Ramadhan Reflections Ep 18 Marriage Loving Our Spouses
Channel: Riad Ouarzazi
File Size: 11.87MB
Bismillah Alhamdulillah wa salatu salam ala rasulillah my brothers and sisters and my dear viewers, as salaam aleikum wa rahmatullah wa barakato. My name is Theodore zazzy and I welcome you back into another episode of reflections of Ramadan. Today inshallah huhtala. We're going to talk about a another type of love as we in the last few episodes we talked about the love of Allah subhana wa Tada. Today we're going to talk about a different type of love, another halaal love, the love of our spouses, loving our spouses.
Marriage in Islam,
the Prophet Muhammad Ali sought to sue them you know, some women came to him complaining about the mistreatment to their husbands towards them. And then he actually sought to set himself then this height is reported by a tirmidhi by Tawny by also measure narrated by Aisha also narrated by best narrated by Maria so it's a very continuous Hadith, the prophet Mohammed it says wisdom says the best amongst you are those who are connected to the wives and I am kind I'm the kindness amongst you to my wives. I'm very kind to you. My wife says he said that he is allowed to sell and this kindness can be seen in too many forms and too many ways. You know, which we'll talk about in sha Allah how
to how to Allah subhana wa tada describes this kindness this love in the end in such a very beautiful way in salt room. Number 21. Allah subhanho wa Taala says By the
way, I mean I T and hodaka come in for cecum as well as well Jen liters Kono la wa Jalla.
Wa, ala Giada mahatama amin Aya T, and amongst these signs, the signs of a lot of the monks as of Allah is that he has created amongst you mates, your spouses, that you may dwell in tranquility or die that being a coma was
number one second, and then he says number two melodem love and mercy and then he has it made amongst you or created amongst you your your your spouse's your mates, and then he has put into your heart, love and mercy. So first he calls this bondage sakeena.
atom Second, we are second on to one another. We are we offer comfort to one another. And Allah subhana wa tada says was anabaena Kumamoto, Mandarin we are put amongst you in your hearts, love and mercy,
loving one another, and then having mercy upon one another, between the husband and the wife, between the spouses.
So let us talk a little bit about this nature, this bondage that Allah subhanho wa Taala talks about, but what are the fruits of marriage?
Why should they get married?
Why Allah talks about marriage and why the Prophet Muhammad Islam talks about, you know, the treatment tools, the wives and to the spouses, even in his last sermon, and he sought to see them in the very last sermon is awesome. He talked about you know, kindness to women. So what are the fruits of marriage? Let me share with you some of the fruits of marriage, my brothers and sisters and my dear viewers, first and foremost, tranquility. One of the thoughts of marriage is tranquility. Allah subhanho wa Taala says in the Quran
in solat un*in He says, One lady Anya Paulo, nabanna, habla mean as well as Gina was only Tina.
Tina Emma, one of the fruits of marriage get the wives and children those who say about benefit those who say about Ben a Happy Planner, Happy Planner. Oh Allah bestow on us gifts upon us happening I mean as well Gina from amongst our wives. Why don't we snap the iron? parotid the coolness our eyes? Yeah, I need the babies the children was cleaner mmm and makes us mm sudomotor clean. Makes us m&ms to the
To the pious and the righteous one's beautiful in the end, that describes this bondage of marriage. Also another form of marriage, like we said in our tranquility in sort of home. Second, we offer comfort to one another, and dwellings to one another latest school no ha ha, it is kuno from second from Sakina such a beautiful term Sakina Lita, schooner search, you may do it in tranquility with them.
Also another beautiful You know, food that we gain off of marriage is wealth as Allah subhana wa tada says, By the
gym, when can I say come? And then
Allah Subhana Allah says and marry those amongst you
who are single unrighteous. If they are poor, Allah will make them free from once so will you get well if they are poor, Allah we mix them will make them you know, wealthy and it will make them free of of want. So, another flute of marriage is that you will you know, it's you get with with a lot of social, you know, will help you get well also you get has a net, not just luck, you pray, just look, you see some harlot hamdulillah and Allah Allahu Akbar, you know, you know, Marian, you know, your spouse, you get Hassan that you just like Salah, yes, I'm not joking. I am serious. Isn't the pilot of the Prophet Mohammed it is that was
it the highlight is in Bukhari, don't mind me, okay, my brothers and sisters, just you know, I love this topic so much. The head is in Muslim, the prophet Mohammed, it is sad to see them says of the Buddha. The Prophet says, and in intimacy with your spouse, this sadaqa this charity, the Sahaba, jealous of Allah, how can it be charity, and man is enjoying himself with his spouse, and he gets the cinetic charity just like he's giving charity. And the problem is yes. However, if he was to do with it, how long would he wouldn't he be getting bad deeds? And then the Sahaba said yes, if he was to do it in Haram, he would good bad deeds, he will get the say yet, the prophet is likewise, if he
was to do it in holiday, he will get good deeds. So just like you know, you've seen with your spouse, intimacy and, and you know, and just look in the kiss and hug to your wife is in fact a bad Wallah. It's a worship to Allah subhanho wa Taala.
