Sex, Sexuality and Gender #01

out of the building industry terminology Miss Wheeler Manor Rahim Al hamdu Lillahi Rabbil Alameen wa Salatu was Salam ala Shafi go to settings at Nam hamdulillah Edie your subdomain. I would like brothers to set up Malik and Morocco but to go to

hamdulillah always and we will begin by praising and thanking Allah, Allah to Allah, Allah, Allah Allah, we testify and be witness of these unworthy of worship besides Allah subhanaw taala. And we send our loving greetings salutations, wherever it may be Muhammad sallallahu alayhi salam, to spice up your family to his companions and all those who follow his sunnah until the end of time. Allah bless us to live the life of nearly Mohamed Salah Lemonis life and to be in his companionship in the era. Meanwhile, hamdulillah Al Hamdulillah, we continue with youth month. So last week began topic pertaining to the youth. And we asked our young people and you can decide if you're a young person

to email, whichever topics that you want discussed a Joomla. And really, they will set the agenda. And one of the topics that have I been inundated with, and I've few people have even visited me in the last couple of weeks, is the issue of homosexuality, the LGBTQI movement, transgender movement. And so this is an issue we need to talk about. And it's a very sensitive, sensitive issue. And so we ask Allah for guidance and the weekend it's done not to offend and hurt anyone, and not to discriminate against anyone, but to discuss as Muslims, how do we understand it? How do we exist in a world where we have friends and neighbors that would have a different persuasion than us What is

Islam its position, and we need to discuss this. If you're not this is not discussed in the masjid. We are we going to get our guidance from and so inshallah we'll ask Allah for guidance and assistance, it will take a week or two or three to go through the specific issue. And it's one of these issues that is at the forefront of what we know what we are facing with currently. Before I get into the details of of sex and sexuality, sexual orientation and gender, what it means to be a man what it means to be a woman, I asked myself, Why is this topic so difficult to discuss? If I gave a good book on adultery, cheating on your wife, no drama around it, even I will say it's bad

and it's wrong and we shouldn't do it. And you know, there wouldn't be any concerns. If we give a topic on hammer is haram, we shouldn't drink hammer drugs are bad notion. But certain topics when you discuss it, the hijab, for example, it becomes controversial.

The role that a woman and her husband plays it becomes controversial. And of course, perhaps most controversially now, is gender, sexuality, sexuality, we can even give a talk about premarital sex and a boyfriend, girlfriend is haram. No one has an issue. You people believe it's haram, the rest of the world say it's okay. But you have your models, we have our models, and we move on. But this issue is a clash of two different modalities, two different ethics. And so as Muslims, we are learned, and we are taught a certain set of values, a set of do's and don'ts in our home. And when we go outside this a different kind of set of Ethics and Codes has been preached a different set of

codes and ethics that you see on TV you see in school, and there is a conflict between the nature of the fault lines between these two worlds. And so this is why it becomes very controversial and what it means when we talk about today. The religion, the dominant religion of the world, is not Christianity, it is Western secularism, Western, you know, Netflix, basically social media. And one of the beliefs of this, one of the messages that Western syncretism teaches you is that there is no higher truth, there's no authority, no one can tell you what to do, and how to live your life. You live your life the way you want to. And

what is moral and good and acceptable, is what you feel to be good model and acceptable. If you like something, and it doesn't hurt anybody else, then you should be free to do it. And no one can tell you not to do it now that conflicts very much with Islamic morality. And so you would find as our kids are growing up, they are being taught one things in the madrasa and having to this message, whatever feels good, whatever person does, and it doesn't hurt anyone else. Nothing wrong with it. And so as they reach an age where they need to form their own set of models, you get these questions. Why does this Islam not allow me to marry someone that I love? Why should i Why can't I

marry as ago? Why can't I marry a non Muslim man is a good person, we best friends for so long? Why are you preventing us from getting married? You people are backwards, racist? Why can't I marry someone of a certain orientation with gender? Why does Islam allow polygamy? Why am I dressed in a certain way? So these questions now become a clash between these civilizations. And so I want to ask

for those of us who all of us when we live the society that we're living in, and for those who if and if and this is the issue that a lot of young people have the issue with Islam nowadays is the ethics of Islam versus the ethics that they are that they have developed through school through the friends through social media. young Muslims don't have a problem with the belief in one Creator. They don't have a problem with worshipping Allah the Quran at that time will be some meta problem with that

The set of problems we have today is very different. And so I want to ask for anyone who's listening to this lecture. And if you found in your heart a conflict between Islam promote certain things I don't, it doesn't sit well with me. Before we question Islam, ask yourself, Where did that morality awaited your views of right and wrong come from? How did you learn what is right and wrong? And how do you know the things that you believe is good? is good? And the things that you say is wrong is wrong? Where did it come from? You realize you're just a mirror of what society has deemed it right and wrong, that if you lived 100 years ago, you would have been against certain things which you

hold now to be 100% permissible. If you live 50 years ago, in apartheid, most likely, you would have said it's immoral. For a black man and a white woman to get married, you would have believed that.

And you just need to look at our grandparents and our parents, how that morality has changed over time. It is not based on anything tangible, it is simply based on public opinion. And so as the waves move, you will move as well. When Allah subhanaw taala mentions this offer a two minute for a to Manitoba Illa Illa, who Hawa who have you not seen the one who has taken his own Hawa, his own desires, his own self, as his ILA. He has made the absolute morality himself whenever he feels to be good, and it feels nice. That is the morality whereas Islam we say no, as Muslims and this is what it means to be a Muslim and that's why I'm talking to a Muslim audience. If I was talking to a non

Muslim audience will be very different. If you say the Kadima No one forces you to say the Kalima by that by saying La ilaha, Illa, Allah, you testify that there is a Creator, that he knows everything. He understands everything, he understands me better than I understand myself, that he put me on this dunya with purpose with the reason he didn't just place me and walk away until you guys figure it out. He actually gave me guidance, he actually gave me a set of rules to live by, not just for the sake of making my life difficult, but so that I may have a successful life, and that we also believe in akhira, that there are consequences to my actions. So if I don't follow that guidance, they are

problems. So if you believe those things, then you cannot just make it up as it goes along as you go along. And you cannot do simply what feels right. And what is cool and acceptable within society as Muslims we ascribe to, we joined the club. So now we ascribe to those rules of the club. And this is just the backdrop as to why this issue is so contagious, but deep, but let's get into the detail. So let's talk about sex, sexuality. And obviously, it's a very broad discussion and a sexual orientation. Today, we're going to talk a little bit about sexual orientation signalization things you are attracted to the things that you desire, what does Islam say about that desires that we all

feel? It is good to even have sexual desires? How do you express it? How do you what's allowed? What's not allowed? Why does the Sharia allow certain things? And why does it share Sharia not allow certain things? What whatever we believe, as we've seen, whatever Allah has decreed this wisdom, or what doesn't just make things haram again, for for the sake of it leaves wisdom and guidance in it. And then how do we also very importantly, how do we live in a cruel society? Because even if you have your set of values, your neighbor, your coworker, your colleagues, your friends might have a different set of values. Can we coexist? Can we live together side by side? That's a very big

discussion. So let's talk about some of the terminologies we all heard about the alphabet, the rainbow elf with the LGBTQI plus, we should know what these letters mean.

So firstly, homosexuality is a term there's two types sexual sexual orientation is what you attracted to. So hitter sexuality is being attracted to a person of the opposite gender. So if you're a male, you're attracted to a female and vice versa. Homosexuality is you're attracted to someone that shares the same gender like you mean attracted to men and women are attracted to women. The term that if we break down each letter the L in LGBTQ L is lesbians. This is ladies who are attracted to each other and they are in a sexual relationship with one another. The G gay is we mean to men are attracted to one another for most of you, you know this. As you get to the base of the

Lexus you might be able to what is that the be bisexual, these are people who are attracted to both genders. So a man who is attracted to men and women, a woman is attracted to a man and a lady as Pamela. This definition needs to be upgraded because we have multiple genders. Now. You have males, females and other kinds of genders. I mean, this is a way society's going. T the T in LGBT, the T is transgender. Now, this is an what you need to understand there's actually two discussions here. One side of the discussion is about sexual orientation. What you're attracted to.

This agenda discussion is what you identify as, so someone might say, I'm a I'm a, I was born a male, I'm attracted to female, but I don't believe that I, in my mind, I'm a female. I'm not a boy. Nothing to do with six or a sexual attraction. It's got to do with who I feel as a person. Okay?

I understand these two discussions. Yeah. And we need to put those things separate into two totally different discussions. One is around sexual orientation. Who do you want to have intimacy with? And the other discussion is around what do I identify as a person. Now the T transgender, this is where a person

psychologically identifies with a gender that is not the same as the birth six. So you born when you're born on your birth certificate, the doctor will say, Boy or girl.

