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Parenting #01 – Greatest Amaanah

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Muhammad West

Channel: Muhammad West

Series:

Episode Notes

Episode Transcript

© No part of this transcript may be copied or referenced or transmitted in any way whatsoever. Transcripts are auto-generated and thus will be be inaccurate. We are working on a system to allow volunteers to edit transcripts in a controlled system.


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We live in Michigan Hello James Miller man Rahim al hamdu Lillahi Rabbil alameen wa salatu salam ala COVID mursaleen Cinema humming Allah He also hijra and my beloved brothers and this is a symbolic Morocco to Lahore Baraka to Nairobi. datamine always and forever We'll begin with the praise of Allah, Masha Allah, Allah hidden Allah with a witness that none has the right to worship besides Allah subhanaw taala and we see now greetings and salutations develop with Nabi Muhammad Sallallahu Sallam to spice up your family to his companions, and also follow me soon until the end of time. May Allah Subhana Allah blesses to be amongst them. Meanwhile, hamdulillah Al Hamdulillah. Today, the

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12th of February Alhamdulillah, the masajid are open every imaginable Islam. Unfortunately, it is still limited to a very few number of people, only 50 people allowed to enter the masjid. And so we ask Allah subhanaw taala to keep us safe and to take the precautions. And for those who are unable to attend with us in the masjid, we are still releasing these lectures over WhatsApp and my was panatela except from us these little efforts that we do. Last week, we concluded with our series on inheritance in the theme of you know, death and preparing for death. We spoke about inheritance. And we said actually, the best thing that we can leave behind is not a lot of assets, lots of money. The

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best things that we can take with us into the archaea are good deeds, and the best things that we can leave behind on the dunya or perhaps good offspring that would make dua for us and that would be pious and that will be the greatest legacy of the greatest legacy we could leave behind a good offspring of Allah grant all of us to have pious offspring Allah protect our children, Allah subhanaw taala watch over the man cave with him. A better than weekends panel up and the greatest Amana and we begin a new series in child love the series on parenting. How do we make the most of our children and how can we fulfill our Amana? Every child that Allah Allah has bestowed upon us is

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a gift. It's a blessing, but it's a trust Allah subhanaw taala has linked us these offspring to see how we would how we would raise them and how we would nurture him. And then we'll be questioned about that, and that fdmr. And so this is the greatest of all, the greatest of all Amanda's interests. And of course, the task of parenting is perhaps the most difficult job that you could possibly do. You could be a doctor, a lawyer, you could, you know, run corporations. But of course, the title of mommy and daddy is the most difficult and the most daunting task that can be placed upon you caring for another human being and looking after another human being, and making sure that

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you influence and impact that person in the best possible way for this dunion, the athlete have spent a lot, it is one of the greatest challenges, if not the greatest challenge that is put on one shoulder. And of course, most of us were not prepared for it. When you become a parent, you didn't take a course in that Subhanallah in the psychologists say that, if you want to do any profession, you need to study, you know, 12 years of school and then you need to go perhaps further and study some tertiary education before you can even be you know, anything in the studio. And even if you want to, you know, write a call, you need to spend months and months training how to use a car, but

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to be appearance, panela, you can only become a parent almost overnight, and you know, helpless child is in your key. And so it is something that we are hopelessly unprepared for many of us. And we also live in a times panela way in the last couple of generations. And if you look at our grandparents, for example, a lot of the dynamics of parenting has changed. At the time, our grandparents, perhaps, you know, we had a household we mom hardly ever worked almost full time at home. The kids also they became very independent at a much earlier age, many of them that would only go to primary school, a very basic education, and then they became sort of independent, and they

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will financially on their own. And of course, these have changed over the last few generations. We both parents are active working, kids are dependent on their parents for many, many, many years. They go, they study at school, many of them go to university, and still they are dependent only on the appearance. And it's a new kind of era. And of course, the world is changing continuously. So competitive out there. The future is so unknown as vanilla, you know, there's so much pressure on what we should do as a parent and so much pressure on children to be prepared for the for the future. And even if you were to go into the bookshop, for example, you go into exclusive books,

