Reda Bedeir – Anger Management

Reda Bedeir
AI: Summary © The negative impact of anger management in Islam can be a result of negative behavior and can lead to various personal experiences. The importance of control and seeking advice is emphasized, along with avoiding negative consequences. The need for gender diversity and diversity in society is also emphasized, and the importance of managing one's anger is emphasized. Consciousness and using anger management are also emphasized, along with guidance on how to deal with one's anger.
AI: Transcript ©
00:00:05 --> 00:00:10

In Alhamdulillah Mundo monastery in hora de wanna start

00:00:12 --> 00:00:16

when the villa Himanshu Rory unforeseen amin se Marina

00:00:18 --> 00:00:23

the hill, fellow mobula my little fella

00:00:25 --> 00:00:26

white shadow

00:00:27 --> 00:00:31

Illa Illa la de la sharika

00:00:32 --> 00:00:38

why shadow Mohammed and Navajo Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam assylum

00:00:39 --> 00:00:42

about in Decatur law.

00:00:43 --> 00:00:52

Well higher on Howdy, howdy Mohammed in Salalah Holly who seldom will shovel more data to her akula

00:00:54 --> 00:00:57

akula Dothan Bala akula de la Latin,

00:00:59 --> 00:01:05

America, Humberto phila OC C'mon FC bitok Juan la has our journey.

00:01:10 --> 00:01:11


00:01:12 --> 00:01:14

that you are walking

00:01:16 --> 00:01:23

in the desert, in a place where wild animals live, where snakes are around.

00:01:25 --> 00:01:29

And you are surrounded by lots of snakes.

00:01:31 --> 00:01:34

What is it that you would be scared of?

00:01:36 --> 00:01:44

Most probably people would say, the bite of a snake or the bite of a scorpion.

00:01:46 --> 00:01:53

If you're familiar with scuba diving, when people do this and go to the depths of the water,

00:01:54 --> 00:01:59

and if you were to ask them what scares you the most, they're gonna say the shark.

00:02:00 --> 00:02:02

And they will tell you it's not the shark.

00:02:03 --> 00:02:10

It's the box jellyfish, which is almost seven foot long. And if it bites you,

00:02:12 --> 00:02:21

most likely the poison that will go into your blood will not give you enough time to come back to the shore or life.

00:02:23 --> 00:02:25

So why am I giving this analogy?

00:02:27 --> 00:02:28


00:02:29 --> 00:02:31

what really matters is not the bias.

00:02:33 --> 00:02:36

It's the poison that runs into your blood

00:02:38 --> 00:02:50

and for the sake of the hook, but today I'm going to talk about a title of poison that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam warned this oma

00:02:52 --> 00:02:54

to be careful about

00:02:55 --> 00:03:04

So again, it's not the incident. It's not the bite. It's the poison that runs into your blood and the reaction to that.

00:03:08 --> 00:03:19

Because today, if you were to see how they depict a Muslim, there will always be somebody who's angry. Somebody who's frowning.

00:03:23 --> 00:03:35

And the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam according to say Muslim from the hadith of obey the law in the Hadith. Maria NBU Salalah alayhi wa sallam in Lamb of Teshima

00:03:36 --> 00:03:44

learn to interact Mahatma Allah, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was always seen smiling.

00:03:45 --> 00:03:51

unless Allah subhanaw taala disobeyed, then the pastor seldom will get angry.

00:03:55 --> 00:04:01

It's amazing that Allah subhanho wa Taala tests us in this life

00:04:03 --> 00:04:21

and some of us do not realize the meaning of that test. And one of these tests Allah subhana wa Taala mentioned in sortal for con, so number 25 and number 20, Allah subhana wa Taala said, What

00:04:23 --> 00:04:25

about in fitna at us

00:04:27 --> 00:04:29

and we made you

00:04:30 --> 00:04:32

as a test

00:04:33 --> 00:04:37

for one another, would you be patient.

