Mufti Menk – Three parts of Life

Mufti Menk
AI: Summary © The speakers discuss the importance of achieving a state of strength and growth in life, with three phases and individual goals. They stress the need to practice healthy eating, respect one another, and learn to be the best character. They also emphasize the importance of communication and setting aside time for prayer. The speakers emphasize the need to teach children to respect their families and not give small talk. They emphasize the importance of learning to be the best and connecting character and personality in relationships.
AI: Transcript ©
00:00:01 --> 00:00:03

Salam aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa barakaatuh

00:00:06 --> 00:00:16

smilla rahmanir rahim In the name of Allah subhanho wa Taala Most Gracious, Most Merciful Alhamdulillah wa salatu salam ala rasulillah who Allah Allah He was happy and

00:00:17 --> 00:01:02

we praise the Almighty Allah subhanho wa Taala The one who created us the one who nourishes, cherishes, provides protects the one who kills the one who is in absolute control of every aspect of our existence. We praise Him we send blessings and salutations upon all the messengers of the Almighty those who were sent to us as a gift in order to remove us from the darkness and take us into the light. May Allah Subhana Allah Allah bless them all. We send blessings and salutations upon Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, his companions household and May Allah bless every one of you. May Allah alleviate the suffering you may be going through May Allah subhanho wa Taala grant you

00:01:02 --> 00:01:22

cure from the diseases you may be having, or the sicknesses you may not be knowing that you have. May Allah grant you good health May Allah grant you blessings in your wealth in your families. May Allah grant you blessings in your health, your wealth, your families, and in your entire existence.

00:01:23 --> 00:01:25

Mashallah, that was quite loud.

00:01:27 --> 00:01:40

Normally, the response is quite no but when I decided to make a draft for you started hitting harder louder Mashallah. May Allah bless us truly May Allah subhanho wa Taala grant us Oh, goodness, I mean, I mean,

00:01:42 --> 00:02:28

my brothers, my sisters, I want to remind you that life is not longer than 70 years on average, the Hadith the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam says amo Mati, Medina, sistina illa, Sabine, the average lifespan of the members of Miko meaning you and I, as our generations nowadays, is not, or is sorry, is between 60 and 70 years, that's the average, some places it's less some places, it's a little bit more, but this is the average. So if we take a look at that amount of time, it is very, very little, it is so little Subhanallah, very little.

00:02:30 --> 00:02:40

Whereas the day of judgment will be so long, the day of judgment will be so long, Allah describes it by saying,

00:02:41 --> 00:02:43

Come see in alpha Center,

00:02:45 --> 00:03:11

the one day will be equivalent to 50,000 years of the years of this worldly life. Which means if you were to divide, do a little bit of division, you will realize that 70 years of our lives, is actually a minute or two of the Day of Judgment.

00:03:12 --> 00:03:37

Not even, it's even less. And if you were to look at the days of the hereafter after the Day of Judgment, so we have our days made up of 24 hours. And then we have the Day of Judgment made up of 50,000 years of the 24 hours that we have. And then we have after the day of judgment when people go into the hereafter. The Quran says, What?

00:03:49 --> 00:03:53

Indeed, V days

00:03:54 --> 00:04:09

with your Lord, here speaking of that, after the Day of Judgment, are equivalent to 1000 years of what you have your year of your Subhana Allah years.

00:04:11 --> 00:04:46

And facility one day equivalent to 1000 years of yours. So our life span would be a small fraction of 50,000 or a fraction of 1000. It's nothing it's not much very little I on earth for such a short space of time. That itself proves that you are on a mission. You're on a mission. So go back to find out what the mission is you find in Surah Baqarah. Allah tells the angels in the Quran, what is

00:04:53 --> 00:04:55

she'll be funny.

00:04:57 --> 00:04:59

Remember when Allah told the angels that are

00:05:00 --> 00:05:13

I am going to place on a fairly fast What's the meaning of Khalifa one of the meanings of the term is those who come one after the other, those who come one after the other.

00:05:14 --> 00:05:58

So when Adam alayhis salam, the first of humankind came, he did not live forever, he lived for his period of time. And after that, he passed away and others lived. And when they were born, they were obviously requiring attention far greater than when they grew up a little bit. And thereafter, they do grew older and passed away, leaving behind others who then continued and so on, and so on, until it came to us. So the plan of Allah subhanho wa Taala is you will be born there will be a space of time for you to grow up, then there will be a space of time

00:05:59 --> 00:06:00

at your peak.

00:06:04 --> 00:06:06

And then there will be a space of time

00:06:08 --> 00:06:14

when it will be beyond that, you will start preparing for the next generation.

