Channel: Omar Suleiman
What’s in a name? Sh. Omar Suleiman discusses the etiquette of how we deal with one another from the prohibition of mockery of names outlined in Surat al-Hujaraat to the names we give our children.
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We begin by praising Allah, bearing witness that nun has the right to be worshipped or unconditionally obeyed except for him. We bear witness that Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam as his final messenger, we asked a lot to send his peace and blessings upon him. Those prophets and messengers that came before him, his family and companions that served alongside of him and those that follow in their blasted path until the day of judgment. And we asked a lot to make us amongst them a lot more. I mean, the brothers and sisters, there's an interesting portion inserted hoogenraad where Allah is giving us the etiquettes of how we deal with one another. And there are
the familiar themes that often come up when we're speaking about those injunctions and what kinds of commands So typically, if you ask someone, to quote sort of 200, or what comes out of that story, or of that sutra, you'll hear the common themes of not backbiting a loss penalty telling us that after about a local bar, that we don't back by one another, that we don't spy on one another, that we don't slander one another, that we don't belittle one another. But there's a very interesting portion where loss of Hannah Montana starts off immediately after talking about this idea of mockery as a whole, which is the broader concept that then breaks into the specifics that Allah subhanaw
taala prohibits us from when Allah says it is common man comesa and Yakumo Hydra min home, what a nice man, NASA and NASA could not hide our men when when a lost Karnataka says let not one group of men be little another group of men because they might be better than them. And let not one group of women belittle another group of women, because they may be better than them. When you belittle someone or when you mock someone you do. So coming from a place of arrogance, it's a natural expression that you see that person as beneath you, and ally reminds you that by the way, that person that you're mocking might actually be better than you, you might be mocking them for a bad
quality that they actually have. But the good quality that they have, that you don't, or the bad quality that you have that they don't make them better than you. And you might be putting them down or you belittle them for something that is not actually shameful, but is a shameful expression of your own arrogance. So you put them down because of something that they have, that Allah created them with that's unchangeable, or their race or whatever it may be. Right? These are some of the reasons why people would mock or their poverty, all of these different things. But Allah says what attending the zoo and full circle while at an ABA zoo.
Don't insult each other. And Allah specifically says when at an ABA zoo, do not use nicknames, or offensive nicknames when referring to one another. Now, typically speaking, this seems a little more uncommon than backbiting or gossip or things that we're used to using offensive nicknames. And why is it that a lot of times it would actually put it there. So Central, if you want to know what it looks like to use cruel nicknames, you just follow the President on Twitter, right? attach a bad nickname to someone, and it's actually becoming a product of our times, to use a nickname to describe someone, and to make sure that it sticks. And so if you keep on using that nickname, it
becomes a mental association that sticks with that person. And a person has a hard time thinking outside of it.
Now, if a person uses a quality, a good quality against someone, then they somehow not just dismiss the person, but they also dismiss that good quality. So for example, someone might be very charitable, someone might be, you know, someone who has a high standard of morality, someone might have a lot of high a lot of modesty, but then you use that against them by mocking the good quality, until the good quality becomes the bad quality. So sometimes nicknames
can be used in different ways. And I'll explain why I'm talking about this in a minute in sha Allah tala, but just the outcome, at least where we start from because it would be unjust to the idea to mention the idea without actually mentioning the direct implications of this verse. First and foremost, the right amount mentioned that in no situation, do you refer to someone by a quality that they dislike, unless it is literally, if it is absolutely necessary? It's the only way to actually identify that person doing that. So there's no apps there's no intention of mocking that person, but it is a last resort. You've tried every way to refer to that person. And in order to make that
person known, you have to mention a certain quality of them that they might not like, similar to backbiting. Vic Rocha Huck be Malhotra
to backbite means to refer to someone in a way that they don't like. So someone back mics and says but it's true. It doesn't matter if it's true. That person doesn't like that thing being mentioned about them. It's how long it falls under the category of liba
Similar to a nickname or to a reference that you make to a person, you say, you know, the the person who's, you know, or you do this or this right and the Prophet sly seldom