00:04:38 --> 00:04:40

So this is one time of the tests.

00:04:42 --> 00:04:48

Sometimes when we are amongst our friends who are very patient, and we're smiling,

00:04:49 --> 00:04:51

but once you go home,

00:04:52 --> 00:04:53

the way you treat your wife,

00:04:55 --> 00:04:59

the way you treat your husband, the way you treat your children.

00:05:00 --> 00:05:13

It's mostly angry as if you are picking for something wrong. Some extra salt in the food, some extra sugar in the drink and you pick up an argument.

00:05:14 --> 00:05:20

And Allah Subhana Allah is telling us what Jana Baba calmly bobbin fitna.

00:05:21 --> 00:05:22

atoss B roll

00:05:23 --> 00:05:25

would you be patient?

00:05:26 --> 00:05:32

So the poison that I want to talk about today is anger.

00:05:33 --> 00:05:51

So we're going to talk about anger management in Islam. How many homes how many families have been destroyed because of anger? How many people get divorced because of anger? How many relationships have been cut off because of anger?

00:05:54 --> 00:06:01

Today, we're going to learn from the profits of the La Jolla seldom the best strategies of anger management.

00:06:03 --> 00:06:08

So to start with the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was sitting

00:06:09 --> 00:06:11

with the Sahaba. And he was teaching them

00:06:13 --> 00:06:17

and he asked them a question. Matter aduna Shadi, Chico,

00:06:19 --> 00:06:22

who do you consider the strongest one amongst you?

00:06:23 --> 00:06:37

And the Sahaba answer Exactly. If I were to ask you the same question right now, amongst the audience here. Who do you consider the strongest person, you're going to say somebody with biceps, somebody who's masculine.

00:06:39 --> 00:06:40

A shadow

00:06:41 --> 00:06:45

is somebody who knocks people out and nobody can not come out.

00:06:46 --> 00:06:55

Color. The professor salon started clarifying that misconception, he said, in a machete.

00:06:59 --> 00:07:10

He says a strong person is the one who knows how to control himself or herself. When they are angry, that's a strong person.

00:07:12 --> 00:07:29

And you can rarely find such type of people today. We snap in a second. We snap for many trivial reasons. We snap sometimes, without verifying the news that we heard.

00:07:31 --> 00:07:41

And this is why the Prophet salallahu alaihe salam is teaching the Sahaba he said, when you're angry, you need to control yourself.

00:07:42 --> 00:07:47

A man came to the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, and the Hadith

00:07:48 --> 00:07:51

in Sahih, Al Bukhari from the Hadith.

00:07:53 --> 00:08:02

And he asked the Prophet salallahu alayhi wa sallam for advice, would you like an advice by the process alum, the man came and he said,

00:08:03 --> 00:08:05

Give me a piece of advice.

00:08:06 --> 00:08:10

All he said, was one word. He said blah,

00:08:13 --> 00:08:14


00:08:17 --> 00:08:18

blah, he said.

00:08:20 --> 00:08:26

The man asked for advice many times and the processor did not add except

00:08:28 --> 00:08:31

do not make angry characteristic.

00:08:32 --> 00:08:37

Do not get angry right away without knowing why you're angry for

00:08:41 --> 00:08:42

Subhana Allah.

00:08:44 --> 00:08:47

Some people wrote a book about this honey.

00:08:49 --> 00:09:07

When they dig deep into one of the biggest problem and this oma today, somebody snaps, he divorces his wife, somebody snaps he might kill someone at a point of anger. Somebody snaps he might cut off his kinship

00:09:08 --> 00:09:14

just by hearing some news. And he would just get angry, get mad, say something and that's it.

00:09:16 --> 00:09:17


00:09:19 --> 00:09:20


00:09:21 --> 00:09:21

I shot

00:09:24 --> 00:09:32

a scar on the heart, because of a word that comes out of your mouth is worse than a cut by a knife.