00:06:16 --> 00:06:18

That is very interesting. Let's go into the

00:06:19 --> 00:06:20

we find it so what

00:06:23 --> 00:06:26

Allah Subhana Allah says, Allah,

00:06:27 --> 00:06:27


00:06:29 --> 00:06:31

Barfi, Masha Allah,

00:06:43 --> 00:06:56

Allah has created men in weakness, when you were born you when you were so weak, you required the attention of those around you had they not attended to you, you would have not survived

00:06:58 --> 00:07:49

reality. So Allah created you in weakness, and after that, he let you get to a stage of strength, the peak, you all know the peak when you feel Subhanallah strong and energetic and no pains, no health matters nothing. And after that Allah says after that energetic period of strength, we then dropped men, you know, when you get to the top of the mountain, we dropped you down once again. And he grew gray hair and at the same time became weak once again. So divide your life into three, say 60 years is 60 years are divided into three, just on average, we are not going to use precise amount of years because each one difference. We're just using an average

00:07:50 --> 00:08:11

60 divided by 320. Did you know and this is something very interesting, very important. Did you know for the first 20 years of your life, your parents are taking care of you. And they are looking after you you are growing up the second 20 years of your life.

00:08:13 --> 00:08:40

You are living your life, the third 20 years of your life, you are preparing for others to live their life. Let's say that again. The first 20 years of your life, someone is preparing you to live your life. Right? The second 20 years of your life, you are living your life, the third 20 years of your life, you are preparing someone else to live their life when you live.

00:08:43 --> 00:08:49

Have you thought of it that way? So in essence, How many years did you actually live your life?

00:08:51 --> 00:08:52

20 years

00:08:53 --> 00:09:07

approximately, because the first 20 years you couldn't really do much you had to do what your parents said. And then you grew a little bit older and you were struggling to find yourself you learn this and you learn that nowadays they try to keep us in school in college until we get to 40

00:09:08 --> 00:09:13

they try because now you're a cabbage you come out and that's it over life is finished.

00:09:14 --> 00:09:29

And the kids want to start their lives at 1213 when my daughter was nine she was almost taller than me. And when she reached out she was much taller than me. So Pamela and I'm looking two years old. So

00:09:31 --> 00:09:34

I used to teach saying putting fertilizer in your shoes.

00:09:35 --> 00:09:40

But that's what's happening. I don't know if it's Kilonzo genetically modified food or what's going on.

00:09:41 --> 00:09:59

But that's the reality. But at 20 Mashallah you get married and so on. You're living your life before you know it. You have babies who have children may Allah bless those who do not have children with children. And I want to pause for a moment to honor them. Those who don't have children, I need to pause for a moment to honor them.

00:10:01 --> 00:10:47

Let me tell you why. Allah has perhaps chosen for you something far greater. Allah knows something that you don't know. So he's given you your gift that is different. Maybe he wants to use you to serve in a different way. Perhaps he wants you to earn paradise through burying the patience and you will continue trying. There's no harm in trying and you will continue praying. We learned about zecharia sallam, when he told Allah subhanho wa Taala Allah, I'd love to have offspring. Bless me with the office, he kept calling out to Allah, Allah gave him at a certain stage, so don't lose hope. When we talk about children. We do have the back of our minds in the back of our minds, the

00:10:47 --> 00:11:00

fact that there are some and the growing number who don't have children. May Allah bless you with children. May Allah bless you with those who will be the coolness of Your eyes say I mean on behalf of those

00:11:04 --> 00:11:20

so Subhanallah you have children just after 20 something I hope inshallah maybe 30 you know, I told you yesterday that I'm about to be a grandfather Didn't I say that? Mashallah. And I wasn't lying. So Panama

00:11:21 --> 00:11:22

I wasn't lying.

00:11:25 --> 00:11:37

I started off very early Mashallah, we really impatient lot by the will of Allah subhanho wa Taala. Allah subhanho wa Taala help us and grant us guidance and ease. So I wasn't lying. It doesn't make me

00:11:39 --> 00:12:21

old in terms of figures, but it makes me old in terms of title, Mashallah. In terms of title, you know? So getting back to what we are saying you've got 40 and 40. What's happening? You busy looking after children, young ones, they're growing, perhaps adolescence, maybe in their teens, if you're lucky. And what happens is, you are now preparing them you train people earning when they earn you ask them, What are you earning for, they will all tell you where any because we would like our children to have a comfortable life. That's what they see. That's what they say. Don't worry, your children come with their sustenance, they come with their own given from Allah subhanho wa Taala

00:12:22 --> 00:12:33

Mashallah, it's noble that you're trying. While you are trying, don't do that which is prohibited in order to try and set your children or settle them.

00:12:34 --> 00:12:42

Make sure it is legal in the eyes of Allah subhanho wa Taala. So then there comes a time when you are

00:12:44 --> 00:13:00

ready to leave. But if I were to ask those who are 60 years old here in this gathering, are you ready to leave? They will say no. If I were to ask 70 years, you ready to leave? No. 80 years, you're ready to leave? No 100 years, you ready to leave? No, who wants to leave nobody.

00:13:01 --> 00:13:26

So hi, Mama. But Allah says you are in a better place before you came here. And you will be in a much better place after you leave. It's my plan that you need to go. You have to go sometimes, and you will agree with me. Sometimes we lead our lives in such a way. Okay, let me not say we because we're still young, right? Sometimes the older people carry on in such a way that some young people are forced to say,

00:13:30 --> 00:13:37

oh, When is she Ready to go? You know what she's been doing in this household? She's running amok. They always said Muslims are terrorists.

00:13:40 --> 00:13:53

Allah forgive us. May Allah subhana wa, tada, forgive us. But people actually pray for the death of their parents. Did you ever know that Mallanna was very loud in Ghana, I won't forget that.

00:13:58 --> 00:14:30

Okay, people actually pray for the death of some others who are a little bit older because they become problematic. And this is why we say sometimes when there is a generation gap, you know, before a generation gap used to be 40 years now, it's just a few years is a big generation gap. Because if you cannot use Instagram, Snapchat, telegram, Whatsapp, Facebook and everything all at once you belong to the 16th you belong to the 16th that's what the kids say. That's what the kids say. Now Allah subhanho wa Taala, forgive us.

00:14:31 --> 00:14:36

You know, I had a case where we I was dealing with a young boy.

00:14:37 --> 00:14:42

And he happened to speak about his parents and his parents are roughly my age.

00:14:43 --> 00:14:59

And he says, you know, my parents, they belong to the 90s. And actually, dude, you know, we actually do in this one, I do, do, may Allah Subhana. Allah forgive us. So it's important for us to realize the gift of Allah subhanho wa Taala

00:15:00 --> 00:15:14

Allah Flan is such that we have to go inshallah, we will be going to a better place. But before we go, there is a mission we need to accomplish, what is it, that's what I want to spend the next 30 minutes speaking about.

00:15:17 --> 00:15:49

The mission is to learn, to put into practice, and to reach out to others with what you've learned. What do you learn, you've got to learn everything there is to learn. When you're young, you learn a lot from your parents from those whom you are around. And this is why those who are parents, please have meals with your children. Because table manners is something you will teach your children. A lot of us we don't know how to eat ourselves.

00:15:51 --> 00:16:08

Much anything and everything as it comes no discipline in food, eat the sweetest potato, tastiest food, not to have not thinking about whether it's healthy. You know, my dad used to always tell us, I know when I was growing up, and I didn't like the eggplant.

00:16:09 --> 00:16:25

And he says, you becoming a habit. If you want your memory to really be tough, you've got to eat this. And I believed it. I actually believed it and religiously, I used to eat it. And that day, I used to think I did better than the previous day.

00:16:26 --> 00:16:33

But that was his way of telling me some fella appreciate the gifts of Allah, you've got to eat whatever your mom cooks habit.

00:16:34 --> 00:16:37

So we used to eat. And sometimes, you know,

00:16:38 --> 00:16:44

I'm not ashamed to say, sometimes we used to have the same food for a while. So

00:16:46 --> 00:17:01

our children are luckier than us, but they are less grateful. They are less content. When we were young. We used to get hand me downs. You know, those are the shoes I wore. I used to suspect my grandfather having

00:17:04 --> 00:17:10

the shoes I Oh, I used I used to know they've come from my brother, they've come from another brother and so on, by the way we went.

00:17:12 --> 00:17:13


00:17:14 --> 00:17:19

while I was competing with my dad, so I'm sitting at 808 of my own children. I'm gonna say Mashallah.

00:17:22 --> 00:17:30

So, it's amazing how now talk about hand me downs and see what the children do.

00:17:33 --> 00:18:13

More like, hand me up. Allah subhanho wa Taala forgive us and our children. And may we be guided, they have much more in terms of material wealth. Most of us sitting here our parents probably were struggling. They were struggling to pay our school fees, I promise you. And if not our parents, our grandparents. Some of them perhaps didn't really have shoes. Like I said earlier, the clothing we shared it, we were so proud. There are people who still do this, but times have changed the majority No way, we will throw away part of our food while we're eating just because we didn't like the taste. Whereas when we were younger, forget the taste. That's food man. So it's food.

00:18:14 --> 00:18:33

You know, close your nose and eat it. Because that's what it's supposed to do to you. It's supposed to give you the nutrients needed. No. So going back to these this responsibility we have have a meal with your children have more than one meal. You are fortunate you are in Guyana.

00:18:35 --> 00:18:49

Guyana is not such a fast life, that in order to get to work, it takes you three hours and to come back from work. It takes you another three hours. And you know you're working from morning to evening. You cannot see your children, some of the first world countries that's their life.

00:18:51 --> 00:19:01

But with us, we're fortunate we can come back from work in 10 minutes, we can have a meal with our kids read our salah and worship and go back. And we're still entitled five to two we back.

00:19:03 --> 00:19:32

It can happen it happens in my country Zimbabwe. And I'm sure it can happen here as well. I've seen the place today I told some people I think it's very similar to Zimbabwe, there's not much in terms of difference besides the broccoli that I spoke about yesterday. And by the way on Instagram, you might have noticed I actually put that broccoli that we took a picture of from the end. No, I told you as we were coming in, I was wondering, there's so much broccoli in Ghana. When we came a little bit closer. We noticed no this is Amazon.

00:19:34 --> 00:19:36

So Pamela and I put that video up

00:19:37 --> 00:19:39

on Instagram one check.

00:19:40 --> 00:19:59

So it's amazing. We have so many different types of food but our children are still not grateful. You know why? We haven't taught them gratitude. That's why. So one might say I try. Wait, do you have a meal with them? Do you read your aloud before the meal so that they can follow you? Do you actually read it

00:20:00 --> 00:20:09

supplication, do you think the almighty for the meal before it and after it? Do you actually do that? No you don't, let's be honest, and guilty sometimes myself.

00:20:13 --> 00:20:28

Let's be honest, we can do better. When the next time you put something to your mouth, say Bismillah aloud. Why aloud so that your children can follow those around you can be reminded Bismillah

00:20:29 --> 00:21:00

you said the name of Allah, you are eating, thanking Allah for what you have. And then while you're eating, see, Mashallah. This is the gift of Allah. They are people who don't have food, they don't have drink, and hamdulillah This is it. The problem is we are already beyond our 20 years. And we are fighting to eat out every other day. So when the children see you cooking mother or father, I'm not saying who should cook, because just now she's Muslim might throw an egg on me from the back. But

00:21:02 --> 00:21:10

wherever and whoever cooks to eat with a smile, when your kids see that happening, they will enjoy cooking. But when we cooking,

00:21:11 --> 00:21:20

it's so sad. It's so bad. It's something it's a chore. It's something very bad. Your kids will never want to cook. I and this is a fact there was an arbitration

00:21:22 --> 00:21:41

that I was involved in. And the issue was around laziness. The mother the wife is saying the husband is lazy. And the husband is saying the wife is lazy. The husband is saying it's the wife duty to cook and the wife is saying it's the husband's duty to cook. You know what I said? I said, Okay, you guys can live.

00:21:42 --> 00:21:46

And you can eat, drink and breathe fresh.

00:21:48 --> 00:21:50

Someone has to cook, come on.

00:21:52 --> 00:21:59

And you guys are not wealthy enough to get into continental to come and cook every day. Someone has to cook, so

00:22:00 --> 00:22:35

I don't care sorted out between yourself. But do it with a smile. Come on. You cannot remain on WhatsApp and think that those fresh vegetables and cakes that appear on your screen would actually pop up into your mouth. They do those emojis By the way, emoticons By the way, the burger looks quite nice, actually. Make one just like that. It's the real thing. You solve so many problems. We always say people actually put these hearts and these kisses and these beautiful faces. But in real life, they sitting there sulking.

00:22:37 --> 00:22:46

A few years ago, I got wind of that when people started using law and they don't even laugh. All of us, including myself, were guilty of that.

00:22:48 --> 00:22:58

You know, when I went to the UK with these years, while they were these people talking, I had this one girl saying no.

00:22:59 --> 00:23:02

I heard her say no. And I'm wondering what happened?

00:23:03 --> 00:23:04

And I'm like,

00:23:06 --> 00:23:18

they actually don't laugh anymore. They just say no, they say no. So if so now we're laughing. But I'm sure if you went to a first world country, there's no time to laugh. Sometimes. You just say no.

00:23:19 --> 00:23:32

So when we say something funny, everyone says oh, I wonder what it sounds like in this hole. But that's what we've reduced our relationships to. It's got to do with an abbreviation. Our life has become an abbreviation.

00:23:34 --> 00:24:03

Extended abbreviations are dangerous. This afternoon. Someone was telling me you know regarding halal food, we are talking about halal. And the guy says, you know, there was someone who walked into a restaurant and he saw it said they halau he looked at it and he actually went in and ate things that were looking like pork and looking like bacon and everything. He just swiped whatever because he saw halau when he went out he says What was that? Because that was bacon. This was for but you have Allah He says no, the manager's name is AJ Lau.

00:24:10 --> 00:24:25

That's what abbreviations do to you. My brothers and sisters they make you consume the pork in the bacon. You better be careful. You gotta know how to read things. You've got to see things you got to make sure that everything is well and don't be trapped by ha la.

