18. Types of Friends Mentioned in Quran

Nouman Ali Khan


Channel: Nouman Ali Khan

File Size: 19.75MB

Share Page

Episode Notes

Ustadh Nouman Ali Khan discusses the different types of friends mentioned in the Qur’an.

  • WALLI (The Protector, The Helper) – A friend who cares for us, when we are in trouble and he guides us. It also means a friend with whom one has great intimacy, with him or her, we feel warm & comfortable.
  • SADDIQUE – A genuine friend, who is our friend for our sake, not to get any kind of benefit from us. The one who never gives up on us when we start making mistakes. He remains in touch with us even if we establish a distance with them because of their honesty. He is the one who is our Shafaee.
  • SAHIB (The person sitting next to you) – It’s a casual acquaintance or someone who is looking out for you, Concerned about you and Tries to help you to the best of her ability.
  • WALEJA – A friend who is a partner in your business. He is involved in every matter of your life. There is Extreme trust involved in this kind of friendship.
  • BITA’ANA  – A friend who keeps your secrets.
  • QAREEN – A friend with whom you have a lot in common. Both always think alike.
  • KHALEEL – he or she always thinks about you, even when you are not with him or her.
  • RAFEEQ – A friend with whom you feel relaxed and get comfort in her company.
  • KHAZOUL – a friend Who only acts like a friend. At convenient times remains with you, but when you are in trouble that kind of friend disappears. He is Deceitful like Shaytan.
  • KHADAN  – This kind of friendship is between girls and boys. It is strongly prohibited in Islam.


AI generated text may display inaccurate or offensive information that doesn’t represent Muslim Central's views. Therefore, no part of this transcript may be copied or referenced or transmitted in any way whatsoever.

AI Generated Transcript ©

00:00:06--> 00:00:08

This is not going to be a long talk.

00:00:09--> 00:00:16

And I hope to make it as interactive as possible not among yourself, yourself and me. So we try to cut down the conversation in.

00:00:17--> 00:00:33

The title of this talk, as it was given to me was the importance of company. And inshallah, I'm going to start with a Hadith of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. And as we continue throughout this talk, this talk, that one Hadith is the central idea that I'm trying to get across,

00:00:34--> 00:01:21

is the Messenger of Allah says, De Luca manual. What that means in Simple English is a person depends on the religion of their friend, a person depends on the religion of their friend. So watch out each of you, who you make a friend, who you make friends with. So in other words, it doesn't matter if you're knowledgeable or righteous or religious or not, your downfall will not come from you necessarily, it will come from who? Your friend, right? So in this very powerful belief, the Messenger of Allah Azza wa sallam gave us religious advice. And the advice doesn't have anything to do with worship, or spending time learning religion, or anything, the essential advices, who you

00:01:21--> 00:01:58

make friends with, right, so it's the center is one of the most essential things in our religion, who you make friends with. I give you a small example about friendship. I met this person a couple of months ago, who was actually in jail a few times, he had been arrested a few times for trying to evolve and for drug dealing, and things like this. And one of his friends was Muslim, one of his friends. And after being getting in trouble so many times he didn't have a place to stay. So he called up this old friend of his who happened to be a Muslim, and said, Can I hang out with you for a few days, can I just stay over with you. So he stayed over with him. And as he spent time with

00:01:58--> 00:02:15

that, a friend of his he got introduced to how that friend of his lives a life of Islam. And he actually took Shahada, he became a Muslim. Right. And now he's actually I know him from he lives in Cincinnati. And because of him, I know at least a dozen people that have become Muslim.

00:02:16--> 00:02:54

But this person, the only thing that a lot, you know, Allah is the one who guides but the only door open for him, that brought him to Islam and made him a vehicle for so many other people to accept to some, the only thing was a friend, that's all I did for him. So he opened the door to a friend, that's all it was. On the other hand, at the same time, what has to be very careful of the wrong kinds of things. Now, what I'm going to share with you tonight, but something I've only talked about before one other time, and that is the different kinds of friends that are talked about in the Quran. The Quran actually speaks about the the matter the subject matter of friendship, and gives

00:02:54--> 00:03:26

friends different terms. So there's different Arabic vocabulary that I'm going to be sharing with you. I don't expect all of you to remember it, but I'd be impressed if you did, inshallah. So I'll start with the first one. The first term for a friend or an associate that's using the Koran is Pauline, Pauline, okay. Now it's not using the best connotation. So I'm going to share with you in what connotation it occurs. Before I explain to you what this actually means. For the five main home in the Canada Corinne. There's a bunch of people that make it all the way to Jenga.

00:03:27--> 00:04:03

They're hanging out together, and the rest of the rewards are being given to them in the midst of all their good times. One of them says, You know, I used to have this Corinne, I used to have this friend. So this guy's already made it to Gemini, he's hanging out with his new friends. And in the back of his mind, the thought comes, there's this friend I used to have, that I used to hang out with all the time. Now, a little bit about the word, though it actually comes from another word in Arabic, which is a rope used in Arabic to tie two camels together. So Corinne is a kind of friend that's always with you. They're always spending time with you. They're always calling you. They're

00:04:03--> 00:04:34

always texting you, they're always emailing you. Whenever you get on your email, this first instant message that pops up is theirs, right? So this is a friend that's always always always around, like in college, it could be your roommate, right? The person that's always right next to you, or the guy that sits next to you in every class in school or something, right? This is your coding. So this person gets the agenda and he says, I used to have a Korean Come to think of it. I wonder what happened. Right? And then he says, Yeah, he remembers what he's saying is really close friend used to say that

00:04:35--> 00:04:36

in academia,

00:04:38--> 00:04:59

he used to say, Man, come on, you pray and you you know, you don't look at look this way or that way. Or you don't go to these websites and you don't have these problems. You don't go to that party that everybody's going to really and you think you're on the right path. You're from the truthful apparently. So my buddy, my buddy who used to be in the old thing used to live a life of partying basically, he used to make fun of me because I used to have

00:05:00--> 00:05:35

Going over those things. Now, keep in mind when people are friends, they have access to the same thing. You know, your friend wants to go play basketball before he goes, What does he do? He gives you a call and said you want to go, right? He's gonna go see a movie or something before he goes, or she goes, they're gonna call, they're gonna say, hey, you want to join me? Right? So when people are really close together, they want to take when friendship is like that, then whenever one does an activity invites the other to that activity. So it seems as though this, this this era that has been mentioned, what it implies is, most of us we make friendships based on mutual interest. Right. So

00:05:35--> 00:06:07

you make friendships, for example, a lot of my friends I made in high school were people I met on the basketball court, I used to play basketball, these guys came up showed up and we became friends, right? So we make friends based on mutual interests. So before you turn tours a lot and you leave your life of sin, maybe you used to hang out with these people that did things that aren't exactly pleasing to Allah, but you became close to them. I know you're praying. But all of a sudden, you heard a football or two, or you came into contact with knowledge that affected your heart, and you want to change the way you learn. You don't want to spend your time doing those kinds of things

00:06:07--> 00:06:37

anymore, but your friends haven't changed. So whenever they want to go hang out, or they want to go play pool at this bar. Many of you, they call you, for those of you that are younger, your friends want to email you something that they don't want your parents to know about. Right? Or they want you to create a profile on Facebook that's kind of secretive, or whatever it may be, right? This, whatever it may be, that invites you to say, you know what, I used to be into that stuff. I don't I don't want it anymore. And when you say I don't want it anymore, they're gonna probably poke fun at you. what's

00:06:38--> 00:06:55

what's the you all of a sudden, you're so righteous, you're the shape now, you know, come on, I know you used to be. I mean, last two weeks, two months ago, remember, for God's sake, now you're gonna act all holy, you know, so they're gonna come after you. And this is what the person says, I used to remember, you used to poke at me, he used to say.

00:06:56--> 00:07:11

And then when I used to say, you know, I'm afraid of hellfire. Now, I don't want to deal with it. I don't want to do this stuff. The only reason is, I don't want to stand in front of a lot of the Day of Judgment. I don't want to be answering for all of these things. All these moments I spent in questionable environments, all of the things I

00:07:12--> 00:07:24

was going to ask me for everything, I look at the animal hyenas and he says, He knows even what you steal with your eyes, you look at something inappropriate, and you don't think anybody else realized that you were scaring a lot.

00:07:25--> 00:07:27

He knows that. He knows the stealing of the eyes.

00:07:29--> 00:07:46

And whatever else the chests are hiding, he knows that stuff. So this believing friend says to this guy who's not so serious about their religion, he says, No, you know what, I'm scared of standing in front of them. I don't want to be answerable. So that's why I'm not doing. I'm just, I can't do it. Right. So this person turns around and says, Come on.

00:07:50--> 00:08:23

Come on, get real. Well, we're gonna be we're gonna die. Our graves are gonna get you know, our bodies are gonna be eaten by worms and all kinds of insects and we're gonna decay. How are we going to come back to life? And Alan's gonna questions come on yet, we'll, we're gonna have all this judgment in front of us, there's gonna be a whole record, all of our thing, all of our actions are on a some kind of video archive that's going to be played in front of us. And all of this data is going to come on, he's getting real, it's not gonna happen. Just relax, man, chill out, let's just go. Right. That's what he used to say to me. And I didn't used to listen to him. Now. Now this, this

00:08:23--> 00:08:34

person is younger. He's with his new friends that are of course now in Gemini and now they really get to party. Right? So he says to them, hey, you want to see him? You want to see my old friend?

00:08:36--> 00:08:41

You wanna? You want to see what he's like, when and how he's doing nowadays? So guess what they say? Yeah.

00:08:42--> 00:08:44

So now the next thing that happens is

00:08:47--> 00:09:27

then He manifested meaning they get to go, you can almost say like the fence of paradise. And they look over and what's underneath because of the bomb, Hellfire, and there's a guy burning, he's so I injure him in the worst part of the blazing fire. This guy's being burned and tortured. So these used to be close buddies, right? They were hanging out together and they wanted to do everything together. And they were they were tight, basically. Right? And now one of them is looking from Paradise into the Hellfire and he sees his body from all times. Right and then he looks at him and he says call the lie in the man I swear by Allah and don't lie he is not the same as one body if you

00:09:27--> 00:09:59

have Arab friends they like seeing one body right? But this is the light the light when you're really shocked when you're really scared and terrified or anger some emotion has overwhelmed you then you don't say what law he you say come law he said okay, that's a rare usage in Arabic. So he says the law he basically says swear my alarm and oh my god. You know this this expression you have Oh my God. He sees this guy. What does he say in get an attorney? It's all you almost made me trip. You almost took me with you.

00:10:00--> 00:10:23

You know that the word that's used in Arabic here, it's used when you make somebody else you push somebody else off a cliff, or you push somebody else into a ditch. If somebody was standing in a risky place, and they were they would have been okay by themselves, but somebody else comes in, puts them off balance so they fall with the intention of destroying them. So the guy agenda says, Man, I almost listened to you.

00:10:24--> 00:10:29

almost same guy didn't get in look at where you are in

00:10:31--> 00:10:44

our lives such a huge huge thing. What how a friend can out of just being nice to you can destroy, to utterly destroy you. And then he he realizes the favor that a minor said to him, so he says Lola,

00:10:46--> 00:10:47

nearby Toby.

00:10:48--> 00:10:56

Had it not been for the favor of my Lord. That favor was what what was the favorite? Can you think of what everything I've said so far? was a favor of alone this

00:11:00--> 00:11:03

within the context of what I said something specific.

00:11:08--> 00:11:09

Something about a friend

00:11:13--> 00:11:42

or friends or something? What is the favorite of a lot this person? What is he so grateful for? What they don't like? Give him the power to say to his friend? No, no one cares, man, no, stop, you go, whatever. I don't even think you should go. But if you're gonna go at least I'm not coming with you. Allah gave me that strength. That is the favor of a lot of this person that saved him from Hellfire, that he gets to party in July and talk about that fading memory of that loser friend. That's burning in Hellfire now. So he says

00:11:45--> 00:11:54

he had a knockin for that favor, I would have been from those who have been who are being presented as an example today. You know, you the people agenda, say, Man, look at that.

00:11:55--> 00:12:00

And I would have been one of those people that people pointed and say, Oh, my God, have we been saved? You know?

00:12:02--> 00:12:04

So in this context,

00:12:05--> 00:12:11

you know, this this person, the woman in Paradise is looking at the guy in Hellfire, he says,

00:12:14--> 00:12:59

isn't it the case that we all got to die eventually. And then it happened, and except in all of us, we only died once. In that moment. We only got to die once that one death that we experienced in this life. And that's it. After that we have eternal life, we got to enjoy eternal life. Allah says at the end in total longing, no doubt this. This, in fact, is the ultimate success. The ultimate success in this passage is to escape the temptations of a bad friend, escape the constant bickering of a friend who wants to pull you into evil deeds, right now by describing that as enormous success because that leads the person that might be the person to paradise. Now you may be a colleague, or

00:12:59--> 00:13:37

you might have, you might be a bad influence yourself. And you might be someone who is influenced by someone far worse than me. Right? So the reason I'm sharing this with you, is to do a little bit of passive I think about your own life, and what kind of what kind of role do you play among your friends? Are you the person who's always using foul language to get attention? And when those don't talk like, Oh, well, what? Doesn't matter? Right? Is that you? Are you the person that's that puts into other people's hearts that it's okay to use filthy language because the loss has been so bad. And even the mention of terrible things is corruption. You know, even the mention of corrupt things

00:13:37--> 00:14:07

is terrible after you have faith. So it's a sign of no faith that a person uses foul language, are you the person that looks at things that are that are highly inappropriate, disgusting on the web? and cause others to look at them too? Are you from those people? Or are you of those who call you to those things? And you get tempted by them? Are you from those people? So you know, this is this is the theory. Now, there's another kind of claim this, the thing I talk to you about was the close friend, right. But there's another thing that's spoken about in the Koran, and we're gonna talk about that now. Woman Yahshua, and

00:14:12--> 00:14:45

whoever walks away from the mention of the Most Merciful, whoever walks away from remembering a lot, they are too busy indulging themselves in a life of entertainment, and a life of pleasure, whatever it may be, they walk away from their limits of meaning. So they're, even when they make Salah like he just makes a lot less than a half hour ago, even when they made slides just standing there listening to the sounds passed by your ears, they're not really remembering. And just kind of waiting when this is over, because I gotta eat something. Right? They're not really praying. They're only standing in line because the elder says stand in line straight and there's no

00:14:46--> 00:14:59

there's no other motivation to be in prayer, except that the elders have forced you or might as well because everybody else is doing it. Somebody might yell at me if I'm outside or something. They've walked away from the remembrance of Allah. You see, nobody can make you remember a lot. Even if you're praying

00:15:00--> 00:15:38

On the outside, where does remembrance have a lot take place? On the inside, nobody can see that for you. So you can fool everybody else you can fool your mother and your father and your the mom or whoever, me whoever else thinking you pray you remember the luck, but Allah knows if you remembered him or not. He can't fool him. He can't get past him. So lesson is the one who walks away from the remembrance of exceedingly merciful. The punishment in this world is a lot of signs and imprisons a Kareem, for him a shape on who's a party for him. Now, what's actually a friend who is always there is always there. Right? So the moment you have a you have a moment of silence, you have a moment of

00:15:38--> 00:16:04

solitude, you're alone, by yourself for not two minutes go by that an evil thought crosses your mind. What is that the case of that's the case of someone inflicted with a clean, a clean has invaded their life. So they can spend two minutes by themselves without falling into evil. You know, some of the scholars that will tell you describe a person who is so sinful The only time they're not sinning is when they're sleeping. And even then they misaligned.

00:16:05--> 00:16:28

Right, so this is a person who's putting his head on, really literally agenda can't even see they think it's their own thoughts. But it's that thing that's been assigned to them, because they walked away from the remembrance of Allah, may Allah protect us from that kind of thing. So here's that terrible kind of friend, okay. Mostly, the word studying is used in bad connotations and move on. The second kind of friend I want to talk to you about is

00:16:29--> 00:17:04

how to listen, I know these are hard words, you may not remember them, but at least remember the lessons behind them. And chocolate alone is the kind of friend who shows you who wants to see you and himself have a good time. They show you that you're loyal to you, until the time comes when you actually need them or rely on them. Then they show their true colors. They weren't there for you. They had an ulterior motive, right, you thought that they were a sincere frame, you thought that they were actually there for you, but they weren't there for you. They were for something else. So they were basically kind of using you. Okay, you were being used by someone, I'm sure you've had

00:17:04--> 00:17:05

experiences or you've been

00:17:07--> 00:17:16

for someone. Okay, so a friend that is only there to use you. And the one the ultimate that's mentioned in the Quran, Allah soldier says what kind of shape is

00:17:18--> 00:17:35

that the shape has been has always been a fiduciary human being, meaning this time comes in, presents him his message in a very friendly way. He doesn't come to you and say, by the way, Iron Chef on Follow me, he doesn't do that. Because anybody who would know recognize him for shaitan will say

00:17:37--> 00:18:14

we wouldn't be interested in following Shabbat. Except nowadays in high schools, there is a big thing with devil worshipping cults. But the goth culture is getting really big into that stuff right now. Right? So even that's coming to manifest and humanity is so utterly blind, that they've lost their even their animal instincts to walk away from danger, they actually want to worship shaman. But I'm talking about the average normal people that have lost their humanity and fallen into goth culture. Right? Right, or devil worship lyrics, you know, into music and stuff like that. But I'm talking about normal people, what happens to you, Shabbat comes and offers you immediate pleasure.

00:18:14--> 00:18:47

That's the bottom line, when you're young, you want things to happen for you right away, you're impatient. I was too long session. Right. So if you're, if you're playing sports, and the other team scored, a couple of points in the ball hasn't been passed to you a couple of times, you get impatient on the court, come on, man, you're standing here. You know, that's what happens to you, you get impatient, you're driving your car with friends, some guy passes you buy or the red light is to come on, for God's sake, you want to take revenge, because you know, your tribal honor has been challenged by that kind of crossing, you integrate. So you need to overcome him now, we become

00:18:47--> 00:18:58

impatient. So when we become impatient, we can stand in lines too long. We can't, you know, we can't wait for our parent, your mom says, I want to talk to you about something. I want to give you some advice about preparing for your exams.

00:19:00--> 00:19:36

And he's done. She's gonna give me a whole, probably four minutes and 37 seconds speech? And how am I going to you know, you're impatient. And Siobhan comes and says, Look, if whatever I have to offer you, you don't have to wait. And we'll come right away. two clicks away, man, two clicks away. You just turned to that channel. Just a little phone call just a little text. It's right away the immediate pleasure. So I thought offers and you would think this is in my best interest. When you're at that age, and you're hot blooded. And your temptations are running while you figured this is in your best interest. Right. But you know what, right now, it seems like it's in your best interest

00:19:36--> 00:19:52

and nobody understands you because you know, they're all you know, my parents don't understand. You ever heard that before? And your friends tell you that probably right? My dad or my mom, just you know, he said a funny accent. She doesn't I can't really talk to her about Twitter, because she thinks there's something wrong with it.

00:19:56--> 00:19:56

So don't

00:19:58--> 00:20:00

don't try explaining it to them.

00:20:01--> 00:20:17

Okay, so now that you know what happens is shaitan comes in, he offers you immediate incentive, immediate fulfillment of your conditions. But you know what that is the best means for you to be destroyed, the time where you will preserve or lose your humanity is that

00:20:19--> 00:20:54

you will lose your humanity, if you limit your ambition I'm not talking about, I'm talking about your ability to be a decent human being, you will lose that the people that fall into their competition have no respect for themselves, nor for other human beings. And I'll be flat out with you, I you know, it's high time that we talk about some of these things in public in a platform that you can be honest about are you have a very serious problem, you have multiple serious problems, most of which, if our elders even knew about even a little bit, they would probably pass over. Okay, they would have heart attacks, or high blood pressure problems, because those even said the words

00:20:54--> 00:21:28

that your children have words in their vocabulary that you don't even know exist. And if you knew they existed, and what they meant, then you would probably be going to make a lot because you heard those words, and you need to compensate, sacrifice a few camels or something, right, because you have no idea the world they live in, you know, and I and I don't claim to know, because I went to high school in the good old days in the 90s. And those were pretty bad, but they were the good old days compared to what is there. But it's really bad now and I you know, I know some of the stuff and even then my ears start getting recognized. And man, I'm gonna have teenage girls are gonna be

00:21:28--> 00:22:06

teenagers. What am I gonna do? You know? So Now, having said all of that, you know, yes, the problems are different, your parents will understand. But the fact that shikon is calling you to them hasn't changed. He was making people he was deceiving young people 1000s of years ago, and he's deceiving young people. Now, yes, the temptations are different. The technology is different, the access is different, but the game is the same. He wants you he wants to land you and Hellfire he wants to have you lose your decency. That's all it is. That's all the game is. So now I'll shape on will prove to be a Hulu to you. probably already in this life, you will fall into these traps, and

00:22:06--> 00:22:37

then you say never again and then fall again. And then say never again and then fall again. But really, you'll realize he's collude. When we see him. You know, on the day of judgment, when the people who follow Him you will not make us from them. They will be cursing him and saying, Man, we should beat this guy up. He's the one who taught me and all this stuff. They'll say You know what? Let's just burn down. Okay, we're all here together. Can't do anything about it. Now, if you really had a case, you wouldn't have been here. So let's just relax. Okay, let's just enjoy the flames. So that's, you know, basically in a nutshell, that's the dialogue that occurs. What are you writing

00:22:37--> 00:22:47

about now, when you had a chance to walk away you so don't blame me? Right? Don't blame the salesman. You signed the contract and you bought the car. You can't blame the salesman? You shouldn't.

00:22:48--> 00:22:57

So this is, this is the second kind of what was the first kind of Pentagon I forgot. Honey, thanks. Okay. So here's the third kind of now we have better friends. And

00:22:58--> 00:23:13

the first good friend is lucky. Lucky. Rafi comes in Arabic from the word near the top right, is literally a pillow, something you recline on or you relax on, when you're exhausted. Heath is the kind of friend you can count on

00:23:14--> 00:23:29

is the kind of friend you can turn to when you are in the hour of need. The Rockies is the kind of thing whose advice is going to benefit it is going to be a source of actual comfort for you not deceiving comfort, but actual comfort for you. So who is your lucky ally? So

00:23:30--> 00:23:33

he gave us a very explicit definition of Who,

00:23:34--> 00:23:44

who, who is going to be lucky for you that kind of thing. Unless woman you know, however soon and whoever was to obey alive the messengers have a lot of audience in them.

00:23:46--> 00:23:46


00:23:47--> 00:24:26

then those are from those who have law. They are they belong to the group that Allah showered his papers upon me and they've been posted the theme for Shahada was solid came from the prophets, Allah Sato Salaam, passivity. We'll talk about who these people are. For now we'll just say the relentless conformers of truth was Shahada, and those who bear witness was solid clean and the righteous were hustler, eco raffia and how awesome these people are. Those are as far as being a pedophile. So who are your reliable friends? Who are your reliable friends? In other words, the Prophet sallahu wa salatu salam o they passed away

00:24:27--> 00:24:29

with the exception of one one died.

00:24:31--> 00:24:59

Okay, good. So we're clear on that. And the second a CDP those who relentlessly confirm the truth and very even around today, okay, those who confirm the truth, then of Shahada, those who bear witness and this means those who bear witness with their speech to the truth, those who bear witness with their character to the truth. These are people that live Islam and not are not afraid to show it they live this them and the ultimate of those are the martyrs but there's not limited to them, and assign him the righteous people, people that do good things.

00:25:00--> 00:25:39

These are the people that you can depend on. Now you have friends that are messed up. You've got these friends bender messed up, roll up some really bad things. I can't even tell you that you won't even understand. Yes, I know. You have. Congratulations, if I had a cookie idea. Okay. Now the thing is, the thing to boast about isn't how best of friends you have. Well, where are you good friends? You know, the measure of friendship is is this person better than you character? Or worse? Is my company around them making me a better person or a worse person? That's a good measure of whether you're whether or not you should be friends with these people. If you're making your language words,

00:25:39--> 00:25:47

your respect for elders words, the way you spend your time is getting worse, then they're probably not good friends, they're probably not roughly what are they?

00:25:48--> 00:25:50

They're probably cutting or even further.

00:25:52--> 00:26:11

So you need to kind of gauge you Who are the people around me that are doing better deeds than I am, that live this love that live, you know, they actually live a life, you know, not giving into temptation, they live for a higher purpose. And you know what, one of the things that I should share with you is those kinds of friends, you shouldn't be limiting yourself as far as

00:26:12--> 00:26:32

some of my best friends when I was 1819, some of my best friends were 7273 older people. Why? Because they're wise man, they're wise. They'll give you advice that no other friend your age will be able to give you he'll talk to your friends your age about your problems. They'll say, Yeah, I understand. They don't understand squat.

00:26:34--> 00:27:08

You understand what they're going through? Are they gonna help you understand what you speak to older people, you speak to people of wisdom, and they'll actually give you valuable advice you can recline on the moments you can lean on them for for wisdom, right? So it's not asking you to go out and make friends with videos. But what I am asking is don't limit yourself, Well, this person is just, you know, how can this uncle the my friend? or How can my grandmother, you know, no, the elders have incredible wisdom to offer and their friendship, one of the things that it does for younger people is it gets to maturity, when you hang around people your age too much. And you don't

00:27:09--> 00:27:47

spend any time with people that are older than you. And what happens is you become very mature, you become very, very immature this ends up happening. So even for the older kids here, you're not really kids if you're 1819. But if you only handle 18 material, you're gonna act like 14 year olds, you're not gonna act your age. But when you you spend time with people that are older, you that kind of rubs off on you and you become a little bit more mature. So one of the things you can do is, you know, try to spend time with a company that is a little bit older than the other thing that's a disruption in our society is this idea owner just can't do that. Because he's trying to soften up or

00:27:50--> 00:28:10

she's been called it must be important. Anyway. So here's the thing, the kinds of you know, the the notion that teenagers are just kids, or they're just, they're just having a good time. Right? You know, we act according to what we believe we are in Islam. As soon as you hit puberty, you're an adult.

00:28:11--> 00:28:19

You're an adult, you're not treated any different. Oh, come on. He's just 14. Yeah, he committed triple homicide, but he's just 40 No, no, no, he's

00:28:21--> 00:28:55

just like any other woman. He's an adult, he'll be tried like an adult. That's the law, that's a song. In other words, when you turn a certain age, there are certain adult expectations from you. If prayer is binding upon you, as an adult, it is binding upon you, when you're a certain age and you hit puberty. That's it, you have to play, you have to be responsible, you can't goof around, and you can't do certain things that you could have done when you were a kid. Right? So you doesn't matter what the society thinks of you, as the society may say, even when you're 22 hours a day, just kidding, they're having fun on campus, right? They're just you know, they're partying, but come on,

00:28:55--> 00:29:24

when are you gonna live it up? You know, so you kids, you have such a great time, etc, etc. But if you if you want to know what a lot of you or the messenger standards for you are, what is been standardized us, you're an adult, the moment you hit puberty, so you're responsible, so long behind that shelter, don't hide behind their children on the Day of Judgment before a law saying, oh, law, I was 19 but I was just a kid. Not gonna fly. That's not gonna fly at all. By the way, he's really cute. So you want to be distracted? That's a fairly strange.

00:29:27--> 00:29:38

Okay, so we got a few kinds of friends so far. I'm going to give you a whole list of different kinds of friends and the benefits of knowing these different kinds of friends. The next type of friend is already a wedding. Okay, the Arabic word when he

00:29:40--> 00:29:40


00:29:42--> 00:29:43

who was who?

00:29:49--> 00:29:59

When he is a specifically a protective friend, a friend who is there, not just as a friend, but they're actually there to watch your back. Okay.

00:30:00--> 00:30:12

They've got you when you're in trouble, okay, and they're there to protect you. So, you know, you would you would have their company, especially when you know there's a danger on, right? Who are these people that you can rely on unless as your first what is

00:30:14--> 00:30:15

your first protective friend is

00:30:16--> 00:30:19

your second protective friend is is messengers

00:30:20--> 00:30:49

in our you know, blah, blah, blah, is messenger. And what that means for us today is holding on to his legacy holding on to so that is a means of protecting us. It is a means of protection, I can tell you, for a young man, to grow a beard is a big challenge, right? Because you feel like you look so pretty without it. And you stare at yourself in the mirror 45 minutes before you come out. But then if your fears coming out, all scruffy kind of goes here but doesn't grow here. And so we're looking to say what am I going

00:30:50--> 00:31:04

to do? You know, it protects you from so many different kinds of problems. It protects you from someone that would have been you would have been afflicted with just by holding on to the messenger. So it's a means of protection, the son of the messenger, to walk with

00:31:05--> 00:31:07

the son of the messenger say something more is

00:31:09--> 00:31:15

around when he walked the walk at this angle. So when the eyes don't meet, there's no future problem. There's no, there's no that.

00:31:17--> 00:31:18

You know.

00:31:21--> 00:31:25

So they're even the soul of the messenger is a means of protection from,

00:31:26--> 00:31:42

like, give us knowledge of the Sunnah and commitment to the sermon that he says once every now and of course your wedding is extended not just to align His Messenger, but also to those who believe all Muslims, but it's not all Muslims, a lot of qualification here, if Allah had just said,

00:31:43--> 00:31:45

Those who believe anybody Muslim,

00:31:46--> 00:31:51

who will be the one that will you can actually turn to for counsel and protection. Who are these people

00:31:56--> 00:32:22

that they give, they make the salon they establish the salon, so the regular indicators of your Muslim friends who earn the status of money, if you have friends that know pray regularly will know what do you think is up for them they can, there has to be someone who actually prays regularly purifies their wealth for the younger people, you don't have wealth issues yet. But when you started earning income that they basically what this implies is they will abide by Divine Law, they abide by the sacred law. And then

00:32:23--> 00:33:04

they remain in the state of the poor, even though he already mentioned some already. What this implies is that they are humbled that they are in a state of record record implies also humility. So you will be people that are humbled before almost a lot of times, and this is something I've noticed, back in the times in the 1800s, when I was in high school, it may or may not be still true. So let me let me run it by you see if it's true or not. In the time when I was in high school, one of the most glorified things, one of the things that was most looked up to was how, how well, you can boost your own ego, how you know, you can kind of walk you have, and the kind of clothes you

00:33:04--> 00:33:37

wear, and the kind of obscene language you use and how loud you can be and how monotonous you can be and how well you can insult someone else. All of this would go together to figure in the calculation of how popular you are and how much you should be looked up to me one of the things how arrogant you are, how obnoxious you are, how insulting and disrespectful you are to teachers and elders, how obscene Li you speak? How much disregard you have for appropriateness, right? These are the things that will make you popular, these are the things that Oh, man, this guy is so much that I want to be just like that.

00:33:40--> 00:33:50

So basically, the more you act like shape on, right, the more of a role model you are. And on the other hand, you have a lot of standards. So

00:33:51--> 00:33:54

the first thing he asked him is believers is humility.

00:33:55--> 00:34:12

On the one hand, you have arrogance being glorified. And on the other hand, you have what the glorified humility, right. And so the the teenager sees this for a week for five days in school, they see arrogance being glorified, and then they cut school and they come to

00:34:13--> 00:34:16

me here, humility being glorified. How many times

00:34:17--> 00:34:24

once by some guy, they probably found halfway asleep anywhere in the hopper, and they came out and

00:34:26--> 00:34:27

say something was wrong or something.

00:34:31--> 00:34:38

You know, so what do you think they're gonna stop? What's going to start affecting you a lifestyle of humility or lifestyle?

00:34:40--> 00:34:54

Because you're spending so much time in in an environment that glorifies arrogance. It's going to start becoming a part of you. And how do you know it's becoming a part of you, your parents say, did you do your homework? Come on, mom. We've been through this.

00:34:56--> 00:34:56

There's a call for you.

00:34:59--> 00:34:59

Come down for dinner.

00:35:03--> 00:35:22

This, if that's if that's your normal reaction, then you have a serious problem. You have a problem bigger than the guy who sells liquor from the liquor store, you know, he sells come right on. But you know, a bigger crime in the eyes of Allah is arrogance, arrogance that lies in the heart, the messenger told us,

00:35:24--> 00:36:01

whoever even has the amount, a little like a seeds worth of arrogance in their heart will never see paradise, it will never see parents. So you think those people are doing wrong, you are far worse if you have a seat of arrogance. And while I'm on the topic, I see some of you here that seem like they're more committed to the religion than others. Let me give you a little bit of advice in childhood that applies to myself too. When you see other youth that are not as religious, and in the back of your mind, you think somehow you are better than they are, or somehow more fees with you than he is with him, then realize that that is a form of arrogance. And you nobody will see it

00:36:01--> 00:36:36

you're making somehow you're attending the Holocaust and your dress and your appearance is not alone, righteous person, anybody will see you on the other side of the street. They say this guy is good. That guy pretty bad, right? But all I know is that there is a sea of arrogance inside. So watch out for it. Nobody can point that out to you unless you do introspection of yourself. So this is what moving along quickly, by just a few more kinds of friends. Celine. Celine is actually the most sincere, the most truthful, the friend who will tell you the truth, whether you want to hear it or not, you know, they will tell they will know what's best, what is in your best interest and they

00:36:36--> 00:37:07

won't shy away and seeing you know, sometimes your friends will tell you the right thing, because they think their feelings might get hurt. Or you might do you might take it the wrong way or something, I certainly wouldn't do that. So they will tell you like, Look, I love you for the sake of a lot. That's my stop, you gotta stop. You can't do that. This is a Sunday, we pray we have a severe in our life, right? a sincere friend who can look at our flaws and say, you know what that needs to change. If you don't change that you're gonna have some serious problems, the way you talk to your mother, you probably shouldn't do that. Like you're talking to your friend and your dad

00:37:07--> 00:37:31

calling you to kind of roll your eyes at your dad, or you sit down, okay, I'm on the phone, whatever. Right? And your friend who's asleep says No, you know what, I'll talk to you later. You need to listen to your dad. That's far more important. But that would be a Sunday. So we pray that Allah grants us that kind of sleep. And you know, the sincerity of use of Planning Center, he was thrown in prison, you know that right? He was thrown in prison. So obviously all around him or what kind of people

00:37:33--> 00:37:51

convicts, right? There are all kinds, you know, criminals for all kinds of crimes, right? So they're the worst kinds of people in society that he's stuck with for many, many years. And you know what that kind of environment even his character would show so that when they came in and even they will say,

00:37:52--> 00:38:06

they will say no sincere one, the one who has never shied away from telling the truth, which tells us even in the prison, when somebody did something wrong, he would say that sounds right. regardless of the consequences, he will stand up for the truth and instead of

00:38:07--> 00:38:47

the last couple left inshallah, there is a honey, honey. Honey is a very close friend, along for whom you feel in your heart. When you it's like a brother or a sister or sibling. All right, that deeply connected, love you feel for them. Anything that comes to them hurts you, any joy that comes to you, to them gives you joy, this is a funny, and this is a relationship that is so honored in the Quran, Allah says, Allah, Allah, Allah, Ibrahim alayhi salam, as a hobby as an Indian as a close, close friend. This is this illustrates the closest Salam hideway, Allah subhanaw taala. And this is really important because

00:38:48--> 00:39:13

many, many, many times he was all by himself, all by himself. So the only friend he had a last problem is being thrown into the fire and nobody on his side allies on his side. He's in the middle of the desert, nobody on this side of last panel without his on his side, right. So he took he found that that cooler with allies. Allah says on the Day of Judgment, now we will see what happened.

00:39:14--> 00:39:42

He says on the Day of Judgment, there's not going to be any exchanges and E trade. Nor is there going to be any intimate friendship. The closest friend you had before you came on the Day of Judgment, the closest friend you had will be walking away from you like I don't want anything to do with this guy. That's what's gonna end up happening on the Day of Resurrection. So realize the kinds of things we live in where we have our full moon we have the full suspension. Last bit and Sharma turbulator. Fuller is the friend Honey.

00:39:43--> 00:39:59

Honey. Honey is someone who may or may not be close to you, but at least acts like they are. They act very close to English. They express their closeness to you in their action. They're very kind to you. They're very generous to you. They're always getting what you want them to be. So this is what I mean is on in the heart.

00:40:00--> 00:40:22

Honey bees manifest it's on the outside you can see their friendship manifest. Love describes the Day of Judgment. When is a no honeymoon, Amina? These friends that used to go all out for each other. They were always there for each other, they are not going to be even asking about one another. They're not even going to ask forget concern. They're not even going to ask about what what is.

00:40:24--> 00:40:42

Even if they're staring at each other or they're being stared at even then they won't even ask about each other. So understand the reality of resurrection. When a Muslim believes in resurrection, they believe in something very powerful. The one of the most powerful elements of resurrection that I want to remind you of that has to do with this talk. Allah says what are the

00:40:43--> 00:40:49

relationships on that day will be chopped off? relationships will mean nothing on the day of

00:40:50--> 00:41:19

all the relationships you have. Now, a lot of times you do wrong things, because your friends are doing their like I know graduations coming up soon. So the problems coming up soon, right? All my friends are going slow, you're crying your heart out. And your parents are saying no, this is Oh, come on, everything's wrong, I can do anything. You know, this is just, you know, you guys just say everything around you don't let me have any fun. Or is it? So how can my other Muslim friends are going?

00:41:20--> 00:41:29

Right? Because that happens too. Right? So So when that happens, you right now you think you're going and your reputation is going to be ruined. Nobody cares when you go to college, by the way.

00:41:31--> 00:41:42

So please, start. There are far bigger problems. There are people that haven't had food to eat for a week and you're crying over the property, or you're fighting over some party you can go to get over yours.

00:41:43--> 00:41:47

You know, Allah has blessed this a lot. And the Muslims especially.

00:41:49--> 00:42:23

You know, Allah has blessed this Omar, and the Muslims, especially, you know, in this part of the world was so much wealth, and so much luxury, that we have forgotten what it is to have papers from above. And here we have our youth whining about things that if the people the people in some parts of the Muslim world, they only dream about those things. And we're complaining about them. Oh, man, only one kind of soda in the fridge. You know, there are kids in the Muslim world that haven't had water for two weeks, you know, give the drinking out of money literally. And here we are, we become so ungrateful. And this is again, when you become distant. The one who doesn't remember the merciful

00:42:23--> 00:42:49

The one who doesn't remember a lot doesn't remember they're facing the world. They become full of themselves. And that's where you get all of these problems. When you're not winning don't remember who you are, you're serving them a lot. And allies are provider is the provider of all their lives those eliminate hunger from the world. Anyhow. So coming to a close because saliva approach is also another kind of friend that is mentioned in college when he jack, the actual Okay, well, I'm

00:42:50--> 00:43:26

assuming he will be Nina, what do you this, this actually is a kind of friend who you trust so much, that you're actually involved in your private matters. They help you out maybe in a business transaction, or loaning you money or things like that, or you got into a dispute and they're helping you manage that dispute or something like that, right? This is the kind of friend that's what he This is only supposed to be a Muslim. You can be casually friends with a non Muslim, that's fine. You can say Hi, how's it going? Whatever. Can I borrow a pencil or something at school, but the people that are involved in your personal life shouldn't be anything other than believers, true

00:43:26--> 00:43:26


00:43:29--> 00:43:35

Which implies the strongest of believers. These are the people you should trust your affairs. Lastly, yeah, you

00:43:39--> 00:43:40

last night.

00:43:41--> 00:43:50

Those of you who believe here this morning carefully, Allah says don't take secret keeping friends outside of yourself. What does it mean outside of yourself?

00:43:52--> 00:43:52

What do you think?

00:43:53--> 00:43:56

What do you think it means outside of yourself? Those of you who are still we

00:44:00--> 00:44:06

don't have friends that keep your secrets outside of animals, like Luna.

00:44:07--> 00:44:27

Like when Kabbalah went to Monaco, they will leave no stone unturned in causing you harm. And they really do want for all harming non Muslims will give you what kind of advice non Muslim kind of advice or some kind of advice will benefit you or harm you. It will only harm you, you think it will benefit you it will only harm

00:44:29--> 00:44:37

you know the one that will harm you. They don't even know what will harm them. They're so big and that's why they're not Muslim. If they knew what was good for them, they will be understand

00:44:39--> 00:44:50

me, you know our time will come when this believers are gonna wish that they had been Muslims. Have they only known now that you know it has it? Have you only known

00:44:51--> 00:45:00

if you only heard and understood, then these are the kinds of complaints the disbelievers will make. So these were a few things about different kinds of friends that are mentioned in our

00:45:00--> 00:45:08

Sacred literature. The bottom line though, the thing that runs through this entire talk, the thread that connects it all was the first piece that I mentioned to you, I love

00:45:12--> 00:45:14

a person depends on the religion of

00:45:16--> 00:45:17

the friend, watch.

00:45:19--> 00:45:44

The parents here, watch out for your kids or friends, make sure that you make them friends with people that are better role models for them, rather than opening doors to sense for them. If you want your parents that your kids to not have problems anymore, no, you can't take them to any mom who will recite something over them and, and their problems will disappear. That's not gonna happen. Right? There's not a speech they're gonna listen to that will change their character that might affect them a little bit, what will really affect them in the long run.

00:45:47--> 00:46:17

And the young people here, take this advice seriously, you know, I can't, I can't make you do anything, I can't make you change your friends, I can't you make you change your profile on Facebook and the 500 people that are already, you know, connected with you or whatever, these friends, these strangers that you call friends, they're not your friends, they're not gonna care about you. Right, the people who care about you, I hopefully I tried to outline in a long time. The last thing I'll share I know I said, these are all the kinds of friends but there's one that I didn't mention on purpose, because that was kind of I don't know if it's appropriate or not, but maybe I should

00:46:17--> 00:46:17


00:46:19--> 00:46:19

also speaks about

00:46:21--> 00:46:26

friends that you are attracted to. Nowadays, we call it boyfriend or girlfriend. Unless

00:46:27--> 00:47:08

Unless there's when you're looking to get married. It's not just that you're looking to find them. It's not just some, you know, shallow infatuation. Marriage is far more to us than it will ever be to the marriage to the Muslim is far far more than is not something shallow, like Oh, she's cute, I want to marry you know, it's far more responsible. So don't be given don't give in to these lowly standards is at lower than animal standards that have been set for you by pathetic media that you are hypnotized by by watching it every single day. Like you know, a bunch of animals that haven't been given given their food to eat at the farm, but they start whining, you start wondering what the

00:47:08--> 00:47:45

next episode is gonna hear. Because you're so addicted, right? If that's how pathetic you become, and you're losing your humanity, serious, lose your addictions, lose your addiction to entertainment, lose your addictions, any of these kinds of things. And if you have if you've gotten to become part of a relationship, and this is a reality of the Muslim youth, if there's some girl you've been texting or talking to, or getting together with or some boy, if that's happening, nobody knows. I'm not saying I know. But if that's happening, walk away. walk away from it. Save yourself. No, no, you think nobody's watching a lice watching. Allah knows you think you're out of trouble

00:47:45--> 00:47:59

because your parents don't no one knows. And that's far more trouble believing that if you have an ounce of belief, like I can walk away from the situation. Just Just what you have to say. By the way, I heard this speech. I'm walking away, you know, just walk away.