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Upholding The Rights of Women

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Muhammad ibn Adam al-Kawthari

Channel: Muhammad ibn Adam al-Kawthari

Episode Notes

Episode Transcript

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Bismillahirrahmanirrahim

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Alhamdulillah

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wa Salatu was Salam ala rasulillah and hungry La Traviata. Meanwhile, octava to the Moto pain was Salatu was Salam O Allah so you know Mohammed was early he was Savage morinaga coolie mentor Dr. Sangeeta yummy with Dean Allahumma aluminum and found out when

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I was sitting accountable Mohamed el Medina in Argentina in Canterbury came over him original

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original bottle of water.

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Respected brothers and sisters for let's say less respected sisters and brothers.

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Assalamu aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa barakaatuh.

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I'm actually very, very happy. The way this topic has been arranged, I was actually thinking coming here and just putting my thoughts together. Because whenever we talk about REITs,

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in an audience, and I've talked about this topic, many times many places, I've never, it's never just focusing on one gender, it's always rights of the husband rights of the wife rights of men rights of women, it's always you can't understand this topic, except both sides are discussed. And then every time I always mentioned this, that one of the problems that we have is that we live in a time when everybody just wants their rights, and they don't think about what they have to give other people.

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every relationship, every relationship, the employer will learn about the rights of the employer, forget the rights of the employee, the mother in law only knows the rights of the mother in law, the daughter in law only knows the rights of the daughter in law. The mother in law lives in a mother in law world, and the daughter in law lives in the daughter in law, the daughter in law, she never thinks How is it to be on the other side of the fence, never realizes, never thinks the daughter in law. She's not married, she's got a three year old baby son, remember, she you have a son three years old, 20 years down the line. When he is 23. He'll bring a bride and then will become a mother

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in law. But then that time, she will completely change she'll forget, it was probably a previous life. Being a duty law. What is all that about now is her minds completely changed. She's the mother in law. Now, she doesn't understand what a daughter in law feels like. And likewise, the mother in law. Right now she's really angry. And she's you know, trying to control the daughter in law, but we had to tell her own mother in law. Remember 25 years ago, 30 years ago, you were a daughter in law? Was I a daughter in law, that's like some species that I don't understand what that species is about. The landlord only knows the vocal rights of being a landlord. And the tenant only knows the

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rights of the tenants of the tenant.

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Parents only now know about their rights. Some parents, the only Ayat of the Quran, they know what autoboca law will do, he will be worried at

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Wayne tjahaja Gala.

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For now,

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Mr. over the road every day, they know all the ayat of the Quran of the rights of the parents. What about all the amazing rights of the children that Allah has placed as responsibilities for parents and the children they only remember or know about how the parents should treat them. And this is a sad fact, every relationship and the heartbeat of the messenger sort of love audio says you can't be a complete believer. Now you may know how to comb

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your hair, your hair, but enough See, which means that we have to put ourselves on the other side of the fence. If you're a husband. Think about the rights of the wife. Whenever when I talk about this topic, I always say we have sometimes married people, men and women. And I say this, that husbands and men don't come here to listen to your rights come to listen to your responsibilities. And wives because sometimes, you know, there's like there's a gathering sisters are one side brothers are and we're talking about the rights of the husband and wife. And the husband is thinking when I'm talking about the rights of the wife, teacher, women and all the talk and the rights of the of the of the

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women and women I think hope has was listening. I hope he's listening. Yes, yes. Yes. speak a bit more. Yes, yes. He needs to know this. And he needs to know that. And the husband when we talk about when we start talking about the rights of the husband, that respect your husband, obey your husband on all the different different proposals that Allah subhanaw taala has placed

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on the wife has responsibility and the rights of the husband. And the husband is thinking yeah, I hope my wife is listening. Yes, yes. sunray she's listening. Is she listening and this is about

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Big problem, because everyone is just coming to listen to the rights. We live in a time It's me, myself and I everything is just about me. What about you? Um, seriously, somebody asked me today over breakfast when we ask our guests. How's that? How do you make your marriage work? You know, getting married is easy. Probably the easiest one, it should be easy. That's another problem.

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So holla what can we talk about? You know, marriage is supposed to be such an easy aspect of Islam and Deen and life. The Sahaba would get married and there was as they would just change the clothes. Seriously, I've got a family of no over the Allahu anhu he got married.

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He the messengers of Allah audio sent him saw him he had some stain on his clothes. He said, Oh, man, what's this yellow stain. So yellow stain? Oh, last week, your rasulillah last week I got married and I applied some perfume and that's the stain of the perfume. So you got married last week. This is the Messenger of Allah sallallahu sallam, he did not even feel the need to tell a last messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam that I got married. If it was some amount like me today.

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You didn't tell me by a psalm getting married? What's happening, brother. It's no big deal. Like we will get married and no problem you know you don't have

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this is how the Sahaba would marry simplicity in weddings is a topic on its own. People go and undergo depression, people have to save up for 10 years, parents have restrictions until the Great Grandma doesn't come back from Hyderabad. And the other one doesn't come from here. And the grandma from here doesn't have her say and this one doesn't. Everyone, the more seriously the elderly people. I tell you obviously, the more we close the door for Hannah, the dose of how we are opening ourselves, do we have no right to complain if our children are involved in sinner or in unlawful relationships, this these were the messengers of Allah who I need to send him that if parents don't

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make their children married off and they commit sins for in Islam, whoo hoo, Allah, Avi, the sin is on the father, make it easy, self imposed restrictions that this has to be done and that has to be done. I have hundreds and 1000s of emails and cases where children want to marry but parents are not letting their marriages yesterday or some somebody was saying that, you know, my parents say you have to do this. You have to do that. You have to do this. You have to do that. And I am in a living here in the West and the Phaeton eyes are on me. I mean, how can I save myself I'm 2425 years of age. Seriously, in this day and age living in this environment for a 25 year old to stay away from

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Xena I think it's a miracle it's a worry of Allah. Seriously. This it's not easy. We try to brush under the carpet everyone that handle I'm away from since it's it's a natural need natural need just like the need of eating food.

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So that's another topic make marriages easy make it easy for young people to get married. So staying to get married is easy. I was saying is easy. Supposed to be easy. But remaining married is difficult. And remaining happily married is even more difficult.

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As people married, you know, remaining happily married is even more difficult. It's a moja it's a struggle. You young people, you know, you're getting excited about marriage, marriage, when you get married, then you realize that Oh, what have I done? inshallah It's good.

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It's very difficult. You know, there's so many a Hadith of the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam that talk about the blessings of marriage, the fidelity of marriage, the virtues of marriage, the rewards, the rewards of marriage. And I don't want to make this as a bearish topic because I'm coming to the rights of the women. But the rewards of marriage. Once I was teaching a course and I was talking about listing, we were going through all the Hadith that talk about the rewards of getting married. It's a Sunnah there's so much reward if we do it with the right intention, acting upon the Sunnah of the messenger sallallahu alayhi wasallam. So one brother asked the question is to

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nobody. So can I ask you a question? I said, Yes, I asked the question. He said, I have a thought in my mind. SubhanAllah I'm thinking that in Islam, all the things that give you a lot of reward, they're all difficult, you know, like fudger, Salah five o'clock in the morning, difficult job fasting and Ramadan. How do you know? It's all difficult and it's right it's in the Hadith, the messenger sallallahu wasallam said Haji, but in Nairobi Shahada LGBT agenda to build mockery. That Hellfire is veiled with apparently pleasurable things if you want to enter Hellfire then apparently pleasurable things eating her arms in stealing all the apparently things that you enjoy doing. They

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take you to hellfire. Well, should you battle Jenna to Bill mockery and the things that are difficult

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Take you to gender and this is a son of Allah subhanaw taala Why didn't Allah do it the opposite way around? Ask Allah I mean, this is a student that even in this world

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I'll give you an example even in this world, somebody wants to live a healthy lifestyle. Yes, you're a dietician, you want to diet and be healthy. You go to a dietitian, give me what should I eat? cakes, burgers, pizzas, cheese, jam, strawberries, desserts?

