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Islamic Marriage 02

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Said Rageah

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forever be true. cherish

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your life.

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Remember, Allah will always be there be there

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Manny Rahim salatu salam ala rasulillah Karim so you know whenever you know Mohammed was early he will Savio Jemaine Welcome to Islamic marriage. As you remember last episode we talked about some of the principles and the importance of marriage and why Allah subhanho wa Taala encouraged us to get married and the benefit of getting married as a reward from Allah subhanho wa tada including having children expansion in visit current provision from Allah subhana wa Tada. Let us go deeper into the subject and see how we can build an Islamic household. How can build an Islamic household? Now Allah subhanho wa Taala said in the Koran women, IIT and holla, follow communion fusi kumars, Raja Raja

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vino Kumar, Rama NFV dedicada, TV Palmieri, about Quran, Allah subhana wa tada is stated in this ayah woman it among the signs of a lost partner with Allah is this that he created it for you wives amongst yourselves. And then he said the test school he had that you may find reposed in them, you might find time to relax or place to relax with them, as Allah subhanho wa Taala said, but what is so unique after that is Allah said, What Jana Vina Kumar what the 10 what

00:01:43--> 00:02:43

and Allah subhana wa Tada. Put between you two more water, love, compassion and mercy. And this is so unique. It seems that also from the idea itself. That number one, Allah subhanho wa Taala is not denying the existence of love. Allah is the one who's in would you anabaena Come on, he put between you two, my love and mercy. Also as though Allah is saying in this ayah that can only take place after you get married. After you get married, the feelings of being attracted to that person are inclining toward that person, they may all exist in hamdulillah. But the actual gift it seems that comes from a loss honor with an or low on them, at the time of marriage, or after the marriage takes

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place. A lot of people they think in Islam, we cannot talk about love. And is it taboo to talk about love and anything that relates to love, and we all shouldn't be modest, decent. People we should not be talking about that subject of love, because this is for the foolish and for the young people and for the movie stars and so on. What they don't realize is, when we say Islamic household, it means a place that you can find comfort, you find in them people that you love, whether they are smiles, children, parents, or anyone else in the house is a house, a place of comfort, a place full of love and Islam would not come to reject the very thing that is calling to to love one another. To be

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compassionate towards one another to take care of one another out of the same day you can say there is no love between husband and wife. As a matter of fact, a man came to the messenger of a law some of the law while he was setting them

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and he said on the messenger of a law. I am taking care of a young lady who is your team who have parents or father passed away. I am her guardian.

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Yasuda law to individual came on the proposed to her one

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is poor.

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He has nothing the other one his wealth.

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The only issue on social life said she likes the poor one. And we like the wealthy one. We want one that can take care of our welfare that can take care of our would need. He is well off. He has extra money. He has this and this, but the other one, the other one is so poor,

00:04:44--> 00:04:59

and messenger over law, some of the lohani he was sending them he said I want to have Bernie in the car. He says those who are in love will never see anything like marriage. So he said let her get married the one that she liked the worst

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loves.

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Look at the Messenger of Allah. Number one he said those two individual who have feelings for one another, if they think they need a level that they can no longer pass it the Messenger of Allah saying

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wait until you get married because love have never seen anything like marriage in

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equals Oh, miracles love No. It's a shame that makes you feel that way is because you no longer committing Zina or committing sins are committed haraam. Shaytan is trying to take that spice out of your marriage and make it sound make it seem so adult. But in reality, if you just go through that, and you go through the myth of shape and your past that you will realize the true love only takes place between husband and wife has been blessed by a loss of Hano wattana.

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Also, from the time of the Messenger of Allah, it was this young lady who used to be called Madeira, Marina, she also used to come and stay at one of the one of the

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cleaners she was her husband.

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Her and her husband must leave.

