The Magical Bond of Marriage

Muiz Bukhary


Channel: Muiz Bukhary

File Size: 27.17MB

Share Page

Episode Notes

Day 2 of the Maldives lecture tour -winds of change- by Sheikh Muiz Bukhary on the 19th of June 2014 at Masjid-u-noor, Male’, Maldives.


WARNING!!! AI generated text may display inaccurate or offensive information that doesn’t represent Muslim Central's views. Therefore, no part of this transcript may be copied or referenced or transmitted in any way whatsoever.

AI Generated Summary ©

The conversation covers the struggles of Islam, including the "beings of Islam" and "beings of Islam" that have been advertised. The speakers emphasize the importance of avoiding negative experiences and staying true to one's love. They also discuss the cycle between Nevada and Russia, where marriage is considered a transitory solution, and the importance of sh matter and investing in the future. The segment concludes with a discussion of the importance of being patient and not yelling at one another, and the importance of finding time to spend with loved ones and not just for personal reasons.

Transcript ©

00:00:07--> 00:00:09

Assalamu alaykum warahmatullahi wabarakatu

00:00:14--> 00:00:18

shadow for the purposes of Baraka reflection we'll start off with a recitation from

00:00:24--> 00:00:30

Bismillah AR na. He

00:00:31--> 00:00:33

alone knows

00:00:35--> 00:00:41

he was on methadone uno de cammish te

00:00:42--> 00:00:43


00:00:46--> 00:00:48

Misbah Rosie

00:00:55--> 00:00:55


00:00:57--> 00:01:03

don't really ponder you can do

00:01:09--> 00:01:09


00:01:11--> 00:01:12


00:01:14--> 00:01:17

z to 19 shall

00:01:22--> 00:01:23


00:01:25--> 00:01:29

a UB

00:01:32--> 00:01:33


00:01:34--> 00:01:36

no una

00:01:40--> 00:01:45

de Nino de me

00:01:48--> 00:01:50

while dream law

00:01:55--> 00:01:57

has long been

00:01:59--> 00:02:02

in any

00:02:03--> 00:02:05

field in

00:02:06--> 00:02:07


00:02:10--> 00:02:11

he has

00:02:13--> 00:02:14


00:02:17--> 00:02:17


00:02:19--> 00:02:19


00:02:23--> 00:02:25

saw Ninja

00:02:27--> 00:02:27


00:02:29--> 00:02:32

e m t Jara.

00:02:39--> 00:02:40

The krill

00:02:43--> 00:02:45

oil it for

00:02:54--> 00:02:55


00:03:00--> 00:03:01


00:03:11--> 00:03:12

well long

00:03:23--> 00:03:53

al hamdu Lillahi Rabbil alameen wa salatu wa salam O Allah ashrafi lamea evil mousseline. Nabina Habibi, Nava, karate ru Nina Mohammed bin Abdullah, Allahu Allah Allah He was happy he of de la sala de watamu tasleem about for in stock Alhaji Chiquita law maharal howdy howdy Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was Sharon Amorim of this to her wakulla this MB the wakulla VEDA it in Walla Walla, Walla, Walla, Latina.

00:03:55--> 00:04:17

As always, we begin by praising Allah subhana wa Taala, who is our Creator, sustain, nourish, protector and cure. May the choices of his blessings and salutations be upon our beloved Master Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, his family members, his companions and all those who tread upon his path with utmost sincerity until the day of tm.

00:04:20--> 00:04:21

O slaves of Allah.

00:04:22--> 00:04:51

I advise myself Firstly, and then all of you all to thank Allah subhanho wa Taala for the numerous bounties and favors that are lost behind him. $1 has conferred upon us the boundaries of philosophy behind them who are so numerous that if any one of us were to try and count these blessings of Allah subhanho wa Taala we would fail miserably. We would fail miserably because we are valuing in an ocean of the mercy of Allah Subhana Houma dialer

00:04:52--> 00:05:00

I thank Allah behind the hula dialer for this beautiful opportunity that he has blessed me to be amazing.

00:05:00--> 00:05:40

all of y'all in this beautiful country of the Maldives, I thank Allah subhanho wa Taala and in accordance to the words of my beloved prophet muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam who is reported to have said that the one who does not thank people he has not thanked Allah subhana wa Taala so I thank the organizers of this event and I also pray the lost behind them what Allah bless them in this world and the asherah immensely, and I also pray to Allah subhanho wa Taala that Allah the Almighty makes this gathering, a gathering where the melodica shroud us with their wings, the Sakina tranquility of Allah subhanho wa Taala descends upon us and the Rafah philosophy behind him with

00:05:40--> 00:06:03

Allah envelops us and may He the almighty make high mention of us in the seven heavens? And may Allah behind them with Allah give us more and more opportunities to meet one another in sessions of this nature, and may He the almighty make us benefit and make these gatherings a source of benefit for us in this world, as well as the Ashura I mean,

00:06:05--> 00:06:36

the topic for today's talk inshallah Allah is the magical bond of marriage. We were talking about the blessings of Allah subhanho wa Taala. So many blessings and from these great blessings, my dear respected elders, brothers and sisters in Islam, is this blessing of nikka Allahu Akbar, our powerful maker, he says in the Noble Quran, why mean i a genie and Kala Kala

00:06:37--> 00:06:44

mean, forsaken nazwa Janita. skou la

00:06:45--> 00:06:49

Lita spoon Oh la Ha.

00:07:03--> 00:07:05

Follow me.

