Could not get what was said before this as the Al-Qur’an was being read
0:52 Dedication is important, u know that is important, yes I know it is important. But does she take it on time or no? I have to call, I have to go, I have to make sure she takes it, because, something’s missing. I know this is good. It’s different. Than saying I know that this is something I have to do, I must do it, I don’t have a choice.
Allah didn’t just teach Lukman (RA) that he should be grateful to Allah, tone coloro show gratitude. Showing gratitude is one thing, He understands that It’s an Amal, I have to do it, in everything that I do in life I have to show gratitude to Allah. It must invade all of my action, all of my thoughts, all of them have to be tinted with one thing, in one color and that’s the color of being grateful to Allah. I have to find excuses to thanks Allah, in everything I do. And, so when we read this advice that Lukman is giving his son, you must to understand that I must remind myself, he is not trying to benefit anybody else first, he is trying to be grateful to Allah.
And what we learn from that is when you and I try to help our own family, when the father is in audience, trying to help their sons, when the brother is trying to help another brother, the first motivation of dad is that to help your brother. The first motivation for me is to be grateful to Allah. It’s not about someone else, it’s about me first. I’m doing it only because, I want to show first and foremost gratitude to Allah. This is an idea I will come back to towards to end of my khutba, because the end of this advice is tied to this concept. You might think it’s a very simple thing, but it can get very complicated very fast and we can lose sight of it very easily. So I take you towards the tail end of this advice. “Ya Bunayya Akhimi Salah”, you heard these words a thousand times, “My beloved son, the son that I love”, Yabni in Arabic or Yabna even, “Ya Bunayya” “My beloved son, my dear son” Its like he is giving him a hug, patting him on the back, showing him love and then saying “Son, Listen”, you know a lot of times fathers give sons advice, actually, fathers all that they do is give sons advice. Right? Your son calls you on the phone and all he gets is “Did you do this? Did you do that? Did you finish this? Did you finish that? How come you didn’t do this? How come you didn’t do that? Ok I gotta go” Right? Your son is not even like calling you anymore because all that he hears is advice on the other end. Right? A lot of times especially as sons get older, they have a hard time talking to their dad because dad is always correcting them and they have, you know, young men, they have short tempers, so there is always a tension between father and son. All the time. All the time. So this father is wise right, right? Allah told this in the beginning, he taught him wisdom, part of his wisdom is when he talks to his son, he talks to him with love. How many fathers here that have teenage boys, that talk to their boys with love, that talk to them in a loving fashion that they are not threatened, allright, here he goes again, he is going to start his lecture again, I know what’s coming now, I see that look on his face, completely disarms his son. He says, “Ya Bunayya” there is a difference between say “hey, go read salath, its Maghrib time”, he says, “hey son, come here, you know its Maghrib time, lets pray together”, there is a difference in tone isn’t it? What is hard in the heart, he will say “ok fine, I will pray because you are telling me to” and other will say “ya you are right dad, I should pray lets go to the masjid together. Different results. Different results entirely. So he says “Ya Bunayya Akhimi Salath”
And I will just give you one of the Fawaidh, One of the benefits of salath that are part of this conversation. You know, Our salawath our prayers, literally the Arabic word salath is from silah which is to connect, they are direction actually between us and Allah Azzawajjal. They are supposed to bring light into our life. Every Salah is supposed to be source of light in our life. Every salah is supposed to be us getting refueled, rejuvenated. When a person really established salah, when they really, truly establish salath in their life, then they feel a noor, a light, a tranquility, a peace, a calm, a love, that they’ve never felt before and the only place they get it is in salath and the highest form of that is described in the Qur’an as Qurrath ul’ ain and the messenger of Allah (saw) says “Juilath Ainaiyya qurrathu aina fis salathi” the coolness of my eyes, the highest form of my tranquility was kept in the prayer, was put in the prayer, when I made salath, I find the most peace. Basically in simple words, when I make salah, I find the most peace.
