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How To Raise Your Parents
Channel: Riad Ouarzazi
File Size: 31.18MB
This lecture was presented at the Al Falah Islamic Centre on July 7, 2017.
Episode Transcript ©
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smilla al hamdu los altos de mesilla This looks like an Arabic Mashallah city and you know the brothers and you know they have a Mashallah nice to some okay that reminds me of, of how we deal with back home we know exactly how but May Allah bless us like myself are coming
at a marina Maria de la llamada
De La Hoya shadow Allah, Allah Allah Allah, Allah, Allah
Mohammed Abdullah sudo
May Allah azza wa jal shower His mercy upon us May Allah bless you, and bless the time which you have taken from your busy schedule to come and join us here today will make it worthwhile inshallah for all of you today we're going to talk about how to raise our parents
Yes, things have moved sort of like upside down so it is us so you know, parents who try to raise the children but in the West, the children are raising the parents. So how to raise our parents so inshallah Allah this will be the topic today.
But first, let me just set the stage and tell you about the the blessings of such gathering Just so you know, that you're not wasting your time. Some of you may be we're just passing by them they happen to know that this and that they just said, but some of you did come actually to pray and to attend this beautiful gathering, and then also to pray Asia. So let me tell you what we get off of these kind of gatherings where the by the name of Allah has been mentioned, the prophet muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam Prophet Muhammad Sallallahu Sallam he says in this beautiful Hadith.
And the Hadith is in the book is the sahkari
Lila Hema, aka
the Prophet Muhammad Sallallahu Sallam says that they are angels joella
other angels who travel, they travel around the globe, looking for this type of gathering, whether by the name of Allah subhanho wa Taala is mentioned. This is their job, these angels have a job, their only job is to look for such gathering. And they come and they sit and they listen.
And then when the gathering is over, they go back up to Allah subhanho wa Taala.
And Allah knows where they've been. Or Allah, we found people, this is what they say, we find your servants who are glorifying you and praising you. Because they love you who loves a lot, just so I can make sure that because maybe I'm talking the wrong people here who loves Allah. Okay, and everybody hamdulillah they see Allah be born, they love you, they love you. And then Allah says,
Have you seen me? Or can you love Allah without seeing him? Cut they seen me and the issues they say they are happy, they haven't seen you? And then allows them the question, however, if they were to see me, however, if they were to see me, the angels replay other people, they were to see you, they will love you more. Praise You more good for you more.
And Allah ask them the question now. And what are they asking me of?
These people who gather to praise me? What do they want from me? What do they want from me? What are they asking me for? They say all obvious. arona. Kanchana Allah, they asked you for the agenda.
I want to ask another question, Who wants to go?
I'm sorry, I need to ask you to understand, right? So I know who I'm talking to. You know, because if you don't want to go the agenda, there's only another destination which you don't want to go to. So anyone interested. But you'd have to do
this a lot because they asked you for gender. And then ask them another question. They say, have they seen it?
Have they seen Shana? They say no. They haven't seen it. So alized them however, if they were to see it? How about if they were to see Jenna or Allah if they were to see Oceana, they will make sure to work harder to be admitted to it. And then they allows them another question. They say, when we met I was on what are they seeking refuge from? What are they seeking refuge from? They say your nose, but he keeps asking these questions. What are they seeking refuge from? you're seeking refuge from Jana, they want Jana and they want to be saved from Shannon. Allah ask the final question. Well, how have they seen it? Have they seen jahannam the angels they say
they have not seen it. So allows them another good one.
However, if they
We'll just see it. How about if they were to see Johanna, this yellow if they were to see Shannon, they will make sure to stay away from her and only Helen so that they do not enter it. And Allah subhanho wa Taala at the end he says, Oh my angels you all be witness shadow. You all be witness. I forgive all of them.
I forgive all of them. So my brothers, my sisters, you came here today to be forgiven.
You're not he did not come here today to drink the tea because you have better tea at home. He did not come here today because your handsome Allah did not choose you to be here today because you're healthy because there are people who are healthier than you and wealthier than you. And not here with us today. Allah knows you came here today you've been selected by Allah subhanho wa Taala. meticulous discipline selected by Allah subhanaw taala to come here today.
Just so you're forgiven, because of the Hadith of the Prophet Mohammed that Allah dn when he says Yama ekati shadow, all my interest you all be witness, or your witness, I forgive all of them. What urn does the forgiveness mobilization, this type of gathering where by the name of Allah is mentioned. You see, we're all here to praise Allah to glorify him along with him. At the end of the of this event, what will happen there's another Hadith, which is also sound and authentic in Bukhari and Muslim narrate the Bible when the Prophet Mohammed ISIS and says Mr. Morocco moon fee baiting me booty LA, when some people gather in one of the houses of Allah in a place of gathering any place of
gathering whether by the name of Allah is mentioned few things will happen to them what will happen to them let me tell you what what happened to them the Prophet says Illa what Russia to Rama number one I'm gonna ask you questions please remember
and if you answer the question give you some dates.
We Muslims we eat dates, we don't date we date. Do we
just don't make doubles? Or you can take your wife Yeah, yeah, but we eat this but yeah, I'm wrong. You're right. Where was I? The seat.
He says when people they get together just like this, to praise a lot to glorify Him to Mexico Hamas.
Number one, pressure to move Rama, Rama of Allah will overwhelm them. Rama Mercy of Allah will overwhelm them. That's number one. Number two, when he was Sakina and Sakina, tranquility will descend upon them, you know, second year Sakina tranquility, you know, the peace of heart, the peace of mind, you know, the the comfort, the serenity, that Sakina the coolness Sakina will descend upon them when you see here in the massage for instance, and and listening to the caramella sakeena will descend upon you. That's number two. Number three, what? What
Malaika and the angels will surrender the wings on top of them right now, at this very particular moment. The angels are with us. They're spreading their wings. I'm starting Hussein Hussein, I'm just narrating it to you. The angels will surround them with the wings. That's number three. Number four was the callaham Allah.
Allah subhana wa tada right now is mentioned our names to His angels that go home Hello, FEMA. Ainda. A lot is mentioned. Imagine you know, I don't know if you if you understand what I'm trying to say here. Imagine Allah. Allah is mentioning your name. He's angels. And who am I?
You may say Who am I? Ulla? subhana wa, tada is mentioning your name. Imagine? Imagine if your name was mentioned by Prime Minister Trudeau.
Wouldn't you feel something
is a good man. I always make that for me like it is such an amazing man.
man like him.
I travel a lot to him to the left for my work. You know, and I go to different massages and herbs and stuff and people all over the world. They use the good headset good envy, about our our, our home country of Hungary. Lana Baba, our Prime Minister, they say you guys are so lucky. I was in the UK just few weeks ago. And people are having so many problems there. They say everybody wants to move to the US to Canada now. Right? So hamdulillah How about if Prime Minister Trudeau is to mention your name live on public TV?
How would you feel?
No, no, no, it's not prime minister or this or that.
Allah right now he said into angels of God okay. You have
I just asked you the question your name yeah what's unique mother one mother one yeah meta ekati look Marwan Marwan Allah saying this yeah medicated look into the Marwan Yamasaki. Oh my servant Marwan is praising me. Yeah Mullah
Mohammed Yama, he wrote
it for us.
For us fat, fat,
fat, fat. What is that? Is that the name? trans
Maybe later on you can maybe talk to you. That's the name. Just joking for has is mentioning to me a lot as those that right now we still missing your name? Geez, I don't know if you understand the greatness of that, you know the greatest. But beyond that, beyond that, that's number four. Number five.
At the end of the gathering, once we're done, and we stand up, an engine will say,
who will stand up and leave McFaul? And
what did it say ethical has said that the angels will say at the very end, once we're done, an angel will now stand up and leave, all your sins have been forgiven, and all the bad deeds have been converted to good deeds.
So now, you still want to stay or you want to leave.
You stay in here, at the end what you're going to earn, you're going to earn forgiveness from Allah subhanho wa Tada, you're going to earn all the sins, you know that you've been doing the sins alone converted into good deeds. Yeah. And these are the blessings and the virtues of these types of gatherings. So I just wanted to set the stage and shout Allahu taala. So that we can start with our topic today, how to raise parents, and let me show you the
what we're going to talk about the agenda.
We're going to talk about kindness to parents in Islam. What does it mean parents in Islam, we're going to talk about the consequences of this honoring the parents, the how to raise the parents is just a title to attract you. It is actually how to raise the kids, right, but how to raise the parents just a title.
What is wrong with the parents children relationship? Today, we're gonna have to talk about things today. You know, I'm a marriage officer, and I'm also a coach and a life coach. So I have a lot of people sometimes approached me with issues with problems, you know, so I talked to kids and I talked to the parents and they talked to the youth. And I talked to the adults I talked to you guys know. And I understand try to you know, assess the problems and see how we can solve the problems. What is wrong with the parents in our children relationship today. And also, we're going to talk about some tips and directives on how to energize that relationship between us as parents, and our children,
and regardless of their age, regardless of their age. And at the very end, we'll talk about some rules. So first, this is mentioned this lecture today is split into two segments. The first segments is about the parents. And the second segment is about our children. Fair enough. Fair, yes, sir. Yes.
Yes or Yes. How the Egyptian democracy you know, yes or yes. Or even Pakistan is the same thing.
Allah subhanho wa Taala.
When he talks about parents in Islam, in the end, you will find in many is in the Quran, that Allah subhanho wa Taala when he mentioned his parents, in parallel to mention parents he mentioned the heat of the history is oneness.
in Surat, Al Baqarah insalata Nisa, in solid in solid LSR let me share with you some ideas of what Allah subhana wa tada says by the Ministry Tanya gaji.
Danny is a law in a law taboo in
Santa Clara Allah subhanaw taala says, and we to covenant from various law in not to worship anyone other than Allah and that you'll be good to your parents will be the Santa
You know your parents, Allah subhana wa tada says,
In Surah Nisa, Allah subhanho wa Taala says and worship Allah and don't associate anyone with him and right after that, like after throw at those will be the early days. And you'd be good to your parents, you see, to show you the, the, the greatness of the matter of the you know the importance of the parents. You mentioned them right next to to eat next to Allah, Allah subhana wa tada says,
One more time in Sadat. Allah has decreed that you worship none but him and that you'll be good to your parents.
And it's a beautiful Ioannis mentions you know all more than he says in
mosquito Phil Kiba who speaks Arabic By the way, so I know
Mishcon lupus few who speaks Arabic
alright hamdulillah and who do not speak the rest
so we'll do both Arabic English and a little bit of although I'm gonna throw some time some or whatever I know, like upcoming habitica or something like that. recepie de la
it's okay to smile. Yeah, and the motto a smile is as soon as some people they think smiling is halon laughing or less mighty sadaqa smile is Seneca is charity.
Allah subhana wa Taala says And Allah has decreed that you worship Him and that should be good to your parents in
level Matt, Jana has
Allah Subhana Allah says,
when they reach an elderly age,
when they're young, they may not need you much.
They can do things on their own. They can, they can take the trash out, and maybe they can shovel the snow on their own. They can do their own things when they're young. But once they reach a certain age, like an early age, and unless it's in May,
when they reach a certain age, one of them or both of them
when the hair starts turning gray, when the back starts becoming you know, they cannot even walk straight
off. Allah says don't even say oh to them. If you look into the dictionary in Arabic, the dictionary in Arabic, you won't find this word of it does not exist.
Even that off, you're not supposed to say to your parents.
In our words today in our terms today, oh, oh, you talk too much, dad. Oh, I'm busy mom. Oh, you're old school.
Even the you can say that to your parents. Oh,
I'm busy. You're busy.
One of the predecessors
he was in his solar. So now you tell me if you're busy. He was in his solar train. And his mom called him in the summer he was saying y'all have been so lucky. I'm only in the Salah. So you may say how busy was he? It was he was doing he was praying. And then his mom called him. So he says, Oh my Lord in His Sunnah, Mom, or my prayer? Shall I keep on praying? Or shall I break my salah and attend my mother? Yes, he was not praying that he was praying. So now he was praying nothing at home. And his mother called him.
He did not attend his mother. And his mother became angry at him.
And his mother became angry at him. So you may say I'm busy. I cannot attend or I'm busy. I'm busy with my studies. I'm busy with my homework. This
Man was in his father.
He cannot be any easier. Right? Yes. He got Allah subhanho wa Taala was displeased with him because because his mother was upset, so much so
this is all in black and Muslim.
His mother called him
What did he say? Imagine what he says. Your father call you. You're here. When you father call you How do you respond? Not just like that. Now. Really nice, nice now, just because he's here now. Or sometimes you don't respond until he has to call three, four or five times and say, What
do you don't don't say What?
Don't you parents? When your child answers watch? Don't watch me. He said what?
I don't like it.
Don't don't watch me wish. What? If I don't need you? I wouldn't be calling you. You tell me what?
His mother calling? What did he say? says that Baker.
You know that bake. We only say that bake when we go for the baker law. Bake. Right? Right. This man says like bake your man. Yes, mother that bake means yes. In Arabic. Yes. I'm coming that bake your man or mom that baking? he felt he raised his voice at his mother. He went he purchased a slave and he freed up Sabina.
Did he do anything wrong? He just felt he said Yes, Mom.
Yes, mom, but he felt he raised his voice.
Even the Masood
Well Hello, Mr. Sahabi
his mom said yeah, I want some water. My my you know, my in Arab in although my means
water. Funny, right. Funny, right? I want penny. I want some water. So he went to get her water. By the time he came back. His mother will fell asleep at night. So you know what he did? The whole night he was holding the glass of water and waiting for his mother to wake up. Whenever he feels tired, he sits down.
Because he's the whole night. He sits down and then when he feels sleepy is all about to sleep. He stands up.
And then if you start his sets standing up say the whole night aunty his mom woke up. The first thing she looked at him and he went to her mom, the water which you call for him. He wanted the first thing when his mom wakes up is to see him and see the water that he
brought her. What do we call this in Arabic or in Islam? We call it the bill actually the bill. If you go to translate this word bear, you will not find a good translation or the proper translation to these word build. And where do they Oh good. Go to the parents.
So Allah says in May of lava in the Kalki Akira Houma
Don't even say off to them.
Don't raise your voice at them Don't scream at them
and lower you You're the wing of disgrace disgrace yourself. No, the Chanel has done liminal Rama. Have you ever seen a bird before? Have you seen a bird before? You see the bird flying? And then Have you seen a bird fly and then landing? bird lands? When the bird lands what happens to the to the wings?
Yeah, they stopped but the wing do they go like this? Or they go like that?
When he lands does he didn't like this? Or he does like that.
People never seen birds.
No birds, Murphy birds. There's no birds.
When the birds they fly and then they land you will find that they will put their Zhanna their birds down like this. Elaine's using the analogy in the unseen Fiddler Huma Jenner has certainly been a wash man, and bring for lower Zhanna the tenor of the oven of of disgrace of the men of Russia just off of mercy, lower the agenda to them. When they come to you when they ask you to lower the use of that bring yourself down before then, and make the hat for the Makarova be at ham Houma Kamara Bayani Sahara. say Oh my Lord, have mercy upon them as they have raised me when I was a kid.
Holla Holla Holla.
Well, law he and I mean the measured will lie and lay the law in law. And I swear by Allah who holds myself and I'm sweating By Allah, intimidated
We will not know the value of our parents until the day they're gone.
Once they leave and they're gone,
once they depart from this life, then and only then we will really know the true value of our parents
especially the mom.