00:09:34 --> 00:09:45

Because the cuts by the life will take some time and it will heal. But the scar on the heart will always be brought back to memory every time you remember it.

00:09:49 --> 00:09:55

So the Prophet sallallahu Sallam is teaching that Sahabi given him a very important piece of advice.

00:09:56 --> 00:09:57

Do not

00:09:58 --> 00:09:59

get angry.

00:10:00 --> 00:10:03

Try almost to control yourself.

00:10:06 --> 00:10:06


00:10:08 --> 00:10:12

And another Hadith narrated by Abdullah live and msoa insight

00:10:16 --> 00:10:18

that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam

00:10:19 --> 00:10:20

told us,

00:10:21 --> 00:10:22

he said,

00:10:32 --> 00:10:33

for Obamacare, and it's our

00:10:36 --> 00:10:40

first job alone, he had a dog outcome a call sallallahu alayhi wa sallam.

00:10:42 --> 00:10:48

How many of us today when we have an argument at home, especially I'm picking on

00:10:49 --> 00:10:59

the marital issues? Because this is rampant everywhere in every house. You started argument? What does the wife say right away?

00:11:00 --> 00:11:01

May Allah curse you.

00:11:04 --> 00:11:06

May Allah make you divorce me?

00:11:07 --> 00:11:09

If you're a man, divorce me now.

00:11:10 --> 00:11:11


00:11:12 --> 00:11:20

what happens. shaitan is there. And the man says to her, please stop it. You said no. You see,

00:11:21 --> 00:11:30

this young man he was he was divorced me. And then he would say you're divorced. Because he responded to that anger with anger to

00:11:31 --> 00:11:45

what happens, the children get lost. And they easily come to the environment say we were angry, thinking that all types of anger will be an excuse for them, and that divorce will not be valid.

00:11:49 --> 00:11:53

Sometimes when we're angry with our children, we curse them.

00:11:54 --> 00:12:01

We make against them, you're gonna take them away. Your life can't stand living with them anymore.

00:12:04 --> 00:12:09

And the firm said, Never ever do this. Because it could be a time when

00:12:13 --> 00:12:21

you will cry your eyes out for the rest of your life. And nothing will change because you're the one who asked for this. And I'm like, give it to you.

00:12:22 --> 00:12:39

This way, the boss said, Do not make against your own selves do not make against your own wealth. Sometimes you're putting all your clothing and the buttons cannot be done. You curse your clothing during the meaning of cursing.

00:12:41 --> 00:12:50

cursing means to decide that something will be excluded from the mercy of Allah. Do you have control over this? You're a transgressor

00:12:54 --> 00:12:54


00:12:58 --> 00:13:00

you're transgressing your boundaries with Allah.

00:13:02 --> 00:13:07

You might curse your shoes, you're trying to put on your shoes, you're in a rush. You don't know how.

00:13:08 --> 00:13:16

And then you curse your shoes. How come that you're wearing shoes or curse and don't really deserve to be cursed.

00:13:18 --> 00:13:20

The Prophet sallallahu Sallam according to

00:13:21 --> 00:13:24

a Muslim, he was traveling with a group of people.

00:13:26 --> 00:13:27

And there was a man

00:13:28 --> 00:13:35

and they wanted to resume their traveling. And the man started to talk to the camera and the camera wouldn't move.

00:13:36 --> 00:13:38

And then he started cursing the company said

00:13:44 --> 00:13:48

hold on, stop. Leave the comment.

00:13:51 --> 00:13:54

Don't run with us with an animal that's cursed.

00:13:57 --> 00:14:00

It's very easy. The people curse today.

00:14:02 --> 00:14:08

I have lived in some parts of the world. The easiest thing on the tongue of a person to say

00:14:10 --> 00:14:15

is the person that you are saying that does not deserve it. It will come back to you.

00:14:17 --> 00:14:28

Do you have the mercy of Allah? Are you in control of that when you say means exclude you from his mercy. There was a man who said to his own brother.

00:14:33 --> 00:14:37

forgive you. Allah subhanho wa sallam

00:14:40 --> 00:14:47

who is the person who's making himself as if his God is he in control of my forgiveness.

00:14:59 --> 00:14:59

bear witness

00:15:00 --> 00:15:02

Forgive his brother, and he will end up in hellfire.

00:15:06 --> 00:15:07

So we need to control our anger.

00:15:09 --> 00:15:16

It leads to very bad stuff. And again, I'm going to go back to the relationship between the husband and the wife.

00:15:18 --> 00:15:25

A wife was saying to her husband, listen, if you don't divorce me, I will commit suicide.

00:15:26 --> 00:15:36

So the man wanted to save her life isn't your divorce? Then she started crying. Did he divorce me? He said yes. Because you're gonna kill yourself,

00:15:37 --> 00:15:38

testing you.

00:15:42 --> 00:15:44

And she ended up being divorce.

00:15:45 --> 00:15:46

This is why we should not get

00:15:48 --> 00:15:49

to these issues.

00:15:50 --> 00:15:53

And exercise is not again.

00:15:55 --> 00:15:56

It's a very strong bond.

00:16:04 --> 00:16:29

So we need to understand that when the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, when the women complained this a prophet of Allah, you always sit with the men, and you admonished them, and you keep teaching them? Why don't you make some time of your time for us? So they sat with them. And he was teaching them. He said to them, a tequila failure, it could not

00:16:31 --> 00:16:38

be conscious of Allah. Because when I looked into Hellfire, I saw that the majority of people who are women,

00:16:39 --> 00:16:56

and women get mad when they hear this. He's not talking about his own my song about women in general, from the time of Adam till the end of life. And this is why the companions, the women amongst the companions were very positive. Right away. They said, Why?

00:16:58 --> 00:17:01

Why? Why are the majority of women out and have fun?

00:17:03 --> 00:17:07

He said two reasons. First one is in the corner.

00:17:08 --> 00:17:14

Again, he said, you always are cussing, and cursing, and you're dissatisfied.

00:17:17 --> 00:17:19

So let's try to avoid this.

00:17:20 --> 00:17:30

Because when we try to ask them to act and snap, what happens? As I said, it's always negative.

00:17:31 --> 00:17:35

It's always negative. And some people can easily snap.

00:17:37 --> 00:17:39

Just by hearing something they easily snap.

00:17:41 --> 00:17:44

Let me ask you a question. Why are you coming to Juma?

00:17:46 --> 00:17:53

What's the ultimate goal of everybody listening to me, Tony, the speaker himself, the ultimate goal of all of us is gender.

00:17:56 --> 00:18:05

So if you want, one of the characteristics of the people of gender, is they control themselves when they're angry, do not snap.

00:18:09 --> 00:18:16

And we all and I shared this many times. But I'm going to repeat it again. Because it's the right time to repeat this again.

00:18:17 --> 00:18:18

But this is a new story.

00:18:20 --> 00:18:24

On my grandma, he had a maid

00:18:25 --> 00:18:35

and she came with a bowl that was full of very hot broth. Very hot, you know, dream

00:18:38 --> 00:18:39

was a soup.

00:18:40 --> 00:18:40

And she's

00:18:41 --> 00:18:46

a she put the whole soup on, Headmaster.

00:18:49 --> 00:18:50

So he got mad.

00:18:51 --> 00:19:01

But Subhana Allah, this is the difference between them. And us today. When they were reminded by the book of Allah, they would listen. And they would say,

00:19:03 --> 00:19:07

today, speak to somebody who's on, hold on.

00:19:09 --> 00:19:17

Try to control you and they say, listen, stay away from the Parana. Let's finish this fight. Let's finish this argument.

00:19:22 --> 00:19:23

But then,

00:19:24 --> 00:19:39

that means he was a good Muslim. So she started reminding him by one of the characteristics of the Muslim which is patience. When something like this happens. She started reminding me that one of the qualities of the people who

00:19:40 --> 00:19:40

I mentioned

00:19:42 --> 00:19:46

when I add 1332136 she started telling him

00:19:52 --> 00:19:57

it's time to swallow your anger. A lot of love saying By the way,

00:20:00 --> 00:20:01

To Moana,

00:20:02 --> 00:20:05

there is a big difference between love and volume.

00:20:07 --> 00:20:10

Because Allah subhana wa Taala

00:20:13 --> 00:20:16

referred to himself that he feels angry.

00:20:18 --> 00:20:34

But he never mentioned wise to himself subhanho wa Taala because wise is the blood that go into your heart and brain when you hear something wrong, but sometimes it might. It might be wrong,

00:20:35 --> 00:20:47

it might be a lie, then it will be too late for you to regress. And this is why Allah subhana wa Taala mentioned in Surah. Number 49.

00:20:48 --> 00:20:54

Number six, and he's addressing no one is addressing the believers. It says yeah.

00:21:05 --> 00:21:05


00:21:07 --> 00:21:14

somebody that you know that he does not respect the law, somebody who's used to lie, he comes to you with a piece of news.

00:21:16 --> 00:21:19

Verify first and to Cebu calm and

00:21:20 --> 00:21:27

because you might harm other people out of ignorance, because he's not very fine photos.

00:21:30 --> 00:21:33

You will become regretful but it's gonna be too late.

00:21:36 --> 00:21:37

So what happened?

00:21:38 --> 00:21:42

When the woman who knows the Koran she reminded her master

00:21:45 --> 00:21:49

and those who swallow she say hi,

00:21:51 --> 00:21:53

fuming feeling of

00:21:56 --> 00:22:02

control or curb, as the translation says, of the meaning of the wrong, no.

00:22:03 --> 00:22:20

Means you swallow, you don't even show anger in your face. As I told you last time, when you're chewing food, what happens? I can tell the child eating something. But as if, when you get angry, do not show that

00:22:21 --> 00:22:23

in your face, just swallow it.

00:22:25 --> 00:22:27

And the man, my

00:22:28 --> 00:22:29

cousin toy,

00:22:30 --> 00:22:36

I listen to Allah, I swallow my anger. But you continue with

00:22:38 --> 00:22:43

us and those who forgive and erase it from the heart.

00:22:44 --> 00:22:45

She said

00:22:47 --> 00:22:48

but she continued.

00:22:52 --> 00:22:52


00:22:56 --> 00:22:59

then he said to her is

00:23:01 --> 00:23:06

that that's that's all I can do to you go you're free for the sake of Allah.

00:23:07 --> 00:23:12

This is how they used to react when they are reminded by the Quran.

00:23:14 --> 00:23:15

Allah Allah Allah

00:23:30 --> 00:23:31


00:23:33 --> 00:23:35

wa Salatu was Salam ala

00:23:38 --> 00:23:39

Why should one

00:23:44 --> 00:23:50

Why should one Mohammed bin Abu Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam

00:23:54 --> 00:24:13

who sukumar FCB taco la has origin and I will conclude with two things. A question and some solutions to anger. The question is, is all anger negative? Could there be some anger which is positive? The answer is yes.

00:24:14 --> 00:24:20

There could be anger which is positive and the processor Lam taught us. I shall do

00:24:21 --> 00:24:27

according to Muslim. She has been reported that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam

00:24:31 --> 00:24:32

man Melania

00:24:33 --> 00:24:34

won't be

00:24:35 --> 00:24:36

enough see.

00:24:40 --> 00:24:59

When the Prophet salallahu alaihe salam was given a choice between two things, he will always choose the easier of them as long as it's not disobedience to Allah subhana wa Tada. And he never got angry for himself, except when it was disobeyed, but how can we

00:25:02 --> 00:25:04

Change through anger.

00:25:05 --> 00:25:29

How can we rectify What's wrong? When we are angry for the sake of Allah, we can never change. By being angry or through anger itself. We have to choose the best way to deal with the situation. And I'm going to give you the tips how the process lm dealt with anger and will conclude in Sharla. First tip,

00:25:31 --> 00:25:50

how to deal with anger. Always try to compare the situation that you are in and what made you angry, and other people who are in a situation that's worse than yours. The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was accused by a bidwill

00:25:51 --> 00:25:57

that he is dealing with the money of the Muslims and justly

00:25:58 --> 00:26:02

What did he say? He said, Rahim Allah Masha, Allah

00:26:06 --> 00:26:14

Subhana Allah when the prophet and who is he is the man of the soma. He was accused by one

00:26:15 --> 00:26:29

of the big ones, that he's dealing with the money of the Muslims unjustly. He says, may Allah have mercy on my brother Moosa. He was accused by worse than this, and he was patient.

00:26:30 --> 00:26:47

So compare the situation that you are in with someone else, you know, some people if you don't have food is sorry, if you don't have lots of food, some people do not have food. If you lost one family member, look at your brothers and sisters in Syria, they might have lost all their family.

00:26:49 --> 00:27:20

So always compare the situation. So that will make you control yourself, and you will be more patient. Second tip the processor taught us when you're angry, there was a man who almost exploded because of his anger and the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam said, I know a statement. If that man were to say that anger will go away from him. They said what is it prophet of Allah. He said if he said our Billahi min ash shaytani r rajim. Because anger comes from shaitan.

00:27:22 --> 00:28:00

So this is my tip for the brothers and sisters, when you go home and you want to pick up a fight with your wife, because of the more salt in the food, or the more sugar in the drink before you do this. Just remember what the prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, you know, at least you have food in front of you say Alhamdulillah my brothers and sisters in Syria or in other parts of the world, they don't have food, then control your anger and compare your situation to them. So hamdulillah at least I have some food or drink in front of me. Again, if it doesn't stop right there.

00:28:01 --> 00:28:06

Ask your wife before the argument starts. And remind yourself by saying that

00:28:09 --> 00:28:53

it should end up right there. Again, as she gets hold of you, and you think the argument will continue. Next step the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said under comes from shaitan and shaitan is made of fire and it's only water that extinguishes fire when you're angry go and make will do. So tell your wife I'm going to go and make mobile first would you be better than me to follow the Sunnah of the Prophet Salim and go and make odo take it seriously. I have tried this at home and it works. But do it out of belief that you respect the Sunnah of the Prophet Salim because today we are reminded of dyad we are reminded of the Hadees but we still let shaitan control us and

00:28:53 --> 00:29:01

we get angry and we destroy so many relations. So go back to the center of the process. And this is the main essence of

00:29:03 --> 00:29:13

anger management. Again, it should end up right there when you make because you will call down if it doesn't end up continuing with the

00:29:17 --> 00:29:17


00:29:18 --> 00:29:43

Ask your wife ask whoever you're fighting with, say sit down still if it continues if it doesn't end up to the person to lie on the ground. And that's what the process of them said. You know, at some point will lie it will end but believe in the Sunnah of the Prophet. He tried them. Many he will try them. It will work out.

00:29:50 --> 00:29:52

Hola Maria de Lucia feta.

00:29:56 --> 00:29:57

Walla Walla

00:29:59 --> 00:29:59


00:30:08 --> 00:30:09


00:30:12 --> 00:30:12


00:30:16 --> 00:30:17


00:30:20 --> 00:30:21


00:30:25 --> 00:30:29

to a foreigner Latina sobre punto de man, Allah.

00:30:36 --> 00:30:36


00:30:40 --> 00:30:48

Allah Allah mi fi Surya faustin obor Maleficent equally McCarren, Salafi muslimeen Allah,

00:30:49 --> 00:30:49


00:30:53 --> 00:30:55

Allah, Allah, Allah Muhammad Allah Allah

Share Page

Related Episodes