So he gives the son loving advice and says, look, establish that real connection with Allah through Salath, now, when you really experience that connection with Allah, if you can get that in your salah, then you learn not to be selfish and say, you know other people deserve to get this connection too. This is not just something for me, others should benefit from this also. And if this is the greatest gift that can be had in this worlds, a connection with Allah Azzawajjal, a relationship with the master, if that’s the greatest thing that you can accomplish in this world, then for everyone that you love, you will want them to have the same gift. Genuine. You will just genuinely want them to have the same gift. So the logical consequence, its only logical that, the next words in this ayah are “Wa’mur bil ma’ghroof, wan ha an’il munkar” Command to the good. Wa’ mur, by the way, amara in Arabic means to advice, to suggest, to compel, to encourage also to command, in other words you need to look for the right occasion, its not always the time to command, sometimes it’s the time to suggest. Sometimes it’s the time to advice, give advice, sometimes it’s the time to encourage, sometimes it is a time to command. But if you are always commanding, you lose your authority. Nobody listens, if you are always yelling, you are always being a dictator, people under you will stop listening to you, they don’t listen, and you say why don’t you listen to me, I’ve told you 10 times, well, that’s cause you say it 10 times i stopped listening, that’s what happens. So, “Wa’mur bil ma’ghroof” and al “ma’ghroof” also that’s a separate conversation but, not which everybody knows to be decent, call people to that. Now before I go on, I want you to understand what I am trying to get at, I still haven’t made my point yet in this khutba. And that is a lot of times we do what we think is “Wa’mur bil ma’ghroof”, trying to help other people out, trying to correct them in how they make salath, how they are talking or how they are dressed or how they are behaving or where they are earning their money or how they deal with their family situation or you are correcting other muslim brothers or what books they should read or whatever, we correct each other and we think this is all what “Wa’mur bil ma’ghroof”. And we think, in our head we think, this is how we think, we’re helping them out. We’re helping them out. First of all your intention to help anybody else is what? For you. yourself to be grateful to Allah and secondly, whoever you are helping out, the reason that you want to do that for them, on top of you being grateful to Allah is grateful to Allah is genuine love, genuine concern, genuine love and concern, if you cant care about someone, you cannot give them advice. And when you give advice to someone you dont care about they know that you don’t care. They know you don’t care. They can tell. You know what happens to us when you give advice, you get angry. That’s no way to give advice.
And so as I wind towards the conclusion of this khutba, I am half way though, I wanna share with you one very peculiar example. Try and pay close attention to this example. Because its one of the most, in my mind one of the most powerful examples that I am trying to get across. Allah Azzawajjal is unimaginably merciful and the most merciful of his names is “Ar-Rahman” you all know that. And yt there are a group of people on this earth, who say Allah has taken a son and their celebrations are on the corner, Yes? So now Allah Azzawajjal mentions this in the Qur’an and he says in surath Maryam, “waqalu takahzar rahmanu walada” they said “Ar-Rahman has taken a son”. He dint way Allah has taken a son, he said Ar-Rahman has taken a son. And then after that he expresses his anger. “Lakhad Ji’tum Shai’an Idda”. It is understandable that “Al-Azeez” gets angry, the authority gets angry, we experience that in this world get angry. It is understandable that “Al-Qawiyy” gets angry, the powerful gets angry, its understandable. Someone who is “Zunthikham” the capable and someone who is possessing the power to take revenge get angry. Its understandable. “Al-Jabbar” gets angry, its understandable. “Ar-Rahman” gets angry, its beyond brother . “Ar-Rahman”, when you hear the word “Ar-Rahman” you don’t expect anger, what do you expect? Mercy. Allah mentions his name “Ar-Rahman” and in the next Ayah, he displays his anger. Its something to wonder about. And one of the results is that as merciful as Allah is, that one thing you people say, that one thing you say that Allah has taken a son, even gets rid of that mercy of Allah and makes him so angry. And not only is Allah angry, listen to this, “Thakkadus Sa’maawathu, Yathafattarna, the fa’il , the subject of that verb is not Allah, It’s the skies, Allah says, the skies are about to tear open. Allah did not say he is about to tear open, Allah said the skies on their own are about to tear open. Now I want you to think about this, somewhere on the street, there is somebody who says Jesus is lord. Who heard it? just the guy next to him. I didn’t even hear it, I am not far enough to hear him. But those words are so offensive and so heavy, they travel across the skies. And the entire skies are so offended they are about tear open, because somebody says Allah has taken a son. They are almost “Thakadu”, almost about to tear open. “Watanshakul Ardhu” Earth is about to crack open, just because they say Allah has taken a son. I want you to