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But she should periodically come to Asia. And when Allah Subhana, Allah revealed on

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the said along those who are under you to purchase themselves from you, and free themselves, allow them if they can pay you some to send them free to let them go free. Marina came to eyeshadow, the Aloha honor, she said, I need your help. I just said, What helped you. I shadow the aloneness she helped barrier and barrier she was able to purchase herself from her master, as she became independent, free young lady. Now her husband, he's still a slave. And he was madly in love with her. He loved her very much. But Islam says the young lady is free. She gets free. She doesn't have to maintain that marriage, she can walk away from the mess, you can divorce her husband. And she

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said I don't want to be with you anymore. So but either by gaining her freedom, she divorce her husband, movie. Now movie,

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he could not live without her.

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He loved her so much that he would leave his responsibility. And he would just walk after her crying. Yeah, buddy, you know, already, you know, please take me back. Or buddy to please take me back. I'm ready to she would not take him back.

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She said that said I am a free individual. I freed myself. I will live my life away from slavery and from you. So they passed by the Messenger of Allah. She's walking. And he's walking after her crying, are very pleased. Take me back, buddy to take me back on so on. So the messenger on the law section above bus. Look, look, it's so amazing how much he loves her, and how much she despise him.

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So the messenger of a law he took upon himself.

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And he went to bed.

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And so but you know, why don't you take him back? She said, Oh, mission, you're over law. I thought I'm wondering, is it an order from you that I must take him back? He said, No, I'm just interceding for him. She said, I have no need for this man. So look around the law. She didn't like him for movies. He was in love with her. And the Messenger of Allah saw that. But he didn't say oh my god, this is unacceptable. You are the person how can you be in love with someone who is not your wife, some hand on love, but he understood that this feeling is out of control, and it's out of his hand. A feeling in your heart you cannot control and the only thing that you can do is maintain it and

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make sure that it doesn't go across the limits of the law somehow no without it doesn't go far and cross the limits of the law. So the Messenger of Allah Allah

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Long while he was understanding the situation of movie, he tried to reconcile. But that did not work for him don't work for movies. But on the long run in the long run, he was

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one of those who have nimbyism the long run, he will send them set to the messenger over law, yada sort of law men have been nursing it came to the messenger and this is gonna be nice.

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I'm gonna be nice, was a man was strongly against Islam initially.

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As a matter of fact, he was the man that the police sent him to retreat him or her God who want to see it to bring them back.

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And when he went to a senior, he was unsuccessful in the Battle of hurt, he was fighting against the messenger over law.

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After that, he accepted his but before he accepted Islam, he came to the message of Alyssa jasola law.

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Give me a hand let me shake your hand and give you a covenant. All

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of obedience. Let me give you a covenant of opinion the Messenger of Allah extended his hand, but I want to he put his hand back for carnamah here, or amor, What is wrong? He said, I studied jasola law condition. It was the conditional yada sort of law. I want to love to forgive my sin, my past sins for what I do to you and to the Muslims. Anyway, after that, would have been an asset. Every time I turn to the sort of law and I look towards him, he's looking at me to the point that I thought he loves me more than he loves the rest of the Sahaba. So I went to him and I said, Jada sola law, men have been nursing coup Do you love most? The Messenger of the law? Right away said, I,

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I love it most. He said, No, no, I'm talking about men. I'm not talking about your wives. I want to know among yours to have out of your companions. Whom do you love most?

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I love her father knows. I said to him, Who else? he said.

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I said, Who is the third?

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He said, Iceman. He said, I said to myself, before I go far down the list. Let me stop here. Perhaps I can assume I'm the fourth or the fifth. That lesson of this he is

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when he asked Whom do you love most?

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He said, my wife. Nowadays, Muslims. If you ask, Who do you love, even if you love his wife, most most likely he won't admit.

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Especially those who live in the east. They would assume that's a shameful to do. It's a shameful thing to do to say to anybody. I love my wife.

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So to protect my honor, to protect my status in the community, I have to show them that I don't really love anyone, including my wife. I love my children because there's a natural love but I don't love my wife. And even if I love I will not share that with you.

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is not right

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now, Nabi sallallahu alayhi wa sallam.

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When he said I love our issue most.

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Ayesha herself said there was only one person that a pseudo law is a law it he was sending out of his wife that he loved more than I. She said and that was Khadija.

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She said she passed away a long time ago. She died long time ago. But yet I used to feel jealous of her. And I used it when you always have to mention this old lady, kind of sort of lines on the wall. It was some he said don't say this in music to be from Bihar. I was blessed with her love. I was blessed

00:14:18--> 00:14:51

with her love. I was giving the love Subhana Allah and had been to Hawaii, the sister of Khadija she used to sound like the voice of honey, God, Allahu Allah. Allah, he passed away a long time ago. And when Hannah comes to the house of the Messenger of Allah, and she asked for permission, can I enter the house? On a solo? Here's the voice of Hannah. His heart used to be fast.

00:14:52--> 00:14:59

Yeah, and that watch. This is how much rasulillah he is on the long run. He was suddenly love

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His wife had it. Now to love someone. It's not a

00:15:05--> 00:15:41

it's not something that we all feel ashamed of. It's not shameful thing is a natural feeling, and islamically it is allowed to be expressed. You can share with people say I love my wife and hamdulillah she is good wife, as swanger Hamdulillah, then you feel, you feel no evil, I found that person. And this is from the name of Allah when Allah said one minute and later on, because if someone comes and said to you, who do you love most, and you love your wife, most you should say, I love my wife. Now, this is love in Islam.

00:15:42--> 00:15:51

But let us look at this whole marriage from a different angle. from a different point of view.

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Let us see

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how sisters how women, view men. Now we always talk about love, and we won, you know, hollywood love time of love. I'm sorry, we weren't happy with time of marriage, that you know, you're in love with this person and you go through difficulties and you know, then finally you get married and you live happily ever after. That is not how marriage is. I want to share some all

00:16:20--> 00:16:55

points that would show you what type of men would women rather share their lives with? It's not everyone is women are not dumb, not men. So when she wants to marry someone in her mind, she already has some list. She hasn't listened to her mind. Some of this list unnatural. Others is the product of your society of your environment of your community.

00:16:56--> 00:17:51

And I want to share these list that the sisters have. And of course, this material that I have is not all mine. It's not mine. But this is what studies show specialists that is a special organization that took the time and an energy and spent money and try to understand what do women like what do they love? And this is they would not do it for the sake of women are for the goodness of their hearts. This was purely commercial they were doing was a purely business. They want to know what type of movies should they produce? What type of material should they advertise, so the woman can be attracted. So they want to show women they want to do these studies with women. So they can

00:17:51--> 00:18:07

see how women think and then create that perfect image doesn't exist. It will only exist in Genevieve nilla they want to create this and let us go over this and you will be amazed how women see men,

00:18:08--> 00:18:09

women

00:18:10--> 00:18:13

the first thing that they like to see in the man

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is to be decent. What do I mean by being this?

00:18:21--> 00:18:26

I mean, they want someone who is dignified.

00:18:27--> 00:18:51

someone whom Masha Allah have self respect. And specially in our Muslim society in Muslim communities more so that if a young lady makes a mistake, she smoked him once over the phone, or she emailed him. She wants to know that he's not gonna go on expose her.

00:18:52--> 00:18:54

He's not gonna talk to his friends and say, Look,

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she emailed me, she called me.

00:18:59--> 00:19:02

She's not as decent as she shows.

00:19:03--> 00:19:05

So they want someone which

00:19:07--> 00:19:54

someone will say, you know, this happened. hungry, that was a mistake. Done. We will bury, we will leave it behind. And then handed in that, may Allah Subhana, Allah bless you with your life in them. Allah bless me with my life. This is what they want. They don't want someone who will go to the coffee shop and talk about them and what they did and what they said. This is not what they even after marriage. She wants someone with that attitude with that behavior. And every time she makes a mistake, he won't pick up the phone and say, Mom, look what she did. Or he will not call her mothers and look at a daughter. She's useless. That's not what they want. They want someone who's decent and

00:19:54--> 00:19:54

dignified.

00:19:56--> 00:19:58

They also want someone

00:19:59--> 00:19:59

who was

00:20:00--> 00:20:02

sacrifice for them,

00:20:03--> 00:20:05

who's willing to give

00:20:06--> 00:20:33

a sacrifice for their happiness. Now, we're not talking about a man who's gonna go and die for her. We're talking about little things, he was sacrifice, the time that he would spend with his friends, you know, talking playing sports playing card, you know, just socializing, he will sacrifice that and be with her, he will sacrifice some of his habits,

00:20:34--> 00:20:57

too, and 100 inner, entertain some of hers, or the need of the family. So they like that person, who always willing to give up something for the family, for her. And that would increase love that she has for him. Also, they love this.