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Is that what he's going to say? No. If you want to be healthy, you have to eat things you don't want to eat? What why wasn't it like this? That okay? You know, to be so healthy cakes and pizzas and burgers. I could have made it like that. To be very healthy, all the things that we like to eat, and to not be healthy, the things we don't like to eat. It's not like that. That's the son of Allah in this life. So even for Jenna and Johanna, it's a test. So this brother asked this question he said, The I see all the difficult things take you to gender, all the hard things difficult things take you to paradise. Not all the

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easy, apparently pleasurable things apparently pleasurable, because that's another discussion. These are apparently pleasurable. For those who have connection with a law. There's no pleasure in sin. Apparently pleasurable things take you to hellfire. He has to question. But there's one exception you are mentioning so much reward for nikka hand marriage. And this is the only one thing that is handled so much pleasure and takes you to Jenna has a brother, Are you married? He said no. I said that's why you're saying this.

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When you get married after five years, let's see if you ask the same question. Easy to get married, difficult to remain married, and even more difficult to live a happy marriage life. But this is a very good system I handled I really liked it. Because we all come to listen to our rights. So yeah, I was saying that somebody asked today, I've taught a lot of marriage courses. What is the conclusion? If somebody asked me, I've been teaching marriage courses for 1015 years, different places, so many places, even here, actually, in Chicago, I came in 2011. There was a retreat, and I taught the whole marriage course for about three days. After so many years of teaching, if somebody

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asked me Tell me one summarized sentence of the whole family, not just marriage, family relationship, marriage relationship. What is that summarized sentence, I feel the last panel data that in any if we want to have prosperous relationships, marital relationships, parents and children, relationships, siblings, and family relationships, the summary is that, and this is how I feel what I understand on a lotto is best is that in any relationship to be prosperous, we, each person involved in that relationship has to make everything about the other person. It's all about you, the husband gets married, not for his satisfaction. It's not about my right. It's not about

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what I want. I have married a woman for the sake of Allah Subhana Allah and I have married her for her to help her to assist her to take a close to a law to fulfill her rights. A Muslim, a believing woman who believes in a loss of power with either a human being a creation of Allah, and for the sake of Allah, I am here just to give that's it. Forget my rights, who were there, she gives me my rights. I don't mind. I have so many people who call me

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Okay, problem in marriage. What's the problem? I do this, this is but my husband doesn't do this, this this. I do, do do I do so much. But my wife doesn't do this. I said, you know, when you go in you will pay Yamanaka you think that I wish he knew nothing, you know, the rewards you got you don't worry about what your spouse gives you. You just worry about. And if everyone takes it upon themselves about what they have to give, then everybody will be happy. Because everybody's just giving nobody's worried about taking the wife has to think I am getting married. Why it's only for the sake of I am in this marriage to serve my beautiful husband. I am here to serve him for the sake

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of Allah. I am here my agenda is through my husband. My agenda is through my wife. My agenda is through my parents, my children bring up children is my agenda. These things take us to paradise. every relationship make it all about giving. That's it. Charity is giving. It's all about rather than me myself, I we have to make every relationship about you yourself. You not me myself, I forgot me. It's all about you. every relationship throughout our life to the point that even Subhan Allah This is this came to my mind a few months ago and this is like HD Hydra detection. And Allah knows best if I'm in a softer Femina la familia ministry thought. We have children here as well. That the

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messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam

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mentioned that, you know, he was happy to Buhari and Muslim, that some of the companions the poor companions came to the messenger sallallahu it was said to me said Yasuda Lau messenger of Allah the foodie bill

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the wealthy people have taken the food the people of wealth they've taken away all the juice all the rewards. Why? They said you saw Luna Amano Sally we assume una cama no soon they pray we pray they fast we fast meaning we are all equal with a sword the hoonah before the Liam worry him however they have an advantage they have money just like right now Mashallah you're giving in charity the rich someone who has money okay he can give with his wealth and we don't have money to give so we're left behind. I don't know if this is the right time straight up fundraisers don't second question this is okay. So the messengers a lot value system said our laser has an Allah given you something matassa

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de una de Allah has given you something you can give charity you don't have to give charity is not just through golf. But remember, this doesn't mean that it replaces it doesn't mean He replaces the card and sadhaka and everything has his own place. But he was just saying that if you don't have wealth, then you can also do charity in different ways. In the colitis we had in South Africa, every time you say Subhana Allah sadaqa we'll call it the Holy Land in South Africa. Every time you say la ilaha illa Allah is charity or political spirit in South Africa. Every time you say Allahu Akbar sadaqa amarone Bill Maher roof, Juana Yun and in moon curry sadhaka in joining the good is charity

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forbidding the evil charity. Then he said, Wolfie booderee aha deacons are the cotton. Each one of you fulfilling your intimate needs with your spouse is sadhaka. Somebody said in a talk afterwards, I don't have to give the card anymore. MasterCard is in the bedroom.

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Well, we both come sadhaka.

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As I said, he doesn't replace it. Even in intimate relationships. This is charity. Now the deduction I understood from this hadith Allahu Alem sadaqa is about what it's all about giving when you helping you assisting giving the poor, to the point Islam says even intimate relationships This is deep point, even intimate relationship between the husband and the wife has to all be about

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even that you don't get married for your own gratification, you're there to fulfill the needs of your spouse, from every angle possible. physically, emotionally, psychologically, intimately every angle possible. You are there to serve as a man and as a woman. So this is why this was just like the introduction that I really I was so happy to see this that the tool for the men which was supposed to start and I'm going to start at the top for the men is all about what we as men have responsibilities and we have to give the rights of our woman and like with the man has mentioned that the talk for the sisters was what they have to give to you so don't worry inshallah we're

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hearing about what we have to give our women they have all their rights, but they've heard the you know what they have to do as well. And this is this is how it should be reading and I'm gonna keep this in mind. I think some places we're going to do this inshallah though, for the women don't listen, we don't even listen to what your rights are. We don't know men don't need to listen to what our rights are. We just need to listen to our wife's rights or our women's rights and women need to listen just to about men's rights don't listen to your rights. Allah subhana wa tada I mean these rights and his Deen is all about who you know half of our Deen is fulfilling the rights of human

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beings. Coca Cola will help over a bud our Dean is based on two things if you were to summarize the rights of the the loans of sherry, our half of them, rights of Allah subhanaw taala and the rights of human beings and the automa actually say who could a birdie mapa de mon Allahu Allah, the rights of the servants of Allah the creation of Allah are given preference over the rights of Allah Himself. Because if we harm if we inconvenience if we do not fulfill the rights of human beings and the creation of Allah then until they don't forgiveness Allah will not forgive us with a life will come into sin between us and Allah. We just wake up in the middle of the night or whenever y'all

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overflow, forgive me. Sin forgiven. womanism become an umbrella. The one who repents from his sin is like he's never committed the sin could have been here. mahato O'Hara in Ottawa punto, batana sohar End of story angels I made you forget, forget and the record book is clean. It's true.

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Why'd you know we had the swipers You know, when you kept things why? Because I thought he was taking snipers. I said this one was the snipers because I've never heard this in England his wife has like that, you know, use this word swipers But then I thought I said Look, he said people are going around with snipers, snipers.

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I got a bit scared but I so swipe has hamdulillah

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all the sins are swiped away hamdulillahi Rabbil alameen. But when it comes to the OIC on the rights of the mahalo if we're wrong, somebody we've backbiting we've cheated, we owe money, because I owe somebody 2000 pounds, lost 100 after Tara viola, forgive me for all my sins, and that's it, I don't have to pay 2000 pounds, it doesn't work like that, until I don't go and pay you I don't get it forgiven. A loving Lord forgive. And this is why the rights of the servants of a law are highly important. And new. So our family members from all the creation of an animal have rights we have the session today, animal have rights, the whole of humanity, Muslim, non Muslim, we have to give their

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rights. But as they get closer to us, the rights are increased, the emphasis on the rights are increased. So

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the whole of humanity then people in America, then people in Illinois, that's the state and then in Illinois, Illinois, I don't know how you pronounce it, however you pronounce it, then people in Chicago, then this area, then this must your your community emphasis is increased, then your family charity begins at home. Sometimes we want to be nice and gentle and kind and considerate to the whole of humanity, except the beautiful wife that Allah has given you at home, and the beautiful children that Allah has given you at home. And there's a reason why that happens. Sometimes. The reason is, there's two reasons one is because I'll tell you why sometimes I love it. But this

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happens is because it's easy to be good and kind and hospitable and courteous with everybody else outside. Difficult at home. Why? Because the people you're living with at home, you're living with them. 24 seven, you're sharing the same house, same kitchens and bedrooms, same bed with a spouse, you're living 24 seven and human beings can't live with one another. They think differently. They live differently. It's a challenge to test. This is actually in the hardiness zone and tell me they were the messengers on a lot but he was sent and said, well Muslim will love you Holly to nurse West virada middle Muslim Allah de la harlowton as well as

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a believer who lives with people he interacts with people and because of which he has to do suffer because which this means that if we there's two choices, one person can say you know what, I'm just going to live in isolation in an island on top of a mountain. Nobody will harm me I won't harm anybody.

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There's your feelings will not be hurt. The messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam is saying a Muslim will let the U haul Lupo, NASA, someone who takes the challenge, like we all have taken the challenge. A human being is a social being we live with people, you when you live with people, it's a must that your feelings will be hurt. It's impossible to live a life with people and feelings not being hurt, why it's not possible. Because we all think differently. We all think differently. We all look differently. Our fingerprints, I came to, you know the airport. Okay, stand for your four fingers. Everyone's fingerprints are different. We are all mentally psychologically different. When

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people are different, there'll be different views. And in a marriage that gender is different as well.

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In marriage, gender is different brothers, you know, there's lots of married people here and hamdulillah they lived a long life and marriage and carry on keep protecting and preserving your family lives and make lots of love and have that. So I'm not addressing you know, our great, you know, married people who've become grandparents and Subhanallah raised beautiful families that I'm talking about talking some of the younger people that before getting married, or if you're just recently married, realize, remember, you have to understand this, that there are differences. Your spouse is different from you, your wife is different from you. One of the problems that young people

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face when they get married is all their life. They've lived a bachelor lifestyle. They've hang around with the brothers and they've gone to have some shisha and some coffee and you know, and then you know, they just chilling out. I don't think they use that word here and relaxing. And when they get married, they think the wife is one of the lads. You know, it's like, though, you know, you were probably just chilling with your mate and you said something, which is,

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you know, you maybe just, you know, just did that on the back of top 10 the top 10 your friend or you said made a remark or something. And he took he was just a joke, no problem. You know, he didn't have his back the next day. You know, you'll probably give you a remark. You can't do the same thing to your wife, a woman she's number one. She's a woman. She's different from you. She's more sensitive, she's more gentle, she's fragile. She thinks differently.

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You say the same thing to your watch you cry for four months?

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She will and then you think why is what so big deal like what why are you praying for but you don't understand you're not a woman. And this is actually taken from a hadith. There's a Hadith of the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam

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a two min

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Allah hold them in Berlin.

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I actually have a book on this and I this is a book it's being sold and I'm not selling it so I'm not trying to sell anything here I just sold it and a lot of salami selling it. But I gathered for this is two three years ago. 40 Hadith I picked from the six books of Hadith. These are all authentic hadith, with translations and three, four pages commentary on every Hadith from the beginning of the marriage, till the end of the marriage, have you 39 to 40 there's four Hadith from the rights of the wife and the husband. So I've got four and one of the first ones of the rights of the wife because I started with the rights of the wife, her vocal maratea zoji rights and privileges

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of the wife. The first one here is the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said I'll come to the one a commandment Mina Eamon and axonemal colocado Heroku Heroku Lisa m colocado Timothy murgia the messenger sallallahu Sallam said the believers are the most complete faith are the ones with the best character. The best amongst you are the best of you in character towards the women. The best amongst you are those who are the best in character towards the women. And then there's a commentary I won't read the commentary it's quite long to three pages. But this is the heady in Bukhari and Muslim so it's absolutely so he authenticated.

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The messenger Salallahu alaihe salam o Herrera Lh Alma token in Atlanta, Georgia, Hawaii. Tada

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Ah, a woman is like a river. If you try to straighten her you will break if you want to enjoy her enjoy her with the crookedness now this no this we are smiling I've actually explained this within two three pages I've actually specifically chosen the difficult so cold difficult Hadees that some people try to use against Islam that look this is what Islam says is took on the challenge that no let's explain the real context of this Howdy. This Hadees is misunderstood by some non Muslims they say okay Islam degree degrades women. A woman is like a ribbon just crooked. Some men actually believe that some Muslim they actually this one woman for me says my husband whenever he gets angry

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says you owe crooked one nice messenger called you crooked you are crooked I knew you will cook it from day one. You're bent

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What is the meaning of this head is looking for tell birdie looking no is commentary? Look what the commentators on the sugar explained of this Hadith, the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam is saying he's talking and then in another way, he said, therefore the completion of the Hadith. Therefore treat your women honorably. Well be kind because they are like a rib. This is not saying they are crooked. This is saying that from the man's perspective, from the man's angle, the woman looks crooked, which means them from your angle the woman looks different. And the beauty of the rib is in it being slightly bent. That is the beauty. If that rib is straight, then there is no beauty.

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The beauty of the woman is in her being sensitive is in her being gentle is in her being fragile, handled with care. I tell some men if you forget that tell your wife put a sticker on the back fragile handled with care, because they men forget. And some men forget they marry women. So I tell the men that take the silver hair in your hand and make this be I married a woman I'm married a woman I'm married a woman I'm married a woman I'm married because we need reminder. You keep on forgetting that you married a woman you didn't marry a man she's different. emotionally, psychologically, from all angles possible. She is a woman somebody has to keep on telling you,

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brother, you married a woman Suit yourself. It's a majority at the beginning. You're trying to do something. Just think to yourself as a husband. Okay, now I've married a woman. I can't do this. I'm married to a woman. She's different. She's not like one of the lads. One of the guys one of the men. She is like a rib she's very, very fragile. If you say something to a man, you just laugh it off. But if you say to a woman, she's going to cry for days. Sometimes women cry without even saying anything. I'm sure the married men will your wives cry. You ask Why are you crying? They don't know themselves. Why are they crying?

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It happens. Like I don't know why am I painful? But that is the beauty that is the beauty is part of that that makes a woman woman that is the beauty of a woman. If that wasn't in a woman you'd be married to a man you know you want a woman to get married to the sensitivity, the gentleness the fragile knows. This is the beauty of a woman. And this is what Allah has told them. And this hadith is saying that look, if you try to straighten her, what does that mean? If you try to make her like you if you try to make her like a man if one of the major reasons

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have problems in marriages because men want to make their wives like them. You want your wife to think like you, you want your wife to eat like you, you want your wife to like the same food like you and have the same opinions. It's not gonna happen unless you turn into a man, she as long as she's gonna stay a woman, it's not gonna happen. So just forget that dream, she will remain a woman and she will think differently, she will be emotional and you have to live with it. And that's why the howdy the same way some data we have is some data we have a watch. If you want to derive benefit and derive benefit from her as she is, don't try to change her, because you will not able to change.

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So this is what the happy for the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam is saying that she is different. So therefore, I'm differences you have to understand. Another point here is that, sadly, we live in a time that one of the major reasons or problem is because we don't understand these differences. This book session on this topic non Muslims have written I'm sure many of you may have read that book. Maas men from Mars, women from Venus. I've read that book. There are differences. There's so many differences. The problem today is that we mix up equality with similarity. There's equality in Islam, men and women are equal.

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In Islam according to a law in a Muslim eat one Muslim as well meaning one woman on 18 saw their pain was healthy enough Groucho will have about what they're kidding about the theater was okay not equality, but men and women are not saying they are different.

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The problem today in the West is that people confuse equality with similar or similar similarity. And there are people we know gender roles are being mixed up. Men were created differently Allah gave men different qualities and different weaknesses. Women have different qualities and weaknesses. The man's role in a marriage was to be the breadwinner was to be the caretaker was to be the one with the pylon to our moon are in the sub in my follow up

00:32:07--> 00:32:21

were Beamer and football. So this was the role of the man the woman's role was to be you know, the submissive woman towards a husband and rely on her husband, and be gentle and and you know,

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rely on the shoulder of her husband and tanto husband. This is how Islam men and women are not. They are, they are not there to

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compete with one another, but rather to compliment one another. A man with masculine traits a man with masculine understanding, a man who plays the role of a man, he is a man, and you have a woman who's a feminine woman who has feminine traits plays the role of a feminine, this is a perfect, perfect example of a perfect union and it's a perfect match. Men and women have been created to complement one another. Sadly, we live in a time that the man is losing his masculinity, from everything possible from the way the man is thinking from the clothes that the man is wearing. Nowadays, you know, there's there's like people who don't even know right now there's so many people

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who don't even believe in gender This is a big thing right now, there was just reading in the news the other day they were saying that they want in passports male, female and other like you know, somebody was saying the other day that they want at birth that doctors shouldn't tell you that this is a boy or a girl and we were going to the time right now you go to the shops, upstairs flow, men clothing, second flow female clothing I'm sure 4050 years down the line there's not going to be no flows for men clothing of human everything will be just like right now is what I went to once to a shop I said you know

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this guy asked for a particular clothing is this like I don't know what it was is a male shoting females know for male and female both where it is so many clothing male female. Men are dressing like women. Women are dressing like men. Gender roles are mixed up. The man is losing his masculinity. So we've got now a man who dresses or acts who talks who behaves like half partially woman and you've got a woman who acts and behaves and wears clothing.

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I commend you had a perfect marriage that alone made man and woman now you've got a half man and a half woman marrying a Half Men and half woman is going to be a problem in a marriage.

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Sorry to be frank but that's one of the reasons why we have problems. So Allah subhana wa tada or the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam is telling us this in this hadith.

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Your women are different. They are very gentle, very fragile. Think about it. They you need to treat them honorably. You need to treat them Keeping this in mind that they are very gentle but very fragile. They're like this rib and you benefit from them. And this is why we have to understand that they are fragile and

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Until they are considered and I was talking about there are many differences. So the man before I'm talking about the young people think about this, that when you before you get married, understand how a woman thinks how a woman talks, go to go to somebody elderly, someone experienced talk to your parents, and I really advise the parents that don't just marriage is not Oh, my son or Mashallah go down and get married. nikoli mothers didn't sit down with your son, you've got experience of 50 years, 40 years of marriage, you as a father beta said, Look, you're going into a next phase of life. This phase of life is a very, very difficult phase of life. There are ups and downs. There are

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struggles, there are Mujahidin, there are striving there's a lot of striving, there's hardships along the way. This is what you will expect. You need to do this this way. You need to do this that way. Explain. Talk to them. Tell them women this differences. You know, women, for example, a lot of young people I tell them they don't before marriage, someone needs to tell you this, there are differences. A woman for example, talks metaphorically, she know this a man talks, happy cotton.

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A woman your wife tells you you've never taken me outside to the restaurant. what she means is can we go today?

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You've never taken me and the man is baffled. Last week I took you

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compared to you. I've never take me like two weeks ago, but for her two weeks is never she talks like that's the way no problem. You just think yes. She doesn't mean that.

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Because they talk like that. women when they have hardships or struggles or when they have something on their mind.

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They like to

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the come to the husband's. This happened that happened just talking about this, you're talking about that? There has been things have been like, Okay, this is you can solve it like you just do this. This telling your to our story, and you're thinking okay, but what's the big deal? Okay, just don't find her anymore finish. If this happened, okay? Don't talk to her anymore. But then she No, no, you don't understand. She doesn't want you to give her the solution that don't talk to anymore. She just wants you to listen with sovereign patience. That's it.

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Because a woman listens and control for two hours. So now if you're not going to listen to her, then she'll pick up the phone and she'll talk to a friend for two hours. Oh, that happened? Oh, okay. This long. But the husband doesn't have the sababa like, I can't tell you and if you it's difficult I know brothers own brother as well. It's

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it's difficult. Just, you know, maybe I think of Messiah in my head. Yeah, I'm just working on some guitar or something. I just I just handled I really that's what happened. But when you get caught out, then you get caught up. I'm just thinking about some muscle or some or somebody Okay, that guitar was reading and I'm saying Okay, so, really, that's what happened, but my mind is somewhere else.

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You just have to listen and I listened to a bit but it's difficult sometimes. But you have to like I tell the young people if you want to remain married, you have to get deployment. The great you have to be the greatest politician or not like Donald Trump, but you have to go

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You have to be a cabinet plus politician.

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To remain married, you have to be a good politician, a diplomat. And this is why we have to understand that Allah subhanaw taala has given these rights to women are the you know the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said he'll be the LA Ameen. dounia Kumar sutra. Three things were made beloved to me from your dunya and one of them he said, women which means that he loves the qualities of women. This is what the meaning of the Hadith is women there are beautiful creation of a last minute tada you know the very gentle creation of a last panel. It's the men sometimes who make them ugly because the way men deal with them and then they lose their beauty because of the way men have

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been treating them. It's very easy to treat women and you know make them beautiful and make them more gentle and make them you but you have to have tact. praise your women. Praise You women women you know I always say women are like laying sugar tumblers even

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if you understood this women are like what 40 odd women are like to see the nickel. If you do sugar I'll give you more. You she cooks your biriyani subhana wa sokola amazing biryani there's no one on planet earth who makes biryani like you tomorrow you'll get two plates of video

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you just have to live alas his name shaker tunas eaten a commercial thanks to me. I give you more. That's with women as well just praise them. You don't have to spend anything to praise them and do to the right intention. I was just joking about the diplomas you know just but you know with the right intention with your heart. tell you why.

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Look, you know what, I go everywhere I tell my wife I go everywhere in the world but I just don't like the food. You know, it's just I come back home and that's it. You know the food here I missed the food and and then when I'm going that day the preparation is happening and starting and you know because as I keep on saying this, there's no one who cooks like you and never tell your wife that your mom cooks good as well. I never tell you mom though your wife cooks good. You have to be a diplomat, the man in the middle between. I normally say a fortunate man is he who has an understanding mother and understanding wife