#13 The Widow and the Iddah – For Those Left Behind

We take so much pride in our Islamic history and the seed of the prophets lie Selim about how the companions would care for the widows and particularly the way that the widows as soon as there that would be finished, they would have a line of men ready to marry them and to take care of their families. And SubhanAllah. It's as if that entire history is completely removed from us, and relegated almost exclusively just to marriage. And that is a loss on our part.

So before I even talk about their rulings on their agenda, let's talk about this last sin of caring for the widow and it is indeed a last Sunday, you know, and you hear about orphans and you hear about the poor and you hear about all these different things, the Sunnah of caring for the widows, the Prophet sallallahu Sallam was described whether you have enough will and you MCR mind automatically when miskeen faculty Allahu alhaja, that the prophet SAW his son was not too proud to be seen walking with the widow and walking with the miskeen walking with one who was poor, and carrying out their needs until he fulfilled their need. The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said

a salary or morality when miskeen the one who strives in caring for the widow and for the poor person is like the one who strives in the path of a loss of parents. I like the Mujahideen in the path of Allah subhanho wa Taala. Or like the one who fasts all day without breaking their fast or like the one who prays all night without sleeping. So Pamela, all of that, for who the one who cares for the widow Amala? Well, miskeen and all of these things that fall in the category of caring for the widow, you know, the the youth in general about being there for someone who is vulnerable, being there for someone who is in need, that Allah subhanho wa Taala is in the cause of his servants, so

long as his servant isn't the cause of his brother or sister, who more blessed to serve in the wake of a tragedy than the widow especially when you start talking about an elderly widow, and one that really has a hard time caring for herself. And by the way, the prophets I sent him when he talks about the virtue of the person who raises an orphan and that the one who cares for the orphan I know a casualty care team, I am the one who cares for the orphan are like these two fingers. In one narration the prophets lie some specifies, I am the one who cares for an orphan, meaning their own orphans or someone else's orphans, meaning their own children, or someone else's children are like

these two in paradise. So to that woman that suffers the loss of her husband and cares for her own children raises her children on her own, you will be like this with the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam bitten into it, because we know that charity with your own family, by the way, is greater than any type of charity. And obviously, being a mother taking care of your own children is not charity, it is Scylla and sadhaka. Because you achieve the reward of both. And there is some narrations, beautiful narrations about the Prophet, slice alum. And there are thoughts that are narrated about the Prophet, slice alum, seeing a woman racing him on the Day of Judgment, to an

agenda to the gates of agenda. And this is a woman who, who cared for her children and raised her children all the way until they were able to take care of themselves. This is an incredible category of people. And who would not want to serve a person who has been given that reward of being like this with the Prophet sallallahu. It was so so that's the first thing reviving that legacy of serving the widow of being in her cause, making sure that she's taken care of and taking that up as a as a job as a role in the community. It's probably there was one brother may last panel, it's out of bless him. And I don't know his name for a reason. Because he would send there was a sister whose

husband had passed away in the community. And he would send, you know, $500 every single month to take care of his family, but he would send it through another brother so that I would not know who he is. And so the sister did not know the brother that was giving me the money. And I did not know the brother that was giving the brother the money that was giving it to me somehow. So there is this anonymous person that decided that he wanted to take care of this family. And he was acting upon this Hadith of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam. So taking care of the widow serving her caring for her needs, making sure that she can grieve properly. All of this is from the center of

the Prophet slice lm and that's when you start to see some of the Hadith about the way that the widow is to grieve herself. Xena binz Abby selama will be a lot of title. One, b1 omya she narrates that I'm Habiba. Well, the Allahu anhu when Abu sufian passed away, that I'm happy but all the Aloha and after three days sent for some perfume, and she put some perfume on her forearms and her cheeks and she said

That it's not because I needed this or it's not because I really wanted this but she wanted to fulfill the Sunnah of the Prophet sly cinnamon, saying that it is not permissible for a woman who believes in a lot in the last day to abstain from adorning herself for more than three days except in the case of the widow who mourns for four months and 10 days as Allah subhana wa tada says, and sorts of Bukhara, and that is, of course, the aid of the widow. Now, the red does also a thing that often comes with cultural baggage and certain things that are not from the Sunnah of the Prophet, slice alum. What is this here? What is the Sunnah surrounding the widow, particularly when it comes

to that? So we know what Eliza tells us that the ADA for the widow is four months and 10 days, or it expires with pregnancy. So if she is pregnant, and she gives birth before the end of four months, in 10 days, then her over when she gives birth, even if it's a day after the death of her husband, or it's four months and 10 days, in that four months in 10 days, she mourns she can grieve she is to spend the night in her home. And a lot of hell a lot of the things that we learned by the way, the jurisprudence about death and how to act in the wake of death comes from because of the impact on the community. And so you find a narration that the Prophet slicin I'm told some of the widows or

hood as they would, they would gather during the day to make sure that they can talk amongst themselves, but when it's time to go to sleep, to sleep in their homes, to sleep in the home in which the news came to them. And so when it comes to their ID, and the woman fulfilling that in her home, that is that a woman can leave during the day to care for her needs. There's no problem for that whatsoever, to go out and care for her needs. Ideally, again, she has a family, a community, people that want to strive to care for her needs, so that she doesn't have to go out and do those things for herself that she can take the time to properly grieve and not have to do that, though she

abstains from adorning herself and abstains from marriage. And you know, that which leads to marriage. At the same time, you know, there is no form of self punishment that's being inflicted here. Right. The only thing is that at night, she spends the night in the home of her husband. And this should be observed unless there's a need for it not to be observed. And I see two extremes here. Sometimes I have seen where, you know, a person enforces this rule when they don't need to enforce this rule. And sometimes people abstain from it unnecessarily. And the reality is that it's it's somewhere in between what does that mean, just like with everything else in Islam, if there are

needs and dire needs, then that makes things that are ordinarily prohibited, permissible. And so let's say for example, it is an elderly woman, and she is unable to spend the night you know, alone and that she can't care for herself. At that point, she can go into move in with her children, she could move in with with a sister or someone that can take care of her so that she's not alone. You also might have a woman whose husband passes away and Hajj for example, and Subhanallah I actually had that happen in my group, where a woman becomes a widow and hide so she's supposed to stay in Mecca for four months in 10 days, no in her situation, she would return home and she would spend the

night in her home there for four months and 10 days and then you see some of course, that you know, do not observe this idea whatsoever. So there is to be observed and if there are things that make it, you know, exceedingly difficult for a woman to spend the night in her home, then inshallah tada it can be waived. And during the day, there is no harm and there should be no undue burden on her. And the community, the family, the extended family, the community should see it as a blessing and shallots out to serve her so that she can grieve properly and observe her without being disrupted in that sense. Now the last thing I'll say here is that just like with the aza, some of those cultural

practices take the son of ease, and they make it difficult and that can be a fit enough for a woman in her Deen. That can truly be a test for a woman in her Deen. And from those that are encountering some of these things that don't make any sense whatsoever. It can be a fitna for them in regards to their Deen. So, you'll see for example, certain things like you know, a woman is not supposed to smile. for four months in 10 days, you'll see all sorts of cultural innovations that come into this and will guilt a woman and the only thing we know from the Sunnah is to abstain from adornment and to abstain from sleeping outside of the home at night. And of course, a person again can go out

during the day to do what they need to do. So instead of you know, adding blame or adding certain things to the editor, which take it closer to jelly, Anjali practices or other things that exist in other cultures that get mixed in with the way that it is observed by a neighboring Muslim community. Let's think about how we can care for a person that is in that situation and take care of the needs of the widow so that we can revive a son that has been lost.