Muhammad the Best Example #18 He SAW as a Mediator

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salam alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatu Bismillah R Rahman Rahim Al hamdu Lillahi Rabbil Alameen wa Salatu was Salam ala Rasulillah him Hamid wala li also big mine, my brother Welcome to another segment of lists within Huseynov the beautiful examples of Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. Today inshallah I want to talk about how Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam would resolve conflicts, see, conflicts are inevitable, we always are going to see conflicts, we're going to see differences of opinion, we're going to see these things in our life. Unfortunately, what people think is that there should be no conflicts. First of all, if you believe that there should be no

conflicts, then you are absolutely mistaken. And you are living in a different reality.

Conflicts are part of life is going to always happen is going to happen in the community is going to happen within our family is going to happen within our between us in our spouse, there might be even common between us in our children, conflicts are inevitable. However, while we learn from the Prophet some is how to resolve those conflicts, that is where many of us, we have no idea what to do in that kind of situation. As I like to say, the problem is not that we have problems, the problem is we don't know how to deal or solve our problems. So keeping that in mind in sha Allah, first of all, is that I want to go straight into the Quran. That what does the Quran say about actigraph? And

what are the different words that are used when it comes to conflict? There are three different words I really want to highlight today. One is if the laugh, one is G doll, and one is ship Hawk, and all two of them, they have their own different they have their own meaning, first of all, is that if they laugh means that there are two different opinions and two different parties are taking the different opinions, and SubhanAllah. For example, just to give you an idea, for example, when it comes to salad, there might be there might be different opinion when it comes to salad. When it comes to a few key manners, there's always going to be different opinions, we know that there are

four schools of thought when it comes to FIP. And so if a person follows one opinion, and another person follows another opinion, that's simply an act of love. And that's absolutely fine. And what we learn from the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam is that making sure that whenever there is an act of love, if they are truly based on the Quran, and the Sunnah, then it's important to be respectful towards one another SubhanAllah. Today, we're living in a time where today, first of all, is that we're not really open to it enough, we're not open to listening to the other person, we're not open to disagreement, even when there is a certain matter. So hello, when we find that there's a

certain matter that there are different schools of thought. And you may disagree with that school of thought. But today Subhanallah we usually go after people, we attack people, we attack people online, and we make videos after videos just attacking people at times. And so bahala we spend so much time doing this, remember, if the laugh is inevitable, if enough is there and especially if there is acted off in there based on the Quran and Sunnah. It may not be in your knowledge, that's fine. But just because it does not exist in your knowledge does not mean that it does not exist at all. Just because you don't follow an opinion does not mean that the other opinion does not exist.

So this the very first thing that we need to understand is that there is something called the love and the profiling some has taught us that when it comes to ft love how we should be respectful towards each other. The second one is G Don. Don is when you try to defend your position and it means that you are carrying on a discussion in a contentious manner to simply gain the upper hand or to simply win out an argument. And for example, Allah subhanaw taala he tells us I'll hurt you I should have Malou Matt from and follow the fee Hindle hija. For now, Rafa wala for Su o wala G Donna, Phil Hodge, this word has been used in the context of hedge. Why? Because how many times has

it happened that when it comes to hedge, there's so much bickering, there's so much argumentation that takes place. And there's so many conflicts that take place, and usually and Hajaj people become very, they lose their patience, they become very, very contentious. And that's why Allah subhanaw taala says, large data for hedge that those people they truly are performing a true hedge who do not engage in any argumentation and SubhanAllah. It's very important, especially when it comes to those kinds of situations that we don't ever engage. Because engaging, there's nothing that you will get out of engaging, especially when you might come across someone who's very impatient. You try to be

the bigger person, the better person and to simply walk away and didn't even say anything.

thing, you know, subhanAllah I've seen in homage even I myself, I've been in those kind of situations, and I've always taken the high road and that is always the best route to take. The next thing that we find also in the Quran, which is also a type of conflict is she talked, she COC is when two parties are simply going after each other in a severe and a very harsh way. And the only they're not seeking out the truth or they're not trying to reconcile. They're simply just trying to defeat their opponent. And this worship all has been used in the context of marriage, that when there are such, when there's so much going on between the husband and wife, there's so much

hostility, there's so much disrespect, or there's so much

argumentation and bit and bickering going on between the husband and wife and they simply cannot get along with each other and they're always after each other. And they're always print trying to put down each other and there's constantly conflicts taking place. Then Allah subhanaw taala says we're in the 15 shikaka Bay in HEMA that if you feel like that the husband and wife will get to that point mean that they have not gotten to that point yet. But if you feel like they will get to that that really harsh point for buy through hacker my man and he will hack government earlier that get a person from his side and get a person from her side and II URI that is la han you are for the lobby

