Punishing Good Behavior

Saad Tasleem

Channel: Saad Tasleem

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Assalamu alaykum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh. Today I want to speak to you about punishing good behavior.

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Now, you may say to yourself, why would someone do that? Why would someone punish good behavior? Or why would someone punish someone for doing something which is actually good? Now, what the reality is that usually when someone does this, usually when we do this, we don't do it consciously. A we do it without realizing it, that we're doing it. And what I mean by that is that, for example, someone makes a positive change in their life. And instead of encouraging them or being happy for them, or showing them that we're happy, we may say something like, oh, what took you so long? Or we say something like, finally, or we say, suddenly, like, I've been telling you to do this for such a long

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time? Or we may say to them, why can't you be like this all the time. So for example, somebody starts praying their five daily prayers, or let's say, someone prays one prayer, and we say to them, great, you're praying one prayer, but how about you pray all of your prayers, or someone starts coming to the machine, and we say to them, finally show you show up to the machine. And we actually see this happen a lot in the month of Ramadan, where someone starts doing something which is good, or they start making positive changes. And the way we react to that is, oh, it took you so long to do this, or, hey, we had to wait till the month of Ramadan for you to start being good, or we had to

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wait for the month of Ramadan for you to start praying, or you had to wait for the month of Ramadan, for you to leave off this sin. And all of this, like I said, I know it comes from a good place. But for the individual who is making good changes or positive changes in their life, this may come off as criticism, you have to try to empathize with the person who's making these changes in their life. You don't realize and we don't realize sometimes how difficult it was for them to make even this one change. And the last thing that they want to hear is criticism. The last thing they want to hear is Oh, finally you're doing this, what would be far more beneficial is words of encouragement, saying

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Mashallah, I'm so happy that you're able to make this change. May Allah bless you, and May Allah increase, you May Allah help you get even better. And sometimes we don't realize right that our words are coming off as criticism, rather than motivation. But for the listener, for the person who is receiving this, they have that perception of criticism versus motivation, and criticism and motivation. They have two very different effects. And that is why we find the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, he wasn't a critic, he was a motivator. This was the way of the prophets of Allahu Allah, he was sending them when he would see someone doing something which is good. He wouldn't say

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Oh, finally you started to do this. Rather, he would encourage them in the good that they are doing. So they would be motivated to continue. We have instances where we see someone doing something and maybe some people start to criticize this person and the Prophet settle I sent him replies and it says, this is a person who a lot and His Messenger love. Imagine hearing those words that Allah and His Messenger, they love this person who Other people may think is not such a great person. What does that do for that person? Well, that's a motivator. We hear the prophets, I send them saying to me rather than the 11 by a law, I love you these types of words, they're words of motivation and

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encouragement. And so when we see someone doing something, which is good, instead of cutting them down for taking so long, or cutting them down, because, you know, they didn't do it as fast as we think they need to do or they haven't done enough. rather give them words of encouragement, especially in this month of Ramadan where people are making positive changes. We need to be conscious and aware of that. So when we see someone doing something, which is good, we need to help motivate them. And what that means sometimes is to praise that person. And look, a lot of times I know we are afraid to praise someone, but praise is a really big motivator. So when you see someone

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for example, who leaves off a sin in the month of Ramadan, praise that person that praise could be encouragement, saying something like Mashallah, I can imagine how difficult was for you to leave this sin, but I see that you have and that is amazing. Or someone for example, you know, with the prayers, I'm going to start praying, we say that Look, I don't know how difficult it may have been for you to get to this place where you've started praying, but this is amazing. It's such an amazing thing to see from you. Once again, we want to be motivators rather than critics and allows penalty I don't know as best until next time, I sit on what Aiko what I put the light on what I got there.