Especially the mother, mock mock mock, especially the mother, the mom, who has given up her dreams, because of your dreams,
she has given up her dreams, for your dreams and who will do that only for a mom and I say, when a mom is gone, when a mom departs from this life, I say that the entire world changes colors, in fact, the world becomes gray and and black and white, you know, when we use colors, when the mother when the mother is gone, because because everybody can be replaced. Everybody, your your your friends can be replaced. Your job can be replaced.
Your house can be replaced, your car can be replaced, your business can be replaced. Everything can be replaced, but your mother can never be replaced your parents, they cannot be replaced. They have who they are. You cannot get go and say you know what? I want to change my mom and look for another month. There's no such a thing. The man cannot be replaced.
Have you been who has been for the hedge before?
Not your armor. But as 3d hedge. I want to talk about hedge because we're going Charlottesville for hedge, right? You've been for hedge so many times before you go for hedge. Right? people they come in they ask for ice What do they ask you please make the offer me make the offer us please don't forget and they give you an hour they give you the names. Please make dua for us, don't they? Imagine your mother is going for has your mom is going for us? Do you have to tell her mom make that for me? Please don't remember. You don't have to tell her that you don't have to remind her that why? because initially she is going for his just to make the app for you. She does not make the
offer herself. She makes the offer for her kids more than she makes for her own self. She has given up her dreams just because of your dreams. As I keep saying who can do such a thing other than a mom.
A kid goes to his mom. And he says Mom, why do you cry?
Why do you cry moms?
She says because I'm a mom.
She's mom makes no sense. I don't understand what do you mean? He goes to his dad, dad. Why mom just cry sometimes, if you just price and understand.
Just because she is a woman
that he doesn't understand that just makes no sense to me.
He grows up
you reach a certain age. And then one day he meets this righteous wise men who asked him this question. He says Why do women cry? Why are we not mothers? You know, why do they cry sometimes without any reason they cry? He says yeah, one lady. Oh my son, Allah subhana wa tada created this woman with you shoulders.
When the family goes down, she can bring them up. Allah has given her that strength with huge arms. When the family is sometimes spread. She brings them together
with a huge heart. So many times you have disappointed her so many times you have broken her heart yet she chose to forgive you. Why? Because she's a bomb.
Because of all this, he says, but she's a human being. She goes through stress as well as she goes through difficulties and hardship herself. Allah has given her tears to release some of that pain respect the tears of your mom's respect the chase of women.
We want understand this.
We want to really truly value this until the day where maybe your travel and your mom she's far away. Or maybe the day when your mom she's no longer there.
I feel the need.
I feel the need for a hug.
Can I get a hug?
Does God guy. No, you cannot let the guy I feel need what can I
do if you want please can you all stand up and hug each other. All of you stand up
Hadza good sisters, nobody wants to give hugs to each other You almost have to give hugs to each other challah is no it's very important is very important to eat right. We give hugs to each other.
There was this man
who was carrying his mother all the way from anybody from Yemen.
He came from Yemen, from Yemen, Jeff mercial Yemen al hikmah.
Hickman, the prophet Mohammed when he talks about the people from Yemen, he said the people of hikma the people of wisdom, the people of a man in an Imani Imani because the MST like when you say things like this, Imani. Imani will take my money. Well, I say the money cathartic for you man is the man the Prophet when he talks about people from Yemen. He says the man is the man of Yemen. And the Hikmah is the hikma of Yemen as well. So this net came all the way from Yemen. Imagine Yemen, carrying his mother on his shoulder, going from Yemen,
all the way to Makkah.
All the way to Mecca to perform Hajj. Karen his mother on his shoulder and then he goes around the house.
naked on his mom is on his shoulder again. And then when he finished the tawaf and everything who did he meet, he met Abdullah, the son of Mr. Malhotra. So he told him, this is my mom, this is what I did to her. Have I fulfilled her rights.
Have I given her her rights?
He says you have not fulfilled not even a single contraction of when she was giving birth to you. When she was giving birth, she was going through so much pain, and she was screaming up of pain to bring you out into this world. Have you ever seen someone who loved you before you were even born? She loved you before you were even born your mom. And he says she does this. And she wishes life for you.
And some of us do that. But we wish that for them.
Because this other man, he took his mother to
a place where they know that people didn't have washrooms, they will go to the woods and do their thing. So he took his mom, she did her thing. And then he washed her cleans her house, I fulfilled where right. He says
she used to do the same thing to you and your baby, changing your diaper and everything and you're screaming and you know, she did the same thing to you when you were a baby, but she was wishing life for you. And you're doing the same thing to her today. But you wish that for her because you're tired of cleaning her or feeding her, you're doing the same but you would wish to take her but she's doing the same she was doing the same God will
protect my son
to protect my son,
my son, so many times she stayed hungry at night to feed you first. And so many times she's not gonna sleep at night, making the effort because you were sick.
If you give him Shiva, take me or leave him.
Like that, for the mom for the children other than the mom, or this man, which is a true story. A man who has to go to the hospital because he had a problem with his with his hand. And then in the hospital after they told the doctor told him, You have two options. We have to amputate the hands, the arm the whole arm. It's got to be amputated. Otherwise, if you don't amputate the arm, the disease would spread and you may lose the other arm.
This is the you have to so you have to pay for the surgery. Or if you leave it, it's gonna cost you problems. How much does the surgery cost? He's told him the surgery cost this much. The man said it's alright. I prefer to leave my arm. Just leave it. I'm not gonna pay for the surgery. His kids came to him it's a true story. His kids came to him says Dad, you got the money to pay for your surgery. Save your arm. He says no. That money which I've been saving, it's not for me. It is for you.
