Ramadan 2009 – Cape Town – Day 26 Marriage Part 3

share this pageShare Page
Mufti Menk

Channel: Mufti Menk

Series:

Episode Notes

Episode Transcript

© No part of this transcript may be copied or referenced or transmitted in any way whatsoever. Transcripts are auto-generated and thus will be be inaccurate. We are working on a system to allow volunteers to edit transcripts in a controlled system.


00:00:01--> 00:00:03

Salam aleikum wa rahmatullah wa barakato.

00:00:05--> 00:00:35

Bismillah Alhamdulillah wa salatu salam ala rasulillah. Allah Allah He was happy he woman instead of the Buddha who above all praise is indeed due to Allah subhanho wa Taala blessings and salutations upon Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, we ask Allah subhanho wa Taala to grant every one of us acceptance and we ask Allah subhana wa Taala to protect every single one of us, to grant us protection from the devil and from evil. May Allah subhanho wa Taala grant us every form of goodness

00:00:36--> 00:00:39

on a dilemma, beloved brothers and sisters and dearest listeners,

00:00:40--> 00:01:26

as we had promised, we will be continuing with the last segment and section of this particular topic of marriage. It is a very, very important topic. In fact, the response I have got via email is immense and intense. We ask Allah subhanho wa Taala to grant us protection. It shows how many difficulties and problems people are going through and how much misunderstanding shaitan has allowed to creep in, especially between husband and wife. Remember, try your best never to allow a difference of opinion to creep in when it comes to your marriage. May Allah subhanho wa Taala grant us understanding, try to be on best behavior at all times. Because that is what will definitely

00:01:26--> 00:01:31

enhance and promote a happy home happy generations to follow in Sharla.

00:01:32--> 00:02:20

Also, we need to realize that shavon the Devil Satan, one of the prime aims, one of the biggest plans he has is to differentiate is to differentiate or to cause a split between husband and wife. And this is why he goes to get his prize after he has split between husband and wife. And he is awarded a huge enhancing reward by his leader at least May Allah subhanho wa Taala protect the soul. That having been said, we also need to realize and understand that we spoke about appointing certain representatives from either side when there is a problem and the problem cannot be resolved by the two of them. We need to know that sometimes, yes, family members at times are not qualified enough

00:02:20--> 00:02:56

or their hearts are not clean enough to be able to help you. Sometimes family members themselves create the problem because they have something against the other party, we ask Allah subhanho wa Taala to open our doors of understanding. And this is why it is important that when we select a representative the Quran says min Allah or from his family or from her family, either party. Together with that, let us select those who have intellect who have experience who have a genuine feeling and not someone who is going to tell you break the marriage.

00:02:57--> 00:03:39

If there is anyone who tells you just break the marriage, they are not genuine, you need to try and try again and try a third time and try as hard as you can, before you even discuss the issue of splitting and separating. And each time you go to a new counselor May Allah subhanahu wa taala grant us the ability to go to those who have sound knowledge of the Sherry And together with experience, you need to know you are going to have to start all over again. May Allah subhanho wa Taala give us the heart to turn a new leaf and to forgive those who are our own spouses and to try as hard as we can. Then obviously we mentioned the fact of divorce being a gift from Allah subhanho wa Taala at

00:03:39--> 00:03:52

times to get you out of a situation and to get you out of oppression and to get you out of that which might result in your mental downfall as well as emotional May Allah subhanho wa Taala protect us all.

00:03:53--> 00:04:39

It is also important that we realize that really nowadays we have a very, very great proportion or ratio of people who goes through divorce, very great. But the reason why they go through divorce is sometimes very basic, very small, a minor issue something very small, they allow it to grow and to blow out of proportion. This is why it is important to resolve a matter as soon as it starts. When a fire starts you would be very intelligent if you actually extinguished it as soon as possible rather than to wait for the whole house to catch and then you want to bring the dozer to come and now extinguish it. Even if you bring the whole fire brigade they won't succeed your house will be burnt.

00:04:39--> 00:05:00

When you see a small spark immediately try and resolve it instead of waiting for the whole house to catch fire. May Allah subhanho wa Taala protect us this evening I have chosen to go through three very important examples in the Quran and really they are so deep and so beautiful and they show to us the beauty

00:05:00--> 00:05:14

80 of marriage, the beauty of our spouses and the beauty of the life when we are together May Allah subhanho wa Taala grant us understanding the first example is that in Surah Al Baqarah I'm sure many of us know the verses of by heart,