mentioned to you shuttle de la hora. And when she did this referring to Sophia out of the 11 how she didn't have to do this, to refer to her height. But she did that. And I saw the law and he narrates it, our mother as a lesson for us said that the Prophet slicin, um, said that you have said a word that if you were to spit it into an ocean, it would pollute it, it would corrupt it, even though mathcad kalama. She actually didn't say anything. But the Prophet slicin said, that's like a ketema. That's a word that if you spit it into an ocean, it would corrupt or pollute the entirety of that body of water, contaminate that entire body of water. So, you know, we should be careful when you're
talking about someone or referring to someone and you mentioned a physical quality or mentioned something that's disliked to that person, a personal quality, all of that is included in what are taboo. But the second one that they're really not mentioned, is mocking someone for a sin that they've committed by attributing this them to that sin. So it's really interesting because the prophets lie some warrants. And even if there's a lot of a weakness in the Senate, it's accepted by all of the scholars, not to mock someone by a sin that they've committed. And that if a person does that, that they would not die until they commit that same sin, that the effects of that sin would
come into their own selves or into their own families, but not to Iraq, don't be little, don't attribute the sin to your brother or your sister and put them down with that sin until it becomes a part of them. You you identify them with that sin or make them identifiable with that sin. They might make Toba from that sin. And then you might commit it. Right, so don't call them by their sins. And then the right amount mentioned like and hustler Busey Rahim, Allah, he said, A Supriya to mark with the good quality. So how long which we see today? So he said, so for example, when you say Kareem,
the generous person, but you don't mean it in a good way, you mean the person who shows off? Or you're saying you're implying shows off with their cell phone? So you say, Oh, there goes the ketene. One again, there goes the generous guy again, right? So you're not actually talking about their generosity or praising it, but you're mocking them to suggest that their good quality is insincere, that's also under what are taboo.
And sometimes when people cannot realize the good quality themselves, they make themselves feel better by saying that those who exhibit those good qualities are not sincere in those good qualities. So when they saw the apobec colors of the world and the narrowness of the world, they said, yeah, we know what they're really up to. Because they're people have moral bankruptcy. And so they assume that everybody else is morally bankrupt. So mocked them for their good quality. That way, you make the good quality of bad quality and you take it away, you take away any responsibility for doing it yourself. And that's actually something very prevalent in our political discourse,
right? That people will be mocked for doing good things, as if it's a bad thing to suggest that they're extreme and that good quality or insincere in that good quality. And then the last one is mocking someone. And I find this very important for something of their heritage or something they don't have any control over. has an embassy man, President bossy Rahim Allah mentioned a very famous Hadith. And it's very beautiful how the Prophet slicin I'm empowered people when they were mocked.
Sophia, it'll do lol I know who we mentioned who was mocked for her heights. She's also of Jewish heritage. Her father was created locked up a Jew. She comes from a Jewish family. She was Jewish before she became Muslim. And so if you really wanted to poke at her, they called her at bintelli yehudah, the Jewish girl or the daughter of the Jew, so she came she was in tears. She told the prophets lie Selim, what was said to her. The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said to her at a quality for K factor. punani Haider. Mindy was LG, Mohammed will be held on why me Musa she said you should respond to them and say how are you better than me? When my husband is Mohammed? My father is
Aaron Harun and my uncle is Moosa and he was set up with some engineering problems like some as empowering or no pushback. Don't let them put you down and say, Oh, you're just you know, beat you down because of your heritage. patata Rahim Allah also said there's an element of a cup of belittling when it comes to age. This is very interesting.
When the young mark the elderly or the elderly mocked the youth, the young mark the elderly, as a means of saying that they're disconnected. The elderly mocked the youth as a means of saying they're immature and they don't know what they're doing. So the Prophet sly son when he introduced an apostle, the 11, whoa, to the unsought I bustled the lawn and was that I'm not
Giving you a way to these kids. It's kids. It's a bunch of little kids, he dismissed them because of their youth. Likewise, we see some people will use the term uncle Auntie in a derogatory way. Right? Some uncle some anti, right in a derogatory way. an amendment wasn't you know him Allah, He said that if you look in the time of the setup, when the elderly would see the youth, they would interact with the following the young people, the young person would say to the elder, person, subject and he will hire.
You are my former runner and good, I can't, I can't live up to your goodness you You are a pioneer, you're someone that's done so much more hate Suboxone, he will hate and the elderly person would respond to prefer the young person and say, so back to cubby shelf. But I live longer than you and I did more sins. So you're pure, more innocent than I am. And that's how you found this respect to this respectful collaboration. You don't find the profit slice. I'm dismissing the 14 and 15 and 16 year olds when they came to the battles and when they came to the end saying you're just you're too young, you're small go away. Nor do you find the youth like even above, can you imagine the
arrogance that even our bustle the low unemployment could have developed. He's 13 years old, and he's nicknamed hybridoma, the scholar of the oma, a 13. That's a lot to put on a 13 year old kid. But if an Ibis sleeps at the doorsteps of the Sahaba, gets covered in dust, learning and benefiting from the elders. And so when you when you dismiss someone and you say it's just that young, one, that old one that's a form of alcohol, you dismiss them, you push them away. And we wonder why we don't have youth rising sometimes, right? That because we dismiss them, we say, to young, not yet, or we dismiss our pioneers and our elders who have done so much in our community. So you know, they
don't know what they're talking about. They're disconnected. Right? That's a means of dismissing their height. And so in reality, just like Sofia, just like the one who mocks that the person who mocks mocks from a place of insecurity, the person who gives nicknames and mockery or dismisses in that way, dismisses out of their own insecurity, right, I feel threatened or I feel better, or whatever it is, and I need to push that person away. So this is not this is something that the prophets lie Selim, prohibited in practice that the poor and speaks about. Now on the other hand of this is good names and good qualities. And this is a special sinner that we find amongst the
prophets, why Selim amongst the companions amongst his family, and Subhana Allah, it's actually a good practice from the Arabs, and generally that some of them would, would would would think about these things, and that they would name their children or give them nicknames after qualities that they wanted them to aspire to. I mentioned I'd even be thought of it'll be a lot of times when I spoke about it on on Tuesday in our series, and I said, I wanted to talk a little bit about as names.
This isn't the days of ignorance, he's not doing this from a Sahabi perspective, but it's a beautiful practice. I thought it wanted to name his children after certain qualities.
And so when he came back home, and he found that it was born, and it was named assets, Elian, he didn't like the quality or he didn't find it to be the one that he was looking for in it well the whole time. And so you look at the way double pilot named his children, pilot, mean someone who has high aspirations, someone who's aiming higher. He liked unique names with deep meanings. And then he named his son his second son, Aki. Aki is someone with an elevated intellect a higher intellect. So he wanted his first son to have high aspirations, his second son to have a high sense of intellect, so he named him Aki. And then when Jaffa was born, Jaffa means someone who has an elevated it
actually technically in the Arabic language refers to a cow or an animal that gives extra milk. And what the Arabs would use Jaffa to describe a person with someone with elevated eloquence. And that's panela each name that he gave actually ended up fitting the person. So he wanted him to be someone with an elevated intellect someone with an elevated speech, someone that could that could speak well that had knowledge, elevated knowledge, and Jafar on the low end who fit the comparison, he lived up to his name. And then he named Allie Lewis shut off someone with a higher nobility who would be elevated in his nobility. And what more do you want than a man who the Prophet slicin um, says, who
I'm in need when I'm in home? He is of me, and I am I am of him raising the shutter of raising the nobility. And yes, he had daughters too, by the way, very interesting. The names he chose for his daughters. He chose his first daughter, he named her falcatum fat Lita in the Arabic language means a bird that spreads her wings wider and hence flies above the
And then he named his second daughter joumana, which means a gem that is of higher value. And then he named his third daughter rate law, not vitae. I'm not talking about a food here. But light law. In the Arabic language. laidlaw's actually means the last of an inventory that makes it of higher value, meaning when something is about to run out, and there's one more of it, and its value becomes elevated. So he wanted all of his kids to have that higher name. And the prophets lie Selim, he celebrated this practice, it's actually something that's often lost, he celebrated the practice of good names, made it a sooner from this moment to actually give good names and good nicknames and
good qualities that people actually can live up to. Both individually. And collectively. So we know the hadith of honorable Cotabato the law, where the son complained about his father. And one of the complaints was he didn't give me a good name. And that's one of the rights of the law analyst. It's one of the rights of a child that you give them a good name, right? Nowadays, you just look for something cute. Something that you can find on a naming website, it has a nice flow to it. It's, it's just enough to where they're not awkward in school. Right? You know, we we don't want them to stand up. These are all the exact opposite reasons. For the sin of naming the prophets. I said, I
mentioned the best of names. massumi, OBE, sallAllahu, wasallam. Mohammed, what he was named in one had any mentioned, I have a smile it Allah, Abdullah, Abdul Rahman, or Abdullah, Abdullah, the most beloved of names to Allah being up there, Hannah and Abdullah, US stuck with a smile. With one hand Ma'am, the most truthful of names, and had it in him Ma'am, the one who plows the field, and then the one who, who aspires with what has been planted. And this is a signal that should not be lost, that we named our kids or when we're asked to name you know, for advice on names, but we should revive this tradition of the actual physical names and please, no one go home and change your name
or call your parents and say you didn't give me a good name.
