What to teach our children

Nadim Bashir

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Channel: Nadim Bashir

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The importance of parenting children in learning to handle challenges and develop one's own values is emphasized. The Sh litualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualualual

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But the mother is the one who's cooking the food. The mother is the one who's dropping them off at school, picking them up from school, dropping them off the Quran classes, the evening, picking them up from Quran classes in the evening, washing the, you know, cleaning the house, doing the laundry and caring for them when they get sick and so forth. You ask a child who shows you more love in many cases, they will say the mother shows more love. It doesn't mean they don't love their father. But they have a very different understanding of what love is. This is why it is very important that as fathers, we spend quality time with our children so that we and we help them understand that we're

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always there for them. And we love them also equally as the as much as their mother loves them. So this is what we see from the story of a man that he sits down and he advises his son, and he talks to him in a very gentle way. There are three things that we need to really stress upon. Number one is self discipline. One of the things that is a Tod regarding self discipline are two things. One is perseverance. And number two is self critique. If these are two things that each one of us have, number one is perseverance. being steadfast upon our deen our we are going to be challenged. Our children are going to be challenged when they go to school, and they are challenged in different

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ways. Parents, please do understand when you went to school, and the challenges that you face, our kids are facing different challenges. There are not just facing challenges in terms of meeting the standards of academia that is acceptable to the parents, but they have to maintain their Deen they have to maintain their identity as a Muslim, they are going through so many challenges. But if our kids no perseverance, meaning that they have to stick to the orders of Allah subhanho wa taala. And as taught by Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam and advice for all of us. It Attila hyphema, couldn't be fearful of Allah, Be cautious of Allah wherever you go, if we can teach our kids this, I

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will lie. I can say this with conviction that we don't need to be observing and supervising our kids. If I know that my child knows perseverance. If I know that my child knows self critique, they can be anywhere around the world. And I know that they will be in they'll be doing the right thing. Because as parents today, when our kids go out for five, six hours at a time, we're always worried are they doing the right thing are doing the wrong thing. As they're growing up, if we teach them perseverance, if we teach them self critique, and if we teach them tequila and self discipline, wherever they will be, they will not be breaking the orders of Allah subhanho wa taala. The second

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thing we need to teach our kids and as parents we do the same thing to is, I like to say this this way, less focus on improving ourselves, and less stop focusing on proving ourselves. See, as human beings, we're always worried about the other person. What does this person think about me? What does this person think about me? 10 people will come and they'll give you their feedback. 10 Nine people will say, Great job, one person will say you could have done this or that. And you know what bothers us the most, that one critique that one person who says something negative about us? It bothers us And subhanAllah how many of our children they are on social media, someone says something about them

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is going to drive them crazy. They will always want to find out why did this person say something negative about me. Rather, they don't focus on the other things that people good are saying about them or anything positive that someone says to them. So they're always focused on that as a Muslim as we learn from the Sidra of Rasulullah sallallahu it was Cena as a Muslim I should be focused on coming closer to Allah subhanho wa Taala that is my ultimate goal. If I'm coming closer to Allah, and hamdulillah if Allah is in my heart Alhamdulillah if the love of the Prophet is in my heart and in my child's heart Alhamdulillah that is what matters the most. The third thing that we need to

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teach our children is especially when they go back to school, and not only that, especially our high school students, when they go back to school, they have friends in their class, they have a car, they may not have a car, they have a Beemer, they don't have a Beemer, they have some other, you know, great car, and they don't have such a great car. And what happens is that this person he feels that I don't have anything. One thing that our children would need to teach our children is the concept of Shakur, the concept of being thankful to Allah subhanho wa Taala you know, subhanAllah in the hottie and Muslim, there is a Hadith found Narrated by Abu Huraira reverie Allah and he says in

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this rewire that there were three children, three children who spoke from the cradle, the very first one, he mentioned this to the wire. There are other wires with other children. But in this new wire that I'm referring to, the very first one he says is esigning is syndrome. The second one he mentioned was

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As drage your age, there's a long Hadith about a man by the name of Judah age. And the third one, this which I why I chose this hadith is that there was a woman was traveling, and she had a baby. And she came across a very wealthy man. And she says that I want my child to become like this man. I want my child when they grow out to become like this man, because he is you know, he has the he has materialism, people are, you know, flocking towards him, his word has a lot of weight. So I want my child to become like him. And this child spoke that Oh, Allah do not make me like this man. And then after a while, she kept on going forward. And she saw a woman who was accused of fornication and

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theft, and people were beating her. And she she said, Oh, Allah do not make my child like this woman. And this child spoke from the cradle saying that Oh, Allah make me like her. And the mother was shocked. She was, you know, she was, you know, she was thinking to herself, that when I made a dua for you to become like the man, you say, No, and now you look at this woman, and I say that you may Allah not make you and you say that, may Allah make you like her. Why? And the child spoke out and said, That man, who you said that you want me to become like him, he is a Ivana him, he is an oppressor, he is a tyrant. And these are people who are going to be punished in the hereafter.

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Whereas this woman, she's an innocent woman, she is a true slave of Allah subhanho wa taala. And the fact that she was beaten is not because she committed a crime, but it was alleged, she was being accused of it. So therefore, she is innocent, and I want to become an innocent person, what's the moral of the story, our children when they go out, and not only that, but even as adults, we have the same thing, how many times we go outside, we see a person nice car, we go to their home, beautiful home. And what's the first thing we say, I wish I was like this person, I wish I had this, you know, as much as this person had, what we don't realize is this, first of all, is whatever we

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have Alhamdulillah from Allah subhanho wa taala. If I don't, if I have a car, that takes me from point A to point B Alhamdulillah. And at the same time, when you say and what any one of us say that I want to become like this person, our children, they learn from us, they observe what we say. And what we don't realize is brothers and sisters, that each one of us, it does not matter in this dunya every person has problems, there is not a single person will law, he there is not a single person who says I don't have any problems. Every person has their own challenges in life. And they vary from person to person and family to family. And what happens is this, we don't know that person

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might be living in a huge mansion, that person might have like 10 cars sitting outside his house, but the challenges that he's going through probably you and I we don't have the ability to bear those challenges. And when you and I we say oh Allah give me his life, when we're asking is that Oh Allah, in addition to all that he has, I want the challenges also in my life. That's what we're saying to Allah subhanho wa Taala This is why it is very important that first of all, we learn how to think Allah, and then we teach our children are so that when you go back to school, remember that to be thankful to Allah do not look at what they have, and look at what you have, and Subhanallah

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our kids, they need to realize that they have the greatest gift Wallahi the greatest gift, and they have what not. In the law, there are so many people who don't believe in Allah they have let in. And whatever else they have in their life, and hamdulillah there are people who don't even have as much as they have. So when our kids go back to school, once again, we teach them self discipline. So part of self discipline are two things perseverance, and self critique. When you do something wrong, you need to feel it from your heart, that you did something wrong. Finally, I will share this regarding self critique, or even a football club where the author and a man came to him. He is a mean what we

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mean, if a man needs help, who else is gonna go to he went to all of you don't mean and instead of helping him emoticon, he lashed him. He says, When I sit down for these matters, then you don't come now I sit down for my own personal matters. And now you come and now you bring your matters to me. And then on top, you realize what wrong he did. And he sent that man he sent for that man, and he gave him the lashing. He says, Whatever I did to you do the same thing to me. And the man says, I forgive you for the sake of Allah at that time, and he could just say, You know what, okay, he's done. No, he went home. And this is what we understand by self critiquing, getting tough upon

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yourself. He made dua to Allah He was praying to Allah and crying for Allah, the who was Omar, who was on board before Islam. If Allah had not given his sample on the way would Omar be on there was somewhere else and Allah gave him Islam and look where he

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Yesterday, Allah gave him a result by making a minimum minima. And look where he yesterday and he kept on getting tough upon himself. And this part this is the understanding of soul self critique will have so that as we find in the Quran, so this is the first thing that we teach our children. The second thing that we need to teach our children is that stop focusing on proving yourself and impressing yourself to others. Because always people are going to have something to say about you. And I said this the other day to the youth also,

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as I said, there are going to be there's one thing that we have no control over. And that is what people say about us stop focusing on what they have to say. Because if we always care about what every person has to say about us than they were, then we are weak. We're absolutely weak. And our kids, they're very sensitive about these kinds of things. So what we should be focusing on is to improve ourselves. And the third thing once again, was to, to be thankful to Allah subhanho wa taala. And every single day, please stress upon these things before they go to school, when they come back from school, everyday stress upon these things. Ask Allah subhana wa to protect our youth,

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ask Allah Subhana Allah to give us the ability to maintain our faith, to be thankful to Allah subhanho wa Taala and to put into and to improve ourselves every single day. There's not gonna love hate Subhanak Allahumma Hambrick not sure they will. Enter nesto Fuuka wanted to make the second love hate sin I'm already labeled Oh Catherine.