Now there is a group of people that says, Yes, I am biologically a certain gender, but in my mind, and in my identification, I identify with something else. So where you, and these are very,

sort of specific terminologies where your mind and your biology match is called cisgender.

Were you born a boy and you identify as a boy, you're called cisgender cisgender. Now, anything that doesn't match like that? Now we talk about transgender. Okay, and this is a, a movement that is perhaps one of the things that is very unique to this time, it's never happened before that we had. It's always there's always been a fringe movement like that throughout history, but never to this level.

The I sorry, the que means queer and queer basically, is for anyone that is not heterosexual, and is not cisgender. To someone that is not the that identifies with the norms. They called queer before it queer was a derogatory term. I don't share with you directly, but I mean, it's in the list. The i A lot of people might not know what the eye is the eye. Interestingly, no items that are interesting, it sounds for intersex. But what is interesting about this, this issue of intersex has been discussed by Islam for many, many hundreds of years. Intersex is when someone is genuinely born with multiple sexual organs. It's possible person can be born with a penis and a vagina. What does

the Sharia say about this person in inheritance is the easiest son who is your daughter. And so the Sharia every month has many, many books on this issue of intersex. So the Sharia has already discussed this a long time ago. And there's a lot of rules around this for intersex is something which we find within our Sharia, then this plus and as we said, this alphabet goes on for very, very long. Now, the LGBTQIA plus and it's a movement that is.

So there's always been people that have been part of this community that identify with these, either with a gender roles or with a sexual orientation. And up until recently, this community has never had the level of respect the level of acceptance like they do now. And really, whatever you want to say or feel about this community, we need to take our hats off, that is perhaps the most successful social movement in history. In the time of our parents, our grandparents, most parts of the world, you would have found loads of Muslim countries, Western countries, they were laws against so buggery and sodomy, these were laws against these kinds of movements. Now, it has not only been accepted

legally, but it is moving towards being the dominant, sort of the standard view of, of Western society. How did they do it, it's something very interesting, and something worth discussing how it was achieved 30 years ago, virtually almost every country criminalized

you know, this sort of community. And you know, without going too much in the detail, the 1970s 1969, there was a, a pub in the UK, that was a hangout place for people of this persuasion. And there was discrimination against them. And there was violence and a riot, and from the a movement started that we should get society to accept, and you know, groups and communities and community organizations formed together to promote the rights. And it's very important, we're gonna talk about the rights, just because we don't agree with the morality of somebody. And we don't agree with the religion of somebody, it as Muslims, we still have to honor the rights and the dignity,

very important. You have to honor the rights, the dignity of the atheists, even the person that is a prisoner in Paul's Mo, you can't just go and punch him and take his money without his even though he's a convicted criminal, whatever he did, that person still has rights. And so because this community has always be marginalized, and to be fair, they have been unfairly, their rights have been taken from them and just leave that there was a movement that this, this, this group of people need to fight a fight against oppression, and they formed groups to move forward. So in 1989, a two Americans at Harvard University, one was a marketing professor, a marketing graduate, they wrote a

book called after the 1989. It's like yesterday, I mean, I was born before that even they wrote a book called after the ball, and they said, We're going to work and have a plan. We by the end of the 90s, our community, the LGBTQ community, would be recognized and accepted in society, and they had like a six point plan. We must talk as much about homosexuality as possible. Basically, we need to give Dawa talk about it as much as

We can, and we should always we should show the world how we been victimized. Let the world see how we are being abused and oppressed, which is a common and align ourselves with organizations that the Orion LGBTQI rights with other social rights will align it with the ANC, aligning with the Palestinians alignment with any organization that is fighting minorities fighting oppression, we need to be part of that, that discussion. And then

make sure that we ever a person of this community is portrayed on TV and you can judge this, they always portrayed as hip, modern, sophisticated, and people who don't agree with us you are backwards, you are a redneck you are sort of racist you know you that's that's how you basically done and, and then of course have make sure that these organizations are tax exempted, and so that people can donate to this organization within that 10 years or so, this, this plan worked successful. And I think we should learn from it for our own social movements, Palestinian movements. So Muslims in Kashmir, we work from this. And they had set a very bold target that 10% Of all the

characters on TV need to be from the LGBTQ community, they more than exceeded it. It's close to 20. And it has become as we say, they have won the battle of acceptance in society has been one, they the initial initial, the initial

objective was we want to be accepted within society. The step one that now we're talking about not only acceptance, but to make it mainstream that everybody changes your views your morality, religion, to align with what is what the value is that is being preached by this community. And that is we it conflicts with what we have as Islam, where we can have a problem, where you tell our kids, that it doesn't matter how you have with whom you have intercourse with and how you express your sexuality, so long as so long as it's two consenting adults. It's okay. We will say it's not okay as a Muslim, because our Sharia does not allow that. So how do we manage this conflict? So let's talk

now about Islam. And six. What does Islam say about six and sexuality?

Islam as we know, has a very, very mature attitude towards six other religions. They struggle, you know, how do you be religious and pious to God, but you also want to do things between the sheets. Islam says no problem. That is part of being a human, that you are hungry, you eat, you're thirsty, you drink, you have desires, you have six, but there are laws, they are rules. And Islam says this is a natural feeling. It is not something bad or ugly. It's how you express it and how you act on it a feeling alone never judges a feeling, you judges an action

and you can only be acted upon within indica. This is the one thing Allah has commanded that if you want to exceed a you want to enjoy sex, it must be done within a Nikka now Monica has a legal contract, no matter what we say or do or want. At the end of the day, the laws of contracts are set by the Quran and Annika the formula of Anika is only boy plus girl. There is no other combination that Anika can work unfortunately, whichever you will want to feel about it. That is the rules of the Sharia. That a boy and a girl that's the only thing that you can have in terms of Monica and only throw Anika that you have sexual intercourse. And Islam then of course mentioned how six

between a husband and a wife is something which Allah loves Allah condones and that is something that you get rewarded for. It's an act of obedience. It encourages you have as much as you want between within the within the sanctity of Nikka. Anything other than that is in a six outside of marriage. There not only was six with someone that is not in the contract is haram. And like I said at the beginning of this topic, if we talk about premarital sex, it's not so controversial. We talk about adultery, it's not so controversial, even though adultery is perhaps one of the worst sins in terms of building stoning. That's the biggest thing. Yet when we talk about homosexual relations,

this becomes very, very heated. Why?

Allah subhanho wa Taala then also Allah mentions that of the believers Allah says and this is if you want success Allah says of the category of the requirements of a believer Allah Nina who lives routine Have you known that you want Jana? Part of the obligations is They protected the private parts Illa Allah is watching him except when except they can express they can enjoy themselves with their wives. Oh Allah Oh mama look at a man a man but in number zero man Amin for them there is no blame for many battle ha ha Dalek. But whoever wants more than that whoever goes beyond the Nikka for Allah eco hula, I don't and you have transgressed the boundaries of the Sharia. And so when it

comes to homosexuality, Allah subhanho wa Taala made it very clear the stance of Islam and I say again, this is the stance of Islam is not my stance, not your stance. We need to say yours the Quran, whether you're Muslim, non Muslim atheists, whatever, take the Quran, read it, and you conclude what does the Quran say with regards to homosexuality?

Let's not put bias into it. Let's not put our preferences into it. Let us read the Quran.

At face value, it's very clear it's one of those issues that it's not controversial.

If you ask me, if I touch a woman and break my we do as this panel this is a controversial issue the mother haves they can we can write we can discuss this for months, different mother's opinion, their opinion when it comes to this issue. Every month of every sick every group Sufi Shia, Sunni, Wahhabi, whatever, they all agree it's very clear the language of the Quran, Allah Francis wotja Como, and the people of Nabi lute came rushing upon him.

Woman woman cabello can we I'm gonna say and before they used to do commit a modality called we call me hula EBRT. So they came rushing, you know, this was gonna be loose. They came, the men of the community came to us they saw the angels into the house in absolutes, they came to they wanted to be with angels

to be intimate with the angels obviously. And so now we Lutz it to them. How old are you been it who knows how to like him has now been notice leave the main these are my daughters they are pure for you. So very clear and absolute saying the goals of the boys. Some confirm some not confused they deliberately try to change the Quran by saying the issue of Nabi Lutz people was not homosexuality. It was what the right now will not be lewd say. Don't make the mean. Right. My daughter's wouldn't say it was if the issue was right. And we all agree rape is wrong. Rape is bad. If the issue of the sin of nebulous people was right, that we would not say take my daughter's instead of the voice. The

issue here is of orientation and even more explicitly.

Allah says

Allah says tuna to Quran MNL Alameen Nabi lute says to them, do you take males as sexual partners out of the whole universe? Whatever Aruna ma Calacatta, kumara buco mean as far as you come, and you leave off your spouse's, your partners who Allah has created for you. So this is clearly an issue of sexual sexual orientation. And why I mentioned that is because I know there's a lot of Muslims, they want to be Muslim. They want they accept Islam, they accept the principles of Islam. But this issue conflicts with this as I want to be a Muslim and be truthful to the Quran. But I also want to agree with the social norms out there. So if there's a way I can change the Quran to be more in a middle

ground, it becomes easier. And we said unfortunately, no matter how many times you read the Quran back to front upside down, there is no second opinion on this. I will tell you the secret opinion, if there was any Madhab any scholar from the beginning of time until now, that said we read the Quran and there is appears to be some other evidence that just isn't the Quran is very clear, that it does not sanction

a Nikka between a man and a man or a man or a woman and therefore it is both fall under the category of Zina and it is not permissible. And we said we also not unique to this, that is also the view of most religions. If you open the Scriptures, this is the view. So this Islamic position, Islam has categorically said It's haram the same way Islam says Hamid is haram pork is haram. Having adultery is haram. Homosexuality is haram. So this whole list of the Riba is haram, looking at a woman that isn't your wife is haram, or there's a list of things that are haram.

When people ask me, what is the ruling about homosexuality in Islam? And I say It's haram. I mean, they don't mean No, I know it's haram. But why is it haram? Why does Allah make something when someone feels to people they love each other? Why does Allah make it haram? So for us as Muslims, we say this haram because Allah has decreed at that. But the reason behind it, we said, as a Muslim, Allah puts rules on what we dress what we can and can't do. And he knows the benefits and the harms of everything. In fact, when it comes to alcohol, Allah says in the Quran, in alcohol are many benefits, but there are many harms, and the harm outweighs the good. And so it makes it therefore

overall for society, Allah is deemed haram. So yes, there might be points that is favorable in this, there might be some good things in it. But Allah has deemed it to be haram. And as we'll see, as we submit, how who must decide what type of fetishes, what type of interactions is permissible? If we leave it to society, then whatever you want to do, you're free to go wherever you want. But as Muslims we sit Allah besides, and we know from a summary perspective, that Islam preserves the family unit and the structure of society and very clearly we see the consequences, whether whether you are pro or anti, you need to accept that a very free and open society to sexuality has its

negatives, you know, you have to even if even if you are pro, a certain movement, you need to admit that there are some negatives, for example, unwanted pregnancies, the breakdown of marriages, the divorce rate that we see the spirit of new diseases, STDs, AIDS we come from now this new disease what monkeypox read up where it started. So all the abuse all these things are consequences of a lifestyle that goes against against what Allah subhanaw taala has done, what Allah has decreed. And so there is wisdom in the laws of Allah. And so Allah subhanaw taala mentioned as a Muslim, you need to if you want to be a Muslim, then you have

Basically saying Ya Allah even though I grew up a certain way, and I have been programmed by my society that this is fine, but now I open the book of Allah and it is this is not fine. I trust you over myself you know better than what I know it's like Allah the Quran is like the GPS that if you lost in the desert you might feel but I think this way is the right direction but my GPS is telling me it's that way I put my faith in that GPS and I follow it this is what it means to be a Muslim. I said I'm speaking to a Muslim community so with an understanding doesn't sit right with a lot of people and we need to be open about this many of our kids why does Islam make something which is

harmless haram to good? I mean I friends they are just love each other? Why should Islam make it haram? We said that there is a wisdom but the bigger question then for us is how do I allow? Is it fee sorry is its fee and I leave this question for next week this is the argument is it fee that Allah place desires in my heart and then he made it haram for me to express the desire so I must love continuously with this burden on me. How can Allah do that? Is it fee I didn't ask to be born this way I will make this way I didn't have a choice in it. So how then is Allah going to put this in me and and what I if I want to live a life that is just to be happy. I'm not asking for anything

just to be happy. You've made it haram. We talk about that inshallah. Next week Lila and for those who have kids of between the ages of 15 and 25 We're doing a workshop on the LGBTQ question at the panorama see this Thursday morning. I think it's around our post nine. So if you'd like to join it's gonna depend on Rama nila, I don't think there's any cost inshallah. Then we also make the offer on dickeya She's still in hospital and Alexandra Shiva and over 65 I mean, that will hide or Salah Cena Muhammad will be somebody from notable Allah means