Marriage, Mahr, and Finding the One

Mufti Menk


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Bismillahirrahmanirrahim I'm going to start with the first question and if I directed to Mufti in the run up to this event lots of people were messaging me and they said it's amazing way going to come to the talk with move the man can his sons

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it was okay Masha Allah.

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How are you actually related with the

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salaam aleikum wa rahmatullah wa barakato. Our common great grandfather is Adam Alayhis Salam.

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And that's the same with all of us. So everyone who is related to Adam and Eve, mashallah, nonetheless on a more serious note, how do you think we're related?

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Or do you see similar features? So?

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You do?

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Definitely the law, the voices as well. Yeah, guys. Mashallah, Mashallah. So if they said sons, they would technically not be wrong, but they wouldn't be absolutely accurate.

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So we are six brothers. We are six brothers and three sisters Alhamdulillah. And these are the children of my brothers. So what that means is my eldest brother say, that's his son shift Brahim. My another elder brother of mine that his son should had none. And they're therefore my nephews, not my sons. Yeah. But if they say sons culturally, it wouldn't be wrong culturally. They say you know, an uncle is as good as a father. So mashallah, it's there. We don't look too far in age but we are quite far in age. If I could tell you that Chef had none is actually my son in law at the same time, been married to my daughter perhaps for the last six, seven years I'm the law Mashallah. So that's

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how it works. So we do have more than one relationship and hamdulillah mashallah, Mashallah. The fun uncle, the fun uncle and with the I think I think what happened is, the other brothers are a little bit older, and I've always tried to be the one who's a bit more fun loving. MashAllah Franco Franco, the fun uncle hamdulillah Allahumma barik Sheikh Ibrahim A question for yourself. So what made you follow the path of studying Islam?

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Rahman Rahim.

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Just to add chef, you know, you mentioned we don't look so much further, far apart in age. And someone wants told me I said, Oh, he's my uncle. So they said, Oh, you are his uncle.

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I said, Come on, man. Come on. You know, that's strange, because I have my son as well. And when when I, when I'm with him, he looks very similar. So someone said, What's that?

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Is that your brother? I said, No. So my brother, so he looked at me and he said, that's crazy. They actually think I'm your brother. But then when we went somewhere else, someone said that your father, my father, my son, men.

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So the people sometimes don't really understand you right? MashAllah Baraka loving Hamdulillah. So, Al Hamdulillah. With regards to the question, I've been studying Islam with my granddad from a very young age. In fact, my elephant belt was taught by Him and I attribute my beginnings to him. So essentially, we were born into a family that studied Islam Alhamdulillah and that's I attribute after Allah subhanahu Attallah to my grandfather. So that Alhamdulillah was a huge driver for me to study Islam. It was what I knew it was what I was familiar with, because he taught us the Quran he taught us the Tafseer of the Quran, he taught us I remember him sitting, studying words for the next

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day's lesson and writing them down. And then the next day, we would hear those words in the lesson. So Subhanallah it's something that we studied from a very young age myself, and she had none were together in some of these classes as well. So it's something that just comes naturally. So when the opportunity to go to Medina came Alhamdulillah it was one of those things I knew we always looked up to our uncle.

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Chef is my real move to smile, we looked up to him. And we looked up to him as not only a scholar of Dean, but like the set like he said, a fun scholar of Dean, it was different to the norm. You know, usually you have a chef or Molana you sit quietly in front of him, put your head down and listen and hear we could interact, we could speak we could laugh, we could joke we enjoy these lectures. Alhamdulillah so it's something that really inspired me to you know, further my studies in Medina. That's definitely Can I Can I add something because you can. He's speaking about my father, my father, Mashallah. He has taught all of us all his children and his grandchildren. And with that he

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has established massive institutions 1000s

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Hundreds of people have turned to Islam 1000s of people have benefited learned the deen they've been empowered in terms of dunya as well. So he is a hero to all of us, my father, their grandfather, and to this day he still sits as all diseases about 88 May Allah grant him goodness, he still sits and teaches he cannot,

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you know, not do something he has to be doing something so anyone who's really interested in certain teach them Quran and Arabic, and other thing anyone whom he's taught the Quran to, they are professional Quranic reciters. And really, he is amazing in his teaching, Allah has blessed him mashallah amazing Alhamdulillah they say you know, a tree by its fruits and hamdulillah and we've been able to witness and benefit from his fruit so we pray for the long life and goodness of the tree hamdulillah and it's also actually a lesson for all of us sometimes we think about building legacies and what legacy means different things to different people but creating and starting a

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legacy that hamdulillah the likes that we see now that you can go forward that's a witness of good work for you that's something that we all want inshallah.

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Chef Adnan

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What do you see is the right age to be married? You'll be careful because your father in law's

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What do you say is the right age to be married? Man, Rahim. Obviously, it's different from person to person place to place the maturity and the development of people as they grew up. So you can't really put in a number two people are different, the circumstances are different. The financial levels are different, the way they've matured, where they've grown up, etc. So there's no real right or wrong age. Obviously, if somebody has reached the age of majority in Islam, we are encouraged to get married and not delay as long as there's no reason to delay person has, you know, sound intellect and they able to, then inshallah they go forth. And Allah will bless them, obviously,

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you're sitting with Marcela shear who is a counselor of more than 30 years, so he can add to that.

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With the I will definitely need you to add to that, and I don't like the way it's going, because everything is coming.

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But it's good. I think it's right, I agree with what he said, you know, perhaps when a person, all I need to say to this is Don't unnecessarily delay, that's what I would say. Because, look, when you're young, it's easy, it's easier, you're a little bit more broader in your selection. So you marry someone, and you grow with them for as long as your two very good people who are compatible. But as you grow older, you started your journey already, the other person started their journey without you, you're going to meet up at 3035, it's not going to be so easy to come together. At that age, you become more and more fussy. As you grow older. This is my experience from the last so many

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years. So if you're 20, and you're married, it's much more likely that you're going to have you know, much more goodness by the will of Allah not to say that it wouldn't bring about goodness, if you had to delay but there's a hadith encourages us all youth if you're able and capable, don't delay get married. So following that we stick by that advice and believe that it is true, and it is the way it should be. So if there is a reason why you're delaying,

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then perhaps you know, let's hear it and let's let's see what it is otherwise without proper reason. Go for it. I know a lot of young people, especially the girls, they say no, I don't want to get married, you know, because they witnessed divorces. They witnessed so many negatives. But you know we have to go it's one of the ways of Allah subhanho wa Taala we have to dry. Many people have been through divorce sometimes and after that they are so happy. They are so happy they marry someone else. Later on. It's not the end of the world. May Allah make it easy for us. I mean, I mean, connected to that and with the and what age did you get married?

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1990 Mashallah. So I have grandchildren, I have 10 children and three grandchildren, direct grandchildren and perhaps another one very soon. And like I say, four of my children are married and the others are still to get married. I even one day in one of my lectures I said guys, I have eight daughters and two sons. So all the boys better be in good behavior because we're watching you.

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Mashallah. Mashallah, can I send him if ever there was one, can I say something because of course you've

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Spoken like a true men practices what he preaches much.

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19 You know, I, I think today 19 We consider it people are still children. So, so So what happens is, a lot of the times people say well, you know what I'm looking for

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or someone who's, who's who's got a good salary, a lovely house, a beautiful car. When I married, I had nothing, I relied fully and totally on my father. And there was nothing wrong. And it was amazing. I want to encourage the parents who are here. You know what, it's not bad to rely on someone's father, for as long as that father is not going to be interfering in your life, you will have a decent marriage. It's okay. The same parents who are now saying we need a wealthy son in law, have had

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issues in their own lives when they started up, and they didn't really have much. So we need to go easy on that. It's not wrong to rely on folks. I know people who have relied on their in laws like Musa alayhis salam, he relied on his in laws, he was marrying a man who employed him and said, You're going to work for me for so many years, you can take my daughter, he says, well, there goes, I'll do it. So it's not wrong today, because we're living on you know, social media, we're comparing our lives to the lives of people we think exists, but they're just showing you a life that they're not actually living. So it becomes very toxic. And because of that people are looking for someone

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who's so wealthy that anything I want, I can have anywhere I want to go and eat out. I never, ever ate out throughout my childhood. And even when I got married initially, for years on end, we didn't ever visit a restaurant. We couldn't afford it. So alhamdulillah it happened a bit later and Allah opened the doors. We thank Allah The reason I'm saying this is just to let people think, you know, food for thought to challenge. Just gonna have

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Chef Ibrahim, maybe get some advice from you. You can take this question how you want? How does one approach the opposite gender for marriage? This isn't chat up lines, please chef,

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masha Allah.

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This is actually a very important question. Because today people complain, and especially the youth, they complain about the fact that how do I get married when I can't speak? Well, I'm not supposed to speak to the opposite, opposite gender. And oftentimes, they are cultural barriers more than they are Islamic barriers. In this country, you know, one of the places where we find the youth see each other or get to know each other at universities, we're not talking about whether it's ideal to go to university or not, but they are there you see someone you like you see someone you are interested in, I think there is nothing wrong with you approaching that person striking up a conversation in a

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good manner. Don't use the chat up lines.

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Strike up a conversation in a good manner with regards to perhaps course material or anything, use your imagination. And then when you find the appropriate time, express your intention, say I've come because you know X, Y and Zed I have some interest in you. Are you interested? My interest is based on Islam. You know, I want to I'm looking for Nikka, etcetera, etcetera. So I don't think there would be anything wrong with you doing that number one, and I say this because many of us feel that I can't approach a sister or I can't approach a brother but in reality, the other gender is thinking the same and they also think, hey, we can't and there's these cultural taboos, etc. Hold on, if you

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are doing it in a respectful manner, look at Musa alayhis salatu salam with which Mufti mentioned the story of Musa alayhis Salatu was Salam. When he sees the two women he approaches, he says, gotta Mahatma Akuma. What is your issue? How can I help you? And the end of that is that they get married. So you have to take these steps. That's not the only way you can approach the uncles and Auntie's. You know, they are those uncles and Auntie's in society, that are well known to match people together, approach them, tell them I'm looking for marriage. And another barrier is that we think that people know what we are thinking. So we tell to people and we say, I've told people I want to

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get married, no, go to 100 people, go to as many people as possible, trustworthy people, people that you that are in your circles, tell them look, I'm looking to get married. If you know anyone suitable then suggest. So do your best. And Allah grant him goodness, my father always says do your best and to Allah, leave the rest, do your best, and to Allah, leave the rest. As for social media, and getting on to DMS, etc. I encourage you not to do this, I discourage you from doing this because you shouldn't slide you know, they call it sliding into the DMS. Why are you sliding in the first place? You know, there's a negative connotation to that. Why are you sliding go knock on the door

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say this is what I want, you know, so

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There are apps today out there, I am not promoting one but I am saying they are apps that are monitored by those who are above those who are higher in authority, etc. On the like the from the management of the app, they are monitored. Those are safer options then going on to Instagram and sliding into someone's DM. So if you really must, then Bismillah use these apps and may Allah subhanahu wa taala make it easy for you. This is a question that I've received many times and I keep receiving. So it's a very important question. Baraka Luffy is like, Well, can I add one quick thing? So I just want to say that perhaps we should involve our parents early on very early, because when

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you don't, you're bitten a lot of the times so even and watch it but I am saying is right that we you are at a university you are working you have colleagues, you see someone you watch them with their Deen, you see prayer time, they're taking it seriously, such a lovely brother or sister you need to open your mouth. And I would prefer that you actually spoke to if it's a girl, you can speak to your folks to say, You know what, there's a brother at work. I don't I haven't even spoken to him, but he's really a suitable candidate. Wallahi if my child came to me with that, I would go and meet the guy, I would take him out for a coffee I as a father would go and take him out for a coffee

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and tell him you know what, I believe you're working with my daughter, well, mashallah, you know, etc. Take him a bottle of perfume, and so on, and suss him out. And then you can pick up if he's really not what he is, you're going to do your research. The problem is when she's already developed a relationship with her. She wants me as a parent to come in and rubber stamp a guy who's on wheat Come on No ways. Yeah, I'd send him to my grandfather to polish his Tajweed first

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mashallah, I think if I can respectfully add also, you see any sisters? If there's guys who are interested in you? If they're serious and sincere, they will have no no qualms in meeting your family in the parents? No, they won't for a moment hesitate. 100% Because one of the things look, a guy is wired differently from a girl. And the thinking is different. Everything you know, is I was gonna say weird, but I'm a guy. So

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I tell you what, if if you're going to allow them to play with you, Wallahi they will play with you. But if you're going to put your line and your barrier, they're going to respect you if they really serious out of 101 or two might be serious. Trust me the other 99 players sorry, Allah make it easy.

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hamdulillah the guys were not impressed with what I said right?

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Never thought they were playable for the only playing they do is football.

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Chef had a question for yourself. Does a parent have a right to disagree with their choice of spouse of their son or daughter? I think Mufti just put it perfectly where he said, it's obviously the best to get the blessings of your parents, and obviously, anybody who's been married, even if you've run off with somebody, the love of your life, whatever it may be, there comes a time we two human beings living together, they grew up differently, they think differently, you're going to clash on a few different things. And what tends to happen is that people who haven't taken the blessings of their parents and they start to regret should high or shouldn't have I should I should have

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done this? Or should I have actually waited and gotten the blessings of my parents, I think it's important to put it well to say that try your best to involve the parents and get their blessing. You save a lot of headache later on. Absolutely. What would you like to add to that? Yeah, I agree with him. And if you're saying that, you know, do they have a right?

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In the case of a guy, he might be able to technically have a nica officiated without his parents and we would say it's valid. In the case of a girl. According to the majority of the scholars, she needs her father she needs someone and I tell you that's a Mercy of Allah because when when a girl is all on her own going in the people that she's married into know that she's got no one the chances of her being abused are more than if they know she's got guys around her brothers parent a father, uncles, and especially if the guys have met these people and their big buttons you know, meaning they big guys you know, and you see and you look at them the minute you want to talk to his daughter you

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remember the face of the Father's SLR Malik Likud like you know, you chilled because you know that whoa, this person's got everyone behind them was probably not going to tolerate my nonsense. That's the whole idea of having a protection, you know, to say this, and I give you my daughter. Remember, when I've given my daughter's away, I've always said, Look, all I need you to do is please respect her and honor that's it.

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Respect, offer her respect and honor. The rest of it Inshallah, slowly but surely you guys can navigate through it, I've never interfered in the lives of my,

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you know, sons in law, or my daughter in law in the case of my son never interfered, I've let them do whatever. But all I always tell them is just learn to respect each other and honor each other. That's it. I wouldn't like to see someone coming, screaming and abusing swearing my own daughter, it would hurt me, I gave you this child, you know, it's not for me. It's something that you've that would actually be a red line. May Allah Almighty make it easy for all of us. I mean, we this is a huge topic by itself. And we've got some questions on it.

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I can say, look, one of the issues I was dealing with locally with the was a girl who wanted to get married to someone, the parents were thinking about it. And they said, give us some time. The girls in laws put pressure on her to the point she'd say something and then in the evening, she's like, No, no, no goes against it. And I remember speaking to her, this almost broke my heart. To be honest, I can say this. I asked her the question. I said, Do you have any complaints about your parents? And the parents will ask and just wait one week over the one week, and they'll do the NIC card so they can announce it to that if they their relatives? I said to the girl, I said, Do you

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have any complaints about your parents? She said no. And I asked, I said for 23 years of your life. They brought you up with love and kindness. And she said yes. I said they gave you 23 years, and you can't give them one week.

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And the boys side pushed ahead and they've done a car without the Father.

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And they got a random uncle who the girl had never met to stand in the place of the welding.

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You see the parents? They were heartbroken. You know Murthy, like what would you say in this. And all it takes is a little bit of patience. I agree with you completely. I've been involved in similar matters for many, many years. And a lot of the times a few years into that marriage, there's a lot of regret, which they don't realize you need your families. However, there are some families where the folks are totally unreasonable, totally unreasonable, you know, they tribalistic races sometimes in those cases, I would, you know, relate to the people trying to get married. And we may have to involve and you know, likely say transfer the guardianship to a third party only where there is

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legitimate reason to do so after all avenues of trying to get the folks in are exhausted. But otherwise, don't. Don't treat that territory. It's not worth it. I mean, imagine you get married, you have a child, how excited are you? You don't know? 20 years down the line, this child is going to make you cry tears of blood.

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So it's really sad. May Allah make it easy. Amin, amin. Amazing. So with the next question this it gets really technical at times of marriage handler The good news is there. Everything's been decided parents are happy on both sides. Then comes the question. What is the matter? And how do you determine what it will be?

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No, no, no, no, that's for some of you might have seen someone asked me a question to say, if the demand of Mahara is 50k Is it a red, red flag or a green flag? What did I say?

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Red flag and people in the comments were like why? Why? Look, I tell you, Mahara is a gift. It's a gift, determined by the bride,

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and should be communicated to the groom, they should give it or he should give it to her as a gift. He doesn't have to give it immediately he can give it later. And sometimes she can even waive it later on. It's not a selling price. It's not a buying price. It does not say much about who you are. So in wealthy communities, it would naturally be a little bit more depending on the order or the norm. So if the norm of a community is 50k, by all means, 50k if the norm of the community is something then less because make it easy for people to marry, but generally 95% of the public, a youngster twin in his 20s getting married does not have 50k imagine he's going to enter into

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marriage with the mentality that I'm in debt. What success Do you want him to achieve in life? It's not something it's not a bride price, as they say. So usually, you look at what is known as Maharal mythen. That's a sunnah. Look at the girls of the same family. And what did they get? So when I got married, I paid 100 pounds 100 pounds model.

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And I wouldn't trade my wife for the world. I promise you 100 pounds. And what have I given her from that time to now? I don't even know the figure she doesn't. I don't think there is anything she's ever asked me for. That I haven't done. I'm just letting you know. And what did I pay?

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100 pounds. And I promise you, it's not because people say, Oh, this guy's as simple. Come, come, bro, let's show you.

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I didn't even know the meaning of simple until they used it on me.

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And I felt that the guy talking is less let me not get into that debate. But anyway

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but to be honest with you to be good and kind and to be kind to those who have served you they've been there for you through thick and thin when I started my life, I guarantee you if I wanted to marry people, they probably would have said no, not at all. So all those who might be interested later on when you're a successful man, please understand they don't belong in your life. That's all you know why they would never have sacrificed if they were put into your life 20 years earlier the way the one who's there has sacrificed you just need to understand this. And so therefore the amount given doesn't confirm whether you're going to be happier or not. So what do you want? If you're in

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there for money? You're gonna say 50k Get a divorce another 50k Get another divorce before you know it I've got 500k Now I can go and marry properly whoever I want. It's not a business it's not that the idea is I'm gonna marry someone token amount what is it? It is like a down payment in my explanation to say from today onwards, I am responsible for all your expenses it's on me. So from today onwards, this is the first amount if you ever need any money come to me and inshallah I'll try and you know, help you for as long as it's reasonable. That's what it is. If you look at it from that angle, so there's nothing fixed and I would say that the the more understanding you are of the

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situation of the guy getting married and also the guy should be understanding of the family he's getting married into and then you determine some a figure that's you know, easy inshallah evening, some people say,

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a million rial. I've seen this in writing, which is payable if you divorce me

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that also isn't against the Sunnah of the Prophet SAW Salem. I understand what they're trying to achieve, but then it's toxic. I'm entering into a slavery agreement. I mean, I can't get out of it. Because if I want to get out of it, I got to pay a million bucks and what they do, they run you into a HELOC and they run you into something disastrous, where if anything goes bad, they never ever give you the HELOC until you squeeze it out of them because they don't want to issue it they're going to have to pay you a million bucks. So there's a lot of negativity in that let's go easy simple ways. And Allah make us inshallah successful in our marriages. I mean, yeah. So final question for

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yourself, Sheikh Ibrahim, as we close this session shortly. Any advice for anyone finding it difficult to get married?

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Look for chastity. Well, try to be chaste. Allah subhanahu totalis is well your staff even leadin Allah Ji doon Anika Han had you near whom Allah whom in fugly that they should be chaste? Who, those who are not finding Nikka until Allah gives them off his bounty until Allah gives them off his Lena. So, oftentimes, we say that you know what marriage is a money hole that you're just going to drop money into. But in reality, Allah who will give you financial independence through that Nikka and this is just a side point. But for those who cannot find Nika, just be chaste, and be patient. And that which will come afterwards will be amazing. Because you've reached Nika, and you have never

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done this in your life. So imagine the joy, the pleasure, the amazement that you receive from that, as opposed to a person who has done it in a haram manner. And they get to Nikka they already know it doesn't mean much to them. What value would you have for that Nika going into it? Knowing that this is what I have. I've already experienced it. I already know what it is. And for those who are not chaste as well, you've trained yourself to get tired of the person in a short space of time. You're done with what you want from them. Well, now it's over. That's all I needed. I've got it and move on to the next. So try to be chased try to look after you know, Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam

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says that one who guarantees that which is between his jaws and that which is which is between his legs. I guarantee him Jana and think about that is not easy. It's not easy to guarantee that you will not say that which is wrong after that which is evil, immoral, curse and abuse. And it is not easy to also guarantee that which is between your legs, the private parts and

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This is an avenue that Allah subhanho wa Taala has created Nica so wait until that moment. And in sha Allah your marriage will not only be successful, but you will value it much more, as opposed to those who don't actually abide by this. May Allah subhanahu wa taala get those who are single married. I mean, and may Allah bless that your journal make it easy for us to make it easy for them as well. I mean, I mean, I mean, you're up.

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What are some red flags when it comes to a proposal and not just 50k my herd

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messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said in a hadith either mentor Dona Dena who will who loca further with you, Mr. Salah Salem is telling you that if somebody comes with his deen is intact and good character and conduct and getting married, so the red flags would be the opposite of that. So somebody's deen is not in order. Somebody doesn't have good character and good conduct. Obviously, it's a red flag. Now we've also got to differentiate between people who are practicing. Let's say that your compulsory acts of worship are in order after that people differ. So you find those who are knowledgeable those who are learned, it may not be the most appropriate for you in your

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situation to get married to somebody who may not be as knowledgeable. And at the same time, we've got to realize and understand that people grow with time. So sometimes you find somebody has a bad habit, but it's something they want to work on something they, you know, making improvements on. So we've also got to differentiate between that and one more thing I'd like to mention is

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with social media, and with people online, people tell you that you know what, if you see this in your husband, or your wife or your potential, it's a red flag, not realizing that the person who's speaking at times, they're not married, they have marriage courses, they've never been married 18 year olds giving advice on how you should be married. So you've got to understand, you know, the whole thing of red flags, red flags, what is a red flag and what isn't a red flag.

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They end up being false flags, will have a false flag operation when you don't choose it correctly.

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Most of the just as some final closing advice on this topic, what would you say to all of us actually, those married and those not married? Mashallah, firstly, try to be the person whom you want to marry.

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Sounds strange, doesn't it? Try to be the person in character and conduct

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whom you would like to see, or the characteristics you have,

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that you would like to see in a person you want to marry. So if you're just going to be, I give you an example, yesterday, someone sent me an email to say, they were so interested in a guy and he just cut them off and they please make dua I really want to marry this guy. And so and I sent an a reply saying that you want a guy like him, but he doesn't want a person like you.

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It's clear. So all you have to do is develop yourself to a point where a person like that would actually want a person like you. You know, it's one of those those things, one of the brothers told me that I went to propose to someone, religious person really amazing, and so much more. And I met them. I was quite interested. And I called for a second meeting after the first one went very well. And I had one request to say, Please, can I see you without makeup?

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You won't believe it ended there.

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And that's why I say it cut where the microphone cut even before I got to that, can you imagine? Anyway, so when it came to me, I was very saddened because

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imagine the brothers had to put makeup and a sister. Imagine it was the other way around, and men wore makeup.

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And the sister came up and said, Brother, I'd like to see you without your makeup. And the guy says, But why? Why are you judging me? I'm gonna marry you. I'm gonna get up right next to you. I don't mind I've got flows. I'm sure you may Don't be enslaved by something that's not you love yourself the way you are. And if someone loves you with your eye bags, and your fly bags, then Alhamdulillah all of that Masha Allah is the package they are going to get. It is definitely within a guy's rights to say I'd like to meet you without makeup, if anything without them saying it when you go for a marriage meeting. It shouldn't be without makeup. I mean, and why I say this is imagine if it's the

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other way around. Many sisters don't agree. But that's not fair. I mean, it's it's it's like buying a product where they're telling you you're not allowed to look at the engine. Just look at the car from outside and that's it. I mean, come on. Okay, maybe

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Not as bad as an engine, we just want to make sure

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but we just want to make sure that you know it's the right person. So sometimes this is very, it's a very serious matter. So learn to be yourself and do not give up. That's something very important. Don't give up if one thing went wrong. Two things people say I'll never trust a guy again. Well, you went into the wrong boat as well you know? So don't say Never trust the guy heal and go for it again. Check again do don't give up. Don't ever give up keep trying one day, inshallah you marry your king or your queen, may Allah Almighty make it easy. And like I said, and I stand by my words, try to have the qualities within you that you would like to see in the one whom you're trying to get

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married to or the type of person you would like. May Allah bless you all.

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Men do actually wear makeup today. Wow. I know people say I wear makeup right? Actually, I don't stop for as you can see, they say so what makes you look so so younger? I know. I finally discovered the phones are being more and more advanced. Mashallah. And the cameras are becoming more and more advanced. That's what's making us look much younger. I think that's what it is. Yeah. Can I say that? You can't say this probably. But I can say it is the norm inshallah. Allah forgive us, Allah subhanho wa taala. Forgive us. You know, we, we will only know on the day of Kiama, who has better deeds. That's why I say don't judge people because you don't know where they are in, in the race on

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the day of piano, may Allah make it easy. Nonetheless, may Allah Almighty bless every one of us and grant us goodness, to Zakouma Lafayette, I think this talk was absolutely amazing. The questions were on point. I'm sure by the time we leave here, everyone will be married.

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There was a brother, there was a brother who said, Chef, I'm looking for a wife, this was in Nigeria. And we agreed with the organizers that we will tell the we will call the brother up on the stage and say, Look, this brother, you know who he is, is looking for a wife. And you won't believe the number of hands that would have gone up to say, okay, you know, meaning we're interested, you know, in some communities, it's quite open. But nonetheless, he shied out of it. He didn't come up on the stage. So we said there's a brother who's not married and he just not been so on. And he showed that so if anyone was bold enough to say, I want to get married. We could do it here and now.

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But then again, we need your father's permission, don't we? Well, that's just bento Baraka Luffy calm Jacamo Luffy