Taking advantage of a kind heart! say NO!

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Mufti Menk

Channel: Mufti Menk

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Episode Transcript

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Assalamualaikum my brothers and sisters, some of us are very kind hearted. Mashallah so polite, so gentle, so loving, so caring, may Allah make us that way. That's a very, very good person. And do you know what, at times people take advantage of that. So they ask us to do things. And they ask us to go to places or to consume things, or to dress in a certain way, or to do something to please them. And we know it doesn't meet our values and morals, or we're not comfortable with it, or we don't agree with it. But because of your good nature, what happens?

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You cannot say no. So you end up doing it and you regret later. The pain of saying no, is far less than the pain of the regret, that's going to come later on. Remember this? So learn to say no, even if you're kind hearted, learn to say no to excuse yourself, make any excuse that's valid, and just say no, if people are inviting you to trouble, say, No, if they're inviting you to consume something, you know, you're not supposed to be consuming, say no, the discomfort of saying no is far smaller than the discomfort later on.

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Similarly, if a person is trained to ask you to say something, do something or whatever else, it may be that you know is wrong.

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Say No, you must know how to set these boundaries. Because true friends will always appreciate the know. And they will understand your level. And in future, what they will do, they will count you out of what they know, you wouldn't do automatically because they are your true friends. But those who are uses and abuses, you know what they do, they will make sure that because of your kind heart and because of your soft nature, they continue to trample over you and upon you, such that they make you cry when you're all alone, or they make you despair, or be so depressed and stressed when you're all alone later on, because they forced you to do something you didn't want to do. Knowing that you

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wouldn't say no, because you're a kind hearted person. Have you been trapped in this way?

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If the answer is yes, it's time to go back. seek the forgiveness of Allah be a little bit stronger than you are. Say No. And say politely, but be very firm Subhana Allah, no need to be impolite. Just say look, I'm so sorry. As much as I'm kind hearted. And you can admit it, if you are new people are quite kind hearted. Mashallah, as much as I'm quite kind hearted, as much as I'm caring and loving. But this unfortunately goes beyond my

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liking, or my comfort level, my comfort zone, whatever you want to call it. In fact, not even a comfort zone, you can just say, I wouldn't like to do this. I'm not comfortable with it. That's what it is.

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And tell them if you really care for me, please don't push me to do this. I wouldn't like to take calls. May Allah bless every one of us. This is just a small piece of advice to those who are kind hearted and it's also a piece of advice to the others who have been abusing others just because they're kinda hard to stop it. Don't do that to people. If they're not comfortable with something, leave them leave them, especially if that thing is negative. And that thing is not good. Or it's not a very high level. May Allah subhanho wa Taala protect every one of us and help us to address this matter. May Allah help us to say no when we have to say no. And when people have said no to us, May

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Allah help us digest it with a smile akula Kohli ha that was salaam aleikum wa rahmatullah. But I cat