Nadim Bashir – Anger Anger Is One Letter Short Of Danger
AI: Summary ©
The importance of managing one's anger and avoiding negative emotions is emphasized. The need for a proper approach to becoming angry is emphasized, and the importance of channeling emotions into control is emphasized. The importance of finding a valid reason for becoming angry is emphasized, and the need to handle anger in a correct way and avoid becoming angry is emphasized. Consciously sitting down when angry and not speaking negatively to others is advised, and finding a space in one's back 2 rooms to avoid gaps in the main hall is also emphasized.AI: Transcript ©
I ask Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala
that just as he has gathered us here
today on this day of jum'ah, may Allah
subhanahu wa ta'ala gather us along with our
families in
in the companionship of Rasulullah
and his
Brothers and sisters, Allah
has created us as human beings with many
emotions.
And Allah
what he wants from us is that while
we come to
while there are times in our life,
while while we may exercise these emotions.
It is very important that we exercise these
emotions
based on
the Qur'anic guidance and the prophetic guidance of
the Prophet
We find that as human beings, there are
times when we fall into anxiety.
As human beings, sometimes we might fall into
depression.
At times we will experience several different types
of emotions
in our lifetime.
Does that mean that these are times that
we cannot?
Does that mean that as a human being,
I cannot
express my anxiety,
or my depression,
or there might be jealousy, or there might
be hatred. These are all feelings that come
to our heart.
It means that, yes. Allah has created us
as human beings. Yes, we can feel these
kind of emotions,
but we have to make sure that we
always choose the right route. We always do
what is right.
We find in the life of the prophet
that there were times of grief,
but he would always channel his grief in
the right way.
There were times of sadness,
but he would channel his sadness in the
correct way. There were times of anxiety,
uncertainty,
but the prophet shalallahu alaihi wa sallam, he
would always choose the right option.
There were times when the prophet shalallahu alaihi
wa sallam, even though he would get angry,
but he would make sure that he always
would channel his anger in the right way.
Brothers and sisters, today inshallah, in this khutba,
I wanna talk about an emotion
that you and I, we feel at times.
And in fact,
an emotion that has really affected our families,
it has affected us personally, it has affected
our community at times too.
And that is the emotion
of becoming angry.
Yes, we are human beings.
Yes, we will become angry.
But there's a right way to channel our
anger, and this is what we need to
understand. Today, inshaAllah, in this khutba there are
4 important points. I want you to remember
these 4 important points, inshaAllah, when it comes
to the subject of anger.
The very first thing is
that we need to understand the idea behind
anger.
Once again, the prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam, when
he talks about emotions,
he does not tell us to do something
that is beyond our control.
But what the Prophet shalallahu alaihi wasallam is
telling us that make sure you do not
do anything wrong after that.
A person is grieving.
At that time, he can grieve no problem.
But if they say something that is against
Allah and his wishes, then that becomes wrong.
When a person is sad, and they do
something that is wrong, that it does not
matter how sad they are, their sadness does
not justify their wrong actions.
Likewise, when we become angry, brothers and sisters,
we have to make sure that, yes, we
become angry. That's not the problem. The problem
is what comes after the anger often becomes
a problem. So when the man comes to
the Prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam, and he
says,
give me an advice.
The prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam says,
And the man said, okay. Give me another
advice. The man Again, the prophet alaihis salam
says,
Do not become angry. And he did this
the 3rd time. And again, the 3rd time,
rasulullah
sallallahu alaihi wa sallam said, Do not become
angry.
Now is this a moment where the prophet
alaihi wa sallam is telling us that we
cannot even exhibit
human feelings?
That is not what the prophet is telling
us. In fact,
ulamadi say, that this man
who came and asked the Prophet alaihis salam
this advice,
was a man who perhaps
had a lot of anger issues,
and he did not know how to control
his anger issues. And that is why the
Prophet sallallahu alaihi wasalam It was a very
common practice, by the way of the Prophet,
that anyone who would come and say, You
Rasulullah,
give me some kind of advice. The Prophet
knew each person's weakness,
and he would try to focus on that
weakness. Perhaps this man who came, who said
that, You Rasulah, give me advice. Perhaps he
did not know how to control his anger,
and rasulullah sallallahu alaihi wasallam is telling him
that you can The problem is not that
you become angry.
The problem is what comes usually after anger.
The second thing that we need to understand
regarding the same idea about the understanding the
concept of anger within our deen is that
when the prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam, he
would get angry,
it would be different
than why other people would get angry.
Often, the prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam, he
would get angry, but it was not anger
for personal reasons.
He would become angry when he saw people
violating the laws of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala.
He would get angry when he saw people
breaking the orders of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala,
and violating the rights of their the tenants
of their deen. This is why rasulullah sallallahu
alaihi wasallam he would get upset. The prophet
alaihi wasallam, he would get angry
when he saw the zulum was taking place.
That is when he would get angry. The
prophet would get angry when he saw people
fighting amongst themselves. When he saw that there
was a conflict brewing in the community,
and growing in the community, that is something
that the prophet he would get upset at.
So we learn from the silah of the
prophet, that if you truly want to become
angry, and you do need to become angry,
that we should become angry
when we see people doing wrong things.
What we see happening in Gaza, yes that
makes us angry. When we see things, when
we see things happening
in our community,
yes we can become angry, but there has
to be the right approach to becoming angry.
And you need to have a valid reason
for becoming angry. The valid reason is that
there is a right of Allah. There is
a sunnah of the prophet alaihi wa sallam
that is being violated. That is when you
can become angry. The second reason why we
can become angry is for personal reasons. And
in that, we must make sure that we
channel our emotions the correct way. So the
very first thing is that there is a
proper understanding
when it comes to anger.
The second thing that we need to understand
when it comes to anger is
that often, if anger
is not channeled correctly,
and it is not channeled properly,
it can become a danger. And if you
think about it, the word anger, if you
add the we The letter d to the
beginning of it, it becomes danger. If we
don't know how to control our anger, it
becomes a moment of danger for us. And
subhanallah,
we don't realize this, that when a person
becomes truly angry,
and their face changes,
the color of their face changes, and so
forth, and you see that at times people
become so angry that they begin to shiver
and so forth. This is a moment where
shaytan has become
overpowering over them. This is a moment that
shaytan has taken full control over them. And
not only that, brothers and sisters,
but when a person becomes truly angry,
at that time if they do not control
themselves,
and they don't control their anger,
their anger begins to control them.
Think about it. If we cannot control our
anger, then that anger begins to control the
tongue. At that time when we become angry,
we say things that will later on we
regret.
We will say things that later on we
cannot take back.
We might say things to someone, and break
their heart, and no matter how many times
we go to them and we say, I
apologize.
I'm sorry.
Because it came out. And often
what comes out
at the time when a person is emotionally
compromised
is often the thing that is in their
heart.
For so many days, so many weeks, so
many years, a person has bottled up some
kind of thought, some kind of idea in
their heart, and when they become angry, and
because anger has now is now controlling the
tongue, the person begins to just say whatever
comes to their mind. So this is why
it becomes a moment of danger.
When a person
is controlled by the shaytan,
and the shaytan is using the anger to
control them, then just like we see a
baby when they're playing with a toy, they're
playing with a ball, if the if the
baby throws the ball upwards, the ball is
gonna go upwards. If he throws it downwards,
it's gonna go downwards.
Likewise, when we let the anger control us,
brothers and sisters, we are letting shaytan
play around with us, and control us, just
like that child is playing with the ball.
Then at that time, the anger
becomes in control of our heart, and at
that time, the heart begins to grow hatred
for that one person. It begins to grow
envy regarding another person, and it begins to
plot and plan against another person. When the
anger becomes dominant
over the person, it even takes over their
their actions, and at that time, in the
heat, and in the moment of anger, a
lot of times we would do things. We
might even hit someone, we might even hurt
someone, we might destroy something, we might damage
property in that moment of anger, and later
on, no matter how much we are regretful,
but at that time, when the anger took
over us, we are the ones who are
in the position of weakness, and shaytan is
not in the position of power. That is
why, brothers and sisters, we have to understand
that yes, anger is a
human emotion, but we have to channel that
the correct way.
Part of the dangers of anger,
besides the fact that it begins to control
the tongue, and the heart, and the actions,
there are many things that it can destroy
also. How often
someone in the heat of the moment, in
anger, they say something, and how many homes
have been destroyed because of this? In the
moment, because of their anger, and they have
no control over their anger, how many divorces
have happened? How many times?
How many times, wallahi,
I have lost count. How many women have
come to me? That how many husbands have
come to me? I have divorced my wife,
and But I was in a state of
anger. The first thing I have to tell
them is, and they usually say that, is
this counted or not?
Often, yes. It is counted. When a man
in that state of anger, when he divorces
his wife, it counts. Unless there is a
cert There's one Only one condition, only one
certain situation where the divorce will not count.
But often they come and they say, I
was angry. And I usually tell them, of
course you were angry. You're not going to
go and divorce your wife when everything is
dandy, when everything normal, when you're happy. Of
course you're going to divorce, or often people
do divorce their wives when they become angry.
And this is why This is, by the
way, this is a very common practice overseas.
This is
by the way, this is a very common
practice overseas.
This is a very common practice within our
Muslim community. We become so angry, especially when
it comes to spousal matters, when it comes
to the husband and wife matters. A matter
of that In that situation,
a person becomes angry, and they say something.
It does not matter how much you regret
it. You cannot take it back. That is
why, brothers and sisters, we have to be
very careful.
Anger can destroy
families. It can destroy relationships.
It can destroy things that we can never
ever recover from. So that is why it
is very, very important that especially in the
moments
and
While we know that there are so many
dangers of anger,
and now we understand that how anger can
control us,
and we understand that how anger can destroy,
and be a means of destruction.
The question is, how do we how do
we control our anger? And what can we
do
when anger overtakes us? The very first thing
that we have to do, brothers sisters, is
that we must say,
Why do I say
Because at that time, shaitan is overpowering us.
Shaitan is the one who's controlling us. We
are not in control at that time, but
rather shaitan is controlling us. And I must
say one thing added to this.
People may say that if I become angry,
that means that I'm now susceptible to shaitan.
No, brothers and sisters.
Allah
has created within us
the ability and the mechanism
to control our anger. We choose not to
control our anger. There's always a right way
to handle something, and there's a wrong way
to handle something. And this goes for everything
in life. Will Allahi take anything in life
and apply this one principle, and you will
learn that there's a right way to handle
it, and there's a wrong way to handle
it. So that is why, even when a
person is in is in a state of
anger, handle it the correct way. The first
thing is
There was a There were 2 people in
front of Rasulullah salallahu alaihi wa sallam. And
one of them And they both were cursing
each other. They both were saying things to
each other. And at that time, Rasulullah salallahu
alaihi wasallam, he said, while the prophet alaihi
wa sallam was sitting close, and he saw
that one of them, his face had turned
extremely red due to anger, the prophet alaihi
wa sallam says, I know of a statement.
I know of a statement that if he
says,
he will no longer feel this angry. When
the sahaba, they inquired that, what is that
statement?
He said that that statement is
So whenever we become angry next time, at
that same time we say,
Number 2 is,
it is the advice in the hadith of
that if a person is standing, the prophet
is telling them, sit down when you are
angry. Why do you think, Rasulullah
said, that when a man is standing,
or a woman is standing in that matter,
and they should sit down, because when you
are standing, you can go and take action
against someone. You can go and actually hurt
someone, but when you are sitting, your mobility
becomes
limited. That is why the prophet is telling
us, if you are standing,
then at that time you should sit down.
If you're sitting down, they should lie down.
And many ulama have even been asked that
what should a person do
if they are lying down and still doing
so much anger? They said, the ulama, they
said that at that time, go ahead and
leave the area. Leave their room at that
time. But do not, at the heat of
the moment,
in the heat of the moment, do not
do anything
or say anything
that can be a means of regret later
on. So that is why a person, if
you're standing, sit down. If you're sitting down,
lie down. If you're lying down, and still
you're in a state of anger, go for
a walk and leave the room. That is
the second advice.
The third advice is, do not say or
do anything.
Stay quiet at that moment. It is often
observed from rasulullah
that whenever he would become angry, at that
time he would control himself. Even we find
the story of Ummun Khattab
Whenever he would become angry, and he was
reminded
of the Qur'an, when Allah says,
that ignore the ignorant,
at that time he would become calm, and
he would not say anything. So that is
why number 3 is that we always try
to remain quiet and do not take any
action.
Number 4 is the person who you are
talking to, do not challenge them in any
way. Do not say do not do anything
to them, rather leave that area. It is
extremely important. And finally,
there's a a great scholar, he used to
say at the He used to say whenever
he would become angry, or when someone would
say anything to him or do anything to
him, He would say that, if what you
are saying about me is truly correct, then
may Allah
forgive me. And what you are saying about
me, and you're so angry, and you're saying
things about me. If it's not true, then
may Allah
forgive you. So rather than channeling
and bottling it up and so forth, make
du'a for the person. If a person is
angry, and you have I, you know very
well that they have absolutely no idea what
they're talking about, in that situation, make dua
for them. So this is the third thing.
So the very first thing is a correct
understanding about anger in our deen. Number 2
was the dangers of anger.
Then number 3 is how to prevent anger,
or when it happens, how to cure the
anger. And the last thing is, that what
are the rewards
of controlling the anger? The very first thing
is, the prophet
he says,
Mean that if you Like, don't get angry.
Meaning that once again, the prophet alaihi wasalam
is not telling us that we cannot get
angry. The prophet alaihi wasalam is telling us
that what usually comes after anger, do not
do that. And if a person can do
that, they will inshallah enter into jannah. This
is something that we also find in the
Quran, when Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala he says,
that hasten towards what?
Hasten and rush to the forgiveness of Allah
and jannah that has been created for those
who have taqwa. And then Allah describes
the characteristics.
He describes those who have taqwa. He says,
Those who spend in the times of ease
and in the times of difficulty. They give
sadaqa in both of those times, and the
second thing he says is,
Those who suppress their anger.
Because it's very easy to get angry, but
it's very difficult to suppress that anger. And
by the way,
does not only mean that you are still
angry, and your head is like a big
tomato. It's red like a tomato in a
big cherry. That's not what the prophet is
telling us, or the Quran is telling us.
The Quran is saying,
Meaning that you swallow your anger
in such a way that there is no
remnants of that anger on your face.
This is something that is extremely powerful, and
that is why this is not something that
most people
prophet
he also says in a hadith, the person
who is the most strongest person
is not that person who can carry a
lot of weight. I remember the other day
I was I was leaving the masjid, there
were some youngsters who were telling me, Sheikh,
do you know how much this young man
can bench? And he's such a strong person.
The person who benches the most is not
the strongest person. The the most strongest person
is that person who can control their anger
when the time comes. That is the most
strongest person,
as the prophet has taught us. Number 2,
another reward of controlling that anger is that
a person is considered from the slaves of
Allah
Think about a person who comes, and who's
extremely ignorant with you. And they're saying things
to you, at that time, either you can
lash back at that person, or you can
observe
the Qur'anic guidelines,
which is,
You ignore that person, and let them be
on their way. And you and you just
make salaam to them, and leave them. Allah
subhanahu wa ta'ala says that these are the
people who are from the slaves of Allah
subhanahu wa ta'ala.
And at the end of that passage,
Allah says,
Allah promises these people
at the end of the passage.
Also,
when a person is confronted
with some by someone,
and they are and they become angry, as
long as they don't respond to the other
person, the angels will keep on cursing that
person. The prophet
was once sinning with Ubaka
and some others, and a man came and
began to say some very vulgar things to
the prophet
And the prophet
he remained quiet, and this man kept on
going on. And Ubaka radiya allahu an is
sitting over there. He's getting extremely frustrated. But
what did he do? He also remained quiet.
Why? Because the prophet sallallahu alaihi wasalam is
also quiet. But after a while, Ubaka radhiallahu
an could no longer hold on, and he
became so angry, and he lashed back at
that person. He never said anything additional.
All that this person was saying to the
prophet alaihis salam, he said that, may Allah
do the same thing to you too. That's
all that Ubakar said. He never crossed any
limits, but the prophet shalallahu alaihi wa sallam,
he got up and he left. Later on,
he went back. He,
Ubaka went to the Prophet and said, You
Rasulullah, you just
got up very abruptly, and you left. And
he says, O Abu Bakr, As long as
this man was vulgar, and this man was
rude and disrespectful,
and yes, the common Or the reactionary,
the emotion would be is, a person would
get angry, and they would lash back. But
as long as I was quiet, the angels
were cursing this man on my behalf. But
the minute you interfered,
the angels, they left. So always remember, even
if someone comes and they act ignorant ignorantly
with us, or with anyone of you in
that situation,
just let them be on their way, and
just ignore them because Allah
will take care of them. And the last
thing I will share with you, and if
there's nothing that you take from this khutba,
just take this one sentence
from this entire khutba.
A moment of patience
at a moment of anger
can save
millions of moments of regret.
Keep that in mind.
A moment
of patience at a moment of anger
can save us from 1,000,000 of moments of
regret. I ask Allah
to make us from amongst those that even
if we become angry, we can channel our
anger in the correct
way.
Walamalamuttaqabbalahawat
is
Straighten lines, fill in the gaps.
Make sure the main hall is filled. Brothers
in the back two rooms, please make sure
you come inside the main hall. There's ample
amount of space inside the main hall.
Brothers in the back 2 rooms, please make
sure
if you're standing inside the back 2 rooms,
please make sure the rows are straight. Sisters,
please make sure the rows are straight. There
are no gaps in the middle.
I see there's also some space,
in the in the main hall. Brothers in
the back two rooms, please come inside, and
please make sure the rows are straight. Often
there's gaps in the middle
in the back 2 rooms.
So, we're gonna lines fill the gaps.
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