Islam and Ego

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Nouman Ali Khan

Channel: Nouman Ali Khan

Episode Notes

Ustadh Nouman Ali Khan delves on how religion itself becomes a means by which one promotes our own ego. It’s ironic because the Deen came so we humble ourselves and now we are using that very Deen to express our arrogance. This is not something that happens only in our youth but happens amongst our elders too. 

Where does ego come from? Ego comes from the starting point when someone doesn’t truly appreciate who Allah is. When that happens, we replace it with an appreciation of ourselves; that’s where it starts. On the inside there is an urge to show our supremacy where we assume that we are more righteous, more qualified and in a better position than the other, then in our heart, we have accumulated Kibr or arrogance.

The first big problem that helps us cleanse the heart is the remembrance of Allah. How often do we remember Allah? if you didn’t put any thought in any of the routine Adhkar that we do, then we have defeated its purpose. If we just don’t reflect upon them, then it is not dhikr, that’s just good review. That’s all that is.

Allah should be thanked and He should be praised for everything. Despite your troubles, you say Alhamdulillah but when you mean it, its something else. Now you are really remembering Allah. This Hamd of Allah and giving credit to Allah, what does that teach us about ourselves? 

We should pray to Allah to help us place our trust in Allah and not allow our hearts to become hard. He should make us a people sincerely of dhikr to Allah and grant us the gift of better company than ourselves that keeps our ego in check.we should also pray for the ability to give advice to those around us and make us share that love and affection and humility with the other Muslims and show them that sincerity from the bottom of our heart. We should pray that Allah makes us capable of taking advice and making the best of it and not allowing the advice to become a means by which our egos are inflated and keep us humble before Him, forgive our shortcomings that have occurred in the past.

Episode Transcript

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The humanist report

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me Nadine Manu.

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And Joshua who only the creme

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de la mina

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when I aku can levena kita

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kabhi luchar por la la

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la la. Emma do Percocet Boo Boo.

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Boo.

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Boo.

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Law how you in about the novelty

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for the

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local

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publisher, silly Emily Nakata melissani de coco de

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al hamdu Lillahi Rabbil alameen wa salatu salam ala season ambia will mousseline by the Minister Nebuchadnezzar II

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mean home, Amina Latina, Amina Mohammed Ali hut.

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But also the sub. I mean, you're right. I mean,

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I'm about to lay the castle. I'm really honored. And also kind of weirded out that you guys waited this long

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for waiting. If I sound a little out of it, it's probably because I am about eight hours of lecture straight of humbler. When inshallah Tada, I'm here to just share some very brief thoughts with you about an important matter. Something that doesn't come under much discussion nowadays, but it it needs our attention. It certainly needs our attention, Charla,

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the thing I want to talk to you about is a culture among young Muslims who go on a certain religious journey, especially in Western society. A lot of times,

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Muslim youth, they live a life of, let's just say partying, okay. And then they have an epiphany sometime in life, and they turn towards the religion, a lot of youth brothers and sisters have this change of heart, sometime in their life, and they become more serious gradually about the religion.

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But then what happens is, when they become more serious about the religion over time, they end up

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becoming very serious about the religion.

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Very, very passionate. And they find themselves a teacher, sometimes that teacher is a person, sometimes the teacher is a series of mp3 or lectures. Sometimes the teacher is a website, sometimes our teachers or blog, sometimes our teachers and anonymous screen name, right. But whatever it is, in the end, they find themselves a source that they associate as the authentic source for taking knowledge.

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And when they do, and they become very passionate about it, slowly, what starts happening is they become very rigid, become very, like tough. And the people around them, they don't see, you know, they notice that the people around them are not the same way as they are. They don't acknowledge the same teacher that they acknowledge. They're not understanding the dean the way they understand themselves. So what starts happening is first, they become frustrated with the people around them, especially their family. Right, you start changing, and the first people they become frustrated with is their own family. Why don't you understand this is the right way to follow the religion. And

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there's more and more friction, this happens even within the Muslim families, even more so when you're a Muslim and your family's not Muslim. But certainly even within your family if you're your family's Muslim, too. But now you're kind of rediscovering the religion on your own. Right? So this friction develops. But it's not limited to the family either. What happens is you have friends, we've always been friends. But those friends didn't take this religious journey that you did. Or if they did, they didn't take the same journey that you did they, they understand these a little different, or they're not as rigid about certain things as you are. They're not as tough about it as

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you are. And it becomes harder and harder for you to tolerate that. So you start questioning them a lot more. And you come into contact with people that don't see things the way you do. And you make it a point to let them know that they're wrong. That you're right, that this is the way they should do things. There's no other way of doing things, etc. This attitude develops, especially among youth. And there are many reasons for this attitude. There are many reasons for this attitude. The user himself or herself thinks they're doing what's called I'm going to be narrow and what

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they think they're commanding the good forbidding the evil after all,

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Telling the brother the sister, they're telling her if they're telling him and if they're doing a good thing, this is something they should be doing. This is what's going on in their head.

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What they don't realize, however, is there's something more going on. There's something else going on. You know, before you become religious, maybe

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you are, you know, you're the center of attention among your crew,

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your thought your again, your whatever, right, you're the center of attention. When you turn into the turns of the religion, you no longer have that.

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But you need something still, there's an urge inside you to want to show your domination over others is urgency, I want to show people that I am in some way shape, or form superior. And in this devious way, sometimes without even realizing it. Most of the time, they're telling people they're religious, like opinion, and a show of, you know, expressing their superiority.

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You know, they want to make sure the other person feels like they don't really know their religion. I know the religion. Let me tell you how it's supposed to be. Let me tell you, let me teach you the ayah. Let me teach you the Hadees Don't you know it's this way or that way or the other way? So the religion itself becomes a means by which you promote your own ego.

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It's ironic because the religion was revealed. So we humble ourselves.

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The Dean came, so we humble ourselves. And now we're using that very being to express our arrogance, to express our arrogance. And this is not just something that happens among the youth, by the way, this happens among elders to

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you know, if he's

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wondering, on what occasion did he refuse alarms that would

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refuse to make sense that right?

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What job was going to get? What high salary was admitted? He said, I'm going to receive what promotion was at the money. So I'm getting that if he said, No, no, I'm more qualified for that job. What was the job? A lot. So what you created the human being for what purpose? worship, right? And the

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image of the halifa he was going to be placed where on the earth? And what was his responsibility service to Allah, it's a religious title. In other words, I'm putting into simple terms, that I was given a religious honor, not a worldly honor. He wasn't given a high salary, a big house, all that none of that stuff, he was just given a religious honor.

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So if you think about it's kind of weird, at least was jealous of automatic Islam over a religious honor.

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His ego manifested because he thought he was more qualified to serve a lesbian then than otherwise, he I'm more qualified in this religious capacity. And you know, this arrogance manifests itself when somebody says I should be the president of the machine.

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I am the right MSA president. Why is why they pick him.

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Why did they pick her for this test? Why didn't they pick me?

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Religion, this is a religious task, you're not gonna get it. You don't get money when you become a president. You don't get any like you're in a new car when you run the machine. But yet you see across this country, people fighting tooth and nail over what religious titles, religion who's in charge of the machine whose opinion should be heard by this is a disease that started where it's pretty old. That virus started with the police. But he's also vying for religious authority. And this this is a disease it's the heart of it, it is a disease and one has to identify that disease if it exists inside themselves. You know, when the attitude seeps inside you thank God for me because

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if it wasn't for me, I don't know these people would have been so deviate.

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I at least I'm here to set them straight. If that's your attitude, you've got a serious problem. You've got you really have a serious problem. Because now you think that Dean depends on who

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yourself when doesn't need us? We need the last Dean but Allah Dean is not in No need of us. Right? We're lovin you. And Hamid, Allah is free of need, he doesn't need us. We have to humble ourselves. And this ego again, you know, I'm talking about it in a religious context. But in another context even happens inside the family. If I die, who's gonna take care of my family? Who's gonna pay the bills? If I don't do it, who's gonna do it? That's that thought comes in your mind. Right? But you know, our time of death is written.

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Whether you think you need to save this much money or that much money or you need to get that promotion or you know, whatever you need to do you think what you need to do. But if Allah decides, I'm gone tonight.

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If it's written, it's written, and you know what, after I go, my kids, my wife, my husband, whoever Allah has already taken care of them don't. I should never have thought I was the one taking care of them to begin with. I wasn't the one taking care of them. Although it had been all along. I was deluding myself into thinking it depended on me. Nothing depends on me. Nothing depends on me.

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I am not a source of any good it was a source of awkward that that you know that when you when ego is the root problem, where does ego come from? ego comes from the source point, the starting point is, when someone doesn't truly appreciate what Allah is who realize, when you don't appreciate who Allah is, you replace that with an appreciation of your own self. That's where it starts.

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That's really what the root of the problem is. So now, the first point I wanted to make really, inshallah tada

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is people that were the facade of the religion, they look religious, they talk religious, they have knowledge, may Allah protect us from this, this is a very serious problem. They look more practicing than the other guy who doesn't have a beard, she looks more more more, you know, Takia than the other sister who doesn't wear a hijab, they look more religious, the outside outwardly is very good. But on the inside, there is an ego. On the inside, there is an urge to show your supremacy you are more righteous, you are more qualified, you are better in a better position than the other and in your heart. If you look down upon another Muslim no matter what their condition, if you look down

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upon another Muslim, if you do that, then you have this thing inside your heart called gibberish.

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gibberish arrogance. And you know, we learn from the from the advice of the Prophet salallahu alaihe. Salam that the one who has a mustard seed which is basically you're seeing an atom, okay, a molecule, nothing. That much of arrogance in their heart, what is not what is not open to them, you know, right? center is not open to them. Jenna is not open to them. So what I'm trying to say is, you have a Muslim who does bad things, you know, the guy drinks whatever he doesn't really bad stuff.

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His evil actions are outwardly.

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But your evil action is what?

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inwardly? On the outside, you look good. You look like you're doing all right. His action is punishable for sure. For sure. You don't think yours is.

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And if you were to compare, even though nobody's condoning his behavior, if you were to compare, which is a bigger problem, that is harder to fix. Think about that. Is arrogance, a bigger problem to fix? You know, what's why it's a bigger problem, because you can't even see it.

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At least his drinking problem, you can see it, there are things you can do to address it. But this problem in here, it's a hard thing to fix. because deep down inside, and the only one who can sense it is who, yourself. Nobody can even nobody can tell you, if it's in there, it's in there. We can just any of us each other, we can judge or I can you know, while I'm giving this talk, you're listening like, I can think of somebody who's pretty arrogant right now, that should be listening to this. Don't think of anyone else that in and of itself in and of itself. That's a sign of arrogance. Who should you be thinking of

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yourself? the counsel of the religion is not for anyone else first, who is it for first? yourself. We've become so like desensitized that the religious, religious, or the Council of the Koran, the Council of the Greek words of the messenger solicit them, that Council is for everybody else, wait till I tell them what I just heard. For who's supposed to hear it first, who's supposed to internalize it first. yourself, you got to think about that. We become very selfish and self centered and self serving when it comes to a large religion. You know, the husband hears a hadith about the rights of the wife, or the rights of the husband? What's the first thing he does?

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Hey, you know what I heard today? Let me tell you,

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the parent, the parent, what is the first idea he tells his child? What do they need to

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be the best to your parents? Is not self serving? Are we here to serve ourselves? Is the religion here to serve our needs? Or are we here to serve?

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Right? It's a change of attitude. It's a completely different attitude. So this is the first problem ego that I wanted to bring to your attention. Something that only you can gauge in yourself. Nobody else can gauge that for you. But if that's there, no matter how much good is there on the outside, is it amount anything? No, because your heart is not sound. And Allah says on the day of judgment in the man at the lobby, and even sitting with the exception of non accept those who come before Allah with a sound heart with a sound heart, right? So we have to fix this thing on the inside this ego on the inside. I'm going to give you before I go to the second point is just give me some tips on how

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to tell if you have an ego problem. Just some basic tips. If somebody corrects you,

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right, you get really offended. Really like, how can you say that to me, bro? How would you set me? Who do you think you are?

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I think he is correcting me like that. If that's your first reaction. If that's your first reaction, then you have an ego problem.

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Even if that guy is being I don't want to use bad language. Okay? He's not right. He shouldn't have said what he said to you. You're

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first reaction should not be hoozy to talk to me, you know what your first reaction should be? Maybe through this really inappropriate comment. Allah is telling me something that I should take heed of.

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Maybe there's some truth. Okay, it's not 100% true. Is it a little bit true? Is it 1%? True? Is that a half a percent true, whatever, it is true, I should take it on myself. I should save myself.

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Instead of worrying about who is here to talk to me that way. don't develop that attitude in yourself. Take the good from even bad advice. Even a nasty comment, take the good from it, leave the rest. It's okay.

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If you feel the need to interject in every conversation,

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if you feel the need to have your opinion heard, no matter what, if you get really offended that your opinion was not taken in the end, you gave your opinion somebody else give another opinion. But your opinion was not the final one taken somebody else's was and you walk away offended? You've got an ego problem. Especially matters of religion. The MSA, the masjid some people get together, they take some Sure. What should we do? And you give your opinion somebody else gives their opinion. And in the end what the show is for the sake of a lawyer? No. But isn't it when you're doing work for the machete, or whatever? It's for the sake of Allah. So you give your opinion for whose sake?

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tomasik. You didn't give it for your own sake, you didn't give it to serve yourself? Let's see if my opinion comes out on top. That's not what you gave it. If you did, you've got a serious problem. So you gave it for Allah sake. Now when it was, if you gave it for LASIK, has it already been counted in your favor?

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If you did that for LASIK, a sincere opinion, sincere counsel for the sake of Allah did already count in your favor. Yes, you got credit for it already. Whether the people take it or not, you already earned your credit. So the fact that it's taken or not taken is no longer meaningful to you. Because you already got what you wanted, you understand. But if your intention wasn't for the sake of Allah, guess what you're gonna get offended, you're gonna say no, I gave my opinion. So it will be the supreme opinion. And that didn't come out. So I'm offended. This is easy with a check. Nobody can check that for you. If you felt bad, you can check yourself you have to check yourself.

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You know, these are these are exercises that are difficult to engage in. They're difficult to engage, we have to engage in them. So the first real problem is hidden ego, the outward is religious, and the inward is basically egotistical, this urge to show supremacy over others. The second problem that again, outward is religious, the outward is good. The outward is knowledgeable the outward has good speech. The outward has good, good clothing, right? Everything looks like this guy, man. Such a good brother. Right? The out word is great. You know what happens on the inside. The first thing was the heart became egotistical. The second problem is the heart becomes hard.

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You're no longer moved by Allah's words.

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You're no longer moved when you hear cron.

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It's been a long time since you cried. And so far. It's been a long time, since your heart felt something. You hear it all the time. And the thing that crosses your mind is I already noticed.

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That's what crosses your mind. I don't need to you I already heard this stuff. Already. No one is gonna say the only thing that's going on your mind when Salah is going on is that Coachella could have been a little better.

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That mud was not long enough.

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Right? That one I don't know about that one. That's all that's going on in your salon. You know what that is? indication is good that you read but a tough heart.

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Right? You got good to read. But your heart has become the words of alarm not enough to shake you. They don't move you like that you just pass by them. And then the knowledge keeps increasing. And on the in your public life You look very devoted to the religion. But when you're in your private, when nobody else sees you, this really evil person comes out. This person who has a certain behavior, who does certain things that you would never imagine this person would be doing those things. When you look at their appearance, when you look at their public face, you would never think this person is that way in their private life. But in their private life, they almost turn into someone else. When

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they're by themselves, they turn into someone else, someone you wouldn't even recognize. So there's this monster inside who's got serious issues, but on the outside it's a great person.

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Nobody can fix that for you because nobody even knows that exists. And so we all inside you. So the first problem is ego. The second problem is a heart that becomes hard. These are both spiritual problems by the problems of the heart, aren't they? Right? And the only one who can gauge This is

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yourself and now there are some inshallah, towards the end inshallah, Tada. Some tips on how to fix this stuff. Right? That's, that'll be towards the end. I want to just wrap the second point up really quick and shallow of the heart becoming hard.

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Elijah says, The I recited in the beginning sort of had the the list talking to the people of the book. And then he talks to us. He says I'm yet needed Edina Avenue

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isn't a time for people who claim to believe yet. And duck Shakuni decreed that their hearts should be filled with all their hearts should be overpowered, they should become numb, you know when your muscles will become loose and weak? That's for sure, actually, when the muscles feel weakness in them, you feel like an overwhelming sense of an overpowering feeling. Right? Allah says their hearts should feel overpowered and weakened. Right? By the fear of Allah by the remembrance of Allah isn't a time yet for believers that their hearts should feel like that, because of remembering Allah. woman has no meaning. And isn't it time that their hearts should feel like that? Because of what

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came down from the truth? What is that? What came down from the truth? Ron is referring to the fraud, then only gives a warning in the same idea. He says, Well, I yaku nucala Dena kitanomine COVID, they better not become like those who were given the book before that much before them. For Paula Ahmed, a long period passed over them, meaning they were they were holding on to the book for a long time. But as they were holding on to the book, you know, when you first turned to the religion, you were very excited about it.

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That excitement went away, all that remained was the outer shell. So what happened to those people focus on kulu home, their hearts became hard. After a long period of time, that religion just become became a routine, something they just do something that's just there. It's just they're just doing it because they're used to doing it. But it's not something that moves their heart anymore. Their hearts have become hard. And once your heart becomes hard, it's easy for you to become corrupt. Therefore, the next part of the work Cassie Romain homes as much of them are corrupt. Many good number of them are actually corrupt. The IRB ended with the people of the loophole where did it

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start me I needed Medina Amano the discussion is really about those who actually claim to believe and how their hearts become hard. And if that's what you sense inside yourself. And that's what you sense and you know, no, no one can gauge that for you. Once again, I iterate that again, no one can use that for you. The only one who engaged that for you is yourself. No one else. how humble you are before Allah, how humble you are before others, you can you can gauge that, you know, except by for yourself. A large budget if you find yourself in a hopeless state where you feel like your heart has in fact become hard. And you have developed this kind of this sort of a problem where you know, the

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religious, sometimes the religious personality or the appearance of the religious personality is very intimidating.

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It's hard to talk to them. It's hard to hear you're scared to be around them because you know, they're going to talk down to you about something. Right, you're afraid of them a lot of times sisters that wear hijab, sisters that door ajar, keep across the street and go the other way.

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Go there she comes again, her job police. She's gonna tell me something she's gonna say something made me feel bad. Right. Now on the one hand, that's paranoia. But on the other hand, sometimes it is true. There are people that are very condescending to others. They're arrogant towards others. Tell me this. Why don't you a party animal not too long ago.

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And when people try to tell you about it, how did you behave towards them? Do you forget where you came from? How far elaborate you write. People forget that people forget where they used to be. And we're a lover of them. And then years later, they see someone who's a party animal as a stop loss can be like, how could you be like that? Where were you? That guy should remind you of yourself. You were exactly like that.

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So you should remember the last river upon you.

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Elijah Fatima not used to be at the very edge of the fire. Franco de Caminha. He pulls you out of it, and it's in that Allah says for Allah subhanahu lubicon. Right. Same I put love between your hearts. You have love between your hearts, you have to remember you used to be at the fires at yourself. And you got pulled back and it wasn't because of you it because it's not because you're a really smart person. And that's why you deserve to be pulled back. Whose favor was it to you?

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How dare you look at somebody else and things like that. Right? This this, this arrogance is a horrible thing. It'll wipe out all the goodness out of you wipe all the goodness out of you. And it is big most of the time. Our youth who ended up into heated debates about whatever it was a theology issue. If it's an issue, if it's an MSA presidency, I don't care what the issue is, doesn't even matter. You know, usually what the root problem of the debate is. It's Eagle. It's really the big Eagle. That's all it is. People talking about scholars like they're talking about some athlete. You know that guy I don't like I don't like what he says excuse

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Do you know what what what God he made for the sake of Allah, even if you disagree with him, the fact that he left his home, whoever that scholar is, and traveled halfway across the world to seek knowledge, and spent nights and nights and nights praying and memorizing and studying, you're going to just pass a comment on him. Like, I don't like what he says, I think he's deviant.

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How dare you? What have you done? What puts you in that position to be able to say that?

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And you know, if you disagree with a Muslim and you think they're wrong, what should be your first attitude towards them? You should pass them pass a verdict on them that they're headed to hell? Or should you genuinely be concerned for them? And if you were genuinely concerned for them, you wouldn't talk to anybody else about them? Who would you talk to?

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themselves, you would go and talk to themselves. If that if there were sincerity in you, you would address your concerns to them, not anybody else. But this is your this shows lack of sincerity, this shows ego. This shows you want your you've got your team, you've got you're rooting for your side, and you're just going to make comments about the immature, arrogant ego to say this is what it is. Now, if that's the state we reached this is that we're coming to a little bit of the remedies. First of all, the first remedy is hope itself. Hope isn't lost. A larger widget in the next is so beautiful, that's part of what he says, No, you had better no anila you in the garden of Allah gives

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no doubt that Allah gives life to the earth after it had died.

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And I was talking about the hearts in the previous hire. What's he talking about now, giving life to the earth. Allah is telling you for lucky and bring life out of the dead Earth. You can give life to your heart again.

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Your heart can become soft again. It's not beyond hope. But be gentle.

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alone.

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Welcome back. Hello. We're clarifying the miraculous signs. So you can understand, you get the point. There is hope for you. You can get your heart cleansed. It is possible. You know if I can bring the life back to heart now, the heart back to life. So the remedies now, what are the remedies? How do you fix yourself? How do you fix the ego problems you have? The first big problem that helps you cleanse your heart out is the remembrance of Allah. That's the first thing you have to address. How often do you remember Allah azza wa jal and remembering Allah is not just saying cliche things like you know, just as God you memorize a parallel, la la, la la la la la la la. And

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you do some wicked with these are incredible a scar from the Sunnah of the Prophet, listen them. But if they're thoughtless, if you didn't put any thought in them, if you didn't reflect upon them, then it's bad because

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that's just good review. It's all that is. hamdulillah means all credit goes to All praise is for Allah. Allah should be thanked, and it should be praised for everything.

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So you're having you're having a tough day. What do you say? hamdulillah Not only do I thank Allah, I also praise him.

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I whatever is happening must be good and so good that I thank him for it. And that that I did not just say thank you for him. I also praise him for it. Wonderful, awesome thing he did

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in light of your Zack lock, and it's really nice to have you

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in despite your you know, troubles. He said something, but when you mean it, it's something else. Now you really remembering Allah.

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And you know this, this habit of giving credit to a lot? What does that teach you about yourself? Whenever something good will come? You think you accomplished something good? What are you supposed to say?

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Do you actually have credit to learn something? But you do that from your you don't just say somebody comes to you and says, great Honda is Alhamdulillah Yes, I know.

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Then you will have to realize that really Alhamdulillah.

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That's, that's more about yourself than anybody else. Right? You have to learn to be uncomfortable with praise. You should be uncomfortable with praise. You should be you should be quick to give credit immediately to a lot and at the same time to put yourself down. You don't know whether you don't know. Either. You should say that. You don't know what I'm really like a lot of us. Just be gone. That's it. I don't need your praise. I need your dog. I don't need you to thank me. I don't sister. I don't need you to tell me the other sister says you're such a good sister. No, I don't need that. You hear that from me? That doesn't help me. That actually hurts me. Because when

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somebody tells me how good I am, what does that boost

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my ego. Right? And that's the biggest problem you can ever have. So nobody's doing anyone a favor by praising them. And one last thing to add to this about humility, when somebody comes and talks real nasty to you. Right? And they're, they're they're condescending to you.

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It's a good way to put your

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Your ego down. So they may have even done you a favor that may have been they think they're they've, they've won over you. But maybe that's a message from Allah, maybe that's a gift from Allah, the gift gives you the gift of humility. Maybe that's what it is. That's what limits me or how I used to say, when someone offends me, I think it's a gift from Allah that is putting is teaching me humility.

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It's a different attitude than learn to serve people, for the sake of Allah. Give to the you know, a lot of times people get burnt out this the last thing I want to say about religious folks, right, especially youth, they do so much activity, they join an organization, they join a group to join a machine to join whatever program and they're fired up. And they're burning themselves out running after this program, left and right and left, right. And eventually, you know, what happens? They get burned out, they get completely burnt out. And when they burn out, they're never able to recover from that, again, keep the balance, take it easy. You don't have to do everything in one weekend.

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You don't have to do everything in one summer. It's okay. You can do keep it gradual. Keep up with it a long time. But when you do things for the sake of a lot, and you get frustrated that you're not seeing results, like you know, this this talk, I was invited. I said okay, okay, I'll come Sunday night, no problem. Why not come Saturday night? Nobody's gonna be here. No, my first reaction was so

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I know coming in for you know, not coming in.

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With a bigger reason.

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You're not paying me who's paying me?

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Right? So if there's one person here, or 100 people here, or no one here, then I already get my credit if I had the right intention.

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I did. If I had the right intention. Why did you come here? If you came here because your friends are coming, because you got nagged into coming. Because your ride isn't leaving. So you're stuck here.

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And you got nothing.

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But if you were here, see what your intention was, I'm going to remember a lot tonight.

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I'm going to come closer to a lesson I did even the weight when when there was nothing going on here. Even the count in your favor. change of attitude change of intention. Right? It'll help you so much in life. Because when you do things, you'll pass out flyers, and you will invite people and nobody will show up and use the wrong people don't listen, you won't be frustrated. You know why? Why were you passing out the flyers? Why were you sending the invitations? Where did you put the expectations with

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your job, your job is the effort, his job is the results. You're not in charge of the results. When you internalize that life becomes so much easier. It becomes you become more satisfied with yourself. You'll become frustrated though there were only a few people. There could have been more Yes, there could have been more. But that's in the hands of Allah. Did I do my part? Did I make enough effort? That's the only question does and where my efforts seriously for the sake of Allah? That's the question to ask. These things I bring up because intentions are not something you make once there was one time in your life, you made the intention. You can serve a lesser religion, you

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get to become a better Muslim, you made that intention. But that intention can get rusty.

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So you got to keep going back. You got to keep fixing it. And you know, everybody else thinks your intention is strong, because they only see what the outside what don't they see the inside and what because they see the outside. They tell you you're pretty good man. And you start believing them too.

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So you're only making the problem worse for yourself. The first remedy was remembering Allah. The second remedy find better company, find company of people that are better than yourself. The third remedy important remedy learn to keep your mouth shut.

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Learn to keep your mouth shut. If you see something really bad.

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Find a humble way of giving advice to a Muslim I think are the words I'm going to say to them. Are they going to make them even more? You know averse to the religion? Or should I find some loving soft way of slowly pulling them back without compromising the principles? But am I What can I bring them in to closer to the maybe change their company? Maybe change of scenery? Maybe if they hurt a little bit of ice? You don't want to change their behavior First you want to change what first? Their heart what's the heart change behavior will change automatically. Most of the time we go after people's What? We go after their behavior. You can change people's behavior. You can only remind

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them and hope that changes their hearts. Right you Your job is to remind the messenger sees people doing [???]. people doing gopher analyze telling him year after year after year for the kids in the car for the kids in the crowd. Remind them reminder will have benefit. The man salallahu alayhi wasallam is doing damage to the same bunch of really bad people for 10 years and

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ally keeps telling me remind, it's going to have benefit. Remind, it's going to have benefit. You remind someone it doesn't have benefit. You know what you say? I reminded him, Caden, listen,

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that guy's not gonna benefit from reminder. Look at the seat of the messenger. How often does he remind some of the law Hardison and a lucky suddenly, you know, you may not see the benefit, you may not see the benefit, but is there still benefit? There is and who's the first person who benefits from sincere reminder?

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The one who gives the reminder who is it benefiting first you yourself? Because you are you are accepting that you the words are coming from you. But the effect will come from where?

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From a large origin. And if the universe didn't have any effect, then maybe there was something wrong with who he was don't your first reaction shouldn't be there's something wrong with him. He didn't listen to me. That's not your first reaction. You know, the messenger RNA subtle stuff. And this is the last comment I'll make. When he gave advice to the when he gives out to the people and they didn't accept one of the thoughts that crept into the messengers mind was maybe I'm not doing my job, right?

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Maybe I could have said it better. And Allah azzawajal reminds him No, no, no, no, you're doing your job, right?

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You're doing what you're supposed to do. You just keep warning us. Keep in mind, don't worry about the results. Just keep doing what you're supposed to do. You do what you're supposed to do. You know, along these lines. The last idea came to mind I should share it with you because it's important in this issue in sha Allah to add one from Shura,

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Shura server 42. And another IRA in which the messengers is given advice in either Avalon so to

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insert assura on a Roku lm embody manager,

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Bahian by now, they didn't disagree with each other.

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until after knowledge came.

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They didn't disagree with each other until after knowledge came. So who's disagreeing now knowledgeable people knowledgeable in what?

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knowledgeable in what science, physics, chemistry, biology, what are they eligible in religion, knowledgeable in the book, knowledgeable in the center, and what are they doing after that knowledge, falling into disagreement, why Allah gives the reason to block him they know home out of an urge to dominate over each other.

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They had this urge they want to feel superior and what's their weapon by which they feel superior knowledge of the religion, they turned that into a means by which they can they can inflate their ego

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but a horrible crime. And it's that I have a large budget by the end he says when Kelly Mattoon SOHCAHTOA club became Illa jelly masala, the cobia

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had it not been that a time had been appointed for them from ahead of time. Meaning had it not been that Allah had already decided when they will be punished, their matter would have been dealt with immediately. They would have been punished right away. This is a high crime. This is a high crime that they're doing. Using the weapon to disagree. The knowledge is a weapon to disagree with each other. Not for any other sincere reason except ego. a horrible Milla protects us from that crime, especially our youth and youth youth culture in this country. You're playing ball, somebody blocks your shot, what happens?

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The next the next play, you better avenge and revive your dignity because the tribal look down upon you. Right? Because this culture How dare you against me? It's not just a sport. It's a test of ego. Right? Somebody cuts you off on the road what gets enraged you with your Honda Civic? pass me by me with the Empire? No, no, I will show you.

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I will I will express my supremacy very, very soon. I'm going to Florida and show you how it's done. What is that? a show of

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ego. Constantly in our culture we're being we're being sent the message inflate your ego, it's all about you. So you know the songwriter, the singer, my chain, my hat, my shoes, my socks, whatever? About Me, me, me, you can't touch me. You can't look at me. You can't look at me in the eye. I'm gonna do this to you that I'm going to do that. What's this about? What's the whole message? ego, worship of the self. That's all it is. That's really what it boils down to. And this Deen is only a dream for those who humble themselves before Allah. Right? So that's very, very important message of this of this ayah the last If not, and especially for those who are in a position of leadership.

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Those of you that others look up to those of you that know and i'll think even that you have more knowledge than others. Allah tells us messengers on Larissa Fatima letting me know Mahi Linda home when I wouldn't have been a diva and football main how lick?

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It is by the special favor and mercy of a lot that use a lot of setup are lenient to

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them meaning the Sahaba

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It's a special mercy from Allah that use of Allah Hardison them are lenient towards them.

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When opened up,

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if you were tough, harsh of the heart, if you were stiff with them, if you were arrogant towards them, if you were even hard, you know, rough around the edges when you talk to them, if you're, you know, stirring with them, then boom in holodeck, they would have dispersed away from you. They Who's they?

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Sahaba would have ran away from you. Who's you?

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the messengers. Can you imagine the Sahaba running away from the Prophet? Allah didn't say if you didn't call to the truth, they would run away.

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If you stop teaching them, and they would run away, if you didn't present, you know, the lucky they would run away. What would the messenger do the victim run away, he's still teaching put on, he's still giving the truth. Everything's the same was the only thing that changed in the ayah. That would make them run away.

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He's tough, he's harsh with them. That would be enough and they will run away.

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What a message allies teaching his messengers on Alexa, if that's the message to the most amazing leader, you don't think it applies most to us?

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It applies enormously to if you're in any position of leadership. And if I was to ask for a show of hands, Don't raise your hands, rhetorically, if I was to ask for a show of hands, how many people are in a position of leadership, you know what all of you should be raising your hand. You're all in a position of leadership. You're all in a position where you should be able to give counsel to someone and that's fine. But how do you give that counsel, especially if they're Muslim, instead of making them more averse to religion, learn to be a little more tolerant. don't justify wrong behavior. That's not what I'm saying at all. If you see something wrong, call a spade a spade. Look,

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this is wrong. I really are worried about you. And there's ways of saying it right? You You know you're going to hell for doing that. Right.

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That's one way of saying,

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Man, you You should be ashamed yourself. You do. That's one way of saying it. Well, I'm really worried about you seriously. Why? You know, he knows it's bad. And I love you, man. Why do you do it? You need help? Why Really? Just stop and

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let's talk about it. Sincere? Yeah.

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Let's talk about sincerity. It shows you know, the way you talk to people that shows if you're sincere, or you're just trying to just, you know, pass comments on them, you know, just put them down. This difference is the difference in

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meaning they're humble, powerless when they present themselves to believers. That's the attitude of God. But then finally, how do you know for sure you are sincere, it's in the eye and we're done in that same fire for unknown oneself in the home, wash our homes

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after they mess up, and you're lenient towards them if they mess up, number one, forgive them lovingly for our foreign home. Then ask a lot of forgive them.

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You know, asking a lot of forgive them is that

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you some brother does something bad. You say hey, by the way, May Allah forgive you.

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That's not the stuff alone. When should you ask a lot of forgive them?

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When you're asking a lot of forgive yourself in private, because the private door is what? sincere? That's sincere enough in front of me but by the way, bro, you're pretty messed up. But May Allah forgive you. I may go off for you. That's not what the is saying. That's actually a show of what

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arrogance. Ego makes sincere to offer them in private first off alone. And then to make them feel like you think of them as a decent person will shall be at home will

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consult them and take your opinion, as their opinion treat them like a decent person. The messengers like Sam doesn't need anybody's Sure. He makes decisions based on revelation. Allah commanded him to consult them in decision making. Why so they would feel what? included dignified. This is the characteristics of a leader. Right? He makes those who are under him feel dignified, or sharp at home for now. For either as a de facto Khurana law when you make a decision, place your trust in Allah because your decision is not the key to success. It is a law that is the key to success in life without killing. Along with Adam Adam Killeen. May Allah make us from those who place our trust

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in Allah azza wa jal may lucky, not allow our hearts to become hard, and the laws of Jamaica so people sincerely a vicar to Allah, may Allah grant us the gift of better company than ourselves that keeps our ego in check. They'll give us the ability to give advice to those around us, the people of La ilaha illAllah the people who share this wonderful Kadima with us are more beloved to us and closer to us than even the bond of blood. That brings us closer than the bond of blood and milazzo Jamaica share that love and affection and unity with the other Muslim and show them that sincerity from the bottom of our heart. May Allah azza wa jal penetrate good advice into the hearts of those

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who need it will make us capable of taking advice

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Taking the best of it, and not allowing the advice to become a means by which our egos are inflated, realize that which will keep us humble before him. Forgive our shortcomings that have occurred in the past. My last panel was either from here on from here on out makers of those whose hearts are perpetually being cleansed. And finally, I asked a lot of soldiers to accept all of our gatherings including this one, and to accept, you know, all of the good deeds and the acts of worship we do for him with all of their shortcomings, and all of the flaws, even our salon horrible and all of the shortcomings. aside, we'll accept whatever patchwork we do, we'll just overlook all the shortcomings

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and accept from all of us

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in the same era of our data demo data in the theme of Salalah

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Alayhi

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salaam aleikum wa rahmatullah wa barakato.

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I hope you don't have any questions

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at all.

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Good.

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None of the sister side, right?

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Usually, that means a question.

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Yeah.

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Sure.

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What do

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we have to do what to do, but we're not responsible for the results? Because as a result, God

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does that? Do we have to choose the right thing? Or the right way, basically, to make the best way to get the result? But if you don't get it, right, that's exactly right.

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No, you have to choose the best course you choose the best course you apply yourself to your best. And then place your trust.

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Right? We this is this is what we learned from the legacy of the prophets, they apply themselves to the nth degree, and then rely on Allah, there are two extremes. One extreme is I'm going to make all the efforts and all the results are in my hands.

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The other extreme is I'm going to make no efforts. And the results in a lesson. These are two extremes in both diseased attitudes, what's the right attitude?

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I'm going to make whatever effort I can to the best of my ability, while knowing

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the results are in the muscles. That's the balanced attitude. Okay.

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No questions. Right sisters? This is great. There's a question.

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Okay.

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Going once

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or no?

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Go ahead says.

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I thought that's what I just did. But okay.

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Yeah, if somebody comes across as

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saying they're more intelligent than I don't think those kinds of people should be advised

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by you. If they talking to you like, I think it's better to get them advised by elders or other peers. Because if you come if you if they're talking like that to you, and then you tell them I don't think you should talk like that, or whatever, you're just going to create more antagonism. It's, sometimes it's good to get a third party, to maybe in a subtle and careful way, throw it in. And the other thing is, this is what I learned this sometimes is wisdom you learn from elder Muslims. This is his personal story. There's a brother and a machine. I know I have, most of my best friends are really old people

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in their 70s and 80s. And such, right? This is really old gentleman. And he you know, we used to meet at the masjid every day and stuff. And there was a fight in the masjid was a nasty fight.

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You know what you see models, the pre op. Okay? So these two guys just going at it and they're really nasty to each other. And, you know, one basically calls the other dumb essentially, watered down versions, okay. But anyway, this older gentleman knows both of them and stops talking to him. He's always nice, nice s&m to them, how are you and just walks away. Usually He's like, nice longer conversation is very cordial, but he walks away. And you know, he's so wonderful his personality, those people, they feel it, they feel like he doesn't talk to us like he used to anymore. So one day one of them This happened in front of one of them just came up to me said, you know, you don't talk

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to me like used?

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Are you mad at me? Because

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this is what you don't talk to me the same way? He goes, yes, I don't.

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So why don't you? He says, Look, I saw you get angry with that other brother the other day. And I just got scared, maybe one day, you'll get angry at me.

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I'm just, I wouldn't want you to be angry at me. So I'm just trying to be safe.

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And you put it in such a soft way.

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And the guy felt so bad. He went and apologized to the other brother and they made up.

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Right, that's the wisdom of an elder, you know, they know how to approach things. In this sometimes it's the way it's our demeanor towards people. You know, you can show some people, some people, you can show someone that you've heard their feet, that they've hurt your feelings, without actually saying you can show it with sort of a distant demeanor, and you can and people, people use hurtful words towards you. My advice is to distance yourself from them in a respectful way, they'll still because we don't cut relations in Islam, we don't do that. We don't cut ourselves off from people. But it's a healthy thing to distance yourself from someone who uses abusive language towards you.

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That's a healthy thing to do. And if there's any ounce of good in them, they will feel it. Right and they'll come to you and say What's happened? Why aren't you talking to me? But if there's no good in them, guess what? They'll say Ah, good for them good for me. I don't want to talk to you anyway. So that's probably good for both of you. Right, but distancing yourself is probably my best advice, which I don't

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know that's the it's a silent kind of advice.

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And in such cases, but left on

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Robin

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I think Robin panic a lot more we can look at whether that stuff will come through with extra money.