Noma Subhan Allah What a beautiful idea this is. Allah is saying that if these people they truly get together, and their Nia is absolutely true, and she will talk about about Nia, but if they are sincere in the heart of the true Nia, you were faking level being Muhammad, Allah will give them the ability to reconcile Allah will help them to come together. So this is something that we find in the Quran and then once again we find also in the hadith of Rasulullah sallallahu Sallam the stories of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, that how he was stepped in, in matters of conflict. Did you know that there were so many stories conference between obika Ravi Allah Who and Amato the Allahu

ion conference between some of the wives of the Prophet sallallahu Sallam conference B between people of the Muslim community in general, and each one of them the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam he was stepped in, he would try to understand the situation. And he would help out and he will help resolve the issue we find helpful for loon what happened there we find the situation where the cover was reconstructed, and they did not have the economic decision as to who will place the Blackstone, how Rasulullah sallallahu wasallam came and how he was able to unite all four major tribes that time involved in the construction of the Kaaba, and to keep all their hearts united and

connected, and how he was able to resolve that conflict, in a very peace in a very amicable way. This is Subhan, Allah what we learned from the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. Now quickly, I want to I want to cover what are some of the key things that we need to pay attention to, especially when we are in a position of conflict resolution, if you and I have been asked to step in, and resolve the situation, first thing is that there are many things that we can cover. And I want to cover a few things in shallow today, you know, and these are a list of things that I've collected from the different stories of the Prophet salAllahu alayhi wasallam. So inshallah we'll just go

through them. First thing is first, and first is to make sure that you have some experience in doing something like this. If you have absolutely no experience in doing this, and you want to engage in this matter, or you've been asked to step in as a mediator as arbitrator, or someone to resolve the conflict between two people. First of all, is that have some experience Subhanallah today, in our Muslim community, every person thinks that they're Dr. Phil, okay, every person feels like they can resolve an issue in martial law, they have a master's degree in conflict resolution. And that's not the case. So first of all, is that making sure that you have I'm not saying that you have to have

immense amount of experience, but at least having some is better than having no experience at all. The second thing that we learned from the different stories of the Prophet saw some when he came to convert resolution is that you always hear both sides. Now, one thing I have to really stress upon this is that one thing that we learn from the Prophet alayhi salam is that he was a great listener. Yes, he was a great listener. The reason why I want to emphasize upon this is because many times when we're listening to people expressing or explaining their stories, before they can even finish off your story, we begin to formulate ideas and generate ideas in our mind and responses in our

mind. So we have probably miss half of the story what this person is saying, or we're not even paying attention, or before this person can even finish we've already decided who's the guilty person who's the who's guilty and who's the innocent one. So that's why

We learn from the problems of Salem that part of mediation, part of conflict resolution is that when you're sitting with the two people, making sure that you listen to both stories, this is something that's very, very important. Then the next thing is that if there is anyone who is wronged, you see one person that they are speaking, and they're speaking very harshly to the other person, or there's, you know, they're going back and forth, as long as it's not disrespect. If there isn't, if there is a discussion that is taking place, then giving them both the ability and explain them the diamond o'clock, how to defend yourself, there was a story once that we find about I show the Allahu

anha. And she was approached by Xena below the Allahu anha. And Xena was older than Aisha, of course. So what happened was that she was, you know, she was talking to Aisha the law on her, and she was upset about something. But the fact that I saw the alarm on her the property, someone standing there, he's just, he's not taking anyone side right now. But the fact that I Isha, she began to defend herself, and she was very respectful about it. In fact, the Hadith in which she explains about this conversation, that to the way that tuples between her insane and worthy Allah Juana, she first says how amazing of a woman Xena was, how much duckula she had in her life, and how

much piety she had, she had in her life, she was very positive about this. And then she explained the how she defended herself. So in a situation that when two people are in a discussion, as long as it is amicable, as long as they are respectful towards each other, then you have to give both of them the ability to defend each other. Another thing that we have to also keep in mind is that we have to exhibit character, whether you are part of the mediation process, or you are one of the sides, there are probably like two, three sides, or two, three different parties that are involved in in conflict, every single person has to exhibit the highest level of character. That means that

being respectful towards each other, not yelling, not being harsh, not using profanity, and you know, subhanAllah, sometimes I've seen in, in mediation meetings, that just people, they lose their temper very easily. So we cannot one thing that we learn from the person is that no matter what the situation was, he made sure that everyone was respectful towards each other, did being disrespectful to one another was something that probably some he will never tolerate. The next one is being sincere. Now when I say this, I mean that you have to have a very sincere heart that you truly want them. As Allah says, In UD, that is Lohan if they both want Islam, Why did Allah say this brother

