How The Prophet Influenced Those Around Him & How You Can Too

Bismillah al Rahman al Rahim Al hamdu Lillahi Rabbil Alameen wa sallahu wa sallim wa barik ala Nabina Muhammad wa ala alihi wa sahbihi. As you may know, my dear brothers and sisters are Sudan, why the Como rahmatullahi wa barakaatuh, I'm want to pick up on where Jeeva left off. And that was talking about Sheikh Mohammed, the Shetty for the Himalaya and a personal interaction that I had with him. So I graduated from the Islamic University of Medina. And I came back to Canada in December of 2008. And it was really fascinating Subhanallah a lot of people assume that when you graduate from the Islamic University of Medina, you automatically know what you're going to do in

life and how things are going to fall into place for you. But that couldn't be further further from the truth for myself, spinal I had no idea what I wanted to do, I had no idea what the future held. And I was really confused as to what steps to take, should I go and pursue a master's degree in Montreal? Should I start working in my local Masjid? Should I, you know, try to make a mockery of a full time career? You know, what should I be doing at that time, and keep going back and forth. Subhanallah, the anxiety just kept on building up day by day, till the time eventually came where I was struggling to sleep. And I would just lay in bed and I'm like, Yeah, Allah, I need you to guide

me as to what I should be doing. SubhanAllah. So Sheikh Mohammed at that time, he had organized a very small retreat with some brothers, and how and I was fortunate enough to get invited to that. So in that retreat, you know, I spoke to him and I told him about the anxiety that I was having. I'm like, Look, you know, no one laid down a path for me, in terms of what I should be doing. I feel like I'm on my own now. You know, what advice do you have for me? So he, we sat down, it was like a late night conversation at like, 11pm SubhanAllah. And he started speaking about his own experiences, and started telling me what his life was like when he came back from Medina, and the

mistakes that he made that I could possibly avoid. And then at the end of it, he says, Look, in March, I'm going to be hold, holding this life coaching certification program, why don't you come and attend? And at that time, I didn't know much about what life coaching was, this is March of 2000. Well, this probably like in February or January of 2009. And the certification was into that was in March. So he's like, okay, sure, tell me more. And he's like, you may not you may not find the clarity that you need, in terms of your own life, but at least you'll be able to help others after. And that line of you may not find clarity in your own life, but you'll be able to help others

after that, like, turn the light bulb off, and I'm like, Allahu Akbar, what a noble purpose in life that is that if you can live a life, where you're able to help others, what more could you want? Now, the mistake that I made, was before I attended the life coaching, certification, I went online. And I was like, Okay, what is life coaching, and you see, like, all of these articles from all over the place, some of it was good. It was like, you know, it's transformative. And you know, is one of the best things that you can do dedicate your life to helping yourself and to helping others focus on self development, focus on your linguistic programming. And that was like, wow, this is amazing.

But then you have the exact opposite. And that was SubhanAllah. Very scary for me, in terms of, you know, life coaching is a sham. It's pseudo science. It's not real. And people are just out to get your money. And I was explaining Allah, you know how he Sheikh Mohammed Rahim Allah, you're going to be handling this. So attending it, I went in with very mixed feelings. But by the end of it, some amazing things happened within the heater. So let me share with you those amazing things that happened. Number one, was that I eventually realized that my fear of wanting to become an Imam was baseless. Because the fear that had said into me was that if I become an Imam, I will be abused, I

will be overworked. I will not be respected, and I'm going to burn out. And that was a story of a lot of Imams and Sheikh Mohammed Rahim, Allah had experienced that himself. But the solution I found was actually later on in 2011. Or actually wanted to maybe even 2010 I don't remember the exact dates right now, when I attended ni Shiro and initial Sheikh Muhammad taught us the importance of working with good people and working with like minded people. So it came to the realization, the way to get around this fear of being an Imam, which I was naturally, you know, becoming qualified to do in my time in Medina, was the fact that I just needed to find a good team to work with an admin that

I can trust that would empower me as opposed to put me down, that would treat me as a colleague as opposed to an employee, and would basically give me all the support that I need to make positive change within the community. Number two, was I actually went through a very difficult time against Panama as an imam. This is probably around 2015 where the community is going through a lot of challenges with their youth, like a lot of bad things are happening to the youth Subhanallah some are ending up in criminality, so many gangs somewhere dying Subhanallah and a lot of bad things are happening. And there's a lot of pressure on me in terms of coming up with a community response to

protect our youth. Now, at that time, I had

haven't done much youth counseling per se. I've done some marital counseling. I've attended some conflict resolution programs, some marital dispute resolution programs, but I don't really have any experience with youth programming. So I was like, okay, what can I do. And then I remember going back through my life recertification binder, and in the binder, and I hope this is still there, it speaks about a modern day approach, like Maslow's hierarchy of needs. And that's the simplest way that I could approach it. So it has this tear, that what do human beings need in life, human beings need love and recognition. So some people will naturally be more, you know, empowered by love some

people naturally more by recognition, then you need certainty and adventure, everyone needs a certain amount of certainty in their lives, everyone needs a certain amount of adventure. So certainty, meaning that you need to know that your home is going to be there every day when you come home from work, that your family is going to be there to love you, and so on and so forth. And then the adventure, the simplest way to phrase it is that you can eat the same thing every single day, for every single meal can you write, you need some change in your life. So you need some sort of sense of adventure, going out exploring, doing different activities, socializing with people

experiencing new things. And then last, but not least, every human being needs some sort of contribution and growth, so need to be contributing to society, and they need to feel that they're growing. And as long as these six things are present, the human experience will be a positive one. But if any of these things are lacking or missing altogether, then you'll see that experience starts to deteriorate. So now that I had this pressure on me to develop this youth program, I'm like, Okay, let's take these six things, and see how we can use them to create a program. So we created this program that focused on volunteering, and they are in a gratitude was established, and people were

very, very thankful. A lot of them received a love that they had not received in their lives before, because we were visiting senior citizens homes SubhanAllah. And it was like a, you know, grandparent type relationship, where you get this unconditional love. They were growing as they were learning more about their deen and learning more skills in life. They were contributing because they felt that they were giving back because we all we used to do those regular activities, like the senior citizen home, like the Calgary drop in and rehabilitation center.

And then we also did like big projects like blood drives, and city wide cleanups. So there was this concept of them even being recognized thereafter, when articles and pictures were released spine, Allah. So that became a very positive experience and Hamdulillah I think, hide Allah subhanaw taala not send me to that life certification program, I wouldn't have picked up on those cues, I wouldn't have picked up on those cues. And then the third and last thing that I benefited from that life certification program, was just the way that you interact with people. You know, often when you interact with people, you don't recognize the importance of building rapport with them. And this can

be sitting in the same way that they are posturing yourself in the same way that they are smiling when they smile at you putting your arms in the same way, you know, pacing yourself in the in the same tone and in speed that they're speaking in. And that is how you naturally build rapport. And I'm going to be building on some of these topics within the heats either. And then also in terms of what is the framework that you can use to help people and that is I think, where we will be getting to into the the crux of this. How did the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam actually influence people? Right? What were the things that he used that we can benefit from, be in Allah, He to Allah,

and that's going to be the crux of our discussion today. So let's start off with a verse from Surah Toba where Allah subhanho wa Taala tells us so eloquently and beautifully locka Jia kumara solo min and fusi comb as he is on Allah Hema, I need to hurry soon are they convenient? Momineen are all for Rahim that Allah subhanho wa taala. He tells us towards the ending of sorts of Toba the second to last ayah or just the beginning of the endings Pinilla. He tells us there has come to a messenger from amongst yourselves, it is severe upon him the pain that you feel, and he desires the utmost benefit for you. And he is certainly with the believers, compassionate and merciful. So now the

Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam has given up this is given this amazing introduction to us, that there is come to us a Prophet from amongst ourselves, meaning that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam knows our pains, knows the thing that we become pleased by and he also knows our culture. He also knows where we are coming from. So the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam while he was from the Arabs, he wasn't sent to like parts of the world that he wasn't familiar with and he didn't know there

customs, but he was sent primarily to a people that he knew them inside and out and they knew him. Now why is that important? Why is that important? So that you can help benefit them and utilize your knowledge of the people to understand where they are coming from, the language that they speak, and also the things that they like and dislike, so that you can influence them in the right way. Now, how did the Prophet salallahu alayhi wa sallam do this? So there's a few things that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam did to build rapport that are very, very important. So the number one thing that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam did to make people feel comfortable, was that he

was always smiling, right Abdullah in the Hadith or the Allahu Anhu. He narrates that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was always smiling, and disarming people with a smile is one of the most effective things that you can do. So someone's going through a tough time, someone really doesn't want to open up, one of the best things that you can do is just smile, right? Smile and engage with them and talk to them. And the smile naturally disarms people. Number two, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, when someone would give him salaams, as he was walking, he would turn around to them completely, and give them their his undivided attention. So as he turns around completely, and

gives them their undivided attention, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam is making them feel as if they're the most important person in the world right now. And that's another thing that needs to be done. Like, have you ever been in a situation where you're sitting with someone, and then as you're talking, they're like, sitting on their phone, checking their messages, answering emails, looking at social media, and you're like, SubhanAllah? Like, why are you doing this? Like, I feel so disrespected right now? Am I not worth your time? Like, I'm so sorry, that I'm taking away from your valuable time right now. Right? Like, that's the type of sensation that you have. And that's a very

valuable point. By the way, if you are in a social environment, try to put your phones away, right? My dear brothers and sisters, let us try to develop those relationships that are in front of us, as opposed to those relationships that I'm not going to say aren't completely real, but you're not going to have as big of an impact as you would as those relationships that you have right in front of you that you can build in reality in real time. So, now I digress and move back. The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam when he did this, he made people feel as if they are the most loved people, right now, making people feel as if they're the most loved. We see this beautiful example.

I'm loving last year at the Allahu Anhu that he felt as if he was the most beloved but he wanted to hear it from the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam himself. So he asked him yada so Allah who is the most beloved person to you? And he says, Aisha Radi Allahu Allah. And he says on Messenger of Allah, I'm not referring about the women folk, but from the men. And he says her father, and then he keeps going down the list of Alma and Rathmann. And in different narrations, you know, it continues, and then he gets disheartened at that time, because he genuinely felt that he was the most beloved person to the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, why did he feel that? He felt that because the

Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam gave him undivided attention, and tried to make him feel as special as he could. The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam always spoke kind words, he used to articulate himself very, very clearly. And when things needed to be repeated, he would repeat them as well. He would repeat them as well. So this is all about how the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam built rapport with people. And this is how we understand that portion of the eye. Look at the camera Shalom Minh and foresee calm, that there's come to you and messenger from amongst yourselves, meaning that he knows you best. Another way to look at this IR before we continue, is that the

Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam has gone through every single possible pain that a human being can go through. Why is that important? Why is that relevant? So the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam as a young child, he loses his father eventually loses his mother eventually loses his grandfather. Eventually he gets married. She to what are the Allahu Anhu passes away, his caretaker Abu Talib, he two passes away all of his children in his lifetime, except for for tomorrow, the Allahu anha they to pass away. The Prophet sallallahu I knew someone goes to seek help from you know his relatives in thought even his cousins and thought if we're meant to be his support now, but not

only do they reject supporting him, but they pelt him and he bleeds and he's turned away. Eventually the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam arrives into Medina, there are tribes there already. Those tribes proved to be treacherous, and do not defend the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam or the city of Medina, but rather try to eventually attack the Prophet salallahu Alaihe Salam himself and then you have the whole incidents with the hypocrites

If that was happening, that I shall not the Allahu Allah was slandered, and this horrific series of stories was released that deeply impacted the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, and time after time. The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam is going through hardship and calamity. Now, oftentimes when we study stood up, it's often emphasized that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam went through those hardships and calamity, so that he would get closer to Allah subhanaw taala and only depend upon Allah subhanaw taala. But from a psychological perspective, one of the benefits that we take away of all these hardships that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam went

through, is that when someone comes to the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam seeking advice and seeking counsel, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam has already been there and done that, right? Someone has lost a child, and comes to the process, Adam has already experienced it, someone's going through divorce, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam has already experienced marital problems, someone has lost a parent, the Prophet salallahu Alaihe Salam has been there and done that and knows how to advise them. So all of these hardships and calamities help us understand people better, so that we can help take them out of their pain. Because up and until people deal

with the pain in their lives, their productivity will be hindered. And that is why you need to focus on taking away that pain. And we'll focus on that in a little bit as well. And then the third and last thing that we focus on these hardships and calamities that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam went through, is that when you go through hardship and calamity, it helps build a deep sense of empathy. It helps you really, really be merciful and compassionate with people, because you yourself know firsthand what it was like to go through that hardship and calamity to go through that hardship and calamity. And that is why Allah subhanho wa Taala goes on to describe the Prophet

sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, Aziz en la Hema, and it to him, that it is very, very severe upon the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam the pain that you go through. So this is the deep level of empathy that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam has established. And this teaches us a very valuable lesson, then in order to truly influence people towards good. The first thing that you need to target is the pain that they experience is the pain that they experience. So for example, someone's struggling with procrastination, one of the things you'll eventually realize is that the tasks that they're procrastinating, oftentimes it may be a result of, it's too hard, they don't

understand it, or they're just not motivated by the work that they're doing. And they need to be doing something else. Right? So you get to a deeper understanding of causes of symptoms. Right? So the symptom is procrastination, what is the underlying cause? Through experience, you realize what that is? For another person? You know what? Maybe they're just constantly on social media. Why is it that they're constantly on social media, you can start off with their habits, in terms of naturally they may be going through addictions, or naturally be, you know, needing validation, they may naturally need social interaction. And they're constantly craving these things, that they're not

getting in the real world. And thus, they're referring to social media all the time. So if we can find positive things to replace them, then perhaps we can take them out of their struggle of constantly being on social media. So these are some of the things that we can look at, as that once you understand what root causes are. You can analyze the symptoms and help people get up there, their pain, and as you help them get over their pain, you can channel it to something more productive, you can channel it to something more productive. I love to give this beautiful example as we transition to this third part, that this young boy that came to the Prophet sallallahu alayhi

wa sallam, and he says Yara, sola Allah, give me permission to commit Zina. Yada Shula give me permission to commit Zina, and the Sabbath or the Allahu Anhu. Or so appalled by what this young man is asking. They try to shun him away. But the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, he says, bring him closer, he says, bring him closer. So then he asked this young man, would you like this for your mother? Would you like this for your sister? Would you like this for your aunt? And he goes through the series of questioning, and the young man is saying, no, no, no. And then the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, he asks them, how can you like this for yourself? How can you like this for

someone else's mother, someone else's sister, someone else's female relative. And then the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam places his hand on this young man's chest and he makes the dua for him. He says, Oh Allah, protect this man's chastity, cleanse this man's heart and forgive him for his sins and forgive him for his sins. And thereafter the young man never had

this temptation and this desire to commit Zina again. So if you look what's happening over here, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, he understands this man's pain. What is this young man's pain? There are two things. Number one is that he has this desire that he feels is beyond controllable. But number two, the people are shutting him away. And as people would shun people away, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam would always embrace them, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam would always embrace them. And then you notice here the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam is setting a very good example for us, that we want to be focused on helping people become the best version of

themselves. And that is what he did with this young man. That is what he did with this young man. And then the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam now creates a mechanism for this young man to use. Whenever this temptation that desire comes up. So this temptation that keeps coming up, now he can reframe it for himself is empowered him for himself. That you know what? I wouldn't like this for my mother. I wouldn't like this for any of my female relatives. So how can I like it for myself or someone else's female relatives. And then the last thing the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam did, making dua for them. This for me, is going to be the direct differentiating characteristic

between Muslim life coaching, Muslim psychology, versus conventional psychology and non Muslim life coaching. With that is that we care about people's akhira. We care about people's spiritual well being. That is one of the fundamental differences that you will find between conventional psychology and Islamic psychology and Islamic life coaching versus non Islamic life coaching, the emphasis on people's achiara and the P on the emphasis on people's spiritual well being, like the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam shows us over here. So this is a live example from the life of the prophet Sallallahu. And he was set up. So then Allah subhanaw taala goes on to tell us after a

season I the email, I need some hurry. So now they come, that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam wants that which is best for you. And subhanAllah I can't emphasize this enough, but people who live their lives, wanting the best for people, always giving people the benefit of the doubt, live such peaceful and happy lives, compared to everyone else. And I think a lot of this starts from the mindset of abundance as opposed to a mindset of scarcity. So oftentimes, when we have a mindset of scarcity, we believe that there's a limited amount of risk, a limited amount of opportunity, and anything that arises we want for ourselves, and we don't want to share it with others. But the

abundance mindset is that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam says that if ALLAH SubhanA wa taala, was to answer the dua of every human being and every jinn, this would not diminish from the kingdom of Allah subhanaw taala, except, like a needle that is dipped into the ocean, and the water that it extracts the water that it extracts, which is barely anything. So this abundance mindset, it leads you to always wanting what is best for people. Now, again, we highlight over here, wanting best for people is not just about people optimizing their lives for the sake of this life, but it is inclusive of the life of the hereafter it is inclusive of the life of the here after and that is

what needs to be focused on and that is what needs to be focused on. So when you look at all the components of a human life, yes, we have our family. Yes, we have our physical health. Yes, we have our social relationships. Yes, we have our careers, yes, we have our education, but a big component of it is our deen is our religion, right? We cannot extract that from our lives, it is integrated into our lives. So we need to make sure that when we talk about benefit, it is inclusive of the Hereafter. And this is like such an important point for parents that as a parent, please excuse me.

I'm so sorry about that. As a parent, you want what is best for your child and you will make dua that oh Allah grant them a good education. Oh Allah grant them a good job. Oh Allah grant them a good spouse. But how can you stop only at the life of this world? How can you do that span Allah when Allah subhanaw taala teaches us to say, Rob banner ads in f8 Donia Hashanah? Well Phil, karate has Santa walk in other Bernard that Oh, Allah grant is the best of this life. Grant us the best of the next and save us when the punishment of the Hellfire says a natural part of you making dua for your children. You want to be including the hereafter and you want to be including saving them from

the punishment of the Hellfire as well. So that is part of the benefit. Now, what do people actually need to benefit? Oftentimes people will say

suffer from low self esteem and from low self confidence. And we noticed that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, he did a phenomenal job in developing people's optimism. And he did a phenomenal job in helping people believing in themselves. So we have the example of Abdullah Beamish Eldorado, Allahu anhu, who was a very, very skinny man. And one day Subhanallah his leg got exposed as he was doing something. And the people started making fun of him as to how skinny his legs were like they're literally just bones Subhan Allah and the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam rebuke to these people, but also comforted of the love and Massoud in saying that even though these legs may

be skinny, in this life, they will be greater than Mount Hood in the Hereafter they will be greater than mount or hurt in the hereafter. So the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam helps Abdullah Miss o de la the Allahu Anhu believe in himself, that obviously it's normal for people to have, you know, problems with their self image, sometimes you can be not in the place that you want to be in terms of your physical appearance. And that's perfectly fine. That is a struggle that all of us will have at one point in our lives. But we need people to help us get through those challenges. And that is why having a tank that naturally complements people and naturally makes them feel good about

themselves. Not in a in a from a place of lying, but from a place of just being this congenial and friendly person all the time and being supportive of people and being encouraging of people. Right? So this is what the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam, specialized in and we see this time and time again. Now the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam and this is the last point I'll share within this section. He also taught us how to reframe things for that which will benefit us, right. So oftentimes, we get so bogged down in the nitty gritty, that we lose sight of the bigger picture. And I think the clearest example of this is a man comes to the Prophet salallahu Alaihe Salam, and he

says, Yeah, Rasul Allah, when is the hour when is the Day of Judgment going to happen? Now, you could think to yourself, you know what, that's pretty crucial information. Like if I know when the day of judgment is, I could time everything perfectly. But the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam reframes this man's frame of mind, and lets him know that look, you're not going to be able to control how everything turns out. And this knowledge will not benefit you at all, but rather, what will benefit you is what have you prepared for the Day of Judgment? What have you prepared for the day of judgment? So reframing what this man thought that he needed to what this man actually needed,

right, which was what do you prepare for the day of judgment? And subhanAllah you know, tied into this concept of helping people played on nasty on fire him the nests, that the best of people are those that are most beneficial to the people. Now come to my conclusion that I wanted to share is that the eye or concludes with Bill mania Oh, four Rahim that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam is compassionate and merciful with the believers. Now this is a takeaway for all aspects of our of our lives, in terms of relationships, that it is inevitable that we ourselves will make mistakes in the relationships that we are present in. It is inevitable, right? It is part of the

human experience. Now when we make a mistake, how do we want to be treated? We want to be treated with compassion, and with mercy. We want to be treated with compassion, and with mercy. Now, what is the result of treating others with compassion and mercy? Allah subhanho wa Taala he tells us Foliat full well you're allowed to have bone on your field Allahu Allah calm that pardon and forgive. Do you not love that Allah subhanaw taala should pardon and forgive you. So this concept of human beings making mistakes, and this can apply to ourselves, it applies to the relationships that people have, that we have with people that we have to deal with mercy and compassion, we have to deal with

mercy and compassion. How does the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam teach us to do this? Well, let's look at the case of how that had been built. Ah, and perhaps this was one of the greatest act of treason, that took place to the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, yet he treated it in such a manner, you will think that Subhanallah it wasn't that big of a deal. During the Fatah MCCA mainly deployed the companions and the prophesy Salem. They're on their way to Mecca to take MCCA back, how thip who was from the believers, he sent a letter to his family and MCCA warning them that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was coming, that they should gather their possessions and they

should disperse. So this is an act of treason. Subhanallah you're hindering the expansion of you know the this the

The state that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam has established. Now, how did the Prophet salAllahu alayhi wasallam react to this situation? The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam number one looked at this person's history. And the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam recognized that how there was a buddy, he was from the people that participated in butter. And the general rule that he had established is that anyone that participated in burden, there was almost nothing that they could do that would harm them thereafter, because their level of sacrifice and the level of commitment that they showed, so in your own relationships, look at the deep history that you have with people,

it is very easy to cut people off when you have a deep history with them. And think that you know what, let me just be done with this. But the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam teaches us that the better thing to do is to find a way to work within those problems with the deep history that you have with them. The second thing, oftentimes we're taught, don't look at people's intentions don't look at people's intentions. But over here, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam looked at how those intentions, his intentions were not malicious in the sense that he did not intend to harm Islam, or the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, his intention was to protect his family, and to

make sure that they are taken care of, and this is a noble intention. So based upon these two concepts of history and intention, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was compassionate and merciful with him. And that is what we want to try to do as well, that we want to try to be as merciful and as compassionate with people. And some of the ways that you can do that is to look at the deep history you have with them, if that is the case, and if not, try to look at their intention, their intention is noble, that will help you be more merciful and compassionate. And then last but not least, as a general rule, be merciful and compassionate. So that Allah subhana, Allah

is merciful and compassionate with you. May Allah subhanaw taala grant us Tofik quick summary of what we've learned today is that one of the greatest ways to influence change is the method that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam established, which is what building rapport with people being familiar with them being familiar with their culture as much as possible, number two, taking away the pain in their life, so that they can become more productive. And then number three, making sure that they're the best version of themselves, and they can lead to the highest level of productivity in their lives. But this is also inclusive of the hereafter. We don't just want people to be

successful in this life, we want people to be successful in the Hereafter, as well. And as we help others get to gender, we're actually helping ourselves get to gender as well. And last but not least, when people make mistakes, be compassionate and merciful. And two ways that the prophets I seldom teaches us to do this is by looking at the deep history we have with them. And then number two, looking at their noble intentions. So that's a quick summary of everything that we've taken in Allah subhanaw taala grant is self work. And I'm going to hand it over to Jeeva now to lead the discussion, Zack McClelland