That's lost if you're already named. And unless you have a name that's out, um, it's okay, live by a quality instead. Right? But it's as soon as we should revive in our community, that we name our children meaningful names. It's the most ridiculous thing in the world. When you go to the UN and I'm going to pick a little bit on the Arab world and you say what's the name you say Khadija Fatima This is Cardenas old name? What does that even mean?
And you the queen of Jenna's name is old.
Really, too old. That sounds ancient. These are the people that were supposed to name after. Paul Han is aware of the low tide and Huma
Zubaydah has a beautiful name because Paul Han is obeyed are the neighbors of the Prophet slicin. They're inseparable. They'll handle the Allahu taala as obeyed the law and who says that Paul had named all of his children after MBA after profits, and I named all of my children after Shahada after martyrs palace so Patricia is Abu Mohammed as is available the a lot of Thailand who has Abdullah has obeyed after Abdullah and rejects odawa, after Otto have been the salute and so on so forth. He said, we we made a pact together he would name his children after the prophets and I would name my children after the Shahada after the martyrs. And of course, the prophets lie some would
actually change bad names to good names. Someone came to the Prophet sly Solomon had a bad name, he immediately changed it to a good name. Or if he didn't like the meaning or if it was pessimistic or dark. Right, the profit slice on would change it. So for example, I do the Allahu anhu. When Hassan was born, he is a warrior, so I do the law and who named al Hassan help? He names in war prophets lie Some said no, no, his name is Hassan, which means good. And then he had for St. And he named him however again, he named him war and the Prophet's life said no, no, he's saying he's good like hesson the smaller one who follows the sun and excellence, right because that was his reference and
that's what they used to name after they used to name after certain things in the prophets lie Selim said to maintain that good quality, he himself Salalah Han he was seldom a solid, I mean, Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam the honest one the trustworthy one, right so it phases into qualities also, what are the qualities that we nicknamed ours our children with that we put as defining qualities to aspire to for ourselves and so you find the profits Isom gave a name to each of the each of his close companions as the deep the true form, what a name to live by acidic and farrokh. Right? The one Amato the law and who distinguishes truth from falsehood, as the law is actually the
neurons the line of Allah is added on the allowed time to animal the neuron, the possessor of two lights are phenomenal the alarm, you give them something that's that special, right? The prophets, I send them implement
This practice and of course again, Khadija abaa Hera, Fatima. Zahra, Khadija, the pure one Fatima, the one who had a radiant face the tool the tool is Tibet Sol La heatable. Tila always turned towards Allah subhana wa Tada. These are the types of things that the prophets lie Selim taught us to do. And I actually want to extend it beyond the individual. But this is something we do with our kids, by the way, we should do with our kids. Give them a quality that you see in them find a good quality and your children find a good quality and someone around you and give them that quality to aspire to is something that we should do in our in our individual and family lives. But the prophets
license understood, even a community identity.
And this is something very profound and from the hikma of the Prophet size of the wisdom of the prophets, I send them that he knew that these were a deeply tribal people, right? They used to take pride in what leads to take pride in their tribal names. So he calls them an unsolved while Mahajan.