and sisters, is because if these two people who are being who are representing their parties, if they are coming to the table, but they are trying to dominate the other, they're trying to gain power over the other, and they're trying to exert their dominance over the other than that is not being sincere, that is not being sincere. That's why one thing that we learned is, it's always about sincerity. If you are truly sincere, that you want people to come together, you want peace. And that means that if you feel let me be very clear, if you feel that you know one person and you don't know the other person, and you feel that because you know one person, you're going to lean towards their

side and you are leaning away from the other person's side, then the best thing to do in that situation is you are not you should not even resolve the situation, you should not be a conflict or you should not be involved in conflict resolution, because one of the things that we learn about conflict resolution conflict resolution 101 Is that you have to be completely non bias. That means that you cannot take any one side, even if you know someone, there were cases where the problem he knew one party over the other, but the person was able to make sure that justice came above friendship. And so this is another thing that we have to understand. The next thing is having Taqwa

sincerity, that we want people to come together, we truly want to become a peacemaker. But the next thing is having Taqwa. That means that means that you put friendship aside, and you put justice and the Aden and equality in front of everything else. Allah subhanaw taala comes before because once again, when we are here, and we are trying to resolve a conflict, remember, this is not the only time they're going to meet. We're also going to meet before Allah subhanho wa Taala to and Allah if I'm in a position where I'm trying to resolve a conflict between two people, then it's better if I cannot do it, then you simply walk away but if you're going to be involved, making sure that you

cannot side with other people just on the basis of friendship. And not only that, but that also means that when you are in a situation and you're asked Liz

Say you're not you are standing as a supporter from from when the sides, then making sure that you do not side with the wrong just simply because of friendship. And that brings me to the next subject, which is justice and fairness. Any person who's involved in the conflict, the conflict resolution process, than making sure that above family above friendship, Justice has to be served. That means that if I'm on the side of a person, but I know deep down in my heart, that this person is not doing something right, then we cannot be with that person. That also means that when I come to a conflict, when I come to a resolution process, or a meeting, and I am not me, I'm not. I mean,

I'm not the main person of the party, but I'm just coming to support my friend, or I'm there to support one particular person, or I'm coming as I'm coming on as a side or being part of one party, that in that kind of situation, making sure that you do not put what's right above, above, making sure that friendship comes second, and Quran and Sunnah. And Justice comes before everything else. SubhanAllah. So many times I've seen in a conflict meeting or in a conflict resolution, meaning that people come and instead of trying to even bring peace Subhanallah This is why I said earlier, being sincere. If you're there just to take a side, then you're no good to that meeting, you're you rather

just leave. But if you're there, because you truly want justice, and you want people to come together, then that is the right person, you have to have the right idea. But I've seen so many different times when people are coming in, and the only thing they do is that they just support their friend, no matter what the friend is saying, whether it's right, whether it's wrong, they're simply just blindly supporting that person, that is not a situation where you want to be in. And in that kind of situation, you rather deny him and show your support. Because if you show your support, and if you stand on the side of wrong, then remember that this is not the only place even in the

ACA, Allah will hold you accountable and Allah will declare you as one of the wrongdoers also. Because whether you are a volume, or you are a supporter of the volume, the same, you will get the same punishment or you will receive the same kind of consequences, as the volume will be why because one is the volume and one are the supporters of the volume. And today we find that the worst thing that we can find today is that we do have volumes, we do have oppressors in this dunya but what's more dangerous is those who are supporting that and that oppression that is where it becomes very difficult. This is where we have so this is why we have so many issues to in this dunya so that's

why when it comes to this another province Saddam How did he resolve conflicts, this is why he shared number one is he had experience number two is he would listen to both sides. Number three is that he would allow both parties to defend themselves. Number three is he always will show character he will always demand a character from the others. Next one is he was always at sincere person the property some was very sincere Of course, trying to bring people together he had Taqwa he will not take sides above others, or he will not give preference to one over the other due to friendship. And the last thing the prerelease on will always do is justice and fairness is what supersedes

everything else. And it supersedes every other kind of relationship. So next time we're ever in a situation, we keep these few things in mind if we're asked to step into a situation. And once again, I'm going to I'm going to repeat this as I said earlier, if you feel like that you're stepping into a situation that you cannot resolve, deny even stepping into that situation to begin with. Because when these matters become very nasty, they become very dirty, then you are stuck in the you are the person stuck in the middle, and then it's gonna become very difficult for you to step out. So that's why the best thing is simply just leave it to someone else. Leave it to the experts. And if you are

dragged into the situation, making sure that you observe all these different guidelines of Rasulullah sallallahu Sallam I ask Allah subhana wa Taala to give all of us ability to understand these matters. And we ask Allah subhanaw taala and as I said earlier, may Allah resolve our conflicts, but if we're ever in a situation may Allah subhanho wa Taala give us ability to do what is right I mean noble Alameen is aka Malachite a salam Wa alaykum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh

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