Elder brother to go to school. This is the man who should have been saving so I can pay for his mother.
And Father, I wish to lose an arm, but to save my son and take him to school, who would do something like this other than a mom or a dad?
So yes, game, this man who took his mother on her shoulder, have I fulfilled her right? That you have not fulfilled not even a small contraction when she was giving birth to you. That's why I said, we will never know the value of our mothers of our parents. And here's why. I asked you not to stand up and give hugs. And I wish you give you gave hugs to your father. You did
it. Did you hug your mom? Did you? Did you have your mother's?
Did you give hugs to your mom's?
Yes, it's very important, very important.
Some of the fruits of the kindness of our parents
a way out of hardship and tribulations, this the very well known hadith of these three men who got, you know, who got stuck, you know, in this cave, they enter this cave, and there was this organism.
Three people or three people, they got blocked in this cave. And they started asking ALLAH, by virtue of their deeds they're making, to Allah by virtue of their deeds. They said, Let's make law by virtue of our deeds,
you know, can help us out and get out from here. And instead of making, you know, one of them made to Allah subhanho wa Taala, to do what she has done to, to, to some person and then the cave, you know, the rock that blocked him from the movie, and the one man made to Allah by virtue of his parents, you're upbeat this day, so and so. My parents were with me, and they were sleeping, and I only have this much food. So I was saving the food for my parents on my kids were crying, and they thought my wife to play with them after they fall asleep. Why? Because I wanted to feed my parents first. Until my parents woke up and he fed his parents first. If you know that, I did that for you
sake, get us out from here. And
and the rock moved by itself, that the the Doha by virtue of a good deed that you do towards your parents, this is what I'm saying. It's a way out of hardship and tribulations. If you're having any problems, at work.
Would you any problems could be at work with a friend with you know at home.
If your father if your mother still alive, rush, rush to them, go to them, do something to them, serve them as the father or Lyla de la ilaha illa who and again I'm certain By Allah, coming from a father or a mother, especially a mom, that would pave the road for you to show
that you are coming from a parent will pave the road for you to Shana. Like I said, you go through any hardship or whatnot. If your parents are alive, use them. Use them and you will see how Allah subhana wa tada slowly with remove that hardship that you may be going through. If you take an oath upon Allah, Allah will honor it a man again from Yemen. Always a colony. Very Winston It was
amazing man. Oh, I want to ask you a question.
Can I ask you a question? All right. I have to ask a question Even if you say no I would ask him
who wants to see Prophet Mohammed last?
All right, I'm gonna ask you my brother. Yes you if you have a chance to see Prophet Mohammed Salah lesson today in Medina
in Medina is there would you go and take a flight and fly to Medina to see Prophet Mohammed
without thinking right away? Why because you want to go and earn the title Sahabi man right you were gonna earn the title companion because you wouldn't believe or anybody a problem but your mother said no, don't go
Stay with me. I need you now would you go or would you stay on the sea or in the military don't fly because if you lie in the middle
what would you do my friend? Mom says stay Prophet Mohammed is in Medina is waiting is there
what would you do?
ask Allah to guide you ought to be guides me I was under this man. Take her let me go something like, guide me Allah. throw me away. Oh, anyway.
Yes, yes. This man actually he stood with his mom. He did not go from Yemen.
He stood because his mother needed. And here's another problem. When, when, when his mother passed away Prophet Muhammad was
he lost the title. Yet Prophet Muhammad, he knew what the story. So what did he say? He says, If you meet a man, he's describing him if you meet this man, always learning from him and asked him to make. Why because his dad is granted.
So he came in the era of alcohol. So many years later
in the era of the history of Omar Omar, he came after his mother passed away, he traveled to the US, we met him Rama,
Rama, Rama Rama, Rama Shireen from the 10 people who have given the gluttony Susannah already has the
agenda. He met him he says are you always Yes Are you always
you're always speak to us for me
as a hobby you should be making
the most when you meet me. For me I always make the I for me made for me because Prophet Mohammed says if you were to meet him ask him to make out why because his job is credited what earned him that his obedience to His mom
which is another key if you want a lot and see
that's why I'm saying if your mom she's still alive You're so lucky
you're so lucky but you don't understand that that that luck that you have that fortune when you leave it because she's there but you don't give that value. But if your mom she's already gone
and even tears will not be enough cry blood like this man from the past predecessors his mother passed away he was to cry all the time. Yeah he mother passed away make to have for her yes why you keep on crying he says How can I not cry? One of the gates who shall not just be locked before me the gates of heaven just be loved before me only only my mom my parents that gate
has just been closed before me is a gate of Shana Your mother is a is a gateway to Shana your parents is a gateway to Shana one of the gateways to your mother, your mother, your mother, I can't put any more focus on this. This is so important. You know about the importance of honoring the parents, especially.
Again, your mother, your mother, your mother.
Law lets our mums those who are alive and those who are that are just showing his mercy upon them.
The Prophet Mohammed it is such as them says it's highly potent vitamin D.
If anyone possesses these three characteristics, Allah will give them an easy that's which means you will have personal Fatima has Mahatma means a good end. Justin Fatima How can you earn Justin hajima the Prophet Mohammed Aslam says and bring him into Zhanna journalists towards the week affection towards the parents and kindness to the slaves. Well today there's no staves and you cannot be kindness that is most days affection towards the parents will earn you Justin Fatima good and because we don't know how our end will be my brothers and sisters will live we don't
some people have good end and some people have bad ends you know when we were in the in Omaha last in December, December was it
if some of you have not gone for Tesla yet, what are you waiting for? Go go go go now. Now don't even think of he don't think go
you know when they what happened after every sada in Mecca or Medina.
Every time after its Salah, they announced janaza janaza 23456 people janessa I happen to pray where they put Janelle is a one where they put the genetics at an eye so they bring the the buddies you know, and they saw some people who are covered. And they saw some people who are in there.
And their face was uncovered.
But others were covered. So I didn't understand why I was seated there. So here's a buddy next to you with and the face uncovered, and the other ones
covered in the trout. And then I realized this about myself. So thinking why
this man died what his inherent saying the baker lahoma bake once he died like that.
That's how you'd be buried
What an amazing and what an amazing Hatim
to die in such a state. There's sometimes some people who go there just gotta be I want to die there. Some people go to Medina just with the autopia wanna die Medina? You have to be one. Yeah the Prophet says so you know he says if you want to die in Medina, if you can die in Medina, but today in Medina, you have to live in Medina. Right. So, here the Prophet says, affection towards the parents will give you an easy death. Yeah, and you just don't hurt him.
Oh, it's default to them will raise their rents in general. What should I do to my parents? The Prophet Mohammed silverstream says
hello, it is in Bukhari again. And man, so his place high engine ranks was elevated ranks in general AI. And then he asked me how did I get so high? How'd they get this level? This never heard before. It was before the internet left. This is through the default of your son to you. To him, you know, this is to the default your son to you. Yeah, I need the more testify you make for your son asking to forgive him. The more you make for your father, the need when they pass away your mother when they pass will make it for them that will raise them high ranks in general.
If your parents have passed away,
have freedom because that Allah will raise them high levels in general.
You may ask what can I do for my parents, there's so much you can do if they're passed away. Something like always, or maybe performing hajj or Umrah on their behalf or giving sadaqa on their behalf or planting a tree on their behalf or building a well on the name on their behalf. This is sadaqa jariya
or they go to the pub and Abdullah who used to be in who used to serve and are his father's friends and he was asked that question. So he says I'm doing it to get close to good enough has enough to my father. Why because I'm serving his friends so he can get his senate so my father has a lot of law look at the understanding of Angola, the son of Rama These are some of the things that you can do for your parents if they have passed away but if they are alive I'm sick I'm sick I'm sick Be smart right now you know don't let it go the opportunities everyday everyday you know God as the father as them you know as them to make to have for you You never know we know that die will likely be again
like I said the way to be paid to Jelena insha Allah who tada and and just so you know I want to also mention the consequences quickly of this honoring the parents but you can tell me what time How much time do we have before Asia
just so I timed myself
20 minutes Aloha.
Further is added okay. We may get I've tried to keep that but if you if I squeeze it, it's okay. But
the consequences we need to understand this the consequences of dishonouring them
have been mean to them, of disobeying them. The Prophet Mohammed Salim says three times have eaten Buhari. This Hadith is narrated by Abu Bakr, Abu Bakr Siddiq, Abu Bakr ah
our I don't look at
Shall I tell you about the major since the major since the part of the Sahaba cdsl was tell us about the major sins he says. The first thing he says
this honoring the parents is considered to be a major sin because we have the concept of major and minor. This dishonouring the parents is considered to be major something major means it needs to hit fire. Well, like you could come with mountains of of charity. You could come with mountains of hash.
Yeah, yes. I know what I'm saying. You could come with mountains of hedges and charity and mountains of Uppsala.
Uppsala, but because you've been dishonouring the parents that person would be loser. There's another hadith of neuroma. he narrates how you reported.
And then they say that the Prophet Mohammed it says and says selasa
Kiana, three kinds of people, who now look at them in a judgment which means they will be mostly losers, you may come across with mountains, mountains, mountains of goods, but Allah will will not look at them. Why? You know, the Prophet says three of them the kinds of people who Allah will not look at them in any of judgment. Never one
You led the first one. And after you were the one who just ordered his parents, it doesn't matter what good did you do? It doesn't matter what what you know, what, what do you do? What are you do what? Why so Why cry?
If you have this honor your parents, all that thing will be of no good to you.
Because of the parents, who said prophet muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, you may say shift, but they're gone now. And I was so bad. What can I do to make up
Toba? First of all, of course, Toba and do the things which I have said, die for them is defined, do some charity on their behalf, charity on their behalf. You know, Amara has, you know, build a tree somewhere or, or any tree have a tutorial tree or, or the well somewhere on their behalf so that people are drinking from that water. And then every time they drink, the actual goes to your parents, there's so many things that you can do. Again, another thing that will be the consequence of discerning the parents, the provision from genda. Of course, the provision you have preventing yourself from entering gender. And remember my brothers and sisters, remember the saying that says
what goes around comes around in Arabic we say if I mess it does the provinces do to them? If
whatever goes around comes around, you know, that means Have you ever heard whatever it goes around comes around? What however you treat your parents today, Allah may bless you or afflict you with kids that will treat you exactly the same. Well, we've seen it with our own eyes and
with our own eyes, there's so many examples.
What goes around comes around. So we need to rethink inshallah Tada, and reassess, you know, your treatment to your parents, your vision and your parents and try to strengthen that relationship before it's too late. My brothers and sisters
the children have any rights I need to move to the children just to be fair, or lilla. Fair.
Parents, who are parents here? Raise your hands, parents, parents?
Do our children have any rights?
Do they have rights?
Do we say this to them? Or they are or who? Who define these rights?
It's them define the rights. All right, let's talk about them.
Let me ask you some questions that our children have any rights before we were just something to think about inshallah. Tada. All right.
Again, eventually we want to improve our relationship with our children.
Do you spend quality time with your kids?
quality time? Yes, we do. We all sit and watch TV. And you know, take the most control make disappear. And the kids are there? You know, under that quality time? You know, with the kids. You spend think think think think think? Do you spend quality time with your kids?
How do you talk to your kids? My brother? How do you talk to your kids? Do you talk? Do you have any kids? Mashallah, do you talk to him? him or her? Her? Okay? Do you talk to her or at her?
to her? How'd you talk?
Is it like a no? Well, I was giving a lecture just like this and a long time ago with another method. And then this, one of my students came to me he said, shilada My father had this big issue. My mother wants me to marry this girl. Oh, we do that. I'm gonna I'm gonna kick something here. Now. You know, my mother wants me to marry this my cousin from back home. But
I don't want to marry her.
I don't want to marry her. He says.
But my mother, she insists. And his father was there and his father in law school students of mine used to come to me.
So I call the father's Come come or the son is saying you know what this is? So yes. If it's not me, what was the man
in the father mosquito?
Man is a good friend is a good man. is a good man.
is a good man.
So his mom is saying if you don't marry her, the mummy saying she's going to commit suicide.
Well, this is like you know she wants to die because it this marriage has to happen is a family thing.
When your father comes, he says you either mother, your cousin, Fatima or your cousin Fatima. I'm giving you two options. Choose one
He already gave you two options. Fatima Fatima, the same girl.
So how can we talk at our kids? I'm your dad. You listen to me. I'm your mom. You listen to me. You I know. You do not know. I know. You don't know just how we talk to them.
I'm just trying to raise some questions in some of the kids and some of the youth already smiling. Maybe because this is something is happening there.
Do you play with your kids? You have fun with them. You have fun with your parents?
Yeah, yeah. What kind of fun?
play sports or cricket?
Basketball are really your father. Okay, shoot some hoops with your father.
Are you teaching? Mashallah, yeah, it's alright. Does your father play?
I didn't ask you, man. I asked. You can? Because the father said yes. No, no, I'm asking him. The father.
3d face what kind of games?
You don't know.
Because your father said yes. He said he has metal I forgive you.
Something like this?
Do you give praise to children when they do something good. You know, you praise them and give them encouragement, smash all Lakota 11. Things like our whatever. They tried to do something and then they fail. And then you just give it to them. And on the other hand, your failure this you're not you can never do something good. You know, you're just you're the
one. You give them some praise.
You always insist all Yeah.
You always insist on having the last word. You can't lie about this man.
The wife? No, I'm talking about the kids. The wife. She's the boss, man. Come on, man.
you always insist on having the last word?
You always insist on having the last word.
Yes, sometimes, but all the time.
Sometimes, even if you're wrong.
I'm never wrong. I'm at that.
Think just think.
Here's some of the after talking to the lot of youth and kids, you know, so I collected some information from them as to what is really wrong, you know, what do they complain about? Some of the things they complain about. They say my parents do not understand me one of the most complaints I hear about from the youth. My parents don't understand me. They don't understand where I'm coming from. I go to school. Yeah. You know, understand is not speaking the language. You know, they speak your language reading is another language that we need to talk to in order to understand the language of our kids. They don't understand they've totally no clue of what I'm going through. They
don't understand me, here's one complaint. Another complaint is they do not have time for me.
Mom, her time is the kitchen or the mirror. The mirror you know the mirror, he wishes front of the mirror 24 seven, you know the mascara or whatever, you know data in the mirror and or kitchen. Well, I will have friends who are outside you know town the Father, the father thinks he's a Minister of Finance.
He's you know, thing is to come and pay the bills. He comes from work, you know, it's busy, he gets a bite to eat goes again take the most control and make the severe you know with it, you know, flipping channels watching TV, and then it goes to sleep. I've gotten out there nobody got time for me. You know, I'm busy work. You know, they're busy. I'm busy. I'm also in my room. Or in my room on my tablet or my phone. Like sometimes I see parents with the children in restaurants, right? We go sometimes, and we see them. It's a time where you're supposed to be together and talk together to one another whatnot. She's in her phone, the kid is on a phone.
And then the person looking at each other in the guise that the girls are
chatting and I don't know what they're doing on their phone. And then when the food comes, they eat and then on the phone even you people do that. Because
you do that.
One time I was calling my daughter. And my wife said and she didn't answer because she was in the my daughter. My wife said text her
finger loving my house. I call she has to come by finish and I call it we start talking with text.
Mama What do you want Baba I want to talk to you. You know we're talking
I cannot permit that in my house. I can only know
how to send you a message Bob please wake me up by that send their messages. I woke you up and
stuck with me. Sometimes our kids need to grow and not to grow up and we need to grow up as well.