keep that in mind, that’s not my example yet. I want you to keep that in mind. The same questions a group of them, from Najran, from a town called Najran, They came to visit Rasoolullah (saw). What makes Allah angry, yes you would argue logically what makes Allah angry should make Rasoolullah (saw) angry. Rasoolullah (saw) says yes you come to talk to me to see if I am a prophet or not, you know what, let me put you up in executive suite residence, you stay in Al-Masjid An’ Nabawi. These Christians, that believe that Allah has taken a son, and some have come just to debate the messenger of Allah, they are not just going to say something offensive to Allah, they are going to be arguing with the messenger of Allah (saw) and where did the messenger say you get to say? As honored guests inside the masjid of the prophet himself (saw). Not only that, you pray the way you pray, in the masjid, he told them. you pray the way you gonna pray, in the masjid, and it is so peculiar, what do we learn from that? We learn as much as we hate that belief, as much we despise that belief, we can’t stand that belief because w know how offensive it is to Allah Himself. That hatred from that belief cannot translate into hatred for those people. It Can’t. And until they come with their sound heart and sound judgement to Islam, we will not force them to change their ways, even if they are going to keep their ways up inside the house of Allah. This is, if you are gonna say you do “a’mur bil ma’ghroof”, you are not going to graduate over the practice of Allah’s Messenger (saw) in everything he does he is doing “a’mur bil ma’ghroof” in everything he does he is teaching “a’mur bil ma’ghroof”, that’s part of his job, so, maybe we don’t understand what it means clearly. Maybe we haven’t understood the manners of “a’mur bil ma’ghroof”. On our beliefs we never compromise. But our behavior, our behavious has to exemplify the behaviour of Allah messenger (saw). If you really develop a connection with Allah, you will learn to love the truth, you will also learn to be patient with people around you. So he says, “Wa’mur bil ma’ghroof, wan ha an’il munkar” when you add something you gonna need, without which you will not be able to do “a’mur bil ma’ghroof” and you will not be able to do “wan ha an’il munkar” and you will not be able to tell anybody, anything good, whether its inside your family, or on a podium or in a church, anywhere. You will not be able to tell any one to do anything good, you will not be giving good advice ever. Or stopping people from harmful activity ever. You wont be able to do it if you don’t have this one ingredient He says, “wasbir Ala’ ma’ Asaabaq” Be patient over whatever happens to you. What ever falls upon you, you need to learn to deal with it. Take it with a thick skin. Don’t get offended, if anybody has the right to get offended, its Allah’s Messenger (saw). If anybody has the right to get offended, its Nuh (as), these are people who put up with a lot of stuff. You and I cant compare. I know bro you are telling me to be trying to give my cousin advice, you know he is so obnoxious, he is so disrespectful, my nephew, my neice, my cousin, my daughter, my sister, my brother, I don’t even talk to them because they make me so angry, they its such retarded things. Oh you know what, much more offensive things ahev been said to messengers and they learnt to be patient, year after year after year. Same exact people, same exact people, “wasbir Ala’ ma’ Asaabaq” Lets compare the contrast cause my time is running out. What I really wanted to highlight today, There is a group of people within the muslims, I hope its not me and I hope its not you. I really honestly do. They think they are commanding to good, but all they are doing is their pride somewhere deep inside they think they become better than people and its only their pride, that they use, that comes out as anger against others, it comes out as anger, they get angry at other people very easily. You know the expression of getting angry at other people easily in arabic? “Sa’ara Khaddahu linnas” He swelled his cheeks to be people. Like that.. he made a face like that to people, he hears what he doesn’t like to hear, he gets really perturbed, his temper rises, cant stand it.
Now listen to this advice. He told them be patient, How, how do you be patient, what are things, how do I know I am not being patient anymore? Lukman (ra) gives his son some litmus tests, he says “wala Tusa’ir Khaddaka linnas” Don’t swell your cheeks at people. Don’t scoff at people, Don’t be condescending to people, Don’t be judgmental of people, Don’t think you are better than people, Don’t say Oh those people, forget it. These guys they don’t know anything. Don’t have that attitude. Don’t be like that, cause you know if that’s the case, you’re already suffering from pride. Your gratitude to Allah is gone. Who are you to judge people? Allah is already there. He is enough as .. He is enough as a judge. We’re just there to remind. Another really quick example, I know my time is pretty much up, really quick example, Allah Azzawajjal knew Fir’aun is going to hell, he knew that, before Fir’aun died, Allah knew what he is going to do, how he is going to even try to kill the believers, till the last breath he has I mean, we read the stories to pass over, I mean the guy kills the babies, you understand what that looks like? do you have kids? I have 6 kids, I cant imagine, If I try to picture it I cant. I