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Fathers & Sons in the Quran #2 Luqman and his son Part 1

Nadim Bashir

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Salam alaykum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh Bismillah Haman humbly alayhi wa Salatu was Salam ala Sudhi Muhammad wa ala alihi wa sahbihi. Germaine, I'm about to welcome to our first segment of fathers and sons in the Quran. So how about today, after going through all the different stories that do exist between fathers and sons in the Quran, I chose to start the series with a story of Aquaman Aquaman al Hakim, and the stories we mentioned, of course in the Quran, and what's beautiful about the story is that there are so many lessons that we can learn right off the bat, right right from the very beginning. The fact that Allah subhanho wa Taala says, Well, according to local man and Hekmatyar

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and escuela, first of all, is that local man by all accounts, according to a majority of the orlimar he was not a prophet. He was Hakeem in the sense that he was a very wise man. And that means that in his approach, it was very wise. Allah subhanho wa Taala he says in the Quran util Hikmat amania Sha, Omen you tell Hikmah certificado, Ooty hyaluron Kathira that ALLAH SubhanA wa taala. He gives hikma to whoever he wants. But anyone who has been given hikma they have been given immensely by Allah subhanho wa taala. So when we talk about Lachman, and the fact that he was Hakeem, he was very wise, it should not be taken very lightly. This is something that is given from Allah subhanho wa taala.

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And only, you know, few people have the wisdom and the ability to understand what is right, and what should be done at the right time, the right place, and so forth. But the fact that Lachman and Hakeem was not a prophet, but the fact that he was able to advise his son, and do the therapy of his son by giving him some good advices Subhan Allah, this is so beloved to Allah subhanho wa taala, when a father connects with his own son with his own children, and he's teaching them that tool today, until the day of judgment, we will be reciting. And we will be reading the story of local man in the Quran. So never, for all fathers, do not ever underestimate the fact that you sit down with

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your children, and you do the therapy of your children, we also learn that, that giving advices to your children and teaching your own sons in particular for fathers. This is not the primary responsibility of the mother. Yes, the mother has a certain role the mother is going to be teaching. She is you know, as many people they say that the she is like the first madrasa for the child. She's the first law school for the child, she teaches the child and so forth. But never should have father believed that I have nothing to do with the education of my child. And the reason I mentioned this is because we come from a culture that many of us actually believe that when it comes to the

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children, when it comes to their school, when it comes to the third bi when it comes to anything related to the children, the Father has nothing to do with that. And he actually believes that the only responsibility that he has is to be the disciplinarian in the family, or to bring food and to bring money inside the house. And when we study the story of Luke Amman and we say the other stories in the Quran of fathers and sons, we learned that this is not the only responsibility of a father to be the disciplinarian, and to bring money into the house, or to to earn to have the primary incomes or the house. But it goes even beyond that, you know, subhanAllah I remember some years ago when I

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was actually part of a Quran program. I remember that I had called One had called the parents of the student, and I had called the Father. And I remember the father when he picked up the phone, he said that he did not even know that his child was in a Quran program mean that he is completely oblivious of the fact that his child is in a Quran program. And that in itself is very sad. So that's why for all fathers, if you actually believe that your responsibility does not or during the therapy of your own child, and teaching your own children is not primary responsibility. The Quran says otherwise. We also learn from the story of Lachman that when it comes to giving advice to your own children,

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it's very important to keep the advice very concise, and short and to the point. And what's important, you know, the reason I say this is because, you know, subhanAllah when you sit down with many of the youth, one thing that they will tell you is that you know, our parents always give us a long lecture and you will see like a lot of times when you're when you start giving a talk to your own child

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Old, you know, they zone out, they just are, you know, they become oblivious, they are not paying attention at all. And a lot of times, this makes the parents even more upset, it makes them angry that I'm trying to give you a sincere advice, and you're not paying attention to it at all. And what we don't realize is that majority of our parents who are giving this advice they grew up overseas. Now overseas, that would work overseas long lectures would actually motivate our parents and so forth. But what we don't realize is that in America, giving a long lecture to your own children, you're not doing any good, actually, you're gonna just, you know, you're going to push them away.

