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Assalamualaikum my brothers and sisters, those of us who have children, it's our duty to help them get married. And it's becoming more difficult to get our children married, even though the population of the globe has increased tremendously. So what we need to do is keep a lookout, guide them, talk to them, teach them, teach them what type of a person they should be looking out for, or what type of a person is marriage material, so that they are not,
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perhaps blown away by someone who is not even marriage material simply because they saw a thing or two.
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Also keep a very close eye on them, guide them.
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In some cultures, the parents don't have a relationship with their children, this needs to change because we follow Allah we follow Islam, Allah has given us children as an Amana as a test. And this test we would fail if we didn't have a relationship with these children and help them get married. So if you would like to propose that someone marry your child, you need to speak to your child, if they are happy on both sides, that is the only time that you're allowed to actually go ahead. You can never go ahead if your child has said no, I don't want this, it is actually sinful to do that, and you won't have fulfilled your duty unto Allah. In fact, you would have done a disservice to what
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Allah subhanho wa Taala has asked you to do. Now, if your child somehow comes up with a proposition to say, you know what, dad or Mum, yes, we I'd like to get married, and I want you to look into this particular person. Perhaps, if they're good enough, I'm interested in getting married to them. Subhan Allah. In some cultures, it is so taboo, but in Islam, it is permissible, it is totally permissible for your child to suggest to you, when I say your child, I mean the adult now, but it's your child, your son or your daughter to suggest to you to say you know what, I came across this person, I want you to look into this person. Now, if you had guided your child from an early age as
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to what qualities to look for us to look for in a spouse, they would know how to differentiate. But if you've never addressed that topic, then you're to blame. So I'd like to say please, my fathers and mothers out there, let's speak to our children, talk to them, tell them what qualities they need to develop to be a spouse, and what qualities they need to look for in someone who would be a potential spouse for them.
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So if you have a child who's come up to you and told you, I'd like you to look at so and so I'd like to hope that you've already guided them as to what type of a person you know would be marriage material, then if they came to you look into it, it's your duty, don't just brush it aside. Many people are going through difficulty and hardship because their parents have unnecessarily refused and rejected something they had very close to their hearts. And they've been broken. And the parents think that they're doing something good. Whereas a times they're not. Sometimes they are, if they have valid points that are substantiated, and they have proven that this person really has duped you
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and conned you into believing they were good. And they have the evidence for that, then please, my beloved children, take that seriously. Your parents don't hate you, they've done a lot for you. They love you, they care for you talk to them have a good communication with them. I do know and I'm thinking of the culture in some countries, India and Pakistan, Bangladesh, perhaps and a few other countries as well. It goes through two parts of the Philippines and Indonesia, various other places, some of the Muslims, even in the Middle East, you can never suggest to your folks who you feel you want to get married to, even though you've interacted with a brilliant person, either at school or
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at work or online. So panela for some reason that was permissible, it doesn't mean that when your child came up with a proposition, they were doing harm, it doesn't mean that what it means is they came across someone in a very respectful way and they're seeking your help to say, let's facilitate this and both parties are actually happy. The boy would like to do this and the girl would also like to get this done. Now, if they have the demon lock, which means if their connection with Allah is reasonable, good and if their character is also reasonably good
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Then let it happen so panela that it happened and Allah will open the doors Allah will facilitate. Further. Sometimes people say, well, they don't have anything they don't have money they don't have. Look, Allah says in the Quran in your Kunal fukada are you wanting him Allah homing for me? If they really do it for the pleasure of Allah, if they were poor, Allah will bless them with his virtue, he is the owner of sustenance, most marriages, that when they started off, they didn't have much and in a few years, the business develops, the savings come, the house comes, everything else comes. Don't underestimate the power of Allah. When you do things the right way you achieve blessings. So my
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brothers and sisters, like I say, many people are struggling because we haven't taken into consideration what they're saying. Please listen to them. Try and speak to your children. address the matter correctly. And my beloved children, talk to your folks, talk to your parents. Listen to them. If you have something, try to convince them, try to get through to them in a nice way and allow will open your doors. And unfortunately,
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in some cases, people are forced
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to do things they don't want to do.
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And then they become suicidal. And then we as parents fail our tests, we won't know what to say to Allah.
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May Allah subhanho wa Taala forgive us. And the worst thing is, when people who are outwardly religious actually engage in this type of behavior. It's very unacceptable. So May Allah make it easy for all of us? akula Kohli, hava was Salam aleikum wa rahmatullah wa cat
Series by Mufti Menk
About Mufti Menk
Dr Mufti Ismail Menk is a leading global Islamic scholar born and raised in Zimbabwe. He studied Shariah in Madinah and holds a Doctorate of Social Guidance from Aldersgate University.
Mufti Menk’s work has gained worldwide recognition and he has been named one of “The Top 500 Most Influential Muslims in the World” since 2010.
He has millions of followers across his social media platforms. Mufti Menk’s personable style and down to earth approach has made him one of the most sought after scholars in our time. He has endeared himself to people with his much loved lecture series, a Mufti Menk hallmark.
He travels the world spreading a simple but profound message: “Do good, help others while preparing for the Hereafter”.
He is active in the international arena and is a strong proponent of peace and justice, speaking up against all forms of terrorism.