Another fruit of marriage is you will get the help of Allah, other than the wealth, you will get help from Allah subhana wa Tada. This is reported in the middie, that the Prophet Mohammed Allah says Muslim says that Allah subhanho, wa Taala, you know, three groups of people, three clubs of people, Allah subhanaw taala, has obliged himself to help them.
three groups of people, one of them is a man who wants to get married to live a chaste life. So a person who wants to get married to live a chaste life, Allah has obliged himself to help that person. So you will get the help of Allah subhana wa Tada. And another fruit of marriage that you will get is something called business continuity, I call it business continuity. What is business continuity, the Hadith reported by Muslim that the Prophet Muhammad Allah Sufism says, When a man dies, all his actions will come to an end, except for, you know, three, one of them is a son that will make up for him, and he's a son or daughter that will make the effort for that person. So we've
when that person dies, all his actions will come into an end has gone, everything's gone, except for three, one of them is if that person was to live by a son or a daughter, and that by his son or daughter making the alphabet for their father or their mother. So even if that person is dead, but the the account generator is still working, you know, you know, generating good deeds through the death of his son or daughter. So this is why I call it Business, Business continuity. So what are some of the ingredients as we looked into now the the, you know, fields of marriage, but what are some of the ingredients of improving our life with our spouses, you know, this relationship with our
spouses, as a marriage officer, you know, ISIS, I've got so many cases in terms of that I deal with of divorce, and whatnot, you know, and why, you know, let me let me show you some of the main causes. Number one is lack of patience. lack of patience, really, for me is the number one culprit, you know, that causes all these divorces, you know, unhappiness out there, lack of patience, why? I'll give you some examples. I mean, it just that sometimes, for that reason,
you know, especially within the first year of marriage, the first year or two years of marriage, when you get to know one another, and then you get married and then you say, oh boy, this is not what I was thinking about. I thought it was like a free ride. But this is so hard. This is not what I was thinking about. It's no fun.
I like my bed, toilet paper.
She likes it down. I like my toothbrush here. She likes it there. I like my food like this, she does it like that. And, you know, all these little thingies that you get, you know, if you were patient, you just get to know one another and have patience so that she can, in fact, you need some time to that you can compromise at some point, you know, you would need to, to not only, you know, live a religious life, because when sometimes people come to me, there's a shift, you know, what, am I right, as a wife, or what am i right as a husband? And it's not only about rights, really, I mean, you know, you cannot just say, it's my right, that's your right, you know, so
whenever, you know, marriage will never work like that.
So it's, there's something called sacrifice, compromise, you know, it's just not about just being so rigid.
So, you know, we that first year, especially, or the second year, the third years of marriage, you need a lot of patience, so that, you know, you still you know, having to you know, get in time to learn about one another to learn, you know, the, you know, maybe the you know, the strengths and weaknesses of each other. Like one sister, you know, she just wanted to divorce her husband because Myskina she can sleep at night. These guys snores and nothing is snoring snoring like, you know, those big people with the big bellies.
And the small they make music in our the snoring, you know, and then she's
like I was I can't take this anymore. I can't even sleep Look at my eyes in a big
sale. Okay, okay, well, we want divorce, we just why don't you show some patience, you can sleep somewhere else, maybe until you get used to it. Or maybe, you know, just you know, have a way to entertain me sleep first and you sleep next or whatever. You know what, get out. Maybe after some time, you will love his snoring. He say honey, honey, please. No, I miss it. I love it. It becomes like music to your ears. Patience. It'll sometimes some husbands also they need that patient and they need really a lot of patience and perseverance. The last thing I have heard recently is some guy who divorced his wife in power in America dual power from around the Kaaba.
he divorced his wife. What happened? Because this is arguing about, you know,
about, you know, how many times did we go around the cabin, she was saying five, he was saying he was saying six? And she says no, it's five minutes and six? And she's No, I know, I'm sure I'm five. And she said, he says no, it's six and the back and forth, back and forth. You panic.
Oh, you're divorced. What?
We got in here, man.
I don't know what you got in here. And you're doing whatever you're doing. And then you divorce your wife with one extra or less maybe
around? If you go back and do it.
Forget about you know, is it five or or four or whatnot. You know, I'm just seeing the example of this man who just divorces his wife for this ridiculous reason.
