Channel: Musleh Khan
10 Signs Your Marriage is in Trouble – #2 Treating your Family Different Than Others
Shaykh Musleh discusses the double-standard of treatment between those inside the home vs. outside the home.
Salam Alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh brothers and sisters, your marriage is in trouble if number two,
the treatment that you receive at home is completely the opposite of the treatment you give to others outside the home. So we're talking about this double standard with respect to how you treat your family to those outside the house. Now, this is important because all we need to do is discuss one hadith of our Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam where he says hi eurocom hydrocone Alley, and in another rewire or narration criado come clear complete. The prophets I seldom once told his companions that the best of you are those who are the best to their family. And then he continues and he says to them what enter hi eurocom Leah Holly, and I, meaning me the Prophet sallallahu
alayhi wa sallam, I am the best to my family. What does that mean? Now this is a hadith I think a lot of people have not done a very good job, at least in explaining the intent behind this Hadeeth and how it's relevant to you and I in this day and age, considering the complexity of the problems that are happening in relationships today. Here's the prophesize seven, he's saying to his companions, I'm the best to my family, and I treat them better than I treat all of you. Now to put that into perspective. Honestly speaking, this is the prophesy centum saying to his companions, you Abubakar, you are a member of the hot tub. You must Abner made you so so all of you, companions, I
treat you well. But you guys don't get the treatment that I give my family, they get the best of me. So you get good treatment, but my family gets the best. Now just think about it. Think about how that image looks and think about reality. today. Here are some of the problems with how we treat our families, you'll find that a husband, he'll have his wife waiting in the car in the middle of the winter time because he wants to go and ask a question to the shape. So he has you're sitting there with no heat, nothing and all the kids are screaming and crying. It's late at night. And he says to her No, no, no, you just wait because I need to talk to so and so. I need to go out with my buddies.
I'm going to come home later after a show. He sits in the masjid for two, three hours. And what are they doing? They're just talking about nothing. He comes home, she asks him, Look, you're late. I want to spend some time with you, the kids were asking for you. And he says no, no, no, no, I was at domestic Leave me alone. That's not the Islamic treatment. That's not the proper etiquette, especially with your wife. And sometimes it's reversed, where the wife will say look, I want to be with my friends, I want to go out and do my thing. I want to have my time alone. And if she's having a bad day and she unloads her stress and her problems to him, then we all know what what happens, it
turns into a huge fight. All of this could be avoided with one principle, change your attitude with respect to your family. These are the people you wake up with you go to sleep with you eat with you spend the most time with these individuals. And the process, Selim had to emphasize this principle to his companions, because quite honestly, the most difficult people at the same time for you to get along with is going to be your family. If you can get along with your family. By default, Allah as the widow will give you the strength to get along with everyone outside of your home. It's just natural, it's impossible that it won't work. So here's what you need to do. You need to stop for a
moment and really think about what your attitude is at home. So regardless of whatever stress you deal with outside of your home, what are you bringing back inside your home? So you could have a rough day at work. But when you see your husband or you see your wife and you see your children, are you going to unload all of that stress and all of those problems to them. What did they do? They don't deserve to be treated that way. This is your family at the end of the day. And Allah subhanho wa Taala gave us the husbands and the wives the responsibility to look after our family and give them the rights and to be gentle with them. That's your responsibility. There is an a statement of
automotive no hubbub of the law one where his wife described him as a lion outside the house, but he was like a gentle kitten inside the home. So he knew how to separate those two attitudes or personalities about him. He needed to be strong he needed to be the breadwinner. He needed to be the protector when he was outside his home. But when he came home, he needed to be gentle.
calm, relaxed patient, control his anger when he was dealing with his family. That's the kind of example that we need. Now, I admit this is not easy because at the end of the day stress is real problems are real and things can get to us. This is where you need to develop some sense of control and to really understand how you can separate the two and not unload your stress to your family. They don't deserve that. If this is happening to you right now every single day all the time. then realize that this is a sign that your marriage is definitely in trouble and it needs to be addressed in need to go and seek help find a counselor, any man even professional help in some extreme cases,
and inshallah hoteller have this addressed as soon as possible. May Allah Subhana Allah Allah bless you all and make your marriages easy with said Mr. De Kumara to Lahore Qatar