That special, those that migrated for the sake of Allah and those that hosted for the sake of Allah, that's an identity. Yeah, I'm not sure on unsolved, so anytime they need to aim higher. Remember, you're the unsought remember who you are. You're the people that host whenever these people are persecuted, you're the people that left your homes for the sake of Allah subhana wa tada I'm the love not bustle the law, I'm home, I said that when the profit slice I'm used to do data to a tribe, he always mentioned their best qualities first, even as an identity so instead of taking pride in a name, take pride in a quality that you have. So what's your defining quality as a people, not just
as an individual? What's your name? What's your defining quality as a people is something that the prophets lie Selim looked for
the profit slice and I'm also said alikum beset
upon you is truth, the inner Sitka Yeti in a little in a little Yachty in agenda. One is Allah Roger. Oh, yes, look, Hatter, yoked up and de la. De that a person should be truthful. And know that truthfulness leads to righteousness and righteousness leads to gender. And he said sly Salaam, you do not tell the truth on a consistent basis except that Allah gives you an equality. Allah gives you a name, you're so deep. That's not just for Ibrahim Ali Salaam, and I will bucket all the allowed.
Can I honestly believe on the day of judgment that Allah would call me and say, Sadiq? What are the good qualities I want to hear from Allah? Because the opposite side of that Hadith are the liars, the prophets license that a person just gets used to lying until it becomes a defining quality can be a liar? What are the defining qualities? On the day of judgment that I want a lot of call me by what can I aim towards? What if I had a defining quality? What is it? What are the multiple ones? The gates of agenda will call people by qualities? What's my quality? Right? Just like when you name your children, and you give an actual name, put a defining quality and say, I want to be that I want
a lot to call me by this name on the Day of Judgment.
I want a lot to call me by this name on the Day of Judgment, and I'm going to live my life in accordance with being a person called by this good quality on the Day of Judgment. What would people know me by
and know me by for sincerity because the Prophet slicin um, said that, you know, when you die and people say, it's very hard to be a person that's so bad that people curse you when you die. You have to be a really bad person. Most people they say great things about you. Right? And the prophets lie Some said the angels poke and say a hacker that Quint is that you Are you really that person that you say that they say you are so sincere, good qualities, how do I put my own name that I want to be called by on the day of judgment and say, yeah, Allah I want to be this person one day of judgment. I want a lot to call me by my sincerity I want a lot of call me by my son I want a lot of call me by
my modesty I want a lot to call me by my charity I want a lot of call me by my my helpfulness my selflessness all these are the qualities I want a lot to say. Yeah. Oh, so and so approach. How sweet would it be to have a good nickname from Allah, a good nickname in the heavens? So even for ourselves? Finally, dear brothers and sisters?
How do we do this amongst ourselves? And how do we how do we actually expand this for ourselves? Sometimes, as we see from Khadija the law on her reassuring the Prophet sallallahu wasallam. Sometimes you have to help someone affirm their own good qualities when they're questioning themselves. Now, of course, the Prophet slicin was not questioning his own goodness. When the Prophet sly son was afraid when he came from Hara Khadija de la I'm not reassured the prophets lie some with his best qualities.
When you see someone falling short, the prophet sly son was not falling short. You see your child or you see a friend or you see someone that's falling short. don't assign the bad quality to them. The worst thing you can do to your child is to call them by and say, oh, here you go again. We know how stubborn you always are. We know how you're always this and you're always that because that's gonna stick in their minds. Your friend gets used to a certain quality they start self internalized self hatred, it gets close I'm you know what, you know how I am. First it's you know who you are in a bad sense. And then it's you know who I am? No, affirm the good qualities, call your kids by the best
qualities that you see potential in them, even if they haven't mastered them yet. It's okay. It's one of the things that you elevate your children with, call them say, you know, you're always caring Mashallah, I love how you're always caring. Let it stick with them. And let them aspire to that quality until it becomes a part of them. We do that with our friends. We do that with our families. What's our family defining quality, the Prophet's life somehow to defining quality for a community? What is the defining quality that we want to have collectively as a Valley Ranch Islamic center? What are those two, three terms that we want to hear that always describe our community? And if
we're not yet there, how do we actually live up to those things? We ask Allah subhana wa tada to allow us to have the best of names and the best of qualities and our individual, our family, our community lives and to allow us to live up to them. I love them. I mean, akula Kalia was talking about he will accompany certain muslimeen for stuff we do in the whole affordable housing.