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And this is why when we say the story of Luke Roman, there is not many stories in the Quran about lucuma. And there's only one place in the Quran, where Allah talks about Luke Oman. And when we talk about Surah, Oman, it's not that the entire surah is also by Lachman, and Hakeem, there's only one passage that is regarding Oman and Hakeem and so, this is very evident of the fact that when it comes to giving advice to your children, always make sure that you do not have to give a long lectures, you have to give very simple instructions, very simple advices. To your children, we also learn the beauty of law commands advisor is child, when you study all the advices that he has given

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a lesson for all of our fathers is that when it comes to giving advice, give a range of advices give advices across the board, local man gives his son advice about about first of all the awareness of Allah subhanho wa taala. He says, you know, he talks about making sure that you don't do * with Allah subhanho wa taala. He talks about the importance of salaat he talks about the importance of having the awareness that if you do something wrong, Allah subhanho wa taala, he will bring your bring it forth on the Day of Judgment. This is you know, teaching the child this is the command teaching his own son, that they are the rights of Allah subhanho wa taala. He also teaches him the

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rights of people, well, let's say you know, in Santa beware today we will talk about that in sha Allah later on. And one of our segments, he also talks about the importance of character, do not be Do not be arrogant, in fact, be humble. He also teaches his son about the importance of social welfare, that how as a Muslim, for a person who believes in Allah, how you are to spread good in your community, when you see something wrong, you must turn it down, you must forbid it. And you and when you see something that is good, you promote it. And this is why in the same passage, he advises his son, what more build my roof one hand and one car. So you see that look, man is not only giving

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one advice today Subhanallah when fathers are giving advice to their own children, sometimes it's only about dunya it's only about dunya my son study, study study, and then you know, get good grades do this do that, but usually is only revolving only one topic or probably two topics. That's why when it comes to as fathers, what we need to do is that when it comes to giving advice to our own children, especially fathers to sons, then first as I said earlier, no long lectures, but number two is give a variety of advices to your son. So the very first thing Allah subhanaw taala he says, What if called a local man who live in hee hee, well, who are you? Whoo hoo, yeah, buena yet led to Shrek

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Billa in Shilka novel Mona alim. Inshallah today I just want to just focus only on this one idea. First of all, is that this is telling us something very beautiful. The Quran is telling us what remember the time when law C'mon, remember the time when law Kumar is telling his son, well, who were evil who and He is advising him. Now this a lot of times when we read the English translation, we may not be able to capture the essence of the Arabic language, but the word Wow vaya or evil, this word Maori Law, or here Allah subhanaw says, Well, who is he who? This is a word that implies that look, Oman is finding the right time to give an advice to his son. And this is exactly what

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hikmah is all about. hikma is giving saying something right at the right time at the right place. And is not only about it's not ever about, you know, always saying always having the need to say something, you know, subhanAllah sometimes there are people who are just so motivated to give Dawa and they always want to correct people that they don't usually look at the situation and they just usually to speak out whatever's on their mind not realizing that when it comes to bringing people closer to Allah Subhana Allah to Allah. Allah says, although Elijah severely Rebecca Bill Hikmah, by bringing people closer to Dean through Heckman, when the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, when

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he was when he left or if and he is bleeding and he goes to

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A garden. He goes to a garden, and there he meets a person by the name of Deus. And who is this person? He is a person who has a connection with the tribe of Nan WA, the city of Manoir from where Yunus Alehissalaam comes. And what are the Prophet SAW Selim do? Do he right off the bat? As soon as he met him the start giving him Dawa. I call you to Allah subhanho wa Taala and so forth. No, the problem was salam. He had immense amount of wisdom in his approach. The very first thing he did was, he says, Bismillah R Rahman Rahim. This in itself, it caught the attention of others. Then he says, then what is this Bismillah that you are reciting? Then the Prophet SAW Salem, he begins to call him

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to Islam. And then he says, he built a connection. See, when you build a connection with people, people are going to listen to you. And this is what a man does also, and we'll talk about this, but he builds a connection, and he says, Where are you from? And he says, I am from Nan WA. He says, Oh, my brother is also from Manoa. He says, Who is your brother and the Prophet alayhi. Salam replied, responds by saying that my brother Eunice is from Nan WA. And like this, he was able to bring him into Islam. We also learn from the story of the man as the rhodiola, on a man who came into Makkah, and he was by profession, a psychologist, this is a person in the time of the Prophet SAW Salem, and

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they came to the Prophet SAW Salem. In fact, when he came to the came into Makkah, he was informed that this is a man who has lost his sanity. You don't want to go and be around this person. But what did you do? He went, he went to the Prophet salallahu audio. So he just want to see that what is he saying? That why people are saying that he has lost his sanity? Why is he an insane person? And what did the Prophet alayhi salam do? Did he lose his cool? Did he get angry? No. The prodigal son was very communist approach. Once again, Hey, come on, what are the Prophet alayhi salam, he do? He says, In Alhamdulillah, Allah Narmada, who was the you know what, I still feel the whole bottle

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Hijjah he just recited the whole thing. And the model as the is shocked, he is blown away, that how can a man who has lost his sanity see such beautiful words? And he says, can you repeat it again, because the first time may have been, you know, by chance, you know, probably he cannot, if he has, he has no Santi that he cannot repeat his words. And then again, Ross was a sudden from the beginning, till the very end, he recited the entire hospital Hajah. And then the mother as the said, the wide leaves people they call you insane. You're not insane. Look at the words that you are saying. And this is when was last time he gave the hour. And he came to the fall of Islam. And