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you'll find, you know, shelves and shelves of books that will speak about parenting theories, how to be the best parent parenting guides, and some of them contradict one another. Some would say, you must let your children you know, when the young babies they could sleep with you. Obviously nobody should sleep on their own something. No, you must let them cry. Others say no, you mustn't make them cry panela so much contradiction, and there's so much uncertainty. And you know, many of us you probably especially young parents, you would meet up with other young parents and you'd hear different philosophies and theories and it makes you feel so insecure. And we're not doing

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everything possibly every possible thing that I should be doing for my kids are in the right schools. Are they in the right aftercare programs? Are they doing the right extra murals? are they eating the right food? Are they going to bed on the right times panela It is such a daunting and overwhelming task as panela hopefully in this little bit of a lecture series we can try and make the parenting process a little easier and take guidance from the dean inshallah, what should we do as parents and ultimately Subhanallah how best Can we please Allah Subhana Allah in this ask.

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Nonetheless, it is a great honor

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And it is a massive responsibility because as parents we know, not only from psychology we know from the dean More importantly, that parents can make or break the kids, we can either influence our kids for the better, or we can harm our kids. And the professor says this in a beautiful Hadith, that every child is born on the feet thrust upon Allah, Allah subhanaw taala has given us each and every one of us children that are that are perfect, Allah has blessed everyone, no matter what your child is how Allah is printed, I seen that child, they are on the fifth row, they are pure, they are sinless, they have no evil inside him, they have no racism inside them, they have no animosity

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inside, the more hatred inside them. But it is we as parents, and the examples that we set as a result, either we will make them Yahoo, we Daniel Jonas serani, we will make them into a Jew into a Christian into a Muslim in whatever it might be, that we are the ones that influenced them and those ranallo as some of the scholars have said, well, either bad habit you find in your children, they know that's anila most likely they got it from you, or your or your wife or someone in your environment that they learned that bad habit from because Allah has seen them, you know, pure, and they were ready to receive whatever goodness they will receive it or whatever negative they'll also

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receive it. And so, being appeared in from an Islamic perspective, as I said, it is an Amana it is a test and it is a test. It is one of those big tests that will be questioned about on the day of gamma spinalis is what animal and no animal and wailuku what Allah Allah says that your money and your children are a fitna fitna. As we said fitna is a trial fitna is a test fitna is something that is you're going to be questioned about and that fdms Allah says your money and your children is this tile or anila endo as you don't have him and to Allah belongs a great great reward. Meaning This is not an easy test, because it's a great reward at the end. This is a very, very difficult test now,

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we spoke about money many times the thesis of money sometimes with this money is you have too little money or you have too much money, how you earn your money, how you spend your money, all this is a test of money. But spinal the test of children is a far more difficult test that is that money sometimes I lost Pamela tissue by giving you many children sometimes a lot is you by giving you know children's Parnell lamella gone those who can't have children and Allah grant them she found me they have kids sometimes I'll notice you by giving you strong and healthy children and sometimes all the tissue by giving you sick children or children that are struggling Allah Graceffa to anyone that is

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ill Subhanallah whatever Allah has given you, we don't have a say in it. We don't have to say which child we're going to get, whether it's a boy or girl, how many kids we're going to get. It is a gift from Allah. And it is a test from Allah. It is up to us to receive this and to receive these gifts from Allah subhanaw taala and do what we are commanded to do in raising them and nurturing them to the best of our ability, and then it will be questioned about the day of the AMA, and with Allah Subhana Allah is a great reward. The prophets of Salaam says every man is a shepherd, every single person is a shepherd, and he is in charge of the inhabitants of his household as the father of the

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household. You are responsible for the well being of your children in particular, you're responsible for the physical, spiritual needs, the financial needs, you are the custodian that Allah has placed on this dunya and he's responsible for his flock. A prophet also says and a woman every woman is a shepherd of her of her charge of the people that she's in charge of, of our husband's household and the children and she's responsible for them, for every father and every mother. It is an Amana that almost plant Allah has placed upon us and we will be questioned about that. The prophets of Salaam then also says there is no servant whom Allah has granted the responsibility the Prophet is saying,

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there is no person where Allah has given you a responsibility over other people, you were in charge of looking after other people either as the ruler, either as the manager or as the you know, the Father, the mother, so you have been made responsible over other people. And then that person unfortunately he dies and he dies in a state of not fulfilling his duty he deceives those people he has not done his responsibility in looking after his family promises is such a person. Allah has made gender forbidden for him it is haram for him to enter Jannah if you have not fulfilled the responsibility of leadership, if you have not fulfilled your responsibility as a mother, with

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fathers upon lots of this very serious consequences that if we fail in this space as part of law, you know, it is one of those things that when we think about parenting, it is sometimes we don't give it the priority. I speak to myself first panel, we spend so much time on our career. We spend so much time on our financial well being on every other thing and then whatever is left over is given to our household and even less to our to our children. We come home tired, exhausted, every last ounce of us was taken from us in the professional world and we come home we just went to we are emptied and that is what we give to our kids now, supine Allah we should understand that it is not

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just this big test from Allah subhanaw taala and we are responsible for it. But also it isn't. It might be our, you know, look at it with parenting every moment you spend with your child. Every moment you sit with the homework every day.

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sickness that you need to, you need to be there to look after every bedtime story like me that you have to look after it is an act of evader with Allah subhanaw taala is looking at us How will we take care of this little child and raise them up to be independent adults, this could be our ticket to Jannah, Allah subhanaw taala has not asked us to change the world and change governments and change the big things. Rather Allah subhanaw taala wants us to make sure that we take care of those small things that are in our power to take care of. And therefore, as great as this test is, along with it is a great reward. It might be your children, that is your key to gender. And so we learn

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that on the one side, we know many times we hear this all the time, that the key to gender is through your parents. But it might also be through your children, that you get to gender. And we've mentioned a few Hadeeth in the past series, for example, when it came to inheritance, that the best thing that you can leave behind, and the best charity that you can give is to invest in your own family, the profits versus the best charity is the charity one spins on his own family. And the best, you know, sort of a one that will continue after he dies is a cyclical progeria, where he has a pious child that continues to make to offer him answers on a lot. You might not have achieved much

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you haven't built many massages. You haven't, you know, memorize much of the Quran made a lot of evader. But the one thing that you did is that when you live this dunya your children will good children, they were pious children, they were Muslims upright, fulfill the duties to Allah and they will kind people in this dunya and they remember you in the door. And every single good deed that they do in their life will be part of your reward in the era. And what a beautiful Hadith is highly that you find in even imagine with a prophet also says a man status his position will be raised up in JAMA he'll be elevated by many gadgets you'll be raised up and then he will ask Allah How did I

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get this? How did I get to this high level in general and Allah will say to him, it is by the doors of your sons that Allah has forgiven you it is the good deeds of your children that got you to this level and so it is your children, it could be your ticket inshallah agenda, you find me people you think it's panela you know, we see it the way they pass away anything. Well, what did this Auntie do, she didn't do much, you know, great things in this dunya we don't know of any great sacrifices that she made. All she was a housewife. She was, you know, Auntie in the house, but spinal light was through her position as a mother or her position as a grandmother, that she had panela given that

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Allah subhanaw taala had blessed her with success through that. And, you know, as one mom sees many times, what will be our excuse to indigenous on the day of kiyama? Allah subhanaw taala wants us to enter Jannah and that's why there are multiple doors, there are more doors to intergender than jam, meaning there are more opportunities to enter jamna and is Allah subhanaw taala as well, that he wants us to enter Jannah but we need to have a reason and excuse why we enter Jannah and so Subhana Allah, what a beautiful thing where you can stand before Allah and it is because of your children. And the way you were as a parent, that will be the reason that we in the gem them Allah grant that

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for all of us.

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So how do we pass this this? How does Amana if this is a test from Allah, this is a test that Allah has given us. And we don't have a choice. You know, as finally you don't get to choose the exam that you're going to get you don't as they say it is, it is how Allah head and delta cards Allah subhanaw taala had given us, whatever Allah decreed to give us, it is for us now to fulfill our duty. So how do we pass this exam? What is it that Allah requires from us? And what does it mean to be a successful parent and will take us a few weeks inshallah? To answer this question, what is a successful parent and of course, a successful parent is a parent who raises a successful child. And

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so what is a successful child look like? Are the children that are financially stable? Have they achieved certain amount of degrees? Must they get certain A's on the report card? Is that success? What should they grow up to? And so it's quite a lot, a lot tells us a lot tells us and look at what we should aspire our kids to be. Some of our kids will be wealthy, some of them won't be wealthy, some of them as panela will live long lives. Some of them will be taken early sun might be even taken in our lifetime and that is up Subhan Allah, how would you be with that melon never ever put you in a test like that? Perhaps those difficulties is to lose a child may Allah protect our

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children. Perhaps it's a child that you will continuously struggle with and be patient with Mary's uterus, perhaps you will be a child that is brilliant, and is for you to fulfill the potential medicine test as a parent, but ultimately, a very simple thesis a las pantallas is our first priority. The annual levina manual Oh, you will believe call amphastar como la coonara. Allah says, save yourselves and your children and your family from the fire Save yourselves and your children from a fire. This is the ultimate the ultimate priority for us. And we need to make sure that when we leave this dunya and when our children leave this dunya that they are in the best position to

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Avoid Janna to be saved from to be saved from Jana. Nothing is more important and no priority is more important than ensuring on the day of kiama we are saved from the fire of Jan Nam and we intergender and any child no matter what, what else they achieve in this dunya so long as that happens when they will be successful as panela and we'll talk perhaps more about this, you find many of the ambia when they are on the database, like for example Nabi Yaqoob, when he was on his deathbed and he speaks now Yousuf and the brothers, and then the only thing he asks them, what will you worship after me? Will you worship after me and they say, we'll only worship Allah, and then he

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feels comfortable, he feels really now I can leave it as a parent, the most important thing we want to instill in our children, save yourself from jahannam and the only way you can save yourself from janam is La ilaha illa Allah is an unworthy of worship of Allah to have a relationship with Allah subhanaw taala and no matter what else you achieve on this dunya if you have that, then you're successful. And unfortunately, no matter what else you have in the dunya if you don't have that Kalima and you don't live by that Kadima, then you really failed as a person. And Allah protect us we failed as, as parents, is another idea. Subhan Allah gives us perhaps a more, a more detailed

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example of what a successful child looks like. And once if you can achieve this as a parent, then you can feel I have done my duty, you can feel contented in your heart and be in love with the grace of Allah, I fulfilled my duty as a as a parent, in the 46 surah ayah. Number 15. Allah sponsors for our final insanity while he Asana, Allah says, and we had enjoyed we commanded upon man, that he needs to be good, he needs to give his parents the base of treatment, how am I that humo that his mother carried him Quran that she carried him in hardship, when she carried him for those nine months, it was in a lot of pain and anguish, what what at what could happen, and she also when she

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gave birth to him, it was really difficult on her or harmala, who and his gestation he was inside of his mother of isalo booth. And as soon as that her caring of him and her weaning, her breastfeeding of him is 3030 months. So this entire period, you are completely dependent on your mother, for the first basically 30 months of your life, you are completely dependent on your mother. And then Allah says, and if you continue to be dependent on your parents, and your parents continue to look after you had either Bella until he reaches or should, he reaches his maturity and the child and the person grows up, why bother her brain Asana and you reach 40 years old now very interesting. I'll

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put the age of 40 in the Quran. And Allah says once you reach the age of 40, it says you fail, you have reached your full potential. And many other scholars have said at the age of 40, this is really when you are at the pinnacle of your of your life, I know some of you might feel I was at my clinical at 20 years old. But really, it's at 40, that your maturity, your intellect is at its full capacity. And that is why many of the MBA like the prophets also let me became an OB, at the age of 40. It mentions that we moosari salaam at the age of 40, this is also became an IV. So Allah is saying, when you are at your full maturity, now you are a fully grown adult. So if you look at this,

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if Allah is saying that you started off being carried by your mother, and you continue to depend on your parents, and they look after you until you reach the age of 40. And now you are at your Pinnacle. And when you at this point in your life, and if you're at 40 and the point is, we as parents want to get our kids to this destination, a person at that age is is called our ob This is our lobby My Lord. Oh ziani an ash qurani ematic allottee and I'm Talia, Allah grant, you know, bless me, enable me to be grateful for the favors You have bestowed upon me. So first thing, a child that grows up to be a successful adult, what does he say? He he has a connection with Allah The very

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first thing is that he speaks to his Lord, this is my Lord. Let me be grateful to the blessings and the favors you bestowed upon me. He has a relationship with Allah, He is connected to Allah, He is appreciative for that which Allah has given him of blessings or otherwise the year and grant me also Yeah, Allah to be appreciative of my parents that he is grateful to his parents, and of course to those who do good to him, he is grateful to, to his to his family were anomala saleha taraba, who will absolutely feel the reality and in grant Mia Allah to, to do righteous deeds that you approve of. So this person, Allah saying, a person that grows up, that has a connection with Allah and is

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devoted to Allah and His appreciative of Allah and his parents. And then he says, Yeah, Allah, now that you've given me all of this, and I'm at my full maturity, allow me to live a life where I do righteous deeds, I contribute positively to this dunya I am someone that helps society I'm someone that helps other people I bring about goodness we ever I am. And grant me also Yeah, a lot was literally fever reethi and grabbed me then to have children that are that are righteous or offspring that will be

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Good, so allow me to raise good offspring, so that we continue the cycle of goodness. And then he says, in the tube to like an IRA pin to Allah, whatever, since I do none of us are perfect, whatever false I have, I repeat to you, we're in the middle muslimeen and I am of the Muslim. And this is the ultimate thing that you love, and you die as a Muslim. So in this ayah, Allah summarizing, again, one of those, if that summarizes your life, from, from conception from when you're born, even before you are born, all the way until, until you reach your full potential. And this is what we all aspire that our kids should be like. So yes, we have dreams, you know, they can achieve great things in the

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career, all of us want our kids to be the best at sports, and the best in school and have the best of grades and to achieve all the wealth and prosperity. I mean, and have nothing wrong to want those things. But in this is it Allah tells you what are the important things important thing, number one, they are committed and devoted to a lot and that they worship Him and that they are grateful to him, and that they are devoted to the parents and that they love the parents, and that they live a life by doing good deeds, deeds, which Allah is pleased with, with a big or small but they live a life which is pleasing to Allah, then they continue that cycle by raising also good offspring, and when

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they make mistakes, very painful and we return to Allah. But ultimately, no matter what they achieve in life, the most important thing is are in niemela muslimeen. They are Muslims that they love as Muslims, they are Muslims in everything in every aspect that they do. In you know, the deen is a priority. They are Muslim before they are anything else. And this is the priority in their life. And Subhanallah if you've achieved in this dunya with all its distractions, and its diversions with all its confusions, if of the you know your kids are completely independent and Swan alarm, as the psychologists say, The strange thing is, you know, appearance a job, you know, you've done a good

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job when your kids are completely free of you, when you can let go completely and they don't need you anymore. And you spend your entire life nurturing and looking after this, this child so that they can one day basically leave you not leave you but they no longer need you in that sense. And if you have let go and they are on their own, and they are practicing Muslims that are hamdulillah you have fulfilled your Amana you have done your job and met Allah subhanaw taala going on then to be your our access to Jenna that if we leave offspring, but our Muslims, and that's it Alhamdulillah Allah that be enough for us to attain Jana. So how do we achieve this? How can we start with

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basically a baby that knows nothing? So by the time they reach before maturity, and when we let go of them, they are pious and practicing Muslims, how can we achieve that? inshallah, in the coming weeks we'll discuss this in the lab, just one announcement in sha Allah. There is a marriage course that Islam in conjunction with the MSA will be hosting. It is February and will think about marriage and love and romance. And so before we talk about parenting, of course, what comes before parenting is of course makaha and all those things. And so these are marriage course that is starting this Sunday, on Tuesday evenings and insha. Allah Edward is added with the attachment just like the

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height. We hope to see you the sugar and so much as cinematical martial law when it got to