The Sunnah of speech

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Asim Khan

Channel: Asim Khan

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Episode Transcript

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In the hospital, Hadith the keytab Allah subhanahu wa ala or Hiral howdy howdy Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa salam are shallow or more in depth to her Akula desert in vida, Aquila medallion, Bala Wakulla Bala tensioner, Amanda, my dearest brothers and sisters,

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one of the qualities of being a successful person in this life, and in the next is being an effective communicator, having this ability to be able to articulate your thoughts and get the point across.

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And this is something in fact, we don't really appreciate or think about, and I want you to imagine Subhanallah of those people

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that are afflicted with a stroke.

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And after the stroke, though they survive, many of them lose the power of speech.

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How is life after that?

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That when they want to say something, they're not able to move their tongue and allow the other person to understand how they are feeling?

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How would it be when you want to ask for something, and you are unable to communicate that intent? May Allah Subhana Allah protect us. But this is the blessing that we often do not think about speech, and more importantly, how to refine speech, so that it becomes more effective, makes you more charismatic, and allows you to communicate not just what you want, but the message of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam.

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And if we turn to the prophets, we find that

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they were great speakers, people who are articulate and eloquent Allah subhanaw taala says, and so Abraham, well, our cell number was sold in in BD Saturday Pomi Liuba Yun, Allahu Allah says, We never sent any messenger, except that he came in the language of his people, meaning he spoke their language, will you be an alarm so that he could clarify the message now want you to understand and appreciate that a profit is coming with a message that will save someone's life literally. And if he is unable to explain to them, how they must change their life, in order to gain salvation,

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he would fail that person. And that person if they misunderstood, they would fail.

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And they would be down to the hellfire.

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And so as a prophet of Allah, we find that they were graced with beautiful eloquent speech and our prophets that Allahu Allah Salam was known to have joba me or cut him, which means that he could say

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quotes or phrases that were very concise yet extremely profound. sallallahu alayhi wa sallam for example. He said, Look Me know mid to movement. These are just three words. A believer is a mirror to his believer, Allahu Akbar. What does that mean?

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has so many meanings for example a mirror, it shows you your flaws, as well as your attractive features. In the same way a believer a friend is supposed to be transparent. call you out when you make mistakes but also praise you when you do something right. A mirror also is accurate.

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What it shows you of yourself is precise and accurate as sold so so to should a believer when they speak or give advice be accurate in what they say in precise a mirror shows you what is around you behind you.

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In a very similar way a friend should make you aware of that which is around your behind you that you cannot see Subhanallah three words and yet so much meaning

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the promises and have also told us a lot mean that

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a person doesn't truly believe that you have very FEMA your head Bolinas you until he loves for his brother why he loves for himself a golden principle

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that if you truly want to know your status in the sight of Allah, look to see how you treat the believers in your life. If you love for them what you love for yourself. It shows that you are personal Hi Eman. May Allah make us from such people along the mean? Again such a small, short phrase concise, powerful and meaning.

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And he also said about the process of them his communication skills exceptional. It is said that when people used to speak to him, he would turn and face them fully. And I want you to understand and appreciate this when somebody comes to you from this

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aside and ask you a question, you may turn to look at them like this. But it's not the same as fully turning to look at them. And so you are face to face with them. How does that impact on that person? It makes them feel like this guy who asked a question.

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He values what I have to say he acknowledges me. He's listening to me, Subhan Allah.

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And he also said about the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam.

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Then he would make a person feel like they were the most special person in the world. Allahu Akbar.

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Allah of Laos around the Allahu turned around, he was one of the last people of Makkah to embrace Islam before that, he made it his mission to try to undermine the Prophet sallallahu Arliss and he was the one who went to Abyssinia to try and trick and the Joshi, the king to release the Muslims who had migrated there so the Balkans could punish them.

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And yet after he became Muslim, though he is one of the last to become Muslim. He spent a few years as a believer living in Medina with the Prophet salallahu Alaihe Salam and it is reported that he asked the process Salam Yara Sula, who do you love the most?

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fully expecting that the prophets of Allah who lives some would say, average is you?

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But the person who said no, it is Alisha, Robbie, Allah with Anna Anna. And then Amber, Amber asked, and who then after that, and he said it is the father of Robocop.

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And then what about after that? Is that then it is over.

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And I haven't said I felt shy, to continue to ask, because my phone my name would never come. But the point here is that he believed that the prophets of Allah who are there were some loved him the most. Why, because of how he communicated with him when he was speak to him, and he would give him his undivided attention.

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And he will listen to him and talk to him as though he valued him so much so that he felt that special. This is how the prophets of Allah sort of used to communicate. And this is a lesson for us today, in self help, they talk about being a better listener, they talk about having active listening being an active listener.

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And this is very similar to what we are talking about from the Sunnah of the Prophet sallallahu ALA. So they say that listening is of levels.

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The lowest form of listening, they say, is when you're waiting to speak.

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That's when you're basically in an argument. And the person is talking. And you're thinking, Okay, hurry up, hurry, hurry up, as soon as they suppose you jump in. You haven't heard a word of what they said. In fact, you don't care what they said, just want to get your word in SubhanAllah. This is the lowest level of listening. The highest they say is when you are empathetic towards the other person when you are listening, and trying to figure out where are they coming from? What is their concern? What is the intent behind what they are saying.

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And the irony is that sometimes you don't listen. Because you feel as though if you spend time listening, you will have to spend more time, you will waste time you say to yourself, but what happens when you don't listen carefully, miscommunication happens, misunderstanding happens. And that is when problems start which take longer to resolve. And had you just listened carefully to that person, Subhan Allah.

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And then you responded.

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If you think about bad communication, what that leads to, you'll find that it can be very, very disastrous. One of the consequences of being a poor communicator is that it can create friction in your life, maybe between friends, I'll give you an example.

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Imagine you lent someone money, maybe a friend, a good friend of yours. And as you lend them the money, you said, pay me back whenever you can. No worries, as many people say, but you didn't really mean that.

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That wasn't really, truly how you felt that they could pay you back 10 years down the line. But you said it anyway.

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out of politeness, maybe. But then when that friend starts to

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prolong

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that loan, and starts to wait and wait and wait, and you're thinking, Oh, hang on over. What is this guy gonna pay me back? Then you start to have friction, that you don't want to speak to them properly anymore. Then you start having bad thoughts. Look, he's going on holiday. Maybe that's the money I gave him he's going on holiday with.

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And then the relationship starts to deteriorate. If you just rewind

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to that mobile, you said broad payment back whenever you kind of said, Listen, I'm easy, so long as you pay back within one year. I'm okay. How much

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headache would have saved you that may have saved the friendship itself. How many people Subhanallah break relationships because of money?

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And how many times that money problem was actually a communication problem.

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Think about inheritance. The father, he didn't make it clear, how much should go to who.

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Now, even though the shears have already been divided according to Sharia, maybe a particular item was supposed to go to a particular person.

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And had the father just said to his sons and his daughters, look, this is one thing, I would like to go to this person. Are you all okay with that? And if they said, so long, if they said, Yes, it's fine, so long as the value of it doesn't overstep the share. I'm happy with that. In fact, they could have even said, Father, you want to give this person this house? And this is more than what you're going to give us. But we are happy with that. Even that Islamically is acceptable, because it is their right that they are foregoing. But because the father didn't have that conversation, and he didn't communicate properly. When he passes away, the brothers start fighting and bickering. I said

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no, he told me this. The other says no, it is anything like that. And then what happens? It gets messy.

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And then the relationships break down Subhanallah what a disaster all because of poor communication. So what are the things we should get better at

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is being better listeners, that when somebody talks to us, we follow the Sunnah and we face them fully.

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And we pay attention to what they are saying. And we wonder where is this person coming from?

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And then we respond. And this is part of active listening. We ask Allah subhanaw taala to improve us in our communication skills, and allow us to follow the Sunnah of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, a full body hello sir for Allah and He will accompany so sweet for Sofitel in the whole world before Rahim.

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Smilla Rahmanir Rahim Al hamdu Lillahi Rabbil Alameen wa salatu salam ala Shafi lambiel mousseline Amina Muhammad Anwar early was that we had married a mother.