00:20:58--> 00:21:03

A man of leadership skills, see people especially in the West,

00:21:05--> 00:21:30

they make men look like they don't know what they're doing. And women, they know everything. So women, the wife, she runs the house, he just works on bring some money to the house. You know, he always makes mistakes, and she cleans up these mistakes. You know, he can't handle the children. In reality, women, they love and this is their own studies.

00:21:31--> 00:21:57

Women love a man who can meet her. And some Hannah law a lot setting up on early Gen Con, una Nisa. Men are maintainers and protectors of women. She wants that from him. She wants someone who will say hamdulillah I view your point of view, I listened to your suggestion. But I think we should go this direction. And she said humbly that I trust him.

00:21:58--> 00:22:17

Not someone who indecisive. Who doesn't know what he wants. woman with this person. Second with that person, this person changed his view, that person changed his view. Now, that's not what they want. And they don't want anyone who listened. They don't want someone who always listens to them.

00:22:19--> 00:22:21

Because that is not a quantity of

00:22:23--> 00:23:06

women likes to feel than handed in law. Now this man that I am with, he knows what he's doing. He knows the direction that the family should take. He knows the benefit the family, what we're harming the family. Therefore, he's going to protect us from that. And he's going to lead us toward that direction. And he's going to protect us from that which is which is harmful and will destroy the family. whatever that may be. This is what women likes to see whether the feminists communities agree or not, but this is what the decent bonds share mine open mind and with sound nature would like to see and have Allah Allah Allah subhana

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wa salaam aleikum wa rahmatullah wa barakato.

00:23:13--> 00:23:18

More than I, she said on that was Khadija. That was our region.

00:23:20--> 00:23:42

She said she passed away long time ago. She died long time ago. But yet I used to feel jealous of her. And I use it when you always have to mention this old lady, kind of sort of lines on the wall. It was solemn. He said don't say this. In music to be from Bihar. I was blessed with her love. I was blessed

00:23:43--> 00:24:16

with her love. I was giving the love Subhana Allah and had been to Hawaii, the sister of Khadija she used to sound like the voice of honey God alone. And honey you passed away a long time ago. And when Hannah comes to the house of the Messenger of Allah, and she asked for permission, can I enter the house on a solo hears the voice of Hannah is hard heart used to be fast.

00:24:17--> 00:24:24

Yeah, and that watch. This is how much of a pseudo law he is in the long run. He was suddenly love

00:24:25--> 00:24:29

his wife now to love someone. It's not a

00:24:30--> 00:24:59

it's not something we all feel ashamed of. It's not shameful thing. is a natural feeling. And islamically it is allowed to be expressed. You can share with people say I love my wife and hamdulillah she is good wife, as swanger hamdulillah that you feel you feel no evil I found that person. And this is from the name of Allah when Allah say one minute and Matter of fact, if someone comes and says to you, who do you love, most onion

00:25:00--> 00:25:06

love your wife, most you should say, I love my wife. Now, this is love in Islam.

00:25:07--> 00:25:16

But let us look at this whole marriage from a different and from a different point of view.

00:25:17--> 00:25:18

Let us see

00:25:19--> 00:25:44

how sisters how women, view men. Now, we always talk about love, and we won, you know, hollywood love time of love. I'm sorry, we weren't happy with time of marriage, that you know, you're in love with this person and you go through difficulties and you know, then finally you get married and you live happily ever after. That is not how marriage is, I want to share some all

00:25:45--> 00:25:53

points that would show you what type of men women rather

00:25:54--> 00:26:20

share their lives with. It's not everyone is women are not dumb, not men. So when she wants to marry someone in her mind, she already has some list. She hasn't listened her mind some of this list unnatural. Others is the product of your society of your environment of your community.

