Channel: Nouman Ali Khan
Series: Nouman Ali Khan - The Gulf Tour
Ust. Nouman Ali Khan was asked this question during a live lecture on the 2015 Gulf Tour.
This will also latos law models the law he was an awesome question came from a mother in the Gulf tour who said when do I teach my children Arabic? My boy is two and a half years old. When do I begin to teach them Arabic grammar and Koran introducing memorization? Because I want them to be raised with the Quran. What a beautiful concern you have with your child that you want him to learn the Quran, but he's three years old, chill out, lady. We want them to have every What were you doing when you were three years old? You don't remember? You don't remember? You don't even remember like, you should put your shoes on the wrong way. Kids are on the fitrah they are beautiful. Let them be
teach them Yes, teach them lovingly. Some kids have more aptitude. They want to learn quickly. They want to learn quickly and you give them that opportunity. Some kids want to play more, let them play more let them take their time. Parents have to learn to be flexible with their children and not impose the same standards and not make one kid compared to the other kid into especially in terms of their Hold on. I have six kids not all of them memorize code on the same way not all of them study and assembly Not at all. I have one child who memorizes something in like five minutes you can memorize it. This is ridiculous. It's so fast to memorizing It's amazing. I have another who could
the same thing could take her a month and I don't compare the eight Why don't you be more like your sister.
I don't do that. That's the one this is what and it creates a hatred towards the because of this book my my my father likes my other sister more than me. That's wrong man. Soften cut it out Stop being so stressed over your kids. What Allah doesn't want your kid to be a half of elitism want your kid to be on a launcher kid to be a good Muslim? I'd like to want you to your child to love is his or her Dean. That's what a love wants. So chill out the other arm the children's note, there are some people who came to me and said, you know, our children are five, six years old. We were we watched we show them videos of the signs of judgment a and we talked about the job. I was like why
do you do that? Why are you talking to your kids about the job? Your kids are like five years old. That's traumatizing. Dude, I get scared reading about the child. You know, tell the child about listen. Children are all the fifth law they are on the fifth floor. You know what that means? That right now they are not responsible for any wrong that they do. Why do you want to put the fear of a lot in them? When they don't have to have the fear of Allah in them? They don't fear of Allah is for someone who will be held responsible for their deeds Yes or no?
right now is the age to expose them to the love of Allah, the mercy of Allah, the care of Allah the gifts of Allah, that the love of the Prophet says nothing about the fear. Nothing about jahannam nothing about Yokoyama. Nothing about the child nothing about great wars and collecting. Oh, hold on a second. This does not what kids need, it will traumatize them. They'll think of their Deen in such scary terms. children get terrified. And you don't don't tell me I normally tell them some positive things to start how it works. You can show a kid a horror movie and then say, well, we showed him a teddy bear after that. So things should work out. No, you don't do that. You just don't do that.
It's so so damaging for children. You know, in the beginning, we want to nurture that Fitzalan, they already came with a love of Allah. That's what a love put inside of them. nurture that love, and don't replace it with fear. Fear will come later, when they get mature. When they get older. Then we start talking about responsibility, accountability, then you talk to you about judgment, and then you teach those out when they're at that age. Teaching that ahead of time, just takes it takes it all away. Same thing with teaching karate. Same thing with teaching anything to your children for that matter. Make things age appropriate, and make things lovable. The biggest accomplishment in our
days that day and age will lie to you. Please listen to this carefully. The biggest accomplishment in our day and age with our children is not how much they will learn how much they will learn means nothing. It I'm sorry, that sounds offensive to you. It means nothing. What will mean something? How much do they love their job? How much do they love? Their prophet? sallallahu alayhi wasallam? How much do how much character do they uphold? How truthful and honest are they? You know, how when How are they? How easy is it for them to admit a mistake? How openly do they communicate with you? their character is the most important thing, not their knowledge, knowledge is superficial. It is for show
to others. I'm not saying knowledge isn't important, but knowledge will always be secondary to character always, always will be secondary to character right now. It's about nurturing that character, nurturing that personality and a little bit of knowledge along the way. There's plenty of children who have memorized the entire Quran at a very early age.
With no character, they're not needed. And it's not those kids fault.
The only thing I emphasize to them was memorizing Quran. And these kids will lie. These kids are mean they make fun of their friends who don't memorize Koran with them as quickly. All the things you're not supposed to do as a Muslim they do but they're who follow Quran so their trophies of our community. Come on, what are we done? We emphasize things that Allah doesn't emphasize, and we overlook things that will emphasize it. And yet we say we're, you know, we're serving the deen, we again have to restore balance, knowledge has its place, character has its place, and that balance between the two has to be struck. It certainly has to be struck male as always will give us maturity
and sense in raising our children with the right religious upbringing, a balanced approach to being a loving approach to the deen so that they don't come up skewed and find things to love. Other than that they know a lot about Islam, but their love lies somewhere else. barakallahu li walakum wa salaamu Alaikum wa rahmatullah wa barakato