Family Values – Part 2

Mufti Menk

Channel: Mufti Menk

Episode Notes

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Brothers Program in Kaduna Nigeria, 25 Nov 2019

Episode Transcript

© No part of this transcript may be copied or referenced or transmitted in any way whatsoever. Transcripts are auto-generated and thus will be be inaccurate. We are working on a system to allow volunteers to edit transcripts in a controlled system.


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Salam aleikum wa rahmatullah wa barakato.

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smilla rahmanir rahim al hamdu Lillah wa Salatu was Salam ala rasulillah Allah Allah, he was Javier Jemaine, we praise Allah subhanho wa Taala. We thank him for all that he has blessed us with. We send blessings and salutations upon Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, his household, his companions, we ask Allah subhanho wa Taala to bless them to bless every one of us to bless every one of us and to grant us goodness, amin,

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amin,

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amin,

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Mashallah, now we can be quiet and charming.

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My beloved brothers, I need to give you some bad news, I need to give you some bad news. The bad news is we are doing worse than the sisters. The sisters were here earlier. We're lucky they sat for a very long time, and they waited. But somehow now the sisters were much, much more silent than we are. So my brothers, it does not require the mouth in order to be comfortable. It does not require the sound and the voice in order to make your presence be felt here, but rather, it requires a little bit of discipline. That's all. I am as excited as you are. To be in your midst. You are my beloved brothers. Part of the respect of the house of Allah is that we are quiet.

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So I asked you in the name of Allah, to actually be quiet. Every time I have spoken to a group of people who have not been quiet. My speech is very short and I go away, especially when it is in the house of Allah. It's not respectful to the beautiful house of Allah. Imagine if I were to come to your house, and we are to make noise. May Allah bless you.

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Allah grant you goodness, Allah bless those who are quiet. Allah bless those who are not talking.

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Allah give double and triple blessings to those who have come early and sat here for a long time.

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And may Allah guide those who are still talking, including including myself.

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My brothers and sisters, we are talking about family values. Earlier I spoke to the sisters. And we made mention of many points from amongst us, they are fathers, perhaps grandfathers, they are also husbands from amongst us. They are also young men who are newly married their husbands known as groups, a group we know why a group is called a group.

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A group is called a group to be very honest, I don't know but I can guess. So panela we will leave that to the end when if they are quiet, I will let you know why a group is called a group. How many of you who are speaking,

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married,

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if you are talking with your mouth, and you are married to top your head,

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see, they are not they are not listening. They're not married. When you get married, your wife will take care of you. At the moment no one is taking care of you. So you're just speaking Lai Lama, as much as it is disturbing. I would like to take it as a sign of love.

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I would like him to take it as a sign of excitement. Instead of perhaps,

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you know, becoming

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despondent by that. Let us start saying what we have to

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my brothers and sisters.

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Allah has blessed us with a great gift known as the family unit that we were born in.

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Allah has given us a gift known as family.

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Let's ask ourselves a question. Are we in fact a gift to that family? And are we being

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members of the family whom the others can say indeed, my family is a gift. Some people manage their families in a way that some of the family members believe that they are actually in other in the punishment of Allah. That's what they believe. They say, there is no goodness in my family. Neither is the father at home. No, does anyone want to listen, there is a lot of abuse. There is verbal abuse. People don't control their mouse. You know, when we don't control our mouse, there is a name for it, that we give. It is a type of diarrhea, verbal diarrhea, where it seems not to stop. And what happens, the only thing that will stop it is a huge shock. A huge shock when we talk too much.

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And when we say bad words, disturbing words, abusive words, that is not the sign of a true believer in a lie.

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If you truly believe in Allah, you will worry about what comes out of your mouth in your home. The good words that are supposed to be uttered and said,

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the good words we are supposed to say count them every day. How many good words did I tell my family members? How many lovely words did I say from my mouth to those whom I interacted with one law if you can count good words that came from your mouth, it is automatic remembrance of Allah did you know that

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remembrance of Allah, some people they say Subhana, Allah Al Hamdulillah, but they are swearing, they are cheating, they are disappearing, they are abusing, those are not those who remember Allah, even those who did not say Subhana Allah hamdulillah. But they said good words and they did not abuse others because of their consciousness of Allah, they have engaged in a greater ibadah for the sake of Allah than the one who pays lip service to these types of

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liquor is very important, very important. gelato and very important to eat the boron. How many of us read it every day in our families? How many of us start the day with Salah? Well, it my brothers and sisters, some of our fathers or grandfathers used to do that. What about us, how many of us start the day with Salah was poor and

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how many of us as a family unit we can pray together? Very gently we get each other up, we encourage each other to pray the salon will law if you want success in the dunya and the aphylla. The only path of success is through the same rub who made you There is no other path of success. You want success alone. You want money, Allah, you want to help Allah, you want a good spouse, Allah, you want any form of goodness, Allah you want to pass a law you want.

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It is about alone. It is a law alone. And I want to remind you, this is the house of Allah. the respect of the house of Allah is a sign of taqwa of the heart, that he go on.

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Even

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those who are prepared to sanctify and consider sacred, the centuries of Allah, that which Allah gave century to add value to when you consider it valuable, it's a sign of the top of the heart.

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That's why I say when you come in the house of Allah, come down, come down, relax, and house of Allah. Take it easy.

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You know, one bedroom, one walked into the masjid and he urinated in the corner. And what did the Prophet sallallahu Sallam do? He told him later on, you know what, this is the house of Allah, it is not for what you are doing. It is for the remembrance of Allah, it is for prayer, it is for good deeds, and so on. It is not for these bad things. So in the same way, in my life, when I respect what Allah has given value to it's a sign that I'm close to Allah,

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you have the most half.

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If you respect it, put it properly. Well, there are many books, where does the most have go? At the top? Right? When you're carrying it, how do you carry it not just like an ordinary book, why it's a sign that you are related and connected to Allah. There is a connection, right? In the same way when we have anything to do with Allah subhanho wa Taala. Listen very carefully. You know, in the Quran, Allah addresses the believers by saying, Yeah, I you

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know, have you heard that? Many times, right.

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The true believers are those when they are hearing Yeah.

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They immediately want to know what's going on. Allah is talking to me. Why? Because they have a man, when you don't have a man, you just hear the verse. And it's, by the way, because there is no demand, if your name is is how can I say, Oh, it's hard to come here, even if there are 20 is hawks in the room today, they will all say, Are you calling me? You understand? Because you can't my name. So if they are all believers, and Allah says, Oh, you believe you will say you're alive one of them? Yes. What What is it you are saying to me?

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So my beloved brothers, my eldest who are here today, will law he We are thankful that Allah blessed us with the Quran. He guided us, he gave us families. He gave us families, those families Allah has chosen for us. Our duty is to make life comfortable for our family members and to be comfortable ourselves among our family members. In what way in a way that pleases Allah. I have one message for you today. One message for you today here in Katsina as men.

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Please sorry, in Kaduna Look, I'm even being mistaken because of the sound here Mashallah.

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It's actually very hot, I'm sweating. And at the same time, I can't even hear myself correctly. But it's okay. These are my brothers who love me for the sake of Allah and I love them too. But I just, you know, I just pray Allah forgives us because me and you we are friends and brothers. But this is not my house. This is not your house, the house of Allah. That's why I'm concerned. I said, if we happen to make so much of noise and that what is what are we going to answer to Allah is it's easy for you and I. But Allah, let's go back to what I was saying. I have one message for you. I have one message for you, my beloved brothers.

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Fulfill your role as the individual you are within the capacities that Allah has given you. That is my message for you. If you are a father, be the best father. If you are a son, be the best son. If you are a husband, be the best husband. If you are a brother, be the best brother, stand up for justice and serve with kindness, love.

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If you are a father, be the best father, your children can be proud of you to say that is my heart. He looks after us. He takes care of us. He talks to us. He loves us. He listens to us. He has time for us. today. We don't have time for our family members, our own children. How am I the best father La ilaha illAllah? The husband, you are a husband? How do you address your spouse? In this part of the world? People have more than 1am I right?

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Allah, La ilaha illa Allah is it more than one no more than two,

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la la la la.

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You know, in other parts of the world, we can't even speak like this, otherwise, they will start throwing eggs at us. I think that's why today they separated them women first and then the men so we can talk quietly, you know,

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the point I'm raising is learn to respect. The idea is not to ignore one and, and and give all your attention to the other. That is the biggest crime you can commit as a person who may have more than one. You hear what I'm saying? The biggest crime you can commit that is almost unforgivable in the eyes of Allah is when you have more than one, you ignore one and give the attention to the other. That is a crime for law. It is a crime. Do you think you can run away from Allah you might run away from the union. But what are we doing? Did we fulfill the rights of the people? Am I the best husband will lie? How many people have a flourishing business? one branch, right? When they open

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another branch and the third and the fourth, the concentration is so little that all four of them are failing? Do you agree? It has happened many times because we did not concentrate if you cannot manage, don't even try for English to Allah de novo. You know what that means, right? those verses we don't need to translate them in this part of the world. We know the wolf by heart, right? So remember that Allah is really watching you to see what you are doing. You want and Baraka. in your lives, you need to make sure that you try to achieve it, you will not get it just like them. Today is a day I want you to promise for the sake of Allah that you will be the best version of who you

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are for your own family to begin with.

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The best child the best son, the best brother, the best husband, the best father, the best grandfather, ever, ever, ever.

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Our children, we are losing them because what they find outside the home is depicting that which is not found in the home in terms of care and guidance. Most of the time it is fake and false outside the house, but it is void in the home nothing. They don't know where to go, who to turn to what to do. That's why we are losing our people, our children, sometimes they are not even rightly guided because you know what, we never ever sat with them. We never taught them we never helped them. We never actually spoke to them with respect as a parent. So my beloved parents who are here, may Allah bless you. Make it easy for you, Allah grant us guidance. May Allah help me to begin with to be the

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best father that I can the best husband, the best brother, the best son,

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and the best member of the community. Why Why do I say this?

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Because Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam has said it many many times. Kiruna see and homeliness the best from among the people are those who are the best to the people themselves. So are you the best in your community? Are you the best on your street? Are you the best to your neighbors? If the answer is yes, voila, you are a good Muslim. If the answer is no, there is room for improvement, a lot of room for improvement online. And like I said the example I gave

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In this part of the world people Mashallah they have very big families Alhamdulillah, my beloved brother, it is a blessing. But blessings need to be appreciated. blessing of Allah needs to be appreciated. You have brothers Be kind to them. You have sisters be good to them, they will be married soon. Be kind to them learn to be soft towards your family members.

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Soft means even when you disagree with something with respect, no screaming and no shouting, no yelling at your own siblings, and your family members and your children and your wife. How can we yell at someone? Imagine if someone were to yell at you scream at you? How would you like it? Imagine your children, you as a man, your children are looking at you. someone walks in and starts shouting you loudly would you like it? They would not like it. So now, if you are doing that to your own wife, or your children, alone, create someone to do something even more disrespectful to you. When de

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la ilaha illa Allah. We don't want that to happen. Let's turn to Allah, people are suffering as a result of their own families. Yet I told you at the beginning families a gift of Allah.

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We need to support each other in goodness and kindness. Don't be too hard. Many times our children are suffering. You know why?

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Simply because we

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we have disagreed with them at a time when we have never played a role in their lives. And now a big decision comes and they have never had guidance from us. So they have never spoken to us. Your son wants to marry a woman whom you don't like. But my father, it's not you who is getting married, it's him. If you were there from the beginning to guide him, he would have been guided. Maybe if you were his friend, he would have listened to you as a friend.

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But you were never there for him. You were never there to guide him. You were never a friend to him. And now suddenly you are coming and you want to impose your ideas. You didn't guide him. You didn't talk to him.

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And you know what happens nowadays?

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Because of the child getting married to someone we didn't like so much we make that lady's life hell, total hell, why no one must talk to her. You must accuse her You must, you know make life difficult for her simply because I didn't like him. We didn't like that is a test from Allah. Be careful. Be careful. You know what goes around comes around. Remember that Kamata Dino to Donna Kamata Dino to Dotto definitely what goes around comes around you did something what law he it will come back to you while I was

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here in Kaduna.

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I was speaking to the sisters earlier and I said you know when they want to swear an oath by Allah, it's enough to say what law but here I have heard them say.

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And I think what's going on?

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They come up with many, many different words of swearing oath all at once in the recitation

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and they lie sometimes. Right or wrong.

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Yes, you see, sometimes they are lying. May Allah forgive us. Allah make us strong. on money, we will enjoy a beautiful life when we are together with Allah, we will enjoy a beautiful life when we are disciplining ourselves good values, good morals, when we are good people really good. Another very interesting factor today soon is easier than good deed Do you know that?

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People are making haram very easy and halaal is very difficult. Do you agree? Young men out there What am I talking about?

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When I say halaal is very difficult. What are we talking about?

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Say it again?

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Say it again?

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Yeah, we are saying marriage You see,

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saying marriage, one or two sets shala. That is also correct. But when you when there is a comparison, Xena has been made so easy today. I believe that the person who protects himself from the sins is actually a friend of Allah. It requires you to be dedicated. And my beloved parents make it easy for your children to marry. I want to tell you what is a massive problem today across the globe. Do you want to hear it?

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pornography Do you agree or not?

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You know what? People have become so badly addicted that you cannot believe it damages your mind. It destroys that very fabric within you. It causes depression. It makes you

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Do not appreciate the gift of Allah that Allah bestowed upon you. It makes you want to do dirtiest things ever. It makes you think in a totally different way. Come on my brothers and sisters,

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surely we can do better. We need to be modest, we need to be upright, we do not peddle these things, we should block for the sake of Allah. Every time there is something haram that comes in front of you, and you deny it and decline it, you have earned your rent in general.

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Because you are remaining away from it for the sake of Allah who is stopping you nothing.

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These PHONES WE HAVE, they can either lead you to good Islamic talks and lectures, values and even education secular or otherwise, you will learn things you will see things you will benefit from things, technological advancement, and the news and so on and whatnot, and it can also destroy you. It's up to you how you want to use it. It has destroyed many people. We need to be disciplined. Family Values are being lost because we don't know how to use our phones.

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We don't know how to use our phones.

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We are dialing the wrong numbers, pressing the wrong buttons, sending the wrong messages to the wrong people had we sent those messages to the right people we would have lived the happiest life. So Pamela, my brothers and sisters. May Allah subhanahu wa taala make it easy for us. We are living in trying times very trying times there are problems everywhere we go. All across the globe, people are searching for contentment and happiness. And levena mano de Palma,

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boo boo de la, de la Tacoma.

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Those who believe they achieved contentment through the remembrance of Allah. It is only through the remembrance of Allah that the hearts will be calm and content, learn to remember Allah, people are searching for contentment, contentment to Allah He is not in money, it is not in wealth, it is not in good looks. It is not all that is temporary. That is happiness, not contentment. You might be happy to get a million naira today, but you will be happy Mashallah, who wouldn't be happy? But is that contentment? No. Some of the most content people they didn't have anything. It's not wrong to own. It's not wrong to have. If Allah blessed you would wealth and you are still content, then Allah

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has given you a double favor, neurona Allah.

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We ask Allah to grant that to us.

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We want both wealth as well as contentment.

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That will happen through the pleasure of Allah. When you work hard and you try and earn the pleasure of Allah, Allah will open your doors will open your doors.

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So remember today, what did I say to you be the best version you can have the capacities that you stand in? What is the capacity you are in at the moment? Are you a husband is the best the best. Your wife in your absence should be able to say the man is a good man.

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And Subhanallah if you have a greater responsibility, be good to everyone. What is it costing you? Like I said in this part of the world, many people have multiple wives. One law he

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it is wrong. To maltreat anyone wrong totally wrong to ignore. Just because of age just because of perhaps whatever else, not at all. You need to go out of your way to make sure that each person feels special. Because we are all special. How would you like it to be to be made to feel special. You are given a special smile by someone whom you look up to. It makes your day right. You are treated with a lot of respect.

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Allah He my brothers.

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Remember to respect others alone will give you that we spent

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learn to be kind to people, Allah will give you those who are kind to you and he himself will be coming to you.

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You know someone asked me yesterday in Lagos about how to achieve the mercy of Allah.

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And I said very simple. Be merciful yourself. You will achieve the mercy of Allah.

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Be merciful yourself, you will achieve the mercy of Allah. If you are mercy less, trust me, Allah is not going to touch you with His mercy.

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Law, common law whom Allah

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commonness Hadith of the prophets, Allah, Allah will not have mercy upon the one who does not have mercy on the people have mercy on others speak well, you see a young boy sitting here, give him time of the day he is tomorrow's leader. That's what he is. Greet him. It's okay. And you want nothing besides greeting to make them feel important. That's all when you make someone feel important while you have already invested in your own community,

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make each other feel good. And be honest, hardworking, work very hard, be happy with a little many of us lose family values because we want what we cannot afford.

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We want a phone which we cannot afford, we want some things which we cannot afford. We want a car we cannot afford, we want a ride we cannot afford. We want so many things we cannot afford. That is why we are unhappy. That is why the family is struggling. Learn to be proud of adjusting according to your own budget. If Allah gave you less, so what I will have less no problem I still think Allah hamdulillah

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if I were to ask you, who is the best of creation? What would you say?

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Do you know? Allah chose him to be above, above the others?

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And yet, our shadow the

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the wife of the Prophet salallahu alaihe salam, she says, one month past we did not light a stove in our house because we did not have food. Did you hear that? What were you eating? She said well hang on another month fast. We still did not light a stove because we did not have food.

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What did you eat? Hang on a third month past. We did not like the stove in our house because we did not have food. Imagine? Three months What did you eat? In Hawaii in LA?

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It was only dates and water which we had for how long?

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For how long? Three months dish and water? Can you survive? Can I survive? Now alive? Now alive? For us we will be depressed. Three months and Who was that? Then be?

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A lot of us. We live to eat. We want to eat day and day. Day and night we want to eat day in day out. We are eating

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You know what?

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The Messenger of Allah, the Most Beloved unto Allah three months passed and they were still having what water and dates. And yet they were so happy so content so excited. No Sala missed, nothing missed the ibadah was more than you and I can ever imagine.

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When something goes wrong in our houses, we become depressed. You know why? We don't understand who is Allah. Allah is the provider. He's the provider, turn to Allah, He will give you what you need.

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May Allah make it easy for us? So my brothers

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I really pray that the message I had for you this evening short, concise, although now we have all settled down. But I think it's about time to leave inshallah, I really feel that we can all improve ourselves in a great way. Learn to contribute positively to your own families. No matter who you are. We are all guilty, including myself. Don't think I am not guilty, you are guilty of what of not doing your best you can do better studying with me. I am not taking myself out of the equation. I am also guilty of not doing my best, I need to do better.

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And I need to give importance to those I live with. Be kind to your siblings, how many of us are rough with our siblings? How many of us we grow older, we get married, we are now married, my brothers are married everyone else is married and you know what? We don't want to talk to each other because why? We are jealous of what Allah has given the other one.

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Why are we jealous of what Allah has given the other Allah gave you your account with a lie separate from that account? You know, when you talk bad about someone it does not automatically make you a good person know by you speaking about someone else's achievements will not make you achieve if you are talking in a negative way.

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But if you are speaking in a positive way at least you can achieve a reward or

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at least you can achieve a reward. Be happy for the happiness of others. Mashallah, when there is a wedding, we need to congratulate we need to be there we show happiness Why is there a happy day in the same way with someone and the business deal. We should always be steadfast and straight. We should always be people who do not engage in dirty business deals. Why?

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Baraka Do you want in your home when the money you earned was not Helen

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if you earned money which was not Helen, what Baraka Do you want in your home? May Allah forgive us, Allah grant us Baraka, Allah open our doors, Allah give us long and healthy lives. And Allah subhanho wa Taala bless Not only this, the people who are seated here but more so even those who are outside there are so many outside I know I'm aware of them and I saw a lot of them as it came in those brothers out there by the window by the by the doors they Masha Allah, may Allah make it easy.

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And those who are further apart further out, Allah bless you all the time, the honor, the effort that you have made to come here and attend this evening, even though initially it was a little bit

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what can I say over volume, Mashallah, to put it respectfully, you know, it was the volume was a little bit high. I wish it was like a radio, we could just turn it down a little bit, but we couldn't do much. I tried my best to start with the Koran in order to be able to come the people down. But I think you know what, some people were very, very busy at the bank, expressing their love in a different way. Allah bless you.

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This is

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my beloved brothers. Yes.

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Yes, I promised to tell you what is the meaning of the groom, the groom, we said you know who is a groom, but you know what i said if we are quiet I will say up to now they are not quiet. So I will have to come back to Kaduna inshallah, and remind me what is the groom is by that time you will also be a guru Mashallah

00:31:48--> 00:31:48

Mashallah

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you don't need to just say I mean Mashallah, look at all the groom's here.

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Mashallah tabarrok Allah, Allah subhanho wa Taala open your doors.

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I'm really happy to be here. It's a beautiful place.

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My brothers I have spoken for half an hour I was due to speak for a little bit more than that. But I think we can calmly Charla leave from here. I want to say one last thing before I leave one last thing. You know, some Yes, we are excited to meet each other. Because, yes, perhaps you may think I have benefited from this man, I have listened to what he has said. And Subhanallah I really feel I want to see him and so on. It is there. But I want to tell you, the true reckoning on the day of judgment will have nothing to do with me. It is between you and Allah.

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The true reckoning on the day of judgment has nothing to do with me. You will not be able to say I shook that man's hand. So please give me Jenna that will not work. The way my hand if anything, if you shake it, I wonder what will happen.

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So remember that we are excited about taking photos and selfies. That's an excitement in the dunya remember one thing that truly successful are not those who took selfies. But those who were brought closer to Allah, I don't need you to come closer to me. We need to get closer to Allah. That's the whole aim. I'm going to leave your city remains you will remain your families will remain did you change your life?

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So are we promising that we will change our lives for the better from today?

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That is the most pressing problem. Don't forget in the house of Allah you said inshallah.

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inshallah was so powerful. I know it is not just, you know, sometimes when you tell someone, am I going to see you tomorrow they will say that means I'm not coming don't waste. Don't waste your time. But we said inshallah, can I ask you one more time?

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Are we promising today to change our lives positively from today?

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Goodness.

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Mama Baraka and Amina Muhammad Shahada la de

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la ilaha illa de

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la