00:07:09--> 00:07:39

Allah subhanho wa Taala he says, woman iottie it is from the signs of Allah subhanho wa Taala. It is from His Signs his ayah and Haleakala, kuhlmann and fusi come as wotja that he has created for y'all from amongst your as wotja partners, spouses mates, for what reason? Li netus kuno la ha, so that your may find tranquility by them. Allahu Akbar, wa Jalla

00:07:41--> 00:08:30

wa and Allah subhanho wa Taala he has placed between your Maota and Rama. We'll discuss these two terminologies as we go inshallah tada in the feeder Lika, la la comida karoon. Indeed, in all of these, in all of these are Signs for the nation that can think that can ponder Allah, Allah. So Allah subhana wa dialler him saying that these are from the signs of Allah behind him that Allah indicates that these are all the blessings of Allah Subhana Allah, for Allah, the Almighty if he had wanted, he could have created us in such a manner that we would have no need towards a mate towards a partner, Allah the Almighty could have created us in a way that we could have, we would have

00:08:30--> 00:09:23

reproduced individually, like some organisms, some bacteria, some Amoeba do, but on the other hand, Allah subhanho wa Taala out of his infinite wisdom, and out of his infinite mercy, He created us in such a manner that we are in need towards a partner of a cabal. You look at the animal kingdom, you look at the humans, you look at the Jena, they are all created in pairs. This is from the blessing of Allah subhanho wa Taala Nika is indeed a great blessing from Allah subhanho wa Taala. Look at our father, Adam Allahu Salatu, salam, Allah the Almighty created him, and it was as if Adam either you still have to Assam was not fully complete in Jenna without his spouse, or until Allah subhanho wa

00:09:23--> 00:09:38

Taala created, however, our mother Hawa alayhi salatu salam for other Maliki salatu salam for him to it was as easy for him to even enjoy gender completely. He needed his partner beside him Allahu Akbar.

00:09:40--> 00:09:59

So my dear respected elders, brothers and sisters in Islam, marriage is a magical bond that has been sealed off in the heavens, it was decreed long time back. And who was the matchmaker? The matchmaker was none other than our powerful maker a long as a virgin

00:10:00--> 00:10:00


00:10:01--> 00:10:59

And we also have to understand that nica is in a bad marriage isn't very bad. This beautiful bond of Nika is in a bada in the sight of Allah subhanho wa Taala. Heidi is in mustard rock of Imam Hakeem Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam is reported to have said, Man rasika hula whom Ratan salejaw. As for the individual who have lost behind him with Allah blesses him with pious, righteous woman as a wife for cada Anna who Allah shutaura Dini, Allah subhanho wa Taala has helped him in regard to half of his Deen Allahu Akbar. With nica, half of your deen is secured. And what about the other half full yet? Allah Hafiz Chaparral bathy let him adopt taqwa. Let him fear Allah subhanho wa Taala

00:10:59--> 00:11:12

and let him be conscious of Allah behind him who had Allah for the remaining half. And in regard to this hadith emammal Alberni Rahim Allah He has brought it in his book as the head with the rape and he has said in regard to the headache that it is.

00:11:14--> 00:11:32

Now in regard to the explanation of this Hadith, scholars say that a pious wife, a pious wife, will help you secure half of your deen by you entering into a beautiful bond of nica, a pious wife will help you secure half of your deen

00:11:34--> 00:12:09

and for the she will help you secure half of your deen and she will also help you secure the other half by helping you to bring taqwa. For if you are out of the bounds of marriage say you are not marry. The devil plays with you in such a way that there are more chances that you may fall into Xena May Allah subhana wa Taala save us all. Because in regard to Xena, we know how severe the prohibition of Allah subhanho wa Taala is Allah the Almighty He says in the normal for an Takara bozena.

00:12:11--> 00:12:12


00:12:14--> 00:12:14


00:12:18--> 00:12:39

savina Allah subhanho wa Taala a powerful maker, he did not say in the normal Koran do not commit Zina directly. Ne Raja look at the usage of the words he the Almighty He has decreed, while Torah bozena do not even think of getting close to Xena even

00:12:41--> 00:13:19

leave alone, the act of fornication, the act of adultery, don't even think of getting close to Xena scholars of Tafseer. They mentioned that whatever little little sins that gradually bring you close to Zina, even those sins you must stay away from and there are also some things that are you know, a bit gray, you really can't place your finger on it. You really can't say it is haram. This afternoon I delivered a talk in one of the schools I even mentioned it there. Say for example, Facebook, being on Facebook. Now if you want to ask a scholar

00:13:21--> 00:14:06

Can you give us a direct verdict whether Facebook is halal or haram? It's a bit difficult to give you a direct verdict, whether it is halal or haram because it can be used for good purposes. If your intentions are proper, you can use Facebook for good purposes. If you're using it to promote the deen of Allah subhanho wa Taala you will indeed be rewarded by Allah subhanho wa Taala but say if your intentions are bad, the hydrometer Allah save us all. say if your intentions are perhaps to meet somebody from the opposite gender, which is haram. Now you are opening an avenue to words Xena and that is what was behind and whether Allah prohibits in the Noble Quran, what are the horrible

00:14:06--> 00:14:50

Zina if that is your intention if you feel weak, if you feel that the minute you log on to Facebook, you are gradually headed towards Xena shaitan is playing with your mind you want to keep in touch with the opposite gender you want to like her or his posts, pictures, comment and try to build a relationship a haram illicit relationship, then completely stay away, deactivate your Facebook account. But on the other hand, if you are using Facebook, Twitter or any of these social media platforms to promote the deen of Allah subhanho wa Taala or perhaps you're doing it to advertise your business something that is holler then there is no issue.

00:14:52--> 00:14:59

So a lot of Rosina, do not even think of getting close to Xena and by entering into a halaal bond of nica.

00:15:00--> 00:15:15

You save yourself from Xena May Allah subhanho wa Taala save us all from Xena. And that pious woman, that wife of yours will help you secure the other half which is taqwa. Now, let me tell you a story.

00:15:16--> 00:15:21

This story is mentioned in the books of tarrif. It is about one of our Salah funa soil.

00:15:23--> 00:15:25

His name was Tabby

00:15:26--> 00:16:00

his name was savvy. He was a student of knowledge. He was a student of knowledge and unlike our times in those days students of knowledge they had to travel from city to city meeting scholar after scholar obtaining knowledge today Masha Allah, Allah the Almighty has facilitated things so much for us, we can seek knowledge from the, from the comfort of our own rooms in our own homes of Accra. But in those days, they had to travel from city to city and generally those students of knowledge they had no proper source of income.

00:16:01--> 00:16:13

You understand they had to travel from city to city. So this student, he was traveling from city to city of seeking knowledge. Now, one day he was very, very hungry. Like I said, they are generally not very

00:16:15--> 00:16:32

well off financially. So he was very hungry, and he was passing by an orchard. And he saw this overhanging branch which was hanging out of the orchard, and there was a juicy red apple hanging. Now he hunger pangs of hunger.

00:16:34--> 00:16:45

He looked at the apple hunger clouded His judgment, even though he was a student of knowledge. He was so hungry, he plucked the apple. Without hesitating, he sat down and he started eating the apple.

00:16:46--> 00:16:57

Halfway through the apple, his hunger was saturated a bit and now his mind is clearing. He realizes Allahu Akbar, I have committed a sin.

00:16:59--> 00:17:11

I have committed a sin. without the permission of the owner of this orchard, I plucked an apple and an eating of it. It is haram upon me. Look at his taco.

00:17:12--> 00:17:57

Today at times we don't even bother where our wealth is coming from. Whether it is interest, whether it is an interest based transaction, whether it is halal or haram, we don't care as long as the money comes. But look at him because of the taqwa because of the fear of Allah subhanho wa Taala because of the consciousness of Allah subhanahu wa taala. Even that half Apple was troubling him now. And then he decides, I have to go and make this Hello. I have to go and make this halal for me. So he asked around, he finds out that the owner of the particular orchard lived somewhere in another locality. He travels all the way to that locality. He goes to that man's house, and he knocks on the

00:17:57--> 00:18:29

door. The owner of the orchard opens the door. Yes. What is it? He says, Uncle I'm so and so. This is what happened. And the student of knowledge. I was very, very hungry. He tells the whole story. This man looks at him and frowns. So what do you want? The boy says I want you to please grant me permission and make it hard for me. He says No, I will not. I will settle this with you on the day of piano. I will not make it hard for you. The boy is upset.

00:18:30--> 00:19:13

He's upset. He just sits down there. The man's dashes the dough and he goes inside. The boy sits there and he waits. This was after Sala Cobo Hall if I'm not mistaken, he waits until salata the answer by the doorstep of the man. The man comes out to go to the message, he opens the door. He sees the boy seated there yet. He asked him What do you want? Boy, why are you seated here? The boy says, uncle, I'm ready to do anything that you say, to make this apple halaal I don't even mind working as a gardener in your garden or as a security for your garden just make it hard for me. Because I don't I don't care about paying for it in this world. I don't want to pay for it in the

00:19:13--> 00:19:15

fire of Johanna. Allah.

00:19:17--> 00:19:19

Then the man says, Okay.

00:19:20--> 00:19:24

So you're ready to do anything? I'm ready to do anything.

00:19:25--> 00:19:26

Okay, I want you to marry my daughter.

00:19:29--> 00:19:31

I want you to marry my daughter.

00:19:33--> 00:19:34

The boy was a bit shocked.

00:19:36--> 00:19:54

Marriage, it's a good thing and all that so he's not really tough. So no strings attached. No, this is what what was going on in his mind. So he said he was thinking perhaps he had to perhaps, you know, be a farmer for about 10 years or five years or something like that. A marriage proposal. So he said, Okay, I'm ready.

00:19:56--> 00:19:59

But then the man says, but there's a small catch. My daughter

00:20:00--> 00:20:01

She is blind.

00:20:02--> 00:20:03


00:20:04--> 00:20:07

my daughter, she's dumb, she's mute, she can't talk.

00:20:09--> 00:20:11

My daughter, she's deaf, she can't hear

00:20:13--> 00:20:16

my daughter. She's disabled, she can't walk.

00:20:18--> 00:20:33

Now, the boy was devastated. He's a student of knowledge was looking forward to a good marriage. Now, if he were to enter into this marriage, he would have to shoulder the responsibility of looking after a patient.

00:20:34--> 00:20:39

He will not be able to pursue in his career, he will not be able to seek knowledge.

00:20:40--> 00:20:55

It will be a burden. But then at the back of his mind, he thinks if that is the price I have to pay to make this halaal for me, so be it come what may I accept? He says, Okay, fine. That's not a problem. I'm ready. I'm ready.

00:20:56--> 00:21:46

Then the man says okay, fine, good. Mashallah. This is the date it was in one week's time. You come to my house, I know you're not financially well off. So we'll talk about all of the, you know, the contract details when you come. The boy goes one week flies and unlike other grooms when the day nears, His heart is becoming heavier and heavier or the groom's are waiting for to get married. But now he is dreading the day as it gets closer. The day dawns. he drags himself with heavy steps to the man's house, he knocks the door. The man welcomes him in his to be son in law. He welcomes him in the marriage is done. And the man says you can enter the room of your bride

00:21:49--> 00:22:26

or the groom grooms would be excited at this moment. This boy his, his heart is so heavy, he's like running away. But then this is the price to pay to make it halaal. So be it. He goes and enters the room. He enters the room. He looks at the girl, the site that greeted him, Allahu Akbar, it shocked him. She was a beautiful girl with long black hair cascading no deformation at all. eyes were bright and beautiful. No disability is nothing. He was thinking how I come into the wrong room perhaps.

00:22:28--> 00:22:36

Then the girl she recognizes the shock in his face. And then she said, she says, I think I know why you are so surprised.

00:22:37--> 00:22:54

Then he says, Yes. Because your father he gave me a completely different picture about you. Then the girl asks him, so what did my father tell you about me? He said that he said that you are blind. He said that you're dumb. You're mute. He said that you're deaf. He said that you're disabled.

00:22:55--> 00:23:49

She said what law he My father has spoken the truth. He said that I am blind because my eyes have not witnessed anything that is haraam. He said that I am dumb. A mute because I have never ever spoken an evil word. I have never ever uttered anything that would displease my maker. He said I'm deaf because I've never ever listened to any evil speech, beat gossip, beat music beat anything Haram, my ears appear from all of that. He said I'm disabled. Because I've never walked towards anything haram or walk to perpetrate any sin. Allahu Akbar. My father was looking high and low for a groom to suit me. And then you came about and he was blown away. He was impressed by your taqwa that

00:23:49--> 00:23:53

you are willing to do anything to make that half Apple halaal

00:23:54--> 00:24:40

and that is why he decided that you are the suitable spouse for me and now we are in this bond of nikka. Madeira respected elders brothers and sisters in Islam. I mentioned this story this is a story from our Salah from the soil a pious predecessors. This nikka was founded on what not on money not on some transaction not that I'm getting a BMW or not that I'm getting a house here or there on toccoa and you know, through that relationship, the child that was born to those two fortunate parents was none other than the great scholar who filled the earth with his knowledge and Mr. Abu hanifa

00:24:41--> 00:24:44

Norman even a habit rahima Hola.

00:24:50--> 00:25:00

So my dear respected elders, brothers and sisters in Islam, it is important. The primary ingredient for a successful marriage is nothing other than taqwa. You will

00:25:00--> 00:25:04

In Dakota, your whole life is going to be successful.

00:25:06--> 00:25:12

you adopt a life of taqwa you will attain success in this world as well as the hereafter.

00:25:13--> 00:25:19

But sadly, many of us today we haven't fully understood the concept of nica.

00:25:20--> 00:25:43

We haven't fully understood what Nika is all about. And that is why we enter into the bond of Nika. And we don't know how to secure the bond of nica. We for petty small issues, we tend to throw the bond of nica out of the window by resorting to divorce me, Alice behind them with Dinah, save us all.

00:25:46--> 00:26:17

All of us want to secure our marriages, all of us want to be the best of husbands. All of us want to do that. If you go to talk to the sisters, they want to be the best of wives. But how do we do that? We need to deny lessons from the best of mankind from the best role model from the best husband ever from the best teacher, our beloved master Mohammed salovaara alayhi wa sallam, and please remember Salawat whenever I mentioned his beautiful name,

00:26:19--> 00:26:41

he did his entire movie and even imagine I shadowed the a long line Ha. She says that he said a long while ago seldom is reported to have said, hydrocodone. hydrocodone Li, Li well, Anna hydrocone Lee, aka Macaulay salatu salam Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam is reported to have said that the best from amongst y'all

00:26:42--> 00:26:56

is the best is the one who is best to words his family. And I am the best from amongst y'all towards my own family, he was the best husband ever.

00:26:57--> 00:27:26

So it is upon us to derive lessons from his life and apply it into our lives if we wish to secure our marriages. So, this evening, let us look at a few solutions towards securing the magical bond of marriage. Because shavon is all out to break beautiful bonds of marriage. chiffon just loves to do it had this is a Muslim.

00:27:27--> 00:27:51

The Hadith goes along the lines of these words where shaitan has put up his throne on water. And he sends out his armies to cause mischief and corruption on the face of this earth. He sends out his armies and every day he listens to their reports what they have to say, each of these armies they come back and they say you know we did this we did that he listens. Okay, okay, okay.

00:27:52--> 00:28:24

Until finally one of them comes and says, I saw two individuals, husband and wife. The narration goes along the lines of these words, I did not leave them until I drove a wedge in between them until I separated them. He happily looks at him and says you are the one. He praises that devil and he says you are the one you have done the best hunting season Muslim. Why many respected elders, brothers and sisters in Islam, because nikka this bond of marriage, it is the

00:28:25--> 00:28:48

foundation, it is the institution towards a great society. broken homes lead to broken children who in return make up a broken society. But on the other hand, a good bond of marriage will result in a good home, resulting in good children who will become the leaders of tomorrow.

00:28:49--> 00:28:53

So shaitan knows that shaytan is clever. shaitaan is cunning.

00:28:55--> 00:29:29

He is our sworn enemy. And he is not hasty. He uses different strategies to break us. So it is upon us to be two times cleverer than him and we need to identify his traps and not fall into his traps. So let us move on to the few solutions that I wish to share with y'all. Number one, be happy with the decree of Allah subhanho wa Taala See, sadly, many of us we find it difficult to accept our lives because we are not happy with Allah subhanho wa Taala has decreed for us. Let me ask you a question.

00:29:31--> 00:29:50

See some of us look at our collections. Some of us are very fair. Some of us are brown some of the dark. This is where Allah Almighty has decreed for us. Now can any one of us get up in the morning and go to the mirror and say you know what, I'm too white. I want to scratch my face away. We do we do that?

00:29:52--> 00:29:59

No, we are happy with what Allah subhanahu wa taala has decreed for us because that cannot be changed. We don't have a choice in regard to it.

00:30:00--> 00:30:23

Likewise everything in our lives, Allah subhanho wa Taala he has already decreed it and it is upon us to accept the decree of Allah subhana wa Taala because after all this life that amongst behind and what Allah has given us is a very very short life can any one of us you and I can we guarantee that we will leave this message?

00:30:26--> 00:30:28

What is the time now okay, but perhaps it's 845

00:30:30--> 00:30:34

if it's a 37 if

00:30:35--> 00:30:45

molecule mouth if I lost behind him what Allah has decreed that this individual is to pass away at sharp nine o'clock pm

00:30:46--> 00:30:49

Can you or can I stop molecule mouth from coming?

00:30:53--> 00:31:08

When he listened to us, will we be even will a second be given to us in extra? If it's nine o'clock it's going to be on the dot molekule mouth will be there the question that you and I we need to ask ourselves, are we ready to meet Allah Subhana?

00:31:10--> 00:31:11

Are we ready to meet our maker

00:31:12--> 00:31:17

for there is no delaying medical mouth he will come at the appointed time.

00:31:19--> 00:31:30

It is a very short life that are lost behind him what Allah has blessed us with and there is no point in latching ourselves to this worldly life, because it's going to go like this.

00:31:32--> 00:31:49

Maybe you're 20 years of age 4060 the max they will live these days is 67 it flies like this. And then we are moving from this temporary world, the perpetual eternal life that Allah subhana wa Taala has kept in store for us. So do you think

00:31:50--> 00:31:57

what is worthwhile investing in this life or investing for the era that is going to be eternal and permanent?

00:31:58--> 00:32:40

It is upon us to make proper investments for the era where we will enjoy eternally, forever and ever. So number one, be happy with the decree of Allah subhanho wa Taala keeping in mind that even the pleasures of these during this dunya they are also short lived, the hardships and the trials of this dunya are also short lived. Nothing is permanent, everything Everything is transitory and temporary. This is solution number one, solution number two, in regard to the cycle between Nevada and Russia, and this is why I did not translate these two words at the beginning when I recited the ayah Allah subhana wa Taala he says Allah baina Kumar that omarama if we're talking about two

00:32:40--> 00:33:16

spouses in a marriage, Allah subhanho wa Taala has placed in between them MOA da and Rama, Allah has placed these two elements in a marriage. Now what is more than what is Rama they are not the same thing. Maota can be translated as compassionate love, compassionate love. Rama on the other hand, I think all of you will know that his mercy. So why has a vast behind at work eila in his infinite wisdom use these two words, scholars of the past year they mentioned that in a marriage, what happens is

00:33:18--> 00:34:01

normally say at the outset of a marriage at the very inception or the beginning of a marriage, everything is rosy, everything is rosy. There is so much of bubbly, hot, young love and perhaps the husband is doing wonderful things for the wife and the wife is doing exactly the same thing to the husband everything is nice. Oh and then we'll touch on honeymoons also. And then they go on a honeymoon and everything is so nice. But then if you want to take it down the line four or five years later on, say one or two pregnancies later, or perhaps after a few arguments which is which are generally inevitable in a in a relationship. What happens is perhaps the levels of love may drop

00:34:01--> 00:34:01

a bit.

00:34:03--> 00:34:30

Now does that mean Oh the love the levels of love have dropped now let me just chuck the marriage out of the out of the window. Let me resort to divorce. Is that the solution? No. Allah subhanho wa Taala he brings about a cycle. The minute the levels of love start depleting. Mercy has to come in place and recharge the levels of love 100% again,

00:34:31--> 00:34:59

save the levers of love start dropping. The husband has to look at the wife. Oh, she is the one who bought me so many children. She went through so many pregnancies with all of these hardships. She is the one who washes my clothes, cooks food for me. looks after my house, cleans my house. Even though all of these things are not her responsibilities. We need to put a maid and get it done. But then she doesn't

00:35:00--> 00:35:48

out of her own good nature. This is my wife. She's the mother of my children. The rough man needs to come in and charge the levels of love 100% again, the wife needs look at the husband every single day he goes out. He's the breadwinner. He slaves from morning to evening. Earning for us for the family, paying for the children's tuition, school fees. He He places food on the table. He goes through so much of hardships. For what for our family, he travels all over the world for the sake of business for what to provide for us. This has to come in and recharge the levels of love back again 100% This is why Allah subhanho wa Taala has brought in wa Jalla baina Kumar that don't worry ma the

00:35:48--> 00:36:04

scholars of the faasil they mentioned so from this rough ma the cycle between mama and rock mama dear respected elders, brothers and sisters in Islam is that we need to constantly re assure our spouses in regard to love.

00:36:05--> 00:36:44

You see, we men, Allah subhanho wa Taala has created us we are logical creations of Allah subhanho wa Taala whilst Allah subhanho wa Taala has created women as emotional creations of Allah subhanho wa Taala. If you were to take a problem, for instance, we men, we want to break down the problem then and they are put everything on the table discuss it like how men do. This is what we do, because we think logically, but on the other hand, women they take the more emotional side, let me explain. Like in regard to our train of thoughts, the way we think we men

00:36:45--> 00:37:34

is if say, for example, we have a problem at work, we have a problem if we face a problem at work. When we come home, it is very easy for us to shut the problem out of the door and enter home with a completely happy face. We can do that. It's called compartmentalizing, we can push that thought into one room in our brains and shut it and focus on something else. say we have a problem at home. May Allah save us we can go to work and act normal we can be normal with our friends. That is how Allah Subhana Allah has created us men. And likewise, there is a downside to it too. We cannot multitask. We cannot multitask. We want to focus on one thing, get it done, move to the other thing. That's how

00:37:34--> 00:38:18

we work. Let me give you an example. If you had work, can you type a document on word or pages? whilst you are working on a spreadsheet on Excel or numbers? whilst you're responding to your customers emails, and also watching a video on YouTube and posting statuses on Facebook? Is it possible? Can we men do it? Maybe with the new range of Samsung galaxies and all that they have the multitasking window may be possible. But in general women we can't do it. But look at women, Allah subhanahu wa tada has created them in such a way that they can multitask. Let me give you an example. In the morning, you're getting ready for work, your wife,

00:38:20--> 00:38:33

your wife, she will prepare breakfast for you. She will prepare the breakfast for the children. She will get the children ready for school, whilst also thinking about the marketing list.

00:38:34--> 00:38:48

She will also help you get ready by perhaps giving your clothes and in your clothes, keeping your shoes doing all of that sending the the child to school sending you off to work whilst already she would have halfway cooked lunch also.

00:38:49--> 00:39:12

You see they can multitask. This is how women think. So likewise, when we come to problems now we can't multitask. So if a an issue breaks up an argument in general say whatever the argument may be, we want to sort out that argument and finish it off then and there. But women from one argument they'll jump to another argument and then another argument and we'll be wondering from where is all of this coming from.

00:39:13--> 00:39:15

And remember women never forget anything.

00:39:17--> 00:39:46

Women they never forget anything. Good memories martial. I'm praising them. They never forget anything. So they will jump from point A to point B to point C you will be flabbergasted. We wonder from where is all of this coming from. But this is how Allah subhanho wa Taala has created men and women and it is upon us to identify how women think and behave accordingly if we wish to secure our marriages.

00:39:48--> 00:39:59

The next solution many respected elders, brothers and sisters in Islam is in regard to gestures of love. We have verbal gestures of love and physical gestures of love.

00:40:00--> 00:40:25

Because sometimes these things start to lack in a relationship resulting in the relationship becoming stale in the love becoming stale in the levels of love dropping, perhaps the minute we do these things, and these are from the Sunnah of Rasulullah sallallahu, alayhi wasallam. Once we start doing it, it's it adds a bit of spice into the relationship and it spices up the marriage. Mashallah.

00:40:26--> 00:40:37

So from these verbal gestures of love and romance, you should reassure your spouses by saying, by professing your love, often

00:40:39--> 00:40:50

at the very inception of the marriage, there's always I love us going back and forth. But gradually as it starts getting stale, I love you is completely forgotten. I'm just asking you When was the last time you told your wife I love you.

00:40:51--> 00:41:23

It gradually becomes stale. I love you, whether it be in any language, it never goes out of style. And the minute you say that, you see her blushing read, even now even tonight, if you were to go and try to just say I love you, she's going to blush read, it works wonders. So it is upon us to verbally profess our love and our care for our wives. And also it is upon us to address them using sweet names. See at times, I don't know how it's here, but in our country, they address using pronouns

00:41:24--> 00:42:13

like he or she in our language, okay, they will never address directly he went she went that's how they address their spouses. But look at the Sunnah of Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam used to address our beloved mother eyeshadow de la Mancha, Yahoo. Mayra he used to address her Yeah, from a rock. Now familiar was not her name. Her name was Aisha Ravana. But he used to very fondly and very lovingly at her address her as Yahoo. Myra Humira means Oh, Rosy cheeked one Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, the greatest prophet ever, with all of his responsibilities with all of his duties. At times we say we are busy. We don't have time.

00:42:13--> 00:42:14

Are you a prophet?

00:42:17--> 00:42:18

Are you busier than the Prophet also?

00:42:19--> 00:43:03

Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam had time to be intimate with his beloved whites. He used to call eye shadow the long line Hi, yah hoo. Mayra. Oh, Rosy cheeked one. So what is stopping us from calling our wives honey, sweetheart, cupcake, sugar, all of these words, it spices the relationship. It is from the Sunnah of Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, when you look at where Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam used to call his wife using affectionate names. Likewise, we should also address our spouses using affection at names it works wonders, Masha, Allah, and also from verbal gestures, we should compliment them at the very inception. Oh, you're wearing a nice dress today.

00:43:03--> 00:43:45

Gradually as it goes, Yeah, it's nice. It's nice. It becomes that don't care attitude, the beginning when she cooks a nice dish for you. It's superb. But then gradually over the salt is not enough. This is not enough. There's always finding faults, that also results in a downside in a relationship. So we should always compliment them for the dress that they wear for the food that they make us for different things, we should compliment our spouses because that also secures a beautiful marriage. And also we should appreciate whatever they do for us, at times we go out of the way to appreciate what strangers do for us. But then we forget the spouse who is by aside whatever

00:43:45--> 00:44:08

i'm saying is also applicable to the sisters if they are listening. It has to work. Marriage is a two way street. It is not a one way street, you give and you take that's how it works. Marriage is a two way street. You have to give if you wish to take that's how it works. So we should also appreciate now from the physical gestures of love and romance, the occasional gifts.

00:44:09--> 00:44:12

don't restrict gifts to Valentine's Day.

00:44:13--> 00:44:40

birthdays, because primarily scholars are unanimous in regard to Valentine's Day that it is not upon us to celebrate Valentine's Day. It is from pagan cultures in regard to birthdays. It is not upon us to celebrate anyone's birthday. It is not upon us to celebrate anyone's birthday because birthdays are not from Islam. It is not from the Sunnah of our beloved prophet muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam

00:44:41--> 00:44:59

but rather the occasional gifts there is no harm anytime just randomly you can take a gift and go even tonight perhaps you could buy something and go for your spouse's because her This is her This is in front of a mammal Bukhari rahima hula hula is that along while he was enemies reporter said to her though to have

00:45:01--> 00:45:19

give gifts to one another. The levels of love will increase you will start loving one another. It's not only applicable for spouses even between friends if you give gifts to one another, the love between you will increase words of Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. emammal Alberni Rahim Allah has classified as Hassan.

00:45:20--> 00:46:03

Also from the physical gestures of love, that you make time for one another. Like I said, Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam he made time. Why can't we make time, we should make time for one another quality time, we need to spend quality time with one another. Because women they want as much as emotional security as they can get. A survey was done 90% of women in that survey, they opted for a secure relationship with a poor man who is ready to spend more time with them over an insecure relationship with a rich man who is not going to spend time with them.

00:46:05--> 00:46:42

doesn't count. Wealth is not what counts. They want you to spend time with them. So it is upon us to make time. This is always perhaps hanging out with your friends or you're at work, you finish work and you come perhaps you're headed to the gym or you're hanging out with your friends. You don't make time for your spouse that's going to result in negative effects in your relationship. May Allah subhanho wa Taala save us oil. Can I ask all of you a question? When was the last time or have you ever rested on the lap of your spouse? Have you ever placed your head on the lap of your spouse?

00:46:43--> 00:46:49

Or when was the last time that you placed your head on the lap of your spouse? How this is in Bukhari?

00:46:50--> 00:47:09

Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam used to recline on the lap of our beloved mother eyeshadow de la Juana, even in the state when she used to be menstruating even when she was in her menses Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam used to lie down on her lap of

00:47:10--> 00:47:50

the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam would also recite Quran while reclining on the lap of eyeshadow, the avant look at the teachings of Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, look at the quality time he spent with his wives. These are all beautiful teachings from our beloved master sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, another beautiful physical gesture from the life of Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam Hadith is in Muslim under the chapter kita will hype. eyeshadow the long line how she says that Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam the narration goes along the lines of these words. Whenever she used to take a cup of drink whatever it may be water when he when she used

00:47:50--> 00:48:04

to drink Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam used to take the cup from her after she drank search for where her lips had been placed on the cup and then place his lips are the same place and drink from them.

00:48:06--> 00:48:07

Have you done this.

00:48:09--> 00:48:22

And also, when she used to eat meat, save a chicken or whatever it may be. He used to realize she was eating halfway he will take that piece from her and buy it from the same place that she had been from. Look at the love.

00:48:24--> 00:48:34

These are lessons that we need to learn. This builds love between the two spouses. This is our master so long island was the best of husbands.

00:48:36--> 00:49:03

Because my dear respected elders, brothers and sisters in Islam, actions speak louder than words. And remember, the beautiful moments of today are the beautiful memories of tomorrow. The beautiful moments of today are the beautiful memories of tomorrow Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam many narrations where he used to kiss his wife of a time there are some of us who have they don't know when was the last time they kiss their wives.

00:49:05--> 00:49:09

Whenever he used to leave home, he used to kiss his wife.

00:49:11--> 00:49:19

Even there is a narration where a supervisor Allahu Allah wa sallam used to kiss his wives even while he was fasting. Just to show his love.

00:49:21--> 00:49:35

And then from the physical gestures also is to dress up for your spouse's. At the very beginning of our marriage. Everybody is pre man, you know, smart, but then gradually as it goes, Oh my god, you can't look at them.

00:49:36--> 00:49:55

That's not the way even a bus rodeo long line. He says, as my wife adorns herself for me. I don't myself for her. At times we have bought Belize and we have not taken a shower and all of these things but we expect our wives to be like actresses. But what about us

00:49:57--> 00:49:59

we need to adorn ourselves.

00:50:00--> 00:50:06

Just as how they adorn themselves for us so that we can also look handsome look appealing to them.

00:50:08--> 00:50:48

This is also something that secures a beautiful relationship. And in regard to recreational activities with your spouses Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, we all of us, I'm sure are aware of the narration where he used to race. He used to find time to race with his wife, there's a narration where he challenged eyeshadow, the Longhorn Ha. And the first time I saw the long line how one because that was when she was young, and she was 13 at that time, and the second time, the supervisor Allahu alayhi wa sallam was waiting for the opportunity. After some time, he challenged her again. And he won the second time, because she had put on some weight.

00:50:49--> 00:50:58

So salicylate Islam was observing that okay, this time, I will beat her. And then he challenged her and there was a race Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam,

00:51:00--> 00:51:14

the prophet to the entire mankind and Gene guide, with all of his responsibilities with all of what he did. He was a military leader. He was a prophet, he was a teacher, he was all of that and he had time to be the best husband. Hello.

00:51:16--> 00:51:55

My dear respected elders, brothers and sisters in Islam, marriage is not only love, please don't be fooled by that. Marriage is not only love because there are some people who think that marriage is only love, and they enter the relationship. And the minute the labors of love drop, they are disappointed. Remember that marriage is a lifelong relationship that entails love, care, mercy, compromise, understanding, adjustments, consideration, all of this is applicable in terms of marriage, we need to be able to make a little adjustment, we need to be able to

00:51:56--> 00:52:04

be understanding in regard to our spouses, all of this summed up is what brings about a beautiful marriage.

00:52:06--> 00:52:14

I wrap off the talk by touching on one more final topic, and that is, in regard to communication between two spouses.

00:52:16--> 00:52:30

In regard to the communication, at times, there's just silence between the two spouses, or even if there is communication, they don't know how to communicate. Like I said, in the beginning, arguments are inevitable.

00:52:31--> 00:52:39

married people in the crowd will affirm or attest to that. arguments are inevitable, and at times, tiny things,

00:52:40--> 00:52:48

blow out of proportion, and become a big issue. Thunderstorms, a boon in teacups,

00:52:49--> 00:53:20

tiny issues? or Why did you keep the tower like that? Just something that at the wrong moment might trigger a huge argument. So we have to remember that if ever an argument comes up one of the two parties, one of the two spouses have to become if you think that your wife is angry at this moment, it is upon you to be calm at that moment. If you are angry, it is upon your spouse, your wife, the sister, she has to understand that she better be calm at this moment. If both start yelling at one another.

00:53:21--> 00:53:22

The house may

00:53:24--> 00:53:50

go up in flames. So it is upon us to be very careful in our communication. And also don't ever hesitate to say sorry, even if you are right, because the minute you say sorry, is a magical word. The minute you say sorry, it patches up everything but spouses find it very difficult to get down from their high horse and apologize to say sorry, and that is what results at times in into spouses growing,

00:53:52--> 00:53:54

distancing themselves from one another.

00:53:56--> 00:53:57

There was once a lady

00:53:59--> 00:54:18

who had a husband, who had a very hot temper. She had a very hot temper. He used to flare up for every little thing. And he used to bark at her shout at her scold her, but she loved him a lot. This is a story which has a moral to it. And that's why I'm telling you.

00:54:19--> 00:54:38

So she loved him but he used to find fault with her get angry all the time. back at him. She was finding life very difficult, but she loved him sincerely. And she wanted him to love her the same way. But she was finding very difficult because arguments everyday arguments Fighting, fighting, fighting, fighting, because

00:54:39--> 00:54:59

naturally severe fights, you know, add to the stress of relationship, you know, gradually it might break. So she was worried about that. And she found out that there is this lady who practices magic. who practices magic. She goes to that lady and she tells her I want a love

00:55:00--> 00:55:13

You know enough potion. I want you to make a love potion where I'll put it into the food of my husband, the minute he eats it. He'll be madly in love with me. And then there will be no more arguments. I want to solve the issue. quick shortcut.

00:55:14--> 00:55:43

This lady who was an old lady, she told her, okay, fine, but you know, this love potion is a very difficult potion to make. I need to prove it. I need very special ingredients. I will find the other Herbes and all of that stuff. But there is one main ingredient which the wife say in a relationship, if you want your husband to love you, if you want the love potion, you must go and get that ingredient. What is that? Three whiskers from a tiger.

00:55:46--> 00:55:48

Three whiskers from a tiger.

00:55:49--> 00:55:57

And she told this lady, there is a tiger in this jungle. You get the whiskers and come I'll make you the potion and I'll give you and your husband will be madly in love.

00:55:59--> 00:56:25

Now this lady was at a loss. How am I to get three whiskers from a tiger. The Tiger might eat me alive. She goes home and she contemplate things. How am I to do it? And then she's like, Okay, let me at least go and see this tiger. The next day morning, she gets up she readies herself when she's about to leave home. When she's about to leave home. She's petrified she gives up the idea I cannot do it. I cannot go and meet a tiger and she leaves the idea.

00:56:27--> 00:57:09

Making herself strong. It took about a month or two when finally she decided okay, I'm going to go to the jungle And see what this Tiger is all about. And she goes to the jungle. She goes through the jungle by the cave where the tiger was. And then she's at the entrance of the cave, the tiger rose, and she runs away she runs. And now this took about another few months for her to get used to that. And gradually she started feeding food to the tiger throwing the foot. And after about a year or two she tamed she tame the tiger to such an extent that she could go close to the tiger and give the foot as you're gradually taming the tiger slowly, slowly, slowly, until it became so much to the

00:57:09--> 00:57:48

extent that now she could pack the tiger, she could pack the tiger and feed the foot to the tank. But now still she's scared to pluck the whiskers because it'll hurt the tiger and she's worried that the tiger might do something if that's the case. So she still waited, patiently petting the tiger until one fine day, she plucked up her courage and she plucked the whiskers and that not all at not all at once. One whisker a day. One day, she plucked all three whiskers of the tiger. And then she very proudly takes it to this lady and she says I've got your ingredient after so much of hardship. Now make me the potion and give me the old lady says

00:57:50--> 00:58:01

you tamed a wild tiger and got three whiskers. I don't think it's difficult for you to now go and tame your angry husband.

00:58:04--> 00:58:13

So no abortion involves just patience and being quiet in terms of arguments you will be able to tame your husband.

00:58:14--> 00:58:52

This is actually for the sisters. But anyway, like I said marriage is a two way street. And it's also applicable for us to the when we are in an argument Be quiet. Don't go to say anything you say something that's where things are blown out of proportion and always resort to apologizing. It makes things a whole lot easier. So with that we conclude today's talk. I wish to thank all of y'all for making time and coming here does Allah Hi, may Allah subhanho wa Taala reward all of you all may Allah Almighty reward all of us and may forgive all of our sins and May he accept our good deeds. And may He the almighty unite us in the gardens of Jenna just as how he united us here tonight with

00:58:52--> 00:59:12

our beloved prophet muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, whatever correct said was from Allah subhanho wa Taala the perfect and if there was anything wrong in what I said it is from me and from shaitan and I seek Allah subhanho wa Taala is forgiveness in regard to that. So behind Allah He will be hungry he's behind a lot more behind the shadow Allah Allah Allah and West Africa to be Lake de como la

00:59:13--> 00:59:15

wa Salaam Alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh