Khatira – Etiquettes of Visiting Someone’s House

Nadim Bashir


Channel: Nadim Bashir

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The speakers discuss the importance of privacy and social gatherings in Islam. They stress the need for caution and respect in behavior and discuss the topic of religion and disrespect. They also touch on the topic of guest behavior and the timeframe for guests to visit certain locations.

Transcript ©

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One of the most beautiful things about our deen is that our deen is not just about anybody that our deen has taught us, through the teachings of the Quran demonstrated by Rasulullah sallallahu. It was sent him the dab of every single aspect of our life. If we're at home, how to behave at home, what's our behavior at home? If I'm dealing with the community, how do I deal with community members? If I go to someone's house? Where are the advocates in the ad up? If I go to the restroom? Where are the advocates in the ad up? There are people who even came to the hospital, the Allahu Anhu. And they said that your Islam has taught everything. And they were saying it in the meat in a way of mockery.

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And the Sahaba said, Yes, this is exactly what it is, even to the point that when we are with our spouse, even our deen has taught us how to be around our spouse. So today, I want to quickly run through something that based on some requests that have come from some community members. And because you know, once again, we are we are living in a very social community, the request has come to me is that if I can just quickly run through and just talk about what are some of the etiquettes when we go to someone else's house and hamdullah you know, we get many invitations, the very first thing that we have to understand when it comes to an invite is that number one, if you don't get the

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invite, and someone else does get the invite, then it should not be taken hard upon the heart. Many times we feel that Oh, I found out that someone else got invited to their house, why wasn't I invited? And then we take it upon ourselves that next time if that person who invited others if they if we cross paths, and that person makes it um, sometimes we don't even give a proper Salam back. Why? Because we have taken hard upon ourselves. Remember that? Number one is that there is no guarantee or there is no, you know, there's no compulsion of there's no obligation upon the other person to invite us if they wish to invite us, they will invite us. The second thing is that if we

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do get the invite, that in that kind of situation, if you have, you know, subhanAllah there are times when people have come to me, they have told me that sometimes we are living in such a social gathering, or such a social circle, that every single weekend, on Friday night, Saturday night, we have to go somewhere because we have to keep our social circle alive. And I'll tell you honestly, that if these kinds of social gatherings are taking a toll on you, your family, your religiosity, your psychology, and you feel like the I'm just scattered everywhere every single day I have to go somewhere, then there is absolutely nothing wrong to take a step back even Rama Rama de la la he has

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said that many times I have declined events, just because for my own spiritual sake for my own self sake, I have declined and declined events. And there is nothing wrong in declining event in a proper way. Now the next thing that we also learn from the Sunnah and the seal of the prophets of Salaam is that when you go to someone's house, if you are invited, then the very first thing is that the Quran says that Hulu boo you 10 available, you will take on that do not enter anyone else's house or a house that does not belong to you. That means that even if you see someone's door open, you do not walk into someone else's door. Even if you're invited. First thing is you should walk there and ring

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the doorbell and take permission before you walk in. Even on that same note, I will say that many times it is a nature of many people, they see a house being constructed and is under construction. And it's not you know whose house it is. But yet people start walking inside that house they start analyzing that house and so forth. The Quran has told us Lata dahulu boo uten ye Rabu ut come do not enter anyone else's house, how to start an e su till you are given permission, what to suddenly move under Ania. And you make salam to those who are living. So first thing is that when we get to someone else's house, we first take permission when we before we enter. Another thing that's also

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very common, which we have to be very careful about is that if I go to someone else's house unexpectedly, like they're not expecting us, I'm going to drop off something and so forth, then we have to pay a little extra attention to what time of the day it is. If it's early, like early during the day, if it's late at night, try to avoid ringing the doorbell just to be cautious that they may have children that children are probably sleeping at that time, and it may disturb them. So you have to be you know, we have to be a little cautious about these kinds of things. When you walk into someone's house. First thing is that we make salam to those who are living inside the house. We make

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Salam to the we make some to the host. And when we walk in, we learn from the Sunnah of the Prophet SAW Salem and from the Sahaba Rhodiola one home that they will not sit anywhere till they were told where to sit down. So this is another thing that's very important is that wherever we're told to sit, we will sit over there. Another thing that's also part of our deen is that we have to observe and respect the privacy of the home owner and the host. That means that if you see a door that is closed, you don't open that door to go inside and inspect. In fact, you know somebody

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Allah, I've been told that sometimes this happens in our Muslim community that people will come sometimes they will bring some food. And while giving that food, they will do like a 360 inspection of the house, okay? They, you know, okay, they have this and they have this and they have that. And in times I've even heard that people go, and they will take their phones out, Oh, I like this painting. You know, every single thing, every single you see around, you start taking pictures of it, it is highly disrespectful when you do these kinds of things. It is, you know, the host you make the host uncomfortable and those kinds of situations. Yes, absolutely. If you ask, you know, you see