I need a role model at home but I cannot find one.
I can't find one here.
Another complaint I get from the kids. I cannot find the role model what happens? You know, my mom, you know, I go to school, you know, my mother, she doesn't,
you know, my father.
But my father,
my mother doesn't wake up. I heard about the importance of coming to the message. No, but my parents don't come to the masjid, you know, so I don't I don't have a role model. I'm confused. I don't even know because I'm learning something and then at home, I'm seeing something different. I'm confused. Sometimes we confuse our own children. You want to make a dent and then we can come we can
because I still have a few more items to finish quickly inshallah.
we make it before some of the vape shop.
I left professional lying at home, is another complaint. I know that from some of the youth and kids, I say always my mother lied to my father, my father, like my mother, you know. And so I learned like from home.
You're wondering why I'm not praying, why there's nobody praying at home, is why don't pray is another thing I got from the Why am I not married till now because my father gave me two options to marry my cousin or my cousin, same one.
from back home.
Thanks to TV and facade, book movies and bad company for all the bad characters that I have is another company that I got from the kids.
My role models are celebrities in sports and movies. Who's your role model really mean? Not like?
role model? Yeah. And you have a person that that you use as a role model?
Nobody? Who's your role model? Nobody? Who's a role model?
You Who's your role model? Your mom? Yes, he is he? He shows.
A lot of people don't say that.
Why I don't understand why my father's main concern that I must be physician or an engineer, or from the hand family.
Gotta be a doctor or engineer or a doctor, be a doctor or a doctor in the fan family. The current you have to be a doctor, a doctor.
My parents have no clue to the challenges facing me is another thing I got from even when Allah guided me, my father is against me attending. So when a beard, you know, when he's young, my father, my mother, you know, he's just this is all together. My father wants me to shave my beard. Oh, my mother wants me to remove my sister. She read something to me long time ago. You know, my mother is coming all the way from back home. Traveling to Canada. She's crying this girl. She heard I'm wearing hijab. She just heard I started wearing hijab, she's took a flight all the way to come and beat me up.
Because I'm wearing hijab, you know, look at this.
My mother does not want me to wear this is after I marry. Here's another thing showing.
inshallah, once you get married, because he thought if you wish now, nobody will marry you. Nobody. You look ugly.
Well wait until you do get married and then you can get married.
What are the rights of the children? This is taken from the law know when a man came to him? Right? A man came to me. He says, Yeah, I mean,
my son, my son does not respect me does not honor me. So he says, Let me call your son. I want to talk to him. And then the son says, Yeah, I mean, what meaning I know my father has rights upon me. Do I have any rights upon my father? He says yes. So send me what on my rice of my father. It says you're right over your father is number one. He has to pick a good name for you. He has to choose a good mom for you. And then he has to teach you. And he has to teach you Dean. He has to teach you Dean. He says yeah, I mean, how about if I tell you that my father did not do none of these? The mom my mom, she doesn't care. The name he picks for me is not a good name. And then he did not teach me
local and no Dino nothing. He doesn't even care. And then he told the boy, the man he says, you have this honored your kid before he dishonored you. You have this honored him. So kids, our children, they have rights upon us and we need to understand and assume those rights before Allah subhanho wa Taala. We come before him in the day of judgment and we'd be held from our back or liable from our neck.
From our neck we'd be held the children that have been held in responsible, my father is responsible, my mother is responsible, we're not responsible. So this is something that we need to really really, you know, understand and quickly shallow tell us that we can end this, you know, if you want to improve and energize that relationship with your parents lead by example, you know, either our akuna mme mme you know, if you want to be the Imam be in the front. So, you need to learn how to lead by example, as the Prophet Mohammed Salah is the most big emotion to towards your children, when was the last time you told your child that you love him?
You know, when was the last time you told him I love you does your father's energy
he said that really really when was the last time he said last year
you tell the children that you love them, you try a fish try he has to do it. You know, you tell your children that you love them. Please This is very important. Very very important. Well like they say that you know even the the the the experts in this field of children pedagogy, they say our children they are in need of more than money that we give them more than the food that we feed them they need our affection they need our love. They need you to tell them tell them how much you care and how much you love them. They really understand that and they really value it You may not see it you may not understand it but really for them it makes a very very very you know it's so important
molecular mode is behind which they
they have a shallow tada You know, there's a lot more to say maybe some of the time we can you know, share that with you be in the land shot low Tara, but you know, in a nutshell at the end, as we talked about parents, we have to talk about the children and you know, what we want is inshallah huhtala to improve this relationship. So that in sha Allah who Tara wants to go together to generate our children in it cannot have a father Mashallah who's in the high level in Jenna and the child is is not all the child is in general the father is not what we want to ensure Lodi to improve that relationship. He didn't dystonia. Allah subhanaw taala Mikko homes I just can I pray that make your
homes like the homes of the Prophet Mohammed inshallah Allah asked a lot make your homes like the homes of the Sahaba I ask Allah to bless your homes and bless your loved ones and Allah to put you know, to bless your health and wealth, I ask Allah Subhana Allah Allah to grant you all when your children and your loved ones, the highest level engineers say I mean, may Allah bless you all Zakouma here. Thank you for coming in honoring us with your presence. Balak Hello FICO subhanak along Hendrick Chevrolet