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there's the stories just go on and on. But this is the idea that I'm trying to mention is the Quran is telling us that Look, man, he says, Well, who were your evil, who he's finding the right time to give an advice to his son, not that when your son he falls into trouble. And then you say to him, See, I told you, you did not listen to me. Now. This is what happens. You don't do this. At that time. He's going through an emotional situation. He's going through emotional difficulties. If anything, he needs to be consoled at that time. But if a father comes and he tries to give an advice, at that time, it's not going to be taken well in fact is going to be pushed away. This is

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why the Quran tells us well, who are you who does that look, man, he found the right time on many occasions and he gave his advice to his son. Even in the hadith of Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, a very long Hadith, a very beautiful Hadith that I'm sure many of you have heard is found in Timothy and in Abu Dhabi with the Hadith narrated by about him in a Saudi Arabia time. We're in he says, Wow, one Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam more evolved 10 by Lee Horton, what g that means? What that effect mean? Hello Are you on for a year or so law? Mo Eva to more dine. This is a hobby saying that the prophesy son one time you sitting around us, and he's giving this advice to us

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as if he's about to leave. And we learned that this is one that you know, this is a Hadith the Prophet alayhi salam mentioned towards the end of his life. And so one thing that we learned is that probably some once again, finding the right situation, the right time to give this advice to his own Sahaba or the autonome. That's why this hadith uses the word mo or Eva. So this is the whole point is that when it comes part of being wise part of of having hikmah is that when it comes to giving advice, like in the state of local man, finding the right time to give the advice, this is something very important. Now the second thing he says is yep when a year he shows love to his son. This is

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something that many times fathers we don't do to our own children. You know when it comes to giving advice. First of all, he's finding the right time. Now when he finds the right time

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he sits down with his own children. And what is he saying? He says Yagoona showing that love showing that compassion today Subhanallah brothers and sisters, you'll be shocked that how many of our kids, even though you may actually think you may actually believe, as a parent, that you're giving so much attention to your children. But today, if there's one thing that children across the board, whether they're Muslim, or even not even a Muslim, one thing that they always are complaining about is the lack of attention, the lack of attention, and I understand every family is different sometimes, you know, there might be a lack of intention with of attention with some children because of the

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dynamics of our family and so forth. But one thing is that we need to always show love to our children, when it comes to giving advice show love to our children here, he says, Yeah, Boo Neha. Oh my dear son. And not only that, but first of all, the Quran says, well, Hawaii, Idaho, yeah, Eva, who means that you give a very humble advice, a very calm advice, a very loving advice. And then on top of that, to say, Oh, my dear son, Oh, my dear son, this is something that's very profound. So that's why next time, whenever we give advice to our children, always we need to show love, even if we find we find them in a difficult situation. The very first thing and the only thing probably to

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do at that time is to show our love to show our support. And if we do that, we will see our children that we always complain about that they are not so close to us, you will see them coming close to you. So this is something that's of course, very, very important. Now, the next thing that is also important is that he gives the first advice recently he says law to Shrek Billa do not associate partners with Allah subhana wa taala. Here, look, man is teaching all of us as fathers a very valuable lesson and that is that before we even teach them, to become respectful to us, as parents, he's teaching them the importance and the concept of Allah subhanho wa Taala you know, how many

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times parents they will say about their children, you know, my children, mashallah are very, very good, very good hearted, but a chip at your hair, you know, and a lot of times, what we don't realize is that our definition of a child or our definition of mashallah, these are excellent kids is what that when it comes to respect, they're very common front of us, they will help us around the house, they will care for their mother, and they will care for the Father. And these are no doubt these are very good traits. And these are good behaviors and characteristics that the children may have. But what is the point? If you have done tarbiyah, and you want them to respect you and love

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you, but they have absolutely no regard for Allah subhanho wa taala? What is the point that if you make them so respectful of you of ourselves, and they don't pay us a lot, and they are not aware of the account of Allah subhanaw taala they're not aware of what is the what is Allah's expectation from them, and so forth. What's the point of that kind of tarbiyah This is why Lokmanya is teaching us a very key advice. A very valuable lesson for all of us, as parents, and especially fathers is that before you teach your kids anything, you must teach your kids who Allah subhanho wa Taala is, I'm not telling you that you go and teach them books and books and books, just teach them the basics