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A second tip to being a better communicator, is to have good assumptions of the person you are talking to.

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There was an interesting story from the life of the prophet Sallallahu, Allah sent me sent a companion, Allah leads to go to a faraway tribe who had recently converted outside of Medina and collect zakat.

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Now this first one, he went the automation,

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he was going to receive the money from these people. And when he arrived at the outskirts of that tribes territory, he saw that they had already come out and they are walking towards him.

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Now the reason they were walking towards him, was to greet him, to meet him and give him Salam. But when he saw them coming out, he thought, they're coming to kill me. They don't want to pay this ticket. These people have turned against the prophets, Allah, sir. And so what did he do? He turned his horse around and he went back to Medina. And he said, Yeah, rasool Allah, I think they have either apostate or they are refusing to give this account. Now look at this, that is basically a signal for war. And in that moment, the Prophet salallahu Alaihe salam to make a decision, what do I do?

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Should I send out the army to go and teach them a lesson to collect that cigar by force? No, he sent another companion.

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And he said, go and investigate. So Holly leads around the alarms and I was sent out. And what do you do he count somewhere outside of that territory? And in the night time, at fertile time, he would go and he would try and eavesdrop what is happening at first of time. And he heard that

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he heard the Avada Fajr time and he went back to the process and said jasola I heard the Adana for the time they are still Muslim

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and so and I was revealed in the Quran yeah you were living in India and comfortable Minerva In fact, every year No.

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Oh believers, evil person comes in in the IS is a wicked person comes to you with a piece of news, verify it, and to Cebu calm and be Johanna unless you go ahead and damage a people out of ignorance. Now, in that narration, when the promises seldom heard what Khalid said about them still being Muslim. He said something beautiful, he said, an hour or two

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I mean, Allah will Angela to misshapen he said, deliberation is from Allah. And haste is from shaitan SubhanAllah. And this is a timeless lesson when it become when it comes to being a good communicator, that when somebody speaks to you, maybe somebody upsets you or annoys you, you first tell yourself, you know what, I'm not going to react out of impulse or emotion. How many times? Do you land yourself in trouble? Because you reacted out of haste. You spoke out of emotion, and then you regret what you said, SubhanAllah. But the problem with words is that they are like a sword, they can cut someone. And that cut can be permanent. And if it's your wife, or your husband, or your

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children, that could be a trauma that they never get over. And all the while you're like, you know what, subhanAllah if only I had just waited a moment, for a better time to speak about the issue. It would have saved me so much trouble that Allah grant is understanding.

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The last advice I would give myself and to all of you

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is that the Prophet salallahu alayhi salam, he used to practice silence. And this is something that many of us do not do anymore. And you might be thinking just about your speech. Think about your activities online. How many times you comment, how many times you post all of that is part of your speech.

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Now listen to what the Prophet said I sort of said, he said, When Kara you may know Biller, he will your mill, whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day, failure to hyaluron only speak good or remain silent. That is the principle that you follow that before you open your mouth, you ask yourself a question. And the question is, is what I'm going to say? Good, beneficial, valuable, noble, pleasing to Allah? And if the answer is no, what should you do? Be silent? And this will save you so much trouble in life. And this will save you from the fire of Jahannam Subhan Allah because one of the if not the mother of all sins is the tongue.

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Think about that. How many times does your speech lead you to say something haram? Gossiping, backbiting, lying? Deceiving, all of this comes from where the tongue? And how do you say to yourself, you know what I'm going to think before I speak? Is it good?

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Or should I remain silent? How do you remain silent all those times of how to lock

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the record of sins would be drastically reduced. We ask Allah subhanaw taala to allow us to be mindful of our speech, and to forgive us for the slips of our tongue along mean and to allow us to be better communicators allow me to volum Nan Posada while Dr. Phil and

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then Hakuna middle hostellerie Rahman Allah to Zulu when I've added Hadith and I will have it Allah Milligan Kurama in the cultural hub of Jena dunya Hassan or Phil Filati Hassan Joaquin Agha now why are people so?

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Allahu Akbar

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Allah

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as I knew, I never have met them Rasul Allah