00:05:15--> 00:05:20

where Allah subhanho wa Taala describes a husband and a wife, Allah says,

00:05:29--> 00:06:15

they are like clothing unto you or men, and the men are like clothing unto you the wives, so the wives are like clothing unto their husbands and the husbands are like clothing unto their wives. It might seem a very light verse when you skip when you like whip through it as you are reading the Quran, but believe me today if Allah grants us the acceptance, you will see the depth or some of the depth of this particular verse. What is clothing, clothing beautifies you that is the first quality of the spouse, they are meant to take the good out of you in Sharla which means expose the good in you inshallah, and they are meant to beautify you and they are meant to give a good image of you

00:06:15--> 00:07:00

inshallah, you will not wear clothing that is that of disgrace. The same applies your spouse is not meant to disgrace you may Allah subhanho wa Taala grant us the first understanding thereafter, your clothing changes with the changing of the season in the cold weather you will wear warm, and in the hot weather you will wear a little bit cool. This shows us the reason for this is to protect you from outside environment. Your spouse is supposed to protect you from outside environment. When Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was faced with jabril and revelation for the first time he felt quite heavy, and he rushed down to his wife Khadija taburiente, Hawaii lado de la senza

00:07:00--> 00:07:45

Maloney, Sam Maloney Cover me cover me and his wife comforted him to the highest degree, that is also the term clothing so Hanna love providing comfort providing warm when warmth is needed, and providing the cool breeze when it is needed. Alhamdulillah so clothing also changes with the changing of time and it fits into the situation. A person who is wearing hot clothing on on a hot day will not like that clothing, they would sweat and perspire May Allah subhanho wa Taala grant us understanding and may He make us from those who can look into this example. Let's move further into the example. When it comes to clothing, if you have for example, an operation where you have been

00:07:45--> 00:08:28

medically operated on your belly or anywhere in your body, what would clothing do to you it would cover the scars that you have Allahu Akbar, your spouse is meant to cover up for you and not to go and tell the whole world you know my wife is like this and my husband is like that. No, you are meant to cover up you are meant to be clothing over and above that. clothing is there in order to cover your private paths and your shame as it were. So your husband or your wife, you as a spouse are meant to be protecting them and you are meant to be looking after them and you are meant to be covering up wherever you can May Allah subhanahu wa taala help us promote the good and look at the

00:08:28--> 00:09:09

good and concentrate on the good whereas when there is something negative yes, we do know inside that there is something negative but at the same time it will not be exposed in public. Do not clean your linen in public May Allah subhanho wa Taala protect us. Let's move further down that example. When you want to buy clothing you first go to a shop that you're that fits your pocket. You will not go to a shop where the cheapest clothing is 10,000 brands when your salary is only 500 grands which means when you are looking for a spouse, look for someone on your level. Look for someone on your level don't look for someone whom it is going to be so expensive to look after them. The marriage

00:09:09--> 00:09:56

won't really work. May Allah protect us. Let me take the example further. When you walk into Say for example, this store, What size do you buy? Do you buy your size? Or do you buy a bigger size or a smaller size. Even if you happen to weigh a little bit more you will still buy clothing that is your size. Even if the clothing that is small and tight fitting looks very nice. Maybe if you were to buy that, it might look beautiful. Once you wear it, it will take a look at that. So when you get someone who is not on your level of spirituality or on your social level, it might look nice, it might look beautiful. As soon as you get married it is Allahu Akbar, may Allah protect us. The

00:09:56--> 00:10:00

marriage won't last it won't work because the Hadith teaches us about

00:10:00--> 00:10:44

Kapha Kapha meaning to look for someone in your social standing to look for someone whose likes and dislikes will be similar to look someone on your spiritual level to look for someone who will not be a burden upon you in any way and who will not be so low are so high that you will not be able to reach below or to reach above in order to reach them. May Allah subhanho wa Taala grant us understanding so tight clothing, no one buys if you are a size 10 and you were to buy a size six, you would have to keep it in your cupboard and closet you won't be able to benefit from it. May Allah protect us. And if you were for example to buy clothing that is too big. Say for example, you

00:10:44--> 00:11:21

are a 32 waist and you buy a trouser which is 38. Believe me, it will embarrass you in public law cover. You might need a belt to hold it up. And when it comes to marriage we don't want to talk about about Allahu Akbar. May Allah subhanho wa Taala grant us understanding Look at how beautiful the example of clothing is. The most intimate relation you have, whether you know it or not, is with your clothing Allahu Akbar. May Allah subhanho wa Taala grant us protection and understanding that is the power of the Quran. We've only been through a segment of one verse, the power of the verse when Allah speaks about the spouse and Allah says

00:11:30--> 00:12:02

they are like clothing unto you and you are like clothing unto them. Now do we see that in that verse? He is teaching us how to select a spouse, how to marry the spouse and how to live with the spouse as well. So behind Allah bl Allah. Let's move on to another verse. If we open the verses of the Quran in surah alpha in Surah Surah we will find just before so I have seen Allah subhanho wa Taala makes mention of the fact that he has created us in pace listen to what he says what Allahu Allah

00:12:04--> 00:12:05

Torabi

00:12:10--> 00:12:12

Masha Allah come as why

00:12:13--> 00:13:05

it is Allah who has created you from dust or from sand or from soil and thereafter from the seed. and thereafter he has made you pays, he has made you into pays. Let's listen and concentrate. He is telling us that he has made us male and female. And then he is showing us immediately after that other creatures of his whom he has also made in pays. And he is drawing to our attention that nothing goes wrong in the other creatures, because they go according to Alice plan. And if you were to go according to Alice plan, nothing would go wrong in your union as well. So Pamela, have you ever seen anything going wrong between the sun and the moon between the night and the day and so on?

00:13:05--> 00:13:16

Never ever because they listen to what Allah says to the tea. The lesson is, if you were to listen to what Allah says to the tea, nothing would go wrong as well.

00:13:17--> 00:14:00

And this is an example given in Suraj fathur. Many of us think that we will receive and achieve happiness by undressing in public, or by uncovering our hair. If that is the case, it is like the sun saying that today I really want to fight this moon, I'm going to come out at night Allahu Akbar. The sun has never had a dispute with the moon because it obeys the command of Allah subhanho wa Taala. But with us with our minds and brains, Allah is showing us that look, there is only one way to succeed. And that way is to adopt what Allah the creator of yourself and every other creature of Allah subhanho wa Taala has dictated there is no other way to receive happiness. You know, when you

00:14:00--> 00:14:31

have a Toyota for example? Wouldn't you be a fool if you arrived at the BMW showroom and you told him I'd like to sell my car, or I'd like to service my vehicle. You want to take a Toyota to those who did not make it, they will laugh at you. Now that is a simple example. We don't see anyone with a Toyota taking it to the BMW showroom. Why do we see human beings who are made by Allah taking themselves to others besides Allah to look for goodness and happiness and to service them now? Allah subhanho wa Taala grant us understanding

00:14:32--> 00:15:00

simple example for the brain. For the one who wants to know imagine if your motor vehicle is not working and you were told that you need to put oil here and you suddenly think that you are too clever. You want your car to work, the professional told you where to put oil and what is wrong with your vehicle. And you take the oil and you put it where the petrol is supposed to go because you think you're clever, what will happen, your car will stop functioning that is what we are doing with our

00:15:00--> 00:15:41

selves on a daily basis on a different level. Where we have problems Allah gives us the solution in the Quran he tells us what to do and where to do it and how to do it. And we go for further and we don't want to do it the way Allah decides. That is why our spiritual vehicle will halt, it will come to a halt, it will grind to a halt, we ask Allah subhanho wa Taala not to not to do that to us. And we ask Allah subhanho wa Taala to grant us understanding. So after Allah subhanho wa Taala says He created us in pace, he gives us a few examples and all of them are to draw our attention to how well they get on and to draw the lessons there from listen to what Allah subhanho wa Taala says

00:15:42--> 00:15:44

on yesterday when

00:15:47--> 00:16:36

he says the two oceans are not the same. They are two totally different oceans. This verse he says it immediately after telling us that he has made us in pace. He tells us look, even the oceans we have created them. They depend on one another they are two to two they come in pairs Allahu Akbar, and this is why they are not the same, but they hold each other up. If one ocean did not exist, the other one would collapse. The two oceans are held together. One cannot call itself an ocean unless the other one is they it will not be there. One might be green and one one might be green, one might be blue. One might be sweet, one might be salty, and Subhana Allah not only the colors, one might be

00:16:36--> 00:16:43

warm, the other might be cold, but they are holding each other up. Allah says wa Jalla Bina Houma barossa.

00:16:45--> 00:17:27

Jumeirah we have kept between the oceans a barrier they will not cross the barrier. Mother and father, husband and wife you have a role to play do not cross the barrier. A wife is not a wife unless she has a husband. The husband is holding her up. A husband cannot go out on the street a man without the wife cannot go and say I'm a husband, they will take him to the med hospital. You have to have a wife in order to call yourself a husband. So that is why the oceans are only called oceans. When the two are holding each other up. Though Allah says they are not the same. A man is brought up in a totally different home and a woman is brought up in a totally different home, but

00:17:27--> 00:17:39

the two of them together will help enhance one another May Allah subhanho wa Taala help us inshallah portray the best of qualities that we have and eradicate the negative qualities we may be having.

00:17:40--> 00:17:47

So Allah subhanho wa Taala speaks about the differences in the two waters, he says had a boon for

00:17:49--> 00:17:50

shabu.

00:17:54--> 00:18:31

On this side of the ocean, you will find sweet water that you can drink and on the other side you will find salty water but you need that salty water as well and you need the sweet water as well. The salt pans Mashallah you find them in Port Elizabeth and in other places Mashallah where the water is more salty Alhamdulillah so we need it for salt. without salt in our food what would happen, we would never ever be able to enjoy the taste of that food. Try your food without salt one day and this is why it's important that no one must debate with one another to say you are the sweet and I am the salt I am the salt and you are the sweet and so on. May Allah subhanho wa Taala protect

00:18:31--> 00:18:49

us We are both equally needed. Both our qualities are needed within the marriage in order to make it work. So in the same way that you need the sweet water for the water you need the salty water for the salt Alhamdulillah and Allah subhanho wa Taala says there is goodness on both sides of the oceans listen to what he says

00:18:51--> 00:18:51

wamena

00:18:53--> 00:19:36

coluna Allah mo Toria from both sides you will find fish fish is not on one side. So from this side you will find fish the other side you will find fish in the marriage You will find goodness with the bride goodness with the groom. But would you ever get fish without going out to fish? Do the fish suddenly jump out of the ocean and say right eat me Mashallah. No, that's not what happens. Amazing. What would actually happen is you need to take a rod and you need to fish but for your information if you go to the ocean with a rod you might only catch one fish, you rather go with a trawler and catch a lot kilos and tans Alhamdulillah and you can do business thereafter. Alhamdulillah so we ask

00:19:36--> 00:19:59

Allah subhanho wa Taala to grant us understanding and effort is required if you want to achieve benefit from your spouse, and if it is required. If you would like to fish, it won't just come to you the same way. If you want to see the positive points in your spouse you need to definitely work hard. You need to understand you need to try you need to think carefully you need to make an effort and in charge

00:20:00--> 00:20:45

You will find that that benefit the benefit of pure meat inshallah you will be able to benefit from it inshallah. Let's move further. Allah subhanho wa Taala says, What does Stephanie Jonah Hillier? Tell by Suna if you want to make a bigger effort, you will be able to extract pearls from the deepest part of the oceans that you will then be able to adorn yourself with. So if you are ready to make a bigger effort in your marriage, you will be able to then see the shining of your spouse the good qualities of your spouse inshallah, but for that a deeper effort is required a great sacrifice is required. Ask those who die for pearls they almost risked their lives.

00:20:46--> 00:21:25

But when they come up, they come up with a pearl Mashallah and they are so happy it is worth a million other commodities of this dunya Subhana Allah. So that is why if you are ready to put on that oxygen mask and go into the deep oceans, you will come out with the pearls Alhamdulillah in your marriage, if you are ready to sacrifice, even though it might seem to you that it is almost broken, that's not true. I beg to differ. If there is an effort on both sides inshallah, you will be able to extract those pearls and you will be able to come out with them. Don't worry about the adversity as you are diving, there might be sharks in the path. You might be scared, you might be

00:21:25--> 00:22:06

bitten you might this you might that but it is only with that effort, that you will then be able to adorn yourself and to be honest with you, husband and wife, they are adornment for one another Subhanallah it is important that a wife dresses up to the tee for her husband. If she does not do that there is a chance and possibility that his eyes may wonder May Allah protect us all. And the same applies. It's no use to say the wife must dress up for the husband. The husband needs to be prim and proper as well in Sharla meaning he must not come home smelling and filthy and then he expects Mashallah to be intimate in the condition where nobody can tolerate the scent or the stench

00:22:06--> 00:22:12

that is coming from Him. May Allah protect us to keep yourself clean is part of Islam and the man it is part of your faith.

00:22:13--> 00:22:52

And we need to realize that these the religion we are following has stressed on cleanliness more than anything else. We need to cleanse ourselves spiritually to start with and then even physically in sha Allah. So if you are to make a bigger effort in sha Allah what will happen, you will then be able to dig deeper and go deeper and you will be able to receive inshallah, the goodness and the benefit of your marriage May Allah subhanho wa Taala help us in sha Allah in every single way. Let's move further inshallah through these verses after speaking about the oceans, the fact that they are not the same, the fact that if you are to receive any benefit, you will get fish from both sides.

00:22:53--> 00:23:24

There are different types of fish on either side, you will find a certain type of fish in one ocean and you might not find the same fish in the other ocean. So it does not mean that there is only one type of fish in the world. So many different types of goodness inshallah, if one thing might go wrong, another 10 things will go right in your marriage in Sharla and if there is one negativity, they will be so many other positives that you will not find elsewhere. That is a solid point that you need to think of May Allah subhanho wa Taala help us appreciate our spouses.

00:23:25--> 00:24:14

Then Allah subhanho wa Taala says, What are McAfee ma ke Ronnie Tabata, woombye falguni Allah says when you see the ship, it cleaves through the waves. When a ship crosses from one Ocean to the other. Do you notice that you've crossed into another ocean? The answer is no, it crosses it cleaves through the waves. For us, there are many lessons to draw from that. So canon law, I will only come up with one or two. The reality is you may be totally different but when you are together when the others members of your family and so on and the broader society happened to see you You need to realize they must not notice the differences you have do not clean your linen in public. You will

00:24:14--> 00:24:53

they will sail straight through like a ship sailed straight through the different waters. It doesn't mean that now you crossed and suddenly the ship starts rocking and so on. Unless an expert will tell you we've crossed into the next ocean Subhanallah without that you wouldn't have known is that not true? Yes, it is true. So the same applies. There might be certain people who might know that we might be going through turbulence but as I said a few days ago that you do not tell your sadness to others. Do not relate it to your friends or family for that matter. To start with. You need to make sure you have tried your best to make that marriage of yours work inshallah.

00:24:54--> 00:24:59

We ask Allah subhanho wa Taala to soften the hearts inshallah. So as you have the ship

00:25:00--> 00:25:21

moving across in order to benefit from the ocean. The same applies to us if we'd like to benefit from one another, we need to abstain from cleansing our lemon in public. When you have a problem, don't scream and shout such that the neighbors can hear you. And don't scream and shout in front of your own children. May Allah subhanho wa Taala protect us.

00:25:22--> 00:25:26

After that, the next verse, Allah subhanho wa Taala gives us another example.

00:25:27--> 00:25:34

The other example is that of the night and the day he says, you will need to lie laughing.

00:25:38--> 00:26:25

Laney was a 401 camo. The night goes into the day and the day goes into the night that is the plan of Allah. Listen very carefully, what do we learn from that for our marriages. When the night goes into the day, if the day is short, the night automatically becomes long. And if the night is short, the day automatically covers up and it becomes long Subhana Allah when there are shortfalls from your spouse, you need to make that extra effort to cover up inshallah, if for example there might be one shortfall this side you need to be extra good inshallah to cover it up. And if there is one extra point on this side inshallah, then you may be relaxed. May Allah subhanahu wa taala grant us

00:26:25--> 00:27:07

protection the same way that is the system of Allah. If Allah wanted, he could have kept day and night exactly equal all along, but he says no, that's not what he does. When one changes the other one exceeds or increases or decreases accordingly. What we need to learn from this is you need to be tolerant one day you might have to exercise more patience than the other something might happen in your house. Maybe someone might do something that you didn't really like that day you need to have more patience. And another day when you do something that requires their patience, they also need to be patient and forgiving inshallah. So there is a give and take in marriage Subhana Allah and look

00:27:07--> 00:27:48

at how the night and the day never ever failed because that is the plan of the Creator. Subhana Allah, Allah Allah, they LISTEN and OBEY to the instructions of Allah subhanho wa Taala if we are to listen and obey, do you think something will go wrong? May Allah subhanahu wa taala grant us all protection from shade and protection from the devil. So these are some of the examples Allah subhanho wa Taala has given us in Surah Fatah amazing, let us now move to another Surah Surah Yusuf where Allah subhanho wa Taala also speaks of a different example all together. Remember when the examples are given in the Quran, they are the examples of the Creator Himself Allah subhanho wa

00:27:48--> 00:28:16

Taala they can be no mistake or no error when it comes to the plans or the examples sorry of Allah subhanho wa Taala no mistake. So Allah subhanho wa Taala speaks of a dream in Yusuf alayhi salatu salam surah, the surah where his story is mentioned. And Allah subhanho wa Taala says that Yusuf Alayhi Salam told his father, in the year I had I shall go

00:28:19--> 00:29:09

bomb out on a limb Lisa God, oh my father, I have seen the sun and the moon and 11 stars prostrate to me in a dream. And his father told him Oh, my son, don't tell your dream to others less they are jealous. So just leave it anyway, a long story short right at the end of that surah Allah subhanho wa Taala says that the translation of the dream was made clear. What was the translation of the dream. The sun that was in the dream was depicting the father use of Annie salams father Yaqoob, Jacob May peace be upon him. So the sun was depicting the Father. The moon was depicting the mother and the stars were depicting. The children are the brothers of use of La Salatu was salam, the

00:29:09--> 00:29:58

children of those parents. Now if we take a look at that example, and we analyze it, it is a biblical example. It has no errors in it, it is a flawless the relation between the sun the moon and the stars, is exactly similar to that of the mother, father and children of any successful home Subhan Allah. Now let's go into that. The sun the qualities of the sun, are those qualities which are meant to be found in the father of any successful house. So the sun is very strong Mashallah very powerful in the home Alhamdulillah the sun shines, it gives you a sense of security, when the sun is out Mashallah that is when you find the plants will photosynthesize. There is growth, there

00:29:58--> 00:30:00

is blossoming there is beauty.

00:30:00--> 00:30:02

looming once the sun is out,

00:30:03--> 00:30:47

when the sun is out, the stars are there. But you will not notice the stars because you cannot look at the sun directly with your naked eye. Doesn't that depict some form of respect between the parent between the father in particular and the children not to say that you cannot look him in the eye, but to say that he commands a greater respect in the house? That is the role he is the breadwinner? Is that not supposed to be correct? in our homes, it is supposed to be the case may Allah subhanho wa Taala help us rectify that inshallah. The father is supposed to play that role of being the breadwinner in the home, he is the one who is the the final decision maker What that means is, it is

00:30:47--> 00:31:33

the father's duty to listen to the opinions of the mother and the children and others and so on. And on merit, he must then make a decision according to the best opinion that was presented to him or if his was even better than he can make the decision according to his own opinion. Now, we have the sun, let's speak about it a little bit more. The role of the Sun is so great and so powerful. Just imagine for a moment as we go out on a gloomy day where they where there is a lot of cloud and there is no sun, what happens on that day, you feel more like going into the bed and going to sleep Allahu Akbar, at times depending on how dark and windy it is here in Cape Town Mashallah, in one day you

00:31:33--> 00:32:13

can have four seasons Alhamdulillah sometimes it is as freezing as you can ever think of in the morning, and then suddenly it is so hot and moments later there is rain Allahu Akbar, may Allah Subhana Allah Allah grant us understanding, I think across the globe, the weather is becoming very erratic. And that is very, very closely indicative of the fact that we do as families are becoming erratic. One day we happy and two minutes later we are fighting and another three minutes later, we actually really cannot do with each other and five minutes later we don't want to see each other's face. That is the weather that is what is going on across the globe. May Allah subhanahu Allah grant

00:32:13--> 00:32:14

us all protection.

00:32:16--> 00:32:58

So the qualities of the Sun if we look at them, they are many more inshallah we are meant to really be men who have those qualities. Let's look at the moon Mashallah the moon you can look at it. You can look at it and you can admire it beautiful moon Mashallah. And you can look at it all night and admire it Alhamdulillah the mother of the home the wife in the house, may Allah subhanahu wa taala grant us the coolness of our eyes in our spouses and our children. I mean, and then if you ask yourself, where does that moon get its light from? Does it have its own light? No, it doesn't. It gets the light from the sun. So the stronger the sun, the brighter the moon Allahu Akbar. The more

00:32:58--> 00:33:39

you play your role in a stronger manner in a more fulfilling manner the stronger the role of the mother will be in the house. If you yourself are not a solid Father, what do you expect of your own wife being a mother may Allah subhanho wa Taala protect us. So you have the role of the moon beautiful, what happens to the stars, when the moon is out, you find the stars are twinkling, Mashallah, they are twinkling up in the sky and you can see them different sizes and shapes and colors Mashallah. This should be depicting the close relation between the mother and the children Mashallah, because when the mother is around Alhamdulillah, the children are so close, and they are

00:33:39--> 00:34:18

so close that they can actually say whatever they feel with respect, obviously, but at the same time, they are there, not to say that the children don't have a relation with their father, they are there when the sun is out, the stars are still there. But the significance of the Sun is so great that the little stars are not noticed Allahu Akbar. So when the father comes in the house, he needs to be a role model for his children. That is what we learn so can Allah if the father is not going to be a role model then what will you have? You will start seeing stars during the daylight Allahu Akbar, may Allah subhanho wa Taala protect us all. Let's take a look at the moon Mashallah. The moon

00:34:18--> 00:35:00

has a lot of peace in it. A lot of tranquility calm, there is silence. People are sleeping, they are feeling relaxed at that time. These are the qualities that a mother in the home is supposed to be having. When it comes to her own children. You take a crying baby, mostly that crying little baby the minute the mother takes hold of the child it will probably go to sleep. The comfort of the arms of the mother is equivalent to none other than the same mother may Allah subhanho wa Taala grant us understanding. So that is the quality of these are some of the qualities of the moon Subhana Allah. Let us take a deeper look at the moon. Do you see a fool

00:35:00--> 00:35:43

Every day no Mashallah We are not trying to say women are extremely emotional but at the same time what we are saying is, the moon is not there every single day, one day it's full The next day, it's quarter The following day, possibly after some time, it will be three quarter, then it is a crescent, we all look forward to finding the crescent inshallah, and some days it is not even they go out and it's not there, Allahu Akbar, the moon goes through a 28 day cycle, and so does every female by the will of Allah subhanho wa Taala. We ask Allah subhanho wa Taala to assist the women folk in this regard in Sharla. So they will naturally have different emotions, we know of a medical

00:35:43--> 00:36:29

term where they describe the emotions of a female just prior to those days. And we realize and understand it as well, the emotions are different. So in the same way, we need to realize and understand that we will not be able to see the moon every single day, we will also not be able to have the same emotions on a daily basis from the same female May Allah subhanho wa Taala grant us understanding and protection in Sharma. The same applies if we are to try and look at the role of the moon, when we see the moon, we will then find that the sun will not be there noticeable, though it is right on the other side of the Earth from where we are standing, the sun would be shining from

00:36:29--> 00:36:39

the other side of the earth and it would be beaming its rays on to the moon. Hence, we on Earth would then be able to see this moon. Let's move to one simple example.

00:36:40--> 00:37:31

When you have an eclipse, what happens, what actually happens, the moon comes into the place of the sun, and the sun comes into the place of the moon. And we find that we have an eclipse, they have confused their roles. What happens is one comes into the path of the other both of them disappear, and you won't see the stars, you definitely won't see the stars. And the Hadith tells us that is it is a sign of tiama the hadith of Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, he tells us when you see the sun or the moon eclipsing, you'd better engage in da until that particular sun or moon goes back into its cause and you see it come back, you engage in do you engage in Salah because it is indeed a

00:37:31--> 00:38:20

sign from amongst the signs of Allah subhanho wa Taala because one day the sun will rise from the west and set in the east. And that day, it will be a major sign of tiama some of the scholars make mention of an Eclipse and when the sun and the moon are eclipsed, then the sun will move in the other direction as it is coming out. And this is why we are told by the prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam to engage in and to engage in the tech appeal of Allah subhanho wa Taala and Salah until the sun returns or the moon returns to where it is supposed to be that we know there is a whole Salah known as Salah of the eclipse, Salah tunku, or salatu salam. Now what happens is, we've heard a

00:38:20--> 00:38:23

little bit of the roles of mother and father in the house.

00:38:24--> 00:39:07

When mother wants to be father and father wants to be Mother, what would happen they would be a clash of roles. And this is why I have been saying for the last two days that it is not a battle as to who is more powerful. It is definitely a battle as to who is fulfilling their role in the best way. When mother wants to be father and father wants to be mother they will be a social Eclipse, they will be chaos in that home. And do you know who will suffer the most the children will suffer the most because they are grappling and they are searching and hunting for guidance for light for love for comfort. If they cannot get it from mother and father, they may then turn elsewhere which

00:39:07--> 00:39:53

might become extremely dangerous. May Allah subhanho wa Taala grant our children insha Allah, the acceptance to see the benefit of both mother and father. I mean, we also realize and understand that when a man wants to be a woman and a woman wants to be a man, the Hadith of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam has cursed such people. And he says it is a sign of tiama it is a sign of the end of times, we find nowadays May Allah protect us all. We hope it is not in our homes, but in many places you find people have mixed their roles. Allah subhanho wa Taala has left the role of a female the role of a female and the role of a male is indeed a masculine role. We need to assume these

00:39:53--> 00:39:59

responsibilities and we need to execute them in the best way possible so that we can achieve the mercy of Allah somehow.

00:40:00--> 00:40:00

hautala

00:40:01--> 00:40:42

and this is why it is important that we look at these examples in the Quran. And we extract the jewels and the diamonds from these examples, they are not coincidences. They are carefully planned by Allah subhanho wa Taala. And really if you open the books of Tafseer they will come a time when you will come through so many different examples of the Quran. Just the parables, just the similitudes of the Quran, where you can derive a lot of benefit therefrom Take a look at this dream Allahu Akbar, we ask Allah subhanho wa Taala to grant us benefit from this dream inshallah. And we ask Allah subhanho wa Taala, to open the doors of all of us in this dunya and in the era, remember

00:40:42--> 00:41:23

to fulfill your role. Remember the qualities that are required of a male, remember the qualities that are required of a husband in the house, and the qualities of a wife in the house, we ask Allah subhanho wa Taala to make us really from those who can uplift and uphold. And at the same time when it comes to the children, we need to have a very good link and relation with our children, the doors of communication need to be open 24 hours of the day, if your child cannot communicate with you and cannot tell you exactly what is in his or her heart, then probably your relation with them is not ideal, because then they will go to the neighbor, they will go to their friends at school, they will

00:41:23--> 00:41:39

go elsewhere. And they will want to get help from people who are not qualified enough nor do they have a genuine feeling, nor do they sometimes have parents who have looked after them. Rather, they will be educated by the television May Allah subhanho wa Taala protect us all.

00:41:40--> 00:42:24

So it is important to have a very open relation. And an open relationship does not mean you must let them get away with murder, know where they are wrong. You need to speak to them, convince them talk to them tolerate what they are saying but then utilize your mind to convince them. The reason we say convince them is if you were to use the stick in order to make sure that whatever you say goes then for as long as you are present, they will listen to you the minute you go out, they will be on the other side May Allah subhanho wa Taala grant us protection. But if you have convinced your child to do something, then naturally the even in your absence the child will know I've got to read my Salah.

00:42:24--> 00:43:09

Why? Because of this benefit that benefit that benefit. I've got to tell the truth, not because my father is gonna beat me up No, because I have a responsibility to my Creator, I need to be a good loyal, lawful Muslim, may Allah subhanho wa Taala grant us understanding. So the idea or the issue of communication both within the marriage between husband and wife, as well as the children is extremely important. And we'd also like to open one more door of communication or the importance of one more point of communication is between the parents and the children, the in laws and the sons or daughters in law, that is also a very, very important door. And remember one thing whenever you want

00:43:09--> 00:43:51

to correct someone, don't hold back, whenever you want to correct someone even if they are going to feel bad, for as long as you are polite and respectful Subhan Allah, if they are decent human beings, they will understand it if not today, then tomorrow, you are not allowed to leave back correction where you feel that someone is going wrong, you need to address it as soon as possible because if you don't, they will plunge deeper into the disaster and it may have a ripple effect or a stippling effect whereby so many other people will be harmed by the damage of you not having corrected the individual or the person. So, even if your parents are going wrong, your children are

00:43:51--> 00:44:34

going wrong your spouse is going wrong your in laws are going wrong and so on. You need to with utmost respect, open the doors of communication and speak to them in sha Allah and through this communication we will achieve and receive goodness inshallah, if we are sincere and we are good. There is one more point before I end for this evening and that is many times many times as human nature as human nature, people think that they are the only ones who are right. And what happens is you sit and you listen to an opinion and you say no ways this is out. Believe me the criteria is whether or not Allah has commanded it. If Allah subhanho wa Taala and His Messenger have instructed

00:44:34--> 00:45:00

something Yes, then we will shut off and we will listen to that inshallah. But when it comes to other opinions of this world, your spouse, your children, your parents, your in laws, believe me, it cannot be overstressed for us to say that we definitely need to listen to others opinions and give up your view. Giving up your view at times when it rarely is just a worldly opinion is

00:45:00--> 00:45:41

Sometimes a very great act of worship, and it will help resolve and solve so many problems in your marriages and in your homes. Just by giving up your opinion you definitely dearly think and believe that things must happen this way. Believe me for once please try and turn and see another direction. May Allah subhanho wa Taala help us in every single way. I've decided to keep it a little bit shorter today as it is the second last night tomorrow inshallah we will be completing the Quran in this Masjid. We ask Allah subhanho wa Taala to benefit us all, and to grant us all the acceptance to have listened to every single word of the Quran. And at the same time tomorrow evening, we hope and

00:45:41--> 00:46:34

pray that we can go through some of the supplications and do as that Allah subhanho wa Taala has made mention of in the Quran, with the idea of benefiting from it, starting with the fact that we need to make a dua that Allah grant us spouses and children who will be the coolness of our eyes. Listen to what Allah subhanho wa Taala says in Surah Furqan describing the believers the true believers he says, while levena Jaco no narrow bana habarana mean as Gina was re Yeah, Tina kurata noon. Nanny tokina Emma, the true believers are those who make a prayer to say Oh Allah, grant us from our wives and our children, those who will be the coolness of our eyes, and make us leaders of

00:46:34--> 00:47:13

the righteous of Han Allah. So this dua we need to make it on a constant basis. The reason is, if you are not married, Allah will grant you a spouse who will be the coolness of your eyes together with righteousness. And if you are married Allah subhanho wa Taala can help improve your condition as well as the condition of your spouse through the same drama and supplication. May Allah subhanho wa Taala grant us happiness in this dunya as well as in the era and May Allah subhanho wa Taala help us help one another. And at the same time, may he really help us to enter Jenna through His mercy for sallallahu wasallam albaraka Allah Nabina Muhammad Subhana Allah Subhana Allah humblebee Hamdi

00:47:13--> 00:47:15

Ganesha to Allah Allah Allah

00:47:16--> 00:47:16

Allah