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Did the Last Generation Respect Their Parents More

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Saad Tasleem

Channel: Saad Tasleem

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Episode Transcript

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I said, I want to echo what I have to learn what to cut back on another raw vlog. What I want to talk about today is respecting parents. Now recently, I heard someone say to me that this generation is really messed up. Why? Because this generation just doesn't respect their parents. And in reply, I said, Well, I don't know if that's necessarily the case. And by the way, a lot of these, this is generalization. There's always exceptions. We're not speaking, but everybody here, but we're talking about general trends. So, you know, I said, Well, I don't know if the previous generation, I don't know if they respected their parents are for something else. And the person said, well, they, they,

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you know, they would never talk back to their parents, the way this generation talks back to their parents, they wouldn't say the type of things that this generation, they say to their parents. And I said, Well, you know, is that respect? Or was that respect? Or was it fear? And, yeah, the person said, Well, maybe it was fear, but at least their behavior was good. And the reality is that fear and respect are not the same thing. Oftentimes people perceive, especially the person demanding respect, they perceive, you know, obedience as respect and obedience is not necessarily Respect. Respect is is is something that is found within oneself and respect is something that has to be

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earned. How do you earn respect while you earn respect by giving respect? So I'm not really sure you know, that people who say that, you know, the previous generation, the kids, they respected their parents? Well, I'm sure some of them actually did respect their parents, and likewise, even this generation, a lot of kids respect their parents. But if we're talking about general terms here, I think the previous generation, a lot of it was fear, you know, parents, oftentimes there, they were very strict with their kids, and they hit you know, expected a certain type of behavior. And the parents or sorry, the kids might have gone along with that, not because they respected their

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parents, but because they were afraid of their parents. And now in this generation, yeah, I think kids, you know, once again, this is a generalization, but kids are not as fearful of their parents. And therefore what is perceived is that, you know, they don't respect their parents, someone may say, you know, well, who cares? Whether it's fear or respect, the end result is the same, you know, that your kids listen to you, and they behave well, etc, etc. And there's a very big problem with that type of thinking. And I've heard people say, like, Look, that generation, they turned out fine, right? Even let's say they feared their parents, they didn't respect their parents, but they turned

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out fine. And I usually say, is that really true? Did that generation truly turn out fine. Look, every generation has its problems. And I'm not here to say that our generation or this generation is better than the previous generation. But to say that the previous generation didn't have any issues. I don't think that's the case, living in fear of one's parents has led to a lot of problems, much of that generation is dealing with a lot of issues that are coming out now that they may be, you know, people didn't realize when they were growing up. But now as they have become adults, they're dealing with a lot of issues. Some of them are mental health issues. You know, there's things like self

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esteem issues, there's many, many problems that that generation is dealing with, or dealt with even before. But it kind of, you know, it wasn't really talked about people didn't really think about it, a section of that generation dealt with abuse, maybe physical abuse, even parents who didn't, you know, hit their kids or beat their kids, there was a level of verbal abuse. So it's not, we can't really say that that didn't have an effect on the generation that grew up. And I've actually witnessed this firsthand and speaking to people from that generation and the problems that we're having, whether it be in their relationships, or whether it be you know, in their jobs, or whatever

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it may be, those are willing to talk about how they feel and how their life is going. They have to admit there are a lot of problems that they have, because of the way that they were raised. So raising someone out of fear is not a good thing, the profits, some a lot I send them was never like that, you know, when we think about how much the profits that I send them was respected. He wasn't respected because he brought fear to people or because people were afraid of him. People respected him because he respected them because they loved the profits I send them even kids or set them would show a tremendous amount of respect and give honor to children. And so obviously those children they

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grow up to respect the profit subtle I said to them, you know, it's very interesting, we actually have a an incident, which gives light to this whole issue. A man came to the press to send them and he said O Messenger of Allah, he said, I've 10 children, I haven't kissed any of them ever and the past seldom, he replied with something very, very interesting. He said Manila, your ham, your ham, he said the one who doesn't show mercy will not be shown mercy to now the main meaning of this hadith is obviously Mercy by a law that a person who doesn't show mercy to the creation person who isn't merciful to others than Allah will not show mercy to this person. But another benefit we get

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out of this narration is that also the creation if we want our children to be merciful

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towards us, we have to be merciful towards them, we have to show them respect if we want respect and this is actually alluded to in the Quran as well and so within Islam Allah, Allah to Allah says walked into lahoma didn't have Lima, Lima and lower to them the wing of humility speaking about our parents here that we should be humbled towards our parents well called Rob Burnham whom come out of Bayani so he got off and say, Oh, my lord have mercy upon them, just as they raised me when I was young, or just as they brought me up notice here in this ayah that we are we make the odd to Allah to have mercy upon our parents. And one of the reasons we do that is because they raised us in a

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good way. And part of that goodness in their raising us is that they raised this with mercy. So if we want our kids to have mercy upon us now, and later when we're older than obviously, we have to be merciful towards them. If we want our kids to respect us, not fear us, respect us, then we have to respect them as well. And that's why actually child abuse, you know, sometimes people don't understand that abuse can be verbal as well, constantly yelling at one's kids and and insulting them and putting them down and telling them they're good for nothing. And they don't do anything good. And they're just bad kids the constant stream of negativity that is actually verbal abuse, and have

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no doubt that's going to have a lasting effect on this individual. So how can we expect these children to respect us when we have never shown them respect, let alone the cycle of violence, if this is what we teach our kids, this is how they may grow up. And this is how they may treat their kids as well. And so this cycle of violence, the cycle of abuse, it has to stop. You know, the prophet said to them, he said something very interesting to us. He said, Manson, nothing Islamic. So nothing segi a fella who wizard Ohio wisdom and Amina beha Isla Yokoyama, he said, the person who starts something bad or does something bad, they will have the burden of that sin, they will have to

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carry the weight of that sin, and also the weight of every single person who followed them in that sin. So think about this in terms of the cycle of abuse or the cycle of violence, it may be in May Allah protect us that if we treat our kids in this way, and then they go on to treat their kids in the similar way, and this is what our kids learn and it gets passed down from generation to generation, we may be held accountable for that at least some part of that sin would be upon us. On the other hand, the posse, send them segments and nothing Islamism. Nothing has said that whoever does something good in Islam, but I know a gentle how a gentleman Amina, Bihar Isla Yeoman Akiyama,

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that they will have the reward of that goodness, that good deed and the reward of every single person who followed them until the day of judgment. Imagine you've had a lot that parents have shown their kids respect, they have been patient with their kids. They've taught them correct manners, not just enforced manners upon them, but showed them what correct manners are. They taught them how to deal with conflict, they taught them how to be kind with those who disagree with us, they showed them a higher level of patience and the kids learn this and then they pass that down to their kids and then their kids and their kids. Imagine all of the reward that this person has gotten until we

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ask Allah to Allah to give us the Sophia the ability to be merciful towards our children, and obviously towards our parents as well. And yes, we want our kids to respect us. Yes, we should respect our parents, but there has to be real respect, not just fear and Allah has counted to Allah knows best and until next time, Assalamu alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh