Hard Choices – Navigating Challenging Life Decisions

Salam alaykum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh

yeah Allah did you guys have dinner? Salaam Alaikum

Bismillah Alhamdulillah wa salatu salam ala Rasulillah Allah here after the Salah woman wala, buried Calgary, is it the temperature?

Allah who was done minus 40. Last night when I arrived here, there has to be some kind of fic ruling against traveling or if the temperature is like that so planula like seriously

Bismillah Alhamdulillah wa salatu salam ala Rasulillah alayhi salatu salam women were buried. Before I say anything, before I introduced the topic.

On a serious note, there is something on my chest, I need to just get off my chest. Okay. I need to let this burden that's been on me for many months,

and has everything to do with your community. And I know that doesn't sound good. As a mentioning that what is he going to tell us?

There is somebody that was a part of your community that I loved very much brother Abdullah Rahmatullah here I lay.

Hearing his death really, it felt like, I lost my own brother, while law he is very few people on this planet, who have passed away that I've known and I've interacted with, that touched my heart the way this brother touched me, and I only saw him a few times. And my last meeting with with him was that he

picked me up from the airport. And at that time, he just had a big, beautiful truck, a big blue one. And this thing was shining. So I said, you know, brother, Abdullah, what's going on here, Ma sha Allah. And he said that he just got this. And he goes, he just washed it before he got to the airport. So I said, you know, I'm all into cleaning cars and detailing. And he's like, he goes, I don't know. But I felt like I felt that with you. The last time I picked you up from the airport, we only talked about cars from the airport, to the hotel. And

ever since that time, I said to him, and this was the last thing that I had ever been able to see to him. I said, you know, brother, Abdullah, I'm going to tell the masjid that I only want you to pick me up. When I get to the airport. I just want to see your face there, with his smile and all of the warmth in his personality. So hearing of his passing, I just said to myself that before I come and I say anything to this community, I need to just get that off my chest and pray and make dua for him. And all of our loved ones who have passed away within the community, that may Allah subhanaw taala, reunite all of us with them in genital photocell Arla, I hope and I pray that I see brother Abdullah

and all of our loved ones again, if Nila heater Allah, Allah, I mean, on that note,

there is also something else that I I I've been told is something that not only this community, but pretty much communities all over the world are coping with. And that is, of course, particularly our young people on not only having suicidal thoughts, but even following through and committing suicide for whatever reasons. And let me just say a couple of things.

Number one, if you think that this is a problem that Muslims don't have to cope with, you need to wake up. Okay, if you think this is not something that Muslim communities around the world, particularly in this part of the world, that we don't have as an issue that happens within our communities that particularly amongst the younger adults, so when I say younger adults, we're talking about teenagers all the way up into their mid 30s. Statistically, I didn't know this. But just recently, I looked up a statistic in the United States that

of the top 12 reasons that people die in the United States alone. Number 11th was people, young people within the teenagers within their early teens. So we're talking about like 13 years old, all the way up to their mid 30s. That was number 11. So we're talking about like cancer, diabetes, and all of the other, you know, crimes, gunshots, all that number 11 was suicide. I just thought to myself, like that was mind blowing. I don't know what the stats are here. I just know that there is a pretty good chance that if I go to every community, across Canada, Muslim community, and we have this conversation about suicide and suicide in our community and people having

suicidal thoughts? There is a good chance do you agree with me on this? When I say this, there's a good chance that we will find people within that community who are on that path, thinking suicidal thoughts, and whatever's driven him to that point. So that's the first thing like, we have to get away from the idea thinking that this is a problem. It's not a big issue. Islam's got this covered, we have all the answers. The second thing is that resources Why is this happening?

years ago, before COVID, I counseled a sister who had suicidal thoughts. She came to the office and we sat and we talked, she did not say a single word. I think I spent like 45 minutes trying to get even Wiley como Salam out of her. She came in, she sat her parents brought her. They said, We can't understand what's wrong. You don't know how to talk to her, which he's not responding to us. He's not telling us anything. She just keeps saying to her parents, I don't want to be here. So they brought her to somebody like me who is completely not qualified in any way to handle situations like this. But how do you know? So fine. She sits down. They say salam or Aleikum toi, there's no

response. I try my best in 1000 different ways to try to get some response out of her. Absolutely nothing, not a hello, nothing's zero.

So I bring the parents back in and I said, I apologize. I don't know what else to do, you'll have to like go to a professional.

Three weeks later, three weeks later, she takes her life.

Until this day, I don't know why.

I don't know the reason just it came across the news. She took her own life.

And that is when I started to understand it Subhanallah This is a real problem. But there is a bright side. And the right side, I think it might surprise some of you. And for others it won't. The bright side on the subject is that and this is the third point is that there are students who have had suicidal thoughts that have been able to heal from them. And again, you tell me if you agree that

the vast majority of people who are able to overcome these thoughts are able to do this, because there are people in their life that support them that love them that look out for them that listen to them. I don't know, do you agree with that?

I've met people over the years, who have been able to heal because they're like, I just realized just how much my parents love me.

I realized that if I did something like that to myself, I have such a close bond with my sister, or my brothers, my siblings. I just couldn't do that to them. They loved me no matter what, no matter how I treated them.

And that filters in to our community. And this is why I see the onus is on us, the community. It's our it's part of our responsibility as we service the community and its needs, that when people need a shoulder to lean on, when people need to talk to somebody, we're supposed to be those people. And it's Subhanallah it is really, really an unfortunate culture, especially in this part of the world that it's not as common as we might think that when somebody who is foreign to us we don't know we've never met that we don't even exchange A salaam with that person and realize and then start to hear more about their story. What brought them to that community. You know, I put this to the test.

When I was a student in Medina. I sat I was able to get right behind the Imam. Right. I was a big fan of who they feel right. Some of you I'm sure not with who they face, right. So I wanted to see who they feel. And I want to just put it right behind us. I sat there for hours. This brother comes in. He was from Afghanistan. He had this big turban on and everything and he sat right beside me. And we both sat beside each other for about two hours before the event. So I'm learning Arabic. I'm like, has Beethoven had that parlimen RENAMO on there. So I see this brother, I'm like, let me just bust out some of my Arabic and practice a little bit. So I say salaam Wylie. Kolb and he responds

and he shakes my hand and I said, mean Aina and, you know, where are you from? And we start talking. He says, I'm from Afghanistan. And he asked me where I'm from. We just started talking. It was during the time when the Afghanistan war was happening. So when he like he said, on the stand, I said, Oh, Allah homestand

And Robina Yes, Sir Walter, I said, you know, I just said that, you know, may Allah make it easy for us and not difficult for us and he said Allahumma me and he said, one lie he. He says, I'm here today to make to

his wife and all of his children were killed that same morning in Afghanistan.

Is this like, no wonder the Prophet alayhi salat wa salam told us a few Salah like the icebreaker spread, salam, break the ice, and you never know what kind of conversation just it opens up right there before you are your eyes. So here you are, you're, you're sitting there learning your Arabic And this person just lost everybody in his life. So my message really here for myself and for all of us, is don't take for granted when you see or you meet somebody within your community, who you're not acquainted with or you don't know that if you practice and you strive to practice the sunnah of our Prophet it so it was me just say hello. say salam, ask somebody what their name is, you know,

those are the slight gestures that we show of kindness and care, that could literally change someone's entire day, and perhaps their entire life because you decided to talk to me when nobody else that they wanted to talk to me. You decided to say Salaam and shake my hand, because nobody else wanted to touch me. And nobody else felt like I was worthy of any attention. Just because you did that. No wonder our Prophet alayhi salatu salam told us to do that. May Allah give us strength? And may Allah make it easy for all of us to login. I mean, tonight's subject is called hard choices. It's a slams guide of how to make tough decisions in your life. And I don't have a list of those

decisions. Because there's too many. As individuals, we make tough decisions in life, about just everything about when to wake up what to do, what kind of jobs to have, what kind of careers career path, we want, the choice of friends. So friends, though, we want friends, the friends that we want to kick out and expelled from our lives. The choice of how to do that. How does the slum teach me to deal with hardships and disappointments? All of us have that as couples, husband and wife? tough choices? When do we start a family? when's the right time? When should we get married? If a marriage doesn't work out? When is how do we know that divorce is the right thing? And if we do, is this

going to be pleasing to Allah? Or did we fulfill the proper reasons? Just as we continue to age in life? What should I be thinking about? What should I busy my time with, and the list is literally endless. So the first thing that I want to say is that I've been thinking about this subject for quite some time, and it's for my own personal life, my own personal reasons. I have tough decisions in my life that I'm constantly thinking about, as we all do. What does the Koran teach us? What does the Sunnah teach us of how we can navigate tough decisions? So you'll notice that when you delve into the Koran, if you need to make a decision about marriage, for example, is she the right one or

not? Is he the right one or not? You know, it's still harder pops in Okay, that's one thing fine, but your gut feeling in you? Are there certain things that you need to do that you need to go through Islamically to figure out how to make that decision. You'll notice that in the Koran, it doesn't outline for you in detail. So that's the first thing. Don't think that every single subject that we have every thought on our mind, that we can just go to the Quran and Sunnah and we're going to find that subject right then and there and it's going to be ironed out beautifully. No. The first thing is that the Quran and Sunnah give us the principles to follow. So that's what I'm going to

share with you. principles that you and I follow to help us with any tough decision in life be a thing that he tried Is that okay?

So the time is now 810

I promise I will finish before Fajr it shall Allahu Taala

promise

I plan to speak for maybe 3035 minutes and then maybe for about 15 or 20 minutes if you have any questions we can entertain that is is that okay?

Or what do you guys work on till midnight or something? You know, speakers, we love the mic. It's hard for us to let go this weekend. Go on Mashallah. Tabata cola all night. Okay. So that's the idea. So just so you have that in the back of your mind. So, so where are we going to go to find these principles?

I person

I really like and I find it's, it's very fruitful to go to the story of Musa alayhis salam, my hotbed this morning was about a door of Musa alayhis salam. So I'm not going to repeat that. But I am going to go to a section that a lot of us are familiar with. And they are a set of a yet that really beautifully outlines that Musa alayhis salam is in a tough situation.

And he's got to make certain decisions. And these decisions are all for Allah subhanho wa Taala is pleasure. And he can't turn back on any of them. Once he commits himself to it, he wants to follow through it to the best of his ability and he wants to do a genuinely and sincerely. So how does he walk through and do this?

Do these heads sound familiar to you? Allah tells us in surah Taha Pilar rubbish Rashi Saudi.

We are certainly Emery wash Lulu Rocha determinately Sani EF Prabhu Kohli. What's next? What are on the was the Iran main athlete? Haroon athey who should do to be here yesterday. Well, actually Kofi Emery came set Bihar Kathira when Kodaka cathedra pause there. Okay, in Nikka. Quinta been able suitable, we'll pause there for a second. So this section of verses is what I want to share with you bathe, nila, he tarla. So let's let's begin.

Now before we go into the translation, we need to put some context here what's happened. Now Musa alayhis salam in Egypt, there are wanted posters all over. There is a campaign Musa is the most wanted person in all of Egypt. Because why? You all remember that story? Okay, where he saw two individuals that were getting into argument he intervened, he tried to stop it. He took out the life he punched somebody hit them, he struck them to a point where they literally dropped that. Some say it was one of the Egyptian guards. But the point is, it was somebody that was more associated with the party of Federation, whether it be a security a worker, what have you. But the point is now now

that's happened. The rumors eventually get out. And people eventually no and the here and it's confirmed, it's no longer rumor that Musa alayhis salam is the man responsible for taking the life of this person. So he leaves for some time. And as an as he's gone for some time, he gets a set of verses that are sent to him, it's revealed to him. The first of that is this, it hub, elf it around in the whole thought go to fit around, he is a tyrant. Now pause. fit around is the most powerful men in every aspect at that time, politically, socially, he has all the power, the wealth, the status, everything is literally at his hands. What is Musa Alehissalaam have?

Nothing.

He has no army. He has no status. He has no weapons, no ammunition, no army, nothing.

That feels like some of you, when it's time to make a decision.

There's no one to talk to. There's no one to turn to you, the people around you just may not understand your perspective, your feelings, your emotions, they probably won't get it. And this is usually the conflict that parents have with kids, especially the parents who grow up in a different place and a different time. And your children grew up in this culture in this time, there is often a conflict where you just can't get where your kids are coming from, how they see life, how they see relationships, how they see Islam, indeed, all of that. For a lot of the parents here and grandparents. You grew up that when your parents told you something to do Islamically you went to em

automatically into Samara Anna well, I'll talk to you here you a bit even if it's time if universe time to get married. They brought you a spouse and said look, this is a good person for you. Samara Anna Well, I'll tell her I know you got married to that person. That's your upbringing. But now when it comes time for your kids to get married, there's a whole intelligence report you have to go through there certain qualifications a resume, lots of criteria is involved lots of conversation. Mom, I need to get to know them. I need to talk to them. I need to need to know what their background is. What's their favorite foods, what they like to do for life, what's their hobbies

edited and edited and

and use a parent now

You're like, why don't you just trust Allah? I think just trust Allah make dua and make a start on hellos. Leave it at that what's wrong with you conflict and it's not just marriage, it's everything. Musa alayhis salam here, he has got nothing and Allah told him to go and confront the most powerful human being at that time.

What does he do? So all of you, including myself, any tough situation in your life, you've got to make decisions about you're standing literally alone. Now you've got to confront this situation. You know, buddy, fully, really understands what you're going through what you feel. You've got to deal with this. Now follow how Musa alayhis salam handles us, Allah tells him go to fit around. And in addition to that, it no Taha remember, Taka comes from rural toffee. Taka is like when you boil a pot of water and it starts to overflow, fed around past all of the limits the way he treated people and his expectations from His servants, his workers, all of them.

Musa alayhis salam now could easily say all luck could you bless me with an army? Could you give me some power? Could you give me like special powers give me like a special sword or something. What does he do?

Musa alayhis salam says called rubbish rally Saudi. Here's your first step towards making that good decision in sha Allah in tough times.

He asks Allah O Allah Ishwara holy solder is really difficult for me to translate Ishwara highly suddenly Ishwara in Shira health solder literally means to open the chest and to purify or to cleanse. Some translation. Translation is also say to calm the heart issue really suddenly is poor ends way of telling you when I to stay calm. Musa alayhis salam had to ask Allah for that. The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam got it without asking Allah misura lega Sadhak Allah immediately did not already open your chest and made you calm. So remember that insurer who sada is horrendous way to calm down. So the first thing is, yeah, I know it's emotional. It's difficult. You're alone.

You there's no one to talk to. You don't know how you're going to navigate that situation in front of you. Just relax.

By the way.

He says call a rugby shortly Saturday.

To stay calm, focused, civilized. That's not something you develop on your own.

You have to ask Allah for that.

You ever meet some Muslims that are so patient you? You you're tempted to ask? How come you're so calm?

What what do you eat? What do you do? Why are you so relaxed? There are some Muslims and all of our communities have them. Watch for them.

Nothing in this world bothers them. I'm not one of them, by the way. To me, right? Nothing in this world bothers them just COVID Whether the loss of life sickness, nothing.

They go to the doctor gets some bad news.

I

can't live here forever. So I just was like, Wait, is there do you have like, is there like mental issues? Like are you okay? She don't know what's wrong with them. Like how did they stay there? So, so calm. These are the people, oh, Allah. Shortly suddenly, just give me three calm. Give me wisdom. Give me knowledge, just relax. Musa alayhis salam has every reason to lose it at this point, every reason he has to go confront pharaon by himself. The man he knows wants to do just one thing with him to literally kill him assassinate him. He knows this.

But he says all I just call me down. Number two.

Well, you certainly Emery

he asks Allah to make this task easy for him. So number two,

is is never something that happens as a result of our efforts.

Another example is you go to the story of use of Harley who sent him when you Sephardi his salon was tempted by the wife of the ICS What did she said? What did she say to him? Pilate? Hey, Tallac she's like here hate Tilak everybody who knows Arabic knows what hate Talaq is right?

It's a way that basically she's saying, Look, I'm right here, do whatever you want. Do whatever you want. Right? Remember, this is the wife of the ICS. This is a wife of a politician, a leader, a Mr. Minister, a very powerful men use of it. He is Salam, as much as I hate to phrase it this way. He's not even considered like anything at that time. He's just a slave or a servant in the palace, like he's considered a nobody. So to have a woman of this distinct, prestigious honor, like its position, she's the wife of this powerful individual. So she herself is very powerful. She has status, wealth, honor, she's literally throwing herself at Yusuf Ali Salam. Just imagine a how the test you know

that the fitna that moment? What does he say to her? colonize Allah says, always a bit less. Get away from me.

In the whole rugby accent and mathway The point here is this. Yusuf Ali Salam was a only able to overcome and find the strength to deal with that test. By calling upon Allah to help him. He couldn't do it by himself.

None of us can overcome any trial or fitna or test no matter how minuscule it is, unless Allah subhanho wa Taala gives us the strength to overcome from the most miniscule things you see like haram. And you turn, don't think you did that because law men, I'm just you know, I can keep things under control. No. You have to ask Allah for that strength. Because there's going to come that moment where the temptation is so strong, the turning away is going to be almost impossible. You have to ask Allah Oh, Allah, you know, keep my eyes strong, turn me a key protect me and and so on and so forth. That's what Musa alayhis. Salam does, says, Okay, we are steadily Emery.

Here's the third point, do you notice that Musa alayhis salam now starts asking for specific things after he remains calm.

So you'll see like, Dr. Phil, and a lot of these experts talk about this all the time, that when you're relaxed, you're calm, you can start to focus. You can think in a you know, a rational way, you're not going to be hasty in your decisions. You're going to be able to focus and Subhanallah like people in this day and age, pay hundreds, maybe even 1000s of dollars to go and take courses and programs attend seminars of just how to stay relaxed, so they can be in the moment and concentrate. Musa alayhis salam is able to achieve all of that because the first thing before asking for anything. He just asked Allah to purify his heart, relax him and be calm. So don't get carried

away, don't get lost. This is also the sunnah of our messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam in every interaction he has every decision he has to make. He's always making dua to Allah. One very simple example is, think about all the battles that the Prophet alayhi salat wa salam is faced with from the battle of or hood to Lhasa to hunt up battle of bed or you name it, all of them. When all the companions are sleeping and resting during the night. The prophets highly sought was Salam is praying and making dua all throughout the night. And if you notice something really interesting that each and every day a battle was going on.

It starts always after fajr like that period, because that's the time of risk and Baraka. That's how the whole the Sydney of the whole world world how it works, right? We go to school when we go to school early in the morning, we go to work usually one early in the morning, the Sunnah, the whole planet runs this way. That's why the Prophet alayhi salat wa salam told us that Allah azza wa jal sends his risk, meaning his risk is increased even more so during the morning periods. That's why you start your day off with federal with prayer, because you want Allah subhanho wa Taala especially for that day in that moment to just provide for your take care of you. Keep you relaxed, keep you

focus, make the day easy for you. May Allah always make us people of Fajr Allah murmee ways Sidley Emery, wash LuLaRoe put the terminally sunny untie the knots of my tongue. This is the third thing he asks Allah for. Now, this area,

a lot of Muslims may just zoom over it. because there'll be like, Well, I don't have any problem with my tongue and speaking and communicating. So that doesn't apply to me.

No

even

If you don't have a stutter, even if you don't have a you don't have any struggle or any complications with your speech. That's not the point of the A.

He says why LuLaRoe put the term merely saying untie the knots on my tongue.

It's a phrase in the core en to describe that when I do speak, people will get me. Yes, a whole colony like that will understand what I'm saying. You don't have to have a stutter in your speech for people to get confused. You can be fluent and be like, bro, I don't know what you're saying. What are you talking about? I can't follow anything you're talking about like that. So why LuLaRoe CODATA. mainly sunny, is also addressing that as I am speaking, even in a spiritual sense, maybe physically, my tongue doesn't get tired. But spiritually, at least when I do speak, people will get what I'm saying.

That's also tough.

And this comes down to you now. So putting this into perspective in the topic.

You've got to talk to somebody and you need help in making a difficult decision.

So you need to be able to describe exactly how you feel and what you're going through to somebody else, whoever that somebody else is. You want to be able to be express how you feel, in a way that at least they can sympathize and understand and walk you through. That's what makes a good counselor right? 95% of counseling as well. It's just being able to listen to put together words and understand where that person is coming from 95% of the time. That's what you mentioned Sheoak doula. You see a lot of that for the most part, right? They just sit there, huh? SubhanAllah? Tell me more.

And they they know key phrases. Tell me more. On that point. How did that make you feel? And those are the triggers. Those are the things that can get now the person to continue to communicate unload. Musa alayhis salam doesn't care to speak to hit around. But he knows he's gonna have to go confront him. All he cares about is though when he does speak. Now, one of the things that you kind of gather when you study Musa alayhis, salaam story in all of the soldiers that are mentioned, you know this, there's something about his personality. He seems to be a really shy individual.

He seems to be really shy. Now, he seems to be the kind of person that's reserved to himself quite a bit. And he also seems like I think this is where at least myself I can relate a little bit to Musar Lazar seems to be like somebody that overthinks quite a bit. And what's going to happen? I don't know how I'm gonna handle this. So he keeps himself relaxed. And all he's concerned about is similar lmsc that Musa alayhis salam did have a stutter. Right. And it's based on a couple of narrations. But the point is that that's besides the point he just wants to get his story out, clearly, while you're civilly. Why don't you look at the terminal? He said he called Poli. Okay. If we pause there

that takes care of you.

Do we need support? In life? Do we always need support? Yeah, nobody can survive alone. Even if they say like, I don't need anybody, my life, they're lying to you. As a matter of fact, that could be like an emotional trauma and problem that they're experiencing right there. When somebody comes in tells you like, I don't need anybody in my life. I'm just fine. I like to go out alone. I like to be alone. My social life is alone. I don't do anything with anybody. Just understand those are red flags. It's also one of the things that you that we have to pay attention to, when we're talking to somebody that could potentially have suicidal thoughts as you pay attention to the signs. Usually

somebody that's isolated that doesn't want to interact with anybody, are usually red flags. These are some of the common traits. I'm not saying this is the same across the board. But there's some of the common traits that we find May Allah subhanaw taala make it easy for all of us? Yes, go who? Holy musante he said I'm need some help. So he asks Allah for help, which I leave with the ramen. Ali heard when he just, Oh Allah, could you also give me a Wizzy or some support from my family my brother has grown.

In our version of that is

I just need somebody I can call. I just need somebody to give me their opinion, because this is what I want to do. So part of Islam, what Islam helps us to, to also see when we're making difficult decisions. It's also important to get perspectives from others to ask others for their outlook or their opinion. What would you do in this situation? How would you approach it? Sure.

Y'all do this all the time, by the way, all the time. We always Imams. So we always talk to one another. Look, I got this topic look, I got this hadith look, I was studying this subject, what do you think about it? Do you think this is, you know, right for this community for this group for this as a course for this as a talk, and we do this all the time. And you'll be surprised. The vast majority of the time, we have to go back to our topics and kind of tweak and change and be like, Oh, wow, I didn't I didn't think about that. I didn't see that. You know what I'm really glad I talked to show you and scholars and Imams and so on. They do this all the time. So Musa alayhis salam asks

Allah for help. And he wants his brother there because in Surah

Al casas, he explains why.

And in certain classes, he tells Allah subhanho wa taala, that the reason why I want my brother is because he's more fluent. He's more eloquent in explaining, you know, anything, like I can just kind of rely on him to do most of the talking.

So this could be in a number a number of ways you can put it into context. Imagine Musa alayhis salam, he walks in, and this for me is really amazing. Because as his story starts to unfold, and he eventually confronts fit around, in I was trying to imagine, imagine Musallam going back to Egypt going back to the palace.

Wouldn't there be security everywhere, they that he would be the highest risk to any security all throughout Egypt, especially at the palace, his name and his face would be known to everyone. He still walks up to fit around. And Allah subhanaw taala gives him the path that he's able to walk through security. They don't stop him. They don't try to assassinate or kill him right then and there. Somehow Allah blesses him, that he is able to soften the hearts of these people that are out looking for him, that they allow him okay, yeah, you can go all you want to go by yourself, will you go? Let's see what happens. Somehow Allah gives him the path, and he's able to make it all the way

to the most powerful human being. At that time. How in the world was he able to do that? With nothing. This is what I will conclude with in sha Allah Huhtala.

Musa alayhis salam has Allah

has Allah in his life. If you don't have a lot in your life, the nothing in this world comes easy. The most simple and trivial things they will always be difficult. Nothing will make sense to you. You will never find perspective on why things happen the way they do. You don't mean times. It drove us nuts. How many times Imams that she you had to explain to people of why COVID happened?

Just why why would Allah send this to us? I lost the family. I lost it. Why is Allah doing this to us? I know, of course, there's many wisdom. You know, we have to go back study, refresh, understand, learn, and share that with the community. But it all boiled down to the same same principle.

Did you just you don't have that connection with Allah don't have that relationship with him. So Musa alayhis salam has that it's how he's able to do all of this. And where am I getting this one? It's not being pulled out of left field. Listen with our alleyways here. I mean, Ali Hapuna, Aki was due to be here as city What a *ty Kofi Emery. So give me the strength that, you know, we can share responsibility, give him some tasks, give me some time. So don't put all the burden on me. So that's where the support came in. Then it continues and it says Qeynos sub B hecka. cathedra. One of the Kodaka cathedra in Nikka. Quinta vunerable Sierra, there was one goal for Muscarella. He slept

throughout all of this.

This is the goal of navigating through tough decisions in life. The ultimate goal is not to find the right answer. It's to find the right answer that is pleasing to Allah.

And that answer that outcome is the outcome that brings you closer to him. You say that again?

If you're trying to figure out who to marry in your life, okay, all the single brothers and sisters, who am I supposed to marry? And let's just say there are candidates in your life, okay. You're trying to figure out who to marry. You do not marry someone because you

Want to have a best friend of your life? Because anybody who's married knows that your spouse is also going to be your nav at least once a week. Okay, so that best friend thing goes out of the window real fast, okay? And then you become best friends the following them. And then they become like, you know, you become the fifth around to her once in a while, like it's the it's just doesn't that's not the goal. But your goal is that I want to marry somebody

that Allah subhanho wa Taala is pleased with and that we can contribute to the OMA together in a way that Allah is pleased with. If that's the ultimate goal for marriage, by the way, you don't get disparages for each other you get married because of what you kind of service you can bring to the OMA that's why the Prophet alayhi salatu salam told us that when it came to having children, beshear to Allah to an F Pharaoh, like have lots of children right don't be stingy when it comes to having kids if ALLAH blessed you with gifts have as much as you can. If you're afraid that Allah azza wa jal you know if you're afraid that how am I going to provide where am I gonna get jobs are this and

economies this in a way in Cliff Doom eyelet island for sofa unique como la home in fugly? If you're afraid of being you know, poor or in poverty, just remember that as long as you stay close to Allah, Allah is the one that's taking care of you and your children anyway. Right? Allah is taking care of you. You're not able to provide for Chilean just because you go to work. Allah is the one that feels what comes on the other side of the equal sign. Your job is just to put the equation together, that's all. So Musa alayhis salam puts this equation of how to navigate tough moments, toughest decision of his life. But his ultimate goal is to do what, when as Kudo, caca Theertha Kane who set

the haka Kathira, one of Kodaka cathedra. That's what I'm going to leave you with.

If I were to summarize everything that I've said here is it's really simple.

Any decision you make in your life,

navigate it in a way that the ultimate outcome is always something that brings you closer to Allah. If it's that is not the outcome, then no, you still have work to do

anything. So whether it's even which subject which career choice, do it for the sake of Allah, whatever career choice I want to take, how is it that I'm going to serve Allah subhanho wa taala. And believe me, brothers and sisters, I don't have to tell you this. But just the way that life has been going for the last little while.

I don't know. Do you hear more about people?

Being diagnosed with sicknesses and just death in general? Are you hearing more and more of people just dying and getting sick?

Does that happen to you? Like you just every day almost you just somebody else passes away. Somebody else got diagnosed with something

could be one of us here too.

Those are not things that just happen because of life or time. It's all part of Allah subhanho tireless sadhana, of how fragile this world is. So the fact that we are still here, and Allah has still opened the doors of hire for all of us, nothing is worth it unless it has a less pleasure attached to it at the end. So I pray that Allah subhanho wa Taala help all of us that whatever decisions and tasks and struggles we have in our lives, that may Allah subhanho wa Taala allow all of that as a means for our for forgiveness from him for acceptance from him. And I pray that Allah subhanho wa Taala increases in higher and good deeds, whatever tough decisions we have in our lives,

that as we navigate through that it brings us closer to him. And each pain and struggle that we go through that remember the hadith of our Prophet alayhi salatu salam, the authentic hadith by Ebihara, about the Allahu and never does a Muslim, go through any pain or struggle or anxiety or anything, even if they are pricked with a thorn, even if they're stung by a twig or a thorn, except that the pain, the anxiety, the struggle that they go through, when they experienced that is a means of Allah subhanaw taala tireless forgiveness. This is authentic hadith in Bukhari and Muslim. So every ounce of struggle emotional pain, physical pain, spiritual pain, psychological mental what

Every day is May Allah subhana wa Tada always calls it a means for us to be purified. bring us closer to Him. May Allah subhana wa Taala bless our time. May Allah subhanho wa Taala forgiven honor all of our brothers and sisters, families and friends who have passed away. May Allah azza wa jal make their grave spacious for them, allow their grief to be a garden from the gardens of Jana and not a pit from the pits of the fire. May Allah subhanho wa Taala reunite us, with them with our friends and with our family in general shutter dose Hill Arella in a police that is pleasing to Him female common fi McCarty pseudocolor into miliki Moqtada in a place that is honorable, that is

beloved, that is truthful that is close to him, Subhana Allah to Allah, may Allah azza wa jal allow any sadness or pain that any one of us are experiencing and going through that it becomes a mean of strength, that it becomes a means that our Eman is increased, that it becomes a means and a lesson for us that inspires us that strengthen us that uplifts us makes us better people makes us better Muslims, may Allah subhanaw taala bless our time and allow us that when we leave this world and we return to Him that our final words are La ilaha illAllah Muhammadan rasul allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam Subhan are bigger or better is that your male cell phone was salam al Mursaleen? Well, hamdu

Lillahi Rabbil aalameen.

So brothers and sisters for the next maybe 15 minutes, so I'll go until nine o'clock. Is that okay?

Are you guys like your legs and backyard as you're getting them?

I'm in this nice comfy chair. And I can go on till 500 No problem. Does anybody have any questions?

Anything that they would like to ask? And it's a tough thing to do. You just you have to like speak out and ask and maybe there's some people that just they don't like doing that.

So if there's another way, I don't know if anybody writes anymore. So if you want to write something on a paper and have it set up, no problem.

But if you want to allocate allow somebody else to ask on your behalf, by all means you can do that. But if this is your time, if there's something that you'd like to ask, by all means failure to Fidel inshallah.

Or else it's going to be just echolocating mass. Okay, go ahead, brother.

radical Muslim. Oh, my question is, sometimes, when a constituent

it becomes really hard, you have two options, three options. And it's really hard to see. See the pros and cons. Because of how

to go through that, then you go on your Google let you talk to people, this is actually still enough. Like, I don't know anything about this option.

For corresponding point of view, how would you recommend doing? Okay, excellent.

Good, good. No problem. Wonderful question. So let me just repeat it.

So let's say you have to make a decision about something you have no knowledge of, you have no experience, no background Abell and you have a few options in front of you. And you don't know what's the right option. But you've got to make a decision. You have no experience, no education, no background Islamically What do you do in scenarios like this? And the answer to that is actually quite simple.

Our religion and the Prophet Alayhi Salatu was Salam gave us a number of tools that we can use. So some of them are like this. The Prophet alayhi salatu salam told us a very important hadith is Stephanie callback, asked her heart. So one thing that you can do, and it's not the only thing you do, but it's a tool is you ask your heart, based on your knowledge based on your Eman based on your relationship with Allah. What's the right thing to do here? What feels like the right thing to do here? Also, you have a prayer that unfortunately, it's almost become like he lost sooner witches, solitude istikhara. Do you know that the Prophet Arias Sato Salam taught the door of istikhara to

the Companions, the same way that he taught them? The Tasha hood, attached here to Lila he was solid, what flavor like that last door that we pray that we use before we complete our salah? That's pretty important. He taught them the door out of istikhara with the same level of importance as the tertiary level. You know why that's important to know.

Because it gives you an idea of how important istikhara was to him. salAllahu alayhi wasallam like he wanted them to have this just as much as they had the t shirt for their day.

In the Salawat so in essence what he's saying without actually verbalizing and singing is that I want you to use istikhara as much as possible, the same way that you use your Salah and your prayer your showed then so you have the istikhara ask Allah, trust in Allah do your part in making your do is take all of those right steps. Talking to people is also part of the Sunnah when the battle of Ohad happen, the machinery Kuhn had mobilized from Mecca to come to Medina, they are 3000. Plus, the Muslims are about 1000 Plus, that eventually got reduced to about 700. Right? The grandma nafig at that time went around, got 300 Plus companions to change their mind. So they're about 700 Muslims,

they're going to confront about 3000 of the machinery corn, you know what the Prophet alayhi salatu salam did, he went around and asked other companions, the senior as well as young people, so all leaders that pay attention, prophet Ali Solomon's son goes to the youth of the companions, the young people, says, What do you guys think we should do when the machine can come here? What do you think young people said, got a suit Allah, we should fight?

Shows you though, like they didn't even think you had her. So we're not counted a fight? That's it. Case closed. So Prophet ISIS, I said, Okay.

He then goes to the Senior Companions, the elders.

What do you guys think we should do? What do you think the elder said? Let's wait. Let's see if we can come to some kind of agreement. Let's sit down, let's send a messenger, maybe the discus ahead of time, let's try to avoid, they started to think a little bit more rational and a little bit more calm. So my point here is this.

All the steps that you do decide to take are not necessarily bad steps. With these principles in mind, whatever formula you use, and you make a decision that at the end of the day, I have A, B and C, I'm going to choose a have your trust in a lot and be confident. Be confident that you've done your part in the process and just leave the rest. This would be my best advice to you. And may Allah make it easy for you in all of us in sha Allah, Allah Khomeini.

Sisters, are there anything

on your side that you would like to ask?

Go ahead to Fidella?

Let's see the next day.

Good question.

Good question. So how do you know what are there any signs of your istikhara being accepted? What what is the authentic signs of our istikhara being accepted? Have you heard about some people they say if you see like, dreams of yours, you know, related to your istikhara so if you see him like Oh ALLAH is he the right husband for his see she the right way for me, then all of a sudden you see them with like, beautiful wings floating in your dream and they came right? You're like to your house or to your masjid or something, then you wake up the next day, and like, that's my sign. All of that is not authentic, there is no authenticity amongst them, that that is a sign. Because why?

Because now you're going into a whole different area of dream interpretation, which very few people on this planet understand. Right? So you don't want to get into that. Sometimes you might see something that is the complete opposite of what you think it is. So like, let's say you might see like a tiger coming in attacking you. You might be like, Oh, my God, I was horrific. And then you attack the tiger and you throw it off a cliff and a died. And you're like, Oh my God, I'm such a terrible person. There are 11 hours already give an interpretation of a tiger, one of the authentic interpretations is that it's someone FL.

So now all of a sudden, what you thought was like terrible. You just destroyed them on FM. Now, is that an actual person? Is that a statement? Is that what is that exactly? Again, you're going into a territory. Nobody really understands it's very selected few that are blessed with the knowledge of that. So don't go into that. Don't take your dreams and think that those are signs of istikhara. Because even if they might be you have no way of confirming that. Secondly, some of the mistakes that people make is that like, when a situation happens, that's like coincidence has happened. So like, you know, you go to the masjid and you're like, man, go back to the marriage thing because

it's the most common thing right? So you don't know if you know he or she's the right person. So you

You go for Jumar to your local Masjid. They don't usually pray there, but all of a sudden you see him come out or you see her come on here like y'all Rob Allah center at the masjid here for Juma so that I could see her confirmed Bismillah. That's why I'm married. Again, there's no way of validating. So what is the authentic way? Believe it or not, there is a concept in Islam that is called Pharaoh set. Pharaoh set is,

you know, when you have a good feeling a gut feeling that this is the right thing to do. That is the most genuine and authentic sign of a response to your istikhara. And the LMS say that it could happen the next day, or give it an odd number of days. So maybe three days, five days or so. Give it some time. And this is where it goes back to the same Hadith we quoted earlier stiff to call but ask your heart. So the Prophet alayhi salat wa salam says the Pharaoh set of a movement is the hack. So that gut feeling that you have that after you've exhausted and you've done all the right things. This is where my heart is inclined, this is where I feel like it's going to be the right decision.

The support is around me, my parents are on board. I feel good. We have a lot in

we have a lot incompatible, right? We're we're very compatible, we understand each other a lot of the signs are there Bismillah and make a decision that is your federal set and leave it at that and in sha Allah Who Tyler Allah knows best that is the only authentic response that we could sort of hold on to with respect to a response with the Sahara Allah knows best inshallah toilet Yes, go ahead.

Decision, that's the one. What's

very good. So what if you make a decision and it ends up being the wrong decision? You know, there's a saying amongst the retina that once you take the right steps, you leave your trust in Allah and you make a decision. There is no such thing as a quote unquote, wrong decision. Go back to the marriage example again. You make a decision that I don't want to marry this person, then you go off and you live your life and you get married to somebody else and so and so forth. Then later on as life goes on, you see him he became the Imam of the huddle.

He became like a real shake on a scholar or she became this very pious, respected woman, Masha, Allah Tabata Kala, meanwhile, in your house, now, you're late, you're dealing with a mini fit around, and you've got all the problems, you're like, Ah, I made that wrong decision. No, you took all the steps. What happens on the other side of the equal sign? That's a lust territory, what might seem as something bad or difficult or quote unquote, wrong in your eyes, may not necessarily be wrong in the sight of Allah. Allah may want to put you in a situation to test you why? Because you're so beloved to him. A lot. alumnae want you to you for you to go through that grind. Because

there's something greater or better awaiting you. You know, I'm really glad you asked this question, because I think all of us have a personal story that we can relate to this, where you made a decision. And you're like, Oh, my goodness, what in the world did I just do? Then as time went on? You were like, Alhamdulillah him and Allah did this for me. My story, my story that always pops to my mind when I get asked this question is, I want it to be a paramedic before going to Medina. And I got accepted to the program. And I studied it for the first year. And I loved it, and loved seeing people hurt and helping them and go and going, Wait, oh, wait, it was like, blood scene and you're,

you're the first one there. It never bothered me, believe it or not one of the first things they showed us in class day one first class is to showed you a two and a half hour,

two and a half hour clip, right? Several clips of just pure blood.

And if you could sit through it, you were most more than likely going to survive the rest of the semester. Like 80% of the students never showed up after that class. And that's how they would like Okay, now this is good for you. Point is then eventually somehow you know, Allah shifted my life. And I went to Medina and you don't I think there you know, you know what Medina life was like, right? It's not easy man. It's shocking to read and I we can sit here all day and tell you about life and media. You see the results Alhamdulillah you know, we learn Islam. We go there we study Alhamdulillah but

The grind, if I tell you if this makes sense to you,

being a student was the best worst years of my life.

Right? And if you just take a minute to try to understand where I'm coming from, it's the best worst years of my life. I am emotionally, you know, blessed have the memories of the thing. Subhanallah guys, I'm born in Medina. So I'm born in Medina, I went back to study in Medina. And I also have pain and scars of Medina of life as a student that I don't think will nothing in this world will heal.

But if you're asked me, So how do you feel about that decision? All I can say to you is that Hamdulillah I am so grateful to Allah, that I went through there. What seemed to me was like, my god, what am I doing here? Why did a go to Medina left off an amazing job and I was studying my career I got into my path. And here I am now sitting in a middle of a desert alone studying for 10 years by myself. All I can say is now I can say Alhamdulillah Allah allowed me now and honored me to go around the world and see people like you that I probably would never see any other way to come into a community and talk to other Muslims and fellow brothers and sisters. I probably will never

ever meet my entire life. So to answer your question, I just want you to look at it from a different lens. That it may not necessarily be the wrong thing. But the wisdom as to what might appear wrong may actually be a good thing that you will see later on in your life in shallow terror Allah, Allah I just will say to you to trust the moment for what it is.

I'll take one last question guys. Football Go ahead. If you don't mind there's a sister publicist.

Oh, okay.

So talk about music.

So do you guys want to do that? It's a good question sister asked the general ruling on music

is it any type of music?

See a lot of Arabs hear a lot of Arabic music. I don't know what you should

look they're really mad differ on this. Okay. There is very strong opinions that are LML hold anybody who goes if you can go online and just look up ruling on music, you will find all these two categories of some of them will imagine that No, they did not allow all music. But there were certain elements of music they didn't see a major problem with then the vast majority till this day the classical as well as many modern day scholars still view music as something completely haram. If you ask me my personal humble opinion, I believe that music is something that if the prophet ie salat wa salam heard it he would be displeased with it. But for me to say somebody to somebody that

listens to an instrumental song or initiate or so if the classify that as music or any other English type song that doesn't have any bad lyrics, like somebody's just singing about the beautiful tree in front of their house and you're just the whole song is about this beautiful tree. It doesn't really have a major impact on their E men. They're still very devoted Muslims can I say ugly or sister you're doing something sinful in the sight of Allah it is haram that's also very difficult for me to say why because they're really mad don't don't have a unanimous consensus on them. So that's all I can say to you. Again, if you ask me I it's one of the scenarios that I personally always like to

stick with the majority on the vast majority of their demand make it haram it should be for obvious reasons as well. Does everybody understand what is the problem with music at the end of the day?

What do you guys think is the problem with music I'm interested

those who say that it is haram Why do you think they say It's haram?

Why do some of you look at me like

you understand? You understand what to say? Right? Go ahead. You're gonna say something

a higher effect on

drugs. Okay. So the the psychological effects Sure, okay.

Okay, so you get addicted very you get attached to music very I 100% agree with that. Anything else sisters? Why do you think those who say it's hard on why do you think they have a problem with that? Yep.

Do it

origin have some some types of music as well? Sure. Look, keep it very simple. Music always aims to go here.

That's very risky. I'm not saying it's a terrible thing, again, some people have the ability, they can control what goes here. It's not a door that I would open to just anyone you will never hear me sit in front of a youth group and say to them, yeah, okay, you know, little bit of you know, this person or that person or that type of song you can get by, I probably stick with the more strict opinion. But the point here is, music has a way of settling here, where 1012 1520 years go by, and you happen to hear a song from like, 20 years ago, and you just have to hear it once. And you can sing back all the lyrics, literally almost 100%

I find that really powerful. I don't know anything else on this planet that does that. Were just think about it. Those of you who listen to music back in your early days, okay? Anybody who grows up in this part of the world, you probably want to including myself, right? Teenager, whatever, like 112 years ago when I was like 15, right?

So there were certain songs I would listen to and I would hear and then for 20 years, you go to Medina, Ma sha Allah, I don't think that stuff got vacuumed out of our hearts. We went back to the grocery store at like 14 O's one day. And all of a sudden, you know, Biggie Smalls starts playing in the mic for some of our new speakers, right? And you're just like, yeah, Allah how powerful this is. It brings back the entire song all over again. That is why for myself I personally I'm very uncomfortable with it and a highly would discourage it. But for me to say that it's haram across the board. They are intimate don't even do that. So I will leave you with that inshallah. Okay, guys,

it's just after nine. So I will leave you to it. I think this is usually the time that

you end off the the evening halacha Seido. I want to be respectful of the time as well. So just like Molo, Hiren for the sisters. I think we have an appointment tomorrow and shout Allahu Taala so I will see you all then tomorrow. And just like Malachite, I guess I will see all of you on the Winter Symposium on the following day. What's that I'm already Kumar who to look at