just collision on it. You know, I was looking at that, and I know a lot of people are commenting about recording. And yes, we really need to get this recording to you because as I was listening to Chef, you know, almost every two to three minutes Masha Allah, he was drawing a lesson from the serum from resource, Allah Salam said Life himself throughout this entire presentation is so much for us to reflect on. And just as a personal benefit, I was just looking at it thinking, you know, I've heard some of these Hadith in different contexts before. And the way that we're able to relate it to whatever context we're choosing to study. And our focus here right now is influenced how

recently someone was able to coach people, he was a loser, London was the ultimate coach, you know, he was able to draw all those things, from his his experience with the Companions around him. But I just find it really beautiful show how you managed to wrap that up. really profound lessons there for everyone. Thank you so much. And you actually included one of my favorite descriptions of resources that I'm in within that, which actually puts a smile on my face when you mentioned that he's had he's an icon. And I just think that is one function of resources. And that has always resonated with me in that he wants good for other people and how we should always try and emulate

that. So Zack law has been such a pleasure to have you on.

So a lot of you are asking about recordings and what's happening what's what's the challenge. So let me break things down for your property. And when actually just share my screen. And I'll just give a quick introduction to what challenge is about. And then you can go ahead and sign up. Maya has been commenting how to do that so you guys can see the screen right here. So this is the rising tide challenge. So as Chuck innovate has just mentioned this, everything is mentioned in his in presentation here. We're hoping to tackle it in a bit more depth during this five day challenge. There is a charge to the challenge. We're actually giving the proceeds to sponsor orphans. As you

can see here, we've got a number of presenters. We've got a system in Alabama, we've got our very own Rosie Hamidi, we've got Muhammad chef about Chicago Smith, and we also

Have some footage from that life coaching that show navaid Aziz have been part of that he mentioned in the presentation, we've got some footage from Sheikh Mohammed Rahim Allah that we're actually going to be presenting during the challenge. So what does this challenge mean is essentially a Facebook group that you join, and we're going to have these presentations daily, you can read through the description here. But our main agenda, you can see that we're going to be looking at emotional subconscious blocks holding you back, we're going to be looking at resources that I'm coached and mentored the Sahaba intonation builders, looking about how to bring sustainable change

in ourselves and others keys to emotional resilience and having a mind and mindset mastery. And then like I mentioned, the exclusive footage of Sheikh Mohammed Al Sharif Rahim Allah when he taught a closed room of people with in the life certification program that we have. So this is definitely something for you to join. There's a $5 charge to join it. And all the proceeds, like I mentioned, will go towards sponsoring orphans. So Maya will put the link up. And you guys can join that. In the meantime, we have a couple of questions coming through. So let me just go through those and shellshock? No, wait, if you've got some time, we can just go through them. So we have one anonymous

attendee who has mentioned that, when they are reciprocating the same in terms of blending in accordance to other people, for example, they said sit in the same pasture as they do they feel kind of hypocritical at times, like it's not their natural self. Is that okay? And what are your comments about that, which is awkward. So if you look at the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, one of the things that he did really well was to make people feel as comfortable as possible. Now, I want you to imagine if you walk into a room, you're meeting someone for the first time, and your arms are crossed, like this. And if they're sitting down, you're standing up, that is one of the most, well,

that's one of the ways that you can make people feel uncomfortable the most. That's one of the ways that you can make people uncomfortable the most. Now, let's do the exact opposite, that as they come in, you stand up, you greet them. And as they sit down, you sit down as well. And if they haven't, you cross your legs, you will naturally happen to cross your legs as well. This over here is not hypocrisy. But this is you making people feel comfortable. And we've been working on framing as part of our discussion. So the way that you frame this is that you're not doing this to influence them, sorry, you're not doing this to manipulate them. But you're rather doing this to make them feel

comfortable, so that you can influence them towards something good. And this is like the key distinction that you know, when you talk about emotional intelligence, and I really want you guys to dig into this wishek. McHale Smith, when he presents is that according to him, and I'm using his book, with the heart and mind as the foundation for this, the differentiating criterion between influence and manipulation is a moral compass, right? Is what is the intention behind doing this? Are you doing this for self benefit, then becomes a manipulation? Are you doing this for another worldly cause, then becomes a manipulation. But if it's for the sake of influencing them to improve

their own lives, and to get them to become better, then we reframe this as we're making them feel comfortable, so that we can build rapport with them, and help them become the best version of themselves. So this would not be hypocritical at all. But it's going to come down to your intention, right? And we make our intentions to help people get closer to Allah subhanaw taala and be the best version of themselves. And in sha Allah, this actually becomes an activity by the for us, right, whoever makes the believers feel comfortable, then this becomes an act of Heba, Bismillahi Tada, and Allah knows best circle a higher share. So another question that we've had, I believe it's from the

same attendee. Okay, I'm a bit confused about the beginning of your question, but they basically said sometimes empathizing by saying you can go through it, because it doesn't sit too well with the other person by saying you can also go through I think is what they mean. They think we don't understand their pain. How do we deal with that? Is it a sign that other person wants pity and not empathy?

Maybe they can clarify that question. I don't know if you understood something from that. It was the first sentence that I did not Yeah, sorry. Go ahead, like pay attention, can rephrase it. We'll try and attempt it. We've got another one from the Adeeb who says, someone Aiko? How do we balance compassionate and forgiving with need for punishing people for serious crimes?

Excellent.

Firstly, why they come to Sudan while having to live will occur to a deep desire for asking your question. Now, there's a time in place for punishment and there's a time in place to be merciful and compassionate. So firstly, let's establish this rule that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam never sought revenge for himself. But he only got angry when the laws of Allah subhanaw taala were not treated sacred they were of the laws of Allah subhanaw taala were violated. And I think that's one of the differentiating characteristics that our anger should be for the sake of Allah, and not for the sake of ourselves as much as as possible, right? So that's what we're striving for. Meaning

from time to time you will get angry for yourself, and that's inevitable, but what we want

Under strike force to get angry for the sake of Allah subhanaw taala. So now when it comes time to punishment, you want to make sure that number 1am, I actually supposed to be the one that's supposed to be punishing this person? Or is that supposed to be something that's meant to be dealt with a judge with a kadhi within the authority, and so on and so forth. Like, we're not always meant to be the people that are meant to reprimand people, right? Unless you're talking about your children or someone that's under your care and supervision. But then we also wanted to reframe that. Why is punishment legislated? Right? Why is punishment legislated? It is to help people reform. So now, if

you're looking at a situation where someone has done something wrong, we want to look at what are the best methods to help them reform? Right? What are the best methods to help them reform, sometimes it may be through anger, and maybe through punishment, and may be through discipline. But at other times, and this is where I think the majority of the cases will be, they're going to be through love. They're going to be through empowerment, they're going to be through education, they're going to be through, you know, validating people's experiences, and all those sorts of things right. So that's where you want to look at number one, what was the violation that took place

is IT personnel is it for the sake of Allah subhanaw taala. Number 2am. I really the one that needs to be doing the reprimanding over here. Number three is that if I'm meant to be doing the reprimanding, I need to look at actually what is going to be the most beneficial thing to do for reforming this individual. And that may not actually be reprimanding, it actually may be, you know, focusing on a variety of other things. And then last but not least, if it does come down to reprimanding, we want to make sure that the punishment fits the crime, right. So you want to make sure that you're doing something that number one is actually allowed. Number two is not exaggerated

in terms of a response. And number three, the focus is always helping this person reform, that has to be the ultimate goal. So those are just some points to keep in mind. And Allah Subhana Allah knows best, just like Lakeisha. Just before we move on to the next question, I just wanted to clarify a few things. So no, this isn't the rising tide challenge just now that actually starts next week. And it's something you need to sign up for separately. If you've already signed up, this is just a bonus for you, we wanted to make sure you guys had access to that. And with regards to the Facebook group access, it is an essential part of the challenge, there's actually more to the

challenge than just the presentations that take place on the five days. And so the Facebook group really adds to the sense of community, there's a lot of people that share different learnings that they've had from the challenge, it's a really good community to be to be a part of. So I would definitely agree with what Meyer said there, maybe create a temporary account and just have it just for the challenge. And then you can close it off again. But it's definitely something to consider if you have already joined. And yes, I would love for somebody if you want to share your notes. If you can do that in the challenge group as well. That would be brilliant. It would be really good to get

that recap that shift navaid gave. So just a question. Well, there's a couple of questions you should innovate. And I think they kind of summarized in the same kind of the same contexts where dealing with non Muslims or in an environment that isn't, I guess, Islamic in terms of this certain etiquettes that aren't from our deen and from our culture, and how to deal with some of these things when it comes to influence and being the person who can, you know, assert that influence that somebody's mentioned about, you know, in the workplace, like refusing to shake hands with the opposite gender, those kinds of things. But I think it also applies to the greater context of

dealing with, you know, different communities that we're all a part of excellent family, this is a great discussion. So I'll add to this number one, it's always important to understand what your own boundaries are, so that you can articulate to them to others. So for example, you know, this issue of shaking hands, if I know I'm going into a situation where I haven't interacted with this person before, and we're going to be meeting in person for the for the first time, I actually send them an email in advance that, hey, I just want to let you know that before we actually meet, you know, these are my boundaries, please don't take it personally. This is just the way I develop

professional relationships. And you know, I want our relationship to thrive and survive. So that is why I wanted to express my boundaries, I hope that you can do the same, and that we were all on the same page as we work together for the first time. So articulating your boundaries and knowing what they are is a major game changer, right? So you have you yourself, have to know what your boundaries are, so that you can articulate to them. Number two, is that we can still want to good for non Muslims. I think this is what's important to understand, we can still want to good for non Muslims and in fact, we should want good for non Muslims. What is the proof of this is that when non Muslims

sneezed in the presence of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, he wouldn't make dua for them, he would say yeah, decom Allah who was to the whole Bala comb, that May Allah guide you, and maybe rectify your worldly affairs, so anything with regards to the dunya we're allowed to help non Muslims become the best version of themselves. And that's not a problem at all. But if you look at the beginning of this dua is yeah decom Allah right May Allah guide you

As a part of your coaching experience as a part of you helping them, you want to make sure that you're trying your utmost best to represent Islam in the most professional and best way. Number two, let them know that the source of your knowledge, the source of your mercy, the source of you know, pretty much everything that you do is your Lord and the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. And then when possible, see if you can open up a discussion about their faith if you can, if you feel even qualified to do this. If not, you know, feel free to reach out to your local Masjid your local Dharma organization, and connect them with this person if this person is interested. But the key

thing is the intent that you always want. What is best for people is doing the on achiara, including the non Muslims, including the non Muslims. So I hope that helps. And Allah subhanaw taala knows best of luck. I think that actually touches on a few of the other questions that we're getting with regards to influencing, like negative or toxic people within families or kind of strange teenagers and trying to influence them to do good. I think what navaid just mentioned there about boundaries, as well as coming from a place of Rama and mercy and knowing where that source of Your Mercy is coming from, I think has actually answered that question. But if you wanted to touch on those

particular things like negative Family Members, is there anything else you would like to add? You know, Allah subhanaw taala. He tells us in the Quran, why Jana docam, the body and fits net and others to build on that we've created some of you a trial for others, will you be patient will you be patient. And I often relate this worst to family members panela, that our family members are trial for us in two ways. Number one, sometimes they become a hindrance between us and our worship of Allah subhanaw taala. So sometimes you get so distracted by looking after your kids, and providing for your kids and doing things for your kids, that they distract you from doing actual

activity by the not all necessarily always obligatory activity by them, but even recommended ones, right. And then there's the other end of this is that there are a trial in terms of their character. And they require so much attention. And they do things that are so mischievous and so troubling to you, that all of your attention is diverted to them, and you start to become angry, you can't sleep you can't eat, you know, it's a it's a very troublesome relationship. So all that to say, once you understand this reality is inevitable that your family members are a trial for you, either trial of gratitude or other trial of patience. Allah subhanho wa Taala poses the question of those to be

alone will you actually be patient whether you actually be patient patients doesn't not mean that you tolerate abuse, patience does not mean that you will validate sin, right? Patience just means that you do not do anything Haram as a response that you do not do anything Haram as a response. So now, in these sorts of situations, you actually look at, am I in a situation where I can help this troublesome relative? Am I in a situation that I can help this troublesome relative? If I cannot, then there's nothing wrong with me withdrawing myself, and we're not talking about cutting off communication, we're just talking about limiting communication, and limiting communication. Number

two, always make dua for people, particularly your family members. If they're going through hardships and calamities, we may not be able to help them physically, but at least that we can do is oh Allah guide to them. Allah make things easy for them, Oh Allah, bless them, Allah have mercy upon them, and so on, and so forth. And then last but not least, if there's any harm involved, there's nothing wrong with even taking temporary space back, restructuring, refocusing, re centering, building your strength, building your resilience, and then coming back to the table at that time, right. So those are just some general guidelines that I can give. Because obviously, we're not

speaking about anything specific. And Allah subhanaw taala knows best. Does localization. Actually, that was a very thorough answer. I think that actually covered a lot there. And you described it as general. But I think a lot of people are really resonating with those points that hamdulillah it's been such a pleasure to have you on it's such a pleasure to have all of our attendees on just as a recap here, just to let you know that the challenge is starting the rising tide challenge next week, it's Monday through to Friday, we'll have sessions within the Facebook group that you'll get access to, as well as other bonuses and things along the way. It's a $5 subscription, which goes towards

sponsoring orphans in sha Allah. And then there's many other announcements that we'll be making next week and everything that Chef navaid mentioned in his presentation, we're going to be looking at it more in depth and I would love to have Chef navaid actually on as we develop our coaching program further is something I'm definitely going to speak to the team about mashallah you have been a student of Sheikh Mohammed but also your own practices and your own experience over the years is really coming through and we're really appreciative of it. So everybody I'm just not gonna hide for joining. Please do join

In the challenge and be sure to reach out to our support team if there's any issues with regards to payments or scheduling or anything like that. Meyer who is here from the Discovery support team will be more than happy to help and shift and evade. You've got an invitation to visit the UK here and one of the comments and I extend that

you back on British soil. It's been a great to have everyone joined us Accola Hi, everybody. Thank you for making the time and until next time As Salam aleikum wa rahmatullah wa barakato. Why did he come say hello and welcome to Allah he will