00:24:31 --> 00:24:47

My brothers and sisters, when you're cooking a meal, make sure your expression is such that you pass the baton on to the next generation. They learn from you that it is an honor to feed my spouse.

00:24:50 --> 00:24:51

It is an honor

00:24:53 --> 00:24:59

to feed my children. It is an honor. I do it with a smile. I know when to put my phone away.

00:25:00 --> 00:25:01

I know when

00:25:02 --> 00:25:06

to say no to something, I know the limit of something. And so,

00:25:08 --> 00:25:15

you know, we have a problem of people who think and to be honest, I'm going to say this because we face this problem back where I come from as well.

00:25:16 --> 00:25:17


00:25:18 --> 00:25:19


00:25:21 --> 00:25:29

we use religion when it suits us. And so we tell the women, it's an act of worship to call, you know.

00:25:31 --> 00:25:41

So she's busy like, in the kitchen, it's like she's going on and on. I mean, if it's equivalent to units of prayer, she must have made 60 units already

00:25:42 --> 00:25:46

Subhanallah and you just think it's an act of worship, blackmailing.

00:25:48 --> 00:25:58

You don't spend your entire data set the time, and therefore one hour, whatever comes out comes out some kind of law with scrambled eggs that will scramble for them.

00:26:01 --> 00:26:35

But you don't say spend your whole day they know you have to increase your acts of worship to Allah, your dilemma of the Quran, your you've got to improve your knowledge, you've got to expand, you may have to, in some cases work, you may have to do things, you have other responsibilities. Your duty and responsibility is not only one thing, so I always say, you know, yes, you may cook and yes, you should, because someone somewhere somehow has to cook because we have to all eat. So we have to do that. But you need to set aside the time.

00:26:37 --> 00:26:46

Set aside the time you don't have to waste time there. Some people enjoy it. No problem. Read your car, please. While you're cooking, inshallah, please, your food won't be bad.

00:26:47 --> 00:27:10

My brothers and sisters, the point I'm raising when our children see us do the important things with a smile, voila, he they will get used to that. We don't pray sometimes. And when we pray, it's a chore. It's a problem. We keep it to the last minute and then we rushing, they will let it speak beyond the last minute and say, Oh, no Allah, if you're lucky, some people don't even read.

00:27:12 --> 00:27:42

So if Salah is so beautiful in your heart, and the prayer is so important to you, and whenever you pray and turn towards your maker, you have a smile, you are dressed appropriately, you look fresh, and you're okay, trust me, you're passing the baton on in the correct way You follow? When you've got to read the Koran, pick it up, read aloud in the morning, even if it's 10 minutes, your children will say my mother never ever left the 10 minutes of prayer in the morning, never.

00:27:44 --> 00:27:59

They will emulate they will follow sometimes even after your day. But they know you set the example why I say this, it's connected to what I started with the 20 years, then the 20 and then the 20 average.

00:28:02 --> 00:28:14

We were given the torch by our parents, we are now consolidating what we have the next 20 living our lives and the last 20 we are handing the torch over to the next generation. And then we leave

00:28:15 --> 00:28:19

with a smile. You have responsibilities, your character, your conduct,

00:28:22 --> 00:28:32

the way we treat non Muslims, those who are not Muslims, how we treat them sometimes is ridiculous. It's not an Islamic teaching.

00:28:33 --> 00:28:38

Sometimes the way we behave with the non Muslims is so bad.

00:28:39 --> 00:28:42

Because we don't acknowledge them.

00:28:43 --> 00:28:54

We don't reach out to them. We're not clinging to them. We have a bad expression on our faces. And we expect them to think Islam is a beautiful religion. They look at us as snobs it happens.

00:28:56 --> 00:29:07

go out of your way to make sure your expression as an act of worship is brilliant. I said it yesterday. I'm repeating it because of the importance of it while like

00:29:08 --> 00:29:15

if you're sitting like even now. If you're sitting, become conscious of your expression,

00:29:16 --> 00:29:29

become conscious of it. Think to yourself, how am I sitting? You know, if you're thrown all the time you start developing these lines at an early age, you know, in your face on your face because you're sitting like this. Have you ever seen a Buddha?

00:29:31 --> 00:29:44

That's what happens and you start looking like that. But if you if you constantly have a face that has slight smile or decent expression, it's pleasant for people to interact with you.

00:29:45 --> 00:29:59

No matter how many problems they have. They look at you they start smiling, they forget their problems. They forget their issues, why? He's got a decent expression on your face. It's one of the secrets of leadership By the way, to have a good expression. Well, we need

00:30:00 --> 00:30:15

In our own homes, like I said, how we treat and reach out to the non Muslims, you need to be upgraded, honest, we are not honest amongst ourselves, we're cooking ourselves in cheating in business how,

00:30:16 --> 00:30:22

how and why. amongst ourselves, we have problems and issues we don't resolve our children are what

00:30:24 --> 00:30:27

life is about, give and take.

00:30:28 --> 00:30:33

I'm not saying compromise your principles, but learn to give and take as far as you can.

00:30:34 --> 00:30:54

It doesn't have to be your way all the time your children are watching. If you teach your children that it has to be your way all the time, because you are very stubborn in life, then trust me, they're going to be Western that worse, because you passing them around porch, you passing them a candle, that's going to burn the whole house.

00:30:56 --> 00:31:34

So my brothers and sisters, we need to improve on this in a tremendous way. The way we look at things, when you go to work in the morning, Mashallah you dress, you're so happy, you're excited, you're gone. Hamdulillah, you come back, what happens? You need to be even more excited to get back to your home, you need to show that these are my family members, they're important, you will have differences in the home. But you need to respect let me spend a moment speaking about in laws, either way, daughter in law, mother in law, son in law, father in law, in laws, whatever it is, you are all connected somehow, you just need to respect each other.

00:31:36 --> 00:31:40

And if one makes a mistake, you cannot say, right?

00:31:41 --> 00:31:52

I'm going to fix fix what you might want to solve the matter out in a good way. But how you deal with it can actually resolve it without even talking about it sometimes

00:31:54 --> 00:32:12

have a good relationship. Why is it that we're facing so many sets in the oma? That every community, every message, every society, every home, within every person, there is a problem? We're confused.

00:32:13 --> 00:32:23

Because we've lost direction. That's what it is. We need to go back to the life of the most blesses Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, take a look at his characteristics.

00:32:24 --> 00:32:49

How He spoiled his family members. When I say spoiled, I mean it in a good way. I mean, he took care of them. He made sure that they were acknowledged, he did not embarrass them in the public, like what we would do sometimes with our own children and family members in the mall. We make a scene. I remember I was on an aircraft. And there was a baby yelling and screaming, yelling. And I actually got up and went to the mother.

00:32:52 --> 00:32:53

You can imagine you can picture it.

00:32:54 --> 00:33:03

I got up and I went to the mother who was not too far. And I said Sis, I have something to tell you. She She was expecting me to say something. Keep those kids quiet.

00:33:04 --> 00:33:05

That's not what I would have said.

00:33:07 --> 00:33:14

I said system. A child will cry. But everyone will watch how you react to the child just because

00:33:17 --> 00:33:18

she was

00:33:19 --> 00:33:29

lost last four words. Did you hear what I said? The child will cry. I wouldn't mind if children cried. Yeah. But I would watch your reaction.

00:33:30 --> 00:33:34

If you kept on spanking them say Hi Mom, let him talk.

00:33:37 --> 00:33:45

If you notice, yesterday, someone was crying that depicted me saying what sallallahu wasallam, Amara Kala Mohammed and I went away because my time was up as well.

00:33:47 --> 00:34:17

And I don't doubt at all that the child was innocence. Mashallah. But I'm just giving you an example. So the children will cry how you reacted to that. I've seen people in a mall dress stepped up, you know, dressed in a proper way. Very smart. They have their children crying, and I have seen some people when their children unacceptably if it was in the country, where they had stricter rules, the parents would have been jailed.

00:34:18 --> 00:34:36

And I've seen it and I had to intervene what's going on here to do that? People watch you let the children cry. And you have a few people slightly older who cannot tolerate kids. Sometimes they might look back at you give you a dirty look. So what so what let them give you a dirty look. You know, smile back.

00:34:37 --> 00:34:41

I love I love it. You know people look at you. They give you a dirty look and

00:34:45 --> 00:34:56

they don't know what to do after that. It's a reaction. If you give them another dirty look it makes to dirty people. Why do you do that? Give them a clean look. Show them you use coconut myself.

00:35:02 --> 00:35:42

You know, I might be waiting this lightly but what law he these are very serious points. You know, I might be wording this in a light way, but that's my method. It's my way of talking. The points I'm raising are extremely important you need to learn to respect one another in the home, you need to learn to respect one another at work in the masjid, wherever you go. Even in a Muslim Islamic organization, even with the non Muslims, you need to learn to respect one another, you are human beings. Imagine if we didn't respect one another on the roads, what would happen, there will be chaos. And like I say, your children are watching everything you do, you're preparing the next

00:35:42 --> 00:36:18

generation, you know it or don't know it, you're handing the baton, you're giving the torch, you're giving the candle, make sure it is lit, well make sure the batteries have that torch other real proper ones, make sure that the baton is given properly, you know, when you are running the relay. That's exactly what happens. The baton, the baton is given to the next person, if it's dropped, he has to come back, collect it and then go to give the baton properly. That's one of the most important points, you know, you can be the best 100 meter runner in the world and your team can be the best that you can be disqualified if there is a problem with one person.

00:36:19 --> 00:36:20

It happened recently.

00:36:23 --> 00:37:03

One person there was a problem with the others lost their middle SubhanAllah. Same applies with us we are passing the baton, let there not be a problem with us less, we are to blame for the failure of the others. So this is why I said it's important for us to be inspired to do things with a smile, your duty, your responsibility. When you get back home, my brothers, my sisters, after a difficult day of work, it's not easy to put a smile on your face. But if you don't do that, who is going to do that? If you don't show enthusiasm, who is going to do if you don't help with the serving of the food who's going to do them.

00:37:05 --> 00:37:48

A lot of the homes today are like restaurants father comes, he just looks in takes the food warms it he's eating on his own little while later mother comes she's taking her little burger or whatever else it is warm it and eat it. And that's it. The children come one after the other who ate together who sat together, where is the meal, where is the learning that takes place on the table, the table manners, and the speech that happens there is worth 1000s of dollars, I promise you 1000s of dollars to be able to sit look at each other smile online he that is priceless, priceless. If you as a father looked at your daughter, your son or you as a father happened to look at your children or

00:37:48 --> 00:38:18

your parents, even though they may be older or your spouse and you just looked at him as you were eating and you smile, a genuine smile. That is priceless, priceless. That is something we lacked expressions were guilty. From today, I want to all myself included, become more conscious of your expressions they will solve or that will solve a lot of your problems. Your expression on your face

00:38:19 --> 00:38:32

no matter what. Even if you're sad or upset, try to have a decent expression and explain to those around you what is going on so that they know why that expression is not like it shouldn't be.

00:38:33 --> 00:38:39

It's very important communication. Sometimes you know someone is something and this happens a lot. By the way.

00:38:40 --> 00:38:48

Someone is sulking. And when you happen to say What's wrong? Nothing wrong. But what's wrong? No, no, nothing. Well, why are you talking? I'm not.

00:38:49 --> 00:39:00

You're gonna cause a problem just now. Because you know what you need to communicate, say, you know, something's bothering me, but I'll talk to you about it later. That's good enough. I know now why you're sad.

00:39:01 --> 00:39:07

And if someone really loves you, they will pass to you until you tell them what's going on. That's a sign of love sign up.

00:39:08 --> 00:39:14

And as soon as you tell them what's going on, they start yelling sometimes because they don't know how to deal with it. That's not a sign of okay.

00:39:16 --> 00:39:29

That's a sign of immaturity. You have to listen to people's feelings. Listen to what they have to say. They have feelings. And when you listen, don't just react immediately in a negative way digested. Think about it.

00:39:30 --> 00:39:32

Today I was telling someone you know what?

00:39:33 --> 00:39:34

With your husband.

00:39:36 --> 00:39:40

And between the two of you learn to apologize sometimes even if you're

00:39:42 --> 00:39:52

wrong. If by saying I'm sorry, it's going to solve the problem between husband and wife. either of you or both of you can say that What's wrong?

00:39:53 --> 00:40:00

May Allah subhanho wa Taala make it easy for us. The reason why I say this is because we will have lived our life

00:40:00 --> 00:40:16

in a beautiful way. And when you live your life in a beautiful way, you're automatically passing the baton on to your children to the next generation, you are fulfilling the whole purpose of your existence and that is to pass the baton Khalifa.

00:40:18 --> 00:40:19

You are

00:40:20 --> 00:40:29

those who yell and scream in their homes, if you were to marry their daughter, trust me, you will probably get yelling and screaming in your home. So be careful.

00:40:33 --> 00:40:45

Or if it was a Sunday, that's what's going to happen. If there is a man who constantly beats up his stopzilla, but it's happening, who abuses his wife, and you are to marry the son of that person.

00:40:48 --> 00:40:54

Unless you know that they are very different. You will start finding

00:40:55 --> 00:41:11

similar traits and you start getting frightened for No way. No way. Look what's going on. You know, when the goat was small, there were no horns. And now suddenly, the horns are appearing. You seen them

00:41:12 --> 00:41:27

and then they grow. And they start using them to fight. Allah subhanho wa Taala that happened to us, but that's what we do. The horns are growing and then they start using them they attack me, but I'm the one who stir up the head every day.

00:41:29 --> 00:41:36

My brothers and sisters it's very, very important. Extremely important that we develop our character I tell you why.

00:41:38 --> 00:41:40

The Hadith of the prophets of Salaam says

00:41:42 --> 00:41:47

hirooki is used to refer to the best of you. And in some narrations, he says he

00:41:49 --> 00:42:12

means the best from amongst you. So you find one day he said Cairo calm hi eurocom lately the best from amongst you those who are best to your family members beginning with your wife. That's what he says the best from amongst you are those who are best to their wives. It also means those who are best to their husbands, those who are best to their family members, because that could be included in the term. But I want to tell you

00:42:14 --> 00:42:15

in another narration, he says

00:42:23 --> 00:42:41

the best from amongst you, those who learn the Quran and teach it. So one might say there is a contradiction between the two, there is no contradiction. If you learn the Quran thoroughly, you will be the best to your spouse because your character will improve. In another narration he says he has seen

00:42:42 --> 00:42:58

the best form amongst you are those who have the best character. Look how the three are connected. They're all connected. If you have the best character, you will be the best to your spouse. If you have the Koran you are learning it and teaching it genuinely you will be the best of character because when I

00:42:59 --> 00:43:03

was asked about the character of the Prophet peace be upon him, she said

00:43:06 --> 00:43:41

his character was the heart. So there is a connection between character being the character being the best to the spouse and character being the best. Although there is a connection and a link between all of these. So this is why we say you've got to learn to be the best. This is why character is so important. The Prophet sallallahu wasallam stressed about character to the degree that Subhana Allah He even said that a person would enter Paradise due to his character and conduct.

00:43:46 --> 00:44:06

The companions were asked a question by the prophet sallallahu Sallam In fact, he was asked the Prophet peace be upon him was asked a question then oh messenger, sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, which are the characteristics of those who would enter Paradise, the majority of the people in Paradise, what would have taken them? You know what he said?

00:44:07 --> 00:44:25

Allah has two things. He says, the consciousness of your of their makeup, they were conscious of their makeup. They were people righteous people. And the second characteristic, so one of the characteristics that will take people to Heaven will be

00:44:26 --> 00:44:33

people who have Taqwa people who have got consciousness, people who are righteous. And the second one is

00:44:34 --> 00:44:36

those who have great character and conduct.

00:44:38 --> 00:44:58

They will get into paradise. When you go to Paradise you find the people Oh, this one was this one. This one a combination of both of them. And generally when you have that one law automatically you will develop. Do you know what I want to tell you? When you pray when you cover yourself when you have when you look very pious and religious it does not mean you are

00:45:01 --> 00:45:01

tell you why.

00:45:03 --> 00:45:46

Because what shows that you are truly pious is your character, how you treat others. That's what shows. So if a man is fulfilling his prayer in the first stuff, but his mouth is foul, he's lies. He has a temper. He treats his family very badly. Trust me, there is something wrong with that prayer of his it's just a show. That's what it is. And we've dealt with cases in the past where someone you really think is, you know, on a very high level, and the wife tells you, this man beats me blue. I've got medical reports to prove that this man beats me green and blue. And you say which man?

00:45:48 --> 00:46:00

This man, but that's the guy in the first stuff. Yes, that's the man. No, I can't you see, you wouldn't even believe it. I have a video of it. Okay, okay, I don't need to see the video.

00:46:01 --> 00:46:06

I don't need to see the video and you're shocked. shocked the smell

00:46:07 --> 00:46:07

that's not

00:46:09 --> 00:46:27

closeness to the almighty shows in your character and your conduct. When you are close to the almighty your character improves automatically so if your character is not good, you cannot be close to the almighty because you haven't understood that the rest of the creatures are the creatures of the same Almighty

00:46:29 --> 00:46:45

so my brothers and sisters I call on you to develop both develop your link with Allah would you make and fulfill the rights of people to good character and conduct? Make sure that this happens. Do you believe I've spoken for 45 minutes

00:46:48 --> 00:47:08

Subhan Allah Well, I have and I don't wish to continue further inshallah hope to come back sometime. inshallah to continue this beautiful discussion. I know I may have worded it in a very light way. But trust me The lessons are extremely important for all of us.

00:47:09 --> 00:47:22

My brothers and sisters, it's about time we smile more inshallah to one another. It's about time we greeted each other. It's about time we acknowledge each other. It's about time, we spoke to the rest of humankind with respect.

00:47:24 --> 00:47:37

And inshallah you'll find you will fulfill the purpose of your existence on earth in such a way that when you die, it will be the best day of yours.

00:47:38 --> 00:47:41

And this is why one of the couplets support says, Oh son of Adam,

00:47:43 --> 00:48:14

Oh son of Adam, when you came to this earth, when you were born, you came to this world crying and those around you smiling in happiness, they were overjoyed. So live your life in such a way that when you die when you leave this world, you will be smiling, and those around you will be crying at the loss aku Kohli Hara Rasul Allah wa Sallim wa barik ala nabina Muhammad was Salam alaykum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh

A lecture delivered in Georgetown Guyana at the Inspire Convention. It is based on the three categories of life and what each category entails. Practical issues mentioned with much humour. Emphasis of character development.

Share Page

Related Episodes