So you know, here patience for me is actually a very crucial element into improving your life or you're in love with your spouse. So that's number one. Number two is another very important element that will help you increase your love with your spouse is Do not be stubborn. Yes, I mean, it will lie. Don't be stubborn. Just like the guy guy in the same example. You know some guy who's you know, the just this is stubbornness. divorcing her when when she was doing power, in fact, in no shape and he loves us. He's gonna come and whisper Yeah, show him was the man. Yeah, tell him you're the man. He's telling her. You're the woman. And he goes to me. So yeah, you better tell it was the man.
And don't Don't, don't be quiet. just respond back and talk back and forth and back and forth. And a tenant tenant if he's a man. Take him to divorce you.
Yeah, divorce me? You want me to divorce you? Yeah, divorce me if you're a man.
And then here's the divorce. He told the divorce it. And then he's like crying and calling Jeff Please help me. I need to fight. What? What?
This is all about stubbornness.
It kills your marriage. It destroys it. Be careful. Well, I'm so serious. This one man quick one. In fact, his wife taught him a very beautiful, you know, beautiful, beautiful Spanish lesson who in fact, she she was he he's the one who in fact, abused her rights and became stubborn all of a sudden and then he he reprimanded her and she was crying. She started crying and then her father came in, you know her father.
To visit them in that she was crying, she opened the door, and then her father was there. And then the father says What happened? Honey, you know, any problems that your husband? She's no, no, no, she says, I was just talking, you know, thinking about you I missed, you know, sort of crying. That's why I'm crying because I really missed you. Thank you for coming. Allah has this is my call, I was making the effort, Allah, you know, I want to see my parents, I missed them some harmala. And the guy was listening.
The guy was listening. And then she came, she cooked in a beautiful dinner. She didn't she acted like nothing happened.
And then the father in one day left the parents they left. The guy went outside both have a very nice gift. And then he came to me and says, Thank you so much. You taught me a very nice, listen, I'm really sorry.
You know, because the shaytan he wants that. He wants divorce. He wants to separate you.
The Prophet Mohammed Hassan says in his head reported by the student very strong headed, you want me to tell you about a woman that Jenna is a woman whose husband has oppressed.
And then before she goes to sleep, she Richard Chuck reaches out to him. And then she shakes his head and she says, Listen, I will not go to sleep until you're pleased with me.
She's not stuttering, because the shaytan is holding her he says no, no, don't go. And the next rinex also is telling her not to go. So she stepped on the street on and she steps on her lips. And then she comes to you and she says listen, I'm not going to sleep. Actually pleased with me. The Prophet Mohammed Larson says this woman is from Jenna.
stubbornness, kids marriage. So don't be stubborn.
exchanging gifts is another thing that will help you increase love amongst you know, exchanging gifts from time to time in our little gift to your husband or your wife. You know, Zack law hair, just lifting you know, just lifting his prophet Mohammed assistances inherited the porters by Ronnie and others to have to have to exchange gifts amongst each other. It will increase love amongst you. So from time to time, you know, don't like this guy, by the way. Who just went and bought some flowers. His wife is honey. Here's some
flowers. This is all flowers.
Whoa, you never bought me flowers. You said Yeah. Yeah. Because in fact, they were on sale.
They just spoiled it.
What do you mean when I say you know, so gifts, you know, it could be as as something as so trivial as it doesn't have to be something big but maybe a little flour or a little chocolate or a little just a smile or a little hug or anything that you know just to show that you know some appreciation to your spouse. Another thing that will also help increase love amongst you is this so now this sooner that we have neglected. Long neglected is warm greetings like you come home a Salam aleykum Selam Aleykum How are you okay for halochem love the Prophet Mohammed is awesome is to do salaam aleikum, he would come You know, how are you and you know, and they will call to bring his wife and
then they said it's great Warm greetings. That'd be nice if you can couple them with some hugs. They'll hugs little touches because they say the for a woman to feel secure she needs to be touched more than 33 times 33 times per day I didn't say that. Don't hold me accountable for these are the experts they say for the woman to feel secure I think she has to be touched 30 or 33 times a law and then why 30 times you don't do like 1234 likewise like no no no why not you come from work you know when the gun deal hawks and and why they come Are you little high gear little touch there you know the thing just just you know little hug Sarah Marie comb and a little higher as the professional
used to do
is to bring in her menses and she's to come some Pamela she has to come and lean on the on the lap of loss to the landless
as used to play with her head Yeah.
That's romance. Prophet Mohammed. Odessa is Asia with so you know, warm greetings that will help increase love amongst you praising each other praising each other Mashallah and Zack la Hey, thank you, you know, praising each other will definitely help you know increased love amongst you Mashallah, you look so beautiful today. You look wonderful today Mashallah honey you look like your your your your account Mashallah like your muscles, but I look like you've been pumping some iron Mashallah, yeah, because all the husband they like to use when you tell them that they look good, that they look some muscles, you know, even those that are these big bellies? Yeah, they're like if
you tell them Mashallah Honey, I think you like you look like been losing some weight, you know, just just just It's all right. It's okay just throw it at him. And also for you to her like luck hair balaclava. Thank you, honey, you look so beautiful today Mashallah balaclava dress this, this, this thing that you're wearing martial arts about looks so perfect on you Mashallah. And be careful because let me tell you, when your wife comes and asked you, you know, this is just an advice, okay? If your wife comes to ask you, honey, what
Today we're this black shirt or the white shoe. This white t Java pink Asian Don't even say anything. So it's okay honey What do you think?
What do you think you know they bought nice What do you think she's? I think big and you say I think pixel I love it. In fact, you pick the right choice masala beer for other shoe covers in Isaiah. Thank you. Thank you honey thank you and you guys will have fun
I love this topic you know, another thing that will help you love increase love amongst you
don't compare each other to one another. Yeah, and don't not compare one to another meaning don't compare her for instance to your mother. Or don't compare your husband to your brother or your husband to his brother or Mashallah your husband look at your brother the way he treats his wife the way he talks to his wife the way he does this or the or or my mother in law she cooks for you then you say my mother she cooks differently my mother does this differently. My mother I did not marry your mother I married you. She may say every time she tries to do something for you you say no no my mother doesn't do it like that. My mother my dog this my mother
Hey, Hey yo, you're the man you're going up aren't you? mama mama mama mama mama mother Come on.
We'll love regardless. So these are some of the elements inshallah tada that will help increase love amongst you pamper each other actually cherish one another. Yeah happy Betty My love My honey, my husband, you know, whatever names you know, bumping each other, you know, help each other at home help with the chores as the Prophet Mohammed is such as them used to do whenever you know at the home he would go and he would help you know hi Shah he would help his wife or his son to say have some kind words you know, say some kind words exchanging kind words with one another? Is that lokhandwala colorific Thank you honey, you know, whatever kinda was good was esodoc I actually smile
in the face of your husband a smile in the face of your spouse of your wife is sadaqa is charity it you come home sometimes you have no money to give charity show a beautiful smile to your spouse have already done as far as charity kind words like this. This farmer woman you know her husband has a donkey who he loves and then one day he comes home he's really tired and he's really sad. And then she goes Honey, what's wrong? And he says my donkey died. Then he goes on she goes on feel so sad. It's okay honey, you are better than 100 donkeys
donkeys are my donkey you compare me to my donkey you know, so corny Highland always smoothly go ahead and say something good or be quiet as the Prophet awesome is to say show your love and show your support to one another. Be honest with each other. If you want to increase love amongst you, be honest don't hide your fees if you talk if you have any issues don't don't never never solve your problems or argue in front of your kids take your wife or husband somewhere and then you talk about your issues talk about your problems and now if you have anything you you've said something you know which you may have heard my you know really hurt my feelings you know please don't don't do that
again and he may say well I'm sorry I didn't know you know so talk about Don't Don't be honest and don't hide your feelings if something if something was to hurt you also you know use Beautiful Names when you call each other as the Prophet Mohammed it just has to do with I used to call it Beautiful Names I use you know Humaira. So you may use some beautiful names to to you know to talk with with one another pray together as the Prophet Mohammed used to do with Isha pray together you know fast together and pray and do pmla together you know, do exercise with your husband would your wife take together take some time out and go out and then walk in the park or an and do something together
just to spend quality time with each other. Now, you know, this is this is really what life is all about my brothers and sisters respect each other respect really, this is the another core element that is so important in the relationship with our spouses is all about really respect and and apologize at times of making mistakes that also would would you know definitely help increase love amongst you and contemplate the spirit of the Prophet Mohammed is the same as he used to treat his wife You know, he'd play with her, you know, splash water at her you know, go together raise her you know, I shall give her another look at the life of the Prophet Mohammed I just sit and read and read
his his Sierra is a sense that you can understand and see and learn how he used to treat his wives allihies Salatu was to them May Allah subhanahu wa tada help us also practice and to convey my brothers and sisters the most beloved is the second hola those that are continuous so I don't want you to go today buy some flowers for your spouse and then she wants the flowers and then the next decade if you do it and do it continuously inshallah tada from time to time surprise each other you know from time to time do some surprise you know, you know surprising each other like you call on the phone. Is that good luck. Hey, Sir Michael, Michael, Sam. Honey, what's up, pick up pick, pack
up your bags. What am I going I'm gonna go
Back home Do you do anything? No, no no we're going for Allah together Allah He just surprising each other from time to time it's okay but like the routine Bertolucci Allah subhanaw taala help us all to practice and to convey, be creative. May Allah Subhana Allah makes you such a happy couple in sha Allah to Allah not only this life but also make you the same couple in general inshallah tada con la vaca ficam wa salam aleikum wa rahmatullah wa barakato.