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about what ALLAH SubhanA wa Taala is how Allah subhanaw taala is in control of the universe. When you sit down with your with your children, ask them who has given you this food, it is Allah who has given this food, who has who is the one who has put a roof over your head, it is Allah subhanaw taala has put a roof over your head. And not only that, but it's also important that when we teach because, as I said, teaching about teaching about Allah subhanaw is first important. And the result of that is that when they know Allah, and when they understand the expectations of Allah, then everything else will be taken care of. As parents, we want to be respected by our children. If our

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children know who Allah is, and they understand Allah's expectations from them, they will automatically respect their parents. This is why when you see children who have so much Allah in their heart, so much Allah in their heart, they have a level of spirituality in their heart, they will show love to their parents, they will show love to their siblings, and they will do always the right thing. Whereas children who don't have Allah in their heart, and by the way, I may say, I have to say this too, that making your kids a half of the Quran is great. But sometimes many of us we actually think that make them have the Quran is actually putting Allah in their heart, or sending

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them to a conference or a seminar is going to bring Allah in their heart. No, this requires years and years of constant therapy. Teach them who Allah subhanaw taala is, remember when Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, he's sitting with Edna Abbas and what is he saying? He says Yahoo lamb in new Alleman kalimat I'm going to teach you a few things. And the Prophet Allah Islam is teaching him

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The core fundamental of who Allah is, if everyone wants to do something, and Allah does not want it to happen, it will not happen if Allah is if everyone's going in one direction, and ALLAH SubhanA wa Taala does want something to happen, it will happen. When you want something you ask only Allah when you want help us only Allah subhanho wa Taala if you take care of Allah, Allah, Allah will take care of you. This is the advice given by Rasulullah saw salam to a child and see once again the Prophet alayhi salam, the right time. This is the time when Ibn Abbas is sitting with Rasuwa Salam on his right. And there's only the just the two of them, and they can bond at that time. That is when

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Rasulullah saw some he's giving him this beautiful advice. So this is why it's so important that when it comes to our children, and when it comes to their Deen, the very first thing that we have to teach them is about Allah Subhana Allah to Allah. And then not only that, but if the parents, they are teaching about Allah, but there is no Allah in their life, then we also learn that the children are not going to develop Allah in their life. This is why Imam Ghazali Rahmatullah Ali, I would advise that you go and you find this book, you can probably find it online to about he talks about, he has written an entire book on how to do the therapy of children. And he mentioned very clearly,

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that even if you think your children is not understanding, but when you do write things in front of your children, they see they observe, and they, they observe, and not only that, but they will take it in and they will internalize it. And when they constantly see their parents doing something in a particular way, they will start doing the same thing. How many times do we see that when fathers go into one certain direction, when it comes to business and so forth, usually the children they follow the steps of the footsteps of their father, when the Father is saying that become true slaves of Allah subhanho wa taala. But the Father Himself does not have Allah in his life, then how will the

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children have Allah in their life. So this is why we learn from the story of Aquaman that is not just about teaching, but it's about actually internalizing, and actually bring Allah into your life so that when your children they see when your children they see, then they can, they actually are able to build a connection between words and actions. So it's all going to stop right here. One last thing I will also say is that when we talk about shidduch, so here Lokmanya is saying that do not do * with Allah subhanho wa taala. And he is saying that this is a very big crime in the circle of women all the time. Now, of course, the Hadith of the Prophet alayhi salam teaches us that there is

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something called a shell called coffee. And that is

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a real this is that when you do something to show off to someone else, or you do something that is good, but to impress someone else. And I think that in this day and age, especially in this day and age, especially, we have to teach our children to be honest, and to have a class when it comes to Allah subhanaw taala. Rather than sisters, today, we are living in a social media world, we are living in a world where so many of our kids to seek attention, they're going on social media. And I will say that, you know, subhanAllah, that in this day and age, especially for our duat for our Allama for our Imams for all those who are engaged in any good Islamic work, any good Islamic work,

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if you ask a lot of them, I can speak only for myself. And I certainly believe that the biggest challenge today is to have a class, living in a time where so many people are worried about what others think about them, and worried about what what are the perceptions of other people about them, and what people are saying about them. We're living in that time, and Subhanallah you know, it's very sad that many times you see many of our youth, they start doing good things, but all of it is about just impressing someone else, or trying to please someone else. We need to teach as fathers we teach our children that do good, but do it only and only for Allah sake, do only do something only

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to please Allah subhanho wa Taala if we see our own children, that they are doing something good, but they're always trying to seek the approval of someone else. We must teach our children that part of Sheikh is that do not do anything for anyone else. Do everything only and only for Allah sake. So inshallah we'll go in and start right here I asked Allah subhanaw taala to make us the best version of ourselves and give us the May Allah give us ability to be the best fathers that we can for our children. I mean noble Alameen is akmola hate Assalamu alaykum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh

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