them with the school time. You are now ready for marriage, you know?

00:50:43--> 00:50:44

Now,

00:50:45--> 00:50:47

I understand it's not your fault.

00:50:48--> 00:51:16

I understand the society and your parents. You know, most of the parents, you know, we neglected you is true, but it's never too late. You can always redeem yourself, you can always come back and be a decent young person. If you want to do this, then you can do the following brothers. I'm going to give you a five tips. Sisters, I'll give you five tips as well. First,

00:51:18--> 00:51:20

if you want to prepare yourself,

00:51:23--> 00:51:26

understand that murder is a bad

00:51:27--> 00:51:33

and the nature of a bad It means is a hardship involve.

00:51:34--> 00:52:24

You want to perform Salah five daily prayers, there are there is a hardship that is involved. You got to get up early in the morning. You got to you know leave your house or Salatin, you got to dress up you got to drive to the masjid and pray a bad marriage is also a bad because it's a bad everything that you do. It should be something that you do for the sake of Allah. If your wife is not in a good mood, you don't say she's not in a good mood in Who cares? You should say you know, if I put a smile on her face is a bad for me. Is agile for me? So take this project as a bad project. Not you know, it's her turn to make me happy. I made her happy. No.

00:52:26--> 00:52:30

Number two, understand the psychology of women.

00:52:32--> 00:52:38

They say colleagues completely though is not the way we think. For example,

00:52:40--> 00:52:41

if you are married

00:52:42--> 00:52:50

and you go and you buy see the way they count things are different. The way they count things are different.

00:52:51--> 00:53:10

You go out of your way and you Mashallah you borrow 10,000 you say brother Sorry, can you lend me 10,000? I will say no, because I don't have it, but then you go to the next guy, and then you say can I have 10,000 he said okay, Mashallah. And then 10,000 Boehner Mashallah 15,000 and you know, you go there

00:53:11--> 00:53:20

and then you say you know what, and you buy a nice you know, 2011 Lexus and say honey, the license plate says I love you

00:53:22--> 00:53:35

the keys now as a man you think you did something great my right i mean you you what you bent backwards You did your best, but for them there's only one

00:53:38--> 00:53:44

if you buy her Lexus with all that hardship and buy a flower that is one and this is one

00:53:46--> 00:53:58

no this is this is reality this our human that's how they think for men. If you buy me you know Mashallah some nice car. I will remember you even in my grade.

00:54:01--> 00:54:12

I will remember you just give me that Lexus and I'll tell you it's a mannequin you know, mala Cambodia, Allah forgive him. What about Shahada? Yeah, later on in Sharla. You know, I will remember it for women is different.

00:54:14--> 00:54:16

Their mentality is completely different.

00:54:17--> 00:54:36

So if you think this is how they work, then you wrong because in her calculation, you did one good thing. Car. One more good thing. flower, one dinner three. So you have three points. You have three points. They don't look at the size.

00:54:38--> 00:54:39

Number three.

00:54:40--> 00:54:43

We only have four minutes, not 10 minutes for me.

00:54:44--> 00:54:45

Number three.

00:54:46--> 00:54:50

What the other thing is, don't ever shoot at like a man.

00:54:51--> 00:54:59

Don't expect her to be like your friend. Like you me and we can you know, get into an argument distribute with certain things.

00:55:00--> 00:55:07

Mashallah, what do you got from Tim Hortons? We still brothers, then is Palestine and you hold

00:55:08--> 00:55:30

they don't get along he you need peace conference you need, you know settlement you need all us to bring everything to the table once again. So don't never ever treat them like they are us they are different they're different creatures, different species different Mashallah differently complete

00:55:31--> 00:55:32

number four

00:55:33--> 00:55:36

whatever happens is your fault.

00:55:37--> 00:55:44

Now I'm not gonna lie I'm not kidding, whatever happens. It's your fault. If you if she gets into accident

00:55:45--> 00:55:55

then in somewhere in Mississauga and you here working is your fault because you didn't drive her there is your mistake.

00:55:57--> 00:56:14

Last but not least, and this is important. So again, everything that happens is your for the sandwich ship lunches, I lost our you know, I'll leave you with four things because the fifth I forgot I swallow. And I have how many minutes left?

00:56:17--> 00:56:20

I have two minutes left. Now.

00:56:22--> 00:56:24

The five for the sisters.

00:56:26--> 00:56:31

Sisters, number one, I will say about marriage is

00:56:32--> 00:56:41

number two, your husband is nothing but a big baby. So children like a big, fat, ugly baby.

00:56:43--> 00:56:50

Babies are cute, you can kiss them, you can hug them, you can cuddle them, you know, men and I'm like that, you know, all hairy and all that, you know.

00:56:52--> 00:56:56

The mentality of men is different than the mentality of women.

00:56:57--> 00:57:04

And in based on the human psychology, would they tell you men are different? 20s What do they look for?

00:57:05--> 00:57:12

physical appearance. Men at the age from 20s they looking for a lady who's half

00:57:13--> 00:57:15

lady does mind gorgeous

00:57:17--> 00:57:49

30s they look for someone who's intellectual. Someone that they can sit and talk to someone that say you know I have been having this problem. You know with my boss. I'm having this problem with my father. You know what do you think they need someone you know he's the man is like concerned and he's worried about his job. He's worried about the family and he wants to talk to you and she's peeling potatoes and say you know the baby You know, he in it day I changed 15 diapers that aged 30

00:57:50--> 00:57:55

to 40 that's not what they hear. They want to hear someone who can they can compensate with

00:57:56--> 00:58:03

40 and older men are looking for someone who will take care of them.

00:58:04--> 00:58:14

who cook for them, who will feed them who are clean for them. Who will make sure someone who will make sure that he is enjoying his life.

00:58:15--> 00:58:26

These are the things that how men and women things shala I supposed to be doing more inshallah but my time is up. So some kind of spyware on my cell phone was said it was 100 a day.