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something very beautiful. You ask you see a nice, beautiful calligraphy, where do you buy this from once in a while is fine. But to ask for every single thing. Okay, where did you get this? Where'd you get this? Where'd you get this? This is not appropriate when you go to someone else's house. Another thing that we also learn is that trying to understand the host, and to understand his dynamics in the sense that one is to go and eat food. And after the food is over, a lot of times we began to engage and in every single diet, there's two subjects that always get highly discussed. First one is

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politics. Okay? Whether it's world politics, community, politics, family politics, is politics. And the second thing that always gets discussed on the dinner table is religion. And I will say that I've seen at times what happens is that sometimes I've seen this happening where when these topics get discussed, sometimes the discussion can become a little heated. In that particular situation, someone from the guest needs to take a stand at that time and say, You know what, we won't discuss these kinds of things because you're making the host see the host is the host the host is going to, you know, they they like to invite people so the host may not stop it, but the guests need to stop

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it right away. Another thing that we also learned from the Quran is when Allah subhanho wa Taala says for either time to infant Tashiro, when Musa is seen in the Hadith, sometimes people will stay there and they will stay there for an hour, two hours, three hours, and it becomes difficult upon the hosts. That is why

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that's why is upon the guest to understand try to read and after a while if you feel that now is the time or even the host can say the host can absolutely say that, you know, does that go ahead? And you know, my family, we need to, we need to wrap it up. Now there's nothing wrong in saying that at all your that is not disrespecting the guest at all. And one or two more things I do want to share is that one thing that I have seen and I've heard so many times, which is highly disrespectful, when you go to someone's house is is the food halal?

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Is the foods of Bihar, it is highly disrespectful. Look, I will say this being very honest, if you get an invite, okay, if you get an invite, and if that person purchases their meat from a place that you personally would disagree, it is not your preference. That's fine. You can simply decline as I said already, you can decline the event or the invite and say, I have I'm I'm you know busy perhaps or something and you don't go that's fine. But to go to someone's house and say that where do you buy the chicken from? Where do you buy your meat from? Is this a Bihar isn't known as the Bihar this is absolutely unequivocally disrespectful to their home owner to go and ask the homeowner that can

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you please show me where you bought this and then you're reading the ingredients in front of the host? Or to go to someone's house which I've heard you go to someone's house and you're opening the fridge and you're seeing what kind of things do they have inside their fridge to analyze if they buy halal foods or not, or to go to their spice cabinet. I've heard these kinds of stories. These are not fairy tales. I've heard these kinds of stories. This is absolutely disrespectful brothers and sisters. Even when you get invited to a restaurant, even if you get invited to a restaurant, I will recommend two things. Either you call the restaurant upfront and you ask them where do you if you

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know if you are if you are very worried about it, you call the restaurant in advance and you ask them where they buy them and where they purchase their meat from and so forth. And if it's according to your preference and you like it and it's okay with you, you go otherwise a second option is when you go there you don't touch anything that you would deem you would deem or anyone else would deem not right and your own personal opinion and that's it but to go even to the to the cash register, which are a poor man has no idea where the more the meat has been purchased from and where do you buy your meat where this where that harassing the guy at that time? It's highly wrong. Brothers and

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sisters, sometimes we become overzealous about our religion, that we begin to cross boundaries that we don't even understand that we're crossing boundaries. And the last thing is that before we leave, make dua for the guest of thought are in that Maasai Moonwalker, but I was salata lake when melodica Allahu Akbar Amina, was three months upon and make dua

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After the host make dua for the family of the host and so forth. That is what you want to do. Now one last thing I forgot to mention early on is that before you go to someone's house imagine, a lot of times I've heard this also that someone has passed away in the family. Usually there is a timeframe of the day that people usually go to their homes. Sometimes there are people who will who will just show up at their door, as if they're doing a favor upon the the host and we have come here to visit you and so forth is very important to understand that we respect the time of the host also, ALLAH SubhanA wa Taala he mentioned so 200 Wallow Sabado, Hatha kraja in a him, Locanda heilala home

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this is Allah talking about a Bedouin man who came to the house of Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, the Prophet alayhi salam was spending quality family time and he began to shout out Yeah, Mohammed Yeah, Muhammad, like he wants to probably some to come outside and entertain his question. And Allah subhanho wa Taala said, If this man stood outside and he was quiet and he was he was patient, this is better for him. Why did Allah say that? To teach this man a lesson? Who is the guest or who has unexpectedly shown up at someone else's house that tried to observe some respect for that person for that person and his time and so forth? It's not right to show up at someone

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else's house unexpectedly announced and expecting them to give you that time of the day. If they open the door they give you time has no problem inshallah. So these are just few things I want to share that we always keep in mind. Once again, these are things that we learned from the Sunnah and the seal of the prophets. I'll set them I asked us to make us amongst those who observed the Sunnah in the Sierra and the etiquettes of our deen Amitabha Allah mean is that como la Hey, Assalamu alaykum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh in Mussolini now almost Lima Do you want meaning what meaning do you want to quantity now I looked on it that he was loading pain I was boarding on the one saw the

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Rena was Slavia right the one before she you know for she

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wasn't for shearing force she is the one downside the lino one downside being 14 was on me now was all in

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one heavy Lina photo gentlemen one half your warranty was that good enough long I guess.

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What's going on? I don't know hula

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