have to stop, he killed thousands of babies, here if you wanna think about if evil had a picture next to it in the dictionary, it would probably be Fir’aun’s picture. Allah knew he is gonna go to hell, but yet, when Musa (as) was told to go talk to him, Allah told him “La Allahu Yazzakkah” Maybe he’ll become pure, maybe he’ll just may be something inside him to make him pure. He doesn’t want even Musa (as) to judge. Allah’s already passed judgement. Allah already knows. You and I cant pass judgment, you and I have to assume the best. We just have to assume the best about people. “la Tusa’ir Khaddaka linnas, walaa tamshi filardhi marhaan ” Don’t walk on the earth like you have accomplished something “Marha shiddathul Farh Asluhu Min Ankibah” right? It’s the intense pride you have like I told those guys today, I did some real “a’mur bil ma’ghroof” I told that guy good, I showed him the hadith and everything, put him in his place, we use the religion to futher our own fights sometimes “Subhan Allah” That same religion that came to humble the believer. We use it to show our power to others. To show our supremacy to others. What a sad state we have come into. So before you think of the pride of others, this is a father giving advice to his son after he told him do “a’mur bil ma’ghroof, wan ha an’il munkar” and told him if you don’t have sabr your “a’mur bil ma’ghroof” and “wan ha an’il munkar” will take a wrong turn, you will start swelling your cheeks at people, you will start walking on the earth with pride, “Innallaha la yuhibbu mankana mukhtalan fakhur”Allah does not let anybody, that’s “Mukhtar”, “Mukhtar” is one of ths arabic words for someone who is. you know, arrogant. But it’s a very interesting word, its comes from “Khayal”. “Ikhtale, ikhtalul, ikhtiyal ” comes from “Khayal”. “Khayal” means to wonder. This guy is on ease with himself. Man, “Subhan Allah” Allah has really given me a lot of knowledge. Its my responsibility to save the world. If I wont do it how is it ever gonna happen? He becomes very impressed with himself, every he goes and insult somebody in the name of Allah, he pats himself on the back. He thinks he has really accomplished something. “Mukhtal”, “Fakhur” full of pride, full of a sense of accomplishment. “Wuksid fi Mashrik” . And by the way you know how people get angry? You give somebody advice and they don’t take your advice, you get angry. That’s a good check for giving advice for the wrong reason. The fact that you get angry, the fact that I get angry is a proof of our errors, proof of our errors. Because the response to our advice not being taken is the response of our prophets (as), its sabr. When that response is not there, you know what’s going to happen? Imagine this, I’ll leave you with a practical picture, I think its very practical, just imagine this scene, you give advice, they laugh at you. They insult your advice. You know what you do typically, you get up and walk away, and you don’t just walk away slowly, you storm out, the next bit of advice is what should be my shape, balance yourself when you walk, slow down buddy, take it easy, what do you think you are doing? When you see somebody storming out that’s an expression of what? Of anger. “Wardhum min southik” Lower your voice. What do people do when they get angry? Raise their voice. They can’t, they can’t take it anymore. Look at how logical this advice is. If you wanna do “a’mur bil ma’ghroof, and “an’il munkar” you need to have sabr. How do you have sabr? Don’t be judgmental of people, don’t walk out of the conversation, lower your voice, and finally he says, “inna ankara al-aswati lasawtalhameer” The nastiest is the sound is the sound of a donkey, the braying of a donkey. Why did Allah compare the human being to a donkey in this ayah? Donkey, you put loads on him, books, you know clothing, articles back in the day the trucks or donkeys, you put stuff on it, you put stuff on it, it carries it, it carries it, until, you put so much on it, it cant carry any more and at that point what does it do? It makes a nasty sound, “sawtalhameer”. When you load too much on it, just like that you say, man this guy keeps putting me down, he keeps testing my patience and patience and patience, he keeps loading on me and loading on me until I cant take any more and I what, I explode, Allah says, at that point when you cant take any more, that is when you and I will learn whether we have sabr or not. That’s the time not to become a donkey. Not before that. “Arabic” . The first phase of anger is in sanity. When You go crazy like a donkey, that means you are crazy, then afterwards you regret, whats the point in regretting it afterwards, sorry bro, I got so angry, I could not control myself. You know I get like that sometimes. Like a “hameer” like “himar”. No No No. We have to be people of sabr. May Allah Azzawajjal give us the understanding of, a proper understanding of a’mur bil ma’ghroof, and “anha an’il munkar”. May Allah make us of people that can control their anger, just out of being grateful to Allah Azzawajjal. That he gave us some opportunity to get some blessing of this deen. May Allah make us of those who give advice in the best possible way, in the most sincere possible way, and may Allah put Barakah of his own, and his power into the sincere advice that we give and towards us and to those who listen to those advice as a result.
Barakallahu li wa’lakum fil Quranil hakeem, wana fa’ni wa iyyakum bil ayati wa’dhikril hakeem