Channel: Saad Tasleem
Wedding Expectations of Culture and Family
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Assalamu alaykum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh. A common issue that comes up during weddings is the cultural expectations one may have going into a wedding.
Listen, you must realize that we all have a certain culture, whether we consciously ascribed to it or not, no matter how much you try to disassociate yourself from a particular culture, you still have your own culture. Some people will say my culture is Islam. I'm sorry. But there are certain things about your life that Islam did to dictate things that are part of you that Islam doesn't care one way or the other about Islam gives us guidelines and principles. And as long as our culture fits within those guidelines, culture is not necessarily bad. The type of food you eat, for example, that's part of your culture. Islam has some guidelines and clear prohibitions. For example, don't
eat pork, don't consume alcohol, don't eat meat that isn't slaughtered properly, and so on. But it's not doesn't care whether you eat beef biryani, or a beef cheeseburger, as long as it's healthy. It's all good. And that's part of your culture, the food you eat, the way you dress, your language, culture. So we all have culture, and it's not all the same. It's obvious when you're marrying someone from a different race, or different ethnicity. But even if you're marrying someone from your own culture, just the fact that you grew up in two different households mean you have two different cultures. And you know what every household does have their own culture, their own way of doing
things, their own likes and dislikes and so on. So no matter who you marry, you're marrying someone from a different culture. Yeah, some cultures are closer to your culture, and some cultures are farther, but there will always be some differences. Keeping that in mind, here are a few things to watch out for when getting married. Firstly, you must must must be able to compromise if this is going to work, or speaking about weddings here, but this applies to the rest of your life that you're going to spend with this person as well. If you can make it work for the wedding, inshallah, tada, it's a good sign that you can make it work in the future as well. Always remember, cultural
practices are not law. Sometimes there's no right and wrong. There's just different ways of doing things. You don't want to start your marriage off with disagreements. You don't want to start your marriage off with bad blood between the families. You don't want to start your marriage off with resentment. Yeah, many people have their perfect wedding in mind. They the wedding that they always dreamed of. That they dream their wedding would be like this or like that. But remember, it's exactly that a dream wedding. And this is real life and real life is not perfect. Real Life is complicated. And in the real world, you cannot survive without compromises. This is what Allah has
told us that a marriage has two necessary components. My what de Norma, affectionate love and mercy. Yes, we must be merciful towards towards each other. Otherwise, it's not going to work. When it's all said and done. Don't get caught up in all the things you didn't have during your wedding, or how many ways your wedding was different than how you dreamed or imagined. rather think of all the ways in which your wedding went right. Think of the blessings of a law Think of how a law even granted you a wedding in the first place. And a law granted you a spouse. How many people never get married, how many people never have a wedding I will never find that loving spouse. May was fantastic
guidance towards that which is the most pleasing to Him and grant his happiness in this life and the law and allows piloti knows best until next time in shall law set equal to law. He