00:26:21--> 00:27:16

I want to share these list that the sisters have. And of course, this material that I have is not all mine. It's not mine. But this is what the studies show specialists that is a special organization that took the time and an energy and spent money and try to understand what do women like what do they love. And this is they were not doing for the sake of women are for the goodness of their hearts. This was purely commercial they were doing was a purely business. They want to know what type of movies should they produce? What type of material should they advertise, so the woman can be attracted. So they want to show women, they want to do these studies with women. So they can

00:27:16--> 00:27:32

see how women think, and then create that perfect image doesn't exist. It will only exist in generally inilah they want to create this and let us go over this and you will be amazed how women see men,

00:27:33--> 00:27:34

women,

00:27:35--> 00:27:38

the first thing that they like to see in the man

00:27:39--> 00:27:45

is to be decent. What do you mean by being this?

00:27:46--> 00:27:51

I mean, they want someone who is dignified.

00:27:52--> 00:28:16

Someone who Masha Allah have self respect. And specially in our Muslim society and Muslim communities more so that if a young lady makes a mistake, she smoked him once over the phone, or she emailed him. She wants to know that he's not gonna go on expose her.

00:28:17--> 00:28:19

He's not gonna talk to his friends and say, Look,

00:28:21--> 00:28:27

she emailed me, she called me. She's not as decent as she shows.

00:28:28--> 00:28:30

So they want someone which

00:28:32--> 00:29:19

someone will say, you know, this happened. hungry, that was a mistake. Done. We will bury, we will leave it behind an unhandled in that. May Allah Subhana. Allah bless you with your life and him Allah bless me with my life. This is what they want. They don't want someone who will go to the coffee shop and talk about them and what they did and what they said. This is not what they even after marriage. She wants someone with that attitude with that behavior. And every time she makes a mistake, you won't pick up the phone and say Mom, look what she did. Or he will not call her mothers and Ligia daughter, she's useless. That's not what they want. They want someone who's decent and

00:29:19--> 00:29:19

dignified.

00:29:21--> 00:29:23

They also want someone

00:29:24--> 00:29:27

who was sacrifice for them.

00:29:28--> 00:29:30

who's willing to give

00:29:31--> 00:29:58

a sacrifice for their happiness. Now, we're not talking about a man who's gonna go and die for her. We're talking about little things. He was sacrifice, the time that he would spend with his friends you know, talking playing sports or playing card, you know, just socializing. He will sacrifice that and be with her. He will sacrifice some of his habits

00:30:00--> 00:30:22

100 in, entertain someone hurts or the need of the family. So they like that person who always willing to give up something for the family, for her, and that would increase love that she has for him. Also, they love this.

00:30:23--> 00:30:28

A man of leadership skills. see a lot of people especially in the West,

00:30:30--> 00:30:54

they make men look like they don't know what they're doing. And women, they know everything. So women, the wife, she runs the house, he just works on bringing some money to the house. You know, he always makes mistakes, and she cleans up these mistakes, you know, he can handle the children. In reality women, they love and this is their own studies.

00:30:56--> 00:31:22

Women love a man who can meet her. And some Hannah law a lot setting up on early Gen Con, una Nisa. Men are maintainers and protectors of women. She wants that from him. She wants someone always say and hamdulillah. I view your point of view, I listened to your suggestion. But I think we should go this direction. And she said somebody that I trust.

00:31:23--> 00:31:42

Not someone who indecisive. Who doesn't know what he wants a woman with this person. Second with that person, this person changed his view, that person changed his view. Now, that's not what they want. And they don't want anyone who listened. They don't want someone who always listens to them.

00:31:44--> 00:31:46

Because that is not a quantity of

00:31:48--> 00:32:31

women likes to feel than handed in law. Now this man that I am with, he knows what he's doing. He knows the direction that the family should take. He knows the benefit the family, what what harmed the family, therefore, he's going to protect us from that. And he's going to lead us towards that direction and is going to protect us form that is which is harmful and will destroy the family. whatever that may be. This is what women likes to see whether the feminists communities agree or not, but this is what the decent bonds share mine open mind and with sound nature would like to see and have a law Allah Allah subhana

00:32:33